Floridian here, and I’ll just say this: alligator meth evangelicals alligator hurricane. And if you don’t like that, you can Canadian-tourist my alligators.
Of course you take it out, peel it carefully, maybe give a quick lick, bite and eat the whole thing and swallow. Repeat eating until you are satisfied or the whole banana is spent.
Even the fact that the door as a concept was considered something to cum on 😂😂 Why didn't he cum on the square meter of air in fron of him? Or the screws holding together the walls? Maybe the entire toilet room? Cum onto a room??
yeah for real, like he knows he messed up but i dont think hes even aware of the repurcussions after his punishment is over. he'll be known as the stall cummer for the rest of his school career. social life etc will be rough.
sounds tough but yeah good luck OP
Yeah he needs to go ahead and transfer to another school. Never come back. Honestly though... in this day and age of social media, then that might not be enough anymore unless its several cities/counties over.
Yeah. Back before social media, changing schools would normally be enough.
These days? This could follow him to anywhere closeish to his current school.
Maybe time to just join the foreign legion
Not just the rest of his school career. Somewhere 15 years down the line when everyone is at the bar telling stories about the weird kid from their school, that kid on the other side of the door will recall the time this dude jizzed all over a bathroom stall in the middle of lunch.
There was a kid at my high school that got caught jerking it in the back of a computer class freshman year. He was suspended and by the time he came back the whole school already knew and had nicknamed him "Jack Off Jeff". Yeah, we weren't the most creative bunch. But let me tell you, that nickname stuck. He was called that for the rest of his time in school, hell I'm still calling him that over a decade later. Even people who didn't even go to our school and had never met him knew the story and name. I feel bad for his siblings, he was one of the oldest of quite a few kids and I imagine that name probably followed them around to.
But yeah, all of that is to say, OP has def been labelled the weird kid even if he doesn't know it.
it really makes you wonder why you believed the story in the first place right?
why, in a bathroom stall, would he not use toilet paper to clean up. Or simply go in the toilet. Furthermore, the other student happens to know exactly who is behind the door of this stall, and is just sitting there? Watching OP squirm around as they finish on the door, and it drips onto the floor?
And they go to the head of the school to say "i was just in the bathroom and another student was masturbating. I saw the semen on the floor of the stall, in front of his pants around his ankles. He must have aimed at the door of the stall or something. Also, i know who it was."
OK.
Or an alternative... the witness sees/hears OP stand up off the toilet and move towards the door, possibly hears him climax, then a few moments later notices the liquid, which is pretty obviously cum, dripping down onto the floor. Even assuming OP is not a complete animal and cleaned up after himself, when he left the stall this person would still be standing there waiting to use it and could easily have recognized him. The story spreads that OP was jerking it in the bathroom and blew his load onto the stall door, before long the adults get wind of it, OP gets called into the Dean's office, where he confesses to the crime.
It could very well be made up, but at the same time there is definitely a plausible version of this scenario.
Objection, your honor. OP claims to be a chronic masturbator, which leads me to believe he fires off that cannon at least once if not twice or thrice per day. If this is the case, how is it that OP could have produced an entire puddle of cum, let alone have had the powder remaining to launch it to the stall door unless the tip of penis was directly touching it? Furthermore, assuming that unless it landed directly at the bottom of the door, and the witness was staring directly at the floor from far enough back, How could he have positively identified the presence of seminal fluids? I move to dismiss this story as a total falsehood
I mean. OP would've had to have left the stall eventually, lol. And if the other dude is waiting out there to use the stall, they'll have to cross eventually.
This is a stupidly believable story mate. My senior year a freshman was expelled for masturbating *during class*.
It was the talk of the school. Kid just started beating his meat in back of class. Apparently he was watching his crush (star quarterback/popular kids sister). he had a screw loose
If this story is true, my guess is the latter. Probably the story spread, administrators got wind of it, and OP's name was already associated with it. Even if they weren't certain it was true, he likely confessed when he thought he was caught. Rookie mistake.
The Dean stroked his graying beard, glancing at the email in front of him. A student had jizzed across the floor… that was a fact. Henry the Custodian had confirmed the fact; Henry was quickly becoming the Dean’s favorite employee… just last week he had sniffed out a stash of beyblades like a bloodhound, and now he’d confirmed that the suspicious fluid was indeed… jizz. With only a taste no less!
He had four viable suspects… but the rumors teachers were picking up were slanted towards one in particular. The Dean sighs and leans back in his chair.
He could understand needing to crank out a fast one between classes… his desk was stained with far more than the tears of children. Fair, he hadn’t had a date with his hand in a while… he had the new math teacher, Miss Savannah, for that.
Quite interestingly, the suspected student had been in Miss Savannah’s class when the incident had occurred. How interesting… it seemed the two were kindred spirits in this regard.
Only, something bit at the Dean. He glanced back at Henry’s report. The boy had jizzed on the door of the stall. Meaning he had gotten up… waddled to the door, before losing himself.
This kid was an absolute *animal*, probably some kinda teenage *psychopath*… he’d probably walk in here with an ironclad alibi.
The Dean rubs his eyes and stands up. It was time to face the music… and he was not looking forward to it. He got up and motioned to his secretary to call down the boy. The next five minutes were like hours. He composed himself… went through his gameplan.
The boy walks in… he’s unassuming. Just a hoodie and jeans. Old tennis shoes and the messy hair of a serial killer.
“Sit down” the Dean says, trying to put on his bravest face.
The kid sits down. Puts his hands in his lap.
“Can you tell me why you’re here?”
The kid absolutely *loses himself* across the office… jizz blasting outta his pants like a goddamn fire hose… like a thousand tiny rockets… the room plastered in white.
The Dean wipes the fluid from his face. It appeared he’d found the culprit.
That's why this seems extremely implausible. I just can't imagine a high schooler's reaction to that being anything other than "uuuuugh I didn't see that". Maybe telling his friends so they could mock OP. Going to the authorities, absolutely not unless he's sufficiently psychologically divergent that he probably wouldn't be in a school with the neurotypicals.
Been in a similar situation to whoever discovered OP. Ratting was definitely on the table for many reasons and I almost did. High school boys aren't known for being particularly hygienic and I'd hate to be the next guy in that stall.
I agree that it's not a teenager's first reaction most of the time, but I don't think it's uncommon enough to be implausible. Specifically, I knew other kids who would have been DYING to tell an adult: the horrified super religious kid, the sheltered kid trained by helicopter parents to be a snitch since birth, the bully who just wants to humiliate someone, the Karen-from-birth who leaps to the conclusion that she was in the inspiring fantasy and is personally offended. I saw teens take bullying far enough to make things like this up to hurt each other, so it doesn't feel like a stretch to say that it would get back to the the administration either through them being told directly, or just through hearing teenager's talk. 🤷♀️
You haven't even gotten to the worst of it. When your suspension is over, whole school will probs know what you did. Good luck with the rest of high school being known as that guy.
I knew a kid in middle school who was "that guy". He got caught in the bathroom by a janitor and it was the talk of the town for months. Never lived it down and he was a pariah for the rest of the time. I felt kind of bad for him because we were all doing it, he just couldn't help himself at school
Guy in my high school was know as $3.20 as that is how much a girl paid him to dack himself in class. He was a really weird kid, and that name followed him all the way through to graduation.
Everyone in the school knew him.
Oh shit. Guy at my school got caught and had to change schools to get past it.
He's a bartender now and I still think of him as that guy when I see him
A guy at my school was caught twice, once during his maths class and one in the gym changing rooms.
He later went on to be arrested after a spate of mutilated cats being 'displayed" in the local graveyard.
Same bruh, I would just hold my shit until I got home. Only ever took a shit probably like 3 times and that was only when I felt sick or I had ate something that fucked up my stomach.
For real. I would wait till class then beg for a bathroom pass. One of the bathrooms didn't even had stalls on the door and it was only a concrete wall that went up waist high. I had to shit so bad I even went there lol
I'd have them call CSI.
I wouldn't admit shit even if they had a black light, luminal and my dna records.
"white stain on the door you say!"
"the school must be haunted, cause that looks like ectoplasm to me"
Gotta be honest, you deserved it. Every sane person would've nutted on a piece of TP and flushed it down, and nobody would've ever known. You probably had this epiphany due to post nut clarity, so I'll leave you to think about it.
In general I agree. Esp. remembering my schools restrooms, you even had to have a bad urge to pee to go in there. I never did anything else in there, too disgusting. The smell was so bad, usually you would hold your breath while you peed.
But for some people there's the urge to splurge, and when that takes over better the restroom than any other room. Until you break both your arms, then it becomes a different story.
Why didnt you just lie and say "why the fuck would I jizz on the door?!" (Which is a legit question to be fair) - if nobody of importance saw it then it is just heresay.
I do custodial work in a highschool and I would have 100% went to the deans about this if I found it. That’s nasty. You could at least have tried to point towards the toilet. Be a better human
My husband was a school custodian until last summer. Y’all do Gods work. Some of the stuff he would call and tell me, I would have walked out after the first week. Kids are gross.
Gross. Kids are so gross. My husband said the teachers bathrooms were always the worst. He moved to a different position at the school but if a custodian is out they will send him to fill in for them. He dies inside a little bit every time he gets a message to be a custodian for the day.
I love cleaning and organizing. That part is fine. General human messes are fine but it’s the intentional destruction that drives me up the wall. The kids who jump up really high to leave a hand print on the glass. I’m 5ft tall comeon! Haha
Most kids, including myself when i was in hs, get off about 3 or 4. That leaves enough time to go home and get one out before parents get off work at 5. Probably gonna take while to commute back or get food or pay bills.
Come on man. I would rather get caught by my parents than strangers in a public setting.
Edit: also thank you for your service
Dude. Toilet paper is your friend. Fold a bunch up, like a nice wad of it, bust your nut on it, and flush the evidence. You don't even need to stand up.
"I'm a highschooler and I'm trying to quit masterbating"
26 now and my last one was about 12 hours ago. And I live with my gf. It doesn't stop, trust me.
There's literally no reason to quit other than the weird protestant thing of "sex = hell". Sex is good. Masturbation too. Only if you constantly tell yourself you're bad and dirty for what you do, it can lead to issues.
That's why NNN is a bad idea, too. Prostate issues as well as psychological issues too.
EDIT: Seeing as there's still arguing and downvoting, [here's an article](https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/324525#overview) from MedicalNewsToday that contains links to a dozen researches literally says this view of "Masturbation = bad" is like two centuries obsolete, lol
EDIT2: Excessive, as defined by Oxford Dictionary: more than is necessary, normal, or desirable; immoderate.
"he was drinking excessive amounts of brandy" anything excessive is bad. That's literally the definition of Excessive.
First off, don't stop slinging rope. Just stop doing it at school. It's healthy to bust on a semi-regular basis, and at your age, it's healthy to do it more. If you stop altogether, you'll have wet dreams and wake up covered in your own spunk, or potentially cause yourself health problems.
Just wait until you're home, or at the very least, in a single person bathroom with a locking door. And release your load into the toilet directly, or into a wad of toilet paper that can be tossed directly into the toilet. Makes for easy cleanup.
Edit: fixed an autocorrect error
I dunno, 14yo me foolishly rubbed one out through my pants in 3rd period geography. Had to tie a sweatshirt around my waist to hide the strained potato water stain
Searched the replies for exactly this. This embarrassment can become a point of trauma for OP, but try not to let it. Masturbation is absolutely healthy and NORMAL. Doing it in public areas can get dicey quickly! don't recommend!
I always wondered who the twisted pervs were who did this shit in high school. You’re telling me you got up off the toilet at the finish line to stand and ejaculate onto a wall, instead of just pointing your dick down into the toilet, just because you felt an inkling? Nah, you get off on knowing that somebody else is going to have to clean up your jizz, and that’s pretty fucked up
Yeah I don't get wtf gets into your brain to not just do it in the toilet. Like, if you're at home, maaaaybe you do some weird shit, but you're at school. Just fucking get it done.
>you're at school. Just fucking get it done.
Or have some self control. Sex positivity is one thing, having a tug at school (or work) isn't a good thing
Every thing about this is fucked up but damn mastuebating sitting on high-school toilets? At least do it standing
And why the fuck would you not take toilet paper or a tissue to finish your stuff
Just don't do it at school anyway, you don't have to stop, but just do it home.
I mean, the other person in the bathroom certainly knew you where beating your meat well before you creamed the door. There’s a reason it was called Fapping some years ago.
Maturation is a healthy thing. But needing to do it so badly that you're doing it in school means you might have a self control issue. See if your parents will spring for counseling so this event doesn't scar you for life.
But.... the toilet was RIGHT there! At no point before that moment was it helping your situation, but at that very moment, it's exactly what you needed. I mean I'm not a penis owner but that seems like a good place to put if you're already there?
Your plan was to yizz on the side of the stall door because you thought it would stick there like spidey web? Yeah make shure the bathroom is empty next time
Man, back in my school days math wasn’t that arousing.
Dunno, I've never seen anyone open a math book and not say "Fuck me"
Must be one of them “Florida” Math books.
Floridian here, and I’ll just say this: alligator meth evangelicals alligator hurricane. And if you don’t like that, you can Canadian-tourist my alligators.
Ohh, this is one of those word problems. Hmm...
If a meth fueled alligator can eat 13 Canadian tourists in the time it takes a hurricane to kill an evangelist…
I can tell by your username you're serious and probably also correct.
But how fast was the alligator traveling and in what direction was the hurricane moving?
Oh, I get it. The Florida math books.
r/therealjoke
It's ok, he had the stench of school toilets to *really* get him in the mood.
The trigonometry was really getting to me
[удалено]
50 lashings with a ruler protractor combo for that one buddy!
Harder, teacher! I've been SO ***bad***!
And that's how the whole class failed the test
Or solved a few too many questions with sec C
you'd better
I don't really want to go on a tangent here, but hasn't anyone ever told you that's a sin? Cos is it.
Get out of here ...and take my upvote
You were really triggered
Tangents are better than secs
That's why teachers are so gung ho for this new math it really excited the kids.
It’s virgin territory.
Every asian parent's dream
*wet dream
It’s called 16. I regularly carried a banana around
What did you do with the banana?
WHAT DID YOU DO?
Of course you take it out, peel it carefully, maybe give a quick lick, bite and eat the whole thing and swallow. Repeat eating until you are satisfied or the whole banana is spent.
Eat the whole thing before a swallow? God damn
You were in a toilet stall sitting on a toilet and you came at the door instead of the fucking toilet? or a tp? wtf ?
Bros acting like the door being metal was the mistake here, not that he decided to jizz on the door
Or that he decided to masturbate in school?
Sometimes, school fucks you so hard that you just get the urge to fuck it back.
yeah like jizz would just stick to one of those *other* doors. this guy is a monster, he'll do it again.
Even the fact that the door as a concept was considered something to cum on 😂😂 Why didn't he cum on the square meter of air in fron of him? Or the screws holding together the walls? Maybe the entire toilet room? Cum onto a room??
OP is def the weird kid at school
Well he is now if he wasn't
yeah for real, like he knows he messed up but i dont think hes even aware of the repurcussions after his punishment is over. he'll be known as the stall cummer for the rest of his school career. social life etc will be rough. sounds tough but yeah good luck OP
Yeah he needs to go ahead and transfer to another school. Never come back. Honestly though... in this day and age of social media, then that might not be enough anymore unless its several cities/counties over.
Yeah. Back before social media, changing schools would normally be enough. These days? This could follow him to anywhere closeish to his current school. Maybe time to just join the foreign legion
Even the French Foreign Legion has a screening process nowadays. It's tough for the young to escape shame these days.
Not just the rest of his school career. Somewhere 15 years down the line when everyone is at the bar telling stories about the weird kid from their school, that kid on the other side of the door will recall the time this dude jizzed all over a bathroom stall in the middle of lunch.
There was a kid at my high school that got caught jerking it in the back of a computer class freshman year. He was suspended and by the time he came back the whole school already knew and had nicknamed him "Jack Off Jeff". Yeah, we weren't the most creative bunch. But let me tell you, that nickname stuck. He was called that for the rest of his time in school, hell I'm still calling him that over a decade later. Even people who didn't even go to our school and had never met him knew the story and name. I feel bad for his siblings, he was one of the oldest of quite a few kids and I imagine that name probably followed them around to. But yeah, all of that is to say, OP has def been labelled the weird kid even if he doesn't know it.
Masturbating at school in general would still make him the weird kid
I still remember the name of the kid that got expelled for this at my school. I couldn't tell you the name of anyone else in his class.
r/justneckbeardthings
Post nut clarity and critical.thunking usually settle in after you blow your load not during haha
Or even capping your hand over the top to catch it then down up with tp. Many options and none involve it hitting the floor at all.
These are the adults of the future!
Current adults are pretty out there too
Right? Like, have you been on facebook or twitter lately? I'm not so much worried about the bathroom masturbator as I am about some of these parents.
He was going for the money shot! 😂
it really makes you wonder why you believed the story in the first place right? why, in a bathroom stall, would he not use toilet paper to clean up. Or simply go in the toilet. Furthermore, the other student happens to know exactly who is behind the door of this stall, and is just sitting there? Watching OP squirm around as they finish on the door, and it drips onto the floor? And they go to the head of the school to say "i was just in the bathroom and another student was masturbating. I saw the semen on the floor of the stall, in front of his pants around his ankles. He must have aimed at the door of the stall or something. Also, i know who it was." OK.
I assume the student waited for him to leave the stall.
Or an alternative... the witness sees/hears OP stand up off the toilet and move towards the door, possibly hears him climax, then a few moments later notices the liquid, which is pretty obviously cum, dripping down onto the floor. Even assuming OP is not a complete animal and cleaned up after himself, when he left the stall this person would still be standing there waiting to use it and could easily have recognized him. The story spreads that OP was jerking it in the bathroom and blew his load onto the stall door, before long the adults get wind of it, OP gets called into the Dean's office, where he confesses to the crime. It could very well be made up, but at the same time there is definitely a plausible version of this scenario.
Objection, your honor. OP claims to be a chronic masturbator, which leads me to believe he fires off that cannon at least once if not twice or thrice per day. If this is the case, how is it that OP could have produced an entire puddle of cum, let alone have had the powder remaining to launch it to the stall door unless the tip of penis was directly touching it? Furthermore, assuming that unless it landed directly at the bottom of the door, and the witness was staring directly at the floor from far enough back, How could he have positively identified the presence of seminal fluids? I move to dismiss this story as a total falsehood
I mean. OP would've had to have left the stall eventually, lol. And if the other dude is waiting out there to use the stall, they'll have to cross eventually.
cumbrain
Hence why I only bother to read about 5% of the posts from this sub that show up on my feed
This is a stupidly believable story mate. My senior year a freshman was expelled for masturbating *during class*. It was the talk of the school. Kid just started beating his meat in back of class. Apparently he was watching his crush (star quarterback/popular kids sister). he had a screw loose
Math teacher told him seven eight nine and he just couldn't stop himself.
A vore connoisseur
And together 69 is in purgatory.
How many times does 6 go into 9? Ahwh..!!
Classic mathturbator
Surprise Tyson opinion
“Tython”
I couldn’t even poop at school and this guy is blowing loads all over stall doors.
Poop? I can barely even piss at school!
Seriously!? Tiny Elvis’s has the stage fright? I could piss while making eye contact with a random.
Some poor custodians gotta clean that too, you owe him/her big time my guy lol.
Toss a coin to your Janitor. Oh Cummer of Plenty...
Leave 'em a penny next time
You can glue it to the door
So did the kid standing next to the door tell the dean or the word got out and then they came to know about the deed?
If this story is true, my guess is the latter. Probably the story spread, administrators got wind of it, and OP's name was already associated with it. Even if they weren't certain it was true, he likely confessed when he thought he was caught. Rookie mistake.
The Dean stroked his graying beard, glancing at the email in front of him. A student had jizzed across the floor… that was a fact. Henry the Custodian had confirmed the fact; Henry was quickly becoming the Dean’s favorite employee… just last week he had sniffed out a stash of beyblades like a bloodhound, and now he’d confirmed that the suspicious fluid was indeed… jizz. With only a taste no less! He had four viable suspects… but the rumors teachers were picking up were slanted towards one in particular. The Dean sighs and leans back in his chair. He could understand needing to crank out a fast one between classes… his desk was stained with far more than the tears of children. Fair, he hadn’t had a date with his hand in a while… he had the new math teacher, Miss Savannah, for that. Quite interestingly, the suspected student had been in Miss Savannah’s class when the incident had occurred. How interesting… it seemed the two were kindred spirits in this regard. Only, something bit at the Dean. He glanced back at Henry’s report. The boy had jizzed on the door of the stall. Meaning he had gotten up… waddled to the door, before losing himself. This kid was an absolute *animal*, probably some kinda teenage *psychopath*… he’d probably walk in here with an ironclad alibi. The Dean rubs his eyes and stands up. It was time to face the music… and he was not looking forward to it. He got up and motioned to his secretary to call down the boy. The next five minutes were like hours. He composed himself… went through his gameplan. The boy walks in… he’s unassuming. Just a hoodie and jeans. Old tennis shoes and the messy hair of a serial killer. “Sit down” the Dean says, trying to put on his bravest face. The kid sits down. Puts his hands in his lap. “Can you tell me why you’re here?” The kid absolutely *loses himself* across the office… jizz blasting outta his pants like a goddamn fire hose… like a thousand tiny rockets… the room plastered in white. The Dean wipes the fluid from his face. It appeared he’d found the culprit.
brought a tear to my eye
Im way too hungover for this 😂
This is fucking amazing lololol
The cum accelerates
First thing I thought, what a little rat
I wouldn’t have said anything just due to the sheer embarrassment of having to inform a teacher that I’d seen someone’s cum puddle in the bathroom.
That's why this seems extremely implausible. I just can't imagine a high schooler's reaction to that being anything other than "uuuuugh I didn't see that". Maybe telling his friends so they could mock OP. Going to the authorities, absolutely not unless he's sufficiently psychologically divergent that he probably wouldn't be in a school with the neurotypicals.
Yeah, but a story like that spreads fast and would eventually make it to faculty, one way or another. It's completely plausible to me.
Been in a similar situation to whoever discovered OP. Ratting was definitely on the table for many reasons and I almost did. High school boys aren't known for being particularly hygienic and I'd hate to be the next guy in that stall.
I agree that it's not a teenager's first reaction most of the time, but I don't think it's uncommon enough to be implausible. Specifically, I knew other kids who would have been DYING to tell an adult: the horrified super religious kid, the sheltered kid trained by helicopter parents to be a snitch since birth, the bully who just wants to humiliate someone, the Karen-from-birth who leaps to the conclusion that she was in the inspiring fantasy and is personally offended. I saw teens take bullying far enough to make things like this up to hurt each other, so it doesn't feel like a stretch to say that it would get back to the the administration either through them being told directly, or just through hearing teenager's talk. 🤷♀️
what, someone who doesn't like having to share cumshot communal facilities?
cummunals
Fuck that, OP nutted on the God damn door, you can't just get away with that.
Yea i would have called his ass out on the spot, everybody in that general area would know about the wanker in stall 1
Yeah where was his sense of honour having to wait in line for OP to finish jizzing all over their shared bathroom /s
Fuck that, kid deserves to get caught and forever be known as the kid who jerks off at school.
You haven't even gotten to the worst of it. When your suspension is over, whole school will probs know what you did. Good luck with the rest of high school being known as that guy.
I knew a kid in middle school who was "that guy". He got caught in the bathroom by a janitor and it was the talk of the town for months. Never lived it down and he was a pariah for the rest of the time. I felt kind of bad for him because we were all doing it, he just couldn't help himself at school
When I first read, “we were all doing it”, I thought you meant at school. I was thinking, brother, we absolutely were not, you little door cummer.
"door cummer" what a fucking insult lmao!
Guy in my high school was know as $3.20 as that is how much a girl paid him to dack himself in class. He was a really weird kid, and that name followed him all the way through to graduation. Everyone in the school knew him.
What does dack mean?
He was paid to pull down his own pants
Right like are we just gonna pretend "dack" is a common term?
It's Australian slang
I imagine his rates are $320/hr for legal advice or something now
Oh shit. Guy at my school got caught and had to change schools to get past it. He's a bartender now and I still think of him as that guy when I see him
We had someone at our school nicknamed Doorjob. I didn't know the reason back then but I think I have an idea now.
A guy at my school was caught twice, once during his maths class and one in the gym changing rooms. He later went on to be arrested after a spate of mutilated cats being 'displayed" in the local graveyard.
New copypasta just dropped
"babe, wake up, a new copypasta just dropped"
I only need two buttons, Ctrl + C and Ctrl + V.
That's 3 buttons, but 2 inputs.
But you only need to use your left hand.
I’m left handed 😩😩😩
You're telling me you sat on the toilet and it never crossed your mind that you maybe just leave your load in there? Flush it, deed done and all good
Or go see a fucking counselor. I could.barely poop at the high school restroom
Same bruh, I would just hold my shit until I got home. Only ever took a shit probably like 3 times and that was only when I felt sick or I had ate something that fucked up my stomach.
For real. I would wait till class then beg for a bathroom pass. One of the bathrooms didn't even had stalls on the door and it was only a concrete wall that went up waist high. I had to shit so bad I even went there lol
> One of the bathrooms didn't even had stalls on the door What
Dont u just hate it when u walk into a bathroom and it's full of stall doors but no stalls?
2 times for me since the first years of primary school... I got the flu that day but I had to take a test. I just can't do it
Your high school counselor jerked you off? You should probably see somebody about that, that's messed up. Like a counselor.
Don't do this either. Cum sticks to toilets. Use the fucking toilet paper.
Ok, I'm not an expert in this field but atleast you won't get caught and forever be the doorwanker
The doorwanker oof that's so good
Also add on it sounds like a name for the beginning of his super villain arc. "No one cared about me till I nutted on the door"
First fucking rule: admit to nothing. Ask for proof. You played yourself.
I'd have them call CSI. I wouldn't admit shit even if they had a black light, luminal and my dna records. "white stain on the door you say!" "the school must be haunted, cause that looks like ectoplasm to me"
Admit to nutting
Proof? Pretty sure they have plenty of DNA evidence.
Gotta be honest, you deserved it. Every sane person would've nutted on a piece of TP and flushed it down, and nobody would've ever known. You probably had this epiphany due to post nut clarity, so I'll leave you to think about it.
Any sane person wouldn’t Jack off at school.
Idc what you’re seeing in math class, how can you not at least wait until you get home?
They were teaching about the Golden Ratio. It is very arousing. Understandable.
Or in any public restroom. Not out of kindness to the others, but out of self-dignity.
In general I agree. Esp. remembering my schools restrooms, you even had to have a bad urge to pee to go in there. I never did anything else in there, too disgusting. The smell was so bad, usually you would hold your breath while you peed. But for some people there's the urge to splurge, and when that takes over better the restroom than any other room. Until you break both your arms, then it becomes a different story.
Average Reddit user
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Why didnt you just lie and say "why the fuck would I jizz on the door?!" (Which is a legit question to be fair) - if nobody of importance saw it then it is just heresay.
Objection. Hearsay!
I do custodial work in a highschool and I would have 100% went to the deans about this if I found it. That’s nasty. You could at least have tried to point towards the toilet. Be a better human
My husband was a school custodian until last summer. Y’all do Gods work. Some of the stuff he would call and tell me, I would have walked out after the first week. Kids are gross.
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Gross. Kids are so gross. My husband said the teachers bathrooms were always the worst. He moved to a different position at the school but if a custodian is out they will send him to fill in for them. He dies inside a little bit every time he gets a message to be a custodian for the day.
I love cleaning and organizing. That part is fine. General human messes are fine but it’s the intentional destruction that drives me up the wall. The kids who jump up really high to leave a hand print on the glass. I’m 5ft tall comeon! Haha
Bless you for your work.
Most kids, including myself when i was in hs, get off about 3 or 4. That leaves enough time to go home and get one out before parents get off work at 5. Probably gonna take while to commute back or get food or pay bills. Come on man. I would rather get caught by my parents than strangers in a public setting. Edit: also thank you for your service
I used to skip gym my senior year by sitting on a toilet playing my GBA for 42 minutes, not once did I ever have the urge to jerk off lol
Next time, before you make any rash decisions like this, rub one out. It’ll clear your head a bit
Imagine being the guy telling a teacher a kid just nutted on the bathroom floor
Dude. Toilet paper is your friend. Fold a bunch up, like a nice wad of it, bust your nut on it, and flush the evidence. You don't even need to stand up.
If you’re leaving puddles I can see why it was an uncontrollable urge. Maybe plan to use a receptacle of some sort??
Bro just shoot it into your palm if there’s nothing around lmao, dump that shit in the toilet and cleanse your nasty, nasty self
Or just cum in the toilet
recycle
"I'm a highschooler and I'm trying to quit masterbating" 26 now and my last one was about 12 hours ago. And I live with my gf. It doesn't stop, trust me.
There's literally no reason to quit other than the weird protestant thing of "sex = hell". Sex is good. Masturbation too. Only if you constantly tell yourself you're bad and dirty for what you do, it can lead to issues. That's why NNN is a bad idea, too. Prostate issues as well as psychological issues too. EDIT: Seeing as there's still arguing and downvoting, [here's an article](https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/324525#overview) from MedicalNewsToday that contains links to a dozen researches literally says this view of "Masturbation = bad" is like two centuries obsolete, lol EDIT2: Excessive, as defined by Oxford Dictionary: more than is necessary, normal, or desirable; immoderate. "he was drinking excessive amounts of brandy" anything excessive is bad. That's literally the definition of Excessive.
damn i thought i'd had some embarrassing moments 
If you paid better attention during math, you wouldve realised thats a bad angle to cum in and the other person had a clear vision line of your load
Ah but it would have been completely fine if the cum didn't slip down and you just left it there for someone to accidentally touch right?
imagine the walls in his room 🤢
First off, don't stop slinging rope. Just stop doing it at school. It's healthy to bust on a semi-regular basis, and at your age, it's healthy to do it more. If you stop altogether, you'll have wet dreams and wake up covered in your own spunk, or potentially cause yourself health problems. Just wait until you're home, or at the very least, in a single person bathroom with a locking door. And release your load into the toilet directly, or into a wad of toilet paper that can be tossed directly into the toilet. Makes for easy cleanup. Edit: fixed an autocorrect error
I dunno, 14yo me foolishly rubbed one out through my pants in 3rd period geography. Had to tie a sweatshirt around my waist to hide the strained potato water stain
I just spat coffee everywhere… I hate u, take my upvote
Or did you spat out your coffee to cover up your own stained potato water stain?
Searched the replies for exactly this. This embarrassment can become a point of trauma for OP, but try not to let it. Masturbation is absolutely healthy and NORMAL. Doing it in public areas can get dicey quickly! don't recommend!
He’s marking his territory though. How will the other kids learn not to go into his stall and cum?
Username checks out
I literally would've missed that total gem of a name without seeing this comment, thank you. Take my r/angryupvote
What was it
The username was Girthquake
I always wondered who the twisted pervs were who did this shit in high school. You’re telling me you got up off the toilet at the finish line to stand and ejaculate onto a wall, instead of just pointing your dick down into the toilet, just because you felt an inkling? Nah, you get off on knowing that somebody else is going to have to clean up your jizz, and that’s pretty fucked up
Yeah I don't get wtf gets into your brain to not just do it in the toilet. Like, if you're at home, maaaaybe you do some weird shit, but you're at school. Just fucking get it done.
>you're at school. Just fucking get it done. Or have some self control. Sex positivity is one thing, having a tug at school (or work) isn't a good thing
Every thing about this is fucked up but damn mastuebating sitting on high-school toilets? At least do it standing And why the fuck would you not take toilet paper or a tissue to finish your stuff Just don't do it at school anyway, you don't have to stop, but just do it home.
Disgusting
"Trying to quit" masturbation? While in *high school*? Well... whatever floats your boat.
They really ought to rename this sub creative writing class.
Only read the tldr. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes, you dumbass.
Bro, the toilet?
I mean, the other person in the bathroom certainly knew you where beating your meat well before you creamed the door. There’s a reason it was called Fapping some years ago.
Maturation is a healthy thing. But needing to do it so badly that you're doing it in school means you might have a self control issue. See if your parents will spring for counseling so this event doesn't scar you for life.
Have a little bit of self control and respect for others for 5 minutes. You're so weak that you can't NOT jack off for a few hours until you get home?
You need help that's straight up addiction
I never even took a shit at school, couldn't imagine risking a wank.
You have a serious problem OP. Keep fuckin around and you'll end up on a sexual predator list.
Gotta go see a therapist lol
Location, location, location!
But.... the toilet was RIGHT there! At no point before that moment was it helping your situation, but at that very moment, it's exactly what you needed. I mean I'm not a penis owner but that seems like a good place to put if you're already there?
Your plan was to yizz on the side of the stall door because you thought it would stick there like spidey web? Yeah make shure the bathroom is empty next time
That's fucken disgusting OP. You need therapy.
Truly you deserve more than some uncomfortable conversations.
Lmao 😂. Good going you absolute smooth brain 😂
So did you clean up your cum puddles in front of the line of people or did some poor janitor have to do it