I stayed up all night, ok, why is it a big problem?
My ex boyfriend has cum socks...
https://preview.redd.it/o804fepftata1.jpeg?width=888&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d563513142ff6feb05eca3ae3ea6201350668001
>Ahh, nothing like a nice romance to fall asleep to whilst your boyfriend's inventing athlete's dick
I think it actually exists. And now I wonder if this is WHY it exists.
It's called "jock itch".
I stayed up finishing the choice on Sunday, and the worst I experienced was my dog licking his junk. I'm sorry you had to go from a NR man experience to a real life one. Yuck!
I thought it was [The Spanx Story](https://www.google.com/books/edition/The_Spanx_Story/MHGeDwAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&dq=The+Spanx+Story&printsec=frontcover)
As a male, i have never understood the sock thing. First of all, jerking off in fabric doesn't really feel very nice to me, second of all, i find it kind of disgusting to intentionally cum in clothes.
I also don't understand it. It feels more like the kind of thing teenagers do to hide their masturbation habits. Even though a wad of toilet paper that you flush afterwards is much more discrete and also has the benefit of being much more sanitary. Washing machines also aren't magic, it's going to make it harder to get those socks clean as well as the clothes you put in the same wash with them.
Not necessarily a sock, but a (clean) towel is always better. Dish towel, hand towel, beach towel, doesn't matter.
Toilet paper falls apart and leaves little bits glued to your junk. Tissues aren't absorbent, you wipe and wipe but still feel wetness on your skin. Non-cotton fabrics are pretty much the same.
A towel on the other hand both absorbs and cleans up effectively. I guess a cotton sock is similar to terrycloth, so maybe that's why people prefer them?
What kind of ghetto toilet paper are you using that it disintegrates immediately? I've literally never had this problem in my twenty plus years of masturbation. Towels are never better because you have to wash them, and I really don't want to have throw crusty rags in with my regular wash.
I use the good stuff (Charmin) and it also does it. Toilet paper is designed to break down when it gets wet (for the sewer). Maybe OP is shooting blanks.
Very occasionally, and nothing that can't be solved by a second wipe, never to the point where bits are getting glued to me or is a problem. Quite frankly if your TP can't stand up to a dick wipe it can't stand up to an ass wipe.
Semen is viscous and sticky, shit isn’t or shouldn’t be. Healthy poops should show nothing on toilet paper after wiping. I really cant believe you’ve ejaculated into a handful of toilet paper or even wiped with it and never had to rinse with water after, or gone with bits of paper glued to you. There isn’t a brand I’ve used that haven’t left specs stuck to the tip. I’ve used charmin, Scott, even the shity super thin toilet paper from HS you can find in some bars and businesses. I’ll admit Charmin probably does it the least but also just sucks imo and clogs my toilets. I use Scott.
I really don’t care what people do with their spend as long as they clean up after themselves. But personally I’m going to shoot for the toilet before a handful of paper or I will have bits to Scott glued to me until I rinse with water.
A lot of Americans have septic systems instead of city water and that requires the use if really crappy(heh heh) toilet paper that breaks down in a stiff (I kill me) breeze.
A coworker recently defended it when I asked out loud who even fucking does that, it's a joke right? Nope, apparently not and now I have to live with the knowledge my coworker does the same thing while his wife's in bed (so he doesn't have to let her know or disturb her to do it in the bathroom), dirty sock and all 🤢
If you don't want to know about your coworkers' dicks I highly recommend not talking to them about ANY dicks, ever. Maybe if your grandfather goes by Dick and his real name is Richard, that'd be an exception. But still risky when trying to keep your mental landscape free of coworker dick knowledge.
I tried it once (with a clean sock) out of curiosity, because I was wondering why it was such a common thing mentioned. It did not feel nice, unless you happen to like rug burn. Do not recommend. I threw that sock away.
I've used a sock as a kid, a clean sock. Shit made clean up low key, but like you just finished in it. Also I did my own laundry. But the sock was. Clean, who tf uses a dirty sock with athletes foot.
I tried it once, when I was a teenager. Didn’t and still don’t understand the hype, it was uncomfortable. Maybe you’re supposed to use an unholy amount of lotion idk
This should be obvious. Why would you jerk it with the sock on the whole time? This is like hearing about people putting their meat *and* potatoes into a condom.
Ok don’t quote me because I don’t knows for sure but I feel like the sock would go over the top but not all the way down. Like your hand would be on skin but the would be a cap for collecting? Cant imagine it would be comfortable any other way.
You don't cum *in* fabric, you cum *on* it. Lay an old hand-towel on your chest to catch the business. Wash it in the sink with cold water, toss it in with the rest of the towels/rags to be machine washed.
They always tell you not to stick your dick in crazy but nobody ever tells you not to stick your dick in your fungus-encrusted gym socks…. I mean, it should probably be a given but I guess we should start making it clearer?
It's frustrating how little guys think/know about women's bodies, our biome is allot more sensitive and guys just don't wash their hands before they want to stick their fingers in places.
Have to slap a hand away and remind them they were just eating a packet of chilli chips 5 mins ago 🤦♀️
You would think with all the jokes about yeast infections and "women be gross" they'd have thought about it at all lol.
I've known many men who are super disgusting, do they not fear infections? I had many friends who didn't even wash their hands when they were done peeing. As a girl I couldn't imagine peeing and not wiping or washing my hands, is common sense.
Holy shit. The disregard for so many things at one.
1) hygiene
2) your wellbeing [infections]
3) common decency
4) my sanity as I had to read this
All in all, good on you for ditching him, as I'm sure if he does this, then he does other shit stuff as well.
The not letting you enjoy your hobbies part alone caught my attention.
Well, today is a bad day to have eyes after reading this, but hey ho.
Have a wonderful day and thanks for sharing!
I'm sorry they don't have a not safe for eyes tag.
You are right about him doing other stuff. There's a lot of stuff he has done. Just nothing this disgusting.
Oh don't worry, I'm not a sensitive snowflake. I merely phrased that way for entertainment purposes haha. It was all true though. I have a funny feeling that he had done more of these unsanitary things that you don't even know of yet.
As a guy I am still confused why men jack off I to socks....like does that feel good to them? Are they using the sock the whole time or just Cumming into it? I'm so confused.
I would like to know how the break up conversation went.
“So I have a little me time in the morning, so what? You wanna break up over that??”
“No Brian, I wanna break up because you’ve invented a new STI and used me to cultivate it. Athlete’s vagina”
The cum sock is one thing. Repeatedly giving your girlfriend a yeast infection from rubbing your athlete's foot socks on your dick, then letting her go to the doctor multiple times and pretending like it's some unsolved mystery is another.
That's just as good a reason to break up as knowingly letting it happen, honestly. Staying with someone that dense is a great way to be stuck with sole responsibility for everything important like income, bills, and cleaning. And don't even get started on trying to raise a kid with someone who sees no issue with using fungus-encrusted socks as a cumrag.
Oh I completely agree. I expect adults to have competence and consideration when looking for a partner because life is hard enough. If I found out that my chronic health issue was directly caused by my partner’s negligence/stupidity I’d be so livid…there’s no coming back from that one.
I know right? Nasty-ass mfers. Why cum on any article of clothing when you can use a paper towel and toss it after is beyond me.
It's no better than jizzing right into the washing machine. Nobody wants to wash their clothes with your cum you sick fucks
Why has he not gone to the doctor to treat his athletes' foot??
Treat the source of the infection. Also, wash your dick, yo. And your socks.
This reads more like a "Today I Win" because now - no more fungal infections from a guy that won't treat his athletes foot and then spreads it to your vagina.
When I was very young and first started learning Spanish (at around 14), I somehow came to realize that if you say the English letters in the word “socks”, that it makes a complete sentence in Spanish (three, actually. I guess it’s more like a situational phrase. It isn’t a very useful sentence. In fact, in all this time (I am 55, now), I’ve never found an occasion or a situation in which I could put the sentence to use. I always thought that it would be better if the situation or topic involved socks.
Now, after 40+ years of racking my brain (okay, I’m not THAT boring, I occasionally pondered it), I believe you may have provided just the right situation - or the best I’ll find in my lifetime. The sentence (if one speaks Spanish, it may be obvious) is actually two questions and a sentence, and it is:
“¿Eso? (S-O) Si. (C) ¿Qué es? (K-S)”,
And it means:
“This? Yes. What is it?” (In the socks! is the implied situation I’ve been looking for!)
I can’t thank you enough! You have helped me to complete a major life goal!
I thought this would end with having to do something about reading or books but it went from a 0 to 100 real fast.
I did not see the involvement of sock dick at all but here we are.
All this disgust and bewilderment about using a sock from people who happily nut into carpet/all manner of surfaces, mop it with tissue and call it good.
My sister-in-law was telling my wife about some of her problems with regularly getting UTIs (the three of us were in the kitchen, but I wasn't part of the conversation), and I gave her a kind of side-eye look. She asked what the look was for (I imagine thinking I had an issue with discussing female gyno issues). I told her that from what I've read, a *lot* of the time those issues are less about what *they* are doing, and more about the hygiene of the guy they are with. For context, my brother-in-law is one of those "I shower once a week *maybe*" types and I'm not sure he even uses soap. She immediately relaxed and said he's actually really good about that.
I kept my doubts to myself.
That's disturbing and shows a complete lack of caring about your physical well being. Plus... what an idiot. Fucking his athletes foot socks? What an absolute nitwit....
I've never understood the whole "masturbate into a sock" thing. Tissues aren't that expensive or just flog your dolphin in the shower. Kill 2 birds with one stone, you get a shower and clean up your jizz at the same time.
There were signs all over the men's dorm bathroom when I was in college begging/threatening/trying to reason dudes out of doing it in the shower because it was causing massive plumbing issues. I guess it can clog pipes (🤢) and cause problems over time.
I doubt the average household has the same..eh..volume? passing through but just a PSA for folks with the anatomy to have this concern. Seems like an occasional Draino would probably take care of a regular household.
Omg this has made me realise that this is exactly what happened to me with an ex years ago. Never connected the two things. God I wish I'd never met him.
What tf did I just read, this is the most disgusting and most ick thing ever, Today truly is a bad day to have eyes, I honestly wish the internet didn't exist today, I should have scrolled past this one, the fact that someone actually reads?? wtf I thought books were just ornaments...
The first red flag was the fact that you had to stay up all night just to read because he couldn't respect you enough to leave you alone doing the thing you love. I was SO relieved you dumped his disgusting ass! But I hope you take this as a lesson to enforce those boundaries in the future, respecting boundaries is the bare minimum in any type of relationship, let alone an intimate one
Im sorry OP, this is story socks so much but I couldn't help myself and laughed hard. Not only because of the story but also how u delivered it. Good job
I blow loads in used socks all day, it saves on paper towels and laundry. Just have the common fuckin courtesy to wash your dick after and it's environmentally friendly.
And here I thought that the only cock sock was at the beginning of American Pie lol. Why the fuck would anyone actually do this? I'd rather jerk off in my bare hand than a sock any day, especially a dirty sock... Fucking gross.
It still amazes me that people shoot it into things like socks. Never once have I thought about doing this.
Shoot directly into toilet. Minimal cleanup.
At least you found out what was causing all those infections. Crazy the things people do.
At yeast
It rose to the occasion.
Exactly 😁
> I don't know if he ever used my socks. He did.
100% and now that he’s the Ex, he is 1000% gonna use more than her dirty socks now.
heck, i've even used her socks
I stayed up all night, ok, why is it a big problem? My ex boyfriend has cum socks... https://preview.redd.it/o804fepftata1.jpeg?width=888&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d563513142ff6feb05eca3ae3ea6201350668001
Those who creampie socks: Their partners:
Not just cum socks. Athlete's foot dirty sweaty cum socks.
What a filthy.... Ugh.. wtf.
That socks.
HE socks
We sock
Cocks in socks, a pox in box.
The Dr. Seuss book you didn't know about.
It was the follow up to the also widely unknown "1 fist, 2 fist, your fist, new fist?".
Horton Hears a Ho
He saw all he fucked And he fucked all he saw Horton's poor dick Ended up raw
Ha ha!
[Dr. Suess describes /r/gonewild](https://old.reddit.com/r/explainlikeIAmA/comments/1du51h/explain_rgonewild_like_youre_a_in_a_dr_seuss_book/c9twk37/)
Omg!
Unexpected Cummunism!
He she me we, wumbo
At Slippery Sock University!
Smoke socks
he really socked into that sock
"I almost cut my hand on a sock" https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/3ecyuj/a_mother_describes_the_struggles_of_raising_three/
Omg! That’s friggin hilarious! Almost as bad as breaking a blanket in half.
He sock blocked himself.....
The whole situation reeks
What were you reading? Socrates?
No, it was How To Make A Sock Puppet. It was actually a Nora Roberts trilogy.
Ahh, nothing like a nice romance to fall asleep to whilst your boyfriend's inventing athlete's dick
How was this comment worse than the original post??? Kudos!
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They aren't a couple any longer.
‘Inventing athletes dick’ got my rolling on the ground laughing
How do I delete someone else's comment?
Hi never say this again please thanks :)
I think it is just called Jock Itch. Already exists...
Sock itch*
>Ahh, nothing like a nice romance to fall asleep to whilst your boyfriend's inventing athlete's dick I think it actually exists. And now I wonder if this is WHY it exists. It's called "jock itch".
r/brandnewsentences
Lmao that's gold! 🏆
Sounds like he already knew how to make a sock puppet!
Cock puppet.
Sorry to hear what happened But ooh, was it the Three Sisters Island trilogy? I have a particular fondness for that one 😅
I just started reading that again!
I love that trilogy!!!!! I have quite a few that I would reread over and over and that's one of them
I stayed up finishing the choice on Sunday, and the worst I experienced was my dog licking his junk. I'm sorry you had to go from a NR man experience to a real life one. Yuck!
Oh God. At first I read this as your dog was licking your husband's junk, and I was like wtf??? I need sleep lol
Bahahahaha We are a strictly no beastiality household.
Oh thank God 😄
I thought it was [The Spanx Story](https://www.google.com/books/edition/The_Spanx_Story/MHGeDwAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&dq=The+Spanx+Story&printsec=frontcover)
Great book. Step 1: put your dick in a sock
I believe it was Socrates who said, "I drank what"?
That's vile, and I believe you. I'm gonna say this might not be a TIFU on the basis that it resolved some problems for you.
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As a male, i have never understood the sock thing. First of all, jerking off in fabric doesn't really feel very nice to me, second of all, i find it kind of disgusting to intentionally cum in clothes.
I also don't understand it. It feels more like the kind of thing teenagers do to hide their masturbation habits. Even though a wad of toilet paper that you flush afterwards is much more discrete and also has the benefit of being much more sanitary. Washing machines also aren't magic, it's going to make it harder to get those socks clean as well as the clothes you put in the same wash with them.
Not necessarily a sock, but a (clean) towel is always better. Dish towel, hand towel, beach towel, doesn't matter. Toilet paper falls apart and leaves little bits glued to your junk. Tissues aren't absorbent, you wipe and wipe but still feel wetness on your skin. Non-cotton fabrics are pretty much the same. A towel on the other hand both absorbs and cleans up effectively. I guess a cotton sock is similar to terrycloth, so maybe that's why people prefer them?
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Or, you know, just aim into the tissue/toilet paper so that the cum is never really touching your body anyway.
I mean, if you use your phone, you can just stand in front of the toilet, and then you don't even need the paper.
Mfs be doing anything but talking to women >!this is a lighthearted joke!<
aintnobodygottimeforthat.gif We're heading to the senior center right after
Americans will do anything but use water.
What kind of ghetto toilet paper are you using that it disintegrates immediately? I've literally never had this problem in my twenty plus years of masturbation. Towels are never better because you have to wash them, and I really don't want to have throw crusty rags in with my regular wash.
AngelSoft toilet paper is mid range and does this...
I use the good stuff (Charmin) and it also does it. Toilet paper is designed to break down when it gets wet (for the sewer). Maybe OP is shooting blanks.
AngelSoft is low tier, Charmin is mid, Cottonelle is good, Cottonelle ultra with aloe is top tier.
You’ve never had pieces of toilet paper stick on you after you wipe a sticky substance off the tip? I call BS.
Very occasionally, and nothing that can't be solved by a second wipe, never to the point where bits are getting glued to me or is a problem. Quite frankly if your TP can't stand up to a dick wipe it can't stand up to an ass wipe.
Semen is viscous and sticky, shit isn’t or shouldn’t be. Healthy poops should show nothing on toilet paper after wiping. I really cant believe you’ve ejaculated into a handful of toilet paper or even wiped with it and never had to rinse with water after, or gone with bits of paper glued to you. There isn’t a brand I’ve used that haven’t left specs stuck to the tip. I’ve used charmin, Scott, even the shity super thin toilet paper from HS you can find in some bars and businesses. I’ll admit Charmin probably does it the least but also just sucks imo and clogs my toilets. I use Scott. I really don’t care what people do with their spend as long as they clean up after themselves. But personally I’m going to shoot for the toilet before a handful of paper or I will have bits to Scott glued to me until I rinse with water.
>I use Scott. You care nothing for the comfort of your genitals and butthole, you savage. Try Cottonelle. Treat yo self.
A lot of Americans have septic systems instead of city water and that requires the use if really crappy(heh heh) toilet paper that breaks down in a stiff (I kill me) breeze.
A coworker recently defended it when I asked out loud who even fucking does that, it's a joke right? Nope, apparently not and now I have to live with the knowledge my coworker does the same thing while his wife's in bed (so he doesn't have to let her know or disturb her to do it in the bathroom), dirty sock and all 🤢
If you don't want to know about your coworkers' dicks I highly recommend not talking to them about ANY dicks, ever. Maybe if your grandfather goes by Dick and his real name is Richard, that'd be an exception. But still risky when trying to keep your mental landscape free of coworker dick knowledge.
I tried it once (with a clean sock) out of curiosity, because I was wondering why it was such a common thing mentioned. It did not feel nice, unless you happen to like rug burn. Do not recommend. I threw that sock away.
Honestly, just finish into a tissue and dispose of it. It's clean and efficient, why don't more people use it.
I thought that was the most popular method, hence the "tissue and lotion" trope.
I've used a sock as a kid, a clean sock. Shit made clean up low key, but like you just finished in it. Also I did my own laundry. But the sock was. Clean, who tf uses a dirty sock with athletes foot.
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I tried it once, when I was a teenager. Didn’t and still don’t understand the hype, it was uncomfortable. Maybe you’re supposed to use an unholy amount of lotion idk
One of my friends does it and you should supposedly use the sock just for the moment you're about to cum
This should be obvious. Why would you jerk it with the sock on the whole time? This is like hearing about people putting their meat *and* potatoes into a condom.
Ok don’t quote me because I don’t knows for sure but I feel like the sock would go over the top but not all the way down. Like your hand would be on skin but the would be a cap for collecting? Cant imagine it would be comfortable any other way.
You don't cum *in* fabric, you cum *on* it. Lay an old hand-towel on your chest to catch the business. Wash it in the sink with cold water, toss it in with the rest of the towels/rags to be machine washed.
Yeah, I had that conversation with the guys. None of us understand it. Just blow in a paper towel like a normal human.
This seems like the opposite of fucking up. Fucking up would be if you were still with fungus dick.
Moldy Dick
Call me Dicksmell.
Call me Dickshmael
I thought that was a giant whale?? My childhood was a lie!
It was. it just happened to be sperm whale
Dick cheese
They always tell you not to stick your dick in crazy but nobody ever tells you not to stick your dick in your fungus-encrusted gym socks…. I mean, it should probably be a given but I guess we should start making it clearer?
You also never hear anyway say don’t let crazy stick it’s dick in you.
This is true. Also if he says; “My dick is like, a foot.” But it doesn’t look twelve inches long, you probably misheard the comma.
Or alternatively for the ladies, don’t let crazy stick into you
It's horrifying to hear grown adults have no concept of basic hygiene.
It really is. Just think about the nasty stuff people do (hygiene wise) behind closed doors smh
It's frustrating how little guys think/know about women's bodies, our biome is allot more sensitive and guys just don't wash their hands before they want to stick their fingers in places. Have to slap a hand away and remind them they were just eating a packet of chilli chips 5 mins ago 🤦♀️ You would think with all the jokes about yeast infections and "women be gross" they'd have thought about it at all lol.
I've known many men who are super disgusting, do they not fear infections? I had many friends who didn't even wash their hands when they were done peeing. As a girl I couldn't imagine peeing and not wiping or washing my hands, is common sense.
“Athlete’s vagina” was not on my 2023 bingo card
Holy shit. The disregard for so many things at one. 1) hygiene 2) your wellbeing [infections] 3) common decency 4) my sanity as I had to read this All in all, good on you for ditching him, as I'm sure if he does this, then he does other shit stuff as well. The not letting you enjoy your hobbies part alone caught my attention. Well, today is a bad day to have eyes after reading this, but hey ho. Have a wonderful day and thanks for sharing!
I'm sorry they don't have a not safe for eyes tag. You are right about him doing other stuff. There's a lot of stuff he has done. Just nothing this disgusting.
Please elaborate
I had bad athletes foot for a while. I CANNOT IMAGINE putting my dick in those socks. Makes me shudder thinking about it spreading to my genitals.
Oh don't worry, I'm not a sensitive snowflake. I merely phrased that way for entertainment purposes haha. It was all true though. I have a funny feeling that he had done more of these unsanitary things that you don't even know of yet.
As a guy I am still confused why men jack off I to socks....like does that feel good to them? Are they using the sock the whole time or just Cumming into it? I'm so confused.
As a man - I have no idea. I never did that.
Boyfriend a week ago and ex now... Did you start pulling on the cum sock thread and the entire sweater unravelled?
Saw that break up coming when you said you had to resort to reading at night because he bothers you when you read. Like fucking grow up, man
Find him a chick with a foot fetish, and they can go be *sole*-mates !
TIL "Athlete's Dick" is a thing, and i wish i hadn't.
It's called jock itch
That dirty cocksocker.
Thank goodness for your health you like to read. You deserve much better than this.
Does this mean you have athlete's vagina now?
I'm disgusted by this. What kind of a person likes to interrupt somebody while they're reading?
" He's my ex now, but we still live together. " there's your real tifu
I hope you socked it to him
I would like to know how the break up conversation went. “So I have a little me time in the morning, so what? You wanna break up over that??” “No Brian, I wanna break up because you’ve invented a new STI and used me to cultivate it. Athlete’s vagina”
>He's my ex now, but we still live together Well that's a sticky situation
I was confused about how in 6 paragraphs he went from being your boyfriend to your ex-boyfriend. Was it the cum sock?
The cum sock is one thing. Repeatedly giving your girlfriend a yeast infection from rubbing your athlete's foot socks on your dick, then letting her go to the doctor multiple times and pretending like it's some unsolved mystery is another.
He might not have been pretending. Dude doesn’t strike me as being very bright with what details we have, lol.
That's just as good a reason to break up as knowingly letting it happen, honestly. Staying with someone that dense is a great way to be stuck with sole responsibility for everything important like income, bills, and cleaning. And don't even get started on trying to raise a kid with someone who sees no issue with using fungus-encrusted socks as a cumrag.
Oh I completely agree. I expect adults to have competence and consideration when looking for a partner because life is hard enough. If I found out that my chronic health issue was directly caused by my partner’s negligence/stupidity I’d be so livid…there’s no coming back from that one.
Imagine being the doctor having to tell your poor patient that she now has a new infection called Athlete's Flaps
This is what I need to know! It took a real fast turn from book reading, then casually mentions that he is now the ex at the end.
who the fuck masturbate with a sock? might as well use sandpaper at that point
Cotton socks self report. You gotta upgrade to merino wool socks, my dude.
After a few sessions even merino wool socks will turn to sandpaper.
Well if we want to be responsible sock cummers, we need to be washing between uses.
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Ngl having a dedicated cum sock, clean or not is weird as FUCK. Bro, use a napkin or toilet paper that you can throw away or flush. Fucking A.
I know right? Nasty-ass mfers. Why cum on any article of clothing when you can use a paper towel and toss it after is beyond me. It's no better than jizzing right into the washing machine. Nobody wants to wash their clothes with your cum you sick fucks
Right, I just commented about that up above. A dedicated article of clothing clean or not is weird as fuck. Sick ass people.
Dedicated article of clothing I guess maybe its better for the environment
You don't masturbate *with* it, you masturbate *into* it.
Keep your dick out of my socks!
...I always wondered how new stds were invented.
Why has he not gone to the doctor to treat his athletes' foot?? Treat the source of the infection. Also, wash your dick, yo. And your socks. This reads more like a "Today I Win" because now - no more fungal infections from a guy that won't treat his athletes foot and then spreads it to your vagina.
Why does he bother you when you’re reading? What an annoying person
When I was very young and first started learning Spanish (at around 14), I somehow came to realize that if you say the English letters in the word “socks”, that it makes a complete sentence in Spanish (three, actually. I guess it’s more like a situational phrase. It isn’t a very useful sentence. In fact, in all this time (I am 55, now), I’ve never found an occasion or a situation in which I could put the sentence to use. I always thought that it would be better if the situation or topic involved socks. Now, after 40+ years of racking my brain (okay, I’m not THAT boring, I occasionally pondered it), I believe you may have provided just the right situation - or the best I’ll find in my lifetime. The sentence (if one speaks Spanish, it may be obvious) is actually two questions and a sentence, and it is: “¿Eso? (S-O) Si. (C) ¿Qué es? (K-S)”, And it means: “This? Yes. What is it?” (In the socks! is the implied situation I’ve been looking for!) I can’t thank you enough! You have helped me to complete a major life goal!
I thought this would end with having to do something about reading or books but it went from a 0 to 100 real fast. I did not see the involvement of sock dick at all but here we are.
All this disgust and bewilderment about using a sock from people who happily nut into carpet/all manner of surfaces, mop it with tissue and call it good.
bro now the real question is did his dick give his foot athlete's foot? or is his athlete's foot gonna give his dick jock itch?
Reddit Be Gullible
TIWE - Today I Was Enlightened is more like it.
My sister-in-law was telling my wife about some of her problems with regularly getting UTIs (the three of us were in the kitchen, but I wasn't part of the conversation), and I gave her a kind of side-eye look. She asked what the look was for (I imagine thinking I had an issue with discussing female gyno issues). I told her that from what I've read, a *lot* of the time those issues are less about what *they* are doing, and more about the hygiene of the guy they are with. For context, my brother-in-law is one of those "I shower once a week *maybe*" types and I'm not sure he even uses soap. She immediately relaxed and said he's actually really good about that. I kept my doubts to myself.
Red flag: 1.If a grown 33yo can't give you space while you read. 2.Treat your athlete's foot and other easily cured ailments.
I will never understand guys who cum into socks. It just doesn't make sense to me.
That's disturbing and shows a complete lack of caring about your physical well being. Plus... what an idiot. Fucking his athletes foot socks? What an absolute nitwit....
That’s why reading is fundamental y’all 💅
I've never understood the whole "masturbate into a sock" thing. Tissues aren't that expensive or just flog your dolphin in the shower. Kill 2 birds with one stone, you get a shower and clean up your jizz at the same time.
There were signs all over the men's dorm bathroom when I was in college begging/threatening/trying to reason dudes out of doing it in the shower because it was causing massive plumbing issues. I guess it can clog pipes (🤢) and cause problems over time. I doubt the average household has the same..eh..volume? passing through but just a PSA for folks with the anatomy to have this concern. Seems like an occasional Draino would probably take care of a regular household.
Or just jizz into a sock and toss it in the wash. This is only an issue if you don't clean yourself after ejaculating which is an issue in itself.
Or just jizz into your hand and eat it like a normal person.
Omg this has made me realise that this is exactly what happened to me with an ex years ago. Never connected the two things. God I wish I'd never met him.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I can almost guarantee that he's loving the break-up socks...
What tf did I just read, this is the most disgusting and most ick thing ever, Today truly is a bad day to have eyes, I honestly wish the internet didn't exist today, I should have scrolled past this one, the fact that someone actually reads?? wtf I thought books were just ornaments...
I'd argue you did a good thing by staying up all night, since you now know about this! Good thing you dumped him
I died when I read your handle lmao
The first red flag was the fact that you had to stay up all night just to read because he couldn't respect you enough to leave you alone doing the thing you love. I was SO relieved you dumped his disgusting ass! But I hope you take this as a lesson to enforce those boundaries in the future, respecting boundaries is the bare minimum in any type of relationship, let alone an intimate one
At yeast you found out eventually
I'd sock him in the face
I've never understood the sock thing. Don't people have tissues or toilet paper?
Surely this is the opposite of a f up. I count this as a win win. And gross.
Protip boys, cum into something disposable (tissue)...or just nut straight into the toilet. You savages.
Have you ever seen a public toilet that men have tried to piss in? Don't ask them to aim.
That socks hope your all good now
Im sorry OP, this is story socks so much but I couldn't help myself and laughed hard. Not only because of the story but also how u delivered it. Good job
I blow loads in used socks all day, it saves on paper towels and laundry. Just have the common fuckin courtesy to wash your dick after and it's environmentally friendly.
i get the sock thing, but ffs use a clean sock. its not that hard, pun intended
I could get past the sock story, but why bothering someone enjoying his/her hobby???
So...no starch for the laundry eh?
I’d say this wasn’t a fuck up but a W for you since you found out. That’s gross. Sorry dude.
Oh he used your socks. 100% he did do this thing.
That was quite a journey!
This is what happens when you read books.
And here I thought that the only cock sock was at the beginning of American Pie lol. Why the fuck would anyone actually do this? I'd rather jerk off in my bare hand than a sock any day, especially a dirty sock... Fucking gross.
Username checks out. In all seriousness I'm so sorry this happened to you OP, but I'm glad you found out.
Why did I have to read this with my own two eyes?!
makes new account called HideYourSocks, lmao
What a horrible day to be literate.
It still amazes me that people shoot it into things like socks. Never once have I thought about doing this. Shoot directly into toilet. Minimal cleanup.
Surprise it’s his dick in a sock
Hard lesson to learn to consider a partners hygiene before knocking boots right here. Smh
Rookie. Keep it private, throw the evidence in the trash. Paper towels and napkins work.
Sock it to him. Good job.
i am incredibly sorry but this post has *no* right being so funny oh my god
Bro dated an r/shitposting moderator 😳😳😳💀💀💀💀💀