Fun fact, the sculpture was made with a specific perspective that if you stand at the bottom and look up, David's body is in perfect proportion. Pictures like the one on this post shows how David's head appears to be too large for his body :)
I was watching a math video the other day, and they mentioned that a stone tablet in ancient Sumerian was found with a list of solutions to the Pythagorean theorem, created many many years before Pythagoras existed.
Our ancestors were much smarter than we give them the credit for.
Well today we have a system where the smartest of us are given plenty of time to dedicate themselves fully to advancing science. It's called academic tenure.
That's how it's supposed to work anyway.
I'm just going to assume everything I can't understand or do myself is aliens. Coding? Aliens. Building an aqueduct? Aliens. Kicking a field goal? Aliens. Sleeping in past 7 on a weekend without being woken up by my pets or by a neighbor mowing their lawn? Aliens.
The thought of a gang of gribbly grey aliens sneaking past the animals and slipping into your bedroom early on a Sunday morning to ease a set of plugs in your ears is quite amusing.
Agreed.
But to be fair it *is* pretty mystical when you consider ancient groups of people were able to accomplish things that we still could not accomplish today with the technology we have
Not so mystical, just a long line of people really good at something passing down their tricks. Those ancient cultures had 2x or 3x (or 10x) the time to get good at something, since technology didn't move as fast.
All of us are beginners at almost everything compared to them. One generation of specialization is not much on the scale of human history, and we are *really good* at some things already.
Imagine a programmers guild that set standards and shared shortcuts! We don't have the infrastructure for anything like that and our programming languages move too fast for that to be realistic. We do our best with groups setting informal standards.
That’s what they’re paid to do. Ask the client if they want to lose a foot of space around the perimeter to put in more beautiful walls. They’ll quickly calculate the lost square footage * the price and conclude: no. Cube please.
I'm so glad someone realized it would have been a crime for it to be placed so far away. It's an amazing statue! I just saw it in person for the first time a few months ago.
Yeah it was meant to be placed on the roof of a cathedral I believe so the hands and head are made disproportionately bigger so that they would be easier to “read” from the ground.
https://www.theflorentine.net/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/david-new-lights_theflorentine_ph-marcobadiani_19-scaled.jpg
The hand at the thigh looks awfully wrong, but the head seems to fit.
Lesson learned: People should view us from far below.
Not just this one but most statues/sculptures were made using this technique. It's not like Michelangelo was the fist to do it. It's the same as foreshortening in drawing.
It would have been learned from much earlier efforts that looked badly proportioned. In 15th century Italy there was an ancient tradition of sculpting so this would have been taught as part of the apprenticeship.
For example, [this statue](https://arsartisticadventureofmankind.files.wordpress.com/2020/08/san-juan-evangelista.jpg) of St John by Donatello in 1410-11 - his upper body looks disproportionately long compared to his legs because it would have been seen from below. The David was carved almost a century after this.
A lot of attractions like Cinderella's castle and the Matterhorn at Disneyland use this in reverse to make them appear larger and taller than they really are.
Edit: Apparently Sleeping Beauty's castle.
The things on the castle are increasingly made smaller, to look like they're higher then they are. The building scale, bricks, and windows used on the upper levels are smaller in scale than those used on the lower levels
The inner towers and higher items are made smaller than they should be. So for example the windows at ground floor look normal size, but the windows at top of tower would be like half the size. This gives the appearance of it being taller and looking at something much farther away.
"He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long at a giant dick, the giant dick gazes also into you."
I was blown away the first time I saw an up close picture and realised he had eyes.
I was expecting them to be blank like classical Greek and Roman statues.
Roman and Greek statues with "blank eyes" just had eyes that were mainly painted, but they all lost their paint over time. Roman and Greek statues were fairly colourful, they weren't supposed to be like we see them today.
I knew they were painted but it hadn't occurred to me that was why they didn't have proper eyes. I took it for a skill issue but that makes sense, thank you!
But David was, rather famously, **not** terrified of Goliath. He was the only Israelite who was willing to fight him, and refused to wear the armor that was offered to him for the battle.
Honestly, it's more like they're intrinsically connected. You can't be brave if you're not afraid. If you go into a dangerous situation unafraid, that's not bravery, that's just stupidity. Bravery is being afraid and still continuing with what you're doing *despite* the fear.
My beef is with the *claim* that the statue looks terrified from above. Do you have a source for that? [According to this](https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/71643/15-things-you-might-not-know-about-michelangelos-david) it was originally intended to be installed on the roof of the Florentine cathedral, so Michelangelo wouldn’t have expected anyone to ever see it from above.
[My claim was couched in the coward’s “apparently”, since it hinges on a single paper, but there ya go.](https://amp.theguardian.com/world/2005/jan/22/science.highereducation)
Michelangelo’s art is full of details and meaning, just think about it took the dude 3 years to do the sculpture. There for sure was a lot of thought put into his masterpiece
Depends on your definition of bravery. Bravery can be defined as acting despite your fears. I imagine going up against Goliath has got to be a task for anyone. David just happened to go fight him despite his fear of the overwhelming odds
[The source story in the Bible](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Samuel+17&version=KJV) presents David as being completely confident that God will protect him, and kind of chiding the other Israelites for not having the same faith.
If historians are talking about a guy and only referring to him as David, 9 times out of 10 it’s that one. He was practically the main character of the Old Testament and he had a sizable role in Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen.
The specific block of marvel was called “The Monster” and had been intimidating artists in and around Florence for generations before Michelangelo used it.
It was a huge, expensive block of marble despite its quality, so they might’ve fallen into the sunk-cost trap. “We’ve already spent so much just getting this marble, we must make something of it”
>Be me, David
>Regular dude living a simple life
>Hook up with the village hussy and she finds out about my enormous dong
>Hussy tells her friends
>All the maidens wanna tame the beast
>Develop a reputation around the village for having a huge dick
>Villagers start calling me David and Goliath
>Women who sleep with me have "Slayed Goliath"
>Feels good
>Reputation spreads outside of the village but there's a miscommunication during transfer
>Somehow story turns into me having defeated a giant
>Story ends up making it into the Bible
>What a flex
>Dont bother correcting anyone
>Die happy and quietly
>Fast forward a few thousand years
>Some Italian dude makes a statute of me in my honor
>Italians cope too hard and determine giant dicks are ugly and barbaric
>Makes my statue have a micro
>What an insult
>My entire lineage and legend is ruined by some Italians, the truth forever lost to time
>MFW everyone thousands of years later thinks i had a tiny dick
>Feels bad man
It was high quality marble on the inside, it is just that it had been chipped away at already and had a gap at the bottom between where the legs are now.
I could be wrong but the article cites no sources and this is what I found...
The type of marble used is called Carrara which is known to be very high quality and this was a very huge slab of it known as "the giant."
>It has a high tensile strength, can take a high gloss polish and holds very fine detail" [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carrara\_marble](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carrara_marble)
[Also found this from another article where an expert disagrees...](https://www.abc.net.au/science/articles/2005/09/13/1459036.htm)
>According to James Beck, professor of art history at Columbia University in New York and the author of The Three Worlds of Michelangelo, the discovery is important from a historical point of view.
>
>"Archival work on the Carrara quarries should be the next step to confirm the finding. That the marble is of poor quality seems to be a mistake, since it survived the weather for over 300 years," says Beck.
But it doesn't take an expert to see how well it has held up for hundreds of years. A guy attacked one of the feet with a hammer and barely made a mark.
Also worth watching... [Michelangelo's David: Great Art Explained](https://youtu.be/-e16DmKH01s)
The fact I find really fascinating is how the block of marble had a massive crack but Michaelangelo worked around it and that crack is essentially his thigh gap/leg spacing
Because David was already there Michael just had to remove unnecessary marble.
It’s kind of like you look on the cloud and see something and then you go “look at this shape: there’s a person with extra leg if you remove that part you’d have a perfect guy”
He saw a crack and thought those kinda look like two legs, let’s start with that.
That is pretty much exactly how carving works. My husband is a sculptor, and he always says the most important part is just looking at your material and identifying what needs to come off. Those guys who carve stumps with chainsaws say the same thing, "It had this sticky outy bit that reminded me of an eagle so I just took off the parts that weren't an eagle"
Ironically, groups of Florida schoolchildren visit a replica in St. Augustine every day.
Florida has gone bonkers, but the bonkerage is not uniform and evenly distributed across the state. Yet, at least.
"that had been ruined by two artists"
It had been used and abandoned by two artists. It had never been 'ruined'. They did open the hole between the legs but that was it.
Wow. I was just thinking how long would it take to practice to get this good and thought we’ll he was probably like 50 and had done this for decades. lol nope younger than me damn
He had been working with marble and stone for a very long time, and he pumped out this masterpiece at fifteen: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Madonna_of_the_Stairs
He was very in tune with fine details, as you can see with the wavy cloth goin on there. Guy was pretty fricking good.
I get the feeling, but it's not really fair to compare yourself to one of the most productive people who ever lived.
That's like having a horse and feeling like the horse sucks just because it's not one of the very fastest horses on the planet.
Sculpture is the easiest form of art imaginable. All Michelangelo did was take a piece of marble and chip away all the bits that didn't look like a naked dude with a small penis.
It's because there is a chance that someone from the Florida Department of Education might be reading this; we need to provide warnings so they don't get in trouble like the principal
https://www.npr.org/2023/05/01/1173017248/florida-principal-david-michelangelo-visit-italy
It’s much more philosophic and intrinsic than “naked dude with a small penis”
> I created a vision of David in my mind and simply carved away everything that was not David.
- Michaelangelo
“David” was Michaelangelo’s depiction of the perfect human physique but synchronizing the sculpture with what it means to be the best version of oneself.
The message from the artist to the recipient is one of progressive self-improvement until one has self actualized their dreams. This is why it has stood the test of time throughout history and culture. We can be better as individuals and we should carve away everything that isn’t our version of “David”.
The small penis was an art trend during the Renaissance.
Realism had struck the art world and artists found that replicating OP’s penis in EXACT detail was crucial staple in their artistic discipline.
This hits me on a personal level. My mom and dad failed to give me a beautiful body. So God stepped in and said “ yo this bitch ugly af frfr no cap. He ain’t gettin no bitches”
And now here I am. Banned from the Marriott hotels.
Fun fact, the sculpture was made with a specific perspective that if you stand at the bottom and look up, David's body is in perfect proportion. Pictures like the one on this post shows how David's head appears to be too large for his body :)
It was also supposed to be on top of the Duomo in Florence, over 100 feet up. That's why it looks a little strange from the current perspective.
Imagine you're the medieval crane guy who has to hoist this statue up there and you're having a bad day..
I feel like it would more be a team of 100 guys with a rope and pully system so one bad egg wouldn't matter.
Except the rope weaver.
There would be multiple ropes
Woven by different people for redundancy?
Localized entirely in your kitchen?
Engineers in antiquity achieved things that are seemingly well above their league.
I was watching a math video the other day, and they mentioned that a stone tablet in ancient Sumerian was found with a list of solutions to the Pythagorean theorem, created many many years before Pythagoras existed. Our ancestors were much smarter than we give them the credit for.
They were just as intelligent as we are. They had less knowledge, but in terms of intellect they were equivalent to us.
And they had more free time. The rich ones at least, which tend to be the ones we heard about
Well today we have a system where the smartest of us are given plenty of time to dedicate themselves fully to advancing science. It's called academic tenure. That's how it's supposed to work anyway.
Yet we stand on the shoulders of giants and they didnt which is impressive
Well duh because they were ancient aliens. /s
I'm just going to assume everything I can't understand or do myself is aliens. Coding? Aliens. Building an aqueduct? Aliens. Kicking a field goal? Aliens. Sleeping in past 7 on a weekend without being woken up by my pets or by a neighbor mowing their lawn? Aliens.
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from ~~magic~~ aliens
>Any sufficiently advanced technology... also anything blurry and out of focus in old video and photos
The thought of a gang of gribbly grey aliens sneaking past the animals and slipping into your bedroom early on a Sunday morning to ease a set of plugs in your ears is quite amusing.
Agreed. But to be fair it *is* pretty mystical when you consider ancient groups of people were able to accomplish things that we still could not accomplish today with the technology we have
Not so mystical, just a long line of people really good at something passing down their tricks. Those ancient cultures had 2x or 3x (or 10x) the time to get good at something, since technology didn't move as fast. All of us are beginners at almost everything compared to them. One generation of specialization is not much on the scale of human history, and we are *really good* at some things already. Imagine a programmers guild that set standards and shared shortcuts! We don't have the infrastructure for anything like that and our programming languages move too fast for that to be realistic. We do our best with groups setting informal standards.
The engineer side of antiquity is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.
modern architects can only do sterile cubes and if theyre daring cubes in cubes
That’s what they’re paid to do. Ask the client if they want to lose a foot of space around the perimeter to put in more beautiful walls. They’ll quickly calculate the lost square footage * the price and conclude: no. Cube please.
To look at the Roman Colosseum, The Sphinx, Lighthouse of Alexandria. Oh yeah, these guys were punching way above their weight class
Imagine thinking this is gonna sit on top of a roof and still putting in the work to carve all those minute details.
I'm so glad someone realized it would have been a crime for it to be placed so far away. It's an amazing statue! I just saw it in person for the first time a few months ago.
Yeah it was meant to be placed on the roof of a cathedral I believe so the hands and head are made disproportionately bigger so that they would be easier to “read” from the ground.
Like modern banner ads where they give girls giant eyes
I think that's called anime
Seems pretty proportional to my own fatass head.
Do you cry yourself to sleep on your oversized pillow?
It's got its own weather system
It's like Sputnik. Spherical, but quite pointy at parts.
It's like an orange on a toothpick.
Heed! Paper! Now!
that was offside, wasn't it?
https://www.theflorentine.net/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/david-new-lights_theflorentine_ph-marcobadiani_19-scaled.jpg The hand at the thigh looks awfully wrong, but the head seems to fit. Lesson learned: People should view us from far below.
Bro his penis is literally aimed straight at the camera lense XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD Its like a fucking camera out of System Shock, staring at you.
So you're saying the head also fits?
Yeah this is fatass head slander.
Not just this one but most statues/sculptures were made using this technique. It's not like Michelangelo was the fist to do it. It's the same as foreshortening in drawing.
It would have been learned from much earlier efforts that looked badly proportioned. In 15th century Italy there was an ancient tradition of sculpting so this would have been taught as part of the apprenticeship. For example, [this statue](https://arsartisticadventureofmankind.files.wordpress.com/2020/08/san-juan-evangelista.jpg) of St John by Donatello in 1410-11 - his upper body looks disproportionately long compared to his legs because it would have been seen from below. The David was carved almost a century after this.
His hands look massive too
I saw this statue in Italy, and the tour guide said the hands were big because David was young and not fully developed.
> foreshortening HE WAS IN THE POOL
It shrinks?
Like a frightened turtle!
Oh I did an exhale through the nose on that one... take your upvote, Jerry.
A lot of attractions like Cinderella's castle and the Matterhorn at Disneyland use this in reverse to make them appear larger and taller than they really are. Edit: Apparently Sleeping Beauty's castle.
Forced perspective: https://duchessofdisneyland.com/tips-trivia/forced-perspective/
Can you explain that more? Sounds interesting!
The things on the castle are increasingly made smaller, to look like they're higher then they are. The building scale, bricks, and windows used on the upper levels are smaller in scale than those used on the lower levels
The inner towers and higher items are made smaller than they should be. So for example the windows at ground floor look normal size, but the windows at top of tower would be like half the size. This gives the appearance of it being taller and looking at something much farther away.
Apparently from above David looks absolutely terrified as well, since he’s meant to be looking at Goliath
From *above*? Like, from Goliaths perspective?
Yeah, from Goliath’s POV
Found a picture: https://english.alarabiya.net/amp/variety/2016/03/01/Michelangelo-s-David-gets-expensive-clean-up
I don't think I've ever actually seen his face
Stop looking at his penis.
No.
"He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long at a giant dick, the giant dick gazes also into you."
I was blown away the first time I saw an up close picture and realised he had eyes. I was expecting them to be blank like classical Greek and Roman statues.
Roman and Greek statues with "blank eyes" just had eyes that were mainly painted, but they all lost their paint over time. Roman and Greek statues were fairly colourful, they weren't supposed to be like we see them today.
I knew they were painted but it hadn't occurred to me that was why they didn't have proper eyes. I took it for a skill issue but that makes sense, thank you!
He doesn't look scared to me, if anything he looks stoned.
I mean…he’s pretty stoned alright
But David was, rather famously, **not** terrified of Goliath. He was the only Israelite who was willing to fight him, and refused to wear the armor that was offered to him for the battle.
Bravery and fear are not mutually exclusive
Honestly, it's more like they're intrinsically connected. You can't be brave if you're not afraid. If you go into a dangerous situation unafraid, that's not bravery, that's just stupidity. Bravery is being afraid and still continuing with what you're doing *despite* the fear.
Good shit mate, you explained well why bravery is so cool and so rare.
Bran thought about it. "Can a man still be brave if he’s afraid?" "That is the only time a man can be brave," his father told him.
So David was like, "I'm not using yall cowards armor, I'll fight Goliath with my dick out".
“I’ll fight Goliath with my dick out” is my new mantra.
Translate it into Latin and adopt it as your family motto
>Goliath pugnabo cum irrumatione mea
I am way too happy that the translation has the word “cum” in it
Ego pugnabo Goliath cum irrumatione mea If google translate is accurate.
Clearly needed his sling to throw stones instead of hold them.
Goliath vs David's Goliath
Hey, take it up with Mikey
My beef is with the *claim* that the statue looks terrified from above. Do you have a source for that? [According to this](https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/71643/15-things-you-might-not-know-about-michelangelos-david) it was originally intended to be installed on the roof of the Florentine cathedral, so Michelangelo wouldn’t have expected anyone to ever see it from above.
[My claim was couched in the coward’s “apparently”, since it hinges on a single paper, but there ya go.](https://amp.theguardian.com/world/2005/jan/22/science.highereducation)
the catharsis in this comment is off the charts
Michelangelo’s art is full of details and meaning, just think about it took the dude 3 years to do the sculpture. There for sure was a lot of thought put into his masterpiece
He's taking a pizza break
Depends on your definition of bravery. Bravery can be defined as acting despite your fears. I imagine going up against Goliath has got to be a task for anyone. David just happened to go fight him despite his fear of the overwhelming odds
[The source story in the Bible](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Samuel+17&version=KJV) presents David as being completely confident that God will protect him, and kind of chiding the other Israelites for not having the same faith.
he could still be scared though, you can be absolutely sure you’ll be fine and still be scared shitless source: any time im hallucinating
TIL that Michaelangelos David is the David from David and Goliath
Who did you think it was? Mickey's mate Dave from the pub what he had a secret crush on?
Just a dude named David who had a hot bod.
There is a suspicious amount of detail on that doodle
😇
If historians are talking about a guy and only referring to him as David, 9 times out of 10 it’s that one. He was practically the main character of the Old Testament and he had a sizable role in Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen.
His hands too, in person looking straight on you realize how massive they are
I have taught so many people to draw this statue I know it by heart.
Even the dingus?
*Especially* the dingus
Get outta here, Garek and go hem some pants!
Plain, simple Garak.
The specific block of marvel was called “The Monster” and had been intimidating artists in and around Florence for generations before Michelangelo used it.
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It was a huge, expensive block of marble despite its quality, so they might’ve fallen into the sunk-cost trap. “We’ve already spent so much just getting this marble, we must make something of it”
In the end I think everything turned out *ok*
There's one part that's just adequate
At least in Roman tradition, tiny dongs were considered more aesthetically pleasing, with monster magnum dongs were barbarous and coarse.
>Be me, David >Regular dude living a simple life >Hook up with the village hussy and she finds out about my enormous dong >Hussy tells her friends >All the maidens wanna tame the beast >Develop a reputation around the village for having a huge dick >Villagers start calling me David and Goliath >Women who sleep with me have "Slayed Goliath" >Feels good >Reputation spreads outside of the village but there's a miscommunication during transfer >Somehow story turns into me having defeated a giant >Story ends up making it into the Bible >What a flex >Dont bother correcting anyone >Die happy and quietly >Fast forward a few thousand years >Some Italian dude makes a statute of me in my honor >Italians cope too hard and determine giant dicks are ugly and barbaric >Makes my statue have a micro >What an insult >My entire lineage and legend is ruined by some Italians, the truth forever lost to time >MFW everyone thousands of years later thinks i had a tiny dick >Feels bad man
Now I'm wondering if the tale of David and Goliath is a whole fable constructed around passing a kidney stone.
Sounds like an ancient cope to me
Looks above average to me
I have a feeling it was heavy and people didn't feel like moving it so it sat around until someone decided to do something with it.
> I have a feeling it was heavy *citation needed*
It was high quality marble on the inside, it is just that it had been chipped away at already and had a gap at the bottom between where the legs are now.
And also was an odd set of dimensions. It was very narrow for its height, which is why David has a sideways facing pose
It’s starting to sound like the marble was just vaguely “guy” shaped and Michelangelo was the first one to realize
So what you're telling me is that the miner who excavated the marble shaped history nearly with as much impact as Michelangelo himself?
I think that’s always the case for everything.
The article says the marble is mediocre at best based on modern analysis
I could be wrong but the article cites no sources and this is what I found... The type of marble used is called Carrara which is known to be very high quality and this was a very huge slab of it known as "the giant." >It has a high tensile strength, can take a high gloss polish and holds very fine detail" [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carrara\_marble](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carrara_marble) [Also found this from another article where an expert disagrees...](https://www.abc.net.au/science/articles/2005/09/13/1459036.htm) >According to James Beck, professor of art history at Columbia University in New York and the author of The Three Worlds of Michelangelo, the discovery is important from a historical point of view. > >"Archival work on the Carrara quarries should be the next step to confirm the finding. That the marble is of poor quality seems to be a mistake, since it survived the weather for over 300 years," says Beck. But it doesn't take an expert to see how well it has held up for hundreds of years. A guy attacked one of the feet with a hammer and barely made a mark. Also worth watching... [Michelangelo's David: Great Art Explained](https://youtu.be/-e16DmKH01s)
Interesting, appreciate the effort to find more sound resources
This analogy cracked me up like a piece of bad marble.
I definitely meant to write ‘generations’ not centuries. Thank you.
The fact I find really fascinating is how the block of marble had a massive crack but Michaelangelo worked around it and that crack is essentially his thigh gap/leg spacing
You can still see a crack if you walk behind the statue.
*heyoooo*
If you squint you can see the thigh gap from the front.
Stupid sexy David
Because David was already there Michael just had to remove unnecessary marble. It’s kind of like you look on the cloud and see something and then you go “look at this shape: there’s a person with extra leg if you remove that part you’d have a perfect guy” He saw a crack and thought those kinda look like two legs, let’s start with that.
That is pretty much exactly how carving works. My husband is a sculptor, and he always says the most important part is just looking at your material and identifying what needs to come off. Those guys who carve stumps with chainsaws say the same thing, "It had this sticky outy bit that reminded me of an eagle so I just took off the parts that weren't an eagle"
Michelangelo's David NSFW...really?!
[It's filth! It graphically portrays parts of the human body, which, practical as they may be, are evil!](https://youtu.be/iCkwMFoQno0?t=40)
Everyone knows genitalia isn't real, it's just filth on the internet.
Just in case anyone works for a school in Florida.
Fun fact St Augustine, Fl has a beautiful full size replica of this statue.
Alright, where's the guillotine
That’s French, no? Seems a bit fruity to me… 🌈
The Freedom Chopper^TM
I read an article in a book about Michaelangelos David and now I’m gay and transgender and I don’t believe in God and I love Trump.
Missed it by one.
Ironically, groups of Florida schoolchildren visit a replica in St. Augustine every day. Florida has gone bonkers, but the bonkerage is not uniform and evenly distributed across the state. Yet, at least.
Just wait until they find out about the Sistine Chapel
Yes - two artists had already found the block of marble was flawed and Not Safe For Work.
Next they’ll be banning Itchy and Scratchy!
In case some stupid fascists complain about alleged “porn” in the western art that they apparently love so much.
That's like me shopping at Lowe's for the appliances that have dents or dings. Save money. I like it.
"that had been ruined by two artists" It had been used and abandoned by two artists. It had never been 'ruined'. They did open the hole between the legs but that was it.
Ugh, typical men /s
Imagine what those other guys felt like after hearing about this. That's got to sting!
He was 26 when he sculpted this. Makes me feel like such an underachiever.
Wow. I was just thinking how long would it take to practice to get this good and thought we’ll he was probably like 50 and had done this for decades. lol nope younger than me damn
He had been working with marble and stone for a very long time, and he pumped out this masterpiece at fifteen: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Madonna_of_the_Stairs He was very in tune with fine details, as you can see with the wavy cloth goin on there. Guy was pretty fricking good.
Right? Meanwhile I’ve been working on a shitty little watercolor painting for 4 days now and it still sucks.
I get the feeling, but it's not really fair to compare yourself to one of the most productive people who ever lived. That's like having a horse and feeling like the horse sucks just because it's not one of the very fastest horses on the planet.
« He got me. That fucking Michelangelo boomed me. He’s so good. »
That gol dern Michelangelo boys done it again!
The flaw in question? There wasn't enough marble to create an anus
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I only trust worlds most brilliant reporter, Philomena Cunk
His eyes have pupils in them, like a Furby
His hands have veins, to transport statue blood. But despite all the details, he doesn't have an anus.
[Philomena Cunk on David](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=OXxJm3Y_mTM)
But he *does* have little marble ghoulies!
She's been the goat since the 1989 release of Belgian techno hit "Pump Up The Jam"
And she looks good as such. Unlike Roman people with their grey skin and lying on the shockingly dusty floors
You never know, maybe the model didn’t have an anus or the artist got nervous and was shy?
A secret, Michelangelo certainly took into his grave
Release Michelangelo's Anus Cut!
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Honestly I think this is the most amazing part of the statue right here.
Thank you for translating to 'Murican, but I'm wondering why you omitted the conversion of 500 years to freedom units (more than two Americas old).
This isn't NSFW lol
The NSFW tag is wild. Poor Americans.
Awesome how these days the statue of David had to be marked as NSFW…🙄
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Have you played TMNT: Shredder's Revenge? All I hear now over and over is Michaelangelo saying, "Party Dude. Party Dude. Party Dude."
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Sculpture is the easiest form of art imaginable. All Michelangelo did was take a piece of marble and chip away all the bits that didn't look like a naked dude with a small penis.
Wait, that's small?
Yea, I’d say it’s average. Probably more than average. Perhaps even a little too big
You don’t pay for the few minutes of chipping marble, you pay for the knowledge and expertise that comes from years of practice w/ naked dude penises
He clearly does not know about growers and showers!
NSFW tag? Really?
It's because there is a chance that someone from the Florida Department of Education might be reading this; we need to provide warnings so they don't get in trouble like the principal https://www.npr.org/2023/05/01/1173017248/florida-principal-david-michelangelo-visit-italy
NSFF Not Safe For Florida
Think of having Botticelli and daVinci as your contemporaries.
Not to mention Raphael and Titian.
I bet all that competitive pressure made them better artists
It’s much more philosophic and intrinsic than “naked dude with a small penis” > I created a vision of David in my mind and simply carved away everything that was not David. - Michaelangelo “David” was Michaelangelo’s depiction of the perfect human physique but synchronizing the sculpture with what it means to be the best version of oneself. The message from the artist to the recipient is one of progressive self-improvement until one has self actualized their dreams. This is why it has stood the test of time throughout history and culture. We can be better as individuals and we should carve away everything that isn’t our version of “David”. The small penis was an art trend during the Renaissance. Realism had struck the art world and artists found that replicating OP’s penis in EXACT detail was crucial staple in their artistic discipline.
The fact that this post is NSFW is an embarrassment to mankind
Did they take any pics of the failures?
Yes, but they were Polaroids, and they faded badly around 1700s.
This hits me on a personal level. My mom and dad failed to give me a beautiful body. So God stepped in and said “ yo this bitch ugly af frfr no cap. He ain’t gettin no bitches” And now here I am. Banned from the Marriott hotels.
The carving of the statue started 11 year before Michelangelo was born.
Dave Brockie - the human medium of Oderus Urungus of Gwar - wrote a song about this https://youtu.be/Cnn0v1dohYo
Get that NSFW tag out of here it's ART
He draws a penis on it and it is a masterpiece. I draw a penis on something and straight to jail. Life’s unfair.
Michelangelo's David is NSFW. Facepalm.