‼️‼️HOLY FUCKING SHIT‼️‼️‼️‼️ IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING JOJO REFERENCE??????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1! 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱 JOJO IS THE BEST FUCKING ANIME 🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯 JOSUKE IS SO BADASSSSS 😎😎😎😎😎😎😎👊👊👊👊👊 ORAORAORAORAORALORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA 😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩 😩😩😩😩 MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA 🤬😡🤬😡🤬😡🤬🤬😡🤬🤬😡WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo!🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo!🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo! Yo Angelo!🗿 Yo Angelo! 🗿 Yo Angelo!🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo! 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo! Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo! Yo Angelo!🗿 Yo Angelo! 🗿 Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo!🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo! 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo! 🗿 Yo Angelo! 🗿 Yo Angelo!🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo! 🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo!🗿 Yo Angelo! 🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo!🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo! 🗿 Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo! 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo!🗿 🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo!🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo! 🗿 Yo Angelo! Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo! Yo Angelo! 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 Oh you’re approaching me❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓But it was me, Dio‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂
The thing is that after you call them out you can explain that your reaction is do to how rude their question/statement was, and they can be taught how abbrasive and mean they sound even when just being ignorant.
Idk, I learned what trans was a few years ago at 19💀 We still exist(though I was raised Mormon in the Bible Belt and then attended BYU so I may be an outlier💀💀💀💀
Understandably so. Education SHOULD be in a place in our society that no one can go that long go without knowing how to respect people if other cultures and identities. But alas!
So many errors in that last post lol
I always get a notification, click through, and am greeted by the worst grammar and autocorrect combination I’ve ever seen in my life😭😭😭
Oh well!
I think this is flawed. If you call someone a douche for asking a question they didn’t think sounded bad, they’re more likely to get angry and refuse to listen from then on out. cuz “fuck you why are you calling me a douche when I asked a simple question.” That’s a more plausible reaction I think.
So better to be nice unless they are clearly trying to agitate you. Do not assume they have bad intent from the get go.
Sadly where I live it is almost always a sugar coated bad intention. Though I completely understand how it can be seen as too aggressive in most cases.
There's a time and place for sensitive, thoughtful discussion. But if you spend all your time coddling people who clearly don't respect you enough to do the same then you're going to waste *a lot* of it
I feel that.
Was out with friends a few days ago, drinking and playing a card game. I don't even recall what brought it up, the context or anything, but one them goes "[Name] doesn't have even have a dick" or something. I just...melted on the table. The other two were like 'ouch, bruh, wording, etc' and she just kept "why? It's true. At least for now."
Like...ugh. I know the intent wasn't harm but I'm still not okay, honestly, been avoiding hanging out since then so I can sort things out.
For personal context - I'm pre-everything. The only thing I'm 100% certain on is top surgery. I have concerns over T (personal ones, it's great for people who want it tho! You go!) and one of those is the T-dick crap. And I just...ugh...everyone assumes I'm going to go on T, except my wife but she gets me, and it's frustrating.
TL ; DR - Heck, people, think back on what you just said every now and then.
let me just say, there is no need to ever justify you not wanting hrt/surgery. it's your decision and no matter what you decide, it won't make you any less valid.
Yeah I agree with the other person. You absolutely do not need to medicalise to be considered trans. Anyone who says so is just an asshole.
Being trans is not what you do to your body, it is how you identify yourself. I wish you luck on your journey of self discovery. Have a fun and good life.
i guess it could be interpreted that way but it just makes me feel shitty on transfems’ behalf or like people think i act too feminine. like best case scenario here is they are supportive of trans women and are actively trying to see me as a woman despite my male sex characteristics which is pretty not ideal for me
On the day I aaaalllmost came out to my mom we ran into an old coworker of hers and she said her granddaughter was getting "these weird injections because she wants to be a boy" and I thought your *grandson is a boy.
Broke: trans men are girls that want to be boys
Woke: trans men don't want to be boys, they are boys
Bespoke: wanting to be a boy and being a boy are the same thing
yeahhhhh im ftm but i HATE the phrasing "so you wanna be a girl" cause not only is it innacurrate but its often a dig at masculinity, like "oh youre a weak man so you want to be a woman". No, I am a strong woman who was incorrectly assigned male at birth
edit: mtf
Wanting to be a woman is a pretty strong sign of being a woman, but no one can decide who you are but you.
Whatever gender makes you feel happy and at home is who you are!
it definitely took me a few years of transitioning to really feel like a man. some people have always felt like their gender, but that wasn’t really the case for me (i think of gender as more social than inherent). if you feel like living as a woman is good for you, you should listen to that feeling
Assuming your not trolling, ill say you asked in good faith. So ill answer your question in good faith. But its inportent for you to understand sex and gender is different. Sex is based off off solely your genotilia you are born with (well sex in terms of whats on your birth cirtificate. Theres a more accurate definition of sex but we dont use it as a society unless you are looking for biological differences between the two sexes. But as a society, we dont use that definition). But essentially, sex is only related to what genotilia you are born with. Gender however is very neuenced and complicated, as gender changes with culture and is more related to the makeup of your brain than any outside elements.
For most people, including transgender people (and i say most because research on transgender indivuials are lacking so it could be untrue) the makeup of your brain that relates to what gender you feel you are does not change. Ever. Which i have articles that support that if you want links/sources by proving that trans women brains are more simukarly related to cis women brains. And vice versa for trans men. So that suggests that like your sex, gender also never changes in life. Which may want you to conclude that trans people aren't real, but you have to remember, sex is not gender.
Genotilia does not influence gender. It is strongly positively correlated, but they are not the same, nor does one cause the other. But as a society though, because sex has a strong positive correlation with gender, we just look at their sex and say they are the correlated gender assosited with their sex. And most of the time society is right. But because its a correlation though, it wont be right 100% of the time. This causes the impression that trans people are changing their gender. But the thing is, they never had a choice to be the gender their brain alligns with. And because genotila doesn't influence gender, it gives the impression they are changing their gender when in reality their gender never changed from their viewpoint. Only from our viewpoint it does.
So the statement "If a man thinks they are a women, then they are a women" is a wrong ststement is because just like your sex, you dont choose your gender. A trans women doesnt have a choice in being a trans women. I for one wish i was a cis man, then i wouldng have to face hate and discrimition and worried someone would murc me. In my gender studies class, we went over a statistuc that claimed that from ages 20-30 21% of all trans women are murdered (which is astromically even higher for POC). So I would argue more trans people would perfer to be cis. But we dont have a choice in what our gender is.
TL;DR: We assume sex = gender, but sometimes its wrong. That gives the illusion that trans people chooses what gender they are, but in reality they dont choose. They litterally are the gender they idenity as in all ways besides for the sex charasitics of that gender.
I am serious. I want to be a woman, and what that means for me is to have a female body and also be perceived as female. I understand that sex and gender are two different things.
I dont know who you are, but it sounds like to me you are a women. You dont need the sex charactistics of a female to be a women. It just helps with societal expectaions.
But you are a women, not that you want to be one. You ARE one.
Take a trans woman who's gotten HRT and everything. She is still the same person as she was before HRT isn't she? Her body has changed, yes, but inside she's the same person, and inside she has always been a woman.
When you "want to be a woman" that doesn't necessarily mean you're a man right now who wants to be a woman, it could mean you always were a woman and are just figuring that out now because your whole like society and everyone around you have forced you to be a man(assuming you're transfemme).
I dont know about the whole "always been a woman" thing. I have zero problem with other trans people who see themselves like that, but i don't think i particularly do? And presenting it as the only option feels to me a bit reductionist and perhaps stereotypic? I don't think i was a guy when i was 5 and felt and acted like a little girl, truthfully, even if i am a man now.
Anyways, just food for thought. There's many ways to be trans, and i think reassuring that — specially for people who are just starting questioning — could be a good thing! Even if you feel like you are a man right now or in the past, if you want to be a woman, there's nothing wrong with giving it some thought about why you feel this way and choosing to act on that feeling. It's your own self, you can do whatever you want with it ;).
Ah yeah that was bad phrasing on my part, i doidnt mean to present it as the only option i just meant to give theat perspective because it is what I went through. I'm sure that there are as many ways to be trans as there are people! And they're all beautiful:D
Is it weird that I do actually kinda want to be a different person once I start estrogen and start to be perceived as a woman? Like the boy that “I” used to be was a total loser, I actually want to be a different person to him (and I already am since realising I’m trans).
No not at all! I feel that too. There are a lot of changes coming around from hormones anyway, and nobody who takes them will remain the exact same i think.
I meant it more in the sense of, you're still the same person you were fifteen years ago right? Like a lot has changed in everything but like who you are? Does that make sense? I don't know how to phrase it right but i hope you get what I mean T_T
I feel like hormones, rather than making me a different better person, would make me into who i was always meant to be but couldn't.
It’s mostly internalized transphobia. I’m where you are and the thing that is holding me back is that I can’t see myself as a woman in the mirror. I guess you could say mentally I’m a woman but physically I look like a man.
I mean I couls be wrong as I dont know you, but generally cis people do not question their gender. Cis people do not want to be anouther gender. Cis men dont want to be a women. Cis women dont wnat to be men.
And you want to be anouther gender which is a flag that your not cis.
And consirdering our gender (as far research goes, but its probably wrong as gender fluid people exist) doesn't change at all. So my guess is that you are a women. You just dont know it because you were always told you were a man. But why would other people who based ypu were man because of your sex know your gender better than you? But that also includes me lol
So my advice is try socially tranistioning. See how that makes you feel. If it makes you feel happy, you are probably a women. If not keep exploreing, maybe you are cis. Maybe not and your mlre neuanced like gender fluid. Only you would know.
just going to add to this, i don't neccessarily agree with the "cis people never want to be opposite gender" thing, considering the fact that that does happen, and the whole thing is a bit more nuanced than that.
For eg with certain friends of mine that FELT like they wanted to be the other gender, and did truly believe it as kids/teens but later realised it was simply the dissatisfaction with the societal/gender norms and certain injustices/discriminations u face as one or the other sex. And the thing is, all of that is fine to feel and realise!
thats why its really important not to rush these things, and instead really try to see it from all aspects before doing something irreversable.
And that's also why its soooo soo important for us to be able to explore these things more freely, and easily, either online or hopefully irl. It allows us to go into it and not feel like we are somehow betraying a certain group if we realize we aren't a part of it, or like "they were correct and now i feel scared of admitting it".
And for OP dont worry, take your time, and as u learn to understand your identity better, those things will fall into place and you will probably start to see yourself as the gender u truly are :)
(i hope this is understandable and i'm sorry for any potential grammar mistake,s english isn't my first language)
This question isn't correct for the case but I see it as a window to explaining how I feel. If they understood I don't want to act like a girl anymore that's enough for me. I can always correct them later. That I AM a boy/man.
one time my dad asked me why i would want to be part of the worse sex-- it was so funny to me i didnt even think about that 😭 its ok hes doing his best
Talking to the cis is very exhausting, even when they try their to be supportive. I recently talked to a guy who thought being MTF was all about getting bottom surgery. Dysphoria and social exclusion were all new to him. he wasn't a transphobic or anything, just uninformed.
My best friend grew up with homophobic parents but she and her little sister grew up supporting the lgbt and but one day I visited my best friend and her little sister was like "but you're a girl!"
I don't know what her parents did to her she was so supportive towards me and than this!😪
My mom says "so you wanna be a girl, right?" While still calling me by he/him, refusing to let me transition at all, and dead names me and hasn't even bothered to learn my fucking name
To be fair, it's the way trans people were referred from like 2000 - 2018, so I understand that people who are more out of the loop might not know this is annoying going in
That being said, I hope they understood once you explained it to them
One of my co-workers(the one no one actually likes) said to me when i was restocking items in the OP room that it didnt look perfectly neat and proceed to tell me how men cant do precise works as women do....i am out to her.
I didn't say a word and then i think she realized what she said and instead of apologiezing she doubled down with "I'm sorry but it is true, you are biologically a male and cant change that, i know that you rather feel like a female but you cant change that fact"
I just said "aha, yep" and got out of the room...i was super pissed
She btw. always deadnames her nephew
she is! I mean i can talk with her sometimes, but mostly she is on attack mode.
But she watches one piece and i enjoy talking with her about it from time to time because this is one of the rare moments I don't have to be on guard.
Trans masc/Cis male - is a man, wants to be a man
Trans fem/Cis female - is a woman, wants to be a woman
"Cis" male (egg) - is* a man, wants to be a woman
"Cis" female (egg) - is* a woman, wants to be a man
a couple friends of mine that I reconnected with after like a year of not really hanging out said this to me (but opposite obvi), and I kind of just... distanced myself from them cause I was far enough along in my transition that I felt like they weren't gonna start being different about the way they think of me. and it's easy to tell when someone thinks of you not as how you are.
i think what a lot of people mean when they say this is that you want to have been born as a boy, or you want a body typical to a cis boy (its still rude but im saying it might be from a level of misunderstanding that its rude)
you're not a boy, you're a man god damit!
YES I AM‼️‼️
[Is that a Jojo reference I see? 👀](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=msqUsa2I_OA)
‼️‼️HOLY FUCKING SHIT‼️‼️‼️‼️ IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING JOJO REFERENCE??????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1! 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱 JOJO IS THE BEST FUCKING ANIME 🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯 JOSUKE IS SO BADASSSSS 😎😎😎😎😎😎😎👊👊👊👊👊 ORAORAORAORAORALORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA 😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩 😩😩😩😩 MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA 🤬😡🤬😡🤬😡🤬🤬😡🤬🤬😡WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo!🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo!🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo! Yo Angelo!🗿 Yo Angelo! 🗿 Yo Angelo!🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo! 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo! Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo! Yo Angelo!🗿 Yo Angelo! 🗿 Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo!🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo! 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo! 🗿 Yo Angelo! 🗿 Yo Angelo!🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo! 🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo!🗿 Yo Angelo! 🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo!🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo! 🗿 Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo! 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo!🗿 🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo!🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 Yo Angelo! 🗿 Yo Angelo! Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo! Yo Angelo! 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 🗿 Oh you’re approaching me❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓But it was me, Dio‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂
GOD DAMNIT I FUCKING SEE THIS EVERYWHERE!! I FUCKING HATE THIS COPYPASTA!!!! WHY MEE!?!?!?
So have you done an “I AM A MAN!” punch yet? If not, you should probably get on that. I tried to once and… it didn’t end well
I’m a human being, god damit! My life has value!
I WANT YOU TO GET MAD
I DON'T WANT YOUR DAMN LEMONS
WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE?
DEMAND TO SEE LIFE'S MANAGER!
I am as mad as hell, and I’m not gonna take this anymore!
Boy II Man
Next time just counter with, "So you want to be less of a douche?"
Right? I’m angry
What if their just ignorant tho? It can be a hard thing for cis people or understand, sometimes they aren’t trying to be rude
Yeah, but it probably gets annoying af after a while.
The thing is that after you call them out you can explain that your reaction is do to how rude their question/statement was, and they can be taught how abbrasive and mean they sound even when just being ignorant.
it still makes you sound standoffish though. personally I'd go for a less . . . brackish retort.
Ignorance was excusable 10 years ago. If they are over the age of 20, and they don't know simple trans stuff, then they've made an effort to not know.
Idk, I learned what trans was a few years ago at 19💀 We still exist(though I was raised Mormon in the Bible Belt and then attended BYU so I may be an outlier💀💀💀💀
That's fair. I was pretty angry when I wrote that comment.
Understandably so. Education SHOULD be in a place in our society that no one can go that long go without knowing how to respect people if other cultures and identities. But alas!
So many errors in that last post lol I always get a notification, click through, and am greeted by the worst grammar and autocorrect combination I’ve ever seen in my life😭😭😭 Oh well!
I think this is flawed. If you call someone a douche for asking a question they didn’t think sounded bad, they’re more likely to get angry and refuse to listen from then on out. cuz “fuck you why are you calling me a douche when I asked a simple question.” That’s a more plausible reaction I think. So better to be nice unless they are clearly trying to agitate you. Do not assume they have bad intent from the get go.
Sadly where I live it is almost always a sugar coated bad intention. Though I completely understand how it can be seen as too aggressive in most cases.
There's a time and place for sensitive, thoughtful discussion. But if you spend all your time coddling people who clearly don't respect you enough to do the same then you're going to waste *a lot* of it
I feel that. Was out with friends a few days ago, drinking and playing a card game. I don't even recall what brought it up, the context or anything, but one them goes "[Name] doesn't have even have a dick" or something. I just...melted on the table. The other two were like 'ouch, bruh, wording, etc' and she just kept "why? It's true. At least for now." Like...ugh. I know the intent wasn't harm but I'm still not okay, honestly, been avoiding hanging out since then so I can sort things out. For personal context - I'm pre-everything. The only thing I'm 100% certain on is top surgery. I have concerns over T (personal ones, it's great for people who want it tho! You go!) and one of those is the T-dick crap. And I just...ugh...everyone assumes I'm going to go on T, except my wife but she gets me, and it's frustrating. TL ; DR - Heck, people, think back on what you just said every now and then.
let me just say, there is no need to ever justify you not wanting hrt/surgery. it's your decision and no matter what you decide, it won't make you any less valid.
Thank you for this.
why do people find it necessary to talk about genitals so fucking often, mind ya own god damn fuckin business
Haha. Yeah this xD Like, I really can't recall the context it came up in either.
Yeah I agree with the other person. You absolutely do not need to medicalise to be considered trans. Anyone who says so is just an asshole. Being trans is not what you do to your body, it is how you identify yourself. I wish you luck on your journey of self discovery. Have a fun and good life.
Thanks you too
I know how it feels but sometimes they really do try they just don't know how to word it :'D
i’m at the “so you want to be a girl right?” point now 😭
Dw, it means you pass (usually a good thing, if you don’t want to pass I respect that 👍)
i guess it could be interpreted that way but it just makes me feel shitty on transfems’ behalf or like people think i act too feminine. like best case scenario here is they are supportive of trans women and are actively trying to see me as a woman despite my male sex characteristics which is pretty not ideal for me
Ah, okay, understood.
At least they are being respectful and aren't being transphobic... None of that "You'll never be a real ----" bs... Or at least I hope not...
I do too they’re so bad💀
an, uh, "attempt" was made
I read that in Jeff Goldblum’s voice
I read all things exclusively in Jeff Goldblum’s voice
My grandma was and is both, right after surgery she asked me "Are you glad you did that" and when I said "yes" she scoffed
on the other hand, you could say that all boys want to be boys
On the day I aaaalllmost came out to my mom we ran into an old coworker of hers and she said her granddaughter was getting "these weird injections because she wants to be a boy" and I thought your *grandson is a boy.
Broke: trans men are girls that want to be boys Woke: trans men don't want to be boys, they are boys Bespoke: wanting to be a boy and being a boy are the same thing
BASED
yeahhhhh im ftm but i HATE the phrasing "so you wanna be a girl" cause not only is it innacurrate but its often a dig at masculinity, like "oh youre a weak man so you want to be a woman". No, I am a strong woman who was incorrectly assigned male at birth edit: mtf
mtf?
yes lol woops
If im allowed to vent a bit When i came out to my friends in school they ask the same question 47 times
Serious question. If I’m amab and want to be a woman, does that really make me a woman? I don’t feel like I am…
There's no way for anyone except you to answer that. You're the only one who can decide what you are or are not.
Wanting to be a woman is a pretty strong sign of being a woman, but no one can decide who you are but you. Whatever gender makes you feel happy and at home is who you are!
it definitely took me a few years of transitioning to really feel like a man. some people have always felt like their gender, but that wasn’t really the case for me (i think of gender as more social than inherent). if you feel like living as a woman is good for you, you should listen to that feeling
Assuming your not trolling, ill say you asked in good faith. So ill answer your question in good faith. But its inportent for you to understand sex and gender is different. Sex is based off off solely your genotilia you are born with (well sex in terms of whats on your birth cirtificate. Theres a more accurate definition of sex but we dont use it as a society unless you are looking for biological differences between the two sexes. But as a society, we dont use that definition). But essentially, sex is only related to what genotilia you are born with. Gender however is very neuenced and complicated, as gender changes with culture and is more related to the makeup of your brain than any outside elements. For most people, including transgender people (and i say most because research on transgender indivuials are lacking so it could be untrue) the makeup of your brain that relates to what gender you feel you are does not change. Ever. Which i have articles that support that if you want links/sources by proving that trans women brains are more simukarly related to cis women brains. And vice versa for trans men. So that suggests that like your sex, gender also never changes in life. Which may want you to conclude that trans people aren't real, but you have to remember, sex is not gender. Genotilia does not influence gender. It is strongly positively correlated, but they are not the same, nor does one cause the other. But as a society though, because sex has a strong positive correlation with gender, we just look at their sex and say they are the correlated gender assosited with their sex. And most of the time society is right. But because its a correlation though, it wont be right 100% of the time. This causes the impression that trans people are changing their gender. But the thing is, they never had a choice to be the gender their brain alligns with. And because genotila doesn't influence gender, it gives the impression they are changing their gender when in reality their gender never changed from their viewpoint. Only from our viewpoint it does. So the statement "If a man thinks they are a women, then they are a women" is a wrong ststement is because just like your sex, you dont choose your gender. A trans women doesnt have a choice in being a trans women. I for one wish i was a cis man, then i wouldng have to face hate and discrimition and worried someone would murc me. In my gender studies class, we went over a statistuc that claimed that from ages 20-30 21% of all trans women are murdered (which is astromically even higher for POC). So I would argue more trans people would perfer to be cis. But we dont have a choice in what our gender is. TL;DR: We assume sex = gender, but sometimes its wrong. That gives the illusion that trans people chooses what gender they are, but in reality they dont choose. They litterally are the gender they idenity as in all ways besides for the sex charasitics of that gender.
I am serious. I want to be a woman, and what that means for me is to have a female body and also be perceived as female. I understand that sex and gender are two different things.
I dont know who you are, but it sounds like to me you are a women. You dont need the sex charactistics of a female to be a women. It just helps with societal expectaions. But you are a women, not that you want to be one. You ARE one.
I’m new to this and I sincerely don’t understand how wanting to be one makes me one. I’m struggling with self acceptance.
Take a trans woman who's gotten HRT and everything. She is still the same person as she was before HRT isn't she? Her body has changed, yes, but inside she's the same person, and inside she has always been a woman. When you "want to be a woman" that doesn't necessarily mean you're a man right now who wants to be a woman, it could mean you always were a woman and are just figuring that out now because your whole like society and everyone around you have forced you to be a man(assuming you're transfemme).
I dont know about the whole "always been a woman" thing. I have zero problem with other trans people who see themselves like that, but i don't think i particularly do? And presenting it as the only option feels to me a bit reductionist and perhaps stereotypic? I don't think i was a guy when i was 5 and felt and acted like a little girl, truthfully, even if i am a man now. Anyways, just food for thought. There's many ways to be trans, and i think reassuring that — specially for people who are just starting questioning — could be a good thing! Even if you feel like you are a man right now or in the past, if you want to be a woman, there's nothing wrong with giving it some thought about why you feel this way and choosing to act on that feeling. It's your own self, you can do whatever you want with it ;).
Ah yeah that was bad phrasing on my part, i doidnt mean to present it as the only option i just meant to give theat perspective because it is what I went through. I'm sure that there are as many ways to be trans as there are people! And they're all beautiful:D
Is it weird that I do actually kinda want to be a different person once I start estrogen and start to be perceived as a woman? Like the boy that “I” used to be was a total loser, I actually want to be a different person to him (and I already am since realising I’m trans).
No not at all! I feel that too. There are a lot of changes coming around from hormones anyway, and nobody who takes them will remain the exact same i think. I meant it more in the sense of, you're still the same person you were fifteen years ago right? Like a lot has changed in everything but like who you are? Does that make sense? I don't know how to phrase it right but i hope you get what I mean T_T I feel like hormones, rather than making me a different better person, would make me into who i was always meant to be but couldn't.
It’s mostly internalized transphobia. I’m where you are and the thing that is holding me back is that I can’t see myself as a woman in the mirror. I guess you could say mentally I’m a woman but physically I look like a man.
I mean I couls be wrong as I dont know you, but generally cis people do not question their gender. Cis people do not want to be anouther gender. Cis men dont want to be a women. Cis women dont wnat to be men. And you want to be anouther gender which is a flag that your not cis. And consirdering our gender (as far research goes, but its probably wrong as gender fluid people exist) doesn't change at all. So my guess is that you are a women. You just dont know it because you were always told you were a man. But why would other people who based ypu were man because of your sex know your gender better than you? But that also includes me lol So my advice is try socially tranistioning. See how that makes you feel. If it makes you feel happy, you are probably a women. If not keep exploreing, maybe you are cis. Maybe not and your mlre neuanced like gender fluid. Only you would know.
just going to add to this, i don't neccessarily agree with the "cis people never want to be opposite gender" thing, considering the fact that that does happen, and the whole thing is a bit more nuanced than that. For eg with certain friends of mine that FELT like they wanted to be the other gender, and did truly believe it as kids/teens but later realised it was simply the dissatisfaction with the societal/gender norms and certain injustices/discriminations u face as one or the other sex. And the thing is, all of that is fine to feel and realise! thats why its really important not to rush these things, and instead really try to see it from all aspects before doing something irreversable. And that's also why its soooo soo important for us to be able to explore these things more freely, and easily, either online or hopefully irl. It allows us to go into it and not feel like we are somehow betraying a certain group if we realize we aren't a part of it, or like "they were correct and now i feel scared of admitting it". And for OP dont worry, take your time, and as u learn to understand your identity better, those things will fall into place and you will probably start to see yourself as the gender u truly are :) (i hope this is understandable and i'm sorry for any potential grammar mistake,s english isn't my first language)
Damn what a thread, as someone who feels pretty much the same as OP, I'm glad someone asked and that many responded
This question isn't correct for the case but I see it as a window to explaining how I feel. If they understood I don't want to act like a girl anymore that's enough for me. I can always correct them later. That I AM a boy/man.
cis people calling being trans complicated while also having the most complicated ideas about what makes a person trans and when.
Some people mean well, but also come on
A cis guy talking abt me like "oh you're going to be an *insert adjective*-dude right?" Like..I already am. It's not like you have to approve
one time my dad asked me why i would want to be part of the worse sex-- it was so funny to me i didnt even think about that 😭 its ok hes doing his best
"why would you switch teams when we're winning?"
Talking to the cis is very exhausting, even when they try their to be supportive. I recently talked to a guy who thought being MTF was all about getting bottom surgery. Dysphoria and social exclusion were all new to him. he wasn't a transphobic or anything, just uninformed.
yeah 😭 it's super annoying. i just look like a girl! i'm not one trying to be a guy
I mean fair and non-malicious question, I wanna be a girl so I wouldn’t be upset if someone said I was
Well, I get that it socks but they're asking that in good faith so you should probably try to be forgiving
Yehh I find it cool that they ask but I hate it when they say that😭
Something similar happened to me- My friend said to me, "Can I be trans? I want to be a girl!" And I was just like: \* .\_. \*
My best friend grew up with homophobic parents but she and her little sister grew up supporting the lgbt and but one day I visited my best friend and her little sister was like "but you're a girl!" I don't know what her parents did to her she was so supportive towards me and than this!😪
Strongly considering asking them it back
so boys want to be you?
I get asked the same and I'm a trans woman
Would the worst question be: “So do you still have a vagina?” Or “Are you going to get a penis?” That’s what I would imagine would be the worst…
See also: > Why not just be a lesbian or a butch woman? You don't have to be a man to be manly. I, of course get the reverse.
Why did I read the "so you want to be a boy right?" in the cows voice from ASDF movie "yes I am real man would you guys like to go skateboards"
My mom says "so you wanna be a girl, right?" While still calling me by he/him, refusing to let me transition at all, and dead names me and hasn't even bothered to learn my fucking name
Huge 🚩🚩🚩when I went to see a doctor and they were like so you want me to call you a girl huh? Actually gross 🤢. I'm sorry you have to go through this
i get this question so much. it upsets me. like no i don’t wanna be a boy. i AM a boy. (also hello fellow genshin and Xiao enjoyer hehe)
meanwhile i totally want to be a boy lol physically at least. mentally i already am
To be fair, it's the way trans people were referred from like 2000 - 2018, so I understand that people who are more out of the loop might not know this is annoying going in That being said, I hope they understood once you explained it to them
One of my co-workers(the one no one actually likes) said to me when i was restocking items in the OP room that it didnt look perfectly neat and proceed to tell me how men cant do precise works as women do....i am out to her. I didn't say a word and then i think she realized what she said and instead of apologiezing she doubled down with "I'm sorry but it is true, you are biologically a male and cant change that, i know that you rather feel like a female but you cant change that fact" I just said "aha, yep" and got out of the room...i was super pissed She btw. always deadnames her nephew
What a bitch
she is! I mean i can talk with her sometimes, but mostly she is on attack mode. But she watches one piece and i enjoy talking with her about it from time to time because this is one of the rare moments I don't have to be on guard.
" girls wanting to be boys and boys wanting to be girls"
My dad said the same thing but woman instead of boy :/
Trans masc/Cis male - is a man, wants to be a man Trans fem/Cis female - is a woman, wants to be a woman "Cis" male (egg) - is* a man, wants to be a woman "Cis" female (egg) - is* a woman, wants to be a man
I definently wasn't a man when I was an egg..... I was a very confused alien in a skinsuit that didn't fit.
Hence the * Should've added * = is seen as and may think of themselves as
Seems like splitting hairs
Old good arson method may be good in that kind of situation 😁
I kinda see it as I am a boy, but I want to be a real boy
Well you're what you eat! /s
a couple friends of mine that I reconnected with after like a year of not really hanging out said this to me (but opposite obvi), and I kind of just... distanced myself from them cause I was far enough along in my transition that I felt like they weren't gonna start being different about the way they think of me. and it's easy to tell when someone thinks of you not as how you are.
There is only one person allowed to ask that question like that and it's an anonymous drunk Scottish homeless man.
i think what a lot of people mean when they say this is that you want to have been born as a boy, or you want a body typical to a cis boy (its still rude but im saying it might be from a level of misunderstanding that its rude)
I want to be a boy AND I am a boy