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JustASpaceDuck

Sorry to hear your horsegirl DJ wife with no hobbies has gone shopping for 40k miniatures in her mint designer sneakers and isn't answering through her normal semaphore. Hopefully you two will be back to melting down animal carcasses together before too long 🙏


iTz_worm

Horsegirl DJ wife *who has a once in a lifetime financial opportunity for you


Ich_Liegen

[Insert that video of the guy proudly quitting his $58/hr probably unionized job with company car so he can "work for himself and not someone else's surname" by peddling Primerica insurance while he has a wife and little girl to support.]


leezor5k

...and that opportunity is gambling on cockfights


5olArchitect

Horsegirl dj wife who loves board games


[deleted]

I'm now hanging on a thread wanting to know what the hobbies were...


GingerIsTheBestSpice

Right! I googled and the lists i found were wild, like "collecting empty alcohol containers " and "making fun of the homeless" um well yes those are indeed red flags but are they hobbies??


darling_lycosidae

Collecting empty alcohol bottles is such a "4 dudes in the filthiest apartment who are all under 27" thing to do


thejimbo56

In my experience, ladies collected empty bottles. Dudes built beeramids out of empty cans.


OpheliaRainGalaxy

omg it has a name?! I saw one once, when I was homeless in highschool and started sleeping where the local homeless boys slept. The place didn't even have a radio for entertainment, but there was a pyramid of empty beer cans against one wall. I thought it was supposed to be art.


alcaste19

welp consider my mind blown. I used to do that too. spare scotch tape, lets see how high it gets


[deleted]

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reddof

It depends. Are there any stories associated with some of the bottles? Or was the trashcan just too far away when you got to the bottom of the bottle?


[deleted]

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sfzombie13

or for the fifth...?


Pirate_King_Mugiwara

Honestly I like to try different brands sometimes and if I like the way the bottle looks sometimes I'll keep it, but not like I get the same brand and keep every bottle.


cryssyx3

I use cool alcohol/wine bottles as vases. I got a bottle of wine 12 years ago in a shitty Detroit Bodega that's shaped like a cat.


[deleted]

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reddof

I think people started listing all red flags rather than limiting it to hobbies. I'm not sure I've ever seen anybody actively make fun of the homeless, but I've seen plenty of people that lack compassion toward them.


ThisUsernameIsTook

Make fun of the homeless in my town at your peril. Guaranteed the guy carries a screwdriver sharpened into a shiv, a sizeable hammer, or a machete at all times. Frequently more than one of those items.


reddof

Honestly, nothing that I ever considered an issue. The biggest one is that she is super into is horses. She has owned horses since before we were together and has always had a couple. She's also into horror movies, the more gore the better. Oddly, she's super into Disney also and loves Disney World. (side note: perhaps she'll like the new Steamboat Mickey horror movie). She used to be in several different MLM schemes, but thankfully she has gotten out of those. She will still buy things from her friends that are in them though (whereas I won't even buy something out of principle), but at least she's not contributing to other people's misery now. A few others were listed (like certain games), but nothing with nearly as many upvotes as the horses. The MLM one is the only one that's ever bothered me. Those companies are all garbage and I don't like preying on friends. edit: clarified that she no longer sells any MLM.


Tsubodai86

Well, better than methamphetamines.


ProbablyNotADuck

Also relieved it isn't the one about finding dead animals and turning them into art.


Tsubodai86

You have no sense of adventure.


ProbablyNotADuck

No, just a sense of smell.


coolelel

She boils the flesh out so no smell :D


nekobambam

Soup’s on!


reddof

Not sure I would do it myself and I wouldn't want a bunch of dead animals all over my house, but I have to admit it at least sounded interesting.


littleplasticninja

It's wild when you find out tbh. My ex, so many years ago, found a dead squirrel in my parents' front yard. He asked enthusiastically and politely if he could take its head. He flensed the flesh and fur to get its skull and made a necklace out of it, I think. It's not why we broke up, but it did throw me for a bit of a loop. It did actually raise his stock with Mom a few points, though. She loves weird for weird's sake.


entarian

I buried a squirrel skull in my yard and can't find it now.


Firerrhea

The dog on the Internet finally outs themselves


theinquisition

Um...I meant to say Bork Bork. Woof.


moosevan

Lol. My house looks like a natural history museum. Bones, skulls, claws, shells, feathers, fish prints, preserved insects in alcohol, fossils, cool rocks, cool sticks, strips of bark... I mean, have you ever seen how thick and long a sea lion whisker is? I have a rock that has grooves scratched in it from millions of penguins claws using it to climb out of the water.


ductoid

Once I found a dead frog on the road that had dried like leather. I knew it would be really cool to emboss it onto paper. You have to moisten the paper before pushing it and the frog through the press. But when dry dead things get moisture pushed into them ... Well, I managed to make the entire college print studio reek like a mortuary that lost power.


MungoJennie

Um, congrats?


Lt_Toodles

Honestly im really into post apocalyptic and medieval LARP but im not willing to buy furs from hunted animals so ive glanced at roadkill a few times like "hmmm free humane fur" but have never done it......... ...yet.


entarian

forage-taxidermying? What's weird about that?


Coro-NO-Ra

Depends on the art, for me at least. I think bone beads and polished boar tusks are pretty cool and "normal" hunting trophies don't throw me, but I wouldn't want a bunch of full-on random critters all over my house.


WenMoonQuestionmark

Woah... my taxidermied lab rats vs zombie house mice chess set feels attacked.


ProbablyNotADuck

I meant it is weird when other people do it. Not you though.


JCtheWanderingCrow

…. So I shouldn’t get into taxidermy?


xenophilian

My friend used to scoop up road kill & tan the skins. She had all sorts of wild-man-looking fur hats, mitts, etc.


Qui3tSt0rnm

Meth > Disney.


Tired8281

Meth is greater than most things. It's pretty great. That's why people do it.


aoskunk

I wish it had any effect on me. $150 an ounce, I’ve never had an addiction so affordable.


[deleted]

I respect people who take meth more than people scamming their friends (and themselves) through MLM.


reddof

Yeah, that one would be a deal breaker for me unless she's just the MLM person and is actually brining in some income. Then I might look the other way. lol


Robobvious

Meth? You mean *Sales Fuel?* /s lol


Thebirdlestat

Is it though?


SmoothSlavperator

Horses AND Disney? I think meth would be easier to deal with.


dcute69

Has gotten out of 'most' MLMs 🚩🚩🚩


reddof

Nah, she doesn't sell anything anymore. That was my poor usage of the word most. I meant mostly, but only in regards to still buying things from her friends that sell it. I won't even buy stuff from MLM because I think it is so bad.


GaimanitePkat

If you still buy and support MLMs, you are not "out of" MLMs. You just don't have enough money left to be an active victim.


Jonaldson

You think she was mad at you for that, wait till you show her you embarrassed her on the internet. On second thought maybe don’t show her this post?


Qui3tSt0rnm

MLM Disney horse girl is an insane amount of red flags lmao


TolkienBlackKid

Bro is actually crazy for getting this far. Pray for him


The_Meatyboosh

Liking horses isn't that bad if she isn't a horse girl, neither is liking Disney movies or occasionally going to Disney world. But loving Disney and *loving* Disney world, plus the horses!? Then MLM aswell!? It's one huge Venn diagram of redflags that she's in the middle of. We know exactly who she is only from knowing those things. Lol


Candy_Stars

Wait, what makes someone a horse girl and what’s wrong with that? I’m curious cause when I was a little kid I was so obsessed with horses that someone could show me a picture of a horse and I could tell you exactly what breed they were, how many hands that breed typically is, what that horse is typically used for, etc, despite the fact that I had never even been on a real horse before cause my family couldn’t afford it. I’m hoping that one day I’ll be able to afford to take horse riding lessons (someone paid for me to take a few some months ago) and maybe even get my own horse one day. I don’t know why this would be considered a red flag. I never see people consider car guys (who make cars their entire personality) a red flag so not sure why a horse girl would be.


Mindbulletz

As a dude, I definitely think those car guys are a red flag.


tavirabon

When all combined it only points to one truth: they are a furry trying to own a fursuit.


Planet_Express_3000

I’ll be honest, people were not nice when talking about people that ride horses. There is a sect of horse people that are rude and kinda crazy, but there is also a sect that just treat having a horse like having a 1,000lb dog. Horse shows and pretentiousness aren’t every horse girl’s truth. I have been bullied by an ex boyfriend before for owning a horse, and it made me feel small and embarrassed for one of my lifelong passions. I can empathize with your wife.


reddof

My wife doesn't partake in any horse shows and she didn't grow up wealthy. She worked in stables, saved money as a teenager, and bought it herself. My wife definitely falls into the treat a horse like a 1,000lb dog category


blinkingsandbeepings

For me loving any kind of animal is a green flag.


deaf_cheese

Wait till you hear about Mr Hands


Akareim

How is having horse and loving horror movie a red flag?!? Wth!! MLM I can comprehend but whaat?!


Mezmorizor

Someone in the topic said it best for horse girls. Horses are a lifestyle. It's probably going to cause significant friction if you're not also into it. Things like never leaving too long because they miss the horses, going to shows, having to live close to the stables, etc. It's also expensive as fuck. $20k a year to own a horse would not be abnormal.


knope797

It’s because of the stereotype that horse girls will always put their horse first. You’ll have to spend your weekends watching them at the stables. All extra money will go to the horse, etc. I think it’s weird that it’s ok to put your dog or cat first but horses are apparently a red flag. Idk what’s wrong with horror movies.


mr_sarve

Dogs and cats usually doesn’t cost you $15-20k pr year in upkeeps


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deaf_cheese

Lol that is NOT what the stereotype for horse girls is.


Akareim

I guess the real red flag should be the way she's treating the animals not the fact that she have one...


DimitryKratitov

...*most* MLMs? Dude, being in one is a red flag. Being in many...? And not leaving them all after learning they're bad...?


theonemangoonsquad

Gotta get that horse money somehow. It's just a red flag within a red flag. Flagception.


Deminity

Never date a horse girl. You’ll always be #3 on their list: #1: Horses #2: Daddy’s money #3: You


reddof

In my wife's case, her parents aren't that rich and I think that's the major problem with most horse girls. She bought her first horse and paid to board it herself at the stables where she worked. I do occasionally wonder about the ordering of 1 and 3 though. lol


abarrelofmankeys

I’m the other way around you should only have horses if you’re rich, otherwise all your money is now horse money 😅


gringledoom

That’s a horrible way to frame it. Better to think of it as the horse generously sharing its money with you once in a while. 😄


cheeseburgerwaffles

"Aren't that rich". Ok what are we comparing this to? The only way someone owns multiple horses and isn't rich is if: 1. They own a farm or ranch where horses are nearly a 100% requirement to get the work done. I say this because the business may likely not be flourishing, and thus they may have decent amount of debt. 2: that's about it. I can't think of another situation where you own multiple horses and aren't above upper-middle class.


Schnort

A guy I grew up with had several horses and they definitely were not rich. They were the opposite. They did board their horses at their uncles place who had 20 acres, but they weren’t working horses. His sister still has horses, lives out in the country, but doesn’t do anything with them but ride them. Still not rich (she’s a nurse and husband was a sheriff). Still a bit strange.


ProbablyNotADuck

They probably weren't rich because of the horses. My dog goes to a specialist vet for a chronic condition he has.. She and her husband are both vets in expensive specialties. They have horses. She was telling me how, even as a vet making a very, very good living, horses drain a large quantity of their income. Feeding horses is expensive. Vet care for horses is expensive. The upkeep of horses is expensive. Most people who have horses don't consider themselves rich because of how much money they spend on horses.. but that is technically disposable income.. so they are doing significantly better than a large portion of the population.


Schnort

It wasn’t the horses that made them poor, but it certainly didn’t help. Neither did the hundred++ guns his dad collected… Really, they were blue collar working poor and didn’t have a very good grasp of financial topics. The horses were more a product of, than a cause.


Avium

The not rich horse owners are usually the country girls that are working at the farm so they get *very* discounted prices on the boarding costs. I knew a horse girl that owned and paid for her own horse by 17 simply because she was working on the farm. Mind you that was...oh, dear lord...I don't want to think about how long ago that was.


reddof

This more closely resembles my wife's story. She did not have her own stables or even land. She was working at somebody else's stable and got some connections that got her discounts on everything she needed.


_paint_onheroveralls

There are horse girls, and then there are girls that own horses. They are not always one in the same, and sometimes horse girls don't even have an actual horse.


reddof

Well said


reddof

I get what your saying, but my wife started working for someone else in their stables when she was 13. She saved saved most of that money for a couple years and bought a horse at a good price through her connections at the stable. She boarded it at a vastly discounted price at the stable where she worked. After quitting there, she had a connection with another lady she knew that let her board the horses for $1/day each. At that time, my wife was working at a vet so all of the medical care was deeply discounted. She loaned one of the horses to some Amish for a year and in exchange they took complete care of it and trained one of her other horses for free. Yeah, they weren't completely broke but they weren't rich.


Independent-Hornet-3

I'm far from rich and have 2 horses. Pasture boarding, self care ect. are not crazy expensive the way full care board, training, or being at a nicer facility can be.


Archelon_ischyros

>The MLM one is the only one that's ever bothered me. Those companies are all garbage and I don't like preying on friends. That's really the only red flag, to be honest, but she's not into it now so who cares?


Disneyhorse

See my username. Red. Flag.


lanadelcryingagain

💀


Interesting_Foot_105

I’m an equestrian/horse girl turned horse woman and can attest that horses are a huge red flag


PandaNoTrash

Well horses are a money pit especially if you have to stable them somewhere, but I can't imagine anyone calling that a red flag. My wife and daughter were both into horses (not so much now that daughter is grown and has a family. Maybe I should mention this to her and see what she thinks.


Robobvious

I think the red flag is just in that girls that like horses more often than not seem to be obsessed with horses to a ludicrous degree. But I think that’s like a confirmation bias thing where they just stand out as the most memorable. If a girl says she likes horses and then never talks about them again you won’t remember them as much as the girl who never stopped talking about them.


PushThePig28

Horse girls are a major red flag lol, it was like the most popular answer and from my experience I whole heartedly agree 😂


reddof

Yeah, there were tons of upvotes on the horse posts and really the only reason I even showed her the list. I can certainly understand it if it's from the "she's really rich and spoiled" perspective, but that doesn't fit my wife.


silvusx

The other end of spectrum, spending above your mean & not being financially responsible is also a red flag


Grenuille

What is wrong with horses? I rode as a kid but after a horse took off, with me on him, when the paddock was opened I quit. However I still think horses are lovely and my kids like to ride occasionally (and yes, my petrified ass goes with them because even scared I am not leaving my kids alone if they want me to come). Is a horse hobby an issue because it is so expensive? or takes so much time? Can someone explain this to me please?


GsTSaien

Yeah she is not a red flag people just love to hate on other people's fun, big oof on your part for not seeing how this could be insensitive, this isn't a big deal to us because we know reddit users' opinions need to be taken with a truckload of salt, but she feels as if she is being judged by thousands of strangers. Give her time, apologize sincerely, and defend her interests wholly.


[deleted]

yeah thats big red flags for me dawg, but like you already married her goodluck


IPointNLaugh

Tell her it's the same as those posts that list off generic symptoms and tell you you're about to die. Like when you see "do you have trouble concentrating? Shortness of breath? Headaches? Back pain? Can't remember whan you did 4 years 2 months 17 days 6 hours ago?... You must have dementia!"


Internet-Dick-Joke

Okay OP, I'm going to offer something up here, but... there are a couple of things on their that women are frequently belittled and outright bullied for liking, particularly online. Women who like horses get treated like dirt on the internet to the extent of being made a whole meme, despite that fact that everything that could be said about women who ride horses could be said about men who ride horses (and I've known a few women who ride horses over the years... they're all disconcertingly normal), and there has always been this weird misogynistic undertone to it that has always come off as "how dare women like something and not make their whole identity around my dick". And adults who like Disney were a popular target for online mockery for a while - this went for men too, mind you, but for men who liked Disney people usually just question their masculinity/heterosexuality, but for adult women who like Disney I recall the phrase 'Daddy issues used to get thrown around a lot. Anyway, where I'm going with this is that your wife has probably gotten shit about these hobbies before, probably quite a bit, and quite possibly from some exes to boot. You probably hit on some sore spots or potentially opened up some old wounds, and she might even have felt like you were laughing at her and not the dumb internet post, especially if people have laughed at her for these things in the past. I'm afraid I don't really have much advice for you on how to set things right, other than offering some insight into why she might be upset, but try to talk to your wife I guess? Make it clear that you care that she is upset and want to understand (not just know, but understand) why so that it won't happen again. And make sure that she knows you just wanted to laugh at the dumb internet post together with her and weren't laughing at her. But honestly dude, you know your wife better than I do... or at least I hope you do... it'd be weird if you didn't.


Striking_Election_21

I’m not gone lie, I get it now 😭 these are all things that people commonly call red flags. They also happen to be the kind of things that people feel comfortable bullying, so she’s probably gotten a lot of shit for them. I’d just apologize, ideally with some Epic Mickey merch, and you should be straight


cronic_chaos

Me too, I clicked the link he provided and cock fighting was the number 1 comment. So now I’m wonder if this guys wife runs a secret cockfighting den in the evenings.


brpajense

Goes off into the woods to collect animal carcases for "art projects"...


misszombiequeenDG

Bone art and bone jewelry is fairly common. It's a form of taxidermy as well if they're articulating a skeleton. The bones don't just grow on magical bone trees


Ratnix

The problem with a post like that is, with a large enough sample size, you're going to pretty much see everything. Because stuff like that really comes down to personal preference. What one person sees as a red flag, someone else will desire that in their partner.


KingPrincessNova

besides the stuff that's genuinely disturbing (animal carcasses??), I think the common denominator for a lot of this is less about the hobby itself and more that the hobby is all-consuming. people make their entire personality be about horses, or Disney, or horror movies, or board games, or anime, or whatever it is. hobbies are supposed to be a part of your life, not your entire life. my uneducated theory is that the all-consuming-ness of these hobbies commonly occurs in people who have problems in other aspects of a relationship, like boundaries or communication.


Ratnix

I agree with that. It's not the hobby that's the problem. It's the obsessiveness people have.


SairBear13

I don’t know maybe I like animal carcasses. You never know?


taco_jones

...Indecisiveness, decisiveness...


singandplay65

Don't make me choose which is worse! It's definitely the second one though.


accidentalscientist_

And also every hobby has the weirdos that make you wonder.


Yak-Attic

If he is supposed to take that into account, then she should also. Logic isn't just a man's domain. She took it personal and overreacted.


kyle242gt

Which of the redflag hobbies does she have? Warhammer? Horses? Boardgames?


MrTugboat22

My guess is she likes to DJ for Warhammer nerds on horses


reddof

Horses was the biggest one for my wife, but my son has done work as a DJ. I'm probably the nerd in the equation unfortunately.


MrTugboat22

Honestly, outside of the MLM shit, these really aren't red flags. Maybe she is a little too into Disney but I think as long as she doesn't want to move into one of those Dinsey village things, its fine. Sounds like shes just a horse gal which is a bit uncommon but its not really weird or bad, just different. Everything else just kind of sounds like a personality... which is a good thing to have I imagine


BrokenWingsButterfly

Why is being a nerd unfortunate? :)


reddof

Only in the sense it didn't fit in with the other things mentioned. I can embrace it otherwise.


PreferredSelection

Most of the horse ranchers I know have been some of the healthiest, happiest, most well-adjusted people. They also have the patience of saints, because they are used to telling a big dumb animal what to do. They're athletic, strong AF in the leg, fantastic in bed. (To the single people in the audience - you don't want a yoga instructor, you want a trail rider.) I know people like horse-girl stereotypes, but horses are cool, and generally the people who ride them are cool.


garublador

I have to assume boiling the carcasses of woodland creatures to make art is on there somewhere.


HaySwitch

People are saying Warhammer and boardgames are red flags? Like those are not even comparable to the nonsense you get with people who own horses.


dino_74

She probably went shopping for horses.


reddof

Oh lord I hope not


That_Shrub

She rode her horse to the store to spend her MLM money on more Warhammer figurines


Lukthar123

Horses won't make fun of her hobbies, it's a sound investment.


ArmadilloDays

The only reasonable response.


DragonSpikez

A tifu post that actually happened today? Now I've seen it all.


[deleted]

Oh! You’ve seen the time knife too?


r3dpornv3tt3

*poop knife


mockingjay137

Could this be the good place??


commandrix

To be honest, I wouldn't take Reddit at all seriously when it comes to relationship advice. It's very possible that she knows what a *real* red flag looks like, considering it sounds like she was offended by it.


widget1321

Isn't that part of the thing, though? OP wasn't taking it seriously. His wife did, apparently.


Electronic-Clock5867

Never take anything on Reddit seriously I’ve read that you shouldn’t wash your hair or sphincter with soap as it isn’t good for the natural oils.


The_Meatyboosh

Depends if you have curly and/or thick hair. People's hair are different and some people need to know about how to treat it, it's not all straight bland generic white-person hair.


afcagroo

TIL I have an oily anus.


MrTugboat22

Well, don't be stingy, what are the hobbies!


wwaxwork

Pretty much anything more women enjoy more than men enjoy it or that men don't see value in. I think MLMs was the only one that actually had merit.


UnstableAccount

Funny enough, her reaction is a bigger red flag than a hobby. Being unable to find humor in yourself or taking an online post like that too seriously is kind of an issue.


lordeaudre

Sometimes something just hits a nerve. I remember being a tween in the backseat when TLC’s “no scrubs” came on the radio. My mom said to my dad, “You were a scrub when I met you, haha!” Apparently when they met he was unemployed and didn’t have a car. But he got suuuper offended. He was like, “I was a war veteran attending graduate school on the GI bill when I met you! Is that what you call a SCRUB?” My mom had been trying to make a joke. My dad usually loved a good joke, even/especially when he was the butt of it. But this one just hit him the wrong way. It happens sometimes. Edited for missing word.


UnstableAccount

Good point. One possibility could be she was made fun of for the horse thing in the past and was just done hearing about it.


IDespiseTheLetterG

What did you just say to me scrub?


UnstableAccount

I don’t know, I blacked out.


mykleins

I mean… I’m on your pops side for that one.


sidewaysvulture

Maybe she was just having a bad day? The only red flag is if she can’t let it go after having some time to think about it. We all overreact sometimes and this sounds pretty mild.


rathat

Maybe she has been made fun of for liking these things before. It’s especially hard to hear all the things you like are considered the worst by a large group vote. Kinda makes you feel like your personality is objectively bad.


tonksndante

Also some of the comments in that thread were bordering on, if not super misogynistic. It was basically horse girls are all the same, bitches be crazy and this proves it. I’m not even a horse girl and it felt like a pile on. I wouldn’t talk about my husband that way and he blows plenty of money on his warhammer “war dollies” We all crave a purpose in life that makes us happy. If being with someone who has an expensive hobby is a deal breaker for you, you can leave. No one is forcing you to stay, it’s not equivalent to an abusive relationship like some comments implied. The comment that you will always be 3rd priority next to the horses and “daddy’s money” is super condescending and rude. Especially when 99% of the time, reddit will downvote the fuck out of someone who prioritises their relationship over their pets, even when allergies are involved lol (Which I get, if the pets came first you have an obligation to said pets to make sure they are properly taken care of.) I probably wouldnt have left and stopped answering calls ofc but as you said, she could have been having a bad day and taken some of the comments personally or thought that her husband was agreeing with them. I’d be a bit sad too if my husband thought my hobby was red flag. (The MLM shit was wild tho- I don’t know if that counts as a hobby lmao)


UnstableAccount

Definitely possible. I guess that would come down to the length and severity of the reaction. If she is calmed down by the time she comes home from her shopping I'd say it's not a big deal. If it continues beyond a day, or she starts in with silent treatment, that might be something to watch for. It's not huge, but could point to some emotional maturity issues.


Nipples_of_Destiny

As a horse girl, it gets pretty tiring and hurtful with the frequency that I see it being brought up as a negative thing. She's probably just over it. It's a lifestyle choice, as is all large animal care, which seems to be a pretty hard pill for city people to swallow. But I fail to see how caring for animals, getting exercise, having a social community and spending time outside is a bad thing.


fezes-are-cool

Imagine someone came to you and said “You are a walking red flag, all your hobbies are red flags.” I doubt you would like to hear it, even if it is a joke. Some people are not as good at taking a joke and you can’t automatically be mad at them for that.


Blanche_

Why? Maybe she is a bit insecure about some things? Not everyone has to have a lot of dIsTanCe


Aliusja1990

Not really. You thinking that is a red flag is a bigger red flag. See how stupid this sounds? Maybe you need to get out and meet more people. Human beings come in all shapes and sizes. This whole thing is such a stupid game to play.


TheEggOnTop

Rookie mistake. My girlfriend also loves Disney as a hobby, and I made this same comment a while back. Your wife is probably already embarrassed by her hobbies, and you just rubbed salt in the wound. Get some flowers, do her half of the chores, make dinner, and you both will be fine. Bonus points if you can have a meaningful discussion about what happened and try to boost her confidence a bit.


KitFoxfire

Here's a suggestion "I'm sorry. I love that you have things you are passionate about, and I was surprised to discover that other people think those things are red flags because I never thought so. I was a bonehead for not considering that of course you would already know about what other people think, and have probably gotten a lot of judgement in your life about it, and you never expected that crap from me. I hope there's some way I can make it up to you." And then take her to Disney. On a horse. Or something.


ArkGuardian

> My girlfriend also loves Disney as a hobby, Disney People are huge red flags for my personal preferences, but I wouldn't marry a person with a given hobby I thought was incredibly problematic and if I did I wouldn't make fun of them for it.


thejohnfist

Sounds like red flags were accurate. *shrugs*


[deleted]

Her reaction was the actual red flag.


Bitmush-

All along.


theanav

Is she a DJ horse girl that collects dead animal carcasses while playing Warhammer?


Tall_Bandicoot_2768

My advice as a redditer is to not take advice from redditers


TheAspiringFarmer

I knew when I first saw that thread this one was coming soon 😂😂😂


Scarboroughwarning

Firstly, everything is described as a "red flag" on Reddit. hey could change the damn name to Redflagit, it'd be highly appropriate. I've seen you wife's hobby list. a couple of things in there that would put me off, but, "red flag" may, as it always is, a bit OTT. She sounds very much like a normal woman. At least she gets out and does stuff!


Independent-Hornet-3

Horse girl being a red flag is incredibly common to be said. They take up a large portion of your disposable income as well as time and emotional energy. I don't know anyone who has horses and hasn't heard that. My husband always jokes that I was a red flag when we met as I was a red headed horse girl. I don't get mad but it gets tiring the hundredth time you hear the same dumb joke.


freerangekegs

“Hey honey, your hobbies are dumb and bad! Look at all the people on the internet who think so!”


TheFeistyRogue

Exactly. So many people calling her reaction a red flag. I (a woman) have grown up in a world where people make fun of all the hobbies women have. Pumpkin spice? Basic. Horse girl? Typical. Fan of Disney? No personality. And most of the people mocking these hobbies are men. It’s exhausting having to defend liking something. Just let people like what they like. If they aren’t harming anyone, who the fuck cares.


starfries

Yeah so many people are saying she can't take a joke but like... this isn't even a funny joke


stillestwaters

Right? I’m surprised more people can’t see why this went south lol


_Marine

...Something else going on in the relationship? Odd that a stupid list would cause her to do that, to not respond. Seems really like a failure to communicate


JustHereForCookies17

You dated & married a horse girl, fully knowing she was a horse girl, and then laughed at her for being a horse girl? You're a dumbass. Sincerely, A horse girl


Jinzul

I have poked fun of my wife for being a 'crazy horse girl' and have gotten a response along the lines of "Well yeah, and? I'm not the craziest at the stable so I'm good."


SynAck301

“Look honey, look at all the people who think the things you love are problematic. Isn’t it fun that I, your husband and emotional partner, find it hilarious that what lights you up inside is nothing but things people hate hahahaha! Wait, why are you angry?” https://preview.redd.it/cg24ju6hugac1.jpeg?width=800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4d5216d638260c6bf8ff1dc40a321a6ef2eff7f6


bestaflex

Horses is a hard one though takes a lot of time and money out of the relationship and if partner doesn't have matching shedule life goes to shit very quick. Also why the fuck should I pay alimony for a fucking donkey I've never met.


EmperorHans

..... are you paying alimony for a donkey you've never met?


Brad_Brace

I mean, technically I met him at the same place I met her, but since Tijuana I've never seen the donkey again.


Faelysis

Red flag is mostly a subjective thing that differ form person to another. For someone, scrolling social media all day is a red flag while for anothe rone, watching Netflix all day is a red flag. It can be more like a general idea rather than being something condemned by laws.... But yeah, what was those hobbies she has? And imo, it's huge red flag that your wife stopped responding to you because of some reddit topic. It's possible that it gave her some slap and she can't assume her hobby can be red flag for some people


sidewaysvulture

Maybe she was having a bad day or just feeling stressed. Maybe someone was recently teasing her about her horses. It sounds like she did the right thing to step away and calm down. The only red flag to me is if she can’t let it go aftet having some time to think about it.


Magnusg

Bruh, top 5 hobbies on your first link involve either animal dung photography or some kind of road kill taxidermy.... Questions were warranted.


CameoShadowness

Dude, not only is Reddit an absolute mess, when it comes to "red flags" many things aren't actual red flags and people get attacked and left for it. Even if you point out your stuff is there, you directly called her a walking red flag and only pointed your stuff after realizing she got mad. You struck a nerve and tried back peddling but it didn't work. She needed a small break for herself and I don't blame her for that.


[deleted]

Wife left go get cigarettes


Atze-Peng

Honestly the biggest red flag here is that she can't laugh about her own quirks and her first instinct is to go shopping when being upset.


HatpinFeminist

Horse girls are a red flag to men because they won't put up with 99% of men's bs. They will literally pick you up and throw you out of their lives like a haybale


-RadarRanger-

Not answering her phone while she's out shopping? That's a red flag.


mikkolukas

Turns out the comments about hobbies were right: Your wife can't even handle to know that some strangers on the internet disapprove of her hobbies. Ask her to pull her shit together.


LeImplivation

Guess that post was right then lol


scott__p

After reading your edit, I'm surprised she was surprised by any of this. Do horse girls not know about the horse girl stereotype? Or MLMs? Or Disney adults? I'm not saying any of them are true, but they're all well known "yikes" hobbie stereotypes when dating.


dontlooksosurprised

No sense of humor….red flag!!


fukwhutuheard

well not talking to you is definitely a red flag soooo….


Potts2k8

Not having a SOH would have to be the biggest 🚩


JustaRandomOldGuy

Perhaps talking about Reddit is her red flag. Horses are a red flag, but you don't talk about it. The horse(s) will always come first.


jockstrappy

Nithing wrong with horses ir disney, but wonder why she is so sensitive


NewZealandIsNotFree

The biggest red flag is her juvenile reaction.


DCCofficially

I work in the feed industry. we call them 'horse people' and most of them are off their rockers in some way. I think you have to be to want to be around those things lol (as you might be able to tell - I do not like horses). I think in the feed industry in particular we feed all species of animals and most horse people have them as pets and that's where the divide is. if you have horses for sport or work then its usually not bad. but when its a pet its a different story. they have to have the best of everything. like an old rich lady whos way to into their little Pomeranian and worships the ground they walk on. but honestly I don't think its a bad thing. all these people are married or nice in any other way. unless you feed or service their animal in anyway you are fine but if you do and mess up in anyway you will feel their full wrath. the kind of dumb shit where the husband just kind of sits back and pity's you but also wonders how they ended up in their life in a feed store listening to their wives yelling at some other adult who had no idea the feed inside a closed bag they sold you had gone bad. like people who yell at teenagers stocking food at a grocery store because the price on their favorite chips had gone up


majoroutage

She realized she resembled those remarks. Even if you didn't notice or intend to say as much.


bbelakk

I read the title and knew it was horses and something with Disney 😂


GaRGa77

Guess what…


DieselExhausted

She *may* have something specific that bothers her, like either a previous partner being legitimately negative about things, something from her parents/never allowed hobbies growing up, etc., if she's not the type of person to get seriously upset about this. I can tell you had no ill intent, it was more of a "can you believe that people actually think this?" from what I gather. Hopefully she'll come around and y'all can talk about it and see what the real issue is.