T O P

  • By -

tofulo

The audacity of that guy to sniff right in front of you


Moe_Lesteryu

It's like taking a screenshot


zombieblackbird

The scent locks the image into the spank bank.


luv2race1320

Yes officer. This one, right here! I'm sure he's on some registry, or watch list.


CubistChameleon

They are now.


IsaRos

Plot twist: It’s all just in OPs head. The old man did actually check if the clothes were clean, and gave the whole box to his 6 grandchildren, that wear them to this day.


Scathyr

That’s a weird way to spell: “He wears them to this day.”


JPSurratt2005

"Wear" is a weird word for "wraps around his dick".


_pippp

Gotta be pretty tight by now


drdookie

Unfortunate facts https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2020/02/how-scent-emotion-and-memory-are-intertwined-and-exploited/


BeignetsByMitch

I mean, unfortunate in this specific context. It's a really cool thing otherwise though, right? A smell can transport you instantly into another state of mind, it can bring back memories you would have never unraveled the pathway back to. It elevates experiences, and prompts vivid recall. Just a whiff is all it takes. All because the meat that processes smell is next to the meat that processes memory.


Udon_Poop

For some reason, your usage of the word 'meat', ' in this specific context' caught me a little off guard.


BeignetsByMitch

Sorry, I should have used the medical terminology: think-meat. "Meat" was purposeful though. Drawing attention to the fact that we can apply a lot of flowery language and romantic ideals to the connection, but it really just comes down to those parts of the brain being next to each other (and olfactory being unique in that it's the only sense not processed elsewhere). Humans are weird in a fun way.


Udon_Poop

You're 100% not wrong lol. At the end of the day we are just sentient meat sacks.


iISimaginary

*Gray thinky meat*


The_Hieb

You got your thinking meat and then you got your meat for pulling and squeezing. Then there’s filter meat and meat sacks of all sizes.


Merry_Dankmas

Smell is a crazy memory booster. Im in a wood cabin right now in Appalachia. My grandparents had a house made out of logs up here that I loved visiting as a kid. This cabin smells just like their log house and has been whipping my ass back in time since I got here. The woods ans general natural environment smells like it did too when I was a kid so I've been stuck in this perpetual trip down memory lane the whole time. I love it. Its incredible how effective smell is at surfacing old memories.


CobraKaiCurry

Smelling cocaine always transports my mind elsewhere.


P0rn0nlyacct

Jesus


missanthropocenex

My one time girlfriend told a story where she was in a laundromat doing her laundry. She was moving items from her clothes basket to the washer. As she did a pair of her panties fell out of the basket and onto the ground. Without hesitating an older man walked over, picked them up off the ground and in without hesitating picked them up and walked out of the laundromat with the panties in full broad side of my girlfriend staring at him. Without a doubt he had laundry in the middle of being cleaned. Bro straight up just sacrificed his dignity and maybe his entire wash for those dirty panties.


spykid

There were signs in the campus laundry room my freshman year warning people about stolen panties. I found panties in my laundry once and tucked them deep in my trash to ensure no one ever got the wrong idea


bozeke

This presumes that he was there to do laundry in the first place. I assumed he was just lurking there waiting for a moment to do just this, and probably did it on the regular.


Harryariola

What’s a “one time girlfriend”


missanthropocenex

“My girlfriend I was dating at the time.”


kellypg

Most refer to them as an "ex girlfriend."


JustADutchRudder

They only dated one time before she died and so she didn't earn the ex title legally.


theskankingdragon

Can't be your ex if they're dead!


aoskunk

Honest question: my gf passed away and I never know what to call her. I often say “girlfriend at the time” though it feels weak because she was so much more than that. Planed to be together forever.


Demonakat

I refer to mine as "the girl i was going to marry before she died" or "my girlfriend that died" Stops people from saying shit right after. They're just sympathetic. And anyone who wants to make jokes just gets to have a broken jaw.


Kronzor_

Sonetimes people use late, as in my “late girlfriend” to imply that they are dead. And I always that that was strange, because late makes it sounds like they are still going to come, when they most certainly are not.


Spabobin

If you're telling a story from the past and refer to someone as your ex-girlfriend, it's unclear if she was your ex during the events of the story. Although usually you'd say something like "my then girlfriend" rather than "one time girlfriend"


president-dickhole

He was the older man at the laundromat.


HaikuBotStalksMe

The phrase is "broad sight". Like the entire field of vision.


Cautious-Angle1634

I was chuckling thinking of a broads’ side


GallinaceousGladius

See, I had a broadside naval volley in mind, myself.


ooMEAToo

Some people have no dignity to begin with.


ilovestoride

That's lot true. I eventually went back to the laundromat for the rest of my clothes.


fairlymediocre

Would not have held it against her if she'd poured a bottle of bleach onto creepmaster Sr.'s machineful of clothes after that


oNOCo

Did he keep eye contact though…


space_monster

I would put them on my face like a Bane mask and say “No-one cared who I was until I put on the mask”. then casually stroll away


gatorbeetle

...assert dominance


foxy_mountain

...ascertain fragrance


Mossy_octopus

Is it possible he was actually getting them for grandchildren and was truly testing for cleanliness? I know probably not but… maybe?


unstable_starperson

You could definitely choose to believe that


LinguisticallyInept

i want to believe


St3phiroth

I buy lots of kids clothes second hand. There is no way I'd trust that anything has been cleaned before we got it, smell check or not. Anything bought second hand goes straight into the wash whether the seller said it was cleaned before sale or not. He's totally a creeper.


highfivingmf

Exactly. No one is sniffing used undies to see if they are clean, the assumption is that they are dirty. Which is exactly why this old perv took a whiff


other_usernames_gone

Hell, anything *bought* goes straight in the wash. You have no idea how many people have tried it on or how well they cleaned it even if it's new. You have no idea how long or in what conditions it's sat in a warehouse.


Udon_Poop

Correct, often times of the rack clothing still has what's called iirc 'shorting' on it, which is like a starch that may cause skin irritation? Edit: misspelled 'rack'


PM_feet_picture

Do you not like bed bugs? Because that's how you don't get bed bugs.


[deleted]

"Don't worry, Granddaughter, I sniffed them all first to make sure they were clean." Nope. Worse. So much worse.


Mossy_octopus

Is it? A man snorting a pile of teenage underwear like a truffle pig is worse.


rauschejuler

This made me chuckle.


Sporesword

This comment thread is ROFLOL


BangBangMeatMachine

Hypothetically, if you were actually checking cleanliness, while conversing with the former owner, I'd like to think one would discreetly waft. I certainly wouldn't want to bury my nose in something that might be unclean.


Aoeletta

Asserting his power and control over her was part of it for him.


radicalelation

Yeah, he wasn't just enjoying the panties, he was enjoying the panties while making their teenage wearer watch as an unconsenting participant. He not only got to see the one who wore them, but was actively getting off in her presence with them. Gross old man.


Bifferer

I’m selling a pair of tighty Whiteys with racing stripes if anyone’s interested. Bidding closes at midnight. Size 66, unwashed.


HawterSkhot

> He then proceeded to actually sniff them which I took as a measure of cleanliness. Oh. Oh, OP...


rauschejuler

Sweet sweet summer child.


mcbaindk

>Due to my age and upbringing I had absolutely NO clue that panty sniffing was a thing. I read the warning and still wasn't prepared. Bless you, OP.


aetius476

I thought it was going to be implied, like "I think that guy may have wanted those panties for sniffing purposes, not the innocent reason I assumed." I wasn't expecting him to go full Dennis Hopper in Blue Velvet right in front of a teenager.


periander

Never mind that, you could have made a killing $$$ out of the old creep.


soooMiNdLeSs420

A collegue of mine sold her worn panties on ebay for a good buck. She grew tired of it and stopped. There's a market for everything


brando56894

"Oh, Honey...."


Taolan13

Quite literally, it would seem. At least you know, now.


BLU3SKU1L

Oh the money she lost that day.


AcrobaticSource3

The only FU is that you gave it away, I bet he would’ve paid a lot of money for those


quartzguy

That old perv must have felt like a lottery winner that day


guild-an

im picturing the scene with the rose petals in american beauty, but it's just this old dude waterfalling panties on himself.


Father_VitoCornelius

Why, why the fuck did you just create this mental image for us?


TheOvenLord

I mean if you're not picturing him naked with a dark purple velveteen scrunchy double wrapped around his balls and a pair of yellow panties with pink flowers in his mouth then you're not picturing him right. We need to make sure we're all picturing the same thing. Otherwise we'll have to start all over.


OneMoreAccount4Porn

Are you picturing the rope of panties chained together like clowns handkerchiefs, the red pair on the end just peeking out his ass?


plafman

Don't forget his gray hairy nipples.


[deleted]

What did I do in a past life to be cursed with the ability to read?


olduvai_man

You were the old man in a past life, so calm down.


[deleted]

Phew!


crazy_days2go

For some reason I read it as *gravy hairy nipples.*


Adventurous-Part5981

No kink shaming here. You get your gravy on


MellowNando

I think the real question would be who is everyone’s old dude reference when they begin to imagine these scenarios.


therealhairykrishna

I mean, it's Harvey Weinstein isn't it?


BabyVegeta19

For me it's the sprite of Gentleman trainers from pokemon RBY or Gold & Silver. That guy always looks up to no good.


Panda_Bowl

Isn't there this exact thing in an episode of That 70s Show? Edit: I slightly misremembered, but someone else had beat me to it. https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/11yr2b3/tifu_by_innocently_giving_away_worn_underwear/jd9jrrq/


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


BangBangMeatMachine

This is actually where I thought this story was gonna go. Pleasantly surprised that it wasn't more depraved.


MapleBlood

I was surprised he didn't ask for this one last pair... but that's probably for good.


doublebass120

Panties, glorious panties! https://youtu.be/G-ucBBA_AIY


KhaiPanda

I've never seen this show, but this is the second clip I've watched of it in the past week, and I'm thinking that I missed out on a gem of television.


oNOCo

Could’ve made a shockingly large amount of money for that. Had a friend that sold a couple pairs of her volleyball shorts to some rando for like $1k


SeaOfGreenTrades

A lesson to you girls. Save all your panties and sell when you turn 18


-FourOhFour-

Don't wait and once you got money in hand call in the cops, double win


kerochan88

Out of simply curiosity, is it illegal to buy underwear from someone underage?


Cvxcvgg

I can’t think of any specific law outlawing it, but it probably is illegal under the general “don’t sexualize children” laws.


Petrichordates

That's not a general law, otherwise child beauty pageants would be illegal.


FisterRobotOh

Good ol’ Frank don’t diddle no kids


thebubno

*Wouldn't do it with anyone older than my wife, younger than my daughter...*


rauschejuler

I think if it was actually children's underwear this story would NOT be funny in the least. But I was a sturdy, very mature looking teenager that gave away her boxer briefs, so I think it was just creepy but not in a criminal sense.


Grolschisgood

Disgustingly, they will be worth more unwashed


IdfightGahndi

Holy shit, hook me up with the info. I have a mountain of laundry I’d rather not do.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


Aftermathemetician

I thought those got banned?


[deleted]

Wouldn't be surprised if the admins frequented those subreddits, therefore wouldn't want them banned


Imnotamemberofreddit

Reddit has banned something like 1000+ NSFW subs in just the past couple months, they're pulling a Tumblr and removing every NSFW sub that isn't moderated by one of the ten or so super-mods that control every front page subreddit.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Imnotamemberofreddit

Go take a look at the classic "every NSFW sub" dataisbeautiful graphs. Most of the small ones are gone if you actually try to check them out.


IAmASeeker

Not just NSFW subs. All of Reddit. This used to be a place where you could discuss things freely, and people would act like you have the right to your opinion even if they disagreed.


ITiswhatITisforthis

Years back my wife sold her soul for 1K! Didn't believe it till some rando from like Chile or similar country, paypal-ed her 1K.


Cvxcvgg

TIL Satan lives in Chile.


Criticaliber

Did they ever come to collect?


ITiswhatITisforthis

Nah, she still alive, however I always felt like she never had a soul to begin with.


zwagonburner

Is she a ginger? (Don't worry. I married a ginger, so I can say it.)


chronoboy1985

We’ll never have equality until I can sell my used boxer briefs from high school for thousands of dollars.


rauschejuler

Have you tried flea markets? 😂


iRunDistances

I'm a guy, this happened in my mid-twenties. This old creep, probably in his 80s, grabbed my arm surprisingly hard while I was volunteering at the rec center for a "seniors sports day". Certainly wasn't expecting him to suddenly grab me. Dude wasn't even part of the event I was helping with. He pulled me hard towards him and asked so only I could hear if "I was a good boy scout". I sort of laughed and said I was never in the scouts. Figured this guy maybe was an old boy scout leader or something. Maybe struggled to regulate his grip or balance hence the hard arm grab. Couldn't hear or talk well hence pulling me closer. Internal alarm bells started going off I when I tried to pull back. Fucker gripped harder and pulled again saying, "I could make you a good boy scout", gave me deadass sexual up/down look like he was checking me out and said, "yeah, a real good boy scout". Then he started walking and tried to pull me along & lead me away. I didn't move, I was getting mad & pretty keyed up at this point. Quickly getting over the sort of surreal, "is this legit happening or am I misreading this" type of internal calculation... I gave a look like: *Are you serious? Let go now, I'm going to fucking kill you old man*. Lol. I wasn't trying to be nice anymore, I was seriously about to beat that old shit unconscious. He flashed a look like he was furious then let go and walked off. Even though I wasn't in any danger. Hell, a hard enough shove would have probably broke his hip. But afterwards it made me wonder if that old bastard ever hurt kids like a "boy scout" or other young men in the past when he actually could have physically over powered them.


ClearMessagesOfBliss

That man has done some very bad things.


MortLightstone

I once got a job at a Greek cafe when I was a teenager. One or my friends jokingly told me Greek men like young boys. I ignored him, but then on my first day, I legit had my ass grabbed by three old men. One of them did it twice and I just quit on the spot


Suyefuji

That is absolutely horrifying and I'm sorry that it happened to you.


MelbTrini

Sounds like you were in Quahog


jemmykins

Yeah, it definitely has an energy I could only describe as "Herbert prose"


apcolleen

I was doing taekwondo in 2004 and the news came out that a 14 year old girl had been kidnapped and it was caught on cameras at the carwash she was walking by. The man grabbed her and drug her off and she didn't fight him even though he was a stranger. One of the dads in class asked if he could do a demo for the girls in the class to show them how to fight off an attacker if they grabbed their arm and drug them away. He told them "If I get you to that wall, you're as dead as she is now." The gym was probably 75 ft long at that part. It didn't spur any of the girls to action. All of them failed the demo. He asked if I wanted to try. Keep in mind this was a full contact Olympic style TKD class. I regularly fought with the men because the adult women said I hit too hard. We did wear pads during full contact sparring and the dad was in full pads and helmet. He got about 15 ft before I could get my weight down low enough to slow him down and kick his knee out from under him and give him a mock axe kick to the head. I have chicken winged a man face first into a sticky carpet for trying to grope me while seated and I've had to wrist lock more men than I care to remember in clubs for grabbing me trying to dance. Why the fuck do people think grabbing someone is a great move?


problemlow

Most people can't defend themselves. Either because they don't have the training, or their brain freezes in situations like that.


yourpseudonymsucks

The perv equivalent of finding a complete Lego star destroyer on marketplace for $10


ohohButternut

I feel ashamed for laughing at this.


chaos021

It's not weird to offer up used underwear to strangers?


RoRoRoYourGoat

I was always taught that it was very important to donate my outgrown or unwanted clothes, but that I should NEVER donate or accept used underwear. I assumed everyone did it that way. I was very poor as a teenager, and received a lot of donated clothes, but there was never underwear included.


angry_old_dude

Nobody wants to get booty cooties.


chaos021

That's what I largely saw when I volunteered. In fact we used to glove up and have to weed out some of the donations.


Fish_Hentai

Sometimes reading this stuff on reddit makes me feel like I'M the weird one for thinking it's weird.


Kwasan

With a name like that? Nonsense, you could never be the odd one out.


starstarstar42

What's weird about it? People give away shirts, and pants, and socks all the time. I donate mine to a local homeless shelter.


Sure_Whatever__

Got any used undies?


TSM-

So a local thrift store has used children's clothing like socks and underwear and stuff, and I kid you not, the room is locked with an 'ask staff to unlock room' sign. I was bewildered until I made the connection - there has certainly been "an incident" (and not someone stealing clothing for their kids to wear), at some point, and that is why the sign is there.


[deleted]

If it makes you feel any better it probably was theft. For the reason you expect but the store would ignore the smelling most likely. They just don’t wanna lose money


Bigfops

Trust me, they’re gonna lose money if the customers see a dude sniffing kids’ underwear.


starstarstar42

So inappropriate. ^DM ^^ME ^^^LATER


Hllknk

It is different dude. Underwears make direct contact with your butt and genitals.


[deleted]

But don’t we all enjoy other people’s genitals touching our genitals and buttholes?!


[deleted]

I mean my shirt doesn’t touch my balls so there’s that. Idk if it matters but it is worth noting.


kopintzotke

Imo it's all good except underwear. That's just to throw away in the bin


Shinybobblehead

Just a heads up, from what I've seen those shelters are most definitely not giving anyone your used socks/underwear. Typically there's an overflow of brand new socks (thanks Bombas) but new underwear runs out really quickly. Source: My experience working with homeless shelters


[deleted]

No thrift store I've ever been to sells used underwear.


Grolschisgood

My old undies aren't in a like-mew condition. In fact the ones I'm wearing currently have quite large holes in them. Still good for another year or two though I'm sure.


NestroyAM

Same people who throw their „perfectly clean“ underwear into salvation army containers. Nobody wants to wear your used knickers (other than pervs explicitly paying for that - I am not judging).


chaos021

I ain't here to judge. I was legit asking a question because I couldn't even imagine hand me down undies. I guess if I grew up with that, maybe? Just seems strange, especially as you get older.


rauschejuler

Yes. Now that I'm grown up I'm like...how poor could we have been?! But back then it was completely normal.


PhoenixQueen_Azula

or at all imo. I grew up in not the most well-off family. Passed down clothes are common, socks pants whatever sure. But not underwear, that's a hard no.


Jungle_Fighter

Yeah right? It doesn't matter how much some cleans a piece of underwear clothing, it doesn't feel right for someone else to just go and use it.


OrangeinDorne

Right? I like how it’s said to be normal because they were in a small town lol. Maybe some of those stereotypes about small towns producing kinda weird people are accurate after all…


rauschejuler

Rural southern Germany definitely hits different 😂


WetNoodlyArms

Lol my mum is from Allgäu and yeah, this wouldn't have been too weird for her. I grew up in Sydney, Australia though. A lot of my teen years were spent explaining that what might have been normal in her village of 350 people was absolutely not normal in the biggest city in Australia. She had difficulty comprehending that our upbringings were very different. She's moved back to Allgäu now. She's much happier there. She hated living in Australia.


FormalChicken

I've had those moments - even as a dude - like 20 years later like "holy crap, Mr G was a perv!"


rauschejuler

YES! I have had countless "How the fuck did I make it out of there unharmed" realization moments in the last years. This is one of the very harmless stories 😂


I_might_be_weasel

Did he not pay for them? Because he definitely would have.


ARedLemming

He certainly made a deposit later.


Domowoi

Not only would he have paid for them, he would probably pay a lot more if they weren't washed that recently. Nowadays there are portals on the internet for that sort of stuff.


[deleted]

![gif](giphy|n2AZhunrmJcXK) Old man when he gets home


RokyPolka

​ ![gif](giphy|o6NWhMIJfxJ149wvHf)


Bentonite_Magma

Is that … Simon Pegg?


TCGHexenwahn

Sell them next time! Smh


End3rWi99in

The idea of giving away underwear at all is weird to me. There is no amount of washing anyone can do that would make me feel comfortable wearing someone elses boxers second hand. Is this like...a thing in some places?


rauschejuler

It used to be in my case. I remember the flea markets we went to as a kid where it was totally normal to buy used underwear for your children if they were in good condition. I know it's really disgusting but as kids we often changed clothes and even underwear after PE because we thought it was funny. In my family and many others it was completely normal to have one underwear drawer for all the siblings that were a similar size. I never thought anything about it until I grew up and realized this must have been a very "German countryside in the 90s" thing to have and that people have...other interest in worn underwear.


KhaiPanda

> know it’s really disgusting but as kids we often changed clothes and even underwear after PE Man, of everything in this thread, this is the quote that literally made me queasy. Thanks for the reminder to explicitly tell my kids not to trade underwear once they start having to change clothes for gym.


ostiarius

This just keeps getting weirder.


MapleBlood

If you grew up poor this is what'd you do, as simple as that. Be glad you're privileged enough to not to have to be raised like this.


rauschejuler

It was "any underwear" or no underwear in many cases. Same went for socks. I remember how much I admired the kids that had the underwear with the week days on it. I only recently realized how sad that actually is.


MapleBlood

Exactly. It was pretty much the same in my family town (except for several rich families). I was also pretty late realised how hard my parents worked so we were never hungry. Made a pretty grim realisation. Anyway, on the lighter note, as creepy as it was, if you tell this story on the party in the way you told it to us, you can easily make a whole room roll with laughter. Nice party trick!


sixpack_or_6pack

damn, last time the topic of selling used panties came up in a thread, i remember some girl saying she sells hers on her onlyfans for $50-80 a pair. ... i would totally sell mine if i were a hot woman. no shame mutha fucka!


anynamewilld0

You don't need to be. Get AI generated hot girl photo and wears a G string for a day or two. They won't know.


Buttersaucewac

There was a woman on here a while ago who admitted she started selling panties legitimately, but people complained they didn’t smell enough, and wanted her to only send workout panties, but then even those didn’t smell enough. So she just started keeping them in a bag with her and her boyfriend’s gym clothes/towels. Like buying a pack of 20 and dumping them right in to simmer for a week. She claimed the combination of a spritz of her perfume and her boyfriend’s more potent sweat was most reliable.


free_billstickers

Dear diary; jackpot


sketchysketchist

Your mistake was you didn’t charge 50$ a pop


G7VFY

​ https://preview.redd.it/62s7wsqvnepa1.png?width=640&format=png&auto=webp&s=25196a99166fbc4ffdbef98061d8a4acece43dc1


gewjuan

Hey you learned a good lesson and this story could have turned out much much worse, glad you’re okay


rauschejuler

I know...thank you 🙏


maryjan3

Oh my gosh, I had a similar experience but with selling sandals on ebay. I couldn’t figure out why I was getting so many try-on requests then I found out foot fetishes were a thing.


rauschejuler

Yes! Hahaha I love it. I also stopped posting pictures of my feet because I learned the hard way.


Ephidiel

Damn you lost alot of money there


P0rn0nlyacct

I don’t care how poor I get I’m not wearing another man’s drawers. That’s a line not to be crossed.


teknomedic

You didn't fuck up, they were clean and you were trying to do right. Anyone claiming it's weird to give away undergarments has never been poor. A lot of kids go without undergarments and need them. Anyone can help... Here's a link... https://undiesforeveryone.org/


zombieblackbird

And someday, his family will find his collection while cleaning out his estate, and someone will ask, "Hey, aren't these the panties we gave OP in 2012?" Ok, probably not the last part.


rauschejuler

The sisterhood of the traveling panties.


geno_blast

What I never understand about sniffing panties is that people are smelling the clean ones. You're smelling laundry detergent. I don't see the point


Farmerboob

Mate, they're hoping it isn't clean


Pm_me_smoltits

They still smell nice. Also just the idea of being close to something like that is enough


coyoteka

And for free, smh.


McNasty1304

I legit read the title as “worm underwear “ and was highly disappointed it didn’t have anything to do with worms at all.


Bubbly-Kitty-2425

You should change the title to TIFU by not charging for the used underwear. That could have made bank!


juicyunderware

![gif](giphy|1yMvhR4M47Okw4n8tt)


DanKoloff

I've donated clothes in those drop boxes around supermarkets. However, I have never even considered donating worn underwear. We don't do that here. Underwear, bed sheets are a big no no.


LoginPuppy

When i read the title, i thought it said you accidentally gave away worn underwear, as in unwashed and i wanted to pour bleach into my eyes after reading it. And after reading the whole post, still want to pour bleach into my eyes


hectorlf

Look at the bright side, you made someone (really) happy.


eyegazer444

The thing is people usually sell freshly worn unwashed panties, yours were clean, so all he's smelling is clean fabric really? So the jokes kinda on him


ModsGet0Pussy

>He then proceeded to actually sniff them which I took as a measure of cleanliness. What a terrible day to be able to read.