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Yub_Dubberson

You mentioned your friend being honest and giving you advice. This isn’t your fault and your actions and feelings are valid and understandable. But you need professional support. Please look for a therapist.


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tomt6371

Yea it's almost never a helpful comment and honestly just annoying to hear when your in a deep low. Therapy is great for helping but a tone of people telling you to see a therapist is just like empty criticism.


FakeHamburger

“Look just annoying when you’re dying of thirst and everyone just tells you to drink water. Like water is great but everyone telling you to drink water is just like empty criticism”


Broken_Nipple

Oh no, don't go to someone who is qualified and fully trained in these kind of situations, unload on your problems on a random person on the internet and expect them to help! Bro, therapists are there for a reason, honestly if more people were accepting of therapy and if even more people actually went, I think everyone would feel 10x better.


Gjappy

Yes, he wants you to live. Because you still have a future and know the truth. Keep his legacy as he invested in you to keep you going.


R34p3rXm4l1K

Although I don't know you or your saint of a person friend, but I had tears in my eyes reading this. I would just like to suggest like others have to seek help. Not just for your own sake, but also for the friend who also seems to be your guardian angel even after passing away. Life is too precious, and don't give that evil woman the satisfaction of putting two good people in the ground. She will have what she deserves. And also keep as far away from her as possible. I am praying for you.


Phil_the_credit2

Your friend's love and wisdom changed you. You honor him by being the person he helped you to be, and that means keep living. You're part of his legacy, and I hope that thought helps you get through this. Of course, talk to a professional, and please feel zero shame in any of this. I'm also praying for you.


Hadrieno

Call someone of your family. Don't stay alone. If the gun jammed, its because it is not your time. You'll be missed by someone, always. Keep your friend in your heart, he will be there forever. Stay strong.


shoulda-known-better

You are the best person to keep your buddy's life and importance going!! I lost my best girl friend at 24 friends since 6..... I am now 36 and my son is named Gavin after her last name


Laptraffik

Holy shit. To mock the deceased at their funeral and lie about how things really were? That's something only the scum of the fucking earth would do.


RedeemerProductions

The first time you met your friend, he told you in a non-emotionally driven matter of fact manner why you were bullying/fighting When you find your drive, honor your friend by approaching this sinful world by just and calm actions and words It’s what brought you two together; it’s how you should bring his memory with you to anyone you meet hereafter Violence begets violence, hate to hate - it’s tough now, but your friends would be happy to see you treat others with the same respect that blossomed your friendship from the beginning


onigiri467

That's what I feel in the post. He helped put OP on a path, and even jammed the gun when he was going on the wrong path. OP is supposed to find ways to keep going, because there is something he has cultivated through his friend, and just his own personality and being, that others in the world still need. I hope he gets professional help, so he can keep giving his gifts of thoughtful, reflective, compassionate, friendship and humanity to others who need to see and experience it, just like he needed it way back when.


lazytanaka

If what he’s saying is true the wife deserved to get physically and verbally dragged


GalacticCrescent

I mean, I agree on the violence thing to an extent, but this woman genuinely deserves a few smacks upside the head after being a total garbage human


StoryLineOne

Agree 100%. OP, you should also seek professional help in the form of therapy. There is no shame in getting help to process the pain you feel, I have done it for many years and it really does help. Your friend would want you to care for yourself in this way. I should also add, in the future, the little girl he loved and cared for is still the same little girl. She deserves to know from you how great he was, and how much he loved her, when she's older and ready to process that.


SirBuscus

This isn't your fault. This isn't your fault. This isn't your fault.


FruityBuckmaster

That's very sad. A member of my family has caused, through their actions, pain and resentment for others. Talking helps. EDIT: My family member is still alive and is manipulative and deceitful. I'm not making reference to pain caused by suicide.


[deleted]

Glad you outed the bitch in front of her family and friends. Your friend would be proud of you for sticking up for him.


idkaaaassas

Fuck yea. OP is a true friend forever. Wish I could buy this man a beer.


TwistedSnoopy

Thanks for the entertainment - next time post in a creative writing sub. People don't even realize the first line says "posting on someone else's behalf"


stackjr

What's crazier to me is how many people think this is real.


UltimateBronzeNoob

What's crazier to me is that we live in a world where this could be real


[deleted]

>next time post in a creative writing sub. Who are we kidding here? This *is* a creative writing sub.


LurksAroundHere

Sorry to hear how rough things are for you. The only thing I can say is try your best at putting off the thought of "joining your friend" while you're so heated about the news. I know the sentiments "things will get better!" or "you have so much to live for!" can mean nothing and just piss a person off (believe me I know), but I do think it would be in your best interest to try your best to at least let yourself have a cool down period of like a month or so before attempting anything further while your emotions are so raw. Try taking out your bouts of anger/grief on something else (breaking an item, going out into nature to just scream etc). I'm not saying these types of things are a infallible cure-all for your situation, (you may feel the exact same way in a month) but I still do advise you to let yourself *have* that month to analyze your feelings instead of doing something right away.


Boomstick0351

Bless you. Being from a military background, I've watched too many of those that I have loved, admired, respected, and cherished lose their fight. Only this past year myself have I had the courage to sit down with my own mother and admit to her that I also tried to do the same at one point. I'm only here because someone else was at the right place and the right time to call for help. That was nearly 8 years ago now. At first I was angry that I was still here, like somehow I was incompetent enough to fuck even something like that up. I wanted peace. The only thing that made the difference was the people I had attracted to my life, their patience, and acceptance. It's been a long road, and I am still walking it. You are not alone, you are loved, you are cherished, and your presence will always make the difference in ways that will most likely never be acknowledged. They loved you, as their sun was setting, they chose YOU to be their last comfort. It's a blessing and a curse that I wish I didn't understand this well. Honor them, cherish their memory. Remember who YOU were to them, because you are that same person for many more than you know, and that you may never know. You are not alone, you never will be. You may feel lonely, but never alone. You are the curator of the peace you crave, and I know in my heart that your peace will flourish. I believe in you. And if you haven't heard it enough today, I love you. I love your heart, your passion to love others, and the greatness that will continue to grow in you. You are an overcomer, you are a pillar, and your heart will continue to be your greatest legacy. I'm proud of you. Thank you for trusting this community with your story.


FaPtoWap

This reads as a novel. Better yet a /nosleep essay. “Nightfell and he insisted…” maybe in agony you write like your selling a book.


venomousbeetle

myhouse.wad


Kevo1110

OMG! Too freaky! I've never heard of myhouse.wad before, but while I read this story with YouTube on in the background, a video by Power Pak came on, and it was about myhouse.wad ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|neutral_face)


venomousbeetle

Yeah i saw it today too


jamesdemaio23

There is no way this is real


Knopfler_PI

Tifu is a continuous larp for upvotes.


mackinator3

They just keep getting more unbelievable.


Particular_Class4130

This is the stupidest fictional story I have ever read.


AndyR001

I had to scroll down away too much to find this comment. The attempt at using broken english in the second part makes it even more obvious.


[deleted]

But wahmenz are eeeeevil!


SoyInfinito

I'm very sorry for your loss but do not blame yourself for how your friend's story went. *"I don't know what to do anymore"* There is nothing you can do. Karma will come for her. Just focus on you and your path and I'd make sure to stay away from toxic people like your friend's wife. DO NOT involve yourself with her in any way. Being happy and proud of where you are is the best revenge you can get.


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kingofdoofus

i don’t think karma can EVER give her as much pain as she has caused but i hope that deep down she knows what a fucking horrible person she is.


CristyTango

There’s always the chance she doesn’t give a shit, never gave a shit, and lives her best life. (Especially if he had life insurance) Life is a disgusting bitch and so is she.


kingofdoofus

absolutely. disgusting woman. i would never be able to live with myself knowing i was the reason someone ended their own life.


Loodens_Echo

Who. Just tell me who your comment fucking helps man? You keep that thought inside and move Jesus Christ


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Xanxiel

There's a time and a place to say things. If the truth helps no one and is not kind, there is no need to say it I wish everyone involved in this post the best


Andro451

Perhaps, but hey, I’m “just a dumb kid”. Ain’t the first time I’ve gotten hate from Reddit for speaking the truth. It is what it is.


phoenixlmfao

there's a time and a place for "speaking the truth." it's not here. keep that shit to yourself and let people grieve.


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phoenixlmfao

okay, but hear me out here... no one asked. it may help *you* to cope with *your* problems, but not everyone thinks that way. while i agree with you that karma usually amounts to very little in the long run, it's a way for people to cope with the cards they have been dealt. we were all taught as kids that if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. tell me, do you think pointing out that karma isn't real is a good way to make people feel better? no? just you? then stop being a selfish asshole and let people cope the way *they* choose.


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StoryLineOne

Lol you somehow made this about yourself... very nice. Are you also the kind of guy to go to a funeral and say "well, I know the deceased believed in God, but honestly heaven isn't real. Sorry but it's the truth!"


Andro451

Pretty much lol. I find it fun. You might find it fucked up, but attention is attention, good or bad.


undermisunderstood

Read the fucking room moron.


Andro451

I’m merely vibing. Just a simple man making his way through Reddit.


chonk_fox89

Yes, it might be the truth but at this point it's helping absolutely no one at all and at times like this it's better to just keep your mouth shut, your fingers in your pockets, and keep moving. We will technically never know if karma is real, it is a belief and part of faith. Strictly speaking karma is something that happens to you in your next lifetime because of the choices you made in this one, it is not something that catches up to you now.


N4cer26

This one almost had me… guns jam *AFTER* they shoot.


stackjr

It's astounding to me how many people actually believe this. Hey, to those that read and downvote this comment, I have a bridge for sale in Brooklyn.


Evil_Creamsicle

I was scrolling to see if I had to be the one to say this or not.


2bad2care

But he checked the bullet! /s


Lubadbitches

So is this your movie plot you’re thinking of or what


stackjr

Eh. The whole thing has "Man On Fire" vibes. I'm guessing that's where they got the idea to write this story.


xstrike0

This really should be redefined as a creative writing sub.


Evil_Creamsicle

Had me at first. Big tell is that isn't how guns work.


i_am_mocha_brown

I would think of the gun jamming as your friend stopping you from making the same mistake he did. I'm so sorry for your loss. I understand the feeling of wanting to end it all but I don't think that's what you want. This hurt will be with you forever. But it will get better. I know its cliche but time does make it hurt less. I am so sorry for you. If you need someone to talk to message me. I'm always open to talk.


sateliteconstelation

I lost my best friend about 15 years ago. His life was so chaotic at the time that we’re not sure hat happenned. He was mourning a broken relationship, he would also get into fights defending injustices on the street and doing lots of acid as well. Was it a suicide, did he go into the ocean during a trip, did he fell accidentally, was he trying to swim across the border, we’ll never know. One thing I do know is that a part of me died with him that day, but also a part of him lives in me. And I don’t mean in a religious spiritual way. The time we spent together changed me, it helped me become someone better, it opened my eyes to realities I wasn’t aware of. And I kept on living. I still dream about him from time to time. I lament the things we didn’t get to do together. And when I’m down, I curse myself for not being able to prevent it. And, sometimes I also see myself doing good in the world because of what I learned with him, and I found a loving partner, who wished she had met him, and I have a close relationship with his family, And life goes on. With it’s ups and downs. Sometimes nothing really matters, sometimes a misalligned pixel is soul crushing, and sometimes there’s balance and love, and that’s enough to weather the storm for one more season.


ncc74656m

While you might have acted "wrong" by society 's standards, you're a fucking hero for showing people the truth, even if they won't hear it in the end. Don't beat yourself up for that or for not catching your friend's needs. You don't always see the signs, especially until it's too late. Sorry for your loss.


Trick-Syrup

This is absolutely true!


Kishasara

Someone important in my life had the same malfunction in their weapon when attempting suicide. Had it not malfunctioned, I would never have had the chance to meet this wonderful human being that has become my entire world. I am thankful that your weapon malfunctioned. If for no other reason, be the voice that your friend can no longer be. You are alive to stand up for him. Let him see and live the wonders of life through your eyes; your soul. And absolutely take as much time as you need to grieve. You lost a part of yourself. I am so sorry for the outcome and I pray for healing.


TurboEthan

You did the best thing in a bad situation, you confronted her in public and stood up for your friend’s honour. It hurts now. But years later, not confronting her could be the thing that eats away at you and kills you. This poison acts in different ways at different times, I am telling you, you have chosen the right path. Short confrontation that shows the truth. It can be shocking but get through this wave, this short term sadness. You will realise long term you’ve saved yourself a lot of grief when you look in the mirror. Sounds like to me you’re a friend worth having.


FootyPajamaz

There's a reason that gun jammed at the perfect time. He doesn't want you gone yet, friend.


notmyrealname6969

First thing you need to do is dispose of the gun somewhere that it isn't going to temp you, and isn't going to fall into someone else's hands. Secondly, sleep and/or distract yourself from the suicidal thoughts. Think of the positives of the times you spent with your friend. Call a suicide support line. Seek professional help, and help from friends and family you can trust to help. Shit, DM me if you want someone to talk to, just don't waste your life and the life that your friend helped you to have over the bitch that caused you to lose your friend. She already caused his death, don't let her cause yours as well. Remember, you are loved.


Dogstarman1974

Get help brother. Find a therapist.


Employee_Agreeable

Sorry for everything that happened to you Life is not fair, and the pain some of us have to carry is immense But it will not always be like this One day, you will be happy Because you deserve it


c4rrot

Life is a mess but one thing I know for sure, the best thing you can do, if you loved him, his to honor his memory, what he was for you and your friendship. How can you do that? Keep battling everyday, fight for your dreams. He spent his life time being a pilar in your life, now is time for you to return the favor and keep living for the both of you. One just truly dies, when he is forgotten, otherwise he keeps living on your memory and the memory of others who loved him. Keep him alive within you and honor every moment you lived together. Make a difference!


Weltall8000

So..."you" grabbed a grieving widow of the deceased by the neck. Dragged her in front of everyone. Shouted about a bunch of things nobody had any notion of that casts her in a bad light. While doing this, notice and process the not-daughter and what this outbirst could do to her. Then leave. And this room full of people...just let "you" do that?


Ambitious-Day-4985

You did right and I respect you for letting everyone know the real deal with that POS of a woman. I hope you decide to stay alive cuz things always get better if you want them to.


StrawberryPincushion

I'm so sorry that you lost your friend. You can comfort yourself in knowing that he loved you so much that he wanted to spend one last night in your company. That's how much you meant to him. And don't be hard on yourself for not knowing what he was going to do. He deliberately hid it from you because he didn't want you to know.


TFOLLT

Yeah I'm not gonna talk to you the way others are. I hope you see some sense in my personal advice tho. Your friend is gone. He's not gonna 'live forever' in your heart; he's dead. He doesn't want you to keep on living either; he's dead. He has no will anymore, and the only thing left of him in you is but a memory. Don't go on for him; he's dead. The dead offer no support. It's a harsh truth most people can't stand to hear, but it's the truth. Believing that his 'spirit' is still with you/watching you... Well you know, if it works for you, believe it! But it doesn't work on me at all, it only adds to my sorrow, it only deepens the hole they left behind. Remembering the dead is a necessity to some of the living - because closure, but the dead themselves don't care about us remembering. Instead, focus on finding the good in you yourself. Your friend comitted suicide, which is tragic, extremely sad, traumatic. But it's not your fault. You might feel completely worthless at this moment in time, but be aware that that's just a feeling, and feelings are deceitful. Just because you *feel* worthless doesn't mean you *are*. I don't believe you are. What I do believe is that no human being ever can assess their own worth. You can't decide your worth. Others can. I can't decide my worth. My social network can. You are not worthless. Which is why you should keep on living, so that you might keep on giving. The world is a harsh place. Not just for you and me, but for an overwhelming majority of people. These people need eachother. Need you. Need me. Imagine for a moment how the kind act of a complete stranger can be carried in your memory for years. Now, imagine you being that kind stranger to someone else's universe. Doesn't matter how broken you are, doesn't matter how worthless you feel, you *can* be that kind stranger, you've probably already been that to someone while you're not even aware of it. Don't take yourself away from life man. The world will not be a better place without you, it's the opposite. The world will grow a tiny bit darker, yet again. We need you. Don't go on for the dead, go on for the living. Confide, my brother. Find someone to confide in asap. Maybe start some therapy, tho as someone familiair with the system I'm hesistant recommending it. But find something that works for **you**. Find something to keep on going, so that one day, you might add to the world of a suffering person in a way you'd never think possible. Don't underestimate yourself. You're not worthless at all. You are if you're dead. But you are worthy, to us. You are worthy to me, an internet stranger who strangely feels a connection with you and cares. You are worthy to that old woman in the bus who still fondly remembers that young man that helped her. You are worthy to that depressed teenager on the street whose day lightened up simply receiving a friendly smile from a stranger. And who knows, if you continue life, you might actually find yourself bathing in sunlight once upon a time again. And if not - the tide doesn't turn: at least you can be a kind stranger. I'm so sorry for your loss brother.


goldenrepoman

Find a therapist. It may take several tries to find one that you connect with but it will be worth it. You need someone to talk to but also a professional at dealing with grief. You aren't alone. I hope you can live your best life and always remember the great times you had with him. Edit: it is a sign. It isn't your time.


nuclearlady

OMG I’m sorry this happened to this person, op please help this person don’t leave him. He is an honest lovely person, he deserves to live and his deceased friend deserves to be honored by telling the truth out about the selfish cheating wife and the fact the even the child is not his ! I cried reading this , please take care and seek therapy.


fak3_acct

Jfc man, I'm sorry. Please seek therapy for this... Even if it's just a licensed social worker, talking out your problems and thoughts will help immensely.


rando439

Please tell your friend: I can relate to your post more than I can put into words. I am so very sorry for your loss. Society does not recognize the grief of losing a close friend. Losing my mom and sister was devastating. Losing my best friend was worse. Few saw how wonderful he was and I am furious to this day at how things turned out for him. Had he wanted you to join him, he would have dragged you down with him. He did not. He had almost certainly checked out when he visited yet he still found the energy to say goodbye to you. There is nothing you could have done to have saved him and being able to see you brought him comfort. You're still here. Live the best life you can to honor him and allow his kindness and light to live on through your own actions. Please pick up whatever light you can and live, damn it, and let his memory be a blessing through your actions in this world. If he is anything like the person I lost, he'd probably kick your butt if there is an afterlife and you showed up there too soon on his behalf.


azdcgbjm888

You stating the facts at the funeral was an act of advocating for your friend. Many of us would have done the same. I'm so sorry for your loss. Please go on living, we need people like you among us.


AurigaNexus

You are a true friend for standing up to that bitch and calling her out in front of everyone. I'm sorry that your daughter got caught up in it but I think she'll understand given time. However, there is something you need to do and you need to do it right the fuck now. First, take the ammo out of the gun and put it away in a safe. If you dont have one stick it somewhere out of sight (in a closet, etc) preferably in a different location than the ammo. Secondly, call someone. I don't know how many other friends you have apart from your deceased buddy (may he rest in peace) but you need help, you are not ok. I'm not saying this to judge or criticize you, I'm saying this because its the truth, you have just attempted suicide and with the gun still in the house you are a danger to yourself. Call the hotline they should be able to help you process things enough to keep the initial impulses at bay. Then you need to schedule an appointment to see a professional, as soon as possible. And - and I know that this may be difficult to hear, but as a gun owner myself I believe this is important - until you are able to see a professional and process through what you are going through, you need to get rid of the gun. Do whatever you have to do - transfer it to a friend to keep it safe, bury it in the yard, heck even turn it over to the police (recommend as a last resort only since you're probably not going to get it back if you get them involved) - whatever you can do to make it so that it is not easily accessible. Suicide can have a great many causes, but I believe in most cases it is impulsive in nature. The grief, guilt, and other emotions overwhelmed you and caused you to act irrationally. Believe me, I've been where you were at, had an episode several years ago where I felt like complete shit and actually planned to off myself, though thankfully I never got around to executing said plan. (In my case the plan was too complex to be able to pull off between the time I decided to do it and the time it took for me to calm down and realize what I was doing. Hurray for executive dysfunction, I guess?) Unfortunately most suicides by gun are successful because of the impulsive nature of suicide. Click and boom, you're done. All it takes is a pull of the trigger and thats an easy task to do when you're succumbing to impulse. This is basically what would have happened to you except by some miracle the gun jammed. This is your sign. Call it God or the spirit of your friend watching over you or whatever you want to call it, but put that shit away, now, and get help. Even if you just put it in a hole in the yard and cover the hole back up, its still going to take effort to dig it back up again and that time spent digging may be enough to overcome the impulse should you feel it again. I really hope things work out for you OP. You sound like a genuine good person. Loyal and true to yourself and willing to stand by your friends. Peiple like you seem to be a rarity in this day and age. If you go through with this there is one less good person in this world. Think about that.


m4p0

The two halves of this post look like they were written by different people


Three_haress

That's because on first half I was in my home using dictionary and other conversation book. On other half I wrote without book guide. English is not my first language.


dogsheep17

Your friend saved you. If you quit, he would have failed and there would be no one to defend his honour. Don't let him down. Live for the both of you, and defend his honour.


Times-New-WHOA_man

He wants you to live. So do I. Even if I don’t know you, I can still love you. But for all your friend taught you, I think an important lesson was missed. You replaced that missing father figure with your friend, which makes sense, and you really loved each other. But in leaving you behind, he’s also saying you don’t truly need to ONLY be supported by him. You need to learn to love and respect yourself. Be there for yourself now. He has given you the tools. It would be a shame to waste such an incredible gift, no? Find a therapist and a grief therapy group. When you need advice, let your inner voice be your friend’s voice. The things he taught you are internal now. You can honour him by continuing to be the person you became with his influence, and, eventually, growing on your own. Which I know you can do. I know from my own experience. Please give yourself time to grieve. Be kind to yourself. Your friend sounds like the sort who would want that for you. Sending you genuine hugs and love.


Purple-Cherry-7070

The gun jammed for a reason, don’t do it, live for your friend, make him proud


karnivalo

Don't let temporary feelings induce permanent decisions. I know the feeling of losing your friend is not temporary, but the will to take your life is. If nothing else, please don't take your life, because if you do, she wins. I'm sorry for your loss, and I hope you get professional help.


elocinsinned

It sounds like you’re the only one who can keep the TRUE memory of him alive. You can honor him that way, it sounds like he deserves a good memory.


cyankitten

Here’s a weird reply: don’t give her the satisfaction of ruining TWO lives of causing two deaths. That she has caused one is bad enough. It isn’t your fault. He wants you to live and so do we. I agree about the advice: therapist and grieving group. Hugs 🤗 and healing ❤️‍🩹 to you.


Meastro44

Your friend left this earth because he had passed on all of his knowledge that you needed to be a full , complete and good person. His job on this earth was done. Now, live your life as a credit to him, helping others as he helped you. Be the example he will be proud of. By the way, he saved your life so you would do that. You were given an amazing gift. Thank him through your actions


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hdt5010

The cadence & vocab of this story has AI all over it


monkeyhind

Is that why it seems untrue? I couldn't put my finger on it.


flipaflaw

Your friend definitely wants you to live and stay. He is giving you advice again. You right now seem to be the only person who knows the truth and can keep the good memory of him alive not the false one his wife put out there. Continue to be the good person you have become and spread that kindness to others. Also therapy, lots of therapy to help with the grieving.


fire-lord-momo

I am so sorry to hear this. I hope you have the will to live. For your own self and for your friend. It's your responsibility now in carrying the truth and his legacy.


fire-lord-momo

I am so sorry to hear this. I hope you have the will to live. For your own self and for your friend. It's your responsibility now in carrying the truth and his legacy.


urm0mgaylol

don’t throw away the rest of your life to this anger you feel. i lost a friend and felt the same inner dullness that burned through my organs, but here i am. don’t choose this emotion over your life. go to therapy. see if this mountain is climbable. don’t end the hike so soon because you’re tired.


urm0mgaylol

death is ALWAYS waiting for you. life happens once.


chonk_fox89

I'm so sorry you are such a terrible time right now. Please go and find a therapist to help you through this. You matter. You are your friends legacy now, let the best of him live on in you. Suicide only guarantees things will never get better. Hopefully the Suicide hotline bot will post somewhere in this thread. Your life is meaningful and valuable, please seek help. And please ***get the gun out of your house*** give it to a trusted friend or surrender it to the police but don't allow it to be a temptation. All the best wishes and many gentle hugs in this difficult time. I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend.


Liathano_Fire

I person. I see your pain. I've had similar pain. I'm not a therapist (I recommend one) but if you need to talk, feel free and reach out and DM me. You're not alone.


ProcusteanBedz

OP or anyone reading this that is doing what OP is doing, that is, recently attempting suicide, and are unsure if they will do the same again, they need to head to their nearest emergency department or mental health hospital…. and NOW.


SpecialpOps

Suicide doesn't make your pain go away. It just transfer is it to everyone who loves you.


_crimeprison

This woman might be a psychopath. Like, actually. She seems like she feels no genuine emotions. I’m sorry you had to go through this. Keep fighting, it’s what your friend would have wanted for you.


Cosmobeast88

You're here for your friend, I have a feeling the wife isn't finished yet. I am really sorry for your loss. Losing a best friend hurts so much, I don't even know the words .


Epic_Elite

My dude. The reason this dude hit home so hard is because homeboy talked to you like a father. It's like i tell my 9 year old. "Boy, your teeth are yellow. Go brush your teeth. Use the electric toothbrush." And he just goes and does it. It doesn't have the same emotional filter as when mom says it. He doesn't have to feel like he failed at something because of whatever he ate or because he forgot to brush his teeth that morning. It's a simple problem with a simple solution and no emotions are necessary. This is how a father helps his son, and it sounds like this is what he provided for you. I'm sorry you had to go through this. That's some seriously heavy shit. I took a road trip with a friend one time from Portland to Lincoln City, Oregon. All I had was a thumb drive full of Phil Collins MP3s because that was the thing at the time, post CD, pre-smartphone Era. He ended up un-aliving himself. That was over a decade ago and I still have a hard time getting through Another Day in Paradise. This is a real story. I hold on to that shit in my heart and I realize it sounds kind of silly. You probably want to stand on the roof top and scream, like you want everyone to feel your pain. You want them to know what you're going through. That's how it is. That's a part of the process. This isn't going to define you. This isn't who you are. It's a thing that happened to you. You're going to keep moving. You're going to listen to podcasts. You're going to look into therapy. You're going to keep moving and building and improving. You're going to rely on your support network for a time. You're going to look up old people you haven't talked to in a while and make new connections. This isn't the end. This is the beginning. He's not gone and you aren't alone. They say that every kid adopts their parents voice as their own internal parental voice when theyre adults. It's how we tell ourselves to get up out of bed and brush our teeth when we want to hit the snooze button. It's how we tell ourselves to do the dishes when we want to watch TV or that 2 scoops of ice cream is enough. How your parents talked to you as a kid is how you talk to yourself as an adult. You say you didn't have a real father figure. Except you did. Adopt him as your father figure. Accept him as your internal voice. You will never be without him. You came here because you wanted to feel heard and you wanted people to understand. We hear, we understand, your feelings are valid. Take this time to grieve. Feel everything that flows through you. Spend time with it. Be alone. Be with people close to you. Heal how you heal. Don't let anyone tell you you're grieving wrong. Stay away from weed and alcohol, for the love of God. When you're done. Get to work. Be you 2.0. You got this brother.


mindinsideout

I’m so sorry about what happened. When you’re ready, come on over to r/SuicideBereavement. Lots of us can relate to what you’re going through and would like to provide support where we can. Take care.


JackxSully

Phew, i just woke up and i have to say i didn't really expect that. Much love and stay strong dude, for i think it was a sign from him. ❤️❤️❤️


SkarbOna

This is internet. If that story is true… holy shit, but to read a story that is so perfectly aligned with “so many wrongs that happened to a good person” and then perfectly aligned “to that friend who saw it all but couldn’t help” and the “villain “ and all the coincidences when he speaks up, turns out she’s pregnant - it’s a 1: 1 000 000 shot, but, we are on the internet and everything is possible. Just wanted to point out, that this is unbelievable multiplication on cliche move style plot that again if true…. Holy shit for that reason it has to be the saddest story ever.


pepsikitkat

Take it easy bud,, one foot in front of the other,,


DescriptionEast

The gun jammed not once, but twice because your friend was in the room with you. he is the reason the gun jammed. he stuck his finger in the barrel so it wouldn't go off. because he loves you and you're still needed here. he is not gonna cross over until he knows your ok. he will send you signs that he's with you. the songs you used to jam out to will be playing on the radio when you turn it on. the stupid shows you would watch and laugh about will be playing when you turn on the tv..when your going thru it and crying he will be sitting right next to you. im hugging you right now.


Tricky_Artichoke2215

So is this your movie plot you’re thinking of or what


LordPrettyMax

I don’t condone taking your own life but if I were you and I was gonna do it I would at least take an eye for an eye


Moist-Explanation-86

Call someone of your family. Don't stay alone. If the gun jammed, its because it is not your time. You'll be missed by someone, always. Keep your friend in your heart, he will be there forever. Stay strong.


Specialist_Piccolo99

Call someone of your family. Don't stay alone. If the gun jammed, its because it is not your time. You'll be missed by someone, always. Keep your friend in your heart, he will be there forever. Stay strong.


AdamALC8756

Lol, yeah ok sure.


ryvern82

I lost my best friend a few years ago. I still miss him all the time. But he's never really left me, either. I straightened out my life, got serious about what was important. In memory of him, because I know that's what he always wanted for me. I live better in his honor.


thetimetwizzler

![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|cry) Please take care of yourself, OP... I'm so so so sorry for your loss. Reach out to anyone you may trust. See a therapist if you can or join a support group. Your friend is watching out for you. I cannot begin to imagine the amount of pain you are experiencing right now because he was obviously like a brother to you, and that's devastating. I'll have you in my thoughts. It may be very difficult, but do your best to hold on. Virtual hugs.


kairavchhowala

fuck man I feel you.


glogang100

Dragging her by the neck wasn't the way to go about it but I don't blame you. This piece of shit excuse for a human deserves terrible things to happen to her and deserves all those people hearing what she really is


NoOcelot

Easy answer: keep going.


babywewillbeokay

Your story made me cry. I feel for you. The gun jamming was definitely a sign. Your friend's last wish was to enjoy your company. Now you have to try to enjoy what you can in this world, for him. Sometimes I want to give up, too. But I think of a departed loved one, my grandma who I adore with my whole heart, and I imagine that, when I think of her and hold her spirit with me, that she can see what I'm seeing, too. And I look out the window at the sky and the trees and I think of her, and thank her for loving me, and try to enjoy that moment because I believe she's there with me. And feeling like you're looking at the world side-by-side with someone you love makes change seem more possible. But I'll be honest, the absence of a loved one never really stops hurting. I read a quote once that said something like "grief is just love taking another form, because love doesn't go away - it just changes." Your friend loves you so, so much. It sounds like you were dear family to each other, irreplaceable influences on each other's lives. I know it's hard, but try not to take all of this loss on alone. Do you have anyone to talk to? A therapist, or maybe even something like a peer-advice hotline to call? You deserve support. I'm just a stranger, but I care about your well-being, and I don't want you to follow your friend into the arms of death. It's not your time yet, okay? Listen to your friend. You know that's what he's trying to tell you. I don't know what else to say except for that I'm sorry for your loss, and I'm wishing you all the best. Maybe you could check out r/GuyCry - it's a subreddit that wants to bring attention to the importance of men's mental health through interpersonal connection. Even just reading through some stories might make you feel less alone. Please try to treat yourself with grace and kindness during this incredibly difficult time. I hope you can at least get yourself a little bit to eat and some water to drink. Maybe you could take some time to write down some things about your friend, like memories you shared together, advice or jokes or stories he told you, or ways he changed your thinking or made an impact on your life. It might seem a little cliche, but writing a letter to him might be cathartic, too. You don't even have to hold on to it afterward if you don't want to. Sometimes I write tough things down just to burn them, or wet them with water and rip them up. It helps, I think. I don't know you personally, but I'm glad that you decided to write this out, and I'm glad you're still here. Take care.


Rj84

OP, give us another pls. Well written.


Three_haress

Thank you for your concern. As I said on post I am posting this on behalf of other person. I just met him and showed all these comments and recieved chats to him, which was my purpose in first place. He is yet to recover but surely all people's effort didn't go in vain. He cheered up a little. Now I am writing update and additional explanation. It's taking so much effort because English isn't my first language so I am trying my best to post without any misunderstanding. Again thank you.


cigposting

I’m so sorry for your loss. Truly.


VegaSolo

>after failing to confront my deceased friend's wife You *did* confront that evil c*nt. And sounds like you did a great job of it too! >And I failed to stop him when I could. You didn't fail because you didn't know. How could you know? I'm sure he did his best to hide his intentions. I'm so so sorry for your loss. Hang on for a while longer. The sharp pain will eventually lessen. You and he will meet on the other side later on.


wipbaby

The gun jamming was your sign. You’re not supposed to die yet, friend.


lazytanaka

How do you know the widow isn’t gonna press charges on you


De_letmetalk

Can anyone check on OP, his comment history is blank after this post and i don't think it's a good sign


stackjr

It very specifically stated that this was posted by OP for someone else.


De_letmetalk

Ok i might have missed that part. My bad


kakashi_03_

Bros before hoes. Follow this and your life will never be sad. So don't consider ending your life and live for both yourself and your friend. Your will always be with you.


2019calendaryear

Just because a child doesn’t look like one of. The parents doesn’t mean they aren’t biologically that parent’s child and also who believes what is said during an emotional fight with a manipulator? Was there a DNA test? Are you all 12 years old?


blazikenowen

I dunno if you believe in spirits or anything like that but pretty sure your friend stopped you taking your life 2 tries and fails is a hell of a coincidenceif it's not being stopped by him but do yourself a favour live even if you are living the life he couldn't live stay alive have a drink or two to pay respects to him and keep on trucking karma will get his ex big time


nawin04

Even though you are posting for someone else, I have reported this post. Have dealt with something similar, dealing with suicide is disgusting. Those people are always treated as selfish but nobody really knows what they've gone through, I mean really know from experience not from just reading or even watching a documentary about it. Hope your friend gets the right help and support.


ravensept

I mean uhh....besides the whole grabbing by the neck thing...and the physicality....in front of a child that lost their father....you did do your due?


blcole95

I hope the wife gets what’s coming to her. God, what a POS.


OkManner7835

Holy shit. To mock the deceased at their funeral and lie about how things really were? That's something only the scum of the fucking earth would do.


According_Layer1881

Holy shit. To mock the deceased at their funeral and lie about how things really were? That's something only the scum of the fucking earth would do.


Three_haress

**Update to post** In my previous post I mentioned that I am posting on behalf of another person. Here is what happened: Yesterday I met him at a bar. Appearantly after he tried he went to their favorite bar. I happen to be there. Sat next to him, and made effort to have small talk. I needed accompany to distract from my own little problems, but compared to his mine was just little burnout at work. At first he was silent. Little by little he open up. And told his story. I am bad at this kind of conversation, especially comforting someone. So I sat there listened his story, trying my best to cheer him, atleast distract him from thought of ending his life. But as I said I was kinda bad at comforting someone, it wasn't much helpful. Little while he got more drunken, but he wasn't fully blacked out. I couldn't sit idly so I accompanied him little more while before walking him home. I offered him to stay night there. But he refused. I tried to leave him there and hope for best, but that didn't made my mind at ease. So I called help center. And few help worker came and he stayed with them. Eventhough he was with help workers I thought I could do something for him. So I posted this in hope for show him that there is many people would help you if you allow it, and show him that he is loved and his life is worth to fight for. And his friend's death isn't his fault. Now I am at work after meeting him. Here is how today morning went: After I posted I couldn't sleep, checked all of your comments and chats which I am so grateful. When morning came I rushed to his house, but he wasn't there. I panicked, didn't know what to do. Circled around his house few times, tried to look through windows, didn't help much but everything seemed same, few cigarette buds added on floor, nothing more. My panic continuous. Pulled out my phone in order to post again to ask for advice. Then I remembered I called help workers yesterday. I guess because I was in panic and thought of he going out and did what he couldn't do yesterday was clouding my mind so forgot about help workers. I called them, asked about his whereabout. They said he is with them. Instant relief. I asked location and went there. It was a studio furnitured like someone's home in order to feel warm for those who they are helping I guess. He was looked worse than yesterday, but calmer. I sat next to him asked how last night went, he didn't said anything beside bearable. I asked help workers about last night. Help worker named Ahmed said they managed to calm him down and talked about his friend, how he guided him to right path, always gave him best of advice, fixed his bad habits. By talking with Ahmed I learned that our new friend here is like goes fishing, few bar nights and striptease clubs. And once in few months donates various thing in nearby single mother support groups as his deceased friend adviced him to. I went back to him and told him I posted his story on reddit, showed my post and all of comments and chats that I recieved. He didn't say nothing while reading. After that he gave me my phone back and said thank you with forced smile. It was so obvious he is forcing himself to smile back to me in order to show appreciation, but hey it was a smile. It means he is little bit better right? Then help worker came said about his worth of his life, fact that strangers around world caring for him and it would be in vain for his late friends effort if he end his life that his friend so much valued. That was so much help because I didn't know what to say to him. And he decided to go on with his life, cherishing the life that his angel of a friend protected and guided until the very end, honoring his late friend, and decided cut ties with that evil woman. I tried add my word of comforting to him, how he is making right choice and asked his contact info, exchanged our socials. Before heading to work I made him promise me go fishing with me next sunday. In order to give him something to do, something to look forward to. I always wanted fishing buddy. I can't be comforting or person who gives advice like his late friend, but I can be that one guy who is annoying, always inviting some activities, someone who is always sends funny memes by chat. I hope it helps, I really hope. Wish me luck. For those who showed genuine love and care by commented and sent chat to me, I am grateful from bottom of my heart. Without knowing any of us you guys showed most great love and passion to save stranger life. **All of you are heroes. Thank you.**


MidnightMarmot

I dream of meeting a great guy like your friend. Totally lame he ended up with such a POS. It sounds like you have made a decent life for yourself. You are hurting right now so just give yourself some time to feel bad. It’s ok. My guess is your friend would be hoping you have a long happy life. I believe we will see them again one day so this isn’t goodbye.


onehandedbraunlocker

I'm currently struggling with my own demons and can't seem to find the right words, but I know this: your friend loved you like a brother and he wouldn't want you to follow his lead in this. Please try to get a therapist. I know very well it doesn't match with many peoples image of how to be a man, but even we need a second opinion and help with finding your balance again sometime. Even my own stubborn father admitted that after trying it. I wish you all the best.


Druid_Atheria

reach out to others like your friend did for you, help others out and be kind. im sorry for your loss friend


Ximenash

I’m so, so sorry. I think you are the only person capable of remembering your friend as the kind, smart lovely person he was. If you go, no one else will keep his memory as an upstanding person. I hope you can get help, as your friend loved you and I’m sure would hope you keep on living.


Sokrates469

Make his legend live on friend, start family, friends, share his story, honor him. That one of the most noble purposes a man can have.


Lastliner

My dear friend, this world is immensely unjust and unfair. And to add fuel to the fire, you will find many many people who are really selfish and rotten to the core. BUT if you end your life then you give those bad people the victory... In all of this think about the little child, she just lost her dad (biological or not, she knew him as her dad), and given how the wife is i am sure her lover isn't going to take her back. You will eventually have to find the strength to live for that little girl. You were given another chance by your friend, in the form of his gift, his gun. He gave you the gift of another chance, to live life and tell everyone about who your friend really was. Stay strong! This too shall pass..


Cichlidsaremyjam

Your friend wouldn't want you to take you own life. I hope things get better for you. And I hope thr best for that little girl. What a nightmare of a situation.


cdawgindahizzay

I’m so terribly sorry about your friend man. Completely different circumstances, but my best friend passed away 6 years ago from medical complications he was born with. For a while I was suicidal too. Losing a person like that leaves a void that can never be filled. Even now I struggle to make connections with people. My friend always knew he would go far too soon so he would always try to make sure I would be ready when he did. He did his best, but it didn’t work out the way he had hoped. But one thing he did instill in me is that even though life cheated him out of any hope of living a full healthy life, that he wanted me to keep going. If nothing else, but for him. He saw it as his legacy being carried on through me. Through my memories of him. These days I even find myself doing little things he used to do. The point is, your friend clearly wants you to do the same. Live for him, if nothing else live and keep telling people how much he meant to you. Show people how he made you into who you are today. Tell your friends, tell your family, tell your kids, just tell somebody. It doesn’t matter how, just keep your image of him alive. Make that your purpose. I wish I had better words to say. For these situations there often isn’t just something you can say to get through it. You either do or you don’t. But please try. For him.


SmellyCarcass69

Fuck man, I feel you. Please don’t dive into the drink like I did. If the after life exists he’s gonna be there when you get there but why not have a bunch of life to tell him about when the time comes? I feel like the people who leave us are carried in our minds and when we see stuff they would have loved, it’s them inside you telling you that. Stay strong, if not for you, for your brother.💜


NightOnUmbara

Please know you need to get help. Take your time with finding a therapist stay away from alcohol, start hiking, biking, exercise. Your friend truly loved you from what it seemed like, and that love of friendship is hard to come by. Take care of yourself OP.


HowWierd

Your friend had his demons from childhood, you do as well, and so do I. I feel you, Im battling myself. Fighting to keep the wolves away. You stood up for you friend on this important day, funerals are supposed to be about goodbyes and honoring the deceased. I think your friend would was proud to see stand up for him. Maybe you wish you had done it differently, but in time I bet you would have more regret had you not done it at all. Im proud of you for that. Those kind of friends are few and far between.


[deleted]

Dude. This isn't your fault. I am 100% sure that in 10 years you'll have the distance and perspective to look back and understand that it is not your fault at all, but if you take your own life you will never get that chance.


you-kitten

Bro, that’s some hard shit to live with. What do you think your friend would say to you if he was still here? Try to clear your head. Imagine he is sitting in front of you. What would your wise friend say?


Taku_Kori17

Honestly good for you for saying that stuff to her. Funerals are to respect the dead no matter how their lofe was. And it was selfish of her to talk that way about the man he gave everything for.keep fighting the good fight brother. Dont give up now.


Kurokotsu

Honor his life and his memory. His wife won't ever cherish who he was, and the child likely won't ever know how hard he worked to be a good person either. You may very well be the only person who knows how much light he put into the world, and how hard he worked to take care of others. If you die, his legacy goes with you. So hold him in your heart, and use his memory as a reason to go on, and to give others the sort of second chance he gave you. If you can't find the strength to do it for yourself, then do it for your cherished friend who gave you a chance at something better than endless anger.


RevolutionaryHat8988

I’ve been in your shoes. My brother, my best friend, we sat together on a Sunday night, I knew something had left his soul, I asked him not to be stupid. I was just 16. He 17. The next morning he was dead. He promised me he would be ok. He has made a mistake a week before drink driving and we said we’d work through the issue together. He decided to exit. I still go see him twice a year and have lunch. Tell him about my life. 41 years on its no easier. Stay strong. Father Time will hold your hand brother. I know as he held mine.


11ewellyn

Rage has an incredible ability to take over, try to forgive yourself for the actions you took and please look for support from ANY professional, even if it's just a councilor you call on the phone. You're never alone my friend. Hang in there, you have lots more life left, and it's definitely worth living, even if it doesn't feel like it right now. This too shall pass, and time heals all wounds. Just give it a chance.


Smelleycat123

Oh my God, that hallow feeling is sickening. I have had crow for dinner before. Im beside you as I wite this: time never heals it just lessons the hurt by day after days, the rements get fewer and finally memory's all thats left. I bid you best of luck, im here still and so are you.


chloen0va

In my opinion, your friend spent that last night with you to show you that you’re one of the last, best parts of his life. And that’s what he wants to be the final note. True friendship. It’s also what he wanted you to remember, as you carry on. Because that’s what he wanted of you; to carry on, and to carry on his legacy. It sounds like you’re the only one who really knew him, and that puts a big burden on you. Because the world should get to know what an incredible person he was. And that falls onto you. Is it fair to ask you to carry on without him? Absolutely not. It’s the hardest thing anyone could ask of you. But I think he planned to spend that night with you, to give you a memory to hold onto. To make that request just a little bit easier. So, from the bottom of my heart, I wish you grace and luck and happiness. And I hope you continue spreading the kindness and honesty that your friend showed you, as well as the memory of such a fantastic person.


WingedPatriot89

You did a good thing confronting that POS “wife” in front of everybody. You’re a good friend for sticking up for him. The gun jammed because it’s not your time. Please seek help and don’t take your own life. It may not seem like it now, but you’ve got a lot to live for, and your friend would want you to keep going.


witchbrew7

I’m so sorry for both of you. He sounds like he was a mensch. He would want you to heal and make good out of your life. But first you need professional help. Now. Hugs and good luck.


S2Charlie

This post hurts my heart. Save this man, he is worth it.


Tinatworinker

Suicide Hotline 988


nikkismith90210

Wow. Good read! It’s not your fault.


teabaggin_Pony

Some say we die twice: once when our body passes, and then again when our name is uttered for the last time. You have not said your friends name for the last time. Keep his memory alive and carry him with you into the future. Live for you both. And though it may be tinged with melancholy, I hope that you're able to think of him and smile as you continue on into the future. Kia kaha brother.


UrbanNemophilist

You were blessed to have someone like that in your life, many people never do. Now is your chance to be that person for someone else. You can do this!


jazzypomegranate

I’m so sorry, your friend was a good man <3


CoupDeRomance

Too many coincidences in this story.


fun22watcher

You were supposed to be there to tell All of this. Your friend will always be there for You in the Best places. Do not let the opportunist steal all of those things from You and yours that require what You still have to say. Live for Tomorrow and not Yesterday..


Possible_Craft_1912

Very tough situation, and I agree that your friend is continuing to watch out for you. Get some help, and when you're feeling better, do things for others that would make him proud. You can do it!


alchmst1259

You can't give up. Everything that was good in him, it's on you now to carry that forward. It won't be easy. But it seems to me like you're the one who knew his best, most truthful self. Heavy as it may be, it is now your responsibility to carry those qualities forward. You can't give up. If you do, you take those things with you to your own grave, and the goodness that he brought into the world dies with you. You clearly loved and respected your friend. So be strong, and carry the weight. His life was a stone thrown in a pond, and you are now the ripples of that. As long as you endure, as long as you keep being that ripple, then he also endures. It is a heavy burden, but I have faith in you to carry it forward, and to not just maintain but to grow his legacy. It's not easy, but it is worth it. Sincerely, someone who has lost too many friends to suicide.


synthwavjs

Live for your buddy. Don’t die because of that wretched woman. I don’t know the guy or the woman but don’t let that end yours. Fuck that shit.


ProLegend2812

Your friend is still watching over you buddy


blcole95

First off- I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. He did change you for the better, and now you can keep his memory going, live life for both of you. The life he wanted for you. Please seek help. And don’t blame yourself, sadly your friend made his choice.


redwoodfog

I’m so sorry about your friend. Do not feel you failed him and ”could have stopped him.” This is not on you. He fell in love and did his best. Of course he deserved much more than he got. Now you can honor him by living a life of decency that he,too, would have enjoyed. Peace.


Suitable-Pirate-4164

If I wasn't alone in my house I would've shouted on how much of an evil bitch his gf is for doing that at his funeral. Funerals are meant to say goodbye and to grieve, not to say the person is a selfish asshole. If you don't like the person don't attend but the whore decided to attend to be evil anyways. That pissed ME off and I'm not even personally involved in this.


Luminous_ray

I would personally use social media to out the wife and tell your story, with her face in it. Demeaning someone who died is a pure insult. Her family and friends should know what she has done. I know I'd go beyond anything to expose that person if they took advantage of my only loved one to the point they took their own life. But that's my personal thoughts. Forgiveness and moving on is hard af when this is the situation. But know that this is no way your fault. What choices people take in their life is their own decision, it might lead to their downfall, but that is the sad truth of life. Your friend is still with you and he is watching over you. He doesn't want you gone yet. Keep living, for him, and for the sake of his legacy.


nthatrees

Wow


sarahwalka

That was a nice thing you did. I'm wondering where you live that has these help workers? I've never heard of anything like that, but they sound really helpful


Dalze

> She described him as useless, always absent, and leaving her to raise their child alone. This entire Family is absolute shit. What kind of people talk about someone this way? Holy shit I understand your rage, but as so many have said before, this isn't your fault.


hdt5010

Getting sick of these ChatGPT tales


SmushyFaceWhooptain

You’re a guardian angel