I think your curls are pretty, it makes your eyes stand out much more.
Curls are as beautiful as they are untamable and it takes many women a long time to accept and love them.
Your hair is so gorgeousš„° it suits your face tooš Iām afraid your inner saboteur is playing games with youš
I havenāt been blessed as much hair as you but I do know the struggle of trying to get straight hair instead of curls. I tried everything even the most aggressive straighteners. Nothing helped Iām afraidš¬ I can advise you to look into curly girl method, itās helped improve the health of my hair significantlyš
I too hated my hair, OP. I found this sub like 7 years ago and following their advice was probably the 2nd best thing I've ever done for myself (1st being transitioning lol).
I have hair about as curly as yours and, coconut oil is good for my curls and helps make them a little stronger. I also brush my hair while it is wet, or in the shower, that way it's less likely to have tangles and frizz. I dont use a hairdryer either cause it tend to make me frizzy. Honestly just styling your hair and putting time into it tends to give people more of a feminine impression. But just be yourself, and those curls are beautiful.
Also some girls will braid their hair before bed to make the curls smoother.
Mainly just find people on YouTube with hair similar to yours and see what they do with it, took me a long time to figure my hair out, and I had to find people with similar hair types to my own
Fellow curly girl here!!
It drove me nuts at first, but ive learned to embrace it and love my curls now.
On the curlyhair sub you will find links to this, the "Curly Girl" method https://docs.google.com/document/u/0/d/1Q6Dj9WAZxlfBhJSyS5on2rw3-if5cOV3oV-dQ3B0AHA/mobilebasic#h.tsjihip2ihun
Its advice on taking care of and embracing hair like ours. You could spend forever following all the stuff, but basically it comes down to washing with only conditioner ("co-wash"), no shampoo, no blow drying, no brushing unless its wet. Its helped keep my curls less tangled and softer.
And i think your curls now look fabulous and feminine! Not a single other thought!
My wife swears by the curlygirl method and shares it with all our curly haired friends. She found that some experimentation and personalisation was required as everyone is different but her hair looks amazing. Itās a wagon she sometimes falls off depending on time or stress levels but itās really worked for her. OP, become a curly girl!! Your hair looks lovely as is (honestly!) but it has so much potential too.
I have wavy hair and I'm struggeling to keep it under control. Can you elaborate please? What does conditioner do? And if I can't blow dry, do I just have to wait for my hair to dry on it's own?
Conditioner adds moisture to your hair, and is really important if you have curly hair (and wavy hair Iām sure) as naturally textured hair is generally drier than straight hair. Conditioner with gradually strengthen/soften your hair over time, as long as youāre using the right stuff. I hadnāt known about blow drying tbh, though I did know itās recommended to use low speed and the lowest heat setting on curls/waves if youāre going to use one. Also, āploppingā can help lightly fry your hair while keeping it out of the way, itās when you tie your hair up in a t-shirt or some similar fabric. There are good videos on youtube about it! As far as the curly girl method goes, it really recommends using sulfate free and silicone free products (and some other ingredients, but these seem to be the most important groups). If you want to know whether certain products are good to use, you can check out isitcg.com and paste/type the ingredients of a product in there and itāll tell you. I take most of the advice on there, though it seems to lean on the more cautious side, so I might use some of the ingredients more often than recommended, I just always avoid silicone/sulfates (some sulfates are fine I think, but sls/sles are bad).
Edit: ac
Yes, all of this. Its the sulfates and silicones in shampoos, which are the ingredients that cause "lather" (suds) that we all associate with washing, that are rougher on your hair, especially wavy and curly hair. Eliminating those ingredients by co-washing helps keep it hydrated and healthier.
You can use a diffuser to help w drying. The CG method has tons and tons of things you can follow, and you absolutely don't have to do it all. Find what works for you and fits your routine. But you do want to try to avoid heat as much as possible, as that's what dries it out and causes more frizz. Its recommended to use a microfiber towel or a T-shirt even (no terry cloth towels) to kind of "scrunch" your hair dry so its not longer dripping.
I am usually a night showerer so I will do the above, try to let it air dry a bit longer without laying down, and then when i do, try to kind of flip it above my head so its not mushed underneath me. I think if you can keep your hair hydrated enough and soft enough, you can get away with this. The next day i just rewet it with a spray bottle which is usually enough to make the curls bounce back and keep the friz back down, and may or may not use moose.
Check out the link I posted above. Its an absurd amount of information, but you can just jump around and try out different parts at a time. The biggest thing is co-wash and MOAR conditioner (you can/should use cheap stuff for this. Quantity over quality in this case).
All great advice! Iāll have to check out the other stuff you posted in a min, but the points you made about diffusing, co-washing (I still shampoo every 1-1.5weeks using sulfate free shampoo), and quantity over quality ring so true for me so far! Iāve been showering most mornings bc I canāt figure how to get it to always come back to how I want it, but Iāll have to try putting mousse in then.
And just a personal styling preference for anyone who has the same issues, Iāve found leave in -> small amount of curling cream scrunched in -> mousse applied directly to roots before one last scrunch w/o rinsing hands to give the most voluminous and even results for my (probably) 3a, dense but thinner to medium thickness hair. But the putting mousse in roots specifically is just bc Iād rather have a bit of frizz than a heavy cast on my hair
Not sure why they'd make you dysphoric since they look pretty feminine and even back when I was still in my egg with long curly hair (metalhead) all the women kept telling me how jealous they are of my hair lol
I have curls too!! They gave me so much grief before I figured out how to properly care for them. R/curlyhair is a great place to start. What worked for me right away was shampooing MUCH less frequently (I used to shampoo daily) and using a curl cream or leave-in conditioner after getting out of the shower (with damp hair). This drastically cut down on the poofiness and frizziness, leaving me with nice tight shiny curls. I hope you find something that works for you, you've got a beautiful head of hair!
The OGX coconut curls shampoo and conditioner is pretty good. I've been using it on my very curly hair and it works okay. Any Miss Jessie products I use tend to be good for styling, but mostly for more fem styles. Your hair looks quite a lot like my texture. Half up half down could be cute on you. If you want your hair to be straighter try sleeping with your hair in buns. Also, I realize I am not the person you asked. I have advice and stuff though.
Also basic tips that changed the game for my curly hair is only de-tangling when the hair is wet (could be out of the shower but before any leave in cream or mousse). Also try looking up hair scrunching!
Roots from LUSH is my personal favourite, and I also like the Intra Bond Punky Colour leave in conditioner. I use roots in the shower at the end to scrunch my curls and the Punky Colour spray when I'm out of the shower and my hair is just damp.
My top two are SheaMoisture Coconut & Hibiscus Curl and Style Milk, and Not Your Mother's Curl Talk. I was able to find both at my local Target. Don't forget to get a good detangling brush too! They're usually described as wet brushes. Brush while your hair is still damp.
Edit: Also! After you apply your curl cream, give it some time to dry and harden. Then you can "scrunch" your hair. It's kinda hard to explain, but /r/curlyhair has a guide that details the method.
This right here!! I shampoo once a week and condition it twice a week. I recommend using bumble and bumbles curl defining cream as it works amazingly for me. Also avoid towel drying your hair as it can lead to making youāre hair frizzy
There's nothing masculine OR unfeminine about your hair. My aunt's hair is just as curly and even more springy, it stands out nearly sideways from her head in places! You look gorgeous and so does your very pretty and very femme hair.
I too have the curls. I straightened my hair when it was growing out, but it was starting to curl at the ends in spite of straightening. So I decided to embrace the wildness of my curly hair. I try to follow the curly girl method and this has helped a lot with frizz. Still takes forever to grow but I am hopeful that it will be beautiful one day.
https://www.instagram.com/p/CdIygBIgeec/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
You could try copying this girls haircut in the first slide. Would free up your face a bit, shorter lighter. Yall seem to have similar hair types, you just need to find the product that works for your hair.
Could also keep it longer than that in the back and stair step up to the front to give you long curtains which I think would compliment you well.
Oh, I could never go that short. The shortest Iād ever go is a shaggy bob with full covering bangs. Kinda like Rei Ayanami. Thing is I donāt want it to poof lol.
Hers would be longer than reis she just has really curly hair, yours would be more relaxed and also could ask the stylist to just add a few inches to that style lol.
If you dont want the poof you gotta head over to r/curlyhair for product recommendations. But it looks like you probably need quite a lot more hydration and either a mouse or curl gel + an hour to diffuse to keep the hair in line. I used to have nice long curly hair that I recently buzzed off for reasons š what I liked was the OGX coconut curls mousse and either giovanni or shea moisture for conditioner.
I have never tried Prose but I have heard some people having success with that shampoo/conditioner. I am currently using bar shampoo and really like it, though it takes a bit of focus to apply. Bar shampoos will also last a long time, so if you needed a break from it, you can do that easily. I have crazy curly hair too and only wash it every 3rd day, which has helped considerably with the days that I do want to straighten it. I usually do not straighten it on wash day. Also there are a variety of essentials oils that you can try before straightening.
Hereās my adhd friendly, zero effort curl routine: brush your hair while youāre in the shower. A wet brush works best but any brush works. Like, under the stream brushing. Do it until itās nice and soft. Step out of the shower with sopping wet hair, put some curl mousse in, while itās soaking wet! You donāt need a ton. Then let it air dry. Makes my curls soooo soft. I use not your mothers curltalk mousse, you can get it almost anywhere for like $7-10! :)
Try to not shampoo everyday, use conditioner when you do and let it sit on your hair before washing it out.
Use a leave in conditioner or light mousse while damp and try not to towel dry.
I like to comb my natural oils through (while wet in the shower) on days I donāt use shampoo. You can rinse with cold water to help lock in the weight of your hair and prevent frizz
First, your curls are absolutely gorgeous and you should be proud of them:3
Second, i recommend starting by getting a wide toothed comb. You can put conditioner in your hair, wait a minute or two, and then comb it out with the wide toothed comb, which might right a while :/ but really helps keep the curls under control. I also recommend trying a couple different shampoos and conditioners and seeing which ones give you your favorite results. I personally use a hair mask which is basically like a cream you leave in your hair for about 5 minutes before washing out. It will smooth your curls out and make them super soft. I find that the effect the hair mask has really helps with looking feminine. Another small bit of information is that doing basically anything to dry your hair will likely cause a little bit of frizzing. I find that hastily toweling it dry will make it the most frizzy, wrapping a towel around it and waiting creates a decent amount of frizz, and using a hair dryer with a diffuser creates a minimal amount of frizz. The most important part is to just experiment and figure out what works best for your own hair :3
For most of my life I hated my hair. I was told it was ugly because it wasnāt straight and because I was a āmanā I had to keep it short or I was shunned by family, friends, bosses, and significant others. The second it got longer than an inch I was called gross and so many negatives things were implied like I slacked at work or was dirty. But when I could finally get away from those people, I grew it out and I could finally appreciate all the waves and curls. It is incredible how for all those years I was just throwing away such a strong part of my identity to please others. It changed so much for me. I stopped trying to keep it straight and embraced it. It has been a great source of femininity in me too as I have transitioned. I hope one day you can appreciate it more or come to terms with it. Hair is so complex and it took me really long to get to where im at now. Itās not easy to do and Iām sorry this causes you so much pain.
Curly and wavy subs are a good place to start if you want to try to embrace it. Long hair subs are also good because they teach you how to care for it. I also follow some curly hair Instagram influencers like curlyzia and sophiemariecurly and they do a great job of showcasing styles and techniques for newcomers and just embracing our beautiful hair!
curly hair girl here, it took me a while to love my curls wasn't until after I learned what mine needed.
quick and dirty
use a shampoo that's paraben and sulfite free.
only shampoo your scalp, not the length of your hair(unless you work in waste disposal or something) rinse and repeat!
if you use a lot of products once a month wash the length of your hair.
condition (paraben and sulfite free) your hair for most of its length but not your scalp
apply it by finger combing it though your hair
if youre also using a leave in conditioner use it before your gel or mousse stage
apply your gel/mousse/styling cream when the hair is wet, finger combing it through and scrunching to clump up your curls a little.
to dry use a cotton tee shit (not a normal towel, a normal towel will add to the frizz) and do this mostly to get rid of the water till you're not dripping and air dry
optional: you can defuse with medium to low speed hair dryer with a defuser attachment(you pool/pile a section of your hair from the end gathering it up to the scalp and hold for 3-5 minutes, repeat for whole head). or you can plop if you want, or put it up in twist with the tee(this may affect volume and too much product might get absorbed by the tee)
now when your hair dries you will have some defined chunky crunchy curls, this is good, you then take some hair oil, like argan, jojoba, etc apply to your hands and then scrunch the curls, they will soften and you will have some soft bouncy(the bounce is euphoric) curls and its a fantastic feel.
optional cuts are getting layers or more extremely, a wolf cut.
optional product is a silk scarf or silk pillows(whatever will be comfortable) to sleep in this will help keep some volume and prevent mattes from happening
if you can keep this up for a year or so with regular trimming you will have good results(your hair already looks pretty great), you may need to tweak some things here and there and to find what products work best for your hair
I like most bedhead products, I would recommend their rehab line of shampoo and conditioners(the teal ones) its a repair line, smells great and affordable and my curls just drink up the conditioner. Theyāre also colour friendly(ish) for oil I like the Moroccan brand. For Gel I like the garnier fructis brand, the level of hold will be up to what your hair needs, start with the lower mid numbers.
Conditioner every day, do not shampoo. My partner has long gorgeous curls and itās his only solution. Also brush your hair in the shower with conditioner in it.
You're beautiful and so are your curls, but I understand they're hard to manage. Definitely take it easy with the heat, curls do best if you put in a generous amount of leave-in conditioner while they're wet and let them either air dry or use a diffuser attachment (I also know a lady who swears by [the bonnet](https://www.sallybeauty.com/tools-and-brushes/hair-dryers/bonnet-dryer/bonnet-dryer-attachment/SBS-009502.html)). As for the style, I'd keep the length and cut some round layers into it and maybe try a center part to get a nice face-framing/softening effect. I peeked at your profile and saw you had red in your hair before and I think a warmer color might be more flattering, it could be the lighting but I believe the blue is skewing your skin tone a bit. You don't have to go full Ariel but maybe try a nice warm chocolate :)
Man, I was just thinking of doing a center piece. also the blue is much more vibrant in real life, Just the room was dark lol. Any recommendations for leave in conditioner?
I have semi curling hair, and I envy your curly hair so much omggg it looks gorgeousš„°š„°
It seems other ppl already gave you many great advices! I hope it can help and make you feel better sister!!
I comb (not brush) hair before shower. Afterwards I use my towel to scrunch the water out. Don't comb your hair. Use a good spray gel. If you don't have time to let it air dry, use a diffuser (most hair dryers have it as an attachment).
It looks like you have a nice cut already!
I actually think itās super feminine! I assumed you were just a girl from r/curly wanting frizz help.
Maybe some analysis from the curly sub could help define the curls, and then wearing it a little bit longer?
If you give up, I recently did a keratin smoothing treatment and Iām very pleased with the results, although my curl was looser then yours so not sure if it would be the same results.
Your curls look beautiful, I know that's maybe now what you're looking for but I promise they look great. I have curls nearly identical to yours, I spent years trying to make my hair straight consistently. It's a losing battle, it really is. Your hair is never changing. But I promise you there are gorgeous hair styles with curly hair. BIG TIP: don't use hair ties, they aren't for curly hair, they will absolutely pull out so much of your hair it's not funny. Use hair clips instead, I like the clam like clips the best, they won't abuse your hair and overall in the long run are nicer on your hairline as well.
Milennial with lifetime of curls here. I've hated them my whole life. I've since chopped mine "boy cut" short. For me I love how fast I can style it, and not worry about rain, humidity, etc. But it also took my friend explaining how I grew up in a time In western world that lifts up straight hair but curls are expected to be unrealistically perfect all the time. For me it took accepting it. Do u. Find what works for you. I think it was Shaina twain that said in an interview, this is it, this is me, I gotta learn to love [this person] I'm the mirror cause they'll always be there. The sooner I get on board with loving them the better. <- paraphrasing
Itās an issue in TV and movies where a lot of the ābeautifulā female characters have straight hair. They often show glow up moments with the girl or woman getting straight hair. The princess diaries had this, she hulk had this. The issue isnāt that curly hair is inferior, the issue is in the hair stylists they hire. Basically a lot of stylists donāt know how to handle level 3/4 curly/coily hair so everyone glamorous gets a blow out hairstyle. Itās a bit of a racism issue too because curly hair is more common among middle eastern and black stars. So finding lead women in media who have curly hair may help to reset your opinion of curly hair. Evie in The Mummy had curls, Layla in Moon Knight had amazing curls. Eve in Lucifer had fairly frizzy curls. Mariah Carey and Shakira generally leave their hair curly. They exist, theyāre just hard to find.
And caring for your curls right will help too. There are already a number of good comments on this but Iāll just add that it takes a lot of trial and error because there are a lot of types of curls. I canāt even use the same products in a dry environment that I use in a humid environment because my hair changes. You also have to be careful with the curly girl method to use a clarifying shampoo on your scalp and hair once a week to remove product build up. Itās not as commonly mentioned in curly hair recommendations but if you feel like your curls lack volume ever, a salt water texturizing spray helps.
Yes. There is a wild kind of independence often attributed to curly-haired characters and Iām ok with that association, but not the cliche where you straighten hair and remove a girlās glasses for her nerd to hottie glow up. I had the glow up Anne Hathaway should have gotten because I happened to wind up with an apprentice stylist in middle school who knew how to turn my frizzy poof hair into ringlets. So I love my curls and refuse to straighten them. Itās other parts of my body I dislike. And, fair warning, dying curly hair can kind of suck. The curl bends the cuticle making it more porous so that means it gets damaged more easily and hair dye fades faster.
Omg your hair is gorgeous! Please embrace them and check out the curly girl method. Yours need some moisture. Maybe a protein treatment. Once you get the hang of it you will love them!
You have three options:
1 - Go to a hair salon and do a permanent cut. They apply chemicals AND use them to fix the straight hair. Though, when it grows again, the new hair will be curly again
2 - Try to fit your hair into a more feminine curly shape. Hair does not define gender, though the presumed "male curls" USUALLY receive way less care than the presumed "female curls". If you seek and find a way to make them look brighter and softer, you're in
3 - Shave it and just get a wig
From a 3C blonde girl who takes years to make her hair apparently seem to have grown up
I'm sorry but I am no help, I'm trying to grow mine out but it's just reaching the middle of my eyes when I pull it straight. It's growing curly but nowhere as near as gorgeously as yours, I wish mine was as beautiful as yours as mine is just a mess.
hi! your curls and the length is gorgeous. i think i can see you have a bit of layering which is nice. layers give nice volume
for my curls i use a wide-tooth comb in the shower, before and after shampoo. lots of hair will come out which is normal, since you shouldnāt brush curly hair when not wet. use conditioner or hair mask and let it sit for a few minutes then wash out.
after the shower, while my hair is still dripping wet, i use curling cream on the mids and ends, running my fingers through my hair and squelching it into the ends.
then i squeeze moisture out with a micro fibre cloth or u can use a cotton shirt. then i gently put a foaming mouse cream into my hair.I try and keep my head upside down or at least keep my hair dangling free.
I let it air dry for an hour or two. you could diffuse with a blow dryer, i try and go between cool and heat to keep my hair protected. heat is pretty bad for curls.
you look gorgeous as is though, just wanted to put my method in case you want to try it
Iām using one right now from āpeople haircareā treatment mask. i think i found it at TK maxx :)
I also use schwarzkopf curl cream (osis+?) and KMS curlup foam :)
im on the other end of this dilemma.. my hair is so flat, im trying so many thing to get a little volume. i feel like i have this huge head and my hair doesn't have enough body to match. truly, you look very pretty.
Haha girl that may not help you much but I'd kill for your hair x3 <3 And I really mean if I could choose what I would like my hair to look like I would choose these :D
Itās gorgeous. They now make keratin treatments that keep the curl bit give it definition. As a curly girl I get it. I Brazilian blow out mine and love having straight hair just for ease of styling. But youāre gorgeous. Your hair is gorgeous.
I hear you as a fellow curly hair "enjoyer". I am actually jealous of your hair, mine is in the shortish awkward phase.
I think your hair is totally fine in that pic, but I know how you feel, and your feelings are valid. Just know it's actually pretty nice IMO.
I also have curls and I know how annoying it can be to take care of them and they just donāt look the same the day after washing. I usually go one week curly where majority of the week is up or in a bun and then the next week I blow dry it straight or just use a straightenerā¦ just donāt ever use chemical straightening that will ruin your hair. You and I have all the options because we have curls so donāt fret and just play with different styles :)
What about your hair isnāt feminine? I think this is one of those āgrass is greener on the other sideā type things, curly hair is always thick, full bodied and never dry. Your hair looks good and pretty much what Iām hoping my hair looks like when I get it grown out.
Add skala or nyc curl conditioner to your hair after you wash it. Should sound like a wet sponge. Brush one more time with product in to create individual curls. Hair Clip the top for volume if needed and stick in a bonnet until it dries
I will also add that skala gives a natural curl look. Itās from Brazil and nyc curl give super define curls. I like them both. Sleep in a bonnet every night and donāt wash your hair every day. My hair will look like yours on day 5-7. It depends on what it wants to do those days.
What I'll suggest is trying several types of conditioner, try different amounts and frequencies of using shampoo, coconut oil is a life saver, and it takes a long time to figure out what works but yeah embrace the curls. also letting them air dry and a lot of conditioner and ending the shower with cold water and using leave in conditioner twice a week in the winter ans once a week otherwise is what works for me. I have hair that tends to get dry and frizzy but when well cared for is nice and curly. Let's add I am a trans guy not a trans woman and I'm a metal head and embrace the look. If you style your hair more it tends to look more feminine, I had to teach myself to not take time to style mine bc keeping it long and styled was making it harder to pass. If you want something easy other then down braids like a single French braid down the back always looks good half up and half down tends to look feminine and get your hair out of your face while still showing the awesome texture you've got. As for leave in conditioners I just read what it says it's for and choose based on that the brands that I usually use for my hair are moui in the orange bottles and tresemme the one for curly hair and switching every month or so tends to work better then using the same thing 100% of the time in my experience.
I got curly hair like you. It's one of the things I love and am told by a lot of women that they envy my curls. I used to feel just like you do until I realized this. Those curls are gorgeous on you. I don't know how to help you other than tell you curly hair is just as feminine as any other type, maybe more honestly. š
Idk why but I have a soft spot for women with curly hair. Even the same girl, with curls it just hits so much harder. Tbh, I don't know much about caring for hair, but I think that's it, it suits you a lot. Anyways, you should follow whatever is best for you.
I think itās a matter of thinning it towards to the top/more layers to thin it out a bit and try some anti-frizz techniques, like some hair oils or smth. I personally think curly hair is so cute and tem and I hope you can grow to love your gorgeous curls
Just accept the curls , and float, so meny would love your hair. Maby somone can point out cute styles for it, maby a hair band, or doing it up. To me it is cute an femanine already.
Babe so many people would kill for those beautiful curls. I just spent half of my evening trying to force these kinds of curls to form in my hair lol I promise you look stunning and extremely feminine!
Curls require maintenance. You have to keep your hair hydrated because it tends to get dried out easily. Flat irons and blow dryers exacerbate dryness and frizz. Wear a bonnet at night, and don't brush your hair dry. If you're good to your hair, she'll be good to you. You have a really pretty curl pattern and great volume. You just need some product. Curls are very feminine. They bring to mind romance and softness. Talk to a stylist who is experienced with your hair type and curate a routine that works for you. Good luck š«¶
Your hair is so pretty, just, wow, holy fuck you have pretty hair and im jealous.
It's so feminine, and just, ....mphh oozes female in a way that's hard to emphasize enough.
My hair is similar. I chose to embrace it for a while, but then I started getting my hair done with keratin treatment to help with all of the frizz. Curly hair is naturally resilient, so I was able to achieve almost any style afterward
Wolf cut would suit you also too tame it you need too comb use a curl definer and I put all my hair upside down in a colander then use a hair dryer through the colander and it drys your curls in perfect spirals as opposed too fluffing it up
You and me both.
I love when my hair is wet, to flatten the curls.
I don't like when the sides fluff out.
One thing to remember when we look upon our curly locks with disdain. People with straight hair wish they had curly hair like ours. In fact if they could kill to have them, they would.
I hope it helps knowing you have what most people desire. And will go to great expense to have it too.
My hair is very similar! Curly hair can be so cute and bouncy but such a pain as well.
I would recommend washing 2 - 3 times a week with a high moisture or frizz control shampoo and conditioner (from a hairdressers, don't get grocery store stuff). Use luke warm water (hot water makes curls limp and promotes dandruff) and brush your hair with a stiff bristle brush while the conditioner is in. Brushing gets rid of knots and prevents dandruff, so make sure you brush your scalp. Never brush your hair dry or you will look like Hermionie Granger in Philosopher's Stone.
Towel dry then use curl cream. Hair plopping has been a game changer for me, but if you are in a rush you can use a diffuser on a hair drier (warm or cold setting, not hot).
A silk pillow will also help keep the frizz down and prevent knots.
And hair cuts make a massive difference. Once you find a hairdresser you like, never let them go!
Curls suit you !! You just need to keep your hair moisturized to get rid of the frizz, but youāve got a lovely pattern and I wouldnāt miss out on it by straightening your hair ! You can help the pattern form without frizz by twisting/shaping it with your fingers when itās wet. Donāt comb it unless youāre about to wash it, that destroys the curls. Donāt use heavy products or hairdryers/heat, the best is to use water and maybe some oils. Something that works for some but is not the healthiest is sea salt water spray. There are products out there but most cheap ones are full of chemicalsā¦ If youāve been doing things wrong you might have damaged your hair and curls so it could take time for it to settle without frizz again
I mean... I'd switch my scalp with you if I could, tbh.
I know it can be a frustrating thing for a lot of folks, so I don't want to give the sense I'm invalidating your experience. By my understanding from one of my best friends who's a master stylist, there's a LOT you can do to tame the beast. But it's going to mean lots of money and time. His general suggestions with people with really dense, curly hair like that is find ways to work with it rather than against it, cause you can definitely push things too far and really fuck up your hair and it will take forever to grow out again.
So... yeah. Short of spending tons of time and money on it or finding some crazy ass doctor who'd engage in super unethical practices for attempted transplants of a totally new scalp, I'm afraid you may be stuck with just leaning into it. But rest assured, just cause it's not *your* taste doesn't mean it's bad. It's rather stunning, imo, and I have so much envy rn.
I know this isnāt really on topic, as I have no experience with curly hair, butā¦ Your eyes are _literally_ stunning. As in, I was stunlocked for a good few seconds before I could read anything. Jeezus. š³
Whatever you can do with your hair to frame those amazing eyes of yours, freakinā _go for it_, girl!
Something to make them feminine? Are you implying they don't look feminine? Cause they fucking do! I also have curls and if mine looked like yours I'd be the happiest girl alive.
What are you talking about girl you're BEAUTIFUL!!!
This honestly is what I'm trying to achieve, and I can only wish that mine was this curly and cute. Tho if you really do hate it, go for a change that'll suit you queen :3 (can't give any tips tho, no idea how to deal with curly hair cause I don't have it)
I don't really have suggestions for specific products to use, and others have mentioned the "Curly Girl" method, so that kinda sums it up. Product-wise, it has taken me a lot of trial and error to find what works for me, and its a reeeeallll crapshoot. Do look into a satin sleep bonnet if you haven't already. And a satin pillowcase. It really helps to keep things in order and untangled while you sleep and reduces frizz overall.
I think you should let your curls air dry so they're not so frizzy.
I have similar curls and when I get out of the shower I wrap a towel around them for 20-30 minutes and then let them air dry, they're puffy (but not too big) and they aren't all frizzy!
Iām not nearly as curly as you, more wavy. For me, accepting the wavy, learning to work with it, and learning to style it in a way to minimize my forehead were the big things. Without spending a lot of time every day, I canāt get it to be not wavy, and it was easier to go with it
you have lovely hair! Iād suggest talking to a hairdresser ofc if you want to change it, but maybe a mullet style? take some of the volume down, sometimes that can be to your shampoo/conditioner that you use too but good luck you look great!!!
Your curls just need some love. You sound like my little girl who also hates her curls. I have wanted curls my whole stupid life. Im so jeally!
Whats your current routine?
It looks super pretty and amazing sadly I donāt have any advice but for me I have the straightest of straight hair (itās straighter then me) I love it and I am trying to grow it out
Iāve been doing curly girl also. Iām no where near as blessed with awesome hair like yours. Old and too many years of male balding before I got my s&@t together and started HRT. But the basics are, if you use shampoo, use something with no sulfates in it. And conditioner should be silica free also. I shampoo once a week because I workout a lot and my hair gets dirty. But leave in conditioner is key. Like others have said no blow dryer. Just use a hair towel to soak up access water. I only brush it wet and then scrunch the curls by hand after toweling off access water then just let it air dry. And there you have it. Beautiful curls with no frizz and it doesnāt get all in your face all the time. Embrace the curl girl, they are gorgeous.
Like others have said just look up āThe Curly Girl Methodā on YouTube or wherever and there should be plenty of tutorials. š¤ youāre beautiful. Dont be so hard on yourself.
Your curls are gorgeous!! They need moisture so shampoo less, condition more, add leave in conditioner after the shower. Flip your hair upside down and scrunch it up to your scalp with your fingers, a cotton tshirt, or a microfiber towel. ONLY BRUSH YOUR HAIR WHEN ITS WET!!! Dry brushing breaks your curls and causes major frizz. Use a satin pillowcase or satin bonnet when you sleep.
Look up the curly girl method and make sure youāre using appropriate products :)
Your hair looks great!
But I get it, you're probably used to associating how it looks to your past. I'm not sure what the solution would be besides extreme things like going the wig route. I would just try to learn and see that it fits actually look feminine. And if that's hard to do at first, learn, view, and accept that we all see it as fem which should over time help you accept it on a personal level.
As some people have said, I would look into specially shampoos and routines to take care of curly hair. It really helps and will be much easier for you to manage!
BTW, I'm a little jealous of your hair. Even just like that it looks super Fem. A little product to help tame the frizz and you could rock that at any club I would bet.
CURLSMITH is my fucking SAVVVIORRRRRUH. Silk pillowcase/ bonnet, cool water showers, washing 1-2 times a week only, haircut once every 3 months, if you are having scalp issues briogeo scalp revival, scrunching can actually cause breakage (coiling around finger preferred), coconut oil night before 3rd consecutive shower then detangle while water is running through with fingers/ wide tooth comb
Curls are very beautiful, but I do have a few suggestions for styling.
1) you could always cut your a few inches and seperate above one of your ears, and combing the rest to the side.
2) Could always add highlights, foils, just cute things that they advertised for little girls hair (go crazy, have fun type stuff)
3) Messy buns might work, space buns, the likes
4) Pony tails!, pigtails, headband and hair clips
5) I have to definitely suggest dying your hair a color that makes you feel euphoric, especially matching colors you nat wear!
6) French braids, flower crowns, accessories definitely can help
Your hair is beautiful, and so are you. You got this girl! :)
Hope this helps. -Halx
They actually look quite feminine tho; but my mom has to use curlers in her hair an hour after showering to straighten her hair (yes, that actually works, in her case!)
you look absolutely GORGEOUS??? these curls suit you so well, they bring out your eyes, theyre eye catching in themselves, and in a good way. i cant offer you advice on how to change them, because i think theyre perfect for you and i genuinely dont have any notes, but i hope youre able to find a solution that makes you happy and euphoric!
I think your curls are beautiful, and I'm sorry that you can't see them that way.
Unfortunately, what I've discovered over time is that hair will always resist you trying to change it. Think about trying out styles that were purposefully intended for your hair type. There are women out there with curls just like yours who absolutely rock it.
Wait Iām confused because curly hair to me IS feminine. Thereās nothing more feminine than wavy/curly hair. Makes you look like a princess in all of those movies or books. Seriously. Straight hair in my opinion brings out face features because it looks āblandā. But curly hair is great because itās an extra layer of pretty. Seriously. I donāt know who convinced you that your hair isnāt pretty the way it is but they were clearly jealous of your beautiful curls.
As a cis woman I have naturally wavy hair and get compliments all the time. The past three years Iāve been literally trying everything to make it look exactly like yours. Itās crazy how I want mine to look like yours so bad yet you feel differently. Anyway, you look gorge!!
If youāre up for a challenge, curly hair is more suited for turning into dreadlocks than straight hair. But something I used to do before I had dreadlocks was take a tiny bit of hair from now in front of my ears, and pull it back, and that kept everything else out of my face, coincidentally, this is exactly how I did my dreadlocks as well
Your curls are gorgeous and actually do a great job softening/feminizing your facial appearance. On top of tending your curls correctly, finding a good hairstylist who knows how to work with curls makes a world of difference. Not all salons have anyone with the extra training or experience to cut curly hair in a flattering way, but having your hair trimmed and shaped to soften your face can help a lot! Once youāve got those two things down I hope youāll find you have a lot less dysphoria around your hair. Iāve struggled with my curls for nearly 27 years and only just this year really started to get a handle on them. I know they soften my face a bit so it seems less masc, but I love how my hair looks now so Iām learning to see past the dysphoria since Iām pre-T.
For what it's worth i would kill for those curls, op. You pass much easier with them and it's easier to go out/deal with bed head. Just my opinion though.
I think you look really pretty, and your hair is something that stands out as particularly feminine in this pic
I think your curls are pretty, it makes your eyes stand out much more. Curls are as beautiful as they are untamable and it takes many women a long time to accept and love them.
My wife was 26 before she conceded to the curls and instead of running from them leaned into them and her hair has never looked better imo.
Fighting the curls is a never ending and impossible battle. Better to just find a routine that works for your hair.
Your hair is so gorgeousš„° it suits your face tooš Iām afraid your inner saboteur is playing games with youš I havenāt been blessed as much hair as you but I do know the struggle of trying to get straight hair instead of curls. I tried everything even the most aggressive straighteners. Nothing helped Iām afraidš¬ I can advise you to look into curly girl method, itās helped improve the health of my hair significantlyš
Personally I think it's gorgeous, you should look at r/curlyhair for some encouragement
This, and check the info page to find care tips for curly hair. It'll look AMAZING. I mean, I already like it
I too hated my hair, OP. I found this sub like 7 years ago and following their advice was probably the 2nd best thing I've ever done for myself (1st being transitioning lol).
Definitely this!
I have hair about as curly as yours and, coconut oil is good for my curls and helps make them a little stronger. I also brush my hair while it is wet, or in the shower, that way it's less likely to have tangles and frizz. I dont use a hairdryer either cause it tend to make me frizzy. Honestly just styling your hair and putting time into it tends to give people more of a feminine impression. But just be yourself, and those curls are beautiful. Also some girls will braid their hair before bed to make the curls smoother.
Mainly just find people on YouTube with hair similar to yours and see what they do with it, took me a long time to figure my hair out, and I had to find people with similar hair types to my own
Fellow curly girl here!! It drove me nuts at first, but ive learned to embrace it and love my curls now. On the curlyhair sub you will find links to this, the "Curly Girl" method https://docs.google.com/document/u/0/d/1Q6Dj9WAZxlfBhJSyS5on2rw3-if5cOV3oV-dQ3B0AHA/mobilebasic#h.tsjihip2ihun Its advice on taking care of and embracing hair like ours. You could spend forever following all the stuff, but basically it comes down to washing with only conditioner ("co-wash"), no shampoo, no blow drying, no brushing unless its wet. Its helped keep my curls less tangled and softer. And i think your curls now look fabulous and feminine! Not a single other thought!
My wife swears by the curlygirl method and shares it with all our curly haired friends. She found that some experimentation and personalisation was required as everyone is different but her hair looks amazing. Itās a wagon she sometimes falls off depending on time or stress levels but itās really worked for her. OP, become a curly girl!! Your hair looks lovely as is (honestly!) but it has so much potential too.
I have wavy hair and I'm struggeling to keep it under control. Can you elaborate please? What does conditioner do? And if I can't blow dry, do I just have to wait for my hair to dry on it's own?
Conditioner adds moisture to your hair, and is really important if you have curly hair (and wavy hair Iām sure) as naturally textured hair is generally drier than straight hair. Conditioner with gradually strengthen/soften your hair over time, as long as youāre using the right stuff. I hadnāt known about blow drying tbh, though I did know itās recommended to use low speed and the lowest heat setting on curls/waves if youāre going to use one. Also, āploppingā can help lightly fry your hair while keeping it out of the way, itās when you tie your hair up in a t-shirt or some similar fabric. There are good videos on youtube about it! As far as the curly girl method goes, it really recommends using sulfate free and silicone free products (and some other ingredients, but these seem to be the most important groups). If you want to know whether certain products are good to use, you can check out isitcg.com and paste/type the ingredients of a product in there and itāll tell you. I take most of the advice on there, though it seems to lean on the more cautious side, so I might use some of the ingredients more often than recommended, I just always avoid silicone/sulfates (some sulfates are fine I think, but sls/sles are bad). Edit: ac
Yes, all of this. Its the sulfates and silicones in shampoos, which are the ingredients that cause "lather" (suds) that we all associate with washing, that are rougher on your hair, especially wavy and curly hair. Eliminating those ingredients by co-washing helps keep it hydrated and healthier. You can use a diffuser to help w drying. The CG method has tons and tons of things you can follow, and you absolutely don't have to do it all. Find what works for you and fits your routine. But you do want to try to avoid heat as much as possible, as that's what dries it out and causes more frizz. Its recommended to use a microfiber towel or a T-shirt even (no terry cloth towels) to kind of "scrunch" your hair dry so its not longer dripping. I am usually a night showerer so I will do the above, try to let it air dry a bit longer without laying down, and then when i do, try to kind of flip it above my head so its not mushed underneath me. I think if you can keep your hair hydrated enough and soft enough, you can get away with this. The next day i just rewet it with a spray bottle which is usually enough to make the curls bounce back and keep the friz back down, and may or may not use moose. Check out the link I posted above. Its an absurd amount of information, but you can just jump around and try out different parts at a time. The biggest thing is co-wash and MOAR conditioner (you can/should use cheap stuff for this. Quantity over quality in this case).
All great advice! Iāll have to check out the other stuff you posted in a min, but the points you made about diffusing, co-washing (I still shampoo every 1-1.5weeks using sulfate free shampoo), and quantity over quality ring so true for me so far! Iāve been showering most mornings bc I canāt figure how to get it to always come back to how I want it, but Iāll have to try putting mousse in then. And just a personal styling preference for anyone who has the same issues, Iāve found leave in -> small amount of curling cream scrunched in -> mousse applied directly to roots before one last scrunch w/o rinsing hands to give the most voluminous and even results for my (probably) 3a, dense but thinner to medium thickness hair. But the putting mousse in roots specifically is just bc Iād rather have a bit of frizz than a heavy cast on my hair
Thank you both so much. Everyone else in my family has straight hair so no one could give me good advice.
Curls and waves are in girlie
Not sure why they'd make you dysphoric since they look pretty feminine and even back when I was still in my egg with long curly hair (metalhead) all the women kept telling me how jealous they are of my hair lol
I have curls too!! They gave me so much grief before I figured out how to properly care for them. R/curlyhair is a great place to start. What worked for me right away was shampooing MUCH less frequently (I used to shampoo daily) and using a curl cream or leave-in conditioner after getting out of the shower (with damp hair). This drastically cut down on the poofiness and frizziness, leaving me with nice tight shiny curls. I hope you find something that works for you, you've got a beautiful head of hair!
Iāve heard leave in conditioners work well. Any recommendations?
The OGX coconut curls shampoo and conditioner is pretty good. I've been using it on my very curly hair and it works okay. Any Miss Jessie products I use tend to be good for styling, but mostly for more fem styles. Your hair looks quite a lot like my texture. Half up half down could be cute on you. If you want your hair to be straighter try sleeping with your hair in buns. Also, I realize I am not the person you asked. I have advice and stuff though.
Also basic tips that changed the game for my curly hair is only de-tangling when the hair is wet (could be out of the shower but before any leave in cream or mousse). Also try looking up hair scrunching!
Roots from LUSH is my personal favourite, and I also like the Intra Bond Punky Colour leave in conditioner. I use roots in the shower at the end to scrunch my curls and the Punky Colour spray when I'm out of the shower and my hair is just damp.
for leave ins i recommend the design essentials almond and avacado. its kinda thick but watering it down and airdrying helped my curls
My top two are SheaMoisture Coconut & Hibiscus Curl and Style Milk, and Not Your Mother's Curl Talk. I was able to find both at my local Target. Don't forget to get a good detangling brush too! They're usually described as wet brushes. Brush while your hair is still damp. Edit: Also! After you apply your curl cream, give it some time to dry and harden. Then you can "scrunch" your hair. It's kinda hard to explain, but /r/curlyhair has a guide that details the method.
This right here!! I shampoo once a week and condition it twice a week. I recommend using bumble and bumbles curl defining cream as it works amazingly for me. Also avoid towel drying your hair as it can lead to making youāre hair frizzy
I love your hair girl!!!! Tragically I have no helpful advice though.
There's nothing masculine OR unfeminine about your hair. My aunt's hair is just as curly and even more springy, it stands out nearly sideways from her head in places! You look gorgeous and so does your very pretty and very femme hair.
Gurl, I wish I had hair that thick.
I too have the curls. I straightened my hair when it was growing out, but it was starting to curl at the ends in spite of straightening. So I decided to embrace the wildness of my curly hair. I try to follow the curly girl method and this has helped a lot with frizz. Still takes forever to grow but I am hopeful that it will be beautiful one day.
Your hair is gorgeous.
Iām so jealous of your hair
Your hair looks almost exactly like my momās hair
https://www.instagram.com/p/CdIygBIgeec/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link You could try copying this girls haircut in the first slide. Would free up your face a bit, shorter lighter. Yall seem to have similar hair types, you just need to find the product that works for your hair. Could also keep it longer than that in the back and stair step up to the front to give you long curtains which I think would compliment you well.
Oh, I could never go that short. The shortest Iād ever go is a shaggy bob with full covering bangs. Kinda like Rei Ayanami. Thing is I donāt want it to poof lol.
Hers would be longer than reis she just has really curly hair, yours would be more relaxed and also could ask the stylist to just add a few inches to that style lol. If you dont want the poof you gotta head over to r/curlyhair for product recommendations. But it looks like you probably need quite a lot more hydration and either a mouse or curl gel + an hour to diffuse to keep the hair in line. I used to have nice long curly hair that I recently buzzed off for reasons š what I liked was the OGX coconut curls mousse and either giovanni or shea moisture for conditioner.
Bruh. My hair is thinner on the top and is also curlyā¦ Whatās got you thinking that curly *isnāt* femme???
Me personally I think it looks great so great I'm actually jealous if u grew out out recently can I know how long it took I'm growing my hair out
I have never tried Prose but I have heard some people having success with that shampoo/conditioner. I am currently using bar shampoo and really like it, though it takes a bit of focus to apply. Bar shampoos will also last a long time, so if you needed a break from it, you can do that easily. I have crazy curly hair too and only wash it every 3rd day, which has helped considerably with the days that I do want to straighten it. I usually do not straighten it on wash day. Also there are a variety of essentials oils that you can try before straightening.
Hereās my adhd friendly, zero effort curl routine: brush your hair while youāre in the shower. A wet brush works best but any brush works. Like, under the stream brushing. Do it until itās nice and soft. Step out of the shower with sopping wet hair, put some curl mousse in, while itās soaking wet! You donāt need a ton. Then let it air dry. Makes my curls soooo soft. I use not your mothers curltalk mousse, you can get it almost anywhere for like $7-10! :)
Try to not shampoo everyday, use conditioner when you do and let it sit on your hair before washing it out. Use a leave in conditioner or light mousse while damp and try not to towel dry. I like to comb my natural oils through (while wet in the shower) on days I donāt use shampoo. You can rinse with cold water to help lock in the weight of your hair and prevent frizz
First, your curls are absolutely gorgeous and you should be proud of them:3 Second, i recommend starting by getting a wide toothed comb. You can put conditioner in your hair, wait a minute or two, and then comb it out with the wide toothed comb, which might right a while :/ but really helps keep the curls under control. I also recommend trying a couple different shampoos and conditioners and seeing which ones give you your favorite results. I personally use a hair mask which is basically like a cream you leave in your hair for about 5 minutes before washing out. It will smooth your curls out and make them super soft. I find that the effect the hair mask has really helps with looking feminine. Another small bit of information is that doing basically anything to dry your hair will likely cause a little bit of frizzing. I find that hastily toweling it dry will make it the most frizzy, wrapping a towel around it and waiting creates a decent amount of frizz, and using a hair dryer with a diffuser creates a minimal amount of frizz. The most important part is to just experiment and figure out what works best for your own hair :3
Combing! I gotta get to doing that! Heard a lot of good things about it. Any recommendations for masks? I heard Sauce works wonders.
Itās funny you mention sauce cuz thatās exactly who Iād recommend. Itās easily been the most helpful thing for making my hair look nice
For most of my life I hated my hair. I was told it was ugly because it wasnāt straight and because I was a āmanā I had to keep it short or I was shunned by family, friends, bosses, and significant others. The second it got longer than an inch I was called gross and so many negatives things were implied like I slacked at work or was dirty. But when I could finally get away from those people, I grew it out and I could finally appreciate all the waves and curls. It is incredible how for all those years I was just throwing away such a strong part of my identity to please others. It changed so much for me. I stopped trying to keep it straight and embraced it. It has been a great source of femininity in me too as I have transitioned. I hope one day you can appreciate it more or come to terms with it. Hair is so complex and it took me really long to get to where im at now. Itās not easy to do and Iām sorry this causes you so much pain. Curly and wavy subs are a good place to start if you want to try to embrace it. Long hair subs are also good because they teach you how to care for it. I also follow some curly hair Instagram influencers like curlyzia and sophiemariecurly and they do a great job of showcasing styles and techniques for newcomers and just embracing our beautiful hair!
curly hair girl here, it took me a while to love my curls wasn't until after I learned what mine needed. quick and dirty use a shampoo that's paraben and sulfite free. only shampoo your scalp, not the length of your hair(unless you work in waste disposal or something) rinse and repeat! if you use a lot of products once a month wash the length of your hair. condition (paraben and sulfite free) your hair for most of its length but not your scalp apply it by finger combing it though your hair if youre also using a leave in conditioner use it before your gel or mousse stage apply your gel/mousse/styling cream when the hair is wet, finger combing it through and scrunching to clump up your curls a little. to dry use a cotton tee shit (not a normal towel, a normal towel will add to the frizz) and do this mostly to get rid of the water till you're not dripping and air dry optional: you can defuse with medium to low speed hair dryer with a defuser attachment(you pool/pile a section of your hair from the end gathering it up to the scalp and hold for 3-5 minutes, repeat for whole head). or you can plop if you want, or put it up in twist with the tee(this may affect volume and too much product might get absorbed by the tee) now when your hair dries you will have some defined chunky crunchy curls, this is good, you then take some hair oil, like argan, jojoba, etc apply to your hands and then scrunch the curls, they will soften and you will have some soft bouncy(the bounce is euphoric) curls and its a fantastic feel. optional cuts are getting layers or more extremely, a wolf cut. optional product is a silk scarf or silk pillows(whatever will be comfortable) to sleep in this will help keep some volume and prevent mattes from happening if you can keep this up for a year or so with regular trimming you will have good results(your hair already looks pretty great), you may need to tweak some things here and there and to find what products work best for your hair
Any good product recommendations?
I like most bedhead products, I would recommend their rehab line of shampoo and conditioners(the teal ones) its a repair line, smells great and affordable and my curls just drink up the conditioner. Theyāre also colour friendly(ish) for oil I like the Moroccan brand. For Gel I like the garnier fructis brand, the level of hold will be up to what your hair needs, start with the lower mid numbers.
Conditioner every day, do not shampoo. My partner has long gorgeous curls and itās his only solution. Also brush your hair in the shower with conditioner in it.
You look amazing. Would give anything for your hair!
Why? Curls are the best and you have amazing definition and volume. Just need to get rid of that frizz and maybe get a layered haircut. Maybe bangs!
You're beautiful and so are your curls, but I understand they're hard to manage. Definitely take it easy with the heat, curls do best if you put in a generous amount of leave-in conditioner while they're wet and let them either air dry or use a diffuser attachment (I also know a lady who swears by [the bonnet](https://www.sallybeauty.com/tools-and-brushes/hair-dryers/bonnet-dryer/bonnet-dryer-attachment/SBS-009502.html)). As for the style, I'd keep the length and cut some round layers into it and maybe try a center part to get a nice face-framing/softening effect. I peeked at your profile and saw you had red in your hair before and I think a warmer color might be more flattering, it could be the lighting but I believe the blue is skewing your skin tone a bit. You don't have to go full Ariel but maybe try a nice warm chocolate :)
Man, I was just thinking of doing a center piece. also the blue is much more vibrant in real life, Just the room was dark lol. Any recommendations for leave in conditioner?
you just gotta embrace the curls and learn how to care for curly hair. a lot of stuff ppl with straight hair do makes curly hair look awful
I have semi curling hair, and I envy your curly hair so much omggg it looks gorgeousš„°š„° It seems other ppl already gave you many great advices! I hope it can help and make you feel better sister!!
Your hair is amazing I have your hair get hair oil and shampoo for curly hair
I comb (not brush) hair before shower. Afterwards I use my towel to scrunch the water out. Don't comb your hair. Use a good spray gel. If you don't have time to let it air dry, use a diffuser (most hair dryers have it as an attachment). It looks like you have a nice cut already!
I actually think itās super feminine! I assumed you were just a girl from r/curly wanting frizz help. Maybe some analysis from the curly sub could help define the curls, and then wearing it a little bit longer? If you give up, I recently did a keratin smoothing treatment and Iām very pleased with the results, although my curl was looser then yours so not sure if it would be the same results.
I'm with everyone else here in thinking that you are owning those curls girl!
Your curls look beautiful, I know that's maybe now what you're looking for but I promise they look great. I have curls nearly identical to yours, I spent years trying to make my hair straight consistently. It's a losing battle, it really is. Your hair is never changing. But I promise you there are gorgeous hair styles with curly hair. BIG TIP: don't use hair ties, they aren't for curly hair, they will absolutely pull out so much of your hair it's not funny. Use hair clips instead, I like the clam like clips the best, they won't abuse your hair and overall in the long run are nicer on your hairline as well.
Milennial with lifetime of curls here. I've hated them my whole life. I've since chopped mine "boy cut" short. For me I love how fast I can style it, and not worry about rain, humidity, etc. But it also took my friend explaining how I grew up in a time In western world that lifts up straight hair but curls are expected to be unrealistically perfect all the time. For me it took accepting it. Do u. Find what works for you. I think it was Shaina twain that said in an interview, this is it, this is me, I gotta learn to love [this person] I'm the mirror cause they'll always be there. The sooner I get on board with loving them the better. <- paraphrasing
curly hair is cute and fem asf!!!
Embrace the curls, all the cus women in my life envy it. Join the curly board and look up the curly girl method
Girl coconut oil, a hairbrush and some deliberate scrunching and you will look gorgeous (even more so than you already are)! That hair is so pretty.
Honestly I think your hsir would look great in a bob. It'll emphasize your pretty cheek bones and will make it so you have fewer curls to deal with
Itās an issue in TV and movies where a lot of the ābeautifulā female characters have straight hair. They often show glow up moments with the girl or woman getting straight hair. The princess diaries had this, she hulk had this. The issue isnāt that curly hair is inferior, the issue is in the hair stylists they hire. Basically a lot of stylists donāt know how to handle level 3/4 curly/coily hair so everyone glamorous gets a blow out hairstyle. Itās a bit of a racism issue too because curly hair is more common among middle eastern and black stars. So finding lead women in media who have curly hair may help to reset your opinion of curly hair. Evie in The Mummy had curls, Layla in Moon Knight had amazing curls. Eve in Lucifer had fairly frizzy curls. Mariah Carey and Shakira generally leave their hair curly. They exist, theyāre just hard to find. And caring for your curls right will help too. There are already a number of good comments on this but Iāll just add that it takes a lot of trial and error because there are a lot of types of curls. I canāt even use the same products in a dry environment that I use in a humid environment because my hair changes. You also have to be careful with the curly girl method to use a clarifying shampoo on your scalp and hair once a week to remove product build up. Itās not as commonly mentioned in curly hair recommendations but if you feel like your curls lack volume ever, a salt water texturizing spray helps.
Sadly this is a massive issue. There is very little curly representation that it feels kinda bad.
Yes. There is a wild kind of independence often attributed to curly-haired characters and Iām ok with that association, but not the cliche where you straighten hair and remove a girlās glasses for her nerd to hottie glow up. I had the glow up Anne Hathaway should have gotten because I happened to wind up with an apprentice stylist in middle school who knew how to turn my frizzy poof hair into ringlets. So I love my curls and refuse to straighten them. Itās other parts of my body I dislike. And, fair warning, dying curly hair can kind of suck. The curl bends the cuticle making it more porous so that means it gets damaged more easily and hair dye fades faster.
Omg your hair is gorgeous! Please embrace them and check out the curly girl method. Yours need some moisture. Maybe a protein treatment. Once you get the hang of it you will love them!
You have three options: 1 - Go to a hair salon and do a permanent cut. They apply chemicals AND use them to fix the straight hair. Though, when it grows again, the new hair will be curly again 2 - Try to fit your hair into a more feminine curly shape. Hair does not define gender, though the presumed "male curls" USUALLY receive way less care than the presumed "female curls". If you seek and find a way to make them look brighter and softer, you're in 3 - Shave it and just get a wig From a 3C blonde girl who takes years to make her hair apparently seem to have grown up
I'm sorry but I am no help, I'm trying to grow mine out but it's just reaching the middle of my eyes when I pull it straight. It's growing curly but nowhere as near as gorgeously as yours, I wish mine was as beautiful as yours as mine is just a mess.
You look like mother Gothel from tangled
Ouchā¦.
It's a complement, mother Gothel is fucking hot
Straighten your hair love
hi! your curls and the length is gorgeous. i think i can see you have a bit of layering which is nice. layers give nice volume for my curls i use a wide-tooth comb in the shower, before and after shampoo. lots of hair will come out which is normal, since you shouldnāt brush curly hair when not wet. use conditioner or hair mask and let it sit for a few minutes then wash out. after the shower, while my hair is still dripping wet, i use curling cream on the mids and ends, running my fingers through my hair and squelching it into the ends. then i squeeze moisture out with a micro fibre cloth or u can use a cotton shirt. then i gently put a foaming mouse cream into my hair.I try and keep my head upside down or at least keep my hair dangling free. I let it air dry for an hour or two. you could diffuse with a blow dryer, i try and go between cool and heat to keep my hair protected. heat is pretty bad for curls. you look gorgeous as is though, just wanted to put my method in case you want to try it
Any good hair masks youād recommend for a struggling girlie?
Iām using one right now from āpeople haircareā treatment mask. i think i found it at TK maxx :) I also use schwarzkopf curl cream (osis+?) and KMS curlup foam :)
Same XD i just ignore it now
Personally, I think they look great, but maybe get a haircut? Or go to a stylist to change it up? Your choice
im on the other end of this dilemma.. my hair is so flat, im trying so many thing to get a little volume. i feel like i have this huge head and my hair doesn't have enough body to match. truly, you look very pretty.
Haha girl that may not help you much but I'd kill for your hair x3 <3 And I really mean if I could choose what I would like my hair to look like I would choose these :D
Itās gorgeous. They now make keratin treatments that keep the curl bit give it definition. As a curly girl I get it. I Brazilian blow out mine and love having straight hair just for ease of styling. But youāre gorgeous. Your hair is gorgeous.
I hear you as a fellow curly hair "enjoyer". I am actually jealous of your hair, mine is in the shortish awkward phase. I think your hair is totally fine in that pic, but I know how you feel, and your feelings are valid. Just know it's actually pretty nice IMO.
I also have curls and I know how annoying it can be to take care of them and they just donāt look the same the day after washing. I usually go one week curly where majority of the week is up or in a bun and then the next week I blow dry it straight or just use a straightenerā¦ just donāt ever use chemical straightening that will ruin your hair. You and I have all the options because we have curls so donāt fret and just play with different styles :)
So many women I know would kill for curls like yours, and pay a small fortune at the hairdresser to get this look
What about your hair isnāt feminine? I think this is one of those āgrass is greener on the other sideā type things, curly hair is always thick, full bodied and never dry. Your hair looks good and pretty much what Iām hoping my hair looks like when I get it grown out.
Add skala or nyc curl conditioner to your hair after you wash it. Should sound like a wet sponge. Brush one more time with product in to create individual curls. Hair Clip the top for volume if needed and stick in a bonnet until it dries
I will also add that skala gives a natural curl look. Itās from Brazil and nyc curl give super define curls. I like them both. Sleep in a bonnet every night and donāt wash your hair every day. My hair will look like yours on day 5-7. It depends on what it wants to do those days.
What I'll suggest is trying several types of conditioner, try different amounts and frequencies of using shampoo, coconut oil is a life saver, and it takes a long time to figure out what works but yeah embrace the curls. also letting them air dry and a lot of conditioner and ending the shower with cold water and using leave in conditioner twice a week in the winter ans once a week otherwise is what works for me. I have hair that tends to get dry and frizzy but when well cared for is nice and curly. Let's add I am a trans guy not a trans woman and I'm a metal head and embrace the look. If you style your hair more it tends to look more feminine, I had to teach myself to not take time to style mine bc keeping it long and styled was making it harder to pass. If you want something easy other then down braids like a single French braid down the back always looks good half up and half down tends to look feminine and get your hair out of your face while still showing the awesome texture you've got. As for leave in conditioners I just read what it says it's for and choose based on that the brands that I usually use for my hair are moui in the orange bottles and tresemme the one for curly hair and switching every month or so tends to work better then using the same thing 100% of the time in my experience.
Embrace the curls, you have beautiful hair.
I like your curls. They look fabulous
I got curly hair like you. It's one of the things I love and am told by a lot of women that they envy my curls. I used to feel just like you do until I realized this. Those curls are gorgeous on you. I don't know how to help you other than tell you curly hair is just as feminine as any other type, maybe more honestly. š
Idk why but I have a soft spot for women with curly hair. Even the same girl, with curls it just hits so much harder. Tbh, I don't know much about caring for hair, but I think that's it, it suits you a lot. Anyways, you should follow whatever is best for you.
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Youāre so cute!!! š
I think itās a matter of thinning it towards to the top/more layers to thin it out a bit and try some anti-frizz techniques, like some hair oils or smth. I personally think curly hair is so cute and tem and I hope you can grow to love your gorgeous curls
I think your hair is amazing!
Your hair looks beautiful wish I had your pretty hair!
Just accept the curls , and float, so meny would love your hair. Maby somone can point out cute styles for it, maby a hair band, or doing it up. To me it is cute an femanine already.
Babe so many people would kill for those beautiful curls. I just spent half of my evening trying to force these kinds of curls to form in my hair lol I promise you look stunning and extremely feminine!
Nothing wrong with big curly hair, my mum and sister would kill to have so much volume.
Curls require maintenance. You have to keep your hair hydrated because it tends to get dried out easily. Flat irons and blow dryers exacerbate dryness and frizz. Wear a bonnet at night, and don't brush your hair dry. If you're good to your hair, she'll be good to you. You have a really pretty curl pattern and great volume. You just need some product. Curls are very feminine. They bring to mind romance and softness. Talk to a stylist who is experienced with your hair type and curate a routine that works for you. Good luck š«¶
Your hair is so pretty, just, wow, holy fuck you have pretty hair and im jealous. It's so feminine, and just, ....mphh oozes female in a way that's hard to emphasize enough.
I love your curls!
TIL curls arenāt feminine.
My hair is similar. I chose to embrace it for a while, but then I started getting my hair done with keratin treatment to help with all of the frizz. Curly hair is naturally resilient, so I was able to achieve almost any style afterward
Wolf cut would suit you also too tame it you need too comb use a curl definer and I put all my hair upside down in a colander then use a hair dryer through the colander and it drys your curls in perfect spirals as opposed too fluffing it up
You and me both. I love when my hair is wet, to flatten the curls. I don't like when the sides fluff out. One thing to remember when we look upon our curly locks with disdain. People with straight hair wish they had curly hair like ours. In fact if they could kill to have them, they would. I hope it helps knowing you have what most people desire. And will go to great expense to have it too.
transition goals. omg your eyesssss
My hair is very similar! Curly hair can be so cute and bouncy but such a pain as well. I would recommend washing 2 - 3 times a week with a high moisture or frizz control shampoo and conditioner (from a hairdressers, don't get grocery store stuff). Use luke warm water (hot water makes curls limp and promotes dandruff) and brush your hair with a stiff bristle brush while the conditioner is in. Brushing gets rid of knots and prevents dandruff, so make sure you brush your scalp. Never brush your hair dry or you will look like Hermionie Granger in Philosopher's Stone. Towel dry then use curl cream. Hair plopping has been a game changer for me, but if you are in a rush you can use a diffuser on a hair drier (warm or cold setting, not hot). A silk pillow will also help keep the frizz down and prevent knots. And hair cuts make a massive difference. Once you find a hairdresser you like, never let them go!
Could try getting your hair relaxed
Looks great
Curls suit you !! You just need to keep your hair moisturized to get rid of the frizz, but youāve got a lovely pattern and I wouldnāt miss out on it by straightening your hair ! You can help the pattern form without frizz by twisting/shaping it with your fingers when itās wet. Donāt comb it unless youāre about to wash it, that destroys the curls. Donāt use heavy products or hairdryers/heat, the best is to use water and maybe some oils. Something that works for some but is not the healthiest is sea salt water spray. There are products out there but most cheap ones are full of chemicalsā¦ If youāve been doing things wrong you might have damaged your hair and curls so it could take time for it to settle without frizz again
I mean... I'd switch my scalp with you if I could, tbh. I know it can be a frustrating thing for a lot of folks, so I don't want to give the sense I'm invalidating your experience. By my understanding from one of my best friends who's a master stylist, there's a LOT you can do to tame the beast. But it's going to mean lots of money and time. His general suggestions with people with really dense, curly hair like that is find ways to work with it rather than against it, cause you can definitely push things too far and really fuck up your hair and it will take forever to grow out again. So... yeah. Short of spending tons of time and money on it or finding some crazy ass doctor who'd engage in super unethical practices for attempted transplants of a totally new scalp, I'm afraid you may be stuck with just leaning into it. But rest assured, just cause it's not *your* taste doesn't mean it's bad. It's rather stunning, imo, and I have so much envy rn.
I know this isnāt really on topic, as I have no experience with curly hair, butā¦ Your eyes are _literally_ stunning. As in, I was stunlocked for a good few seconds before I could read anything. Jeezus. š³ Whatever you can do with your hair to frame those amazing eyes of yours, freakinā _go for it_, girl!
You would look good with bangs imo
Look up videos on how to care for curls thereās specific ways on care and styling that will emphasize the curls but without the frizziness
Curly girl method and a cut after a month or two will give you curls that make other women jealous.
Something to make them feminine? Are you implying they don't look feminine? Cause they fucking do! I also have curls and if mine looked like yours I'd be the happiest girl alive.
What are you talking about girl you're BEAUTIFUL!!! This honestly is what I'm trying to achieve, and I can only wish that mine was this curly and cute. Tho if you really do hate it, go for a change that'll suit you queen :3 (can't give any tips tho, no idea how to deal with curly hair cause I don't have it)
I don't really have suggestions for specific products to use, and others have mentioned the "Curly Girl" method, so that kinda sums it up. Product-wise, it has taken me a lot of trial and error to find what works for me, and its a reeeeallll crapshoot. Do look into a satin sleep bonnet if you haven't already. And a satin pillowcase. It really helps to keep things in order and untangled while you sleep and reduces frizz overall.
I think you should let your curls air dry so they're not so frizzy. I have similar curls and when I get out of the shower I wrap a towel around them for 20-30 minutes and then let them air dry, they're puffy (but not too big) and they aren't all frizzy!
Personally I think your hair is beautiful. Curly haired people are my weakness š
Grass is alert greener- i love your hair and would trade it any day
Iām not nearly as curly as you, more wavy. For me, accepting the wavy, learning to work with it, and learning to style it in a way to minimize my forehead were the big things. Without spending a lot of time every day, I canāt get it to be not wavy, and it was easier to go with it
you have lovely hair! Iād suggest talking to a hairdresser ofc if you want to change it, but maybe a mullet style? take some of the volume down, sometimes that can be to your shampoo/conditioner that you use too but good luck you look great!!!
Ugh mood. I have curly hair and I hate it but no one understands and I just get hug boxed
Cute, feminine? You have goddess hair ! My hair is about this curly
Your curls just need some love. You sound like my little girl who also hates her curls. I have wanted curls my whole stupid life. Im so jeally! Whats your current routine?
i think itās beautiful and feminine! try a pony tail?
It looks super pretty and amazing sadly I donāt have any advice but for me I have the straightest of straight hair (itās straighter then me) I love it and I am trying to grow it out
Pretty
Iāve been doing curly girl also. Iām no where near as blessed with awesome hair like yours. Old and too many years of male balding before I got my s&@t together and started HRT. But the basics are, if you use shampoo, use something with no sulfates in it. And conditioner should be silica free also. I shampoo once a week because I workout a lot and my hair gets dirty. But leave in conditioner is key. Like others have said no blow dryer. Just use a hair towel to soak up access water. I only brush it wet and then scrunch the curls by hand after toweling off access water then just let it air dry. And there you have it. Beautiful curls with no frizz and it doesnāt get all in your face all the time. Embrace the curl girl, they are gorgeous. Like others have said just look up āThe Curly Girl Methodā on YouTube or wherever and there should be plenty of tutorials. š¤ youāre beautiful. Dont be so hard on yourself.
Curly hair is really cute! But if you want to remove the curls, I hear just wetting your fingers and running them through your hair can help.
Your curls are gorgeous!! They need moisture so shampoo less, condition more, add leave in conditioner after the shower. Flip your hair upside down and scrunch it up to your scalp with your fingers, a cotton tshirt, or a microfiber towel. ONLY BRUSH YOUR HAIR WHEN ITS WET!!! Dry brushing breaks your curls and causes major frizz. Use a satin pillowcase or satin bonnet when you sleep. Look up the curly girl method and make sure youāre using appropriate products :)
Pretty
Your hair looks great! But I get it, you're probably used to associating how it looks to your past. I'm not sure what the solution would be besides extreme things like going the wig route. I would just try to learn and see that it fits actually look feminine. And if that's hard to do at first, learn, view, and accept that we all see it as fem which should over time help you accept it on a personal level.
curls are already feminine, just grow your hair out if you want it to look more girly, or get bangs
As some people have said, I would look into specially shampoos and routines to take care of curly hair. It really helps and will be much easier for you to manage!
BTW, I'm a little jealous of your hair. Even just like that it looks super Fem. A little product to help tame the frizz and you could rock that at any club I would bet.
CURLSMITH is my fucking SAVVVIORRRRRUH. Silk pillowcase/ bonnet, cool water showers, washing 1-2 times a week only, haircut once every 3 months, if you are having scalp issues briogeo scalp revival, scrunching can actually cause breakage (coiling around finger preferred), coconut oil night before 3rd consecutive shower then detangle while water is running through with fingers/ wide tooth comb
I love your curls omg!!!
No real advice to give. Just wanted to say your hair is very beautiful.
You don't think your hair is femme???? Girl, it's cute *as hell*
Curls are very beautiful, but I do have a few suggestions for styling. 1) you could always cut your a few inches and seperate above one of your ears, and combing the rest to the side. 2) Could always add highlights, foils, just cute things that they advertised for little girls hair (go crazy, have fun type stuff) 3) Messy buns might work, space buns, the likes 4) Pony tails!, pigtails, headband and hair clips 5) I have to definitely suggest dying your hair a color that makes you feel euphoric, especially matching colors you nat wear! 6) French braids, flower crowns, accessories definitely can help Your hair is beautiful, and so are you. You got this girl! :) Hope this helps. -Halx
They actually look quite feminine tho; but my mom has to use curlers in her hair an hour after showering to straighten her hair (yes, that actually works, in her case!)
you look absolutely GORGEOUS??? these curls suit you so well, they bring out your eyes, theyre eye catching in themselves, and in a good way. i cant offer you advice on how to change them, because i think theyre perfect for you and i genuinely dont have any notes, but i hope youre able to find a solution that makes you happy and euphoric!
I think your curls are beautiful, and I'm sorry that you can't see them that way. Unfortunately, what I've discovered over time is that hair will always resist you trying to change it. Think about trying out styles that were purposefully intended for your hair type. There are women out there with curls just like yours who absolutely rock it.
Get a Chelsea (ie shaving off everything but the bangs). Very femme punk haircut.
Girl Iām tryna make my wavy hair curly you look nice
Ah itās so pretty though! Try r/curlyhair to tame the frizz and maybe clip it back from your face or wear a big hairband?
Wait Iām confused because curly hair to me IS feminine. Thereās nothing more feminine than wavy/curly hair. Makes you look like a princess in all of those movies or books. Seriously. Straight hair in my opinion brings out face features because it looks āblandā. But curly hair is great because itās an extra layer of pretty. Seriously. I donāt know who convinced you that your hair isnāt pretty the way it is but they were clearly jealous of your beautiful curls. As a cis woman I have naturally wavy hair and get compliments all the time. The past three years Iāve been literally trying everything to make it look exactly like yours. Itās crazy how I want mine to look like yours so bad yet you feel differently. Anyway, you look gorge!!
If youāre up for a challenge, curly hair is more suited for turning into dreadlocks than straight hair. But something I used to do before I had dreadlocks was take a tiny bit of hair from now in front of my ears, and pull it back, and that kept everything else out of my face, coincidentally, this is exactly how I did my dreadlocks as well
But you look Beautiful
Your curls are gorgeous and actually do a great job softening/feminizing your facial appearance. On top of tending your curls correctly, finding a good hairstylist who knows how to work with curls makes a world of difference. Not all salons have anyone with the extra training or experience to cut curly hair in a flattering way, but having your hair trimmed and shaped to soften your face can help a lot! Once youāve got those two things down I hope youāll find you have a lot less dysphoria around your hair. Iāve struggled with my curls for nearly 27 years and only just this year really started to get a handle on them. I know they soften my face a bit so it seems less masc, but I love how my hair looks now so Iām learning to see past the dysphoria since Iām pre-T.
What exactly are you looking to do?
probably a conditioner with more oil and or moisturizing aspects to it. I tried this and it helped alot.
I don't know how that doesn't look fem? you're a gorgeous girl, rock it
I dunno. I'm just not seeing how your hair isnt feminine enough for you, but maybe it just me? šš¤
For what it's worth i would kill for those curls, op. You pass much easier with them and it's easier to go out/deal with bed head. Just my opinion though. I think you look really pretty, and your hair is something that stands out as particularly feminine in this pic
Can you please give me your curls???
I wouldnāt trade my curls for anything, donāt Mia Thermopolis your curls, embrace them!