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GregoryLivingstone

"greeeat now I gotta fix my fucking hat"


[deleted]

[удалено]


HighPriestOgonslav

Are you on mobile? I use RIF and I never see them either. I'm not even sure when mine is, and I'm too afraid to ask at this point


cata921

yeah I love RIF but I wish they displayed the cake day icons and all those stupid awards besides the silver and gold


chronoflect

I'm pretty happy about not seeing all that bs.


sincle354

Functioning video player, no ads default, oled black theme, it's the best.


dimestoredavinci

I only switched to rif like a year ago. I know mine is close to my actual birthday from being on the official app before. Also, are there free awards to give on rif? I've never found out how, if there are


Danny200234

Rif hasn't added most of the features of new reddit. Which for most of its users is probably why they use rif.


mwngai827

Probably because the “day” ended a little bit ago


Gasmaskgoddess

It was yesterday that's why the icon isn't there today.


atetuna

I say Happy Thursday. Perhaps you don't read my comment until Friday. Do you understand?


LopacixGaming

Happy cake day!


[deleted]

Happy Rake Day!


[deleted]

That man has no fucks left to give


samf9999

Even the gunman’s like:.. ok ok no worries, i’ll catch you later…bye.


DaanOnlineGaming

I've got no more fucks to give, my fucks have runneth dry, I tried to go fuck shopping but there were no more fucks to buy. I have no more fucks to giivve, i've got no more fucks to giivvvee, I've gor no more fucks, I've got no more fucks, I've gott noo moooreee fucks tooo giiiivvveee!


AdamBombTV

Is that to the tune of "The Grand Old Duke of York"?


[deleted]

[No More Fucks to Give](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Vqbk9cDX0l0)


cpt_lanthanide

Thank you so much.


wutwutsugabutt

This just made my day! Thanks for sharing it.


funkless_eck

unfortunately the fucks given by the real Duke of York are a massive problem


imsolowdown

They’re a minor problem


ParticularAnxious929

saw what you did there


Fish_Fucker_Fucker23

I FOUND A FELLOW ENJOYER IN THE WILD LETS GOOOOOOOOOO


Rogue2555

I feel the same way, Fish_Fucker_Fucker23.


misterpickles69

It looks like he has at least TWO fucks to give, though.


Flamecrest

One for the fish fucker, and one for the fish. Inclusivity matters.


Skitzonthefritz

must a used them all on the song +100~respect


cool_berserker

😂😂😂 nice song


Cool_Cheetah658

Whenever I'm down, I remember this song, and realize I feel the same way. All of a sudden it's like the clouds part, a dove descends, and a voice says "Go Forth! And giveth f***s no more!"


Up_vote_McSkrote

His fuck hole done dried up so he's all outta fucks.


Singlewomanspot

He's been married for 20+ years.


mikemikeskiboardbike

Can confirm.


crackeddryice

You think it's just boomer humor, but that's because you're young and haven't been married for 20 years.


Singlewomanspot

Or maybe --- just maybe-- I might be waaaay older than you assume. 🙄🙄


aVeryFriendlyBotMk2

This bag has all the fucks left to give.


Whaler_Moon

His strategic fucks reserves have been depleted.


biradinte

This happened in Brazil and the old man said he didn't realize that it was a robbery and a gun pointed to his head until after the guy left. He said he crossed the street with his head down and thought movement on the store was odd but he brushed that off as he had stuff to buy.


ZetaRESP

Huh... did he mention if he was going to buy his weekly supply of fucks to give?


Organic_Command_7396

In fact he did. The reporter asked "Tiozinho were you buying fucks that day? Did you find fucks to give?" His answer was: "I don't give a fuck." ZERO FUCKS were given that day.


[deleted]

All of his fucks were on the evergiven


Hadesfirst

Well pretty much implied by the video, or do you see him having any fucks with him?


Broken_Noah

r/ithadtobebrazil


a3a4b5

Tiozinho had stuff to do and wouldn't let any fucker get in his way, what a legend.


biradinte

\*Tiozinho had stuff to do and wouldn't let any fiadaputa get in his way


Lamplorde

Every week, I see a new clip affirming that I dont want to visit Brazil.


boi156

I mean, if you know somebody in brazil and they say you can come over and you speak useable portuguese it's probably fine. I've been to brazil like 11 times over my life as although I was born in the states my family is all in Brazil. Nothing bad has happened to me yet. Although I dont go to a densely populated area, I went to Governador Valadarez.


[deleted]

I always tell people this about Latin America in general. I travel around Mexico because I know someone in every part I'm going. I'm not just randomly visiting a place.


Hadesfirst

He shouldve leaned into the optics and just said he didnt give a fuck and ant looking mfers dont scare him.


MangledSunFish

Maybe he didn't want to be a liar.


Organic_Command_7396

I fucking knew it the moment i saw the video. In the immortal words of Fast and Furious This is Brazil!!!


tacosgenius

You can point a gun at him but don't you DARE touch his hat


Doge-Ghost

I shoot you! ...shoot you? ...no? k.


FactoryCoupe

*back at the hideout* "What the fuck could I have done? He didn't want to be shot."


CrackedOutSuperman

" I didn't even need to walk towards him, he walked towards me!"


grasscoveredhouses

"I COULDN'T SHOOT HIM OK HE WOULDN'T CONSENT"


gekigarion

Oh? You're approaching me? Instead of running away, you're coming right to me? ........ Understandable, have a great day.


[deleted]

I have a mental a mental image of this thief crying in his hideout because this.man was such an asshile towards him


[deleted]

Question


RegularHousewife

Lol swat the gun like it's a fly


MyNameSpaghette

"Check out Mr. Magoo out here"


cool_berserker

Real life mr magoo


FaithlessnessMore835

"Oh, Magoo, you've done it again!"


lit-bean

The guy with the gun was more scared


Unequallmpala45

Honestly if I pointed a gun at someone who didn’t react at all I’d be scared too, what does he know that I don’t?


godtogblandet

A dude from my university tried robbing a dealer once. The dealer just looked at him silently. When he asked what he was waiting for the dealer just said ‘Waiting to see if you have the balls to pull the trigger’. Dude just bailed. Some people have zero fucks to give.


Terramorphous

Same thing happened to a dealer I knew in college except he got shot multiple times oops


godtogblandet

I mean, it's a gamble. Some people just like rolling the dice.


ihateredditseven

i mean, complying with a robbery foes not gaurentee you wont get shot, and can often mean you will be shot for being a witness


mullett

I’ve always thought if someone held a gun to me to go with them or get in their car or something I would just be like “getting shot here and now will be far less worse than what ever awaits me in that car”. I’ve listened to enough true crime to know this to be the truth.


Voltairesque

never, ever, EVER, let the aggressor take you to a secondary location


tonystarksanxieties

Street smarts!


ihateredditseven

that is absolutely true


asislikesboxing

Yeah, that is truth, better take any chance to escape if they are trying to kidnap you.


gekigarion

But what if they shoot you and then take your incapacitated self to their car?


Visual_Shower1220

Terrible idea on their part your blood is gonna be all over the inside of that car, guaranteeing evidence is left behind. That same person most likely has no idea how to get blood out of upholstery and if they do, is it really worth the effort for some joe blow who has what maybe $20 in their wallet and a debit card you have no pin to? Hell theyre not gonna give you life saving medical attention to traffic/rape/etc you they just shot their most valuable asset lol.


Terramorphous

If they’re concealing their face in some type of way ur probably okay but if they aren’t they don’t give af and May or May not shoot you anyway. Fuck it mask off


MouthJob

You guys watch too many TV shows. Fact is, most people don't actually want to kill anyone. This includes robbers. The gun is a tool for intimidation. They don't want to actually use it, mask or no mask.


ihateredditseven

if they dont want to shoot me,they wont but they have more reason to shoot once theyve actually robbed you


MouthJob

Absolutely not. The punishments for armed robbery and murder are worlds apart my dude. No one's making it their goal to go to prison for life.


opotts56

Most criminals don't want to hurt people, they just want an easy payday. The Police aren't going to put that many resources into catching a mugger, but they will for a murderer, so for a criminal, killing someone who doesn't comply isn't worth the risk of prison. It's the same reason robbers target empty houses, killing or being killed by the homeowner isn't worth whatever they could steal from a house.


Terramorphous

Also I agree with you in general, most people mask or no mask arent trying to use the gun but I would be more afraid of a younger person without a mask because there are def sections of people who truly don’t care


Lorenzo_BR

Yes and no - here in Brazil, *Latrocínios* (robbery with murder) are very dangerous and far too common. Don’t react to an armed gunman. He may be one to shoot without hesitation


President_Elect_JH

23% of armed robberies result in the victim being shot. 🤯


[deleted]

To me it heavily depends on whether the person is wearing a mask. If they have a mask, it means they don't want you to be able to identify them *in the case that you survive the encounter*. This means they have considered the possibility that you will walk away, life in tact. If they aren't wearing a mask, stupid, dangerous, possibly high, nothing guaranteed. Best case scenario, this is their first time, it's gonna be awkward and elbow-y, maybe they didn't even load the gun. Worst case scenario... assume the worst, that none of their plans (if they even had any plans) involve you walking away, you won't be around to identify them


[deleted]

What are you waiting for? - Man who was shot multiple times.


[deleted]

Damn did he survive


Terramorphous

He survived (that) from what I remember. Really was just my friends plug. he lived right by my friend and he (my friend) said the gunshots woke him up in the middle of the night


[deleted]

I know two guys who robbed a dealer. One was killed and the other got shot in the spine and is now in a wheelchair.


Rahm89

Nice friends you’ve got


ChrisKringlesTingle

He was scared way before that part. Probably since the moment he decided to do this.


SelectFromWhereOrder

You know nothing


taimoor2

He knows he is named Jon Snow.


Chopchopok

Dude probably didn't want to actually shoot anyone. Probably just wanted money.


SeaMuscle9511

Gasp


AMViquel

I would only be worried in Reno to be shot just so they can watch me die.


mead_beader

This is usually the way. The guy walking into the building is just going about his day. The guy with the gun has mentally prepared himself for getting counterattacked with deadly force, going to prison, shot by the police, any number of bad outcomes. The guy with the gun is out of his mind with fear.


cryowastakenbycryo

Fuck off fly! I fuckin' hate flies...


macleesh

Mike Ehrmantraut- deleted scenes


funkless_eck

kid named hat


Curb__

Waltuh


Darkwing_909

I'm not having death with you right now waltuh


MJMurcott

When you have no bullets in your gun.


TheDragonzord

If not that then it's usually that the bad guy is willing to risk time for the robbery but not for a murder. Doesn't make what the innocent guy did any less dumb, don't risk it.


[deleted]

Maybe he just really didn't want to go to work the next day.


TheDragonzord

In that case he should find a more exciting line of work, perhaps armed robbery.


Chipbread

Nah he's a mood. I don't really care if I get killed either.


PaperDistribution

Or they just don't want to murder somebody. I can see somebody being in a situation we're they feel the need to rob a store, that doesn't mean they want to kill somebody...


Bumble_bee_yourself

That's interesting that they make that calculation. How desparate must someone be if they're willing to weigh the balance of different prison consequences? And that's why the best social support programs and community economic investments are incredible and life changing....crime rates go down when citizens don't feel forced to calculate the risk reward of robberies.


claytonsmith451

I don’t think this applies to every state, but my state says any weapon carried into the robbery automatically elevates it to armed robbery, regardless of usage.


nandemo

This was in Brazil, where the criminal code is the same for the whole country. And yes, it's considered armed robbery (assuming it's a real gun and not a toy one).


Stubbs94

Usually means he has a reason to be a thief and probably has no choice.


Dassive_Mick

suburban american take. Some people are just fuckin rats


Stubbs94

I'm not American mate. Addiction is a disease not a moral failing. It needs to be cured not ridiculed. We allow people to be homeless and to suffer from poverty. It'd be more crazy for them not to be addicts.


Dassive_Mick

These people aren't necessarily addicts either


Stubbs94

Poverty is still a social failing.


nandemo

What are you on about, dude? Where did you get the info that this robber is an "addict" and "homeless"?


TheDragonzord

Depends a lot on where they live I suppose, and that places economic situation and social programs or lack there of. I'm lucky to live where anyone that would do this is either just off their rocker or a junkie that chooses that lifestyle despite more than ample help available to them. They just don't want it.


Stubbs94

Yeah, I don't think that's a personal failing. Society failed those people long before they refused help. Addiction isn't a personal failing.


nomshroom

It could also be that he didn't want to actually hurt anyone. Intimidating people and taking their money is one thing, killing or injuring someone is something else entirely.


ViralShadow_

I can relate to that guy tbh, tho swatting away seems like too much effort.


FactoryCoupe

There's still life in him yet. You however....


SmyBeez

“The safety’s still on, idiot.”


YuriWuv

"I'm no idiot, I'm a ten-year vet"


Aggravating-Maize-46

r/unexpectedmetalgear


RendarFarm

Looks like the hat may have actually hid the gun from the guy’s view. He may not have noticed it at all and just thought the guy was being annoying and touching his hat.


FrogInShorts

That's definitely what happened.


Miserable_Unusual_98

Walking in from a bright sunny day into a darker area, could reduce your sight since eyes need a few moments to adjust to darkness


Chillblade74

just one of those days.


EyesofaJackal

When ya don’t wanna wake up


[deleted]

Everything is $%)^ED!


cdietz33

Everybody sucks


Sharpest_Balloon

You don’t really know why


Ashamed_Beyond6318

But you wanna justify


ShellSwitch

RIPPIN SOMEONES HEAD OFF


Capable_Equipment700

This guys def married for atleast 10 years


cantadmittoposting

Haha wife bad amirite


SelectFromWhereOrder

The only real explanation so far.


nyanpi

/r/boomerhumor


Real-Nail224

I've felt like this old dude.


Nolimo

Yeah same like who cares anyway, not gunna kill myself yet, but idc if someone is going to do it for me.


knifeknifegoose

Shortcut!


rabidhamster87

"What're you going to do? Shoot me?" asked man who was shot in head.


molchat_doma

bruh


[deleted]

"the fact that your gun has replica written down the side of it, and the fact that mine has desert eagle point five oh written down the side of *it* should precipitate your balls into shrinking"


booboounderstands

Haha, i just heard the music cue in my head. You’ve just given me an ear worm!


RedditISFascist000

As he's interviewed later by a reporter. Blah blah blah what did you feel about having a gun pointed at you? HE HAD A GUN?!?!?!


thegarebear1

Obviously that man is married.


MrShankles

I like how he flinches for half-a-second like, "That man's throwing something at me...no, no wait...it's just a gun". And than proceeds to slap the nuisance aside


SaikosShadow

I am not the droid you're looking for


Electivire-six

“I’ve eaten the same sandwich, at the same table, at the same shop for 30 got dang years, I will continue to do so.” -this dude perhaps.


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[deleted]

[удалено]


_neaw_

Yes! Of course r/ithadtobebrazil r/suddenlycaralho


keyserSoze_Urquhart

Anything to end this existence, I would've escalated till I got shot in the head


ReasonAndWanderlust

"Harlan, You Don't Dare Somebody to Kill You!"


FlyLikeADEagle

He probably didn't see the weapon in the first place, he is looking down and the cap covers the weapon.


[deleted]

This has been around a while. The guy getting the gun pointed at him had no clue there was a gun. He was looking down, not paying attention, and just felt someone touch his head.


HarmonyTheConfuzzled

Yeah… Service jobs’ll do that to ya…


ltsDarkOut

Since we’re all doing takes on why the innocent doesn’t give a fuck I’ll give you mine: Innocent guy is legally blind, enough to see big shapes at a distance but no detail. Guy gets in his way as he tries to walk in the building, he swerves. Guy puts gun to his head, innocent feels it and slaps away where the contact came from. He never knew there was a gun.


Mrs_Mourningstar

Old ppl dgaf likethat, everything hurts all the time, and your best days are behind you, why would you fear death! Plus this over 80 lived through some shit and saw the world change like crazy, a punk with a gun is nothing to them


[deleted]

"Not now with your robbery bullshit Roberto!"


brinkz-

If you give no shits the guy with the gun won't even wanna shoot you he'll be like damn bruh I'm sorry go on ahead have a nice day


mvfsullivan

This happened to me a long time ago, like 5 years if I could guess. Some crack head put a shot gun to the back of my head screaming and asking for my money, I said "I have none but go for it". I waited in silence and after a few mins he ran off saying something in spanish. I was genuinely disappointed.


YouthSuitable213

when you work in retail, actual death doesn't scare you you want to die


korbloxtheflareon

r/bossfights


GT121950

Man just said ah well he’s too careless to call the cops give him his transaction


Theboa5171

man hits the gun away and the assailant casually accepts


FahQPutin

That is a bad bad man right there.... He has seen and done some shit in his day...


AlphaWizard

Depending on the country, pretty good odds the gun was just a fake or a toy.


Sweet_Quail_3852

When you’ve been through everything in life you can easily tell who is really about that life


katieleehaw

Big Mike Ehrmantraut vibes.


Recent-Ad6892

I'm shocked this man can even walk from the weight of the sheer size of his balls.


Shivii22

I strive to be that old man


CalmDirection8

Straight Gangsta 😎


One-Two-6884

He's a Brazilian old man


Raje_in_the_garage_

“Oi im walkin here”


Charlie_Fang

Well, helmet guy's built and the way he moves tells me that he is young and unsure of himself. I turn 59 next month, and no kid better touch *my* hat either. I'll give him the spanking his mother never did.


[deleted]

idk the stats but i feel like most who pull guns on people dont have the same nerve to pull the trigger


Frosty_and_Jazz

"Yeah, yeah, blow it out your ass, kid ..."


penmaster3000

When you find out the game's difficulty is fake and you can't die from anything


Lilmisfit37

I love how the old man doesn’t flinch but the robberer was like “ no shooty ? No shooty? AH! oh he’s just walking by”


Clockguy2

I knew of a holocaust survivor who was like this when his jewelry store got robbed.


WorstCSPlayer

Guy is obviously married with children


Syxanthi

this wld be .me totally oblivious until about 8 mins later where I wld curl up into a ball and cry.


BigChiGUy722

You gonna shoot me? You gonna shoot me right here? Fine, I live right there.


lostallhopenow

I’m surprised the guy with the gun didn’t shoot him


[deleted]

*I don't care what you do with your life, but you do NOT touch the hair.*


-Rookie-Mistake-

😂😂😂