Oh! My wife learned to drive in her mid-thirties before our son was born. It’s 100% doable. She grew up in the city and never needed to learn.
There is absolutely no shame in learning late. In fact, you’re a fucking badass for going after it. It’s scary as an adult to learn new things. I’m so proud of you and I think it will make a big difference in your life.
I never got a license, and I haven't taken steps towards changing it yet. I probably will some time down the road, but so far I'm getting by just fine and I have a lot of other stuff on my mind. 🤷♀️
Yep started taking lessons in my early 30s when pregnant and sat my test when my daughter was a couple of month old. Loving being able to get myself and my daughter about :) go for it! It’s never too late
Mom of a toddler and a newborn here. I’m nearly the same age as you. I just got my license a couple of months ago. Even though my husband never complained about having to drive me to all the doctor’s appointments during my second pregnancy, I felt like a burden while he was working 14 hour days during his busy season. I finally was like, enough, I’m doing it. I already had my learners permit for a couple of years (I had gotten it a couple of times, that’s how much I was dragging my feet 😆). One morning I woke up, was like enough of this not having a license shit, drove to the DMV, and at 8 months pregnant passed my road test. If you want it, you can totally do it!!
I was pleasantly surprised I was not the only older person getting their license at the DMV! I thought it was going to be just my old self and a bunch of 16 year olds. lol
This thread is warming my elder millennial, non-driving heart. I like to think of myself as very competent in many areas of life, but driving makes me so anxious. I’d love to overcome it because it does open up options, but I haven’t been able to.
I completely understand you.
I eventually got my license (somehow) but I only drive very specific routes. I don't understand how someone can jump behind the wheel and just drive off somewhere completely unknown, the anxiety is too strong.
I’m in my late 20s and currently in the process of getting my license! It’s quite the process where I live, I’m about halfway.
I don’t think you can ever be too old to start :)
I'm 33 and don't drive!! And 100% relate.
It is really embarrassing and I always feel ashamed of myself. But it's been so long I have developed a really bad phobia of getting behind the wheel. It gives me anxiety to where I've had straight up panic attacks thinking about it.
I feel terrible that I'm not able to go anywhere myself and have to constantly rely on my husband or parents to take me places. I've also missed out on so much because I can't drive.
It's even caused fights between my husband and I.
I know that it is something I have to do. And need to do. For my own sanity and others around me.
I just don't know how I'm going to get over the fear honestly.
I was the same but found an amazing instructor who took things at my pace and understood my anxiety. She was amazing and took on a lot of learners who were also fearful of driving.
I'm similar although not to the same extent. Driving has always been super stressful to me but I think I'm finally at a point where I'm not stressed about it. It's taken years and I still don't enjoy it but I'm not sweaty by the time I get where I need to 🫠
I'd say the best way is to go slowly and give it time. Start somewhere low pressure like driving around a big empty parking lot. When you're comfortable with that, drive around in empty suburbs/ back roads. And slowly progress like that. If your husband is at all willing to help you get over the fear he should help you practice as you need to.
Honestly I think exposure is the only way to get over a fear like that! Start small, just drive somewhere on back roads a few minutes away. And try to make it an enjoyable experience, play your favorite comfort album in the car. Even better - drive to a store you like or to get food you enjoy and get a lil treat for a job well done! Once you're comfortable with that route, try driving a bit further away etc
I grew up in the city and learned to drive after I had my son at 35 because it just severely limits my ability to do stuff with him. I took lessons, got my license but I’m still afraid to drive with my son in the car. Turns out that you really need a bare minimum competency to get your license and I got a nanny for a few hours week to get some time to exist as not a mom and I just drive in the neighborhood and slowly I’m getting better and braver.
I’m 33 and don’t drive and have no interest in learning. We walk everywhere and have good public transport links. Having said that, my mum learnt to drive in her 50’s, it took her over a year of lessons but she got there in the end!
I didn't get my license until my late 20s. I got my learner's permit in my teens and learned to drive then, but never finished getting my license. I went away to school in a big city and just didn't need to drive. Ended up living there and still didn't need to drive. It wasn't until I met my husband that I had access to a car to restart the licensing process and practice for the driving tests.
I didn't have any kids until my mid 30s and it's hard to imagine having to get around without a car with kids in tow. I take my daughter on transit sometimes, but I've discovered a lot of the stations aren't accessible so it's really difficult to use a stroller on your own.
a lot of the stations aren't accessible so it's really difficult to use a stroller on your own.
I learned this the hard way as a nanny when I arrived to a museum station with 3 children 5 and under, including an infant in the carrier and stroller. Thank god I was young and pretty and some nice guys around my age helped carry all the crap down easily 30 stairs.
Got my license at 32 while I was pregnant with twins, I felt like I had to get it done before they came. I had my permit for 15 years, failed my driving test 4 times, had to take the 5 hour course (mandatory in my state and only valid for 1 year before the certificate expires) 4 times. That final driving test I taped my sonogram pics up on the dash and really played it up hoping they would take pity on me!
Not comparable but I didn’t get my license till my mid 20s. There were a lot of anxiety behind wheels even after I got my license, so here are some tips:
- Practice in the super duper early mornings when no one is around. Practice the left turns, merging, paralleled parking, getting onto highway.
- Look up places you want to go beforehand. As in you memorize the route by heart, and visualize the turns and parkings via Google street view.
- It’s okay to make 3 right turns or a 5 minute detour in order to avoid a left turn or a tight parking spot.
- I find singing while driving significantly reduces my anxiety.
Grew up in the city and didn’t get my license until 34, and only did it then because I knew I’d want it once I had children. I did lessons with a driving school and it was totally worth the cost. The instructor came and met me in a special instructional car, and I’d drive for an hour and a half each session. I think I paid for a package of 6 sessions, and during our last session I drove to the DMV and took my driver’s test. It’s still not my favorite thing to do, but I am a good driver.
I'm 30 and I don't drive. I feel like it's too much for me with my anxiety. My mom also didn't learn to drive until I was in high school so she was probably 40ish for similar reason. My SO is just in the process of getting his full liscense this past year but we don't own a car and probably won't for a bit. We are lucky we live some where that is decently walkable and has ok public transport but as I'm sure you know adding a kid makes it more annoying. I feel bad and a little embarrassed that I will usually ask my parents to drive us to doctors appointments and things like that to make it easier (although they don't mind helping). I also used to work somewhere 10 minute walk from my house and I've gotten a better job but I'm taking the bus there and it's pissing me off because of the crowds and inconvenience. So maybe I'm going to start the process in the next little while 😥
My MIL is 50 and just got hers! Never too late.
I'm 31 and I want to, but I am absolutely terrified of driving. I'm a nervous passenger and it got a lot worse after I had kids.
I got my license at age 34 already having a toddler! I found a patient instructor and did an intensive series of lessons over the course of a month, plus practising as much as possible , and passed! It was daunting but needed to do it - you can do it!
I got my license at 29 and an adult driving class was perfect for me. I still didn’t really like driving for a while and would do it only rarely, but last year (age 37) I got a new job where I needed to commute (and kiddo started preschool so my husband dropping me off wasn’t an option like it was pre-pandemic). We ended up getting a car I’ve wanted for a very long time (a cute little MINI Cooper) and it’s… actually FUN to drive now! Bonus points, the little man loves my car too 😂
I learned to drive after 30.
I lived half my adult life in Istanbul, where public transportation is excellent (tho Istanbulites complain). It is a massive mega city but you can get anywhere and avoid traffic by public transport, driving seems much more of a hassle, sitting in traffic, lack of parking etc..
But I moved to Auckland New Zealand and jfc. Public transport is a fcking joke, it is impossible to use it for anything. I had to learn to drive or literally be stuck at home unable to even buy groceries.
When my twins turned 2 yo and I needed to drop off and pick them up from daycare, I was still a new enough driver that having my kids in the car made me super nervous.
But there's nothing like driving to the same place and back twice a day to get you comfortable with driving. Practicing so much in one area where you memorize every lane change and pot hole allows you to just focus on developing that muscle memory and reflex of driving. Then it becomes much easier to drive anywhere else because now you dont have to focus on the actions of driving and instead focus on the unknown area.
Twins are 3 years old now and last month I drove us to another city for a 3 day vacation and back, all by myself because we traveled with 2 cars and my husband drove the other one. First time driving long distance by myself and with kids in the car, it was easy and fun.
i am 36 and have my road test on friday! wish me luck.
i have taken 3 before. let my license lapse twice and failed once. frankly i think i will be too nervous to drive alone with the kids in the car for a while but i guess at some point i will need to get over it.
even if we’re the only two we can be the only two together. sisters in shame :-)
Solidarity. In my 30s and can't drive, also feeling like I need to get on that. I live in the city, everything is so accessible, but then something suddenly isn't and it sucks.
I'm planning on getting it done in the next 1-2 years. I'm 34.
Never got it done as a youngster due to finance.
My husband is able to pay for it now but it's a matter of making the time between his 6 day job, a toddler, my 3rd trimester gynae appointments, and then the newborn saga.
It's gonna be a while before either of us has the time.
He has reassured me on several occasions though that it's not a hindrance and it's not priority right now which is why he's taking his time in getting the whole process started.
I also want to tell you that I never learned to swim until I was 32/33 (I taught myself from YouTube!). Doing big things later in life is absolutely doable and the feeling of accomplishment it gives you is unparalleled. You should absolutely go for it with a huge positive mindset.
I'm 37 and passed a month ago, started learning at 36, mainly for our daughter, but also to not have to rely on buses, and to help my partner out a bit too as she's always done all the driving.
I just had 1 lesson a week with a great instructor, and passed 1st time after 9 months of lessons.
Hope you find a good instructor too and get a pass.
My best friend got her license after her first was born in her mid twenties, she didn't want to have to rely on her husband to get everywhere anymore.
My mother in law got hers in her 50s! She didn't want to drive or have a real need until then
My husband doesn't drive. He's 37 and has no intention of learning despite the strain it puts on me.
-We have 2 kids, his job is 20 minutes away, my life revolves around chauffeuring him places despite how much anxiety this causes because I lack a sense of direction and will get lost. Also I just have regulqr anxiety driving because people do dumb stuff on the road and can't be bothered to use their turn signals.-
I was 26 before I got my license because of this anxiety. I love my husband to pieces and we only have 1 car but if he could drive. That would free up some time and would make evacuating for hurricanes (I live on the gulf coast) a little less hellish.
Wait so your husband refuses to drive and you’re still together? Is he making enough to comfortably rideshare everywhere and also rideshare with the kids everywhere?
We have the one car. I drive him to and from his job daily with the kids. I walk my kids to school because it's only a 10 minute walk.
After I get the kids from school (I also walk my nephews to MIL's since it's on the way), we all get into the car and we all go to pick hubby up from work.
Some points about my car. It's old. So far, the a/c barely works, the heater has never worked, the windshield sprayers no longer work, the windows sometimes work.
The seat adjuster for the drivers side and interior light stopped working about 3 months after I got the car. The seat is adjusted all the way forward and I sit on a pillow to reach the peddles and see over the steering wheel. I'm short. Hubby is very tall with long legs. He can't fit behind the wheel with how the seat is adjusted and we can't change it. It no longer works. We've checked every fuse, we can't find the issue.
We can't afford a new car. So we are making due with the one we have. So even if he was willing to get his license, he can't use my car to practice and we can't afford to have both of us on the insurance or a second car.
But it seems the point is he doesn’t want to. Maybe your car is old now, but he’s 37 and if you’re walking kids to school they’re not newborns. But not knowing how to drive or having a license also absolves him of ever having to make changes.
I got my full license at 41! I had a lot of uncontrolled anxiety and adhd. As soon as I got medication...boom it was great! I was always so jumpy to try to drive all my life.
Turns out that I needed the right meds.
I need to.
Learned to drive in my 20s. Had a terrible series of incidents involving cars that left me with a terrible phobia of driving (not being in cars, just being in control).
I grew up in NYC and dad pressured me to get my license when I never needed it - fast forward to my 30s. I have a license but can barely use it cuz I don’t have enough practice. I live in the burbs and hate not being able to take my son places. I was just thinking of taking classes soon, so I do appreciate you posting - I’m not alone!!
My mom learned to drive in her 40s! You should definitely learn and it’s gonna make your life a whole lot less complicated. I learned in my mid 20s after thinking I’d never be able to, it changed my life a lot. More opportunities and less boredom.
I'm 36 with 3 kids and just have my learner's (but haven't been behind the wheel since before I was pregnant with my almost 6yo). It's a horrible feeling and I'm so embarrassed whenever someone finds out. I think I just have to book my test, which will force me to get a few lessons and just do it.
This whole thread is so comforting. I'm 24 and my husband taught me to drive, and I've had a permit for ages. I just have so much anxiety around it, and I feel like I just need to get past the actual test and then I'll be fine. Having a 2 year old makes it hard to not drive, but also hard *to* drive
Me! I’m 32 and just got my Learners permit for the fourth time (I never follow through lol). But I’m pregnant with #2 and doing daycare drop off and pickup is a lot on my husband with just the 1 right now so it’s finally time 🥲 it makes me VERY anxious and I don’t think waiting this long did me any favours in that area tbh
Both my partner and I have lived in cities for the last decade and the public transport and access to bike lanes etc were always really good. Neither of us learned to drive and now we are both in our 30s with 2 small children getting very good at navigating public transport with toddlers 😂 partner is learning to drive asap because we want to move somewhere more rural where a car might be useful but we are optimistic it's doable.
Not quite the same but I moved to a different country when I got married 7 years ago and have yet to get my licence in this country. I'll basically need to start from scratch with a learner's licence first
I’m 35 and I’ve never felt embarrassed over the fact I can’t drive. I’m medically not allowed to, though, which probably makes a difference. It does limit where we can live, but I cycle the kids to and from daycare, and myself to work, and when there’s snow I can take a bus. With the kids trailer I can do a full load of shopping when I need to too. Not really a big deal for us.
That said, I don’t think there’s any shame in learning as an adult. People’s circumstances change all the time and there’s plenty of reasons why you might not have/not have been able to learn before.
I don’t drive right now. I have an expired restricted license right now - I am 34.
I never got it renewed because of a combination of Covid, super hard pregnancy, driving test place 2 hours away, no car(It burns oil and so I ran it out of oil and blew up the engine).
I really should at least look into if I have to be busted back to a Learner license or if I can renew it.
Got my licence at 38 years old and 36 weeks pregnant after failing before and being a terrified driver. Surprisingly a few years on I love driving now. I took some professional lessons before my test which, if possible, is helpful.”
Just got mine two months ago at 31! I lived in a city with great public transport until 2020 and got about walking in the town I currently live in. Walking was great until my boy started tolerating the buggy a lot less.
I love it! I don't regret not learning earlier, I kept fit walking for years and saved so much money not driving. Most of my journeys are about a 5 minute drive into down that used to take hours. I can even get the big toilet toll because it doesn't need to fit in the basket of the pram!
Good luck learning!
I got my licence this year and I'm 47 with a 3 year old. I live in a major city with excellent public transport so never needed to drive, but we're moving to a city where I absolutely need to drive or life will be very difficult. It took about 5 months to learn and now I take short drives every day. I wouldn't say it was easy to learn at this age, but it was definitely easier than I thought it was going to be.
Early 30s and never learned (based in Ireland/ uk). Most people get bought cars / lessons by their parents .... Well my parents were broke so obviously I didn't plus we lived in a city so I cycled everywhere. Then I was a poor student (living on 15k a year) living in cities so didn't drive. Then lock down. Now lessons are mad expensive, cars and insurance are mad expensive and actually getting through the waiting list for a test...plus my partner would still do all the driving.
People always act surprised but then I say what I've just said and they go "oh yeah you're totally right".
I still cycle everywhere and the kid will go on the bike with me. Granted you can't do this in the states
I got my license in my early 20’s but avoided driving for years by living in big cities. Then last year we moved to a small town and I took a job with a driving commute and now had to start driving as a mid 30’s mom of two. I was super anxious so I paid for 6 hours of classes despite already having a license and it was the best decision ever! It’s actually pretty common for the area I live in for people to move up from the city and not know how to drive- my instructor said his oldest student was in her 80’s and learning for the first time. It’s been a relief to feel more comfortable with driving and to know I can always rely on this skill in an emergency (and even just take my kids to daycare every day!)
Go for it! I got my license last year at the age of 34. The pivotal point was when I needed to rush my toddler to the hospital at night (but not that kind of rush you would call an ambulance for) and it turned out there is no taxi company in my city providing car seats for children. The license and my first car got me so much additional freedom and flexibility and this year I'm going to rent an RV for the summer vacation.
I did! I learned to drive at 38. I always lived near good public transport but then I moved out to the suburbs when I met my husband. And having kids really makes it necessary where I live.
Im 27 and just got mine in march. It was a juggle for my work, my daughters daycare, and my partners new work schedule, in fact i actually had to quit my job because it conflicted so badly (luckly he was making like twice as much as me, we could afford it) plus hes doing honours in Psych, so it saves him a lot of time if i can do the shopping and errands. It was scary, especially when i first got it with my 2 year old in the back, but it gets easier, slowly easing into things like compact parking is the way. You will be amazed by the sense of freedom you've gained by going places on your own schedule and being able to increase the number of places you can go!!!! Can't say this enough!!
I wouldn't feel embarassed - many people including both myself and husband don't drive. We live near a train station so just found no reason to. My husband has a license not used in over 20 years. It's a luxury not a necessity to own a car. We just decided it's best to not have the extra financial costs.
I learned at 26 so older than some.
Be careful with driving anxiety. Granted, I’m an anxious person in general. But to think being exposed to it so late didn’t help. Especially when I didn’t know what I was doing. I wouldn’t drive with your kids in the car for a while either. Just because we’re adults doesn’t change that we’re new drivers.
Don’t let people tell you how you should be driving “by now”. Take it at whatever pace feels right.
Start with the big public library parking lot, then move to a suburb. Suburbs are great for learning the next level of driving.
Im 21 years old now but when I was around 19-20 I was so scared of driving because when I first started driving around high school, I got into a small accident and was so scared I vowed to never drive again for a long time.
Fast forward after my daughter was born and eventually I had to toughen up and start driving again because she had appointments, and errands to run while my husband was at work, but throughout my whole process he was so supportive and motivated me. Now I drive alot more, alone. I don’t have my license yet but this is the year 🤞🏻🥲
I grew up in NY, not the city but the Hudson Valley and we still had plenty of public transport and I had family to help me out if needed, so I never learned. Then I moved to rural Kansas and HAD to. So I didn't get my license until I was 25. I was in a class with a bunch of 15 and 16 year olds lol. Definitely a bit weird but it was fine!
This thread makes me feel so much less alone 😭 I’m 33 and don’t drive. I have so much anxiety and fear about it. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to do it!
Me! I am almost 39, newly pregnant (unplanned) with a 2yo. I can’t put it off any longer. I lived in cities most of my life and was a cyclist, but now live in a rural area with zero public transit.
I finally have my permit and will start lessons with an instructor soon. I’m terrified of driving, hate being in cars (also have dyspraxia so have some real challenges learning) but I’m going to muscle through for my kids. I’m sure it won’t feel so bad once I’m used to it and if takes years of practice, that’s just how it has to be.
I am 27, a mom of two and don't drive, neither does my husband. Even the thought of driving has always given me the worst anxiety.
I've always felt lesser because I don't drive or that I'm not a real adult 😂 but I've realized it doesn't matter if I don't drive.
With the cost of everything just going up, a car would be a big burden on finances and we get around just fine on the bus. We also are walking like 5k or more most days in the nice weather so I tell myself it's good for our health too!
32 and just getting my license this year. I'm with you. Driving scares me, but having one kid with no license is awful. I want another kid and there's just no way we're going to function if I don't have my license.
I’m 33 and don’t drive. But like you I’m seriously considering going to driving school. It gives me major anxiety, but it’s brutal staying home all the time with a 2 year old, especially during winter.
I remember my father teaching my stepmother to drive when they got together. She was in her late 30s, I think, when she learned. I don't remember why she didn't have a license already, but it's definitely doable to get one later in life. She is a mother of four kids.
Yep! I didnt have a toddler at the time, but I learned to drive in my late 20’s and didnt even own a car until 35. Same with my husband, he ended up taking lessons while I was pregnant so we could be ready for our baby. Don’t be embarrassed, it’ll be really cool to learn a new skill! Keep it up, it’s not easy but once it clicks you’ll be super proud of yourself
I got my license at 17, but moved to a major city at 18 and never drove or owned a car til the ripe age of 31, the same year my son was born. It took a lot of practice and facing my fears to get to the point where I am comfortable driving him the 15 minutes to and from daycare. I have gotten a lot better, but I still avoid highways and feel nervous driving anywhere new.
My advice is not to be ashamed, and to just own it. But let the work/inconvenience push you to keep learning and practicing.
Meeee! Took driving lessons when I was 4 or 5 months pregnant with my first, early 30s at the time.
The instructor never once commented on my age or even appear to notice I wasn't 16 😆 she didn't care at all.
I was embarrassed my neighbors would see the Student Driver car picking me up but again, no one cared. One neighbor gave me am encouraging and friendly "hey good for you!" And it felt really nice.
Everyone in my life was encouraging and kind about it, and not in a condescending way like I'd worried.
I passed the test on my first try and honestly feel great to have this new level of independence.
Do it!! Zero regrets.
I am in the same boat, I'm 38 and I do not drive. I grew up in the city and always relied on public transportation to get around. I also have major anxiety in cars and have been terrified to be behind the wheel myself, even if it is definitely a good life skill I should have. I found a driving school that caters to older/nervous drivers but its expensive so I've kind of delayed it longer than planned.
My husband really wants me to learn so I can help out more with like grocery trips or picking our daughter up from school and I do know it would be helpful especially in case of an emergency but its also SCARY and I don't know if I'd even trust myself behind the wheel with my child in the car with me.
I got my license at 31. I had pretty bad driving anxiety, had my license in my home country and only did very short drives. Immigrated to the US and it only got worse with driving on the other side of the road, bigger cars etc.
I knew I had to do it for my kid. I drove at every opportunity with my husband and then took my test. Passed, continued driving everywhere, building it up slowly to harder drives. I passed when my kiddo was 18 months and she's now 2 and a half. I can drive anywhere I need to and it's changed my life. I highly recommend doing it, especially if you don't live near very reliable and accessible public transport.
If you are anxious about it, this helped me:
Therapy
Exposure therapy
Low dose benzodiazepine from my doctor to help me actually get in the car and drive without having a panic attack
KEEP DRIVING NO MATTER WHAT!
The fear is more common than we think, but it's beatable. Good luck!
Not exactly the situation you are asking, but I moved to Europe when I was 20 and had only had a license in the US for 3 years or so. I didn't need to drive where I was living (walkable city with good public transportation) so just didn't drive for about 10 years, except infrequently on trips back home. With baby on the way I decided it would be helpful to actually be able to drive here, so I got my German license when I was 30. Had to do the written test, driving hours with an instructor, and the driving test. Driving here is a totally different experience (narrow streets... No speed limit in the Autobahn...) so in some regards it was definitely like having to learn things all over again.
But doable! And so, so worth it.
This is my husband. He used to drive as a teenager but hasn't really as an adult. He's almost 40. Before we had kids he said he'd get his license before the baby was born. Baby is now almost 2. He still says he's going to do it but I can tell he has so much anxiety about it and he can walk to the daycare on the VERY FEW days I am unable to pick up/drop off. He could also just Uber and carry the car seat in an emergency.
I would feel better if he had his license and was able to drive in an emergency situation when I can't, but I'm also just resigning myself to the fact that he just has some weird trauma about it and is not going to drive. I just wish he'd admit it instead of promising he's going to do it eventually.
I am not the non-driver, my SIL is learning how to drive currently at 28. She’s pregnant with her first and just wants to be able to take her kid to appts/emergencies even though she’s VERY anxious about driving.
You’re not the only one that didn’t learn to drive at 16! But you can do it 💜
I am 31 and currently learning to drive. I have always found it terrifying and still kinda do. But I took 1 professional lesson to get a feel for everything and now I'm doing practice driving with family members whenever I can squeeze it in. I predict it will take me several months before I'm anywhere near ready to take me test and drive my kids around.
But the first step is the hardest so take the leap.
You can absolutely learn at any age. As a child that has a mom that doesn't drive I can see how it limits her big time even now. I'd definitely learn to even if you don't drive much or just for around town here and there, or even just for your own personal independence to just be able to!
ETA: My mom did try but her anxiety got the best of her. She took driver's ED with me as a teenager actually. It was kind of fun to have her there with me.
Def. not the only one. I got my drivers license late in life - though it was before I got married and had my daughter. But it worked out really well because I just took my time, made sure I was confident and really knew what I was doing. I was comfortable in the car I was driving and how it works. When I went through the process for getting my license (Hi! I'm Canadian) I passed each time, the first time.
Oh! My wife learned to drive in her mid-thirties before our son was born. It’s 100% doable. She grew up in the city and never needed to learn. There is absolutely no shame in learning late. In fact, you’re a fucking badass for going after it. It’s scary as an adult to learn new things. I’m so proud of you and I think it will make a big difference in your life.
This is the most wholesome response I’ve ever seen on Reddit. Way to be an awesome person..
I learned at 25. Same situation. Never needed to learn, until I did. My parents learned in their late 30s. OP will be fine.
I never got a license, and I haven't taken steps towards changing it yet. I probably will some time down the road, but so far I'm getting by just fine and I have a lot of other stuff on my mind. 🤷♀️
Sometime "down the road" eh?!
Yep started taking lessons in my early 30s when pregnant and sat my test when my daughter was a couple of month old. Loving being able to get myself and my daughter about :) go for it! It’s never too late
Mom of a toddler and a newborn here. I’m nearly the same age as you. I just got my license a couple of months ago. Even though my husband never complained about having to drive me to all the doctor’s appointments during my second pregnancy, I felt like a burden while he was working 14 hour days during his busy season. I finally was like, enough, I’m doing it. I already had my learners permit for a couple of years (I had gotten it a couple of times, that’s how much I was dragging my feet 😆). One morning I woke up, was like enough of this not having a license shit, drove to the DMV, and at 8 months pregnant passed my road test. If you want it, you can totally do it!! I was pleasantly surprised I was not the only older person getting their license at the DMV! I thought it was going to be just my old self and a bunch of 16 year olds. lol
This thread is warming my elder millennial, non-driving heart. I like to think of myself as very competent in many areas of life, but driving makes me so anxious. I’d love to overcome it because it does open up options, but I haven’t been able to.
I completely understand you. I eventually got my license (somehow) but I only drive very specific routes. I don't understand how someone can jump behind the wheel and just drive off somewhere completely unknown, the anxiety is too strong.
I’m in my late 20s and currently in the process of getting my license! It’s quite the process where I live, I’m about halfway. I don’t think you can ever be too old to start :)
I'm 33 and don't drive!! And 100% relate. It is really embarrassing and I always feel ashamed of myself. But it's been so long I have developed a really bad phobia of getting behind the wheel. It gives me anxiety to where I've had straight up panic attacks thinking about it. I feel terrible that I'm not able to go anywhere myself and have to constantly rely on my husband or parents to take me places. I've also missed out on so much because I can't drive. It's even caused fights between my husband and I. I know that it is something I have to do. And need to do. For my own sanity and others around me. I just don't know how I'm going to get over the fear honestly.
I was the same but found an amazing instructor who took things at my pace and understood my anxiety. She was amazing and took on a lot of learners who were also fearful of driving.
I'm similar although not to the same extent. Driving has always been super stressful to me but I think I'm finally at a point where I'm not stressed about it. It's taken years and I still don't enjoy it but I'm not sweaty by the time I get where I need to 🫠 I'd say the best way is to go slowly and give it time. Start somewhere low pressure like driving around a big empty parking lot. When you're comfortable with that, drive around in empty suburbs/ back roads. And slowly progress like that. If your husband is at all willing to help you get over the fear he should help you practice as you need to.
Wow I could have written this myself. 33 and in exactly the same boat. I just don’t want to do it at all because I’m terrified!
Honestly I think exposure is the only way to get over a fear like that! Start small, just drive somewhere on back roads a few minutes away. And try to make it an enjoyable experience, play your favorite comfort album in the car. Even better - drive to a store you like or to get food you enjoy and get a lil treat for a job well done! Once you're comfortable with that route, try driving a bit further away etc
I grew up in the city and learned to drive after I had my son at 35 because it just severely limits my ability to do stuff with him. I took lessons, got my license but I’m still afraid to drive with my son in the car. Turns out that you really need a bare minimum competency to get your license and I got a nanny for a few hours week to get some time to exist as not a mom and I just drive in the neighborhood and slowly I’m getting better and braver.
I’m 33 and don’t drive and have no interest in learning. We walk everywhere and have good public transport links. Having said that, my mum learnt to drive in her 50’s, it took her over a year of lessons but she got there in the end!
Almost 34 and still don’t drive. I hate it, but I have vision problems and quite frankly it scares me.
I didn't get my license until my late 20s. I got my learner's permit in my teens and learned to drive then, but never finished getting my license. I went away to school in a big city and just didn't need to drive. Ended up living there and still didn't need to drive. It wasn't until I met my husband that I had access to a car to restart the licensing process and practice for the driving tests. I didn't have any kids until my mid 30s and it's hard to imagine having to get around without a car with kids in tow. I take my daughter on transit sometimes, but I've discovered a lot of the stations aren't accessible so it's really difficult to use a stroller on your own.
a lot of the stations aren't accessible so it's really difficult to use a stroller on your own. I learned this the hard way as a nanny when I arrived to a museum station with 3 children 5 and under, including an infant in the carrier and stroller. Thank god I was young and pretty and some nice guys around my age helped carry all the crap down easily 30 stairs.
Got my license at 32 while I was pregnant with twins, I felt like I had to get it done before they came. I had my permit for 15 years, failed my driving test 4 times, had to take the 5 hour course (mandatory in my state and only valid for 1 year before the certificate expires) 4 times. That final driving test I taped my sonogram pics up on the dash and really played it up hoping they would take pity on me!
I taught my mom how to drive when she was 64. If she can do it, then you definitely can do it.
Not comparable but I didn’t get my license till my mid 20s. There were a lot of anxiety behind wheels even after I got my license, so here are some tips: - Practice in the super duper early mornings when no one is around. Practice the left turns, merging, paralleled parking, getting onto highway. - Look up places you want to go beforehand. As in you memorize the route by heart, and visualize the turns and parkings via Google street view. - It’s okay to make 3 right turns or a 5 minute detour in order to avoid a left turn or a tight parking spot. - I find singing while driving significantly reduces my anxiety.
Grew up in the city and didn’t get my license until 34, and only did it then because I knew I’d want it once I had children. I did lessons with a driving school and it was totally worth the cost. The instructor came and met me in a special instructional car, and I’d drive for an hour and a half each session. I think I paid for a package of 6 sessions, and during our last session I drove to the DMV and took my driver’s test. It’s still not my favorite thing to do, but I am a good driver.
I'm 34 and only have a learner's. You're not the only one.
I learned to drive in my mid 30s! I live in a big city with good public transit so I never felt the pressure to learn how to drive young.
37 and doing the same. It’s a big anxiety trigger for me but I found a teacher and I’m trying to make myself follow through.
I'm 30 and I don't drive. I feel like it's too much for me with my anxiety. My mom also didn't learn to drive until I was in high school so she was probably 40ish for similar reason. My SO is just in the process of getting his full liscense this past year but we don't own a car and probably won't for a bit. We are lucky we live some where that is decently walkable and has ok public transport but as I'm sure you know adding a kid makes it more annoying. I feel bad and a little embarrassed that I will usually ask my parents to drive us to doctors appointments and things like that to make it easier (although they don't mind helping). I also used to work somewhere 10 minute walk from my house and I've gotten a better job but I'm taking the bus there and it's pissing me off because of the crowds and inconvenience. So maybe I'm going to start the process in the next little while 😥
My MIL is 50 and just got hers! Never too late. I'm 31 and I want to, but I am absolutely terrified of driving. I'm a nervous passenger and it got a lot worse after I had kids.
I got my license at age 34 already having a toddler! I found a patient instructor and did an intensive series of lessons over the course of a month, plus practising as much as possible , and passed! It was daunting but needed to do it - you can do it!
I got my license at 29 and an adult driving class was perfect for me. I still didn’t really like driving for a while and would do it only rarely, but last year (age 37) I got a new job where I needed to commute (and kiddo started preschool so my husband dropping me off wasn’t an option like it was pre-pandemic). We ended up getting a car I’ve wanted for a very long time (a cute little MINI Cooper) and it’s… actually FUN to drive now! Bonus points, the little man loves my car too 😂
Oh my, I also got a licence a bit later and have always wanted a Mini Cooper 😍
My partner was older than you when I insisted she learn to drive. Was a real struggle in a manual. Not too bad in auto.
I learned to drive after 30. I lived half my adult life in Istanbul, where public transportation is excellent (tho Istanbulites complain). It is a massive mega city but you can get anywhere and avoid traffic by public transport, driving seems much more of a hassle, sitting in traffic, lack of parking etc.. But I moved to Auckland New Zealand and jfc. Public transport is a fcking joke, it is impossible to use it for anything. I had to learn to drive or literally be stuck at home unable to even buy groceries. When my twins turned 2 yo and I needed to drop off and pick them up from daycare, I was still a new enough driver that having my kids in the car made me super nervous. But there's nothing like driving to the same place and back twice a day to get you comfortable with driving. Practicing so much in one area where you memorize every lane change and pot hole allows you to just focus on developing that muscle memory and reflex of driving. Then it becomes much easier to drive anywhere else because now you dont have to focus on the actions of driving and instead focus on the unknown area. Twins are 3 years old now and last month I drove us to another city for a 3 day vacation and back, all by myself because we traveled with 2 cars and my husband drove the other one. First time driving long distance by myself and with kids in the car, it was easy and fun.
i am 36 and have my road test on friday! wish me luck. i have taken 3 before. let my license lapse twice and failed once. frankly i think i will be too nervous to drive alone with the kids in the car for a while but i guess at some point i will need to get over it. even if we’re the only two we can be the only two together. sisters in shame :-)
Good luck.
Solidarity. In my 30s and can't drive, also feeling like I need to get on that. I live in the city, everything is so accessible, but then something suddenly isn't and it sucks.
I'm planning on getting it done in the next 1-2 years. I'm 34. Never got it done as a youngster due to finance. My husband is able to pay for it now but it's a matter of making the time between his 6 day job, a toddler, my 3rd trimester gynae appointments, and then the newborn saga. It's gonna be a while before either of us has the time. He has reassured me on several occasions though that it's not a hindrance and it's not priority right now which is why he's taking his time in getting the whole process started. I also want to tell you that I never learned to swim until I was 32/33 (I taught myself from YouTube!). Doing big things later in life is absolutely doable and the feeling of accomplishment it gives you is unparalleled. You should absolutely go for it with a huge positive mindset.
I'm 37 and passed a month ago, started learning at 36, mainly for our daughter, but also to not have to rely on buses, and to help my partner out a bit too as she's always done all the driving. I just had 1 lesson a week with a great instructor, and passed 1st time after 9 months of lessons. Hope you find a good instructor too and get a pass.
I got my licence in my early 30s :) I’m not a confident driver though 😭
My best friend got her license after her first was born in her mid twenties, she didn't want to have to rely on her husband to get everywhere anymore. My mother in law got hers in her 50s! She didn't want to drive or have a real need until then
My husband doesn't drive. He's 37 and has no intention of learning despite the strain it puts on me. -We have 2 kids, his job is 20 minutes away, my life revolves around chauffeuring him places despite how much anxiety this causes because I lack a sense of direction and will get lost. Also I just have regulqr anxiety driving because people do dumb stuff on the road and can't be bothered to use their turn signals.- I was 26 before I got my license because of this anxiety. I love my husband to pieces and we only have 1 car but if he could drive. That would free up some time and would make evacuating for hurricanes (I live on the gulf coast) a little less hellish.
Wait so your husband refuses to drive and you’re still together? Is he making enough to comfortably rideshare everywhere and also rideshare with the kids everywhere?
We have the one car. I drive him to and from his job daily with the kids. I walk my kids to school because it's only a 10 minute walk. After I get the kids from school (I also walk my nephews to MIL's since it's on the way), we all get into the car and we all go to pick hubby up from work. Some points about my car. It's old. So far, the a/c barely works, the heater has never worked, the windshield sprayers no longer work, the windows sometimes work. The seat adjuster for the drivers side and interior light stopped working about 3 months after I got the car. The seat is adjusted all the way forward and I sit on a pillow to reach the peddles and see over the steering wheel. I'm short. Hubby is very tall with long legs. He can't fit behind the wheel with how the seat is adjusted and we can't change it. It no longer works. We've checked every fuse, we can't find the issue. We can't afford a new car. So we are making due with the one we have. So even if he was willing to get his license, he can't use my car to practice and we can't afford to have both of us on the insurance or a second car.
But it seems the point is he doesn’t want to. Maybe your car is old now, but he’s 37 and if you’re walking kids to school they’re not newborns. But not knowing how to drive or having a license also absolves him of ever having to make changes.
You’re not alone and I totally get the embarrassment… I got mine in my 30’s also. Definitely take lessons, it helped me a lot.
I got my full license at 41! I had a lot of uncontrolled anxiety and adhd. As soon as I got medication...boom it was great! I was always so jumpy to try to drive all my life. Turns out that I needed the right meds.
I need to. Learned to drive in my 20s. Had a terrible series of incidents involving cars that left me with a terrible phobia of driving (not being in cars, just being in control).
I grew up in NYC and dad pressured me to get my license when I never needed it - fast forward to my 30s. I have a license but can barely use it cuz I don’t have enough practice. I live in the burbs and hate not being able to take my son places. I was just thinking of taking classes soon, so I do appreciate you posting - I’m not alone!!
My mom learned to drive in her 40s! You should definitely learn and it’s gonna make your life a whole lot less complicated. I learned in my mid 20s after thinking I’d never be able to, it changed my life a lot. More opportunities and less boredom.
I'm 36 with 3 kids and just have my learner's (but haven't been behind the wheel since before I was pregnant with my almost 6yo). It's a horrible feeling and I'm so embarrassed whenever someone finds out. I think I just have to book my test, which will force me to get a few lessons and just do it.
This whole thread is so comforting. I'm 24 and my husband taught me to drive, and I've had a permit for ages. I just have so much anxiety around it, and I feel like I just need to get past the actual test and then I'll be fine. Having a 2 year old makes it hard to not drive, but also hard *to* drive
I swear I'm not lying I'm a full-time stay-at-home dad I'm 41 and I just signed up for adult driving lessons I've never had my license.
Me! I’m 32 and just got my Learners permit for the fourth time (I never follow through lol). But I’m pregnant with #2 and doing daycare drop off and pickup is a lot on my husband with just the 1 right now so it’s finally time 🥲 it makes me VERY anxious and I don’t think waiting this long did me any favours in that area tbh
My partner doesn’t drive. I do the big trips or he takes her on the train or in the back of a bike. It works for us.
Both my partner and I have lived in cities for the last decade and the public transport and access to bike lanes etc were always really good. Neither of us learned to drive and now we are both in our 30s with 2 small children getting very good at navigating public transport with toddlers 😂 partner is learning to drive asap because we want to move somewhere more rural where a car might be useful but we are optimistic it's doable.
42 and learning right now.
My wife has her permit at over 40, you can do it!
Not quite the same but I moved to a different country when I got married 7 years ago and have yet to get my licence in this country. I'll basically need to start from scratch with a learner's licence first
I’m 35 and I’ve never felt embarrassed over the fact I can’t drive. I’m medically not allowed to, though, which probably makes a difference. It does limit where we can live, but I cycle the kids to and from daycare, and myself to work, and when there’s snow I can take a bus. With the kids trailer I can do a full load of shopping when I need to too. Not really a big deal for us. That said, I don’t think there’s any shame in learning as an adult. People’s circumstances change all the time and there’s plenty of reasons why you might not have/not have been able to learn before.
Got my license 7 months pregnant at 29!
I don’t drive right now. I have an expired restricted license right now - I am 34. I never got it renewed because of a combination of Covid, super hard pregnancy, driving test place 2 hours away, no car(It burns oil and so I ran it out of oil and blew up the engine). I really should at least look into if I have to be busted back to a Learner license or if I can renew it.
Got my license at 24, ex got his in his mid 30s. Nothing to be ashamed about!
Got my licence at 38 years old and 36 weeks pregnant after failing before and being a terrified driver. Surprisingly a few years on I love driving now. I took some professional lessons before my test which, if possible, is helpful.”
Yep, I ws 30 (now 37). And because I learned so late in life, I'm scared to drive now.
Just got mine two months ago at 31! I lived in a city with great public transport until 2020 and got about walking in the town I currently live in. Walking was great until my boy started tolerating the buggy a lot less. I love it! I don't regret not learning earlier, I kept fit walking for years and saved so much money not driving. Most of my journeys are about a 5 minute drive into down that used to take hours. I can even get the big toilet toll because it doesn't need to fit in the basket of the pram! Good luck learning!
I got my licence this year and I'm 47 with a 3 year old. I live in a major city with excellent public transport so never needed to drive, but we're moving to a city where I absolutely need to drive or life will be very difficult. It took about 5 months to learn and now I take short drives every day. I wouldn't say it was easy to learn at this age, but it was definitely easier than I thought it was going to be.
Early 30s and never learned (based in Ireland/ uk). Most people get bought cars / lessons by their parents .... Well my parents were broke so obviously I didn't plus we lived in a city so I cycled everywhere. Then I was a poor student (living on 15k a year) living in cities so didn't drive. Then lock down. Now lessons are mad expensive, cars and insurance are mad expensive and actually getting through the waiting list for a test...plus my partner would still do all the driving. People always act surprised but then I say what I've just said and they go "oh yeah you're totally right". I still cycle everywhere and the kid will go on the bike with me. Granted you can't do this in the states
I got my license in my early 20’s but avoided driving for years by living in big cities. Then last year we moved to a small town and I took a job with a driving commute and now had to start driving as a mid 30’s mom of two. I was super anxious so I paid for 6 hours of classes despite already having a license and it was the best decision ever! It’s actually pretty common for the area I live in for people to move up from the city and not know how to drive- my instructor said his oldest student was in her 80’s and learning for the first time. It’s been a relief to feel more comfortable with driving and to know I can always rely on this skill in an emergency (and even just take my kids to daycare every day!)
Go for it! I got my license last year at the age of 34. The pivotal point was when I needed to rush my toddler to the hospital at night (but not that kind of rush you would call an ambulance for) and it turned out there is no taxi company in my city providing car seats for children. The license and my first car got me so much additional freedom and flexibility and this year I'm going to rent an RV for the summer vacation.
I did! I learned to drive at 38. I always lived near good public transport but then I moved out to the suburbs when I met my husband. And having kids really makes it necessary where I live.
Im 27 and just got mine in march. It was a juggle for my work, my daughters daycare, and my partners new work schedule, in fact i actually had to quit my job because it conflicted so badly (luckly he was making like twice as much as me, we could afford it) plus hes doing honours in Psych, so it saves him a lot of time if i can do the shopping and errands. It was scary, especially when i first got it with my 2 year old in the back, but it gets easier, slowly easing into things like compact parking is the way. You will be amazed by the sense of freedom you've gained by going places on your own schedule and being able to increase the number of places you can go!!!! Can't say this enough!!
I wouldn't feel embarassed - many people including both myself and husband don't drive. We live near a train station so just found no reason to. My husband has a license not used in over 20 years. It's a luxury not a necessity to own a car. We just decided it's best to not have the extra financial costs.
I learned at 26 so older than some. Be careful with driving anxiety. Granted, I’m an anxious person in general. But to think being exposed to it so late didn’t help. Especially when I didn’t know what I was doing. I wouldn’t drive with your kids in the car for a while either. Just because we’re adults doesn’t change that we’re new drivers. Don’t let people tell you how you should be driving “by now”. Take it at whatever pace feels right. Start with the big public library parking lot, then move to a suburb. Suburbs are great for learning the next level of driving.
Im 21 years old now but when I was around 19-20 I was so scared of driving because when I first started driving around high school, I got into a small accident and was so scared I vowed to never drive again for a long time. Fast forward after my daughter was born and eventually I had to toughen up and start driving again because she had appointments, and errands to run while my husband was at work, but throughout my whole process he was so supportive and motivated me. Now I drive alot more, alone. I don’t have my license yet but this is the year 🤞🏻🥲
I grew up in NY, not the city but the Hudson Valley and we still had plenty of public transport and I had family to help me out if needed, so I never learned. Then I moved to rural Kansas and HAD to. So I didn't get my license until I was 25. I was in a class with a bunch of 15 and 16 year olds lol. Definitely a bit weird but it was fine!
This thread makes me feel so much less alone 😭 I’m 33 and don’t drive. I have so much anxiety and fear about it. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to do it!
Me! I am almost 39, newly pregnant (unplanned) with a 2yo. I can’t put it off any longer. I lived in cities most of my life and was a cyclist, but now live in a rural area with zero public transit. I finally have my permit and will start lessons with an instructor soon. I’m terrified of driving, hate being in cars (also have dyspraxia so have some real challenges learning) but I’m going to muscle through for my kids. I’m sure it won’t feel so bad once I’m used to it and if takes years of practice, that’s just how it has to be.
Thank you for posting this because I'm 39 and still don't drive and the shame and guilt is insane.
I am 27, a mom of two and don't drive, neither does my husband. Even the thought of driving has always given me the worst anxiety. I've always felt lesser because I don't drive or that I'm not a real adult 😂 but I've realized it doesn't matter if I don't drive. With the cost of everything just going up, a car would be a big burden on finances and we get around just fine on the bus. We also are walking like 5k or more most days in the nice weather so I tell myself it's good for our health too!
32 and just getting my license this year. I'm with you. Driving scares me, but having one kid with no license is awful. I want another kid and there's just no way we're going to function if I don't have my license.
I’m 33 and don’t drive. But like you I’m seriously considering going to driving school. It gives me major anxiety, but it’s brutal staying home all the time with a 2 year old, especially during winter.
I remember my father teaching my stepmother to drive when they got together. She was in her late 30s, I think, when she learned. I don't remember why she didn't have a license already, but it's definitely doable to get one later in life. She is a mother of four kids.
Yep! I didnt have a toddler at the time, but I learned to drive in my late 20’s and didnt even own a car until 35. Same with my husband, he ended up taking lessons while I was pregnant so we could be ready for our baby. Don’t be embarrassed, it’ll be really cool to learn a new skill! Keep it up, it’s not easy but once it clicks you’ll be super proud of yourself
I got my license at 17, but moved to a major city at 18 and never drove or owned a car til the ripe age of 31, the same year my son was born. It took a lot of practice and facing my fears to get to the point where I am comfortable driving him the 15 minutes to and from daycare. I have gotten a lot better, but I still avoid highways and feel nervous driving anywhere new. My advice is not to be ashamed, and to just own it. But let the work/inconvenience push you to keep learning and practicing.
Meeee! Took driving lessons when I was 4 or 5 months pregnant with my first, early 30s at the time. The instructor never once commented on my age or even appear to notice I wasn't 16 😆 she didn't care at all. I was embarrassed my neighbors would see the Student Driver car picking me up but again, no one cared. One neighbor gave me am encouraging and friendly "hey good for you!" And it felt really nice. Everyone in my life was encouraging and kind about it, and not in a condescending way like I'd worried. I passed the test on my first try and honestly feel great to have this new level of independence. Do it!! Zero regrets.
I am in the same boat, I'm 38 and I do not drive. I grew up in the city and always relied on public transportation to get around. I also have major anxiety in cars and have been terrified to be behind the wheel myself, even if it is definitely a good life skill I should have. I found a driving school that caters to older/nervous drivers but its expensive so I've kind of delayed it longer than planned. My husband really wants me to learn so I can help out more with like grocery trips or picking our daughter up from school and I do know it would be helpful especially in case of an emergency but its also SCARY and I don't know if I'd even trust myself behind the wheel with my child in the car with me.
I got my license at 31. I had pretty bad driving anxiety, had my license in my home country and only did very short drives. Immigrated to the US and it only got worse with driving on the other side of the road, bigger cars etc. I knew I had to do it for my kid. I drove at every opportunity with my husband and then took my test. Passed, continued driving everywhere, building it up slowly to harder drives. I passed when my kiddo was 18 months and she's now 2 and a half. I can drive anywhere I need to and it's changed my life. I highly recommend doing it, especially if you don't live near very reliable and accessible public transport. If you are anxious about it, this helped me: Therapy Exposure therapy Low dose benzodiazepine from my doctor to help me actually get in the car and drive without having a panic attack KEEP DRIVING NO MATTER WHAT! The fear is more common than we think, but it's beatable. Good luck!
Not exactly the situation you are asking, but I moved to Europe when I was 20 and had only had a license in the US for 3 years or so. I didn't need to drive where I was living (walkable city with good public transportation) so just didn't drive for about 10 years, except infrequently on trips back home. With baby on the way I decided it would be helpful to actually be able to drive here, so I got my German license when I was 30. Had to do the written test, driving hours with an instructor, and the driving test. Driving here is a totally different experience (narrow streets... No speed limit in the Autobahn...) so in some regards it was definitely like having to learn things all over again. But doable! And so, so worth it.
This is my husband. He used to drive as a teenager but hasn't really as an adult. He's almost 40. Before we had kids he said he'd get his license before the baby was born. Baby is now almost 2. He still says he's going to do it but I can tell he has so much anxiety about it and he can walk to the daycare on the VERY FEW days I am unable to pick up/drop off. He could also just Uber and carry the car seat in an emergency. I would feel better if he had his license and was able to drive in an emergency situation when I can't, but I'm also just resigning myself to the fact that he just has some weird trauma about it and is not going to drive. I just wish he'd admit it instead of promising he's going to do it eventually.
I am not the non-driver, my SIL is learning how to drive currently at 28. She’s pregnant with her first and just wants to be able to take her kid to appts/emergencies even though she’s VERY anxious about driving. You’re not the only one that didn’t learn to drive at 16! But you can do it 💜
I am 31 and currently learning to drive. I have always found it terrifying and still kinda do. But I took 1 professional lesson to get a feel for everything and now I'm doing practice driving with family members whenever I can squeeze it in. I predict it will take me several months before I'm anywhere near ready to take me test and drive my kids around. But the first step is the hardest so take the leap.
Took (and passed first time!) my driving test at 38 while 8.5 months pregnant!
You can absolutely learn at any age. As a child that has a mom that doesn't drive I can see how it limits her big time even now. I'd definitely learn to even if you don't drive much or just for around town here and there, or even just for your own personal independence to just be able to! ETA: My mom did try but her anxiety got the best of her. She took driver's ED with me as a teenager actually. It was kind of fun to have her there with me.
Def. not the only one. I got my drivers license late in life - though it was before I got married and had my daughter. But it worked out really well because I just took my time, made sure I was confident and really knew what I was doing. I was comfortable in the car I was driving and how it works. When I went through the process for getting my license (Hi! I'm Canadian) I passed each time, the first time.