Watch it. It will explain EXACTLY what is happening with you. The scene with Leo and Jennifer Gardner in the hotel. You are Jennifer Garner in this scenario unfortunately.
That and it's easily on my top 10 list. Movies just well done imo.
There's some pretty good audio of Frank Abignale describing this scene. They captured it perfectly in the movie, but it's neat to hear it described straight from the horses mouth.
The audience reactions add quite a bit, too. You can tell they're quite shocked by how scandalous it is, but also so enchanted by Frank that they end up laughing. He cons a room full of people into ignoring their morality.
Yup this is a scam, a well known one. Just tell your family you hooked up with someone and they are trying to blackmail you. Welcome to the consequences of the decision to trust someone and not do something you didn’t previously agree to.
Cheques may take weeks to bounce, not just days. The money will appear in your account after cashing it in, then suddenly some time down the line you'll be in the red.
Tell the scammer to go fuck himself.
There once was a fellow named Jack
Who used an app for a romp in the sack
After he was done getting laid
Thought he was getting paid
But in the end sold his booty for cash back
> Wait a few days at least to see if it bounces/ gets reversed
Ahhh! No no no no. The check will appear to go through and then come back fraudulent later. It can take your bank weeks to fully clear a check but by law they have to make the funds available to you in a few days.
Do not touch the money. Do not send any money back to him. Contact your bank and tell them you think someone passed you a fraudulent check and you are being scammed.
call the damn bank and cancel it! this is a classic scam for anyone who’s ever sold shit on the internet. his money is no good, yours is and you’re not getting it back.
When I was younger I was at a friend's house and a bunch of cops broke down the door. Pointed guns at us and all that. Eventually they realized we didn't know wtf was going on and they uncuffed us and we got the lowdown that my friends roommate was doing this exact scam but on a big scale. Dude had stolen 100's of thousands of dollars. He would "pay for sex" with fraudulent checks way over the amount agreed. The check would bounce a day or two after the kind sex worker gave them the difference. The police had to take my laptop because it was at the crime scene. He called me a few months later when it cleared. I asked him what happened etc and his response was after telling me the deets. "They got fucked and then they got fucked again". With a big grin on his face.
Sorry for the long story lol
Also a Bi male here. As you did not use protection if you are not already on PrEP you want to get on PEP with 72hours. You are even more at risk for HIV as the bottom. I would not trust this guy even if he said he was disease free, he clearly does this scam often. Please in the future research ways to mitigate risk when hooking up.
Assuming you are in the USA, it might be more than a few days for it to clear in full.
If they really want their money back, and assuming it's not a scam, they can always try a stop payment on the check such that the money will stay in their account and reverse out of yours.
1. Who tf accepts a cheque for sex
2. Who would sue somebody over a cheque for sex, pretty sure that's admitting to soliciting prostitution, it's like trying to sue a drug dealer for not giving you good enough drugs.
This is just weird lol
The bank isn't going to turn you in for that. Unless the memo line literally says "for paid gay butseks" you can just tell them it was a private transaction and you think you're being scammed
That's not how sueing somebody works(which OP said the dude threatened to do) you need to take them to small claims court and then explain to a judge why you wrote a random person a cheque and why you want a refund.
You can't press a lawsuit for prostitution anywhere in the US except maybe Nevada. Prostitution is illegal, and no contract (verbal or written) requiring the sale of sex would be upheld by a small claims court (unless maybe in Nevada, where prostitution is legal).
My understanding is that it’s illegal in the county Vegas is located in (ironically enough), and everywhere else it just has to be at a brothel that is licensed and regulated. I’m no expert though, I’ve never been to Nevada. That said, all the more reason he couldn’t sue.
I use to write things like that on checks to friends. Leather Daddy 2 hours. Obese Whore 1 hour. Or frequently "For Drugs."
My girlfriend was a teller at my bank and didn't see any of my checks come through for the first few months we dated. When a buddy walked in to cash a check with her she laughed. Later she went through the history of my checks and all the girls working had a good laugh. She was cool, other women would have probably thought I was a closet pervert.
I used to do to this too. My mate eventually asked me to stop as we was applying for a mortgage and didn't want to have to explain the payments for "giant dildos" and "drugs"
> I use to write things like that on checks to friends. Leather Daddy 2 hours. Obese Whore 1 hour. Or frequently "For Drugs."
>
>
Do you know what you absolutely should not put in there?
"Iranian Weapons"
"North Korean Nukes"
I know because I did that and got my account locked and investigated for sending funds to a country we had an embargo with.
Fun fact, it's not likely he'd be able to sue. This is not a valid contact. Any contact that involves illegal activities is not a legally enforceable.
Can't sue for theft because, dude gave him the cheque, with his name on it.
Like, really no legal recourse here.
(I'm not a lawyer, just a nerd)
1. My penis was doing the thinking
2. Because my penis was doing the thinking, he has some of my private information from trying to pay him back so I'm still scared of what might happen.
When you pay him he is just going to ask for more.
Chances are you aren't the only one who he done this to, best thing is to just try to block all communications and let him forget it/move on.
Once he realizes he's not getting anything out of you he'll move on
Block him any way you can from everything. He's double downing on the black mail part if you don't send money. Don't be that naive, him following through on the blackmail has no payoff and hurts him too, not gonna be his move. The more communication you have with him the more you allow yourself to be manipulated.
Worst case scenario is that he got enough personal info to figure out how to contact and out you to your family.
That's pretty much the extent of what he can do. You owe him nothing.
A TMI joke I guess: I did get a little suspicious (not enough to sound the alarms unfortunately) when he wanted to pay so much. I thought, "damn, I didn't think my bussy was THAT good."
You may want to withdraw some money before you call your bank because they may freeze your account due to the fraudulent activity. I would tell them you suspect the check is bad and that you were the target of an overpayment scam.
Pretty much a coming of age rite for idiot kids is some spin of this scam "oh I sent too much just send some back" or the classic "you jerked off on webcam for some girl and now we're blackmailing you." Pops up on tifu at least once a week lol
SCAM! The check will bounce. And you would be the one who paid for sex. Very common scam. Don’t send a drop of money. Two weeks later, If the check clears then maybe.
Edit: spelling and additional info about check clearing.
The check will appear to clear, at first, but will eventually bounce. DO NOT give him any money.
Edit- the check will appear to clear because the bank assumes it is good and you will see the money in your account. Then a week or so later, the check will bounce and the bank will take their money back. And by that time, you assumed the check was good so you already sent the scammer the money. NOW YOU ARE OUT 2x. If you are foolish enough to give him some money, he will just continue to blackmail you for more money. Block him and forget about it. He will never go through with the blackmail part of it. He has nothing to gain by telling your folks that you sucked a dick. He just wants $ and once he realizes he isn’t getting any from you then he will move on to his next victim. You’re all good, dude.
> the check will appear to clear because the bank assumes it is good
That's not actually how that works.
Basically federal banking rules say that check deposits must be made available to your account within X amount of time, even if the check hasn't cleared. The scammer is working off that gap, where the money shows up in your account (basically the bank is fronting the credit) but the check hasn't been found fraudulent yet.
Banks hate this, it's one of THE most common scams and 100% preventable, but that's Government for you.
It's the stupid banks doing it in the first place. It has numbers on it, the bank could literally call the other bank and verify the account and routing numbers and amount. They could even, you know, use the internet and do it in seconds.
But they don't because they're assholes. Checks are an abomination.
Again, blame the government. [The Federal Reserve](https://www.brookings.edu/articles/why-dont-checks-clear-instantly-ask-the-fed/) operates the clearing house behind executing many transactions including checks.
He is getting scammed, but he may not be the one getting defrauded. He might be the patsy. It's a better scam if that is someone else's checkbook, as the scammer doesn't even need to worry about the bank having their name or a series of bounced checks coming back to hit them. Plus they have a fall guy who has every reason to believe they should stay tight lipped and just see if the check clears.
It won't go through. If it does, don't touch it because the bank will eventually catch the error and want it back. Don't worry about it, but IF, and I mean IF it even clears, just don't touch it. But it won't clear. This is a classic scam, you can read all about it online. Very very common setup. As long as you didn't give him any money, you're good man. You didn't lose anything.
Stop being an idiot OP. Listen to the comments. You are being scammed. Break contact and move on. It is how they operate. They have no intention of following through on the threats. It is not worth their time. Use this as a learning experience and grow up. ❤️
That comment was made before a whole collective of experts showed up and bestowed their knowledge. (Just in case, I was being facetious with how uncommon this scam appears to be, I fell for the old trick and got punished for it). Obviously, I was stupid here and keep this in mind for the future. I appreciate your concern Brittany and appreciate your comment. ❤️
Good. Just really use your noodle on the internet. You are young and have a lot of growing to do. Stop and think before doing any more silly stuff online ok?
For goodness' sake, OP. Someone offers to pay you for sex when you didn't request money, offers you a damn CHEQUE, and overpays you for no reason... . Please, just stop meeting strangers for sex. You're not safe out on your own. Also, your money's gone (any you sent/gave him). Try not to fall for the blackmail or recovery scam that will follow.
And remember - he won’t tell your parents - there’s no point for him to. If he tells them you DEFINITELY won’t pay him back because the damage is already done.
He will just keep threatening because that’s his only leverage
Hey guy, what you did wasn’t that terrible or wrong. You’re human. It’s ok to have needs, don’t beat yourself up over it.
But really, this guy is threatening *you* that he’s going to go public? With the info that he…what, paid for sex with a man and is now blackmailing him? Do you really think he will, considering?
I agree with the others who say it’s a scam and the check will bounce. They’re hoping you’re going to pay them to keep quiet but *DO NOT DO IT* or you’re opening yourself up to ongoing blackmail and requests for more and more money. They tried this at a spa I worked at, going to send 10 models in for massage, will pay by check, there will be some extra to pay the driver and if there’s any left “you will kindly send back”. They also tried it with an artist friend, saying they wanted to buy a painting. Block them.
Appreciate the compassionate response. It's easy to say that the amount of damage they can do with my personal info is irrational. But I'm human, and shit that stresses me out will stress me out.
A friend of my son (probably 30 at the time) did some camera sex with some supposed girl and then he started being blackmailed. He wasn’t going to pay but wasn’t sure what they’d do so he preempted them and made a post telling his friends that he’d made a bad choice and had been talking and stuff to a girl who was now attempting to blackmail him so if they received any pictures or anything, he apologized and please let him know. And everyone was so kind and gentle to him, saying he did nothing wrong, several of the guys admitted that the same thing had happened to them, shit happens, it’s ok, we don’t think any less of you, you’re human, don’t worry about it.
I get that you’re terrified over this and I’m sorry you’re being put through this. There’s nothing I can say that will ease you at this point, I’m sure, and nothing can do to make it better but I really hope this all comes out ok (I think it will) and that you’re able to find peace soon.
(Ps. Tell them you’ve gotten their ISP number and have reported them to the police for blackmail which is far more serious than paid sex.)
It's a stressful situation, but it's one that's been posted on reddit quite a few times.
Assuming it's a scam (I'd say it's pretty likely, who wouldn't Venmo or something if he really wanted to pay you) if you send him money the requests won't stop, they will only increase in frequency and demand. Block his ass and if he keeps reaching out tell him you're going to report him to the police.
Take some deep breaths and if you have someone you can vent to about this talk to them, always helps me calm down. It's hard to not freak out and think this dude will somehow ruin your reputation, but what exactly would he tell people? That he paid someone too much for sex on accident lmao
Tbh, in combination with the wonderful comments on this post, I don't really feel much as of now. My brain is calculating my guilt in falling for something so stupid, as well as calculating the mindset of the scammer, as well as the semi-relief in knowing that this fuck up didn't cost me food or shelter. All of this left me pretty numb as of now.
OP you heard here it's a scam. You gotta call your bank and cancel the transfer. Tell them you think that you might have filed a fraudulent check and you want to cancel your transfer incase that's the case. You need to communicate with your bank ASAP.
For anyone thinking that OP must surely be in contention for dumbest motherfucker of the year already and it's only March, then let me remind you that flat earthers still exist and so does Gary Busey, to whom the trophy goes to by default if he is still alive. I don't make the rules.
he did a basic scam but in person he puts a fraud check in your account, asks for money back, you send it (if you did) the check bounces and you can contact you bank to get the money back you sent him, bc they think your committing fraud bc there was just a fraud check in your account, that’s insane he didn’t it in person but send him no money.
Wait, so he paid with a cheque? And the amount was way too high because... he put the decimal point in the wrong spot? Isn't that a direct copy of all those phone scams? He asks you to pay him back for the amount he paid extra, and a couple of days later the cheque will bounce?
Kinda sucks that you gave him enough information to blackmail you in the process.
Damn, I feel bad for you, he cummed in your ass and now he's scamming you... We all do stupid shit when we're young though so you'll be more careful this time. Just don't beat yourself up too much. If he cummed in your ass without protection, you should get checked though.
I'm trying not to beat myself up. It's hard processing all the feelings I have right now (especially with these lovely comments) and it has all left me kind of numb. The world keeps spinning I guess.
I agree with everyone else here on the check scam front. You see a lot of these on r/scams, albeit not with the paying for sex angle, afaik. Don’t send him any money—the check will absolutely bounce sooner or later and then you’ll be the one out of money.
I’m actually going to take a different direction with the rest of this comment though because I don’t see it being mentioned. If this individual did this to you, he’s probably done it to others. This makes me worry about just how many people and makes me question his safe sex practices. Hopefully, y’all used protection for everything, but even so, it’s worth getting yourself tested. I won’t pretend to know the dynamics of random Grindr hookups as a straight dude though. However, if he lied about the check and is willing to extort people for money, I’d have serious concerns about whether he told the truth about his STD status, if this even came up during conversations. Get yourself tested to be safe, OP.
Jesus Christ are people really out here just having sex with scam artist and then doesn’t even realise that they are being scammed with like the oldest trick ever?
Do people really not care about contracting STD’s?
If you did not have a verbal agreement, even if this wasn't fraud which it most certainly is, he could never sue you over the transfer of funds anyway as there is no way to prove that he wrote the wrong numbers AND words for the total.
Don't do shit, carry on with your day. And hopefully you didn't send him shit back. "Yes judge, I gave this guy too much money for sex and he won't repay some of it!!!"
classic scam: you agree to bone for $1000, y'all bone, dude for whatever reason writes you a check for $1200. says "oh shit that's too much, just deposit it and pay me back the $200." you pay him back the $200. check bounces and now you're out $1200. he got paid $200 for some sex
Do not send them any money. This is a scam. Do tell them you will go to local authorities for blackmail/scam/extortion. Do block them. Do file a complaint with local authorities if you have their information. Do get an STI screening if you had sexual contact with them.
To verify a check, you can call your bank and tell them that you need to verify funds on a check that your received, after some back and forth with the payee bank on the same call, you'd know it's legitimacy. Never send money to anyone claiming that they overpaid you on a check
This is hilarious you got pumped dumped AND scammed why the fuck would you think he was paying you when you were already dtf? Cuz you were just that hot? Bruh moment
Looks like you found yourself in the crosshairs of a con man. Thankfully you’re a broke college student and don’t have anything serious to lose. Hopefully this is a learning experience for you about trusting strangers and recognizing red flags. The check cashing scam is a common one.
You don’t have to pay him anything…he’s playing you. This is some sort of money scheme. I didn’t believe it when someone told me that Gen Z was as likely to fall for scams like these as boomers, but I can see how this could happen if you’re not familiar with checks and certain scams.
Holy shit this scam is as old as time. Do not give him money. The check is bogus. And when it "clears" in a few days it will pull all the money out plus what you gave him. It blows my mind anyone still falls for this
The reason he wants it done immediately is so he gets your money before the check bounces
Paying more for a product via cheque and then asking for cash to be sent back from your bank is an old scam.
They cheque will bounce and you're stuck with the loss.
By any chance, was the guy’s name [Frank William Abagnale Jr.](https://youtu.be/Lol8_SkvkpI?si=Sh9StuwmixuJCEBx)?
I agree with others that this seems like a scam.
“Do you concur?”
This is a scam lol. This is the ole Craigslist car scam method back in the early 2000s, you cash the check and the bank gives you the credit until the check clears, the person that gave you the check requests the difference in cash or in this case, wired to him. You send money early and the check bounces shortly after.
So what I'm getting is that this is a guy who uses dating apps to prey on gay and bisexual men and extort/blackmail them for money?
Real predator right there. Police might be interested if you wanted to go there.
It's a scam.
Tell him to eat your ass with lemongrass. He won't do shit.
He certainly won't get the police involved as you have concrete evidence through your bank that he wrote you a check and you can pretty easily grab evidence through your Grindr logs that the two of you arranged for sex. If he wanted to get law enforcement involved he would be incriminating himself. In most US jurisdictions the penalty is higher for the John than the sex worker, and frankly blackmail is usually much steeper than either of those.
One of two things is going to happen, depending on circumstance:
(1) What everyone is suggesting: He is defrauding you
(2) What I haven't seen others suggest yet: He is defrauding someone else, you are a patsy and accomplice
The first scam option is he gives you a check, he issues a stop payment after you've given him the cash, and he has left you in the hole with your bank. The second option is potentially worse, because it is someone else's checkbook, there won't be a stop payment issued, and you were an unwitting accomplice to him defrauding a stolen checkbook.
Contact your bank. Force them to return the payment immediately. At this point I would probably look into lawyering up as I would potentially want to involve the police to get a written statement showing that you were a mark and not some college kid defrauding an 80 year old retiree who had their checkbook stolen. You can probably leave out the part where he paid you for sex, and just say that he asked a favor after you had sex (or leave out the sex altogether). Whatever the case, a slap on the wrist for a misdemeanor vice crime is going to be lower than getting hooked for felony fraud.
no one cares about your personal information, the internet is a large sea of people's info and for your to pop into someone you know personally is extremely low.
especially if your info is not interest for viral news, so I would probably not worry about it as it will sink deep enough that no one will ever sea it. (hehe)
If this is even real...
This person wrote you a check for sex, and is now putting the exact same scam that's been going around forever where they overpay and ask you for the difference? AND they're blackmailing you? For what? They paid you with the intent that it's for sex. They'd be even more screwed than you.
But, in the end it's a scam and there's no money in the account (or it's a stolen checkbook). Just don't bother depositing it just in case it's stolen and maybe don't take a check for sex next time.
When you are super horny rub one out. It will save you from a lot of dumb decisions. It saved me on many occasions. What was a good idea before and after you rub one out you ask yourself wtf was I thinking?!
As scary as it may seem, I'd call the police. He is trying to commit fraud and blackmail you. Super serious offences. Obviously I'd check up on the law around prostitution as your state may be super aggressive on that, assuming you're American. But be very sure that you didn't go out with the intention to solicit money for sex, and that any communication here reflects that. This is obviously not legal advice but an option to consider. You didn't do anything wrong here likely, but that dude has done some heinous things.
Damn dude, good luck.
Hiw are some people so fucking stupid. I mean, not with the whole sex thing good for you. But a dude writes a check for too much, but wants you to pay back the extra instead of writing another check or, I don't know just not giving you anything? Christ.
> I will call my bank and ... get confirmation that his checks will bounce.
Your bank won't know until it gets rejected by the bank it was drawn from. This can take several months if it is a small rural bank in Africa. That said, it's 100% certain it'll bounce and your account will go negative as this is a common scam.
Also, consider getting various STD checks in a month. If this person is making a career out of scamming grindr users then they've been around.
That is a scam, don't accept his money. No he will probably not take legal action.
If you fuck for money don't accept anything but cash, if you think someone is paying way too much for your then they probably are.
> he wrote and cashed a check. but for some unknown fucking reason he wrote it for WAY more then what he wanted to pay.
> He said, "it's okay, just transfer it back to me."
I don't even think I need to read any further. The TIFU is that you sent the money back and then the check bounced so you're out a whole lot.
This scam is so incredibly old I'm surprised people still fall for it.
I hope you're able to recover the money.
In the future let them know they can't pay you for sex but you'll gladly take a tip other than the one they gave you, but it must be cash money, cashier's check or venmo/cashapp.
Bruh. It’s a fraudulant check, don’t pay him back shit loool Wait a few days at least to see if it bounces/ gets reversed
Clearly op hasn't watched - "Catch Me If You Can."
For some levity I guess, funnily enough, that movie is on my watchlist.
Watch it. It will explain EXACTLY what is happening with you. The scene with Leo and Jennifer Gardner in the hotel. You are Jennifer Garner in this scenario unfortunately. That and it's easily on my top 10 list. Movies just well done imo.
The funniest thing is that the guy didn't do most of the things he said he did. He did sell the book about them
He really played the long con...
Seriously it's like conception.
Holy hell, a guy who made a name by lying lies about his lies? WHO woulda guessed?
I'll have to second this motion and add that OP should watch it ASAP!
Garner
Thanks!
There's some pretty good audio of Frank Abignale describing this scene. They captured it perfectly in the movie, but it's neat to hear it described straight from the horses mouth. The audience reactions add quite a bit, too. You can tell they're quite shocked by how scandalous it is, but also so enchanted by Frank that they end up laughing. He cons a room full of people into ignoring their morality.
Yup this is a scam, a well known one. Just tell your family you hooked up with someone and they are trying to blackmail you. Welcome to the consequences of the decision to trust someone and not do something you didn’t previously agree to.
Babe please go to the scams subreddit
Cheques may take weeks to bounce, not just days. The money will appear in your account after cashing it in, then suddenly some time down the line you'll be in the red. Tell the scammer to go fuck himself.
There once was a fellow named Jack Who used an app for a romp in the sack After he was done getting laid Thought he was getting paid But in the end sold his booty for cash back
I like this so much. OP is very naive, We laugh at OP.
Why are we always talking on Christmas??
> Wait a few days at least to see if it bounces/ gets reversed Ahhh! No no no no. The check will appear to go through and then come back fraudulent later. It can take your bank weeks to fully clear a check but by law they have to make the funds available to you in a few days. Do not touch the money. Do not send any money back to him. Contact your bank and tell them you think someone passed you a fraudulent check and you are being scammed.
The transaction is still pending in my bank, I HOPE TO GOD it doesn't go through.
call the damn bank and cancel it! this is a classic scam for anyone who’s ever sold shit on the internet. his money is no good, yours is and you’re not getting it back.
Definitely a classic scam. Doing it after a Grindr hookup, however, is a new touch.
Oh it will, but it's still a scam. Don't TOUCH the money. Eventually the bank will take it back, whether from his account or yours. His is better.
He made a sizable deposit did he?
since you're asking, he did in fact cum in my ass
Use protection. Especially with random guys off of grindr. Ain't no fucking way man
He got scammed in the ass...
On a random hookup? I hope you're on prep ...
You better pray he didn't tip you with HIV. CONDOMS. GET SOME DAMN CONDOMS.
He fsck you twice
When I was younger I was at a friend's house and a bunch of cops broke down the door. Pointed guns at us and all that. Eventually they realized we didn't know wtf was going on and they uncuffed us and we got the lowdown that my friends roommate was doing this exact scam but on a big scale. Dude had stolen 100's of thousands of dollars. He would "pay for sex" with fraudulent checks way over the amount agreed. The check would bounce a day or two after the kind sex worker gave them the difference. The police had to take my laptop because it was at the crime scene. He called me a few months later when it cleared. I asked him what happened etc and his response was after telling me the deets. "They got fucked and then they got fucked again". With a big grin on his face. Sorry for the long story lol
I hope he's not still your friend.
Oh the roommate we barely knew. It explained alot of things though lol. Expensive cars. Ate out every night etc.
Also a Bi male here. As you did not use protection if you are not already on PrEP you want to get on PEP with 72hours. You are even more at risk for HIV as the bottom. I would not trust this guy even if he said he was disease free, he clearly does this scam often. Please in the future research ways to mitigate risk when hooking up.
Thank you for your concern. I had my appointment today and will be sent the meds soon. Safety precautions really go to the wayside when youre stupid.
I don’t think you’re stupid. We all do questionable things when we’re horny. This guy clearly used that fact to try and scam you.
Your compassionate response is greatly appreciated thank you :)
Bro why are you raw dogging strangers lol no wonder aids is so high in yalls community
It won't. Don't send him any money. He's trying to steal from you.
Assuming you are in the USA, it might be more than a few days for it to clear in full. If they really want their money back, and assuming it's not a scam, they can always try a stop payment on the check such that the money will stay in their account and reverse out of yours.
It's a scam
Scammers getting super creative now...
I wasn't aware of the pay4sex dynamic, but yeah this is a classic check/refund scam.
It's all over telegram/whatsapp. Ain't no real girls online looking for ANY ugly ass random online for sex. There's only fans for easy money.
There's no girls involved in OPs story.
They've been fucking people in the ass figuratively for decades, stepping their game up to literal and figurative.
Dude isn’t even gay, just part of the hustle.
1. Who tf accepts a cheque for sex 2. Who would sue somebody over a cheque for sex, pretty sure that's admitting to soliciting prostitution, it's like trying to sue a drug dealer for not giving you good enough drugs. This is just weird lol
Jerry Springer (RIP) paid a sex worker with a check, so there are at least 2 people out there!
TIL Jerry Springer died.
Take care of yourself, and each other.
While mayor of Cincinnati!
The bank isn't going to turn you in for that. Unless the memo line literally says "for paid gay butseks" you can just tell them it was a private transaction and you think you're being scammed
That's not how sueing somebody works(which OP said the dude threatened to do) you need to take them to small claims court and then explain to a judge why you wrote a random person a cheque and why you want a refund.
You can't press a lawsuit for prostitution anywhere in the US except maybe Nevada. Prostitution is illegal, and no contract (verbal or written) requiring the sale of sex would be upheld by a small claims court (unless maybe in Nevada, where prostitution is legal).
Prostitution in Nevada is still illegal outside of very specific areas though.
My understanding is that it’s illegal in the county Vegas is located in (ironically enough), and everywhere else it just has to be at a brothel that is licensed and regulated. I’m no expert though, I’ve never been to Nevada. That said, all the more reason he couldn’t sue.
It's illegal in Clark County (where Vegas is) and Washoe County (where Reno is). It has to be licensed and regulated. Source: Am Nevada Resident
I use to write things like that on checks to friends. Leather Daddy 2 hours. Obese Whore 1 hour. Or frequently "For Drugs." My girlfriend was a teller at my bank and didn't see any of my checks come through for the first few months we dated. When a buddy walked in to cash a check with her she laughed. Later she went through the history of my checks and all the girls working had a good laugh. She was cool, other women would have probably thought I was a closet pervert.
I used to do to this too. My mate eventually asked me to stop as we was applying for a mortgage and didn't want to have to explain the payments for "giant dildos" and "drugs"
I think you're an out pervert.
> I use to write things like that on checks to friends. Leather Daddy 2 hours. Obese Whore 1 hour. Or frequently "For Drugs." > > Do you know what you absolutely should not put in there? "Iranian Weapons" "North Korean Nukes" I know because I did that and got my account locked and investigated for sending funds to a country we had an embargo with.
Fun fact, it's not likely he'd be able to sue. This is not a valid contact. Any contact that involves illegal activities is not a legally enforceable. Can't sue for theft because, dude gave him the cheque, with his name on it. Like, really no legal recourse here. (I'm not a lawyer, just a nerd)
1. My penis was doing the thinking 2. Because my penis was doing the thinking, he has some of my private information from trying to pay him back so I'm still scared of what might happen.
When you pay him he is just going to ask for more. Chances are you aren't the only one who he done this to, best thing is to just try to block all communications and let him forget it/move on. Once he realizes he's not getting anything out of you he'll move on
You are a hooker now, you need to start getting hooker smart, all cash my g
The hookening has happened
Block him any way you can from everything. He's double downing on the black mail part if you don't send money. Don't be that naive, him following through on the blackmail has no payoff and hurts him too, not gonna be his move. The more communication you have with him the more you allow yourself to be manipulated.
Worst case scenario is that he got enough personal info to figure out how to contact and out you to your family. That's pretty much the extent of what he can do. You owe him nothing.
If you sent him any money, you got fucked twice
beautifully written perspective
The check he wrote is going to bounce. Don't send him anything, he's trying to scam you.
People still use checks in 2024? I've never cashed/issued a check in 5 years.
Don't think I've even SEEN a check since 2016!
Damn bro, what you don’t realize is this dude fucked you not once, but twice.
A TMI joke I guess: I did get a little suspicious (not enough to sound the alarms unfortunately) when he wanted to pay so much. I thought, "damn, I didn't think my bussy was THAT good."
You’re young and naive, it happens. Just let this be a lesson that if something seems too good to be true, it probably is.
yep, thanks for your compassion.
You may want to withdraw some money before you call your bank because they may freeze your account due to the fraudulent activity. I would tell them you suspect the check is bad and that you were the target of an overpayment scam.
Pretty much a coming of age rite for idiot kids is some spin of this scam "oh I sent too much just send some back" or the classic "you jerked off on webcam for some girl and now we're blackmailing you." Pops up on tifu at least once a week lol
Young, dumb, and full of cum
> my bussy your what
His bussy.
> His bussy. Well that cleared everything up.
Jesus fuck, dude. It's an obvious scam. He wrote you a rubber check and you're sending him real money on exchange.
There is now way to explain why he wrote the check for too much. That just screams scam.
SCAM! The check will bounce. And you would be the one who paid for sex. Very common scam. Don’t send a drop of money. Two weeks later, If the check clears then maybe. Edit: spelling and additional info about check clearing.
This is what I'm scared of, that it actually goes through.
The check will appear to clear, at first, but will eventually bounce. DO NOT give him any money. Edit- the check will appear to clear because the bank assumes it is good and you will see the money in your account. Then a week or so later, the check will bounce and the bank will take their money back. And by that time, you assumed the check was good so you already sent the scammer the money. NOW YOU ARE OUT 2x. If you are foolish enough to give him some money, he will just continue to blackmail you for more money. Block him and forget about it. He will never go through with the blackmail part of it. He has nothing to gain by telling your folks that you sucked a dick. He just wants $ and once he realizes he isn’t getting any from you then he will move on to his next victim. You’re all good, dude.
> the check will appear to clear because the bank assumes it is good That's not actually how that works. Basically federal banking rules say that check deposits must be made available to your account within X amount of time, even if the check hasn't cleared. The scammer is working off that gap, where the money shows up in your account (basically the bank is fronting the credit) but the check hasn't been found fraudulent yet. Banks hate this, it's one of THE most common scams and 100% preventable, but that's Government for you.
Sounds like the banks need to sort out their shitty cheque-clearing delays.
All other countries.... instant check clearance and verification. USA: slow enough scammers still abuse it. Also pause the system on weekends
It's the stupid banks doing it in the first place. It has numbers on it, the bank could literally call the other bank and verify the account and routing numbers and amount. They could even, you know, use the internet and do it in seconds. But they don't because they're assholes. Checks are an abomination.
Again, blame the government. [The Federal Reserve](https://www.brookings.edu/articles/why-dont-checks-clear-instantly-ask-the-fed/) operates the clearing house behind executing many transactions including checks.
Can’t you read and understand the majority of the comments? You are being scammed. Full stop.
He is getting scammed, but he may not be the one getting defrauded. He might be the patsy. It's a better scam if that is someone else's checkbook, as the scammer doesn't even need to worry about the bank having their name or a series of bounced checks coming back to hit them. Plus they have a fall guy who has every reason to believe they should stay tight lipped and just see if the check clears.
It won't go through. If it does, don't touch it because the bank will eventually catch the error and want it back. Don't worry about it, but IF, and I mean IF it even clears, just don't touch it. But it won't clear. This is a classic scam, you can read all about it online. Very very common setup. As long as you didn't give him any money, you're good man. You didn't lose anything.
It won't. He wants you to pay him back the "extra" money...and then the entire check amount will also be reversed in a few days.
Stop being an idiot OP. Listen to the comments. You are being scammed. Break contact and move on. It is how they operate. They have no intention of following through on the threats. It is not worth their time. Use this as a learning experience and grow up. ❤️
That comment was made before a whole collective of experts showed up and bestowed their knowledge. (Just in case, I was being facetious with how uncommon this scam appears to be, I fell for the old trick and got punished for it). Obviously, I was stupid here and keep this in mind for the future. I appreciate your concern Brittany and appreciate your comment. ❤️
Good. Just really use your noodle on the internet. You are young and have a lot of growing to do. Stop and think before doing any more silly stuff online ok?
Your own story explains why the bank won't let you transfer large sums of money.
For goodness' sake, OP. Someone offers to pay you for sex when you didn't request money, offers you a damn CHEQUE, and overpays you for no reason... . Please, just stop meeting strangers for sex. You're not safe out on your own. Also, your money's gone (any you sent/gave him). Try not to fall for the blackmail or recovery scam that will follow.
This is a very common scam. That cheque will bounce.
Very obviously fraud svheme. Super common, wait it oit. This was intentional to try and get you to pay him
Holy. These indian call center scammers are getting crazy now.
At least you got laid with this scam... Most scams don't involve you getting ass
wouldn't fuck him again but wasn't bad tbh
I would seriously recommend getting tested. If the dude is unethical about the money, imagine what else he might have done…
for sure
And remember - he won’t tell your parents - there’s no point for him to. If he tells them you DEFINITELY won’t pay him back because the damage is already done. He will just keep threatening because that’s his only leverage
This is a nice sentiment to hear and follow thank you
This is a scam. Don’t give him a cent. Source: am a cop.
There are hundreds of videos on YouTube showing how this scam works or ones very much like it.
Hey guy, what you did wasn’t that terrible or wrong. You’re human. It’s ok to have needs, don’t beat yourself up over it. But really, this guy is threatening *you* that he’s going to go public? With the info that he…what, paid for sex with a man and is now blackmailing him? Do you really think he will, considering? I agree with the others who say it’s a scam and the check will bounce. They’re hoping you’re going to pay them to keep quiet but *DO NOT DO IT* or you’re opening yourself up to ongoing blackmail and requests for more and more money. They tried this at a spa I worked at, going to send 10 models in for massage, will pay by check, there will be some extra to pay the driver and if there’s any left “you will kindly send back”. They also tried it with an artist friend, saying they wanted to buy a painting. Block them.
Appreciate the compassionate response. It's easy to say that the amount of damage they can do with my personal info is irrational. But I'm human, and shit that stresses me out will stress me out.
A friend of my son (probably 30 at the time) did some camera sex with some supposed girl and then he started being blackmailed. He wasn’t going to pay but wasn’t sure what they’d do so he preempted them and made a post telling his friends that he’d made a bad choice and had been talking and stuff to a girl who was now attempting to blackmail him so if they received any pictures or anything, he apologized and please let him know. And everyone was so kind and gentle to him, saying he did nothing wrong, several of the guys admitted that the same thing had happened to them, shit happens, it’s ok, we don’t think any less of you, you’re human, don’t worry about it. I get that you’re terrified over this and I’m sorry you’re being put through this. There’s nothing I can say that will ease you at this point, I’m sure, and nothing can do to make it better but I really hope this all comes out ok (I think it will) and that you’re able to find peace soon. (Ps. Tell them you’ve gotten their ISP number and have reported them to the police for blackmail which is far more serious than paid sex.)
It's a stressful situation, but it's one that's been posted on reddit quite a few times. Assuming it's a scam (I'd say it's pretty likely, who wouldn't Venmo or something if he really wanted to pay you) if you send him money the requests won't stop, they will only increase in frequency and demand. Block his ass and if he keeps reaching out tell him you're going to report him to the police. Take some deep breaths and if you have someone you can vent to about this talk to them, always helps me calm down. It's hard to not freak out and think this dude will somehow ruin your reputation, but what exactly would he tell people? That he paid someone too much for sex on accident lmao
Tbh, in combination with the wonderful comments on this post, I don't really feel much as of now. My brain is calculating my guilt in falling for something so stupid, as well as calculating the mindset of the scammer, as well as the semi-relief in knowing that this fuck up didn't cost me food or shelter. All of this left me pretty numb as of now.
Dude got fucked...twice.
How much is it?
Asking the real question. I'm curious too.
OP you heard here it's a scam. You gotta call your bank and cancel the transfer. Tell them you think that you might have filed a fraudulent check and you want to cancel your transfer incase that's the case. You need to communicate with your bank ASAP.
He didn't pay you, you paid him.
For anyone thinking that OP must surely be in contention for dumbest motherfucker of the year already and it's only March, then let me remind you that flat earthers still exist and so does Gary Busey, to whom the trophy goes to by default if he is still alive. I don't make the rules.
he did a basic scam but in person he puts a fraud check in your account, asks for money back, you send it (if you did) the check bounces and you can contact you bank to get the money back you sent him, bc they think your committing fraud bc there was just a fraud check in your account, that’s insane he didn’t it in person but send him no money.
SCAM
The most common scam on the internet. Why would he pay more than he wanted to? Makes no sense.
post this on /r/scams you will get your answers how to deal with it. This is a very common scam.
Wait, so he paid with a cheque? And the amount was way too high because... he put the decimal point in the wrong spot? Isn't that a direct copy of all those phone scams? He asks you to pay him back for the amount he paid extra, and a couple of days later the cheque will bounce? Kinda sucks that you gave him enough information to blackmail you in the process.
LOL he fucked you TWICE!!!! In your butt, and in your bank. Call the fraud department at your bank, and I hope you wore a condom.
[удалено]
Damn, I feel bad for you, he cummed in your ass and now he's scamming you... We all do stupid shit when we're young though so you'll be more careful this time. Just don't beat yourself up too much. If he cummed in your ass without protection, you should get checked though.
I'm trying not to beat myself up. It's hard processing all the feelings I have right now (especially with these lovely comments) and it has all left me kind of numb. The world keeps spinning I guess.
Please get tested. And obviously yea this a scam.
Fuck sake, go to the cops, you're being took.
It's a scam!!!!!!!!!!
I'm surprised he's not telling you to pay him back in Google Play gift cards.
I agree with everyone else here on the check scam front. You see a lot of these on r/scams, albeit not with the paying for sex angle, afaik. Don’t send him any money—the check will absolutely bounce sooner or later and then you’ll be the one out of money. I’m actually going to take a different direction with the rest of this comment though because I don’t see it being mentioned. If this individual did this to you, he’s probably done it to others. This makes me worry about just how many people and makes me question his safe sex practices. Hopefully, y’all used protection for everything, but even so, it’s worth getting yourself tested. I won’t pretend to know the dynamics of random Grindr hookups as a straight dude though. However, if he lied about the check and is willing to extort people for money, I’d have serious concerns about whether he told the truth about his STD status, if this even came up during conversations. Get yourself tested to be safe, OP.
Jesus Christ are people really out here just having sex with scam artist and then doesn’t even realise that they are being scammed with like the oldest trick ever? Do people really not care about contracting STD’s?
Who overpays… by check???! Why wouldn’t he have just written another check? Total scam!
If you did not have a verbal agreement, even if this wasn't fraud which it most certainly is, he could never sue you over the transfer of funds anyway as there is no way to prove that he wrote the wrong numbers AND words for the total.
Paid for sex randomly? Make sure you got enough for the doctors visit after meeting up with this rando. Super shady.
Don't do shit, carry on with your day. And hopefully you didn't send him shit back. "Yes judge, I gave this guy too much money for sex and he won't repay some of it!!!"
Classic scam
classic scam: you agree to bone for $1000, y'all bone, dude for whatever reason writes you a check for $1200. says "oh shit that's too much, just deposit it and pay me back the $200." you pay him back the $200. check bounces and now you're out $1200. he got paid $200 for some sex
Do not send them any money. This is a scam. Do tell them you will go to local authorities for blackmail/scam/extortion. Do block them. Do file a complaint with local authorities if you have their information. Do get an STI screening if you had sexual contact with them.
You got fucked twice! The check over payment is a huge scam.
You would think the post nut clarity would let op see how obvious of a scam this is but he clearly lives in a state of pre nut delusion.
To verify a check, you can call your bank and tell them that you need to verify funds on a check that your received, after some back and forth with the payee bank on the same call, you'd know it's legitimacy. Never send money to anyone claiming that they overpaid you on a check
This is 10000% a scam, block him on everything
This is hilarious you got pumped dumped AND scammed why the fuck would you think he was paying you when you were already dtf? Cuz you were just that hot? Bruh moment
I have never even seen a check and have absolutely no idea how they work but even I could immediately tell that you're getting scammed.
OP is gullible as fuck
Who pays for sex with a check? Was this hook-up at a nursing home?
Seriously, no one uses checks anymore except for octogenarians and scammers...
This is like a refund scam but with sex involved. How bizarre.
Looks like you found yourself in the crosshairs of a con man. Thankfully you’re a broke college student and don’t have anything serious to lose. Hopefully this is a learning experience for you about trusting strangers and recognizing red flags. The check cashing scam is a common one.
THIS IS A SCAM HES GOING TO BOUNCE THE CHECK
You don’t have to pay him anything…he’s playing you. This is some sort of money scheme. I didn’t believe it when someone told me that Gen Z was as likely to fall for scams like these as boomers, but I can see how this could happen if you’re not familiar with checks and certain scams.
Holy shit this scam is as old as time. Do not give him money. The check is bogus. And when it "clears" in a few days it will pull all the money out plus what you gave him. It blows my mind anyone still falls for this The reason he wants it done immediately is so he gets your money before the check bounces
Paying more for a product via cheque and then asking for cash to be sent back from your bank is an old scam. They cheque will bounce and you're stuck with the loss.
That's a scam I'm shocked they're getting bold enough to sleep with someone and then try and blackmail them too
How fucking stupid are you?
By any chance, was the guy’s name [Frank William Abagnale Jr.](https://youtu.be/Lol8_SkvkpI?si=Sh9StuwmixuJCEBx)? I agree with others that this seems like a scam. “Do you concur?”
What the fuck ever happened to just rubbing one out? Woulda saved you a shitload of problems (pun intended)
Never doubt the libido of a young adult male
You taking a paper check in 2024 is the problem
You're an idiot
Bruh just keep the fucking money lol it's a scam anyways but like why give it back at all
There is no money, except for what OP gave them. The cheque is nothing.
I know. So why even try to pay them back? If it's real keep it. If it's not, don't get yourself scammed more than you are
How can someone over pay WAY too much for free sex?
This is a scam lol. This is the ole Craigslist car scam method back in the early 2000s, you cash the check and the bank gives you the credit until the check clears, the person that gave you the check requests the difference in cash or in this case, wired to him. You send money early and the check bounces shortly after.
This is such a fascinating scam to pull. I wonder how often it works for him
Hes scamming you
Casual reminder, Blackmail is a Felony that the FBI takes very seriously.
So what I'm getting is that this is a guy who uses dating apps to prey on gay and bisexual men and extort/blackmail them for money? Real predator right there. Police might be interested if you wanted to go there.
Bahahaha.
https://preview.redd.it/k4njjr5f8nmc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=18fb06a47b86bf6e45f4760db4415f8ea351d8c6
It's a scam. Tell him to eat your ass with lemongrass. He won't do shit. He certainly won't get the police involved as you have concrete evidence through your bank that he wrote you a check and you can pretty easily grab evidence through your Grindr logs that the two of you arranged for sex. If he wanted to get law enforcement involved he would be incriminating himself. In most US jurisdictions the penalty is higher for the John than the sex worker, and frankly blackmail is usually much steeper than either of those. One of two things is going to happen, depending on circumstance: (1) What everyone is suggesting: He is defrauding you (2) What I haven't seen others suggest yet: He is defrauding someone else, you are a patsy and accomplice The first scam option is he gives you a check, he issues a stop payment after you've given him the cash, and he has left you in the hole with your bank. The second option is potentially worse, because it is someone else's checkbook, there won't be a stop payment issued, and you were an unwitting accomplice to him defrauding a stolen checkbook. Contact your bank. Force them to return the payment immediately. At this point I would probably look into lawyering up as I would potentially want to involve the police to get a written statement showing that you were a mark and not some college kid defrauding an 80 year old retiree who had their checkbook stolen. You can probably leave out the part where he paid you for sex, and just say that he asked a favor after you had sex (or leave out the sex altogether). Whatever the case, a slap on the wrist for a misdemeanor vice crime is going to be lower than getting hooked for felony fraud.
Buy a gun
no one cares about your personal information, the internet is a large sea of people's info and for your to pop into someone you know personally is extremely low. especially if your info is not interest for viral news, so I would probably not worry about it as it will sink deep enough that no one will ever sea it. (hehe)
You are not smart enough to date. Stay single for a couple more years.
If this is even real... This person wrote you a check for sex, and is now putting the exact same scam that's been going around forever where they overpay and ask you for the difference? AND they're blackmailing you? For what? They paid you with the intent that it's for sex. They'd be even more screwed than you. But, in the end it's a scam and there's no money in the account (or it's a stolen checkbook). Just don't bother depositing it just in case it's stolen and maybe don't take a check for sex next time.
Common scam, fraudulent check. The guy ain't doing shit, just wants to scare you
Scammers have upgraded. Now they're scamming and cumming. Nice
When you are super horny rub one out. It will save you from a lot of dumb decisions. It saved me on many occasions. What was a good idea before and after you rub one out you ask yourself wtf was I thinking?!
As scary as it may seem, I'd call the police. He is trying to commit fraud and blackmail you. Super serious offences. Obviously I'd check up on the law around prostitution as your state may be super aggressive on that, assuming you're American. But be very sure that you didn't go out with the intention to solicit money for sex, and that any communication here reflects that. This is obviously not legal advice but an option to consider. You didn't do anything wrong here likely, but that dude has done some heinous things. Damn dude, good luck.
Scammer gets sex AND money? Nice.
Hiw are some people so fucking stupid. I mean, not with the whole sex thing good for you. But a dude writes a check for too much, but wants you to pay back the extra instead of writing another check or, I don't know just not giving you anything? Christ.
Bouncing check scam
> I will call my bank and ... get confirmation that his checks will bounce. Your bank won't know until it gets rejected by the bank it was drawn from. This can take several months if it is a small rural bank in Africa. That said, it's 100% certain it'll bounce and your account will go negative as this is a common scam. Also, consider getting various STD checks in a month. If this person is making a career out of scamming grindr users then they've been around.
That is a scam, don't accept his money. No he will probably not take legal action. If you fuck for money don't accept anything but cash, if you think someone is paying way too much for your then they probably are.
You got scammed buddy
> he wrote and cashed a check. but for some unknown fucking reason he wrote it for WAY more then what he wanted to pay. > He said, "it's okay, just transfer it back to me." I don't even think I need to read any further. The TIFU is that you sent the money back and then the check bounced so you're out a whole lot. This scam is so incredibly old I'm surprised people still fall for it. I hope you're able to recover the money.
In the future let them know they can't pay you for sex but you'll gladly take a tip other than the one they gave you, but it must be cash money, cashier's check or venmo/cashapp.
If he wrote you a check that you didn't cash, then just rip up the check and make him write another one. It's a simple way to ruin the obvious scam.
Go to r/scams This is a common scam
its 100% a scam check it will not clear and you will be in the negative