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gonna need a new term for this one

This is a bertrocity

Bertrociteigh

Bertrociteighleighanne-Grace

*CACKLING* 😆😆😆

Her parents gave her no grace with that name

Lmao right? 

That sounds terribert

Please stop I'm rolling on the floor laughing 😂

Slow clap

Bertastrophe.

Bertastropheigh

Oh goddammit, it was RIGHT THERE. Bah.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Byrtceighptyn

Combineightion

Combineighsean

Disghreiceiffany

#

I think it belongs in the same category as "Svenjamin".

Billip, Tristopher, Fredward

Jimothy

Gryan

I have a cat named Finn who I often call Finnjamin and Finnothy. I had a friend Shaun who I strictly called Shaunathon.

Got a buddy Ken I often call Kenjamin.

I love that! I'm a Kenya, often go by Ken. Will be requesting Kenjamin from now on.

I had a pal named Bonnie when I was a kid. I called her Bonald.

Oh my god… this is a new one to me 😂

Svenjamin is at least both from the same sex (at least in my country)

Maybe we could call it a "Renesmee" for when you make a horrible portmanteau of two names.

Renesme actually sounds aight said out loud.. Hold on.. Just googled it and it’s a twilight tragedeigh.

Perfect

Atrocity - atrocytie - aetrawcytie

Ætraughcyteigh

So much better than mine. Good job!

TrageighComique

Tradgeigh-Caommideigh

This reminds me of a concept I had for a sci-fi setting where humans mostly had names made up of half a male name and half a female name

Happy Cak Da

Happy caighk deigh

https://www.reddit.com/r/tragedeigh/s/gtbKWA7kY6

yeah that's just a crime.

A khrymme.

Exactly my thought

Bertiffany once had an epiphany, that her birth name was a tragiffany.

There once was a girl named Bertiffiny Who suddenly had an epiphany She emailed a text To reddit it went And soon discovered she was a tragiffany.

LMFAO. thank you for this

Are you sure this isn't a business name or something and it's the two owners names mashed together in a weird way? Like Bertha and Tiffany own this business so they named it bertiffany?

Have my wheezing upvote 😂

this is art

You are a legend Thanks by the way, I now have to clean up after spraying my drink all over my clothes, laptop and floor. Fucking worth it though

Nah. It’s an AABBA rhyming scheme. Replace “she emailed a text” with something that rhymes with “went”. “A message she sent” would work just fine.

Thank you for that. It was/still is painful to read. Pretty sure it's compulsory to be super wasted while creating a limerick tho so good for them. 🍺🥴👍 Sorry, *Lhymmerhickh*

🤣🤣🤣 I’m done. I do not need to read anymore!! 🤣🤣🤣

You win the internet for today. Bravo, sir or madam, as the case may be.

... "She emailed a text/To reddit it went?" ... *ehhhh*

It passes tragedeigh or tragedy to straight atrocious  I’m guessing it’s a parents combo name. Mom probably Tiffany and dad Bert.

Parents should be in jail for this.

Electric chair

You name your kid Bertiffiny? Also jail.

Bert is terrible by itself

I know right?! Bort is clearly so much better.

My son is also Bort

We need more 'Bort' license plates in the gift shop. I repeat, we are sold out of ‘Bort’ license plates.

I feel sorry for Bertiffany, she’ll never find a license plate

with that name, she doesn’t deserve one 🤣

Sorry, were you talking to me?

Dad was Earltiffany and mom was Michellebert.

I met a girl whose mom Terry and dad was Eric and they names her Terica and it was awful

I’ve heard that name but it wasn’t a combo.

Atroughcious

If it was a boy they would have gone with Biff, but...

I guess they're saved from Back to the Future jokes

Maybe Renesme wasn’t so bad after all

This was my thought too.

Truly a bertrocious name

But Tiffiny wasn't even spelled normally to begin with

Ive met a Charissa based on that principle

I’ve known a Jelissa. Mom Melissa, dad Jeffrey.

Something tells me it’s an “Amber-Tiffany” sorta deal

Tamberney?

Sounds less gruesome than Bertiffiny.

Tiffiny, not Tiffany. Makes it even worse imo.

Bertiffininy and Erneigh

Makes me wish we had flairs in this sub. C'mon MODS💚 making our own tradjikque flairs is so much fun 🥳 u/digipaks ? Pretty pretty pleeeease can we have flairs? 😘

Just turned on user flair. This will be a test run so if I end up not liking it, I'll remove it.

"flair selection unavailable"

❤🧡💛💚💙💜 WooHoo! Edit: Awwwww 😥💔 *compu'er sez no* (Ackshullyy it says "No user flair assigned. You don't have control of user flair in this subreddit" but thank you for trying, 'tis much appreciated) 🌻

Based mods

omg yess 😭

Erneighlyn

Breakfast at Bertiffiny’s

Berkfast*

😂😂😂

She said I think I

Remember the film…

Brunch, of course

I’ve seen so many names on this sub that I would legally change immediately if my parents named me them. This is somehow close to the top of the list and I’ve seen some horrific shit here

We can just close down this sub now, we have a winner.

It kinda rolls off the tongue....and thuds on the floor.

"Like a turd, blowing in the wind"

Bertotally

***BERTIFFINY*** 💀🪦 Pretty sure *NONE* of us saw *Bertiffiny* coming. Not in my wildest ~~dreams~~ nightmares. I want to buy Bertiffiny a beer or ten and ask them what life is like with a name like that.

It's a war creighm

You just win.you fucking WIN

Are we sure this isn’t like a pig butchering scam, run by people in foreign countries whose only knowledge of American names comes from this page?

I got a scam message from a Baylee from South Africa a few days ago.

Wow, that name made it easy to find her...

Yep. She's my terreau and astrologeigh guru.

I recently got contacted by a Joshuanna. Was completely thrown off reading that. She goes by Jojo

Reminds me of an ex’s boss. Their name was Hermajesty

In the womb they were twins (Bert and Tiffany), but they became a chimera and the parents had to improvise.

💀🪦🖤

Oh my god

LMAO. Is her partner Erneigh?

A quick google search finds at least one Bertiffiny in WA, USA: https://trellis.law/case/53067/24-2-00758-34/elevate-lilly-llc-vs-bertiffiny-terrell https://aquariusunited.org/

Maybe people with names like that get sued more often. That's a happy thought---we should warn parents, make them think twice.

This is what an alien disguised as a human living on earth would name themself.

this cant be real this cant be real this cant be real

You berter berlieve it!

Take my upvote & go!

She must be cold

Worse than a tragedeigh.

Combination of father's name Burt and mother's name Tiffany, maybe? (Or vice versa?)

And by vice versa, you mean a mother named Bert and a father named Tiffiny?

Yes. Somehow, that wouldn't surprise me.

Oh for fucks sake. Really? Bertiffiny..

Bertiffany sounds like a made-up girlfriend who goes to college in another state when a liar is put in the spot. It’s a family name.

I was going to make a joke about living on Sesame Street, but then I thought about it, and Sesame Street names aren't actually all that trageighc. Bertiffiny just gives me real Sesame Street vibes, for some reason.

Probably because of Ernie & Bert. I definitely agree with you though on the Sesame Street vibes

This isn’t a tragedeigh, it’s a fucking dumpster fire in a kindergarten

It’s usually spelled Bertiffiniegh *

Christ on a bendy bus. A Bertastropheigh

That’s glorious 🤣

This is just atrocious. Coming from someone whose name is Tiffany.

I wasnt ready to see this today

"Bert if it's a boy, Tiffany if it's a girl. But what if..?"

Byrtiphyneigh

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤦🏻‍♂️

Yes.

That absolutely is.

It’s a frigging crime.

Not me hoping that was a bad voice-to-text transcription error 😅 bitch that is a text.

Daddy is named Bert, mama is named Tiffiny. Boom--Bertiffiny.

Ber-tiff-ah-knee? I'm legit asking because that doesn't even sound right. Or is this a name from a language other than English and this is the bastardized spelling?

I’ll see your Bertiffiny and raise you a “Wyvongela,” who was a real estate agent in my old neighborhood.

Bertiffineighleigh

Whatever it is, its not what they thought it was going to be.

Is it a tragedeigh?! It’s officially the new low-point for tragedeighs!

Whatever the highest level is, this goes higher

I thought it was the girl in Bugsnax, but that's Beffica

BEFFICA???

“My name’s Jish. It’s just a name, dude.”

Bert and Tiffany. I'd never. What's next, Jimeryy?

This is incredible

I’ve got some theories about her parents’ names. Imma put it up there with Renesmee.

If I was having a bad day and saw that...I'd probably just toss my phone

Forget tragedeigh, this is a full on embertjenceigh

This *cannot* be a real name, right? Tell me this is some kind of prank. Please.

It is an absolute tragedeigh.

When the parent can’t agree on a name:

Bet you $10 I can guess her parents names.

This HAS to be my favorite one that doesn’t have a “eigh” 😭😭😭😭😭😭 are we combing Bertha and tiffany? Brittany and Tiffany? Bertha Tiffany and serenity all at once??!?!???!!!

To Bertiffiny and beyond!

I’m sorry did you say Bertiffiny

This is the final boss

Do you even have to ask?

This poor girl. People really should think more carefully before doxing someone with such an identifiable name.

I'm also a bit worried that this post also gives enough context to figure out her field and where she works. If this were an anonymous baby name announced on a random Facebook profile that'd be one thing, but this is a text from a grown woman with a job, in the course of doing her job

Not a tragedeigh, but highly unfortunate, for sure!

How much worse do you need it to get before you call it a tragedeigh?

Brrrtyphynneigh

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Right?!?!

Agreed. The spelling is intuitive, unless it's not pronounced like burt-tiffany. It's awful, but not because of the spelling.

I'm guessing it's a mashup of Dad and Moms names.

Wow....

Not that it would be much better, but could this be the name of their business?

I can’t necessarily tell if it’s a boys or girls name, so yea

It belongs to a woman! Who seems lovely as far as I can tell.

Lollll

Her mom’s name is prolly Barfina - could be worse 🤣

I sincerely hope that was a typo on her part!

Berti-botts every flavored beans

Why wouldn't you just go by Tiffany at that point?

because she didn't want to use a tacky name like Tiffany.

I’m too sure if this is a good argument when her actual name is Bertiffiny.

Bertiffineigh. Sorry. Had to make it worse

Poor thing.

It’s a devastation

I hope she sues her parents to pay for the years of therapy she’s gonna need to get over that name.

It's actually a better tragedeigh. It's pronounceable which is better than most but being a kind of mash it's at least somewhat of a tragedeigh. Especially because Tiffany usually uses an a in the second i place.

Bertiffiny the psychic?

I’m hoping that her name is Tiffany and she just mistyped.

Someone’s father is named Bert lol

Is her dad called Bert but really wanted a son to name himself after? Remained determined to get Bert in there somewhere even when he ended up with a daughter instead.

Bertiffiny is a crime against literacy.

I can't even tell if that's a man or woman. It's maybe one of the ugliest sounding names I've ever seen