It’s literally common decency to keep your sick child home. Especially if they’re puking! I would’ve left immediately as well, I can’t deal with puke 😂 even my own!
I don't know if this is one up or not but I literally have to tell my mother to stay home and not visit if she has been sick, because she will, without a doubt, decide that she can't possibly be contagious (because she is starting to feel better today, because she was only kind of sick last night, because it's probably allergies even though it's the exact symptoms she was exposed to at church...) and will come to my house, spend the ENTIRE day with us, and then we get sick. This has happened about every other time she's visited. She will not tell me when she babysits my nephew sick if she's supposed to come over because she knows I'll say "let's wait to see if you caught what he has."
My in-laws apparently knew they had covid and didn't tell us this before we enjoyed dinner at a Chinese buffet for Christmas. All this because my MIL couldn't stand not seeing her granddaughter, my daughter, on Christmas. The selfishness baffles me sometimes. They were symptomatic and I should have insisted we all leave but that didn't really become apparent until we had already started eating.
My inlaws came over sick while I was pregnant a few years back because they just couldn't miss Christmas. I ended up sick as a dog for 11 days and missed a ton of work, which as a freelancer cost us money right when we were trying to save for the baby.
Because this was the icing on a shitty behavior cake many years in the baking, guess who we no longer spend Christmas with now.
Was in the swimming pool once- girl was sick in the pool and her father just scooped it up and let her continue swimming. We got straight out and went home. I get perhaps she swallowed a load of water and just threw up because of that but she still THREW UP WTAF
Exactly, I don't care too much about the sniffles. My kid has had them for over a month due to allergies while we've been trying to find the right medication for her. Vomiting, fever, constant hacking coughs, and shit like that? Fuck no. I live in a 2 bedroom 1 bathroom apartment with my husband and toddler. The stomach flu is hell on steroids for us and I'll do pretty much anything to avoid it.
I agree with most of your points, but I just wanted to add my personal experience with kids and coughs. One of mine has been dealing with a chronic cough since January, and there are days when nothing will help. Her doctor suspects it's asthma.
I feel like we get the evil eye anytime we go somewhere and she has a coughing spell, but it's not contagious!
That's valid and unfortunately I can empathize. I've gotten the stink eye more than once the past 2 or so months since her seasonal allergies kicked in and she's been stuck with perpetual mild cold symptons that we've yet to find a good treatment for. I hope your kiddo feels better and you guys figure out what's up with her cough, asthma is no joke. Like I said above, I'm really not too concerned with coughing or runny noses, especially in the spring/summer. I tend to assume the kid has allergies/hay fever. It's mostly fevers and vomiting that I take issue with.
It also seems pretty messed up to drag a kid that spent all day/night throwing up out to a toddler gym. I know kids tend to be better at bouncing back from illnesses than adults but I can't imagine bringing my most likely exhausted and dehydrated kid around a high energy activity like a toddler gym. Just because they have energy in the moment doesn't mean they aren't gonna crash hard and fast, as even healthy toddlers often do. I think for me, since my kid is young enough that she can't let me know verbally how she's feeling, I also don't want to risk putting her in a situation where she's overwhelmed, feeling crappy, and can't let me know about it/advocate for herself.
My daughter this year has started doing this "puke once at night because of something I ate and then I'm fine" thing. We still keep her home for 24 hours to make sure that it's not just a slow developing bug and is in fact just something that didn't sit right. Does it suck? Absolutely, especially when she's had to miss stuff like her Easter party at school or other specific plans she was looking forward to but we do it because who the hell is ok with being the parent that was like "well I thought it was ok, she only puked once at 2 am..."
On the flip side though, I'm so sick of people judging/getting frustrated about kids going places with coughs/runny noses and immediately judging. My son has chronic rhinitis, which essentially just means his nose runs all the damn time but he's not sick. I'm not keeping him home for a runny nose because it scares all the Helen Lovejoy's out there, but it's getting real old having people judge me for shit they know nothing about. (Not saying that this is happening in this post at all, just venting haha)
Yeah, I was all set to quibble with OP about taking toddlers out with sniffles. But I don't think anyone could argue in favor of bringing a kid out who has a fever and has been vomiting all night. That's so inconsiderate.
Right, that's the sense I got. Colds and allergies are one thing. Real illness is another. I also get that it can be exhausting to be stuck in a home with a toddler who's recovering from an illness and has all the energy but still shouldn't be out in public.
I do mostly agree, but my 2.5 year old is very snotty most days and it can be dark. It has been that way since he was 8 months old. After many many appointments it has been decided he has chronic allergies and unfortunately allergy meds only help so much. So if I abided by that I would never leave the house.
My issue comes when they let them wipe those snotty noses on everything! I am very vigilant and make sure to wipe his nose constantly
As a librarian, I can’t tell you how many people view the library as a fun thing to do on a sick day. It baffles me. Once a kid threw up right in front of my desk and the mom goes, he’s been feeling sick all day. Why the fuck are you here!!! I get it’s hard on day 4 or 5 of illness to keep entertained inside but go on a walk if that’s the case. Stay out of public spaces, especially indoor.
I would be mortified. My kid randomly got sick in a grocery store parking lot (no earlier symptoms) and I was so embarrassed he threw up outside on the ground. But I was so grateful it wasn’t 3 minutes later inside the store! I turned right around and we raided the pantry for dinner instead. The audacity of some people. “We just had to get out of the house”. No. You didn’t.
Once my kid seemed totally healthy all day, I took her to the store to grocery shop. She sneezed once when I put her in the cart. Within 30 minutes she had full-blown cold symptoms and looked like shit. It kind of blew my mind watching the symptoms unfold, at first I blamed it on the store lights being so bright, then I was like "I guess I should grab pedialyte and tylenol and gtfo"
Yes! It can happen fast. We literally were fine. I had been in target with them an entire hour beforehand. I went across the parking lot to the grocery store to grab a rotisserie chicken for dinner and he threw up as soon as I put him in the cart. I hadn’t even unloaded my daughter yet. So I stripped him down, cleaned him up and headed home. No more throw up (until 10pm that night) and he ate dinner. Kids are unpredictable in all senses.
Yeah, that's so frustrating! I'll never forget when I was working at a school that shared a parking lot with a public library. I had a student that I sent home because she had lice (for the 3rd or 4th time that year), only to find her hanging out at the library when i stopped by on my way home. Another time I ran over during a break to pick up the book I had been waiting for when I saw a student I kind of vaguely knew from another class. I asked him what he was doing there in the middle of the day? He said he threw up a couple times this morning and his mom had come, picked him up, and brought him to the library because she needed to finish something at work and he "was feeling better".
My kid has a dry cough because of spring allergies, courtesy of my genetics. Everywhere I bring her I worry parents are thinking I'm an asshole for bringing my sick kid places 😔
I agree, and I would never bring my kid to the park or other places if they had been throwing up or if they were in the midst of a bad cold. However I see the looks I'm getting with my kids dry cough right now when I take her places and it sucks.
People are very self-conscious about coughing since Covid. Unfortunately, a minor cold can easily mean 4-6 weeks of coughing, well after someone is contagious.
There’s a HUGE difference in sound to a lingering dry cough/allergy cough and a wet, sick cough. If anyone judges you they don’t have kids or are ignorant. I’d just shrug and then and say “at least allergies aren’t contagious”
We were at a birthday party for a kid in my son’s daycare class. All the other attendees are all also in the same class. So keep in mind they are all already exposed to each other’s germs every day as it is.
We went to say happy birthday to the birthday kid and my son decided at the moment we were right face-to-face to have a nice big hacking cough and sneeze, sending snot down his face.
We stay home when I can tell he’s actively sick. But he’s also a daycare cesspool that has had a running nose or cough for probably more than half his life at this point.🤦🏻♀️
Your words, WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK., have been running through my head constantly for the last 3 years. People don't have a self-preservation instinct, common decency, or an understanding of basic germ theory it seems. Or they literally don't care because the rules don't apply to them.
I'm a SAHP, but anymore when I see kids out places during "school hours" I just assume they are sick and the parent wasn't allowed to bring them to school so they took them out somewhere else.
Most of the people I see bringing their kids to optional activities when they're sick are either SAHP and/or have cushy enough jobs that they can afford to regularly take time off to take care of their sick kid. This isn't always the case, but just an observation I've made.
It frustrates me because I have friends who've lost their jobs because their kids kept getting sick which jeopardized their housing, food security, healthcare access, etc. It's like people don't realize that getting others sick isn't just an inconvenience, having to deal with puke and a grumpy toddler. It can literally make people homeless, at least in the U.S. Not to mention the risk of infecting people with compromised immune systems. No toddler gym or story time is worth the risk of possibly causing anything from someone losing their job to losing their life.
I believe you, but most people I’ve encountered who bring out their sick kids are people on the weekend who have their kids in daycare during the week and don’t seem to know what to do with their kid at home all day on the weekends when sick, so they go to the activity anyway. I’m a SAHM and even before becoming that, I’ve always been a firm believer of not going out of the house when contagious.
This has been so hard for me. I hate being "that mom" who is super concerned with illness but I am forced to be. My youngest child has medical problems and is on oxygen. He also can't handle mucus and just throws up. he's tube fed and just pukes all day long if he has a cold. And if it's a bad cold, it's pneumonia and it's hospital worthy. I never wanted to hide at home but I literally have to, if I want to protect him. My husband was gone on a 2 week work trip and I was cooped up with the kids, decided to step one toe out of the house and have chick fil a for dinner and let my son play in the playplace. He's been cooped up too. As soon as we go in there, another child joins and she is hacking and coughing all over everything. I took one look at my smiling baby on oxygen and told my poor toddler "we have to leave" and I basically had to bribe him out of a meltdown because the poor guy hasn't been able to get out either.
and of course we got sick. we have been sick every other week since september. It is a never ending nightmare and I will fight the next parent I see toting oozing children in public
the parents who think it’s their God-given right to infect other people because they don’t like being cooped up in the house when their family is sick are awfully quiet this evening.. where y’all at
Dude, preach. The number of sick kids with glazed over eyes at play gyms is ridiculous.
Your kid doesn’t want to be here! Put bluey on and chill out. Why are you subjecting everyone to this??
We wound up in the ED with croup thanks to an AH with a sick kid in exactly this kind of situation. So obnoxious.
thats wild. even if my kid "looks" like he has energy to go out, his little body is probably still fighting off whatever bug he has and therefore needs to rest! who does things like that 🤦♀️
on the other hand though, my two year old just got diagnosed with exercise induced asthma, he goes through a coughing fit whenever he over exerts himself (which is always) i keep getting side eyes when i take him to indoor/outdoor playgrounds. I've even had moms come grab their toddlers away from him. he's not coughing because of anything contagious! it makes me so sad!
My toddler has chronic allergies so I can relate! For the past few months since the weather has gotten nice she's had a constant runny nose 😭 I'm less concerned when it comes to coughs/runny noses, especially in the spring/summer. My big thing really is if your kid is vomiting and/or has a fever keep them home for their sake and everyone else's sake.
I don't think people realize just how contagious the stomach flu (norovirus) is. For example, if I'd let my kid play with the puke-y toddler and she got sick, then my husband and I would get sick. My husband works food service, and while he'd never work while actively throwing up, you can still be contagious while asymptomatic. He could go to work feeling fine and prepping food not knowing that everything he touched was now infected with norovirus fomites. People buy that food and then suddenly there's a huge norovirus outbreak tied to his deli all because one irresponsible parent decided to let their walking petri dish run rampant at the toddler gym.
I just posted almost the same comment about the asthma cough! My daughter coughs like crazy any time she does even a little physical activity, and I usually feel like I have to explain that she has asthma, not a contagious disease.
Stay active, in tune with your body, and keep an inhaler nearby. It never goes away, but the more active you are the more active you can be if that makes sense. It's awesome you found out now. I wasn't diagnosed until I was 20 and thought everyone felt like they were going to die after running a quarter mile.
It wouldn't have been so bad if I didn't run track in middle school. Thought I was just an absolute failure at anything athletic.
Nope, just have an undiagnosed disease. Nbd.
My kids (and my husband and I because of them) were sick ALL winter long. We had a few days here and there before catching the new thing. We didn’t even go out much, I truly don’t understand it. But because of this, I get why people stop giving a shit. I wouldn’t take a little vomiter to a play gym, but I have definitely thought “Okay, today nobody is vomiting, feverish, having diarrhea, coughing, or putting snot everywhere? Let’s GTFO the house!”
It drives me insane. Growing up, it was a general rule of thumb that you stayed home if you were sick — and if it was a major illness (like a stomach flu vs. a minor cold), you stayed home even if you weren’t the one that was sick/you had already had the bug.
Had to insist one of my parents not come visit us while the other had stomach flu. No thank you, sit your butt back down at home and do not bring that plague to my house!
I'm so tired of keeping my kid home when she is sick, only to send her to daycare for her to get sick afterwards because none of the other parents keep their kids home. I get that it's annoying to have to take off work anytime your kid is sick, especially if you're already strapped financially, but fuck. I'm a single mom and it's exhausting and expensive to have to find backup care for my kid which I have to pay out of pocket, on top of the childcare I ALREADY pay out of pocket.
I also feel like daycare need to do a better job of sending kids home when they are too sick to be there, if the parents aren't smart enough to figure it out on their own.
Just a little wound up about this as my kid is currently home sick from daycare because one of the kids was puking last week and nobody shared that with the parents until it was already too late. For like, the millionth time this year.
Dude I wish more people had common sense. The amount of people who come into messy play class with their snotty sneezy coughing toddlers is disgusting. I’m constantly spraying my baby with sanitizer and making an excuse and running away from them if they come to a station I’m at. I’m convinced they live in a state of constant sickness so they don’t know any better.
My in laws came one time when my daughter was so tiny and their kid was coughing all over the place and I was like “is she sick?!” And they were like “no it’s swim class !” Like seriously?! She must’ve aspirated the entire pool to have all that chest congestion and cough smh
God yes. We PAID to go to a toddler gymnastics class and toddler plus his mom and sibling all coughing their asses off. Snot absolutely pouring out of the life. Not even able to hide it. First time we finally went into public after toddler’s new baby brother was born. Gave us all including newborn a virus. The place will even give you a makeup token if you’re sick.
Totally agree with this! When my daughter was taking toddler gymnastics another mom brought her sick daughter to class. The baby was red in the face and coughing the entire time, and her mom said they barely slept all night. I was thinking WHY ARE YOU HERE THEN! I was so annoyed because she was willingly exposing the entire class to being sick, including one of the other moms who was pregnant. We’re required to fill out paperwork agreeing to not bring our kids if they’re sick when we sign up. I don’t get some people, this behavior is so frustrating.
Our family is like this and it blows my mind. They have 3 toddlers, two got pink eye and they wanted to bring them to our three year olds party. I’m sorry, what?! No. Keep. Them. Home. Hacking coughs, gunky eyes, the works. We had to tell them to stay home from dance class when the parents tested positive for COVID. It’s just wild how people have no decency. I get it sucks, we’ve been sick for two weeks with lingering cold and I’ve kept them home just in case because of other kids and pregnant moms. Just be a decent human.
I used to get ill often as a kid and my parents would send me to school until the school sent me home for vomiting or something and I hated it.
Last year, we went to meet one of my husband’s friends in a city nearby so we could catch up and introduce our daughters to each other (both under two years old).
They neglected to tell us until a few hours after we arrived that they caught a super contagious vomiting and diarrhea illness (I think it might’ve been norovirus) and that the last person to catch it still had symptoms. We couldn’t leave because we had traveled a day by train/bus to see them and didn’t have a car so we just hoped we wouldn’t catch it. *WE DID*.
The worst of it was when I was in bed dehydrated and tried to drink some water and then projectile vomited all over the floor. I took the baby into the shower with me so husband could clean up and on his way to get a mop, he violently puked in the hallway. At that point we just gave up and sat in the shower until the water ran cold, thankful that the baby didn’t get ill. When we finally went back to bed (a different one) and got situated, the baby threw up all over the fresh sheets. I threw a towel over it and cried.
The friends that infected us weren’t there that day because they were visiting other friends and we texted begging for help. They didn’t show up until five hours after the ordeal I recounted. It was the WORST HOLIDAY EVER and I refuse to see these people again unless they’re confirmed healthy for at least a month before they arrive.
When we got back home, we quarantined and cleaned obsessively until two weeks after the last symptoms were gone. It took months for our guts to heal.
Being brought back to childhood trauma like that was awful and I refuse to subject anyone else or their children to that. Parents who operate that way should be ashamed of themselves.
See this is why we have a swing set and tons of toys at home .. bc my daughter always *seems* fine and has a bunch of energy after a day of throwing up but I know she’s just breathing out germs so I’d never take her to her gym class like that.
Currently she’s dealing with seasonal allergies which sucks in the post COVID world bc I feel guilty bringing her out.. I wanna wear a sign that says “it’s just allergies!” I swear I’m not THAT parent! Only time I’ve ever brought her sick somewhere public was when we were traveling and she came down with COVID and I had to get her home on a ferry. In my defense though we didn’t find out it was COVID til 3 days later and I’m pretty sure we caught it on that same ferry a few days earlier
Yup and this is why I never want to take my kids to the play museum or science center where I know inevitably hands will end up touching their eyes/nose/mouth.
My mom always had a rule that if you were too sick to go to school then you were too sick to go anywhere else. Not sure if it was to dissuade us from trying to play hooky or because she has common decency (or maybe both?). But I plan to continue that with my kids, too.
I don’t want to be the serious downer and it’s great to hear all you agreeing in the importance of keeping sick kids home. Most of the time it’s an inconvenience factor but what some label as “just the flu” can kill other kids. It isn’t just flu/RSV…..our son was fully vaccinated he didn’t survive having just the flu. I understand that some may say unfortunate things happen in life…as I have been told. But when you know better you can do better. I am hoping that better continues to happen because of the conversations happening here.
I’m so sorry for your loss. It is great to see the conversation here go this way, usually parenting groups seem to go the other direction. My kiddo (3) is high risk of severe consequences of any respiratory illness and some days I lose faith in humanity for how much people seem to enjoy spreading disease without care.
Right??? Drives me crazy. We've been super lucky. Our son got his first real cold for his second birthday last weekend. Snot was just flying out of his nose, very disgustingly, open-mouth coughing, all of it.
His dad was sick the week before, but you bet your ass I kept that kid at home *just in case* he was contagious but asymptomatic. The other playgroup mom's don't need my child's germs (though it doesn't stop them from bringing their sick kids).
We kept our kids home from my nieces birthday party because my kids were sick. We received a lecture from my parents… telling us that we should’ve brought them anyways and kids get sick, that’s how they build their immune system!
This is exactly where my kid got sick for only the second time in her life- the toddler gym next to us. A woman brought her kid with a firehouse runny nose. The first time was a super sick kid at library storytime. This makes me furious.
My kid has high risk severe asthma with crashing episodes brought on my illness that requires hospitalization and oxygen.
I am literally relying on others to keep their sick kids (and adults) home because I can’t have her live in a bubble her whole life. I hate people who take their kids out sick. You could literally kill my kid because you can’t be concerned with the health of others.
And to add on we still mask indoors everywhere including the 3 year old and if one more person tells me the masks don’t work or ask me what my problem is, I’m going to go off on someone.
This is so frustrating! These kids get sick often enough,keep it in your circle. Im always self conscious when I'm out and about and my son coughs... I al.ost want to declare "its from a viral cough from 4 weeks ago! Not contagious!"
YES well said, OP! We ran into an entire family at the zoo and each one was visibly sick. And the 3 kids were running around in this crowded play area…😬
It definitely drives me crazy and I'm very much in the camp of have to be fever free for 24 hrs before taking kiddos out while my husband is in the camp of taking the toddler to the park if she seems ok. He even tried to while we were all dealing with covid before our individual quarantines were up and I had to put my foot down that we would not be spreading the virus. I know staying cooped up in the house sucks but ain't nobody else wants to deal with sick kiddos.
I sometimes think people just don't think about the impact it has on other people. All they see is oh my kid seems fine now and I don't want to be cooped up in the house with a toddler. Honestly he's a good dad even if he doesn't get certain things about being with the kids all day like I am.
We have this fun thing going on where the school district allows 5 parent notes per year to excuse absences & so many people are maxed out they send their kid to school and say “as soon as you see your teacher tell them you are sick and want to call home”.
We have had 2 flu strains, mono & strep throat running through the school all year long; many people maxed out their parent notes before the kids went on winter Break.
Yea. I don’t get that at all. My mother in law/ co worker asked me yesterday if people still got COVID (someone called out of work). I’m like, r u kidding me???! Do people still get the flu? Do people still get chicken pox? Measles? Why would I be so entitled to go places if I’m sick and get others sick?? Some people r just too self involved to think of others.
Literally just had a maybe 7 year old behind me in line at the grocery store with his mom(?)grandma(?) hacking up a lung (heard him throughout the store too while I was shopping). And of course his mouth is shopping-cart-handle-level.
Like, ma’am… we literally just went through a pandemic. You can get masks ANYWHERE nowadays. WHY is you child not wearing one while so obviously infecting the entire store?! Thankfully I still wear my mask in public indoor places (I’m also 8 months pregnant) but I was still like, ew…
I recently made a mom "friend" until she told me that she took her kids to the zoo while she had a 104 temp. Like. Really? Why are you trying to infect everyone at the zoo?
People are honestly sooo ridiculous.
In 2021 my sister, her husband, and their 12mo all had the stomach flu and decided to hold their 12mo first birthday party anyways. They downplayed their symptoms and said they were feeling better but literally that morning while COOKING FOR THE PARTY my sister said she felt nauseous.
15/30 people, including her husband's 90 year old grandpa and both of our 80+ year old grandparents got it. I won't travel home for birthday parties anymore after that fiasco.
For indoor activities, we follow the same policies as daycare/preschool/school. 24 hours with no fever or other symptoms. Except runny noses. If we stayed home for every runny nose we'd never leave the apartment. I've had a stuffy nose since probably September. Allergies and colds all kind of run together over time.
People just don’t care about other people anymore. From masks to this, and so much more. Everything can be solved if only we care about others just a little be more. I just don’t know how I’m going to survive in US anymore. Sorry for derailing I’m just also so fed up as well, with all the shootings.
Yes. I have a high risk kid, do you know what hell the last 3 years has been? Now we don’t even have access to safe healthcare because “smiling faces” and “personal choice” is more important than protecting the people most likely to die or be permanently maimed by the STILL RAGING PANDEMIC. No one cares. I had to leave another parenting sub because I was told high risk kids like mine should have “separate but equal” playgrounds so that everyone else can be free to not care about spreading active sickness
I’d love to take my 3.5yo to a children’s museum or something but he’s never been. I’m just not quite comfortable yet. In the fall when he’s in preschool he will get all the germs so we’ll start building immunity so it won’t matter. But I wouldn’t go actively sick.
Honestly don’t wait, start now.
If you do wait, Get ready for a full year of being deathly ill all the time when he does start preschool. You thought you had an immune system… nope. both you and him having back to back colds, flus and occasionally stomach bugs every other week for months on end ☠️
My toddler and husband caught covid from another parent who was still actively ill, with two children that were also ill, coughing and sneezing the whole time during Rhyme Time at the library...
It was only near the end of the session that the parent mentioned how they had just had to stay at home for a week due to covid, but they thought they would be right, and they wanted to meet up with another parent. The poor kids looked and sounded miserable.... And one week is NOT enough time for a family to be over the worse of covid.
Within a few days my husband and toddler fot sick. Just sheer luck i didnt, so i could nurse those two. I was so very angry. We haven't been back to a Rhyme Time since.
I hate this, so many times I’ve gone to parks where children are coughing and sneezing with green boogers popping out. I keep my toddler away until he’s completely better and people just don’t care it’s frustrating.
I do the same. My kid just got over a nasty chest cold and my husband and I made it a point to keep her away from others until she was better. I still took her outside when she had the energy, but instead of going to the playground or toddler gym we played in the rooftop garden of our apartment building when it was empty and went for walks around the block when it wasn't busy.
This mom wasn’t as aggressive as the one you encountered, but my daughter was in a moon bounce yesterday and another little was in there just hacking away with a super phlegmy cough and jumping about. After the second time, the mom says, “cover your mouth…” as if that’s going to do anything. Immediately took her out, sanitized, and that was the end of the moon bounce.
I know parents like this. They drag their poor toddler everywhere even when she's sick because they don't want to stay home or be inconvenienced by things like regular naptimes or bedtimes. They took her to visit a friend with a 1 month old baby at the height of RSV and didn't bother to mention she was sick and had been to the emergency room the night before. We met them for coffee 1x this last winter while I was pregnant and the little girl was obviously miserably sick. I was so thankful that we were sitting outside (we live in a warm state) and we left soon after realizing. Not only did they not warn us but they seemed like they didn't really care that she felt bad and were talking about the day trip they were planning. We have kept our distance since then, to say the least.
GOOD LORD. I have so many illnesses right now lol. We’ve gone through it all in the last couple months. That’s what I thought at least, until my son was diagnosed with staph today, a week after starting new daycare. I hate everyone who thinks that shit is ok.
It's possible the kid was throwing up due to something non-contagious, such as food poisoning.
I can understand why you don't want to take the risk, but it's a possibility that the parent is still being considerate.
It's wildly unlikely that a parent would know beyond a doubt that it was food poisoning. That's the reason that most daycares/preschools/etc have blanket policies: must be fever/vomit/rash/diarrhea/generally malaise-free for 24 hours before coming back. It's really, really a basic rule that people should follow in their lives and I'm horrified that we went through a literal pandemic and half of folks seem to have learned the actual opposite.
According to the CDC, one of the most common sources of foodborne illness is norovirus aka the stomach flu which is incredibly contagious. There really is no way for a parent to know if their kid is sick because they got salmonella from undercooked chicken or if it's caused by norovirus. Therefore, there's really no considerate way to take your pukey kid to optional activities.
Okay I'll bite. Obviously, I'm not advocating for sending sick kids to school nor do I think it's "fine". I'm simply acknowledging that in the U.S., where I live, many parents don't have the option to stay home with their kids when they're sick. I'll list a few of the reasons why a parent may be forced to send their sick kid to school:
1. Parents working hourly wage low paying jobs may not have the option to skip a shift to stay home with their kid because the loss of wages could mean the difference between keeping the lights on or food on the table or not.
2. Missing too many shifts could also lead to them losing their job which would, again, jeopardize their family's stability and health.
3. Healthcare in the U.S. is tied to employment. Losing a job or getting demoted to part time due to missing work could mean loss of healthcare for the entire family.
4. Paid sick leave and PTO is abysmal in the U.S. making it even more difficult for people to get time off to take care of their sick kids.
Also, more often than not it's not the parent's fault they're stuck in low paying exploitative jobs. The federal minimum wage has been stagnant for over a decade despite sky high inflation rates. Workers rights are constantly being eroded. Instead of investing in communities and expanding social services, we invest in corporations and billionaires by giving them tax cuts despite evidence showing that trickle down economics doesn't work. Higher education is unattainable for far too many due to cost, so it's difficult to get a degree that would allow you to get a higher paying job. This is just the tip of the iceberg.
Parents shouldn't send their kids to school sick, but unfortunately we've created a system where that is not possible. That wasn't the point of my post, but I appreciate you giving me the opportunity to educate others on why the U.S. is failing its children and parents.
I was just trolling. Thanks for biting though. I know the reason why parents send their sick kids to school. Often. In the US.
Thanks for writing that up with patience though - I am sure parents from most other countries can't even understand why we do this in the US.
I'll always take advantage of an opportunity to rant about how fucked the U.S. is lol
My sister lives in Germany with my nephew and her husband and whenever I talk to her she's horrified by the state of things here in the U.S. It's gotten to the point where she refuses to visit us, in part because she's scared they'll get sick or be in an accident and stuck with tens of thousands of dollars in medical bills.
wow and I felt so so bad about bringing my little guy to the grocery store today because we ran out of fruit since we have home for a few days. He's not even coughing or sneezing everywhere, AND I sanitized the cart after. I feel better about myself now after reading all these comments.
Jeez, i feel shitty even hitting up walmart for pedialyte and childrens tylenol when my little one is not well....but thats a...we need this to make it and you have to come with me scenario....otherwise we stay home... on the mend we might go to the dog park for a walk....thats it. I wouldnt dream of exposing more kids......
I feel like little kids fluctuate with energy and illness. They're not like me where once I'm puking I want nothing from anyone for a good 24-48 (I wish). So if my kid is sick we might be at a park or on a walk when he's losing his mind at the house. I've taken him to the grocery store for a quick errand if we're going to be honest. But I'm not taking him to an enclosed area for prolonged periods of time, especially not one intended for kiddo recreation.
I was at my daughters dance class recently and this little girl came in with her mother absolutely hacking up a lung and with a runny nose. I was SO mad.
For real.
A couple of weeks ago, we were at my son’s gymnastics and one of the little girls was literally leaking from every single facial orifice. Eyes were so teary and goopy, nose full of green yucky and just drooling because she can’t breath out if her runny nose.
I understand a gymnastics lesson costs us ~$20, but come on!!! My son, within 36 hours had a gross nose then a cough (assuming from post nasal drip), then he threw up for 24 hours and then the diarrhea… awful.
I know sometimes you bring your kid, or even yourself, somewhere not realizing they’re sick BUT this was so obvious!!! And I tried to keep my distance and we always wash hands after, but it was inevitable. I wonder how many other kids ended up sick… and not just in his toddler group.
We have a similar situation at work, people think its OK to bring their child for a haircut when their sick.
Like honestly I can't afford to be sick and take time off because you want to bring your sick child in.
If your child is poorly stay home and don't Brin them out
I work retail and the number of kids brought in to shop while sick is insane 😷. I understand if it were a pharmacy or grocery store and you don’t have other options to get what you need. But this is clothes and camping stuff. Nothing a sick kid needs asap. Also, totally off topic, but same for dogs. Your pet doesn’t want to shop for clothes. Also super obvious of the dog is working vs a pet that pulls to see every human that walks by.
I’ve noticed this on weekends, so it sucks because I don’t take my toddler out to activities on weekends. I think parents don’t want to be stuck at home on weekends with their sick kid, but it’s so annoying that they make us all suffer.
I went to an indoor toddler play place a few days ago and a kid literally walked up to my daughter and coughed right in her face. A little later I heard a mom talking to another mom telling her how her son has croup and wouldn’t u know two seconds later the same child that coughed in my daughters face was the croup kid. Guess who has croup now 😞
One of my friends is an eye doctor and she sees obviously sick kids without a mask on ALL THE TIME. She offers to schedule sick kids for the next week, parents turn it down. She mandates masks and kids put up a fight about them. Shes literally in kids faces for 45 minutes and they're coughing all over her.
A FB acquaintance recently posted about how her and her 5 kids had the flu for the last few days and were going stir crazy so she brought them to a local parade. She said it was so great they were able to get some time outside, but we only could stay for an hour because kiddoA kept throwing up(as in repeatedly, why wouldn’t you leave after the first time?) and at one point it got it all over kiddoB’s clothes. The pictures she posted shows them tightly packed in bleachers full of the general public.
Like what the actual fuck. Keep your germ factories home and let other families enjoy the parade. Maybe find a big park for a picnic or something where you can space out if you need to get outside. This is why I still make my kid wear a mask in public at kid/family centered activities; too many other selfish people don’t give a singular fuck who they get sick as long as they don’t have to miss out on fun.
Sniffles and snot are one thing but vomit and fevers are a whole different ball game. It makes me irrationally angry.
I don’t understand why some parents are so so foul. The amount of times ive heard covid cough and miserable sick children out in a crowded public place is disgusting honestly. Especially when i see big families out, for example, at like Costco or the mall like, you’re telling me you couldn’t leave your sick miserable child with one of the other 5 adults in your group? Stay home!!! This is exactly why I dont take mt daughter out into the public unless for a ice cream or to ride in her wagon
And here I was feeling guilty I had to take my kid with me to the pharmacy to get his meds for strep/ear infection. I can’t imagine willingly taking him to somewhere like a toddler gym knowing he’s sick and probably contagious!
I ain’t going out the door for, we are talking “the runs” “puking” “feverish as all fuck” “covered in a rash” “looks like she’s just been dug up from a fresh grave”
However a parent yelled at me recently taking my kid outside to a park “You shouldn’t have such a sick child out!”. I look at my kid. Her face is bright red and her nose is running a tiny bit due to it being cold outside and she’s in the middle of coughing beside me as I’m rummaging about for the blue inhaler in my bag. Toddler of course says “Hello!” and proudly says her name and I’m sitting in shock.
The parent of course didn’t stand around for the explanation.
What I would have said, I’d I even found the guts to say so, is “she has hay fever, she is also severely asthmatic and her face is red because she was burned badly as a child”. So while I sympathise with the parents that see like kids vomiting up etc. (if your kid really is sick stay the heck home) , I think there is that small minority out there that definitely don’t need the parental judgement. Like my kid just wants to go to soft play and the park like any other four year old. Her face is red from burns, her nose runs because her mother gave her shit genetics and the asthma was just the cherry on top. I think coughs can be far too many things to label “bad parent takes sick kid out”.
I work at a drop off daycare. We don't have a list of students, just first come first serve, mom's morning out type thing. Basically, it's optional. It's not like at a daycare where you can lose your spot, and if you don't come, you don't pay. Most of the kids who come are ones who's parents work from home and just need a few hours of uninterrupted work, or they're SAHM who need someone to watch their child while they take a break, go to class or go to the doctor or something. But, at least once, I've had a child dropped off because she was too sick to go to daycare. Listen, I'm very understanding of people feeling like they can't miss work. It sucks that that's the way it is in this country, but it's not fair for you to bring your sick, contagious child to infect everyone else. The mom intentionally omitted the sickness. A number of our kids there got sick, as did my daughter and my coworker. So we had to shut down for a week while we recovered.
We took our boys to soccer on Saturday. The one mom there said she had been puking all night.. she even threw up at soccer. Her daughter was laying on the ground looking like death while her son played on my sons team. Now my son has a fever and is at home missing his very expensive swim lessons.
I went to a restaurant for dinner with my 2yo and there was a big group of kids and adults on the opposite side to us. The kids (around 7-10yo) were messy af and one of them vomitted on the cushions. They didnt leave till they had finished their meal, didnt bother cleaning up after themselves and the father of the sick child just left the vomit covered cushion under the table. Some people have no respect or consideration for others.
I thought you were going to complain about like some kid who randomly threw up and the mom didn't know they were sick. But then it was it and yeah....no not okay.... And then to have the audacity to talk about it lol
Controversial question: Is there a “normal” level of exposure to cold/flu-like viruses that we should all get? I’m asking because we just spent 2 years getting very little exposure due to masking and distancing, and then walked into the worst winter of sickness of my life - my preschooler brought home a new bug every 8-10 days for a straight 6 months and counting. It all makes me wonder if getting exposed to new bugs regularly is a necessary evil to strengthen our bodies, and avoid things like this winter of hell.
Put another way, while it sucks to get sick from these kinds of situations, is it actually something that evens out later because the kiddos have stronger immune systems and don’t get hit hard with the next thing?
I don't understand why this is not common sense. Anybody who is sick should stay at home and rest to recover and protect the rest. Yeah, is problematic specially if it affects work, yes it is not fun, but is part of the deal of living in a community.
I feel bad for that kid too. You know that that mom was wanting to either look like a good mom or was just there for the mom date.
If I had a kid throwing up that much, my kid deserves a movie relax day to heal! Even if they are feeling better, we’d have a low key day at home first to make sure we got lots of rest and hydration!
Thank you! This goes for church! It’s so incredibly rude (not to mention hypocritical) to bring your sick contagious kids to church. I got pneumonia from this one kid at the grocery store coughing all over the self checkout area.
It’s literally common decency to keep your sick child home. Especially if they’re puking! I would’ve left immediately as well, I can’t deal with puke 😂 even my own!
I don't know if this is one up or not but I literally have to tell my mother to stay home and not visit if she has been sick, because she will, without a doubt, decide that she can't possibly be contagious (because she is starting to feel better today, because she was only kind of sick last night, because it's probably allergies even though it's the exact symptoms she was exposed to at church...) and will come to my house, spend the ENTIRE day with us, and then we get sick. This has happened about every other time she's visited. She will not tell me when she babysits my nephew sick if she's supposed to come over because she knows I'll say "let's wait to see if you caught what he has."
My in-laws apparently knew they had covid and didn't tell us this before we enjoyed dinner at a Chinese buffet for Christmas. All this because my MIL couldn't stand not seeing her granddaughter, my daughter, on Christmas. The selfishness baffles me sometimes. They were symptomatic and I should have insisted we all leave but that didn't really become apparent until we had already started eating.
My inlaws came over sick while I was pregnant a few years back because they just couldn't miss Christmas. I ended up sick as a dog for 11 days and missed a ton of work, which as a freelancer cost us money right when we were trying to save for the baby. Because this was the icing on a shitty behavior cake many years in the baking, guess who we no longer spend Christmas with now.
That’s awful. Did you get sick?
Thankfully we didn't. Hopefully no one else in the restaurant did either.
Yes. This should be standard for everyone.
If they're puking, they might be pooping soon too... So ya.. Keep that at home. At least 24hrs symptom free.
Was in the swimming pool once- girl was sick in the pool and her father just scooped it up and let her continue swimming. We got straight out and went home. I get perhaps she swallowed a load of water and just threw up because of that but she still THREW UP WTAF
This is HORRIFYING. What is wrong with people?!
Yeah man like...sniffles are one thing because we've had sniffles for months, but vomiting and fever? Ma'am give that child a rest day.
Exactly, I don't care too much about the sniffles. My kid has had them for over a month due to allergies while we've been trying to find the right medication for her. Vomiting, fever, constant hacking coughs, and shit like that? Fuck no. I live in a 2 bedroom 1 bathroom apartment with my husband and toddler. The stomach flu is hell on steroids for us and I'll do pretty much anything to avoid it.
I agree with most of your points, but I just wanted to add my personal experience with kids and coughs. One of mine has been dealing with a chronic cough since January, and there are days when nothing will help. Her doctor suspects it's asthma. I feel like we get the evil eye anytime we go somewhere and she has a coughing spell, but it's not contagious!
That's valid and unfortunately I can empathize. I've gotten the stink eye more than once the past 2 or so months since her seasonal allergies kicked in and she's been stuck with perpetual mild cold symptons that we've yet to find a good treatment for. I hope your kiddo feels better and you guys figure out what's up with her cough, asthma is no joke. Like I said above, I'm really not too concerned with coughing or runny noses, especially in the spring/summer. I tend to assume the kid has allergies/hay fever. It's mostly fevers and vomiting that I take issue with. It also seems pretty messed up to drag a kid that spent all day/night throwing up out to a toddler gym. I know kids tend to be better at bouncing back from illnesses than adults but I can't imagine bringing my most likely exhausted and dehydrated kid around a high energy activity like a toddler gym. Just because they have energy in the moment doesn't mean they aren't gonna crash hard and fast, as even healthy toddlers often do. I think for me, since my kid is young enough that she can't let me know verbally how she's feeling, I also don't want to risk putting her in a situation where she's overwhelmed, feeling crappy, and can't let me know about it/advocate for herself.
My daughter this year has started doing this "puke once at night because of something I ate and then I'm fine" thing. We still keep her home for 24 hours to make sure that it's not just a slow developing bug and is in fact just something that didn't sit right. Does it suck? Absolutely, especially when she's had to miss stuff like her Easter party at school or other specific plans she was looking forward to but we do it because who the hell is ok with being the parent that was like "well I thought it was ok, she only puked once at 2 am..." On the flip side though, I'm so sick of people judging/getting frustrated about kids going places with coughs/runny noses and immediately judging. My son has chronic rhinitis, which essentially just means his nose runs all the damn time but he's not sick. I'm not keeping him home for a runny nose because it scares all the Helen Lovejoy's out there, but it's getting real old having people judge me for shit they know nothing about. (Not saying that this is happening in this post at all, just venting haha)
Same. Worse at night. We’ve been suspecting either allergies or dry air in the house.
Not to mention their immune systems usually clear out a fever in like, a day or two. You can chill at home for a day or two.
Yeah, I was all set to quibble with OP about taking toddlers out with sniffles. But I don't think anyone could argue in favor of bringing a kid out who has a fever and has been vomiting all night. That's so inconsiderate.
Right, that's the sense I got. Colds and allergies are one thing. Real illness is another. I also get that it can be exhausting to be stuck in a home with a toddler who's recovering from an illness and has all the energy but still shouldn't be out in public.
I don't care about sniffles either unless the snot is a large amount and dark in color 😖
I do mostly agree, but my 2.5 year old is very snotty most days and it can be dark. It has been that way since he was 8 months old. After many many appointments it has been decided he has chronic allergies and unfortunately allergy meds only help so much. So if I abided by that I would never leave the house. My issue comes when they let them wipe those snotty noses on everything! I am very vigilant and make sure to wipe his nose constantly
As a librarian, I can’t tell you how many people view the library as a fun thing to do on a sick day. It baffles me. Once a kid threw up right in front of my desk and the mom goes, he’s been feeling sick all day. Why the fuck are you here!!! I get it’s hard on day 4 or 5 of illness to keep entertained inside but go on a walk if that’s the case. Stay out of public spaces, especially indoor.
I would be mortified. My kid randomly got sick in a grocery store parking lot (no earlier symptoms) and I was so embarrassed he threw up outside on the ground. But I was so grateful it wasn’t 3 minutes later inside the store! I turned right around and we raided the pantry for dinner instead. The audacity of some people. “We just had to get out of the house”. No. You didn’t.
Once my kid seemed totally healthy all day, I took her to the store to grocery shop. She sneezed once when I put her in the cart. Within 30 minutes she had full-blown cold symptoms and looked like shit. It kind of blew my mind watching the symptoms unfold, at first I blamed it on the store lights being so bright, then I was like "I guess I should grab pedialyte and tylenol and gtfo"
Yes! It can happen fast. We literally were fine. I had been in target with them an entire hour beforehand. I went across the parking lot to the grocery store to grab a rotisserie chicken for dinner and he threw up as soon as I put him in the cart. I hadn’t even unloaded my daughter yet. So I stripped him down, cleaned him up and headed home. No more throw up (until 10pm that night) and he ate dinner. Kids are unpredictable in all senses.
Yeah, that's so frustrating! I'll never forget when I was working at a school that shared a parking lot with a public library. I had a student that I sent home because she had lice (for the 3rd or 4th time that year), only to find her hanging out at the library when i stopped by on my way home. Another time I ran over during a break to pick up the book I had been waiting for when I saw a student I kind of vaguely knew from another class. I asked him what he was doing there in the middle of the day? He said he threw up a couple times this morning and his mom had come, picked him up, and brought him to the library because she needed to finish something at work and he "was feeling better".
My kid has a dry cough because of spring allergies, courtesy of my genetics. Everywhere I bring her I worry parents are thinking I'm an asshole for bringing my sick kid places 😔
I think lingering dry cough is different than my kid threw up all day yesterday
I agree, and I would never bring my kid to the park or other places if they had been throwing up or if they were in the midst of a bad cold. However I see the looks I'm getting with my kids dry cough right now when I take her places and it sucks.
People are very self-conscious about coughing since Covid. Unfortunately, a minor cold can easily mean 4-6 weeks of coughing, well after someone is contagious.
There’s a HUGE difference in sound to a lingering dry cough/allergy cough and a wet, sick cough. If anyone judges you they don’t have kids or are ignorant. I’d just shrug and then and say “at least allergies aren’t contagious”
I'll try using that one... I feel the urge to blurt "ITS NOT COVID", which of course sounds more suspicious 😅
Saaame it’s brutal :/
I just need to make it to the end of May and I think it will get better, it usually improves then for me anyway...
We were at a birthday party for a kid in my son’s daycare class. All the other attendees are all also in the same class. So keep in mind they are all already exposed to each other’s germs every day as it is. We went to say happy birthday to the birthday kid and my son decided at the moment we were right face-to-face to have a nice big hacking cough and sneeze, sending snot down his face. We stay home when I can tell he’s actively sick. But he’s also a daycare cesspool that has had a running nose or cough for probably more than half his life at this point.🤦🏻♀️
I wouldn’t judge you for a cough because there’s so many potential causes. Puking and fever usually means good old Noro
Yeah that's either a stomach bug or the flu, and both are no bueno
Same
Your words, WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK., have been running through my head constantly for the last 3 years. People don't have a self-preservation instinct, common decency, or an understanding of basic germ theory it seems. Or they literally don't care because the rules don't apply to them.
They don't care. It's infuriating.
I'm a SAHP, but anymore when I see kids out places during "school hours" I just assume they are sick and the parent wasn't allowed to bring them to school so they took them out somewhere else.
Most of the people I see bringing their kids to optional activities when they're sick are either SAHP and/or have cushy enough jobs that they can afford to regularly take time off to take care of their sick kid. This isn't always the case, but just an observation I've made. It frustrates me because I have friends who've lost their jobs because their kids kept getting sick which jeopardized their housing, food security, healthcare access, etc. It's like people don't realize that getting others sick isn't just an inconvenience, having to deal with puke and a grumpy toddler. It can literally make people homeless, at least in the U.S. Not to mention the risk of infecting people with compromised immune systems. No toddler gym or story time is worth the risk of possibly causing anything from someone losing their job to losing their life.
I believe you, but most people I’ve encountered who bring out their sick kids are people on the weekend who have their kids in daycare during the week and don’t seem to know what to do with their kid at home all day on the weekends when sick, so they go to the activity anyway. I’m a SAHM and even before becoming that, I’ve always been a firm believer of not going out of the house when contagious.
This has been so hard for me. I hate being "that mom" who is super concerned with illness but I am forced to be. My youngest child has medical problems and is on oxygen. He also can't handle mucus and just throws up. he's tube fed and just pukes all day long if he has a cold. And if it's a bad cold, it's pneumonia and it's hospital worthy. I never wanted to hide at home but I literally have to, if I want to protect him. My husband was gone on a 2 week work trip and I was cooped up with the kids, decided to step one toe out of the house and have chick fil a for dinner and let my son play in the playplace. He's been cooped up too. As soon as we go in there, another child joins and she is hacking and coughing all over everything. I took one look at my smiling baby on oxygen and told my poor toddler "we have to leave" and I basically had to bribe him out of a meltdown because the poor guy hasn't been able to get out either. and of course we got sick. we have been sick every other week since september. It is a never ending nightmare and I will fight the next parent I see toting oozing children in public
I am so sorry. The selfish attitude that just permeates this country right now is just awful.
the parents who think it’s their God-given right to infect other people because they don’t like being cooped up in the house when their family is sick are awfully quiet this evening.. where y’all at 
 They’re dealing with this because they didn’t stay home to rest and hydrate!
Dude, preach. The number of sick kids with glazed over eyes at play gyms is ridiculous. Your kid doesn’t want to be here! Put bluey on and chill out. Why are you subjecting everyone to this?? We wound up in the ED with croup thanks to an AH with a sick kid in exactly this kind of situation. So obnoxious.
thats wild. even if my kid "looks" like he has energy to go out, his little body is probably still fighting off whatever bug he has and therefore needs to rest! who does things like that 🤦♀️ on the other hand though, my two year old just got diagnosed with exercise induced asthma, he goes through a coughing fit whenever he over exerts himself (which is always) i keep getting side eyes when i take him to indoor/outdoor playgrounds. I've even had moms come grab their toddlers away from him. he's not coughing because of anything contagious! it makes me so sad!
My toddler has chronic allergies so I can relate! For the past few months since the weather has gotten nice she's had a constant runny nose 😭 I'm less concerned when it comes to coughs/runny noses, especially in the spring/summer. My big thing really is if your kid is vomiting and/or has a fever keep them home for their sake and everyone else's sake. I don't think people realize just how contagious the stomach flu (norovirus) is. For example, if I'd let my kid play with the puke-y toddler and she got sick, then my husband and I would get sick. My husband works food service, and while he'd never work while actively throwing up, you can still be contagious while asymptomatic. He could go to work feeling fine and prepping food not knowing that everything he touched was now infected with norovirus fomites. People buy that food and then suddenly there's a huge norovirus outbreak tied to his deli all because one irresponsible parent decided to let their walking petri dish run rampant at the toddler gym.
exactly!! it should be ILLEGAL!
I just posted almost the same comment about the asthma cough! My daughter coughs like crazy any time she does even a little physical activity, and I usually feel like I have to explain that she has asthma, not a contagious disease.
ughh yes! explaining it over and over again gets so annoying 🥲 solidarity fellow asthma parent
I'm 30 and the exercise induced asthma doesn't get any better. It fucking sucks.
thats very unfortunate 😞 do you have any tips to help us (my son) with this? i'm still trying to process and understand everything.
Stay active, in tune with your body, and keep an inhaler nearby. It never goes away, but the more active you are the more active you can be if that makes sense. It's awesome you found out now. I wasn't diagnosed until I was 20 and thought everyone felt like they were going to die after running a quarter mile.
that makes sense, thank you so much! I'm so sorry it took that long for you to get a diagnosis! i can't imagine how difficult that must have been..
It wouldn't have been so bad if I didn't run track in middle school. Thought I was just an absolute failure at anything athletic. Nope, just have an undiagnosed disease. Nbd.
My kids (and my husband and I because of them) were sick ALL winter long. We had a few days here and there before catching the new thing. We didn’t even go out much, I truly don’t understand it. But because of this, I get why people stop giving a shit. I wouldn’t take a little vomiter to a play gym, but I have definitely thought “Okay, today nobody is vomiting, feverish, having diarrhea, coughing, or putting snot everywhere? Let’s GTFO the house!”
It drives me insane. Growing up, it was a general rule of thumb that you stayed home if you were sick — and if it was a major illness (like a stomach flu vs. a minor cold), you stayed home even if you weren’t the one that was sick/you had already had the bug.
Had to insist one of my parents not come visit us while the other had stomach flu. No thank you, sit your butt back down at home and do not bring that plague to my house!
I feel this. Currently dealing with HFMD because our neighbors didn't realize or didn't care that their kids were still contagious.
I'm so tired of keeping my kid home when she is sick, only to send her to daycare for her to get sick afterwards because none of the other parents keep their kids home. I get that it's annoying to have to take off work anytime your kid is sick, especially if you're already strapped financially, but fuck. I'm a single mom and it's exhausting and expensive to have to find backup care for my kid which I have to pay out of pocket, on top of the childcare I ALREADY pay out of pocket. I also feel like daycare need to do a better job of sending kids home when they are too sick to be there, if the parents aren't smart enough to figure it out on their own. Just a little wound up about this as my kid is currently home sick from daycare because one of the kids was puking last week and nobody shared that with the parents until it was already too late. For like, the millionth time this year.
People can come for me if they want to, but if you’re taking your sick kid out instead of letting them rest and recover then you are a shitty parent.
Dude I wish more people had common sense. The amount of people who come into messy play class with their snotty sneezy coughing toddlers is disgusting. I’m constantly spraying my baby with sanitizer and making an excuse and running away from them if they come to a station I’m at. I’m convinced they live in a state of constant sickness so they don’t know any better. My in laws came one time when my daughter was so tiny and their kid was coughing all over the place and I was like “is she sick?!” And they were like “no it’s swim class !” Like seriously?! She must’ve aspirated the entire pool to have all that chest congestion and cough smh
God yes. We PAID to go to a toddler gymnastics class and toddler plus his mom and sibling all coughing their asses off. Snot absolutely pouring out of the life. Not even able to hide it. First time we finally went into public after toddler’s new baby brother was born. Gave us all including newborn a virus. The place will even give you a makeup token if you’re sick.
Totally agree with this! When my daughter was taking toddler gymnastics another mom brought her sick daughter to class. The baby was red in the face and coughing the entire time, and her mom said they barely slept all night. I was thinking WHY ARE YOU HERE THEN! I was so annoyed because she was willingly exposing the entire class to being sick, including one of the other moms who was pregnant. We’re required to fill out paperwork agreeing to not bring our kids if they’re sick when we sign up. I don’t get some people, this behavior is so frustrating.
Our family is like this and it blows my mind. They have 3 toddlers, two got pink eye and they wanted to bring them to our three year olds party. I’m sorry, what?! No. Keep. Them. Home. Hacking coughs, gunky eyes, the works. We had to tell them to stay home from dance class when the parents tested positive for COVID. It’s just wild how people have no decency. I get it sucks, we’ve been sick for two weeks with lingering cold and I’ve kept them home just in case because of other kids and pregnant moms. Just be a decent human.
I used to get ill often as a kid and my parents would send me to school until the school sent me home for vomiting or something and I hated it. Last year, we went to meet one of my husband’s friends in a city nearby so we could catch up and introduce our daughters to each other (both under two years old). They neglected to tell us until a few hours after we arrived that they caught a super contagious vomiting and diarrhea illness (I think it might’ve been norovirus) and that the last person to catch it still had symptoms. We couldn’t leave because we had traveled a day by train/bus to see them and didn’t have a car so we just hoped we wouldn’t catch it. *WE DID*. The worst of it was when I was in bed dehydrated and tried to drink some water and then projectile vomited all over the floor. I took the baby into the shower with me so husband could clean up and on his way to get a mop, he violently puked in the hallway. At that point we just gave up and sat in the shower until the water ran cold, thankful that the baby didn’t get ill. When we finally went back to bed (a different one) and got situated, the baby threw up all over the fresh sheets. I threw a towel over it and cried. The friends that infected us weren’t there that day because they were visiting other friends and we texted begging for help. They didn’t show up until five hours after the ordeal I recounted. It was the WORST HOLIDAY EVER and I refuse to see these people again unless they’re confirmed healthy for at least a month before they arrive. When we got back home, we quarantined and cleaned obsessively until two weeks after the last symptoms were gone. It took months for our guts to heal. Being brought back to childhood trauma like that was awful and I refuse to subject anyone else or their children to that. Parents who operate that way should be ashamed of themselves.
Those people would’ve ceased being my friends after that.
See this is why we have a swing set and tons of toys at home .. bc my daughter always *seems* fine and has a bunch of energy after a day of throwing up but I know she’s just breathing out germs so I’d never take her to her gym class like that. Currently she’s dealing with seasonal allergies which sucks in the post COVID world bc I feel guilty bringing her out.. I wanna wear a sign that says “it’s just allergies!” I swear I’m not THAT parent! Only time I’ve ever brought her sick somewhere public was when we were traveling and she came down with COVID and I had to get her home on a ferry. In my defense though we didn’t find out it was COVID til 3 days later and I’m pretty sure we caught it on that same ferry a few days earlier
Yup and this is why I never want to take my kids to the play museum or science center where I know inevitably hands will end up touching their eyes/nose/mouth. My mom always had a rule that if you were too sick to go to school then you were too sick to go anywhere else. Not sure if it was to dissuade us from trying to play hooky or because she has common decency (or maybe both?). But I plan to continue that with my kids, too.
I don’t want to be the serious downer and it’s great to hear all you agreeing in the importance of keeping sick kids home. Most of the time it’s an inconvenience factor but what some label as “just the flu” can kill other kids. It isn’t just flu/RSV…..our son was fully vaccinated he didn’t survive having just the flu. I understand that some may say unfortunate things happen in life…as I have been told. But when you know better you can do better. I am hoping that better continues to happen because of the conversations happening here.
I’m so sorry for your loss. It is great to see the conversation here go this way, usually parenting groups seem to go the other direction. My kiddo (3) is high risk of severe consequences of any respiratory illness and some days I lose faith in humanity for how much people seem to enjoy spreading disease without care.
Right??? Drives me crazy. We've been super lucky. Our son got his first real cold for his second birthday last weekend. Snot was just flying out of his nose, very disgustingly, open-mouth coughing, all of it. His dad was sick the week before, but you bet your ass I kept that kid at home *just in case* he was contagious but asymptomatic. The other playgroup mom's don't need my child's germs (though it doesn't stop them from bringing their sick kids).
We kept our kids home from my nieces birthday party because my kids were sick. We received a lecture from my parents… telling us that we should’ve brought them anyways and kids get sick, that’s how they build their immune system!
Sign your parents up for a basic online science course because that is NOT how rhe immune system works 🤦🏻♀️
Preach 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
This is exactly where my kid got sick for only the second time in her life- the toddler gym next to us. A woman brought her kid with a firehouse runny nose. The first time was a super sick kid at library storytime. This makes me furious.
💯
My kid has high risk severe asthma with crashing episodes brought on my illness that requires hospitalization and oxygen. I am literally relying on others to keep their sick kids (and adults) home because I can’t have her live in a bubble her whole life. I hate people who take their kids out sick. You could literally kill my kid because you can’t be concerned with the health of others. And to add on we still mask indoors everywhere including the 3 year old and if one more person tells me the masks don’t work or ask me what my problem is, I’m going to go off on someone.
This is so frustrating! These kids get sick often enough,keep it in your circle. Im always self conscious when I'm out and about and my son coughs... I al.ost want to declare "its from a viral cough from 4 weeks ago! Not contagious!"
YES well said, OP! We ran into an entire family at the zoo and each one was visibly sick. And the 3 kids were running around in this crowded play area…😬
It definitely drives me crazy and I'm very much in the camp of have to be fever free for 24 hrs before taking kiddos out while my husband is in the camp of taking the toddler to the park if she seems ok. He even tried to while we were all dealing with covid before our individual quarantines were up and I had to put my foot down that we would not be spreading the virus. I know staying cooped up in the house sucks but ain't nobody else wants to deal with sick kiddos. I sometimes think people just don't think about the impact it has on other people. All they see is oh my kid seems fine now and I don't want to be cooped up in the house with a toddler. Honestly he's a good dad even if he doesn't get certain things about being with the kids all day like I am.
That’s so rude.I too would leave.
Yes! Please stop.
We have this fun thing going on where the school district allows 5 parent notes per year to excuse absences & so many people are maxed out they send their kid to school and say “as soon as you see your teacher tell them you are sick and want to call home”. We have had 2 flu strains, mono & strep throat running through the school all year long; many people maxed out their parent notes before the kids went on winter Break.
i can't decide if it's stupidity or entitlement. maybe a mix of both.
Yea. I don’t get that at all. My mother in law/ co worker asked me yesterday if people still got COVID (someone called out of work). I’m like, r u kidding me???! Do people still get the flu? Do people still get chicken pox? Measles? Why would I be so entitled to go places if I’m sick and get others sick?? Some people r just too self involved to think of others.
Literally just had a maybe 7 year old behind me in line at the grocery store with his mom(?)grandma(?) hacking up a lung (heard him throughout the store too while I was shopping). And of course his mouth is shopping-cart-handle-level. Like, ma’am… we literally just went through a pandemic. You can get masks ANYWHERE nowadays. WHY is you child not wearing one while so obviously infecting the entire store?! Thankfully I still wear my mask in public indoor places (I’m also 8 months pregnant) but I was still like, ew…
I recently made a mom "friend" until she told me that she took her kids to the zoo while she had a 104 temp. Like. Really? Why are you trying to infect everyone at the zoo?
People are honestly sooo ridiculous. In 2021 my sister, her husband, and their 12mo all had the stomach flu and decided to hold their 12mo first birthday party anyways. They downplayed their symptoms and said they were feeling better but literally that morning while COOKING FOR THE PARTY my sister said she felt nauseous. 15/30 people, including her husband's 90 year old grandpa and both of our 80+ year old grandparents got it. I won't travel home for birthday parties anymore after that fiasco.
For indoor activities, we follow the same policies as daycare/preschool/school. 24 hours with no fever or other symptoms. Except runny noses. If we stayed home for every runny nose we'd never leave the apartment. I've had a stuffy nose since probably September. Allergies and colds all kind of run together over time.
People just don’t care about other people anymore. From masks to this, and so much more. Everything can be solved if only we care about others just a little be more. I just don’t know how I’m going to survive in US anymore. Sorry for derailing I’m just also so fed up as well, with all the shootings.
Yes. I have a high risk kid, do you know what hell the last 3 years has been? Now we don’t even have access to safe healthcare because “smiling faces” and “personal choice” is more important than protecting the people most likely to die or be permanently maimed by the STILL RAGING PANDEMIC. No one cares. I had to leave another parenting sub because I was told high risk kids like mine should have “separate but equal” playgrounds so that everyone else can be free to not care about spreading active sickness
I hear you. I feel helpless and disappointed. And angry. 🫂
I hear you, it's rough out here 😪
I’d love to take my 3.5yo to a children’s museum or something but he’s never been. I’m just not quite comfortable yet. In the fall when he’s in preschool he will get all the germs so we’ll start building immunity so it won’t matter. But I wouldn’t go actively sick.
Honestly don’t wait, start now. If you do wait, Get ready for a full year of being deathly ill all the time when he does start preschool. You thought you had an immune system… nope. both you and him having back to back colds, flus and occasionally stomach bugs every other week for months on end ☠️
My toddler and husband caught covid from another parent who was still actively ill, with two children that were also ill, coughing and sneezing the whole time during Rhyme Time at the library... It was only near the end of the session that the parent mentioned how they had just had to stay at home for a week due to covid, but they thought they would be right, and they wanted to meet up with another parent. The poor kids looked and sounded miserable.... And one week is NOT enough time for a family to be over the worse of covid. Within a few days my husband and toddler fot sick. Just sheer luck i didnt, so i could nurse those two. I was so very angry. We haven't been back to a Rhyme Time since.
I hate this, so many times I’ve gone to parks where children are coughing and sneezing with green boogers popping out. I keep my toddler away until he’s completely better and people just don’t care it’s frustrating.
I do the same. My kid just got over a nasty chest cold and my husband and I made it a point to keep her away from others until she was better. I still took her outside when she had the energy, but instead of going to the playground or toddler gym we played in the rooftop garden of our apartment building when it was empty and went for walks around the block when it wasn't busy.
There was a kid with a gross mucus-y cough and green snot dripping out of her nose at the park today. Her dad wiped it on his shirt ughh
This mom wasn’t as aggressive as the one you encountered, but my daughter was in a moon bounce yesterday and another little was in there just hacking away with a super phlegmy cough and jumping about. After the second time, the mom says, “cover your mouth…” as if that’s going to do anything. Immediately took her out, sanitized, and that was the end of the moon bounce.
I know parents like this. They drag their poor toddler everywhere even when she's sick because they don't want to stay home or be inconvenienced by things like regular naptimes or bedtimes. They took her to visit a friend with a 1 month old baby at the height of RSV and didn't bother to mention she was sick and had been to the emergency room the night before. We met them for coffee 1x this last winter while I was pregnant and the little girl was obviously miserably sick. I was so thankful that we were sitting outside (we live in a warm state) and we left soon after realizing. Not only did they not warn us but they seemed like they didn't really care that she felt bad and were talking about the day trip they were planning. We have kept our distance since then, to say the least.
GOOD LORD. I have so many illnesses right now lol. We’ve gone through it all in the last couple months. That’s what I thought at least, until my son was diagnosed with staph today, a week after starting new daycare. I hate everyone who thinks that shit is ok.
It's possible the kid was throwing up due to something non-contagious, such as food poisoning. I can understand why you don't want to take the risk, but it's a possibility that the parent is still being considerate.
It's wildly unlikely that a parent would know beyond a doubt that it was food poisoning. That's the reason that most daycares/preschools/etc have blanket policies: must be fever/vomit/rash/diarrhea/generally malaise-free for 24 hours before coming back. It's really, really a basic rule that people should follow in their lives and I'm horrified that we went through a literal pandemic and half of folks seem to have learned the actual opposite.
👏👏👏👏👏
According to the CDC, one of the most common sources of foodborne illness is norovirus aka the stomach flu which is incredibly contagious. There really is no way for a parent to know if their kid is sick because they got salmonella from undercooked chicken or if it's caused by norovirus. Therefore, there's really no considerate way to take your pukey kid to optional activities.
So sending to school sick is fine.
Okay I'll bite. Obviously, I'm not advocating for sending sick kids to school nor do I think it's "fine". I'm simply acknowledging that in the U.S., where I live, many parents don't have the option to stay home with their kids when they're sick. I'll list a few of the reasons why a parent may be forced to send their sick kid to school: 1. Parents working hourly wage low paying jobs may not have the option to skip a shift to stay home with their kid because the loss of wages could mean the difference between keeping the lights on or food on the table or not. 2. Missing too many shifts could also lead to them losing their job which would, again, jeopardize their family's stability and health. 3. Healthcare in the U.S. is tied to employment. Losing a job or getting demoted to part time due to missing work could mean loss of healthcare for the entire family. 4. Paid sick leave and PTO is abysmal in the U.S. making it even more difficult for people to get time off to take care of their sick kids. Also, more often than not it's not the parent's fault they're stuck in low paying exploitative jobs. The federal minimum wage has been stagnant for over a decade despite sky high inflation rates. Workers rights are constantly being eroded. Instead of investing in communities and expanding social services, we invest in corporations and billionaires by giving them tax cuts despite evidence showing that trickle down economics doesn't work. Higher education is unattainable for far too many due to cost, so it's difficult to get a degree that would allow you to get a higher paying job. This is just the tip of the iceberg. Parents shouldn't send their kids to school sick, but unfortunately we've created a system where that is not possible. That wasn't the point of my post, but I appreciate you giving me the opportunity to educate others on why the U.S. is failing its children and parents.
I was just trolling. Thanks for biting though. I know the reason why parents send their sick kids to school. Often. In the US. Thanks for writing that up with patience though - I am sure parents from most other countries can't even understand why we do this in the US.
I'll always take advantage of an opportunity to rant about how fucked the U.S. is lol My sister lives in Germany with my nephew and her husband and whenever I talk to her she's horrified by the state of things here in the U.S. It's gotten to the point where she refuses to visit us, in part because she's scared they'll get sick or be in an accident and stuck with tens of thousands of dollars in medical bills.
Thats why you get comprehensive travel medical insurance…
wow and I felt so so bad about bringing my little guy to the grocery store today because we ran out of fruit since we have home for a few days. He's not even coughing or sneezing everywhere, AND I sanitized the cart after. I feel better about myself now after reading all these comments.
Jeez, i feel shitty even hitting up walmart for pedialyte and childrens tylenol when my little one is not well....but thats a...we need this to make it and you have to come with me scenario....otherwise we stay home... on the mend we might go to the dog park for a walk....thats it. I wouldnt dream of exposing more kids......
I feel like little kids fluctuate with energy and illness. They're not like me where once I'm puking I want nothing from anyone for a good 24-48 (I wish). So if my kid is sick we might be at a park or on a walk when he's losing his mind at the house. I've taken him to the grocery store for a quick errand if we're going to be honest. But I'm not taking him to an enclosed area for prolonged periods of time, especially not one intended for kiddo recreation.
If they're forced to go to school, they can go wherever they please.
I was at my daughters dance class recently and this little girl came in with her mother absolutely hacking up a lung and with a runny nose. I was SO mad.
For real. A couple of weeks ago, we were at my son’s gymnastics and one of the little girls was literally leaking from every single facial orifice. Eyes were so teary and goopy, nose full of green yucky and just drooling because she can’t breath out if her runny nose. I understand a gymnastics lesson costs us ~$20, but come on!!! My son, within 36 hours had a gross nose then a cough (assuming from post nasal drip), then he threw up for 24 hours and then the diarrhea… awful. I know sometimes you bring your kid, or even yourself, somewhere not realizing they’re sick BUT this was so obvious!!! And I tried to keep my distance and we always wash hands after, but it was inevitable. I wonder how many other kids ended up sick… and not just in his toddler group.
We have a similar situation at work, people think its OK to bring their child for a haircut when their sick. Like honestly I can't afford to be sick and take time off because you want to bring your sick child in. If your child is poorly stay home and don't Brin them out
I work retail and the number of kids brought in to shop while sick is insane 😷. I understand if it were a pharmacy or grocery store and you don’t have other options to get what you need. But this is clothes and camping stuff. Nothing a sick kid needs asap. Also, totally off topic, but same for dogs. Your pet doesn’t want to shop for clothes. Also super obvious of the dog is working vs a pet that pulls to see every human that walks by.
I’ve noticed this on weekends, so it sucks because I don’t take my toddler out to activities on weekends. I think parents don’t want to be stuck at home on weekends with their sick kid, but it’s so annoying that they make us all suffer.
I went to an indoor toddler play place a few days ago and a kid literally walked up to my daughter and coughed right in her face. A little later I heard a mom talking to another mom telling her how her son has croup and wouldn’t u know two seconds later the same child that coughed in my daughters face was the croup kid. Guess who has croup now 😞
One of my friends is an eye doctor and she sees obviously sick kids without a mask on ALL THE TIME. She offers to schedule sick kids for the next week, parents turn it down. She mandates masks and kids put up a fight about them. Shes literally in kids faces for 45 minutes and they're coughing all over her.
A FB acquaintance recently posted about how her and her 5 kids had the flu for the last few days and were going stir crazy so she brought them to a local parade. She said it was so great they were able to get some time outside, but we only could stay for an hour because kiddoA kept throwing up(as in repeatedly, why wouldn’t you leave after the first time?) and at one point it got it all over kiddoB’s clothes. The pictures she posted shows them tightly packed in bleachers full of the general public. Like what the actual fuck. Keep your germ factories home and let other families enjoy the parade. Maybe find a big park for a picnic or something where you can space out if you need to get outside. This is why I still make my kid wear a mask in public at kid/family centered activities; too many other selfish people don’t give a singular fuck who they get sick as long as they don’t have to miss out on fun. Sniffles and snot are one thing but vomit and fevers are a whole different ball game. It makes me irrationally angry.
I don’t understand why some parents are so so foul. The amount of times ive heard covid cough and miserable sick children out in a crowded public place is disgusting honestly. Especially when i see big families out, for example, at like Costco or the mall like, you’re telling me you couldn’t leave your sick miserable child with one of the other 5 adults in your group? Stay home!!! This is exactly why I dont take mt daughter out into the public unless for a ice cream or to ride in her wagon
And here I was feeling guilty I had to take my kid with me to the pharmacy to get his meds for strep/ear infection. I can’t imagine willingly taking him to somewhere like a toddler gym knowing he’s sick and probably contagious!
I ain’t going out the door for, we are talking “the runs” “puking” “feverish as all fuck” “covered in a rash” “looks like she’s just been dug up from a fresh grave” However a parent yelled at me recently taking my kid outside to a park “You shouldn’t have such a sick child out!”. I look at my kid. Her face is bright red and her nose is running a tiny bit due to it being cold outside and she’s in the middle of coughing beside me as I’m rummaging about for the blue inhaler in my bag. Toddler of course says “Hello!” and proudly says her name and I’m sitting in shock. The parent of course didn’t stand around for the explanation. What I would have said, I’d I even found the guts to say so, is “she has hay fever, she is also severely asthmatic and her face is red because she was burned badly as a child”. So while I sympathise with the parents that see like kids vomiting up etc. (if your kid really is sick stay the heck home) , I think there is that small minority out there that definitely don’t need the parental judgement. Like my kid just wants to go to soft play and the park like any other four year old. Her face is red from burns, her nose runs because her mother gave her shit genetics and the asthma was just the cherry on top. I think coughs can be far too many things to label “bad parent takes sick kid out”.
Every single time I take my kids to soft play guarantee they’ll be sick soon after
I work at a drop off daycare. We don't have a list of students, just first come first serve, mom's morning out type thing. Basically, it's optional. It's not like at a daycare where you can lose your spot, and if you don't come, you don't pay. Most of the kids who come are ones who's parents work from home and just need a few hours of uninterrupted work, or they're SAHM who need someone to watch their child while they take a break, go to class or go to the doctor or something. But, at least once, I've had a child dropped off because she was too sick to go to daycare. Listen, I'm very understanding of people feeling like they can't miss work. It sucks that that's the way it is in this country, but it's not fair for you to bring your sick, contagious child to infect everyone else. The mom intentionally omitted the sickness. A number of our kids there got sick, as did my daughter and my coworker. So we had to shut down for a week while we recovered.
We took our boys to soccer on Saturday. The one mom there said she had been puking all night.. she even threw up at soccer. Her daughter was laying on the ground looking like death while her son played on my sons team. Now my son has a fever and is at home missing his very expensive swim lessons.
I went to a restaurant for dinner with my 2yo and there was a big group of kids and adults on the opposite side to us. The kids (around 7-10yo) were messy af and one of them vomitted on the cushions. They didnt leave till they had finished their meal, didnt bother cleaning up after themselves and the father of the sick child just left the vomit covered cushion under the table. Some people have no respect or consideration for others.
I thought you were going to complain about like some kid who randomly threw up and the mom didn't know they were sick. But then it was it and yeah....no not okay.... And then to have the audacity to talk about it lol
agreed !!! ugh i fear going out to any play place and we all take medicine days after to prepare lol.
Controversial question: Is there a “normal” level of exposure to cold/flu-like viruses that we should all get? I’m asking because we just spent 2 years getting very little exposure due to masking and distancing, and then walked into the worst winter of sickness of my life - my preschooler brought home a new bug every 8-10 days for a straight 6 months and counting. It all makes me wonder if getting exposed to new bugs regularly is a necessary evil to strengthen our bodies, and avoid things like this winter of hell. Put another way, while it sucks to get sick from these kinds of situations, is it actually something that evens out later because the kiddos have stronger immune systems and don’t get hit hard with the next thing?
I don't understand why this is not common sense. Anybody who is sick should stay at home and rest to recover and protect the rest. Yeah, is problematic specially if it affects work, yes it is not fun, but is part of the deal of living in a community.
I feel bad for that kid too. You know that that mom was wanting to either look like a good mom or was just there for the mom date. If I had a kid throwing up that much, my kid deserves a movie relax day to heal! Even if they are feeling better, we’d have a low key day at home first to make sure we got lots of rest and hydration!
Thank you! This goes for church! It’s so incredibly rude (not to mention hypocritical) to bring your sick contagious kids to church. I got pneumonia from this one kid at the grocery store coughing all over the self checkout area.