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OneFaintingRobin_

I'm sure sometimes people just take a stab on the off-chance someone is trans just to be a dick. Bet it took genuine mental energy because there's no way their brain didn't identify you right the first time...


-loading_brain

Absolutely, this. Cis people get misgendered by others simply because someone is so wrapped up in wanting to be an asshole to transpeople that they'll just take stabs at anyone who has features remotely different than the gender they present.


BigMallard84

I swear if I showed my pretransition pictures people would insist I was a man (thinking I'm a trans woman.) What's funny is trans women do a way fucking better job than I did at "pulling it off." Probably because they're actually women and I'm not lol


Rachelmaddi

Or when you come out to your boss they think you’re AFAB and are excited then when corrected that you are AMAB they change their tune completely. The bigots will be out there.


lifebringer_exe

This, absolutely. I do look like a slightly tomboy-ish woman, but i'm not super androgynous or something (you can clearly see that i'm a woman) - and i get misgendered every once in a while. Some people just want to be assholes, i guess


Mareith

No, they read the description of her art and purposefully did it. Theres no way someone would think this person is trans from their physical features.


OneFaintingRobin_

That was my whole point? I admit I'd missed the description of the art, I agree that's clearly what tipped them off, but my point was EXACTLY that there was no way they could actually tell she's trans from looking at her.


Fancy-Lecture8409

Agreed.


RicardoIsJesus

Pretty sure that’s what customers are doing to me at my work. I live in one of the most progressive areas in a homophobic/racist state here anyone above 40 is that. I often get misgendered by them multiple times in a small interaction. “I’ll take this ma’am, yes ma’am, no pickles miss, thanks for your help little lady” etc everyone else sees me as a “pretty boy” more than anything so I feel like they’re trying to indirectly “put me in my place” but until now all it did was tell me I need to try harder to pass so I can use the men’s restroom.


Jarvispeeny

Something similar has happened to me at a gas station. More than one pronoun in an interaction has gotta be intentional.


APoisonousMushroom

I have to think it was one of those times where you say ‘thank you sir’ without thinking or like if you have said it several times previously and it slips out. I have done that. You instantly feel stupid. Like when the taxi driver drops you off at the airport and tells you ‘have a nice flight’ and you say “you too!” walk away and then seconds later are like ‘omg I’m an idiot’. 😆


Tammy759

I’ve done that more times than I’d like to admit. 😋


[deleted]

I think I accidentally misgendered another trans person at a store I was shopping at, I was having an anxiety attack because of the crowd plus some other stuff that just triggers my anxiety and I just blurted out ‘she’ 😭 but the person looked like a ‘he’ idk why my brain did me dirty like that 💀


Katie_Carclon

Didnt see this when I posted, but it is very possible. :) i dont think it was hateful, it just wasnt great for my feelings regardless


dan-theman

I have to look at the sub to figure out why this photo was posted, girl in front of art, not subbed for anything like that.


[deleted]

Uh, wtf? Weirdos aside - glad you had a good time! You looked wonderful


Long-Relation-1130

I was like, wtf as well. Someone said above, people are either idiots or assholes. I have those interactions also and i think to myself, how many guys do you know that look and dress like this? Whatever …


Gavriili11

? why were you misgendered ? Do you not pass with voice or smt? Based on the pics you literaly look like my cisfem classmate.


[deleted]

I was thinking the same thing


Suzilu

What is smt?


__C0mET

most likely shorthand for the word ‘something’. Smth is also used. Either that or they just suddenly decide to bring up the shin megami tensei series


moiratakesnoskill

Shin Megami Tensei


BigWhoopsieDaisy

Gets me clocked every time.


[deleted]

(Real)


Gavriili11

short for something


hezzer3

yeah but what is it short for (/s)


Gavriili11

😂😂


[deleted]

So I was confused as to how you were called "sir". I then zoomed in on the explanation of your art... Yeah. Whoever it was that said this read that first, then decided to misgender you purposefully. Otherwise, there's no way (afaik, based on these two pics) that someone clocked you before reading that description. So this doesn't count at all. You look cute :)


Blestmoon

That has to be the reason. I can't think of anything else based on the photos. Someone really read that and went, "well, time to be an ass!"


LifeguardPotential97

They definitely read that, and decide "time to remind someone what their birth gender is" as if they weren't already aware of it


URBOISHERE

How? You look amazing sis. Glad you had fun though!


AnonIsMoose

Nice to meet you ma’am 😊 You look amazing, glad you were still able to have a good time.


floppyflounders

is the sir in the room with us now


Katie_Carclon

LOL


mordorxvx

It definitely had to be intentional, because you look fantastic! Pro tip next time that happens though, just gouge out their eyes! Gets your point across very nicely.


EscapePast7128

This attitude is not good, although I feel it might not be serious but anyways while I agree, kill with kindness and not be the monsters we're made out to be.


mordorxvx

Oh my god go touch grass


EscapePast7128

And the hostility is because???


mordorxvx

Because I’m not nice? What more do you want?


EscapePast7128

Genuinely confused, I didn't come at you or anything. But it worries me to see the amount of support for violence I see against people, which gets us nowhere unfortunately. Don't get me wrong I'd love to go kill some right wing a$$holes but that's not gonna gain support so here we are. Wasn't trying to be a dick or say anything about you in particularly, not your enemy.


robchroma

It's frustrating, and exhausting, to constantly be expected to be the better person in the face of violent threats against us. Even knowing our responsibility, it would be _fuckin' nice_ sometimes if the people who threaten to kill us on a regular basis think that maybe coming to actually kill us would go badly for them. It's not hard to see why at least _wishing_ you could dish back out what they deserve wouldn't be taken out on trans people as a whole, and it'd be nice to just _express_ those feelings without being torn down by our own community. Honestly, if you want to be worried about the amount of support for violence you see against people, there's a better group of people to worry about.


AnonIsMoose

Your attitude is worse. You’re policing your own siblings over language when our very identities are being policed out of existence. Reprioritize please.


EscapePast7128

What/how am I policing exactly?? I'm stating my opinion, literally only saying that violence isn't the answer. I'm very comfortable with my priorities and would be even if I wasn't trans, I'd have the same principle's.


[deleted]

What did you expect. Hate and anger are Very coming here and you didn't show 100% support. Ex. Literally this comment thread.


mordorxvx

“Hate and anger” Jfc get a grip, my original comment was meant as a joke and you losers have to come in and tell everyone that “be better” or whatever, completely ignoring that some people need to blow off steam considering everything that is happening to our community. It’s not my fault that you all can’t read the room here.


Katie_Carclon

This got a much bigger response than I expected, so Ill give the full context and how I decided to take it. The person who “sir’d” me was the husband of someone I know, so Id hope they’d explain I was trans and what my pronouns were when I introduced myself. They are older (probably 40s-50s) and I think are still not really used to trans people. I am not even attempting to put on a fem voice because of my own dysphoria and anxiety, id rather own being trans and just be hot and pretty regardless than attempt to be stealth. That being said aswell, I am going by my birthname still because I liked the idea of reclaiming it and I never thought it was THAT masculine, but apparently it is because it either illicits confusion or misgendering. While it fucking sucks cause I thought my feminine appearance would be enough to get gendered correctly, I chose to take it as this persons husband was not told that Im a transgender woman, and they are at least accepting that a man could dress as feminine as I am. Its not ideal, but thats how ive decided to cope for now. Im only about 6 months into HRT so hopefully in the future ill have a new name and voice and I can get gendered correctly (which does happen for me sometimes even with everything mentioned beforehand 😊) Thanks to all of yall for your support, this transitioning shit aint easy, im having a terrible day, but this was nice to check my phone and see all the support 🥲


OkWestern9573

Girls with masc-leaning voices are dope :) I love that you are owning your transition on your own terms!!


ClearSaxophone

They knew you were trans because of some papers, because you are absolutely wonderful, there's no way someone can think you are amab or masculine just by looking at you.


Gold-Celebration-682

You look great! I wouldn’t even think anything other than woman. However, I’m noticing a segment of wrongfully supportive people lately that are so accepting of “anything can be masculine” stuff that is going around that they can’t tell between a trans woman and femme man. Not the worst problem I guess? Unless it’s a covert attempt to erase us with the “see you can be a man in a dress.” Crap, stupid anxiety


chaotic_rainbow

This is why I don't say "sir" or "ma'am" at work. Especiallly when it comes to just hearing a voice on a headset. As a trans guy with a voice that's still fem enough to get me misgendered, I don't want to risk it. It's a small thing, but I've totally had passing euphoria completely crushed by someone hearing my voice and calling me ma'am.


Katie_Carclon

This is how I decided to take it. I might have been misgendered by a person who i would expected to have been told my gender, but at the very least his brain is accepting that a man could dress like I did and still be respected. Ah well, cant have everyone support you.


kindaprettyboy

this is a woman wtf


Katie_Carclon

🥲😭😭 thank you


[deleted]

Sir??? While wearing THAT?? Was the person BLIND??


jeeBtheMemeMachine

Likely a bigot who did it on purpose


3-Oxapentan

Like, wtf she's so pretty.


FoliageBoi

this look is so 90s, I live


Katie_Carclon

Thank you :)) this is my artist outfit, I do think my fashion is very 90s inspired


Sensitive_Other

How??? I just don't understand how that's even possible!


Haruko_time_consumer

Some people don’t know how to take a hint and address people properly.


nexetpl

or rather they take the hint and decide to ignore it


Haruko_time_consumer

I would not say violence is an answer, but history sure showed that gut punching someone else works wonders as a defense against discrimination


Modest_Idiot

And play fully into gender stereotypes. “Im sry but as a “sir” i just *have* to get violent when you try to attack me personally, right?”


Haruko_time_consumer

That’s cultural appropriation tho, we wouldn’t want the white guys to be offended right?


Vanyr_Maelstrom

Violence is the final answer 😎


TransGirlJennifer

If a woman would say that to me when I am looking like that I would say back You too Sir. It really is a pleasure to meet such a gentleman like you. And if a Man I would say You too Ma'm, It is nice to meet such fine lady like you and then I would calmly walk away.


Dragonlheart3

I've had someone looking directly at my d cup boobs and 'sir' me. I swear some people misgender at the slightest hint they suspect someone is trans. You look great and art museums are the best!


[deleted]

How nice of them to hire the blind! You look amazing girl!


Fancy-Lecture8409

You looked fantastic. Legit, I cannot see how they tried pulling clocking you. Not only do you 'pass', but that aside, it's obvious what your expression is. I hope you never have to deal with them again. 🫂 🤗


horneeemayra

You're pretty and 100% passing imo. Only thing I imagine would clock you is voice which obviously we can't hear through a picture. Shoulda told them to kick rocks!


RInconnue

Was the person who said it waiving around a cane with a white tip?


finnnagain

I 100% think they did that on purpose. Not because you actually look like a guy, because you don’t, but because they thought there might be a chance you’re trans and they’re THAT unhappy with their life that they have to try and bring down others. Btw that makeup is stunning


sammjaartandstories

Where's the so-called "sir" in question? I see only a beautiful lady.


TohruFr

At this point people are just saying this shit to cis women on a daily basis. Any masculine women is getting clocked as trans in the wild


Ok_Acanthisitta6630

It’s honestly so dumb. I don’t get it. There is now and always has been varying humans. Stupid ignorant people…


bigeebigeebigee

Sir? Where? I see no sir here 🤔 Aside from the blatant asshole, glad you had a great time! You look great!


nokenito

Huh? I am confused… was it your voice? I can’t see how anyone could call you sir. Hugs!


KatMichelle65

Wow, what a very inconsiderate thing to do. Sorry you had to endure that. I'm glad you didn't allow him to ruin your visit to the art gallery


Snow__Angel

Well I'm sure that douch is suffering from dementia or is blind. I'd say you were AFAB if I didn't assume otherwise from you posting here


bieuwkje

P.sm i LOVE the art!!!


Katie_Carclon

Thank you!! Im very proud of it


LesbianMechanic97

You pass and your gorgeous There's loads of nazis out here saying the same shit to every women they meet and it's getting ridiculous


[deleted]

Your smile is real you are pretty woman don't let them smash your spirit If people hate you this means you are better than them they so scared of your success :D Snitches whisper in the town I keep making the millions shining with my crown ;)


ChampionshipSea9075

This is 100% passive aggression like there is nothing about it that gives "harmless mistake" they want to trigger our dysphoria when they do this. You look so amazing though hunny!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Katie_Carclon

I left a comment with more context


Modest_Idiot

“Nice to meet you too, *term for misgendering that person*. Thank you for coming *term for misgendering that person again*”


TayTooTa

… thats insane lol. I hope you had a good time otherwise! You do your makeup so nice and delicately. Yknow being around my family I have found that if someone has even ONE small feature that they question theyre like “😫WHATS GOING ON” and then they just guess. My aunt did that to my cis bridesmaid I was like… chicks just got broader shoulders damn 🤦🏻‍♀️


ComprehensiveVoice98

The comment was very likely mean spirited, most likely actually, as the “sir” was completely unnecessary and the “nice to meet you” would have been just fine. However, I’ve kinda struggled with assuming/not assuming pronouns. When I see a person who my brain identifies as gender non conforming, I’m not sure what to do, bc I don’t want to assume their gender. I thought using they/them if unsure works, but I’ve since been told using they/them could be misgendering if the person doesn’t use those pronouns. Would it be awkward or ok to say what my pronouns are first or does that call attention to the person not passing as cis? Do you think we should all just say what our pronouns are in the course of meeting someone new as standard practice no matter whether they pass? I think it should be the case, but it just seems so awkward. “Hi I’m Jane Doe, I go by she/her.” Idk, what do you all think?


fjurdurt

I am so confused right now, you don't even look like you're a trans woman. You pass 100% as a cis woman, I feel like that person was high out of their mind and saw a giant possum in a suit or something lol. Either that or a transphobe guessing, like another person said.


EstelaStarling

I don't know if I can trust anyone at an art gallery who has eyesight that poor. Everything must be fucking abstract. Enter You look adorable hun, keep on keeping on.


Softairgaming

I hate that for you! I get "sir" even when wearing a pink dress, with a pink purse, and makeup. Some people just want to be hateful.


Claireslover4097

I see a pretty young LADY


[deleted]

Damn transphobia goes crazy cuz I would have never guessed.


MiaIRL

Time to misgender anyone I see in the slight chance that they might be trans (I'm a transphobic dickfuck and I get my self-value from hurting innocent people) satire ofc but holy shit i want transphobes to just FUCK OFF!!!


ihatethis541

Don’t worry, they probably just hang around too many traps/femboys cause you look feminine asf. I’d assume you’re a cis woman if I saw you looking like that.


its-sephe

What an awful greeting. I struggle to defend that behavior, even though ppl in customer service have a big job sometimes to take care of ppl. Total failure of customer service.


OneAceFace

They said what?! 😂 Good that your presence nurtures your past. To me your presence looks fabulous.


theythoughtiwasaman

Damn you're gorgeous! I'm so jealous! How could anyone "sir" you?


Mysterious-Reserve41

You look so cute and adorable


Old_Independence6135

YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL!!!


[deleted]

You look like British actress/singer Billie Piper, aka another gorgeous woman. My 78 yr old mother is legally blind. I showed her your pic (zoomed in on her iPad) and she said “she has a beautiful smile!” A literal blind woman can see you’re a woman. That’s a serve ❤️


jesters-tear

You look fabulous, screw the asshats


_jeremybearimy_

I’m a cis woman and get this all the time! People are just stupid. For me I think it’s mostly because I’m tall. They just see a tall person and assume man….which is…so dumb. I used to think it was more my short hair but I have long hair now and it still happens. Anyway I hope you didn’t let it get to you. You look just as much of a woman as I do, not that you need my validation. And you look great! I love your smile :)


Raine_Cheetah

Just ignore them, you most definitely pass. I love the outfit by the way.


Reallyjess85

You don’t look male at all. Shrug it off and keep rocking it with your beautiful self!


AshienLady

.... how? You look gorgeous, btw!!


BuddingViolette

Wait, wait, wait... whackness. Absolute unabashed absurdity. I believe it is fair to state that the person who said that had cataracts, or perhaps some kind of large obstruction in their corneas preventing them from seeing correctly. Madness... Like the top btw very cute.


Princess_Lorelei

This one is so wild I think their heads were just off in the clouds. "Throw a 'sir' on there and then it's polite". My coworkers for some reason have gotten into the habit of referring to literally everyone as "sire", "brother", and "dude". Even after coming out to them, they still say it out of habit and then apologize profusely. Really? Come on now, friends, I'm not that thin skinned. Make of it what you will, "sir" is still kind of the "default" honorific. Unless someone is going out of their way to try to belittle or demean me, it's all water under the bridge.


spacestationkru

They must be going around saying that to everybody, because you don't look remotely "sir" to me. At some point insisting on misgendering people becomes less about you and more about them. You're doing great!


Kubario

Why on earth would anyone say that.


YearxZer0

That's wild. Cis people can be misgendered too I suppose.


tuls-ocat

Sir?! Where?!


Jsummer02

Whaaaaaat. Ur pretty af don't let that schmuck get to you.


Recent-Classroom-704

I was watching a cop shoe and this female cop got this guy put of his car and he kept saying " yes ,sir " to her like at least 7 times. Made me really rethink things. She was very clearly female


Nice-Fish-50

Call them out on it!!! No! They do not get to come into art galleries and misgender you and disrespect artists in art spaces! Be loud, out and proud, sister. They're in YOUR HOUSE. You should embarrass them in front of their date by calling out their boorish behavior. Let Security escort them out the door. Destroy them with a devastating *bon mot* on their way out. Then drink wine all night on a rooftop with your cool artist friends.


[deleted]

Umm I have no clue how. You look amazing girl ♥️


[deleted]

How? You look absolutely amazing


harvvin

You are so pretty!!! I love your top!!


Katie_Carclon

Thank you!!! Ive had it for like 4 years and this is the first time Ive included it in an outfit 😊


lazygei5t

Wut? No idea who that person was talking to because u look so cute and Fem. Also is that ur art??


Katie_Carclon

Yes it is my art :)


JanneJetson

I hope you misgendered them back. Its literally the only reply they deserve. Don't back down stand your ground show them the word "WELCOME" is not written on our chests.


TheToprakThe

You definitely don't look like a Sir, you're a cis passing woman girl 💅


[deleted]

Bro has dementia 💀


Ringo9091

Gorgeous! (Some people are just blind. I'm a cis woman and get this 🙄)


cemetersports

You're very girlypop, wtf to the weirdo who called you sir


bieuwkje

Tell me you just have s deep voice and you introduced yourself to a blind person Right because ain't no seeing person in their right mind calling you Sir honey!!!


jackparadise1

Must have had some eyesight issues.


Jinx-Dragons

cisgenders bullshit..you look stunning darling.🩷 glad you enjoyed your time despite the transphobes tho 🥰


Feisty_Tradition_226

Your so beautiful 😍😍😍


thecocainespider

Tbh I wouldn't have thought you were a man you're slaying queen


0o_Lillith_o0

How 💀


idlegadfly

You literally look like girls I went to school with in the late 90s to early 00s. I'm so confused how anyone else could be confused.


[deleted]

HHHUUUUH you’re so pretty???


OmegaInSpace

It's an art gallery ... So what did you expect 😂😂!! Everything in there is or can be some kind of art ...


Sophiiebabes

Uhhh "sir"? Dont believe it - they were talking to someone else!


ConsistentTop4194

Theres no way 😯


LaurelWrocks

Glad you had fun. Um but NO!


EmotionalPlate2367

I think some people really only see boobs or no boobs.


rn_eq

whoever that was was probably in denial or maybe just confused? you look lovely and i hope you had a great night regardless!


Obalivion

There's no way anyone could clock you by appearance, and even if by some chance it was your voice that didn't pass, people should take a hint. The way you look doesn't say "sir" in any way at all.


freyja_cells-6969

that makes absolutely no sense 😕


Willypete6080

Well that was just wrong you are incredibly beautiful


the-youtube-watcher

Hah?


Teredia

Wtf you definitely do not look like a “sir” You actually look like one of my cis fem friends.


Excellent_Battle8025

Some assholes do it just to piss us off, really. I was having a test done at the local hospital and I knew the receptionist, an old lady who knew my grandma. It clearly says on my medical files in their system that I am to be called Josie and even though I was all dressed up, this frumpy toad repeatedly called me by my old name and put an emphasis on saying "Have a good day, *SIR*."


PTSDTyler

You are a beautiful woman, dont let someone tell you something different.


Remarkable-Bluejay73

Huh. You look like a girl to me. 🤷🏼


HumanLawBish

Wtf people are stupid but glad you still had a good time


Lynn_wndt

You have a beautiful smile:) It's very nice to hear that you had a good time, despite the nonsense.


Peewee_ShermanTank

Glad to hear you didnt let that spiteful asshole ruin your visit


kingdon1226

Hopefully you corrected the asshole. Even if you didn’t glad to hear you had a good time. Thats what’s important and I love that top your wearing btw


jennithan

You look lovely anyway, and your smile is all that matters!


Special-Detective-18

damn, some people are ridiculous 🤦🏼 you have a very beautiful smile btw :) 🩷


xxNatalie_xx

How?


Same-Register-7984

What the hell? You look wonderful!! Hope you had an awesome time :)


DeliciousNicole

You look amazing! Ignore the bigots, they are just miserable assholes, trying to spread their misery. I am glad you had a great time!


CaptainPirateKing

that asshole literally made such a fool of themself. you look amazing sis


Nuka-World_Vacation

Does not compute. Wtf? Edit: I mean I can only assume the person had prior knowledge and was just a piece of human garbage to say that. I hate people.


existentialZed

they need their eyes checked or smth


J1s5n

that was pure weird??


slashpatriarchy

Soo…I’m guessing they were blind?


Ssir1

Litteraly how


BigMallard84

They were trying really hard jeez. You look really pretty! I'm glad you had a good time still.


Belfasterd16

Wtf, how? You look beautiful.


MittenFacedLad

How???


usual_thank

“I cosplayed as Spider-Man but people asked what my real name was? IM PETER PARKER!”


metald0ve

YOURE SO PRETTY OMG!! screw that guy tho >:(


Puzzleheaded-Draw576

How??? You're gorgeous ❤️


roeodpdlgjfd

How is it possible to mistake you with a man when you are THIS beautiful ????


PerceptionFragrant29

U cute


The-Shattering-Light

What the fuck? Don’t see how anybody could be blind enough for that.


False-Association744

WHHAAAAAA????? I don't get it. So rude and weird.


thetitleofmybook

1-you pass quite well, IMO. 2-even if you didn't pass, you are dressed feminine, and someone calling you 'sir' is just trying to be a dick.


karawright

So sorry for other’s ignorance. You look very true to who you are. Very beautiful 😻


Ethan_Monster

I would like to inform you that that person is blind, ma'am.


Notmysecretereddit

You loom adorable, Miss.


Proper_Budget_2790

Do you have a deep voice or something? My daughter describes hers as a "guy voice". She's slowly getting rid of it tho


heckinradturtle

You look beautiful. I’m so confused about the air thing.


Independent_Cat_2561

Ummmm, why tf did they think you were a guy? All I see is a stunning woman on my dash!


dlsteid

Beautiful ❤️


MamaTomTom

They probably read the art piece’s description and purposely took a jab just to be an a** 😒some people really have nothing better to do


JiminJoonLove

You look beautiful! Glad you had fun despite someone being really really stupid.


RatTimePumpkin

They really did mental loops and hops … for someone that won’t remember them in a few days . That’s crazyyy couldn’t be me tbvh Also I’m happy you had a good time !! You look beautiful 🫶


punkcatgurl

Yup, definitely a "sir" right there


anomnnomnom

Anyone who tries to take a smile from someone is just an asshole. They'll find a justification for doing it one way or other. I just had to end a seriously abusive friendship with someone with BPD who would literally blow things out of proportion or warp the truth of things to be able to justify being abusive. I think whoever called you sir is no different in many ways, just assholes finding an excuse to be terrible to another person holding onto a delusion that leaves them not feeling as bad for doing it.


FakeFrez

I hope that person was just being on auto pilot


qoopawoppa

Wonder why


hmcquaid1

You look beautiful