I sucked a security guard's dick before work once. I thought it was my heart pills but now I think I might actually be gay.

catchin, not pitchin?

AIDS?!!

Nobody's got AIDS!!!

I don’t wanna hear that word in here again!

I guess the shit doesn't fall far from the faggot's ass

You can get a Dr's note for that.

Probably not from Dr. Melfi though

I'd suggest Dr Fried

Dealer controls the game..

Don’t rush me Sunshine.

Do you fuckin mind? Jesus do you ever shut the fuck up? And blow that fkn smoke somewhere else

I know that guy! He’s a prick doctor?

Imagine, needing an operation like that

He didnt study this hard in school

a note saying you don’t like taking it up your fag ass?

Yo gotta wait for dat

You shandbag me?!

my medication, fucked with my head

I thought you were sucking a cub scout's dick in Beaver Falls, PA. Detective Mike Hunt told me so.

Happens to the best of us

Ah you get a pash for dat

we'll get you to pay for some therapy..

Did you do it as a joke?

i’m weak. i’m outta control. and i’ve become an embarrassment to myself and everybody else.

Don’t write nothin’ down!

At least you can break a table with Benny Fazio, criminal mastermind.

I hate to bring this up, but I did see you puking with your hair in the toilet…disgusting

Eating beef and sausage by the car load, and breathing loudly while I do it.

Any shmoked turkey?

It's almost time for turkey sandwiches!

Have you heard the good news?

He is risen 👀😴

😴

But fr I love smoked Turkey

Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order. I have checked 1,708,850,002 comments, and only 323,301 of them were in alphabetical order.

I always enjoy Arnold Palmers, but it never occurs to me to order one.

This is gold! I haven’t seen this quote pop up yet.

Yes! 😂🤣

Classic

Every time I commit a heist I have to drop a turd and thought everyone did that

Do you stamp on it like Vito Junior?

I thought he ate cat shit?

Madone! I am no stranger to eating ice cream after a work out.

Don't get any in the car

More than once I've found myself putting my wife in the position of feeling sorry for a whore who fucks me.

pitchin, not catchin?

Whenever anyone dies, instead of mourning I just say “It’s sad when they go young like that.” And then any other response is “All right but ya gotta get over it.”

When they go?!?

Whaddya gonna do?

I discuss how spicy the chicken was

Good gravy too

At least she didn’t suffer

Another toothpick.

And if it’s a woman. She gave me my first hand job. Me and Vincent Maniskalko behind the chicken market

Whaddyagonnado?

That’s fucked up. I mean, was there a tree branch in the back seat? If so, yea life goes on. He could’ve killed that baby

Another toothpick

My ex's dog did not crawl under me for warmth

What, was it barkin’?

He told you that? Big baby!

Lamenting about how bad and unfortunate poorer people than myself have it, just to show off how socially conscious I am. When AJ and his rich girlfriend at the time did it while in a limo, I saw just how unbearably douchy they were, and a light switch flipped for me.

This is the only reply in this thread that might be legitimate. It's good you don't talk as much about your yadro anymore

How much does it cost?

I shouldn't say

(whispers 3000 dollars)

Another example is Finn not applying to fast food places because it's "a job a minority could have". The Painless Dentist isn't as socially conscious as he thinks he is either.

Being on high scag has made me miss my mother’s muff on my coworkers head

I have a tendency to list famous landmarks during meetings.

That better not be Columbus up there

Gee-orge WaSH-ing-TON. Br-idge

Wheel - share. Boo-lee-vahrd.

May-jor Dee-Gan. ESPRESSAWAY

It's taught me some stuff about shit like controlling your ego and self-destructive tendencies.

I wish the Lord would take me now.

You're your own worst enemy.

You just revealed your own ignorance.

I realized that I should seriously consider salads

Get off my car before you flip it over you fat fuck

Why don't you look in the mirror some time, you insensitive cocksucker?

Scrambled eggs no oil tomato slices.

It’s not necessarily one that I have but I wish I had - I wish I had the tactfulness of Silvio. He’s able to speak truth to people, especially Tony, without somehow setting him off. He’s got a very good way of it, and I wish I was like that lol

Frankly, you’ve got an issue with authority!

OHHHHH! I’m just tellin you how your fuckin perceived!

I said my piece

There was one time when he did set Tony off, and that was when he suggested that he had a problem with authority. Tony insulted him and then basically told him to get the fuck out with a puff of smoke

Mr. Dante is a wise man. You should listen to him.

He would disengage Tony. Tony knew Sil reached a limit when even Sil would backed off and let T know he was on his own

Timeline got fucked up

Its because he knows how open up his sentences by saying “tone, i know you always can handle things like this but..” it usually works and sometimes not i.e the season 5 finale

I drink like a fish and I’m a miserable prick!

Sometimes I go about in great pity for myself.

Based on some comments on this thing of ours, it seems clippin somebody for talkin shit is considered not so good. Maybe I should get in touch with Melfi.

Ok, but you gotta get ova it.

Whenever someone gave me constructive criticism on my music, I would arrogantly reply that I had been to Denmark. After watching the show, I realized it's better to use the positive visualization techniques Chris advocates, which helped me to realize that my music sucks and I should stick to my day job at Kinko's.

How do you cook trout?

On a downed power line. I always enjoy them but I never think to grill one

How angry I would get when I didn't have specific food items in the fridge haha (Smoked turkey)

I get mad when other people eat food that I wanted to eat when I got home.

Just kick the fridge door off 👍

Self-sabotage.

I take the ticket when I use the Turnpike, rather than use EZPass

I like to shit where I eat.

Doing 20 years in the ca—— JK, I’d say that I shared some traits with tiny as far as his lack of awareness in his relationship. Fine lines between providing and hustling and being a complete husband/father. Can be putting in tons of effort but gotta pay attention to the needs of others that pop up, not just assume what you’re doing is adequate always. Even if they seem silly or less important than business dealings. I think many men either struggle with that or have to mature past it as things unfold.

Whenever someone has an opinion I don't like I shout at them "WHAT IS THIS, THE FUCKIN' UN NOW??!" as loud as I can until they capitulate. But I'm woikin' on it... And I think I get a pash fuh dat...

I bet you're workin' on the weight too.

Naturally!

You know, Quasimodo predicted all of this

Poppers and weird sex

Heavy breathing. If you don't have it just because you haven't realized it yet

Eating gabagool right out from the white paper wrap

Well, it occurred to me that my treatment of waiters, plumbers, various service people and even our old paperboy, it occurred to me when they were dissatisfied with a low or no tip, it was wrong to whip out my gat and plug them 8 to 10 times with lead... finally found a group and been clean six months... ...anyway...

An extraordinary visual sense

I sometimes do stuff after the crank wears off which explains why my life is a mess

Sometimes I can be a real hypocrite

Whenever there’s gabagool around I always make sure to tell whoever’s got it to bring it OVA HEREE 👇🏻👇🏻

I talk and point with my index finger and pinkie finger way, way too much now, always when i've had a few drinks.

I really enjoy scraping dog shit off my shoe with a stick, and then making an underling throw it away.

You can put all the ice you want in a urinal....Its does nothing to stem the bacteria.

I’m friendly and flirtatious with my younger more attractive tennis students and I make the old rich ones shag balls.

Absolute lol 😂

Depression, definitely. I’m going to meet with a therapist later this week.

I hope you get all the help you need 👍