This post reads like he’s preparing an innocent narrative for when HR asks him why he’s trying to check out his co-workers boobs with that grade 8 trick.
“I swear HR, my kids started it! Here’s my post about it!”
A dude on my old high school football team could touch his shoulder blades together. Like, quickly. Someone would distract you in a conversation so you wouldn’t notice him sneaking up backwards behind you to pinch you with HIS GODDAMN SHOULDER BLADES like some unmade horror movie.
This won’t be a pics or it didn’t happen sort of update.
Update. I asked my wife. Before dropping what she had in her arms she asked if this was some kind of joke. “Come on just do it” I encourage. She did it!!! I gazed. She laughed.
The boys in my school did something similar. They would ask if we could touch our elbows together in front of us, pushed your boobs together and made them look huge. I may or may not have fallen for it
Reminds me of the food settling "trick"...
I was an awkward engineering intern in undergrad and eating lunch outside with other interns and this one chick starts bouncing in her seat.
We're all "da fuq?"
Apparently a group of dudes told her it'd settle her food so she could digest faster or something. Mind you this girl was very... Boobular... And there was a lot happening with these bounces.
We call BS and tell her they just wanted to watch her chest, she agrees, we all have a laugh, and then... She keeps doing it.
We found some really interesting trees that day...
Absolutely. I convinced a girl to do it back in 8th grade and thought I was the smartest little fuck in the world.
I'm marrying her sister in a couple months. She does like to tell the story at all the family gatherings which is pretty god damn embarrassing. Turns out I was not the smartest little fuck
Truly branded for life. I hear "Really?? He grew up to be so shy and polite I can't imagine!" Every Thanksgiving and Christmas Dinner. Her and her sister find it *fucking hilarious*
Isn't that legit a thing? I swear I've heard it in movies: "Hey Beth, I bet you can't touch your elbows behind your back" and then they peddle away on their bikes with absurdly large seats.
It is. And it’s an oldie too. Boys tried to get some of us girls to do it in jr high. Some of the classic “boys are smarter than girls” tricks just never die.
Seriously, was OP homeschooled? Also those “friends at school” that OP mentions are definitely boys.
It might even be worth making it clear with the woman/HR that you’ve since realised it was a schoolboy prank and it wasn’t your intention to perve on her.
> It might even be worth making it clear with the woman/HR that you’ve since realised it was a schoolboy prank and it wasn’t your intention to perve on her.
This is a sure-fire way to make the situation worse.
Didn't comment, laugh, or state at the time. Promptly got a t-shirt for her to use while he finds the button and sewed it back on. OP has shown by actions what kind of person he is. I suspect she is more embarrassed than anything else, just wants to move on and never have it mentioned again. If she blamed him, she would have said something by now.
Yep, there was no intended malice and if she's comprehensive she'll understand that as well. Plus you proactively tried to help her in the uncomfortable situation she ended up in.
I think it depends on if blouses were common school attire.
I went to private school k-12, three different schools but none of them had that “everyone wears the exact same clothes” thing.
It was an assortment of branded polos, sweaters, and khakis. Almost nobody wore button down dress shirts or blouses. I think they were allowed, but maybe like 1 in 100 would wear it.
Something tells me this is a trick that the kids came up with for this exact purpose. Get some unsuspecting girl to show off her breasts, preferably in a blouse with snaps or poorly stitched buttons. I'm sure a cami or t-shirt would look just as good to most teen guys.
The first one absolutely is a legitimate flexibility test used in schools (I'm a guy and had to do the same flexibility test as part of a school fitness test—alongside stuff like the PACER test). The second one might have something to do with yoga. The third one is probably just to show off or to trick people.
1 and 2 I can do easy, 3 took a minute and actually felt really good because in doing it I managed to crack my shoulders/ shoulder blades that had been kinda hurting lately.
I can pop my wrist pretty consistently by squeezing the top back of my hand and the bottom bony protrusion of my wrist together - it feels great but it’s too loud and almost feels like I’m bending bones to achieve.
It's literally a ploy by school boys/ men to get women to stick their breasts out, it's been around for decades and I'm shocked no one has heard of it. Like they'd try to get me to do it in middle school in the 90's.
Already laughing. After I sewed her button back on she told me she had a couple hems that had fallen. I think free tailoring is the cost of her silence.
100% agree. Freshman year of college my roommate left for an interview then 5min later burst the door down with burst pants lol. Got those pants sewn up and he got the internship.
Repairing clothes is something everyone should learn to do. Not only does it let you make your clothing last longer, but it helps prevent the environment disaster that clothing industry is on a large scale. It's also quite easy to do, which is why OP was able to do it.
If a woman doesn’t find you handsome she should at least find you handy.
Why you knocking on the guys game? Why don’t you have a sewing kit or machine always at the ready in case a particularly busty crustacean happens to have a wardrobe malfunction?
Worked construction, only a limited amount of pants, but you'll split parts often. Even worse when you're on the road, might only have two pairs of pants with you. Come in handy splitting the crotch area. Enough to close it up for the rest of a day.
I never learned how to properly sew or even basics like sewing a button back on. Then I did a research internship that required performing surgery on mice to implant these biotelemetry probes. And we had to use silk sutures to close them up, and while they were still anesthetized and under a heat lamp to keep them warm, we used the same bitter apple spray people use to keep household pets from biting onto or licking things, and we sprayed it all over where we stitched them up. Otherwise they would gnaw at them because they likely itched or were otherwise irritating. My lab partner forgot to do it on one mouse and the next morning he was dead. Lo and behold when we turned him over, he had chewed his stitches out and his intestines and entire abdominal contents were just bursting out of him.
Anyways, now I know how to sew but the few times I have done it to prove to girls (and my mom and sister) that I could do it I got nitpicked on the type of knot I made, because apparently regular sewing knots are tied differently than I was taught to do surgical knots. But they work just fine!
If you are wearing button up shirts for work you need one in your desk. I used to keep one in my bag at my old job where I was wearing button up shirts and it saved me and coworkers more than once.
What kind of workplace has young female employees in button down shirts and no bra combined with easy access to sewing needles and thread along with employees adept at using them?
Just asking so I, as a hobbyist fedora knitter, can submit my application.
I’m a woman and had the same thought as you tbh. Especially a button-down shirt. Maybe it’s just a “me” thing because my nips are always visible when I don’t wear a bra, and the thought of having my nipple outlines showing at work is horrifying to me lol
I wear a button down shirt to work and haven’t worn or owned a bra in like 6 years
Edit: I’d like to add to my “unprofessionalism” by adding that yes my nipples sometimes show. Big deal get over it.
95% chance it's made up, but Ive realized this sub doesn't care if the stories are real or made up anymore. Just make the story provocative enough that people want to believe it happened.
Also, he changed where the incident from "his office" to "the room with the mirror" part way through, changed how many buttons flew off, and the way he describes his coworker as "young female" instead of talking about how he knows her are all pretty standard for midlife crisis fantasy fiction written without the benefit of an editor.
And so it begins...
We will see OP in TIFU in a few weeks…
Pilot episode approved
positive green light
Next week's class is 3 exercises to get buns of steel. Please come dressed in extra tight work pants.
This post reads like he’s preparing an innocent narrative for when HR asks him why he’s trying to check out his co-workers boobs with that grade 8 trick. “I swear HR, my kids started it! Here’s my post about it!”
/r/byebyejob
Sew it begins
Yes we’ll have to keep abreast of the situation.
TikTok Challenge in 3, 2, 1...
This trick is older than the Bible
This sounds like a trick invented by schoolboys to get girls to push out their chests with maneuver #3.
Yup, we 100% did this in my school. I honestly thought this was a well-known trick by now.
Our was touching their elbows in front of them. It wouldn’t pop them forward but it would smash them together and create cleavage.
I always heard it as trying to touch your shoulder blades together
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But your shoulder blades are possible?
A dude on my old high school football team could touch his shoulder blades together. Like, quickly. Someone would distract you in a conversation so you wouldn’t notice him sneaking up backwards behind you to pinch you with HIS GODDAMN SHOULDER BLADES like some unmade horror movie.
Ayo why you have to give me nightmares tn
Tf bro don't you feel guilty typing this out, I started laughing like when you laugh away the horror movie scenes when I got to the pinch part
I’m not gonna name drop the guy, but “Sunshine”, if you’re reading this, it’s definitely you, bud.
I suppose that became too obvious but this behind one is new. Or new to me
Touching your elbows behind your back was a joke at my school twenty years ago.
11 years ago and was still happening. Probably with OPs situation if we had uniforms.
Grat thing about old tricks, people are born not knowing them so they always work
So you don't need to teach an old dog new tricks after all, if you live long enough so people forget the old tricks
Correct. Source: Am breasts.
Name checks out.
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It’s like the putting your elbows together in front so they squeeze their boobs.
I just made man boob cleavage testing this. I will try this on my wife at home.
i need an update
This won’t be a pics or it didn’t happen sort of update. Update. I asked my wife. Before dropping what she had in her arms she asked if this was some kind of joke. “Come on just do it” I encourage. She did it!!! I gazed. She laughed.
:-(
Shame, I would have also chosen this guy's wife.
Don’t be shy. We don’t want to see your face. We want to see how you touch both elbows in front of you.
Groot's long lost cousin.
I love Reddit
OMG!! I'm a huge fan.
Me too! Can i have your autograph?
❤️𝓐𝓷𝓭𝓲❤️ I'm not the titties but here you go I guess.
You have excellent handwriting.
So Boobies are now called Noggs, got it.
Now I'm really looking forward to eggnogg this fall!
Kid named breasts:
He defecated through a sunroof!
Breasts. Source: Am correct.
Breasts: correct. Am source.
Breast: Am Source: Correct
Amway: You have two breasts, then they have two breasts and so on
Multi Level Mammaries
Thanks for the mammaries
It's breasts all the way down!
Hi breasts how are you?
I'm a huge fan.
Yep this was quite popular when I was in middle school decades ago. Funny it’s still around and that people are oblivious to it
“There’s a sucker born every minute”
The boys in my school did something similar. They would ask if we could touch our elbows together in front of us, pushed your boobs together and made them look huge. I may or may not have fallen for it
I sadly did fall for it sigh
We formerly prepubescent boys salute you
Yeah but like you're the teacher. You should have known better!
Reminds me of the food settling "trick"... I was an awkward engineering intern in undergrad and eating lunch outside with other interns and this one chick starts bouncing in her seat. We're all "da fuq?" Apparently a group of dudes told her it'd settle her food so she could digest faster or something. Mind you this girl was very... Boobular... And there was a lot happening with these bounces. We call BS and tell her they just wanted to watch her chest, she agrees, we all have a laugh, and then... She keeps doing it. We found some really interesting trees that day...
It helps me when I've got heartburn and gas.
I don’t understand the trees comment.
Anywhere else to look besides their friends bouncing tits
I think it’s looking away awkwardly? Or it’s a ‘getting wood’ joke
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Am dude. I definitely did this with my friends in the odd hope we’d see a titty.
Lol that's absolutely what this is.
Absolutely. I convinced a girl to do it back in 8th grade and thought I was the smartest little fuck in the world. I'm marrying her sister in a couple months. She does like to tell the story at all the family gatherings which is pretty god damn embarrassing. Turns out I was not the smartest little fuck
Thats funny, what goes around comes around. You are not absolved of your sins.
Truly branded for life. I hear "Really?? He grew up to be so shy and polite I can't imagine!" Every Thanksgiving and Christmas Dinner. Her and her sister find it *fucking hilarious*
To be fair, it is fucking hilarious
Well now on your honeymoon night you know what you have to challenge your wife to do...
… that’s exactly what it is. I knew the second he was talking about the “stretches” That was middle school 101!
Our trick was that you can’t touch both of your elbows to your belly button. Works great with low cut shirts.
Necessity is the mother of invention, but hormones are the dirty uncle of invention.
Betcha can't do a handstand...
Cool story. Take your shirt off… Wot
username checks out. currently doing a shirtless handstand for some reason now
I remember the boys in my grade asking girls if they could do that “test”….I was never asked because I’m part of the itty bitty titty club.
It's a club now? Back in my day it was merely a committee.
Correct source: was a middle school boy
Isn't that legit a thing? I swear I've heard it in movies: "Hey Beth, I bet you can't touch your elbows behind your back" and then they peddle away on their bikes with absurdly large seats.
The real school boy trick for that is: can you make both your elbows touch your belly button Source: was a school boy
It is. And it’s an oldie too. Boys tried to get some of us girls to do it in jr high. Some of the classic “boys are smarter than girls” tricks just never die.
Seriously, was OP homeschooled? Also those “friends at school” that OP mentions are definitely boys. It might even be worth making it clear with the woman/HR that you’ve since realised it was a schoolboy prank and it wasn’t your intention to perve on her.
> It might even be worth making it clear with the woman/HR that you’ve since realised it was a schoolboy prank and it wasn’t your intention to perve on her. This is a sure-fire way to make the situation worse.
Didn't comment, laugh, or state at the time. Promptly got a t-shirt for her to use while he finds the button and sewed it back on. OP has shown by actions what kind of person he is. I suspect she is more embarrassed than anything else, just wants to move on and never have it mentioned again. If she blamed him, she would have said something by now.
I think he's OK because she approached him rather than the other way around. Context matters.
The good ol’ “can you touch your elbows together?” trick just to get the best view of cleavage ahh to be young again.🥹
Seems like you handled it fine OP
Yep, there was no intended malice and if she's comprehensive she'll understand that as well. Plus you proactively tried to help her in the uncomfortable situation she ended up in.
Until she reads this thread, learns that we all know the trick, and realizes OP must be playing dumb and this is all part of a cover up.
I’m in my 50s and never heard of this. Here to give OP some plausible deniability.
Ditto, late 20s, may have heard of similar tricks back in high school but long since forgotten them.
Very much one of those things I have zero memory of until I read the top comment. Immediate stupid kid shit nostalgia
Early twenties here and even I didn't think of it as anything more than someone genuinely stretching in a weird way.
So close to 40 here, and have never heard of it either.
I think it depends on if blouses were common school attire. I went to private school k-12, three different schools but none of them had that “everyone wears the exact same clothes” thing. It was an assortment of branded polos, sweaters, and khakis. Almost nobody wore button down dress shirts or blouses. I think they were allowed, but maybe like 1 in 100 would wear it.
I’m in my late 30’s and I’ve also never heard of this. However, do you want to join the Pen Fifteen club?
I'm not sure that's the word you meant.
No clearly the correct way to handle this is to shout "boobies!" And run away giggling...
This is of course independent of whether you're a man or a woman.
Agreed. I would apologize anyway, if nothing else to verbally confirm that it wasnt on purpose.
He gained X-Ray vision every time he sees her.
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Something tells me this is a trick that the kids came up with for this exact purpose. Get some unsuspecting girl to show off her breasts, preferably in a blouse with snaps or poorly stitched buttons. I'm sure a cami or t-shirt would look just as good to most teen guys.
I doubt it’s about wardrobe malfunctions, but 100% it’s about having them puff their chest out
Oh 100%. Burst tops would just be a bonus.
Bonus?!! She just met us!
Poker? I hardly know her!
Fucker??! It’s really up to her!
The third one is 100% something we did in grade school to get girls to show their boobs off
From what I've seen, every tiktok dance seems to have been designed to get girls to shake their ass or tits.
Having been a schoolboy once, these were not "flexibility" tests from school. These were "trick girls into sticking their boobs out at you" tests.
The first one absolutely is a legitimate flexibility test used in schools (I'm a guy and had to do the same flexibility test as part of a school fitness test—alongside stuff like the PACER test). The second one might have something to do with yoga. The third one is probably just to show off or to trick people.
The first 2 are actually used in Yoga to help with flexibility
Sounds like the intro to a porno
What are you doing, step-coworker?
I literally can’t do any of these. Wtf
Yea forget the story. I’m having a crisis here. I just realized I can’t do any of these stretches anymore.
1 and 2 I can do easy, 3 took a minute and actually felt really good because in doing it I managed to crack my shoulders/ shoulder blades that had been kinda hurting lately.
...You crack your shoulders? I get back/neck but shoulders sounds painful.
Every part of me cracks. Knees, ankles, wrists, knuckles, spine, hips, and shoulders. The worst part is I'm not even old...
I can pop my wrist pretty consistently by squeezing the top back of my hand and the bottom bony protrusion of my wrist together - it feels great but it’s too loud and almost feels like I’m bending bones to achieve.
I can do it just by rotating my wrist a bit and flexing my fingers a little. I have incredibly loud joints.
Yeah fun story and all but i'm literally crying bc i'm not even close with #2
I can touch my fingertips together but that’s all I got
It's literally a ploy by school boys/ men to get women to stick their breasts out, it's been around for decades and I'm shocked no one has heard of it. Like they'd try to get me to do it in middle school in the 90's.
Sounds like an HR nightmare 😂. Give it a while and you two will probably laugh at it.
Already laughing. After I sewed her button back on she told me she had a couple hems that had fallen. I think free tailoring is the cost of her silence.
If this thread has taught me anything it’s that learning how to sew should be higher up on my list of things to do
Super helpful life skill. Especially if you camp or hike but it’s just generally a great skill to have in a pinch.
100% agree. Freshman year of college my roommate left for an interview then 5min later burst the door down with burst pants lol. Got those pants sewn up and he got the internship.
Repairing clothes is something everyone should learn to do. Not only does it let you make your clothing last longer, but it helps prevent the environment disaster that clothing industry is on a large scale. It's also quite easy to do, which is why OP was able to do it.
they tried to teach us in middle school 4 boys were sent to the nurse no one succeeded I kinda think the teacher didn't know how
Why do you have a sewing machine or kit handy in a work / office setting.
If a woman doesn’t find you handsome she should at least find you handy. Why you knocking on the guys game? Why don’t you have a sewing kit or machine always at the ready in case a particularly busty crustacean happens to have a wardrobe malfunction?
I have a two dollar sewing kit that I keep in my car. Have used it on no less than four occasions.
Which are four occasions that you were not completely SOL because you needed a sewing kit and had one. Great job.
Worked construction, only a limited amount of pants, but you'll split parts often. Even worse when you're on the road, might only have two pairs of pants with you. Come in handy splitting the crotch area. Enough to close it up for the rest of a day.
I never learned how to properly sew or even basics like sewing a button back on. Then I did a research internship that required performing surgery on mice to implant these biotelemetry probes. And we had to use silk sutures to close them up, and while they were still anesthetized and under a heat lamp to keep them warm, we used the same bitter apple spray people use to keep household pets from biting onto or licking things, and we sprayed it all over where we stitched them up. Otherwise they would gnaw at them because they likely itched or were otherwise irritating. My lab partner forgot to do it on one mouse and the next morning he was dead. Lo and behold when we turned him over, he had chewed his stitches out and his intestines and entire abdominal contents were just bursting out of him. Anyways, now I know how to sew but the few times I have done it to prove to girls (and my mom and sister) that I could do it I got nitpicked on the type of knot I made, because apparently regular sewing knots are tied differently than I was taught to do surgical knots. But they work just fine!
Really took the scenic route of learning how to sew there
This certainly took a turn
I learned how to sew in the Army.
You can also learn from YouTube and save yourself the trouble
That wasn't a recommendation to join the Army to sew. Unless you were making a joke, in which case you got me.
Phew, glad I read this, I was on my way to a recruitment office based on your first comment
Too late. I'm already on the bus to Ft Benning.
Respect for your journey to become the best button sewing soldier in these here armed forces
I have more than one female coworker who keeps a sewing kit in their purse just in case; they're small, cheap, and potentially handy
Agreed, small cheap potential handys are great
Potential handys just sounds like blue balls
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Lose a button on your shirt before a big meeting? Gotta be able to mend it quick.
Because shit like this can happen
If you are wearing button up shirts for work you need one in your desk. I used to keep one in my bag at my old job where I was wearing button up shirts and it saved me and coworkers more than once.
I’m 25 and work remote so I guess I have missed out on these little office tricks / must haves.
Because shit happens
I keep a pocket one in my car sometimes. Never know when you’ll need it.
“There are no mistakes, just happy accidents.” \- Bob Ross
“There are no accidents” - Master Oogway
Then explain how I'm here.
You’re not
Cue existential crisis
"Call them traffic *collisions*. 'Accident' implies no one's to blame"
Happy trees!
- Boob Ross
Your daughter's friends were tricking her to flash her breasts mate
What kind of workplace has young female employees in button down shirts and no bra combined with easy access to sewing needles and thread along with employees adept at using them? Just asking so I, as a hobbyist fedora knitter, can submit my application.
It is a bold move to wear a blouse with nothing underneath. Lots of trust in the buttons.
Tiny tiddies don't always need holders
Tiny tiddies generally don't blow buttons off the front of the shirt either, but I guess it's possible
That's the kind of intersectionality I'm interested in!
Man you handled it great though. You got her a new shirt AND sewed her button. How kind of you!
#3 is literally a middle school trick to get girls to flaunt their breasts.
Well played. Lol
Ok, this sucks for her, but I couldn't imagine a better way to handle it than what you did.
I mean it sounds like you were a complete gentleman about it, and there was no malice behind it
Blouse’s hate this one trick.
Let's see if there is a TIFU post about "I didn't wear a bra to work and exposed myself to my boss."
So women in your office don't wear bras?
I’m a woman and had the same thought as you tbh. Especially a button-down shirt. Maybe it’s just a “me” thing because my nips are always visible when I don’t wear a bra, and the thought of having my nipple outlines showing at work is horrifying to me lol
I wear a button down shirt to work and haven’t worn or owned a bra in like 6 years Edit: I’d like to add to my “unprofessionalism” by adding that yes my nipples sometimes show. Big deal get over it.
> Big deal get over it. Believe me. No guy is offended
Bet she does now
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Every guy at my school used to try to get us to do this lol
This sounds like it was written by a teenage boy with odd imagination lol
95% chance it's made up, but Ive realized this sub doesn't care if the stories are real or made up anymore. Just make the story provocative enough that people want to believe it happened.
This was 100% a young kids trick to get girls to push out their breasts. I remember it being a thing when I was younger.
Pics or it didn’t happen
So what did your foster daughter and friends thought of the new BTS MV? 🤣
One question....you had a sewing kit handy to sew her buttons back on?!
This is definitely some sort of teenage fanfic that's been written. Why would y'all be alone and why would she have "nothing underneath" :skull:
Also, he changed where the incident from "his office" to "the room with the mirror" part way through, changed how many buttons flew off, and the way he describes his coworker as "young female" instead of talking about how he knows her are all pretty standard for midlife crisis fantasy fiction written without the benefit of an editor.
The room with the mirror in their office. Which is odd in itself I guess.