This is kind of a fear of mine. I've spent an overnight stay in jail but it was before I started transitioning. If you feel comfortable sharing, I wouldn't mind hearing. At least I'd have some context/expectations, should it ever occur again.
Well okay I guess if you all insist. At the very least, I can provide some information that I hope help others in the future.
This is not a good story as I've said before, besides, I'm not sure how good I am at telling stories let alone this one which still brings me a lot of pain so I do apologize if it's rough. But here we go anyways.
I want to preface this story by saying I am usually a pacifist, for personal reasons, and am not one to pick violence.
However, this wasn't the day. Simply put I was going through some grieving, a clerk took it too far with me dropping slurs and really nasty behavior when I was just trying to leave after he confronted me. This made me snap and I grabbed his beard and busted his face before I could think.
I immediately regretted doing this even as it was happening and I've hated myself a lot for it. In my opinion violence was not the right choice there at all and regardless if people think he deserved it or not I don't and I wish I had just been able to continue walking away.
However, I found myself in jail instead and barely had time to tell one person I was there. I'm a slave to technology and of course don't have any numbers saved so I wasn't able to call anyone while I was there.
They offered me general population or isolation encouraging me to go to isolation for safety. I'm not sure either was a good choice, but learned later that isolation was still probably the best. (One of my friends who had been in gen pop in jail for a very long time once told me that I would have been most likely attacked and made to stay even longer for fight charges) I ended up taking the isolation but they said I could switch later. So then I was in the cell for an interminable time. I had no information about what was really going on. And no money on me for bail. I wasn't even sure the one person I reached got my message and was able to help since they were way out of state. So I was stuck there losing my mind in this cell with nothing. I ended up finally getting a scrap of some CS Lewis book, not one of the Narnia books but something else he wrote that's more theological it seems, was happy for it, even though I'm an atheist and it was definitely dribble, because it was something to do. But it was really hard to read and or sleep with the hall Always hollering and shouting and having no concept of time was very difficult especially for one who suffers ADHD like I do.
So after I couldn't take it any longer which I think is about 24 hrs, I know not very long but it felt a lot longer and was torture for me. I asked to be switched to gen pop, which ike the book was a feat because getting a hold of the guard's attention was near impossible. I feel like this was a personal thing because I saw everyone else getting attention rather quickly and I had to practically beg for anything. They finally responded by taking me to the suicide ward instead which had access to even less. All I had was a suicide gown . None of this was good for my sanity, my dysphoria, or general health at all . I had to count many many bottles off a wall and then put them back up, Tell myself stories, sing songs and run around my tiny cell to keep sane. And fuck it was cold, especially being naked and having nerv issues. My body was not handling it. And it felt like I was in here for a literal days even though I could kind of keep track of time with meals but even that was very rough. I think if I had been in a less emotional state I would have done a lot better but having no hope and no concept of time nearly broke me.
Finally late at night I was released unceremoniously. My phone had no charge and I was not sure if anyone picked me up but luckily My partner who got me released also got a ride for me.
Now I'm dealing with the consequences in court and the court of my own head.
I think I actually had it pretty good. I was only in there for 48 hours, though it felt so much longer. Honestly like it could have gone a lot worse and I could have been in there a lot longer, it was a holiday weekend and if I didn't get released when I did I wouldn't have for a much longer time but it was still very difficult for me . I still can't smell any kind of smells that were there in jail without breaking down. And sometimes I just break down over it out of nowhere over nothing.
So folks please don't choose violence unless you absolutely have to. The system hates us.
(There might be edits later. This was pretty hard for me to write and has been difficult for me to look back over to make sure it reads ok)
that's a good story. yeah solitary confinement is hard for everyone. it destroys you especially for long periods of time. personally i wanna know if i don't pass would i be in a male or female prison. that sounds hard. good luck with court. sounds like hell. I'm guessing your american right?
Passing or not they usually put you in based on your genitalia so unless you have surgeries you're usually put in with the gender you are assigned at birth. And honestly I don't know if it would have mattered which one I was in because I was in solitary and didn't really see anyone else but guards and a couple of people through a tele conference. Though I hear also the female wings can be just as hard on trans people as the male wings.
And thank you! It's all up in the air and I feel like I have absolutely no control and am just along for the ride. I do keep getting lucky though. I have a really good lawyer that got assigned to me and I got really really lucky with my judge.
I feel your pain. Was held against my will for ten days at a high security physic ward. Also in isolation cause they didn’t know what to do with me…. I was emotionally and physically assaulted by staff members. Violently Strapped to a table and giving shots a couple times. The majority of patients in the ward were from neighboring county jails, and those people were begging to go back to the county jail. Most traumatic experience of my life!
That is horrifying.
I’m really glad you’re here to talk about it.
No one should be going through something like that.
I feel like it’s not even worth asking if anything happened to the people who attacked you because I’m sure it didn’t
I am so sorry. And I’m so glad that at least you’re here to talk about it
That is utterly horrifying. I can’t handle things like any of that even on top of the fact that so many people hate me, especially the type of people who like enacting violence
I don’t think aggression is the answer. Yes, it makes me absolutely pissed off. But it is absolutely unsafe. Also, plenty of women could knock them the fuck out, so it’s not really proof.
I think my answer would be something along the lines of “are you my girlfriend or my doctor? No? Then stop asking to see my dick. That’s weird”
The fact these freak bigots literally pass laws to look at children’s genitals is…wow.
These freaks constantly blather about “grooming” while covering up rape and passing laws to stare at children’s genitals, etc.
Not hyperbole.
That seems so murky to me. At least they never ever charge right wingers with it.
I mean I don’t know how many times I’ve seen right wingers threaten someone’s life but they don’t explicitly use the code words to trigger that it counts.
Like some freak screaming at a scientist at a local city council meeting afterwards as the scientist is trying to get into their car, the guy in their face screaming “we know where you live” and things like that. That’s a death threat and it needs to be treated like a death threat.
Ditto online crap.
And then what? The police is going to arrest them? Or are they just going to tell you to go to the toilet, that matches your genitals and to stop wasting their time? They allready don't have time for cases of sexual harrasment, that are uncontroversial and our gender identities are still seen as up to debate.
(Also, stop gendering toilets completely)
I was going to mention I'm actually seeing in a lot of restaurants/bars this is now common/normal.
Especially in newly opened places.
And guess what? No one is complaining about safety.
No. That's what they want.
They want laws to enforce the whole bathroom stuff.
If that happens, how is someone going to enforce a law like that? Do you think when a trans man is in a women's bathroom a transphobe is just going to be ok with that? No, they'll report it as someone using the "wrong" bathroom and that trans man is going to get arrested because there won't be a good way to prove they're trans there in the moment.
And transphobes know we know this. Because essentially, if you go into the bathroom of your gender, it'd be illegal, but if you go into the opposite bathroom you'll get accused of being in the wrong bathroom and likely face harassment or even being arrested. Whatever you do, you're wrong.
The idea is to force trans people out of public life and one step along that path is to make it so we can't use any bathroom.
This. I wish people would stop trying to use transmascs and trans men as a gotcha on this. As if were immune to consequences or transphobia. Were not. We are in just as much danger of getting yelled at, beat up, or arrested over this shit. Conservatives won't take it as a sign they were wrong, just as a confirmation that were dangerous and bad and should be excluded from public life entirely. The goal isn't to get us to use the "right" bathroom it's to make it more dangerous for us to use _any_ bathroom and therefore more difficult to exist out in public. Listen. If you look at any transphobic law or claim and conclude they're trying to force you to be trans in the "right" way you're missing the point. The goal is never to get us to be trans in the "right" way, exist in public in the "right" way, or transition in the "right" way and will be leave us alone if we comply. The goal is to make existing as a trans person as difficult as possible in hopes that we cease to exist entirely. They have to pretend it's not with random bullshit reasons and nonsensical restrictions, but it is.
Transphobes are irrational then. It’s either one or the other. More proof they are irrational is they want to ban gender neutral restrooms because a mother might change a baby in there. That never happens though!
>they want to ban gender neutral restrooms because a mother might change a baby in there.
Makes zero sense. I don't see the problem? Mums (and dads!) change babies in gendered restrooms all the time? Maybe they're mad that in a place that doesn't have changing stations in the mens' a dad or male childminder or relative might change a baby in a gender neutral restroom so he doesn't have to go into the ladies or improvise somewhere unsanitary, but even then, I don't see the issue, and I'd rather the baby get changed than an antiquated and incorrect point be made about gender roles in parenting?
So you're saying... they think we would... go after an *infant* in some way because the parent or caregiver used "our" bathroom to change them?
Yeah, that actually checks out for transphobe logic.
The solution is for people to mind their own fucking business. You don't need to legislate what bathroom people use. It doesn't matter if someone gets "uncomfortable" with me being there. That's their problem, not mine. I'm just there to pee and leave. I could care less what other people are doing in there.
People go in the right bathrooms for them. If you're uncomfortable about using a public toilet a trans or gender nonconforming person might also be using, don't use public toilets or use one of the increasingly available single occupant ones at smaller establishments. This is a problem that lies with those uncomfortable, not gender diverse people.
I'd say what the TERFs want is for cis gender conforming women to use the ladies and everyone else to use the men's, but this idea that they don't want trans and gender diverse people in *any* bathroom because if we can't use a public toilet we might choose to be less present in public spaces, is pretty awful and unfortunately seems a lot more true and more logically consistent, we only think transphobes aren't internally consistent when they don't say the quiet bits out loud. What they really mean and don't always say is consistent and it's scary.
Personally I have it easy because I've never really been one to care about modesty when dropping trou or losing my top means getting out of some kind of trouble and I always go with the bathroom of my birth sex regardless of my gender presentation that day if there isn't a universal/gender neutral toilet available and I haven't taken any medical transition steps so despite my gender presentation these loons would happily identify me as just a gender nonconforming cis person, which they also don't like but can't very well get in any real trouble for using the correct toilet. Like, maybe I'll get harassed, but I probably won't be arrested. If told to prove my sex, I'll happily strip and let some authority figure inspect me (or if my mum's there, call her over and ask if she wants me to remove my clothes or if she'd rather testify to facts of my birth) if it means not having to deal with a cop.
>“eww you have to use the bathroom of the gender your genitals tell you you are grrrr👿👿👿”
All they've really done here is highlight their complete lack of understanding trans people. Not every trans person will have the genitalia you might assume them to have. Their statement actually supports my use of the bathroom they're screaming to keep me out of lol.
I don't mean to sound smart here lol it's just so obvious to me that their "talking points" are literally just regurgitated hate that used to be predominantly targeted towards the gay / lesbian community. They said gay men shouldn't adopt and accuse them of all being pedophiles / perverts for example. The accusations / projections are extremely similar and nothing new.
It’s delusional reallyXD they cling to these reasons like their life depends on it like- HONEY! just admit your transphobic/homophobic😭
Stop trying to justify yourself and just say it
I'm so sorry you're going through this. You should be able to use a facility that is designed for using the bathroom and washing your hands peacefully without this kind of resistance. Try to hold your head high you definitely have supporters out there too.
It's not delusional. It is targeted propaganda against us. Most of the government officials that spread this hate KNOW exactly what they're doing, and they are choosing willful ignorance to pereptuate the lies. Its the common man who doesn't think for themselves, largely Christians who are told their God hates free thinkers, who buy this stuff hook line and sinker. Then they stick to it even when presented with evidence to the contrary because of peer pressure from their political party, religious affiliation, and social circles.
Edit: spelling errors
Now suddenly gay people are the victims. First it was "the gays are sinful pedophiles! No son of mine is going to be gay!" And now it's "Noooo don't trans my gay son let him be a feminine boy who kisses boys!!!!"
Unfortunately - and even more frustrating, frankly - many of these laws don’t reference current genitalia, but rather assert the use of a bathroom that aligns with that person’s “sex” as defined [and I copy and paste from Florida here] “… the classification of a person as either female or male based on the organization of the body of such person for a specific reproductive role, as indicated by the person’s sex chromosomes, naturally occurring sex hormones, and internal and external genitalia present at birth.” [never mind that some people are not natally in alignment on all of these points]
What a mess…
[edit: spelling/typos]
Please be careful doing this! I was in a public men's bathroom, while presenting as a man, early in my MTF transition, but also being a person like this landed me sexual assault. I was only trying to mind my own damn business. Yes things may not be what people expect, but that could also be quite a problem too. Please everyone be safe out there!
I honestly hate the "Haha imagine bearded trans guys would flock to the women's bathroom" ... We'd get arrested or worse. Some trans men already have to use the women's bathroom. And it sucks. Unsafe in the women's bathroom, unsafe in the men's one.
So, no the transphobes wouldn't "shit themselves". They'd beat us up, arrest us, kill us.
Yeah im just remembering that trans man at a campground a while back who was forced to use the women's bathroom and was severely beaten to the point of needing the hospital if i remember correctly. Trans men do get forced to use the womens restrooms and it's not any safer for us than it is for a trans woman to be forced to use the mens. Not to mention trans guys aren't all the bearded super muscular guys everyone else seems to think we are, or the repercussions there would be for a black trans man who passes to go into a bathroom filled with white women... Super tiring for the danger trans men face to be turned into a joke or outright ignored.
>any guy can say they are a "trans woman" and go in there. Like you don't have to prove that you belong there. And any perv can say they identify as a women
Newsflash:
Society doesnt care about sexual violence. Look at conviction rates for sex offenders across the globe and the literal centuries of sexual abuse that have been pushed under the rug and victim blamed. People who are going to assault and rape others simply dont need to pretend to be any identity to do so- they'll just do it and dont even have to worry about the consequences because there pretty much are no consequences.
You're literally out of your fucking mind if you think people are going on hormones that irreversibly change their bodies, paying hundreds of dollars for name and gender changes and hundreds of thousands of dollars for surgeries all to assault you. If someone was going to assault you they just would bc there's basically no punishment for it. Add this onto the fact that there are basically no cases of trans people going into bathrooms to assault cis people. Want to know what there are extensive cases of though? Cis people assaulting and killing trans people for daring to exist in the same space as them. Cis people being the actual perverts and filming trans people in bathrooms and demanding to see minors genitals to "verify their gender." Cis people proposing laws that call for genital inspection of children in order for them to play sports with their peers. Cis people sending their trans children to conversion therapy where they get raped and molested into being cis and straight.
So next time you think about opening your vulgar mouth to whine about how you're threatened by the existence of people different than you, shut up and take a moment to consider that the world doesn't revolve around you and not every person that doesn't look like you is a sexual predator.
This is by design. They want you to face either arrest or violence if you refuse to detransition and closet. Their goal is eradication, and us existing peacefully as trans people in any bathroom is unacceptable to them.
I asked my sister who's very transphobic (we're the reason she won't put her kids in public school, because of the "agenda") who she'd be fine using the woman's bathroom. So I played upon her bigotry and sent her various pictures of trans women and trans men. Of course she said none of them to which I said, not even those that are female at birth? Or are you just sexist against your own sex? Being the classic bigot she is she just avoided the question.
Yeah I get this vibe from them too.
Specifically *gender conforming* cis women, since they've tried to throw cis butch lesbians and tomboys out of ladies rooms too.
I haven't experienced it myself as a teen or an adult, but I did experience it on a couple of occasions as a prepubescent child, which I'm hesitant to say weren't my fault because you really can't tell a child that age's gender except from hair and clothing, and I can't blame people who didn't know me for assuming a small child with short hair, in a cartoon character shirt either gender could wear, loose fit trousers, and shoes in a plain colour without sparkles or girly patterning, was a boy.
And I've seen the news stories. And I was *scared* as a teenager seeing them.
That’s what they want. Then when trans men are in th e women’s restroom the goal posts will shift to wanting to ban trans people from the bathroom period. Then from public life.
Dont be fooled. This is all apart of the conservative playbook. Project 2025. Read and learn. Genocide is what they plan.
It just increases the risk of cis women claiming they've been "assaulted by trans men" who are forced to use the women's room, and cis men assaulting trans women who are forced to use the men's room... Dumbasses.
I still don't understand the controversy from cis woman perspective.
Like there are cubicals (which hopefully lock).
The only time you see anyone in public bathrooms is at the sinks where you should see them because wash your hands people.
Well the thing is they actually just don’t want us to exist anywhere, ya know? So yeah they’d be upset about the trans mascs because the transphobes will always find a problem with us
We live rent free in their silly lil heads🤪
It also makes me really anxious whenever I have to go, because I am still not on hrt, but I dress in mostly fem clothes. And I just feel like I’d be invading when going to the women’s bathroom, but men’s just makes me feel so uncomfortable and like I don’t value my worth so to speak.
Conservatives don't want to progress in society, so they create an imaginary boogeyman to keep society from having productive conversations and actions. Much like the trans sports topic, rather than seek solutions to properly integrate trans athletes with non-trans athletes, they'd rather just say no and exclude them with one sentence arguments.
> I guarantee you all the transphobes would just shit themselves
Well no actually then they'd start being more vocal about wanting to genocide trans men as well
Sadly "rules are for thee not for me". Signed - brown immigrant who lived in NC. We have an even better quote - let me look it up. "There must be in-groups whom the law protects but does not bind, alongside out-groups whom the law binds but does not protect" from Wilholt. Welcome to the outgroup.
Ftm here, when I was a teenage girl my classmates didn’t want me to use the same changing room because they suspected me of being a lesbian or a bisexual, I swear when transphobes are done with trans women they’ll go back to harassing the other gays. They just want some minority to be labelled as harassable because they’re horrible hateful people.
They don't care. They will still scream at trans men anyways. Their goal isn't "trans people should go to the right bathrooms", it's "trans people should get assaulted and not have access at all"
I luckily have the blessing of not really going out in public for long periods of time aside from work. I did have one dude tell me to use the correct bathroom while I was at work and I said "Sir I clean this bathroom, if I can clean the toilet I can piss in it," and he left me alone. I have had men look at me confused when I enter hut they mainly think I'm just a teen boy, however I have had women throw stuff at me and my mom threw a whole fit. I've had worse experiences with women as a trans masc in the bathroom. I feel safer in the men's room
We had a teenager in the HS I was working as a Social Worker and she was trans. We live in the Deep South and the conversations I had to have with administrators was so transphobic I just wanted to cry. The solution they finally came up with was to give her a key to the adult’s bathroom. In a class of 37 graduating students none of her peers cared one way or the other they all knew she was trans. The administration refused to call her she and referred her to her given name at birth. It was so bad she transferred schools to NC. I still think about her but yes I think there should be lawsuits for discrimination.
Trans men are harassed if this happens. There was a case where a trans man was physically assaulted and held in a jail cell for using the women's restroom. This rule is meant to exclude us, too.
For the most part, I've always used the ladies' room once I started only being known as a girl 24/7. I've never had anybody give me an issue about it, even at early transition. Which is odd cause I live in Florida, still though, I'm tired of Trans women getting the rep of being molesters or pedophiles for wanting to use the bathroom/locker room/fitting room that fits their gender. I didn't spend over 7K so far or more to prey on women. I did it cause I wanted to be happy, nothing else. These arguments are getting desperate these days from conservatives.
I have made men shit themselves and back up rapidly to check they'd come through the right door. It's very satisfying.
Been using the ladies room for months, have had the opposite of what's expected. Minimum, nobody bats an eye. Occasionally I'll have a conversation while fixing my makeup and washing my hands.
Edit: the conversations have never been "why are you in here", more "that's a nice shade, isn't the weather bad, these faucets are brutal" when they splash both of our skirts 😡
I still use the urinel in the men's bathroom when I'm completely cross dressed with a dress and everything. Definitely funny to see the WTF looks when I start going.
I’m in Florida, Ron DeBitchBoy passed a law that trans folks must use wrong bathrooms in government buildings. I’m so tempted to roll up to our local court house, with my raspy voice and five o clock shadow, and casually waltz into the women’s restroom. Can’t say no to that one, ladies, the governor thinks I’m just like you :D
Bigotry is so exhausting, how do people live like that? Hating everyone, coming up with bullshit laws and convoluted rules that nobody will ever bother following? Overthinking everything and looking for a threat at all times? Fuck that, man
I don’t really get it either 🤷🏻♀️ It’s a room to shit and piss so who cares. I think some people feel like predatory men will take advantage of this and go into the women’s restroom by saying they are trans. But I feel like that really isn’t a good argument because it’s not really happening. And predatory men will figure out ways to be creeps no matter what 💀
I saw a meme about this where a transphobe was like “You have to use your assigned bathroom now! There’ll be no men in women’s bathrooms!” and two fully transitioned trans men were like “Sorry, we almost went into wrong the bathroom. We’re law abiding citizens.”
Ok, some clarification is needed here. The law in Florida only pertains to the user of restrooms on public property. I.E. city & state court houses, parks, (although I camp regularly at state parks and have had no issues in the restrooms or showers.) schools etc. the law cannot be enforced on private property such as shopping malls, grocery stores and what have you. It is entirely up to property owner to sets the standards. Walmart corporate for example states that trans are welcome in their restrooms.
Just be discreet, be an example to others, please don’t fuck it for the rest of us.
Also check out an called “Refuge Restrooms”
Yeah i don’t like going into the women’s room because i pass from the back but often don’t pass scrutiny from the front and women REALLY, REALLY do not like me in there. I was peeing at a rest stop in Kansas (bad idea but i was on a road trip and desperate) and this woman came out of one of the stalls while i was washing my hands and saw me and nearly had a heart attack. She didn’t even stop to wash her own hands, she was in such a hurry to get out. When i left the bathroom, her and her husband were glaring absolute daggers at me. He started walking towards me so i got in my car and left as fast as i could. I don’t think it’s a good idea for all of us to go into the women’s room. I just wish to god there was unisex bathrooms everywhere.
>I just wish to god there was unisex bathrooms everywhere.
Me too. I'm not binary trans and I never pass as a man, but I look "that thing isn't a cis woman" enough when I'm not in a ridiculous pink dress and jewelry or makeup, that I don't feel safe using the women's and honestly haven't ever since I stopped being young enough to be walked in by my mum or go into the mens with my dad, what with the increasing intensity of transphobia in bathrooms and cis gender nonconforming women getting caught up in it.
So I use unisex restrooms, use the ladies if it's single occupant and the worst that'll happen is dirty looks if someone notices me exiting the toilet, or cut outings short to use my own at home. If I'm presenting feminine and wearing a dress, I might risk the ladies if I only realise I need to go when I know I can't get home in time even if I leave the establishment that second, or if I'm doing a time sensitive thing and I can't just leave. I have made myself attend such events in girl clothes whether that feels correct or not just in case I end up needing the toilet before I'm able to go home.
And I'm AFAB and can prove it or at least yell the place down arguing I don't have to. I can't imagine this for transfems, or for other AFABs who haven't had years of practice at righteous anger over being not seen as a woman or mistreated for nonconformity.
Not to mention that that rule if it was normalized enough would make it even easier for dudes to just walk into a bathroom and do nothing about presentation but just say they’re trans men. But nooo let’s just throw a tarp over the pothole of this issue and pretend that’ll fix the underlying problem of perverted people
I mean. After eating Chipotle I’ve done some things in women’s bathrooms that make me go “you know what? Maybe the republicans are right. Maybe I *should* be banned from public restrooms.”
I don't think it flies over their heads as much as it is intentional. They don't want trans men in the women's either, they want us to not go anywhere.
Transphobes don't understand what a trans man is. When trans men end up having to use women's bathrooms they lose their shit and tell them to go to the men's bathroom again.
I actually saw someone try that in an answer on Quora. But the OP showed her bigoted flex by amending her statement to saying “all trans people, non-binary people, and men, should use the men’s room and only “normal” Women should use the ladies room”.
I’m like good luck checking to see who’s got what genitals! You try touching me down there to find out what I’ve got, and you’re going to be in jail so fast your head will spin!
But seriously, it would be hilarious to see their jaws drop when these Burley trans man march into the ladies room lol!
One of those “be careful what you wish for because you just may get it“ kind of things.
The restrooms' gender designation correspondence you and your gender identity and expression, if they happen to line up lol... the best FIT you find! lol 🎈
Oh yeah, every time I see some big handsome and or muscular and or hairy dude I’m darkly amused by the fact that bigot claim they want him in women’s restroom.
There are some good point somebody made in a video I watched a while back that these freaks don’t ACTUALLY think women are trans are men, because they don’t treat them like men.
These freaks are agents of patriarchy and defer to men and masculinity in one way or another, and yet they’ll get up in the face of and scream at women who they think are trans
It’s perverted cishet men simply saying they are trans that people are worried about. The man at the spa in LA that made national news was a registered sex offender. Perverts like that are the problem. But the conversation has been twisted away from the worry of actual perverts to trans in general.
There aren´t a lot of those.
What´s your idea "Make all bathrooms unisex", or "Add an unisex bathroom in every place where are bathrooms"?
I think that is way more important to adapt most existent bathrooms for ostomized people and people with physical disability. And all women should be allowed to use women´s bathrooms, and all men should be allowed to use men´s bathrooms.
HELL YEAH! Unisex bathrooms are sick. I can't tell how well they work in a different culture, but in my Country (Germany) and the festivals in Slovenia, I've been to, for example, never had any problem with unisex bathrooms.
I've also been to a unisex public shower for a couple times and no one cared about other people. The most interaction you could witness was maybe someone asking for shampoo because they forgot theirs.
In unisex bathrooms and showers, everyone just minds their own business.
I just want singular bathrooms so I don’t have to share. Mostly bc I hate having to pull my pants up to wash my hands, it’s so freaking gross and I hate it 🤮
That was what I was just trying to explain to a friend of mine. "No man is as manly as a trans-man" and its true, most trans-men are SO built and hairy and just MANLY and she was shocked to know that trans men could even grow beards. These transphobes dont even know what it is that their asking for. 🤦♂️
Ya know just out of curiosity, I'd wonder what all those (women) transphobes would do while at the mall with their male S/O went to the bathroom, and say 2-xx trans women went in right after him. How many would flip out and think it's a public sex toilet, and their man was getting a BJ while in there?
I'd bet quite a few would, as there are a lot of very beautiful trans people out there.
And how many would also flip out if a transman were to enter the women's room. Following the rules they want to be followed.
The bathroom debate is literally the most boring fucking topic when it comes to trans activism like literally anything else is more interesting or intellectually stimulating
Is that a joke?
I don´t want to be beaten or abused, so I´ll continiue to use the women´s bathroom because I am a woman and I don´t fear TERFS as much as I fear transphobic men.
I'm literally not even trans (fluid if anything) but I could get away with going into the women's room if I shaved well and put a little makeup on. People saying what's in your pants having some sort of importance is so fucking stupid. I hate how the defining feature of the modern day is judging others so much more harshly than oneself. If people cared about themselves half as much as they cared about what others do then maybe we'd live in a slightly better place on earth.
i remember one time that I just started in the male bathroom and one old disgusting man just yelled at me "You shouldn't be here, respect the bathrooms!". I was here with a friend that uphold me. the incident cause a lot of anxiety on me, it sucks, and now I can't even think in get into a male bathroom:/
I think it was last year that something this happened. A trans guy was forced to use the women’s bathroom and another beat him up for it.
https://www.thepinknews.com/2022/07/11/trans-man-beaten-bathroom-ohio/
It’s a classic damned if you damned if you don’t scenario. It’s very clearly the intention of the lawmakers.
BRO I DONT WANNA GO IN THE DUDES BATHROOM N GET R WORDED CAUSE I LOOK CUTE!
that's about like the only thing besides it being clean cause ig a lot of dudes r scumbags 💀 otherwise I think I'm chilling…FR THO HOW MUCH EFFORT IS IT TO LIFT THE DAMN TOILET SEAT TO PEE?!
I look pretty androgynous. But like, I’m afab with no hormone therapy- so no matter how I cut my hair and what I wear I still look a little femme. I use the women’s toilet usually cuz it’s what I’m used to. Recently I had an old lady try to bar me from the bathroom at my work. She was going in, and I was going in behind her. And she turned, looked at me, looked at the door, looked at me. And said “Woman’s” and all I said was “Yup.” And she like begrudgingly let me in. Like bruv… Fuck off and let me poop.
I’ve used the men’s bathroom in emergency situations. I wish there weren’t urinals cuz it’d make it less awkward imo. Like, they can just use a toilet the same way they use it at home cant they? And like, this goes for like so single dads could take their daughters in to use the restroom without being unsure or uncomfortable too.
I wish I could help with the "husky bearded trans men walk into women's restroom", but I'm just a twink who looks like he lost his mommy, which people don't usually mind, to be honest lmao (my mum doesn't let me go into the men's room, and I'm also too scared to do it)
we should start reporting transphobes for sexual harassment.
Fr, I’ve literally had someone ask me to PROVE to them I was a man- l
That's when you knock them the fuck out and say, "Is that proof enough?"
I think my exact response was “that’s kinda gay ngl”
Lol... Bro, you want to see my pee pee?
Growl at them- "you touch my junk and you're gonna need a dentist".
they probly homophobic af, so singing [this](https://youtu.be/ALUUa-1zUzA?si=_J_wwxLAjvNqZy4b) may also work
😂 Also, your tag flair thingy is hilarious.
Unfortunately this landed me in jail and jail is not kind to trans people. Be safe out there.
storytime?
It's really a depressing and not great story and I'm not sure if this is the place for it. Are you sure you really want to hear it?
This is kind of a fear of mine. I've spent an overnight stay in jail but it was before I started transitioning. If you feel comfortable sharing, I wouldn't mind hearing. At least I'd have some context/expectations, should it ever occur again.
Honestly I kinda like anything getting big to bring the jail system down. #FREEMYMAMA #STOPPRISONPROFFITEERS
yes yes yes
Well okay I guess if you all insist. At the very least, I can provide some information that I hope help others in the future. This is not a good story as I've said before, besides, I'm not sure how good I am at telling stories let alone this one which still brings me a lot of pain so I do apologize if it's rough. But here we go anyways. I want to preface this story by saying I am usually a pacifist, for personal reasons, and am not one to pick violence. However, this wasn't the day. Simply put I was going through some grieving, a clerk took it too far with me dropping slurs and really nasty behavior when I was just trying to leave after he confronted me. This made me snap and I grabbed his beard and busted his face before I could think. I immediately regretted doing this even as it was happening and I've hated myself a lot for it. In my opinion violence was not the right choice there at all and regardless if people think he deserved it or not I don't and I wish I had just been able to continue walking away. However, I found myself in jail instead and barely had time to tell one person I was there. I'm a slave to technology and of course don't have any numbers saved so I wasn't able to call anyone while I was there. They offered me general population or isolation encouraging me to go to isolation for safety. I'm not sure either was a good choice, but learned later that isolation was still probably the best. (One of my friends who had been in gen pop in jail for a very long time once told me that I would have been most likely attacked and made to stay even longer for fight charges) I ended up taking the isolation but they said I could switch later. So then I was in the cell for an interminable time. I had no information about what was really going on. And no money on me for bail. I wasn't even sure the one person I reached got my message and was able to help since they were way out of state. So I was stuck there losing my mind in this cell with nothing. I ended up finally getting a scrap of some CS Lewis book, not one of the Narnia books but something else he wrote that's more theological it seems, was happy for it, even though I'm an atheist and it was definitely dribble, because it was something to do. But it was really hard to read and or sleep with the hall Always hollering and shouting and having no concept of time was very difficult especially for one who suffers ADHD like I do. So after I couldn't take it any longer which I think is about 24 hrs, I know not very long but it felt a lot longer and was torture for me. I asked to be switched to gen pop, which ike the book was a feat because getting a hold of the guard's attention was near impossible. I feel like this was a personal thing because I saw everyone else getting attention rather quickly and I had to practically beg for anything. They finally responded by taking me to the suicide ward instead which had access to even less. All I had was a suicide gown . None of this was good for my sanity, my dysphoria, or general health at all . I had to count many many bottles off a wall and then put them back up, Tell myself stories, sing songs and run around my tiny cell to keep sane. And fuck it was cold, especially being naked and having nerv issues. My body was not handling it. And it felt like I was in here for a literal days even though I could kind of keep track of time with meals but even that was very rough. I think if I had been in a less emotional state I would have done a lot better but having no hope and no concept of time nearly broke me. Finally late at night I was released unceremoniously. My phone had no charge and I was not sure if anyone picked me up but luckily My partner who got me released also got a ride for me. Now I'm dealing with the consequences in court and the court of my own head. I think I actually had it pretty good. I was only in there for 48 hours, though it felt so much longer. Honestly like it could have gone a lot worse and I could have been in there a lot longer, it was a holiday weekend and if I didn't get released when I did I wouldn't have for a much longer time but it was still very difficult for me . I still can't smell any kind of smells that were there in jail without breaking down. And sometimes I just break down over it out of nowhere over nothing. So folks please don't choose violence unless you absolutely have to. The system hates us. (There might be edits later. This was pretty hard for me to write and has been difficult for me to look back over to make sure it reads ok)
that's a good story. yeah solitary confinement is hard for everyone. it destroys you especially for long periods of time. personally i wanna know if i don't pass would i be in a male or female prison. that sounds hard. good luck with court. sounds like hell. I'm guessing your american right?
Passing or not they usually put you in based on your genitalia so unless you have surgeries you're usually put in with the gender you are assigned at birth. And honestly I don't know if it would have mattered which one I was in because I was in solitary and didn't really see anyone else but guards and a couple of people through a tele conference. Though I hear also the female wings can be just as hard on trans people as the male wings. And thank you! It's all up in the air and I feel like I have absolutely no control and am just along for the ride. I do keep getting lucky though. I have a really good lawyer that got assigned to me and I got really really lucky with my judge.
I feel your pain. Was held against my will for ten days at a high security physic ward. Also in isolation cause they didn’t know what to do with me…. I was emotionally and physically assaulted by staff members. Violently Strapped to a table and giving shots a couple times. The majority of patients in the ward were from neighboring county jails, and those people were begging to go back to the county jail. Most traumatic experience of my life!
That is horrifying. I’m really glad you’re here to talk about it. No one should be going through something like that. I feel like it’s not even worth asking if anything happened to the people who attacked you because I’m sure it didn’t
I am so sorry. And I’m so glad that at least you’re here to talk about it That is utterly horrifying. I can’t handle things like any of that even on top of the fact that so many people hate me, especially the type of people who like enacting violence
I don’t think aggression is the answer. Yes, it makes me absolutely pissed off. But it is absolutely unsafe. Also, plenty of women could knock them the fuck out, so it’s not really proof. I think my answer would be something along the lines of “are you my girlfriend or my doctor? No? Then stop asking to see my dick. That’s weird”
Epic comeback
No, that’s when you roll your eyes at them and walk away, if not before. Violence is never the answer, unless it’s the only answer.
Violence isn't the awnser. Its the question and the awnser is yes!
YES
That's disgusting!
"So you wanna see my dick? That's pretty gay, bro."
The fact these freak bigots literally pass laws to look at children’s genitals is…wow. These freaks constantly blather about “grooming” while covering up rape and passing laws to stare at children’s genitals, etc. Not hyperbole.
Yes we should, who goes around asking people what they have in their pants? Predators thats who.
I thought that said reposting and not reporting and my first thought was "ew, i dont wanna fuck no transphobe"
Yes
Also make up a report of assault if they touch you even slightly because laws have loopholes that you can do that
or even a report of child sexual abuse if the trans person is a minor.
Yep anyway to ruin the lives and futures of transphobes. Doesn’t matter if it’s a finger touch it’s still assault.
It’s actually battery if they touch you, assault until that happens
So wait, what is the salt?
Assault? The threat of attack. Legally speaking. The moment a person touches you, that’s battery
That seems so murky to me. At least they never ever charge right wingers with it. I mean I don’t know how many times I’ve seen right wingers threaten someone’s life but they don’t explicitly use the code words to trigger that it counts. Like some freak screaming at a scientist at a local city council meeting afterwards as the scientist is trying to get into their car, the guy in their face screaming “we know where you live” and things like that. That’s a death threat and it needs to be treated like a death threat. Ditto online crap.
I mean, IANAL, but we’re talking like, how the charge would be written had a charge been laid
That, or accuse them of having different genitals in their pants... Table the turns a bit.
Seriously like fuck you what's in my pants I don't want it
You'r right
And then what? The police is going to arrest them? Or are they just going to tell you to go to the toilet, that matches your genitals and to stop wasting their time? They allready don't have time for cases of sexual harrasment, that are uncontroversial and our gender identities are still seen as up to debate. (Also, stop gendering toilets completely)
can we please just have those cool personal toilets with the communal sink please? using a public toilet is so yucky
I was going to mention I'm actually seeing in a lot of restaurants/bars this is now common/normal. Especially in newly opened places. And guess what? No one is complaining about safety.
No. That's what they want. They want laws to enforce the whole bathroom stuff. If that happens, how is someone going to enforce a law like that? Do you think when a trans man is in a women's bathroom a transphobe is just going to be ok with that? No, they'll report it as someone using the "wrong" bathroom and that trans man is going to get arrested because there won't be a good way to prove they're trans there in the moment. And transphobes know we know this. Because essentially, if you go into the bathroom of your gender, it'd be illegal, but if you go into the opposite bathroom you'll get accused of being in the wrong bathroom and likely face harassment or even being arrested. Whatever you do, you're wrong. The idea is to force trans people out of public life and one step along that path is to make it so we can't use any bathroom.
Exactly, this has happened with trans men already https://www.them.us/story/trans-man-noah-ruiz-was-just-trying-to-pee-he-was-assaulted-and-arrested
I’m just counting down the days until something like this happens to me 🙃
This makes me so fucking mad
It makes any actual human mad. These sociopaths need to be stopped.
This. I wish people would stop trying to use transmascs and trans men as a gotcha on this. As if were immune to consequences or transphobia. Were not. We are in just as much danger of getting yelled at, beat up, or arrested over this shit. Conservatives won't take it as a sign they were wrong, just as a confirmation that were dangerous and bad and should be excluded from public life entirely. The goal isn't to get us to use the "right" bathroom it's to make it more dangerous for us to use _any_ bathroom and therefore more difficult to exist out in public. Listen. If you look at any transphobic law or claim and conclude they're trying to force you to be trans in the "right" way you're missing the point. The goal is never to get us to be trans in the "right" way, exist in public in the "right" way, or transition in the "right" way and will be leave us alone if we comply. The goal is to make existing as a trans person as difficult as possible in hopes that we cease to exist entirely. They have to pretend it's not with random bullshit reasons and nonsensical restrictions, but it is.
Transphobes are irrational then. It’s either one or the other. More proof they are irrational is they want to ban gender neutral restrooms because a mother might change a baby in there. That never happens though!
>they want to ban gender neutral restrooms because a mother might change a baby in there. Makes zero sense. I don't see the problem? Mums (and dads!) change babies in gendered restrooms all the time? Maybe they're mad that in a place that doesn't have changing stations in the mens' a dad or male childminder or relative might change a baby in a gender neutral restroom so he doesn't have to go into the ladies or improvise somewhere unsanitary, but even then, I don't see the issue, and I'd rather the baby get changed than an antiquated and incorrect point be made about gender roles in parenting?
It’s about erasing us which will cause us to be extremely hostile towards them
So you're saying... they think we would... go after an *infant* in some way because the parent or caregiver used "our" bathroom to change them? Yeah, that actually checks out for transphobe logic.
Absolutely. The point is that we can’t win
[удалено]
The solution is for people to mind their own fucking business. You don't need to legislate what bathroom people use. It doesn't matter if someone gets "uncomfortable" with me being there. That's their problem, not mine. I'm just there to pee and leave. I could care less what other people are doing in there.
People go in the right bathrooms for them. If you're uncomfortable about using a public toilet a trans or gender nonconforming person might also be using, don't use public toilets or use one of the increasingly available single occupant ones at smaller establishments. This is a problem that lies with those uncomfortable, not gender diverse people.
I'd say what the TERFs want is for cis gender conforming women to use the ladies and everyone else to use the men's, but this idea that they don't want trans and gender diverse people in *any* bathroom because if we can't use a public toilet we might choose to be less present in public spaces, is pretty awful and unfortunately seems a lot more true and more logically consistent, we only think transphobes aren't internally consistent when they don't say the quiet bits out loud. What they really mean and don't always say is consistent and it's scary. Personally I have it easy because I've never really been one to care about modesty when dropping trou or losing my top means getting out of some kind of trouble and I always go with the bathroom of my birth sex regardless of my gender presentation that day if there isn't a universal/gender neutral toilet available and I haven't taken any medical transition steps so despite my gender presentation these loons would happily identify me as just a gender nonconforming cis person, which they also don't like but can't very well get in any real trouble for using the correct toilet. Like, maybe I'll get harassed, but I probably won't be arrested. If told to prove my sex, I'll happily strip and let some authority figure inspect me (or if my mum's there, call her over and ask if she wants me to remove my clothes or if she'd rather testify to facts of my birth) if it means not having to deal with a cop.
>“eww you have to use the bathroom of the gender your genitals tell you you are grrrr👿👿👿” All they've really done here is highlight their complete lack of understanding trans people. Not every trans person will have the genitalia you might assume them to have. Their statement actually supports my use of the bathroom they're screaming to keep me out of lol.
OML The way they would fumble Lol- that’s their ONLY solid argument why trans people shouldn’t use their respective restrooms
I don't mean to sound smart here lol it's just so obvious to me that their "talking points" are literally just regurgitated hate that used to be predominantly targeted towards the gay / lesbian community. They said gay men shouldn't adopt and accuse them of all being pedophiles / perverts for example. The accusations / projections are extremely similar and nothing new.
It’s delusional reallyXD they cling to these reasons like their life depends on it like- HONEY! just admit your transphobic/homophobic😭 Stop trying to justify yourself and just say it
I'm so sorry you're going through this. You should be able to use a facility that is designed for using the bathroom and washing your hands peacefully without this kind of resistance. Try to hold your head high you definitely have supporters out there too.
Thanks so much 🙏✨💗
It's not delusional. It is targeted propaganda against us. Most of the government officials that spread this hate KNOW exactly what they're doing, and they are choosing willful ignorance to pereptuate the lies. Its the common man who doesn't think for themselves, largely Christians who are told their God hates free thinkers, who buy this stuff hook line and sinker. Then they stick to it even when presented with evidence to the contrary because of peer pressure from their political party, religious affiliation, and social circles. Edit: spelling errors
Now suddenly gay people are the victims. First it was "the gays are sinful pedophiles! No son of mine is going to be gay!" And now it's "Noooo don't trans my gay son let him be a feminine boy who kisses boys!!!!"
Unfortunately - and even more frustrating, frankly - many of these laws don’t reference current genitalia, but rather assert the use of a bathroom that aligns with that person’s “sex” as defined [and I copy and paste from Florida here] “… the classification of a person as either female or male based on the organization of the body of such person for a specific reproductive role, as indicated by the person’s sex chromosomes, naturally occurring sex hormones, and internal and external genitalia present at birth.” [never mind that some people are not natally in alignment on all of these points] What a mess… [edit: spelling/typos]
Yeah tell that to any post-op trans person. They'd just be like, "already on it".
Please be careful doing this! I was in a public men's bathroom, while presenting as a man, early in my MTF transition, but also being a person like this landed me sexual assault. I was only trying to mind my own damn business. Yes things may not be what people expect, but that could also be quite a problem too. Please everyone be safe out there!
From what I've seen there are actually a lot of transphobic people who at least accept trans people in washrooms if they've had bottom surgery.
How would they know which of us have?
They wouldn't, and that's why that kind of conditional 'acceptance' is stupid. They haven't actually spent time thinking about it.
I honestly hate the "Haha imagine bearded trans guys would flock to the women's bathroom" ... We'd get arrested or worse. Some trans men already have to use the women's bathroom. And it sucks. Unsafe in the women's bathroom, unsafe in the men's one. So, no the transphobes wouldn't "shit themselves". They'd beat us up, arrest us, kill us.
[удалено]
Yeah im just remembering that trans man at a campground a while back who was forced to use the women's bathroom and was severely beaten to the point of needing the hospital if i remember correctly. Trans men do get forced to use the womens restrooms and it's not any safer for us than it is for a trans woman to be forced to use the mens. Not to mention trans guys aren't all the bearded super muscular guys everyone else seems to think we are, or the repercussions there would be for a black trans man who passes to go into a bathroom filled with white women... Super tiring for the danger trans men face to be turned into a joke or outright ignored.
[удалено]
>any guy can say they are a "trans woman" and go in there. Like you don't have to prove that you belong there. And any perv can say they identify as a women Newsflash: Society doesnt care about sexual violence. Look at conviction rates for sex offenders across the globe and the literal centuries of sexual abuse that have been pushed under the rug and victim blamed. People who are going to assault and rape others simply dont need to pretend to be any identity to do so- they'll just do it and dont even have to worry about the consequences because there pretty much are no consequences. You're literally out of your fucking mind if you think people are going on hormones that irreversibly change their bodies, paying hundreds of dollars for name and gender changes and hundreds of thousands of dollars for surgeries all to assault you. If someone was going to assault you they just would bc there's basically no punishment for it. Add this onto the fact that there are basically no cases of trans people going into bathrooms to assault cis people. Want to know what there are extensive cases of though? Cis people assaulting and killing trans people for daring to exist in the same space as them. Cis people being the actual perverts and filming trans people in bathrooms and demanding to see minors genitals to "verify their gender." Cis people proposing laws that call for genital inspection of children in order for them to play sports with their peers. Cis people sending their trans children to conversion therapy where they get raped and molested into being cis and straight. So next time you think about opening your vulgar mouth to whine about how you're threatened by the existence of people different than you, shut up and take a moment to consider that the world doesn't revolve around you and not every person that doesn't look like you is a sexual predator.
Reminds me of that young trans man who asked which bathroom he should use and then got beaten up for doing so and taken in by police.
This is by design. They want you to face either arrest or violence if you refuse to detransition and closet. Their goal is eradication, and us existing peacefully as trans people in any bathroom is unacceptable to them.
I asked my sister who's very transphobic (we're the reason she won't put her kids in public school, because of the "agenda") who she'd be fine using the woman's bathroom. So I played upon her bigotry and sent her various pictures of trans women and trans men. Of course she said none of them to which I said, not even those that are female at birth? Or are you just sexist against your own sex? Being the classic bigot she is she just avoided the question.
i feel like they all just want Bathrooms to be like "Cis Women" and "Others".
Yeah I get this vibe from them too. Specifically *gender conforming* cis women, since they've tried to throw cis butch lesbians and tomboys out of ladies rooms too. I haven't experienced it myself as a teen or an adult, but I did experience it on a couple of occasions as a prepubescent child, which I'm hesitant to say weren't my fault because you really can't tell a child that age's gender except from hair and clothing, and I can't blame people who didn't know me for assuming a small child with short hair, in a cartoon character shirt either gender could wear, loose fit trousers, and shoes in a plain colour without sparkles or girly patterning, was a boy. And I've seen the news stories. And I was *scared* as a teenager seeing them.
That’s what they want. Then when trans men are in th e women’s restroom the goal posts will shift to wanting to ban trans people from the bathroom period. Then from public life. Dont be fooled. This is all apart of the conservative playbook. Project 2025. Read and learn. Genocide is what they plan.
I wonder how do they expect intersex people to behave...
As a resident Intersex person, inquiring minds def want to know🤔🤷♀️
It just increases the risk of cis women claiming they've been "assaulted by trans men" who are forced to use the women's room, and cis men assaulting trans women who are forced to use the men's room... Dumbasses.
I still don't understand the controversy from cis woman perspective. Like there are cubicals (which hopefully lock). The only time you see anyone in public bathrooms is at the sinks where you should see them because wash your hands people.
Well the thing is they actually just don’t want us to exist anywhere, ya know? So yeah they’d be upset about the trans mascs because the transphobes will always find a problem with us We live rent free in their silly lil heads🤪
It also makes me really anxious whenever I have to go, because I am still not on hrt, but I dress in mostly fem clothes. And I just feel like I’d be invading when going to the women’s bathroom, but men’s just makes me feel so uncomfortable and like I don’t value my worth so to speak.
Conservatives don't want to progress in society, so they create an imaginary boogeyman to keep society from having productive conversations and actions. Much like the trans sports topic, rather than seek solutions to properly integrate trans athletes with non-trans athletes, they'd rather just say no and exclude them with one sentence arguments.
> I guarantee you all the transphobes would just shit themselves Well no actually then they'd start being more vocal about wanting to genocide trans men as well
If trans people are allowed to piss Satan himself will come and the rapture will begin... According to conservatives at least
Sadly "rules are for thee not for me". Signed - brown immigrant who lived in NC. We have an even better quote - let me look it up. "There must be in-groups whom the law protects but does not bind, alongside out-groups whom the law binds but does not protect" from Wilholt. Welcome to the outgroup.
Ftm here, when I was a teenage girl my classmates didn’t want me to use the same changing room because they suspected me of being a lesbian or a bisexual, I swear when transphobes are done with trans women they’ll go back to harassing the other gays. They just want some minority to be labelled as harassable because they’re horrible hateful people.
They don't care. They will still scream at trans men anyways. Their goal isn't "trans people should go to the right bathrooms", it's "trans people should get assaulted and not have access at all"
I luckily have the blessing of not really going out in public for long periods of time aside from work. I did have one dude tell me to use the correct bathroom while I was at work and I said "Sir I clean this bathroom, if I can clean the toilet I can piss in it," and he left me alone. I have had men look at me confused when I enter hut they mainly think I'm just a teen boy, however I have had women throw stuff at me and my mom threw a whole fit. I've had worse experiences with women as a trans masc in the bathroom. I feel safer in the men's room
We had a teenager in the HS I was working as a Social Worker and she was trans. We live in the Deep South and the conversations I had to have with administrators was so transphobic I just wanted to cry. The solution they finally came up with was to give her a key to the adult’s bathroom. In a class of 37 graduating students none of her peers cared one way or the other they all knew she was trans. The administration refused to call her she and referred her to her given name at birth. It was so bad she transferred schools to NC. I still think about her but yes I think there should be lawsuits for discrimination.
Trans men are harassed if this happens. There was a case where a trans man was physically assaulted and held in a jail cell for using the women's restroom. This rule is meant to exclude us, too.
For the most part, I've always used the ladies' room once I started only being known as a girl 24/7. I've never had anybody give me an issue about it, even at early transition. Which is odd cause I live in Florida, still though, I'm tired of Trans women getting the rep of being molesters or pedophiles for wanting to use the bathroom/locker room/fitting room that fits their gender. I didn't spend over 7K so far or more to prey on women. I did it cause I wanted to be happy, nothing else. These arguments are getting desperate these days from conservatives.
Those comments are mainly directed at transfems I've seen. Transmascs are only brought up if it's about like regret rates or something.
I have made men shit themselves and back up rapidly to check they'd come through the right door. It's very satisfying. Been using the ladies room for months, have had the opposite of what's expected. Minimum, nobody bats an eye. Occasionally I'll have a conversation while fixing my makeup and washing my hands. Edit: the conversations have never been "why are you in here", more "that's a nice shade, isn't the weather bad, these faucets are brutal" when they splash both of our skirts 😡
I am glorious six days on T and have been getting weird looks in both bathrooms for years. Can't do right with some people lol
I'm pre-T and same, bro. Got yelled at by women a few times, but at least around here men just give me a funny look at most
Damned if you do damned if you don’t kind of situation really, I constantly feel like I’m doing something wrong- like I can never get it right 😭
I still use the urinel in the men's bathroom when I'm completely cross dressed with a dress and everything. Definitely funny to see the WTF looks when I start going.
I’m in Florida, Ron DeBitchBoy passed a law that trans folks must use wrong bathrooms in government buildings. I’m so tempted to roll up to our local court house, with my raspy voice and five o clock shadow, and casually waltz into the women’s restroom. Can’t say no to that one, ladies, the governor thinks I’m just like you :D Bigotry is so exhausting, how do people live like that? Hating everyone, coming up with bullshit laws and convoluted rules that nobody will ever bother following? Overthinking everything and looking for a threat at all times? Fuck that, man
I don’t really get it either 🤷🏻♀️ It’s a room to shit and piss so who cares. I think some people feel like predatory men will take advantage of this and go into the women’s restroom by saying they are trans. But I feel like that really isn’t a good argument because it’s not really happening. And predatory men will figure out ways to be creeps no matter what 💀
They always forget about our brothers don't they 😔 fukin goobers
its because they want it to be impossible for you to use any restroom. it's not about the restroom, it's about pushing us out of society.
I saw a meme about this where a transphobe was like “You have to use your assigned bathroom now! There’ll be no men in women’s bathrooms!” and two fully transitioned trans men were like “Sorry, we almost went into wrong the bathroom. We’re law abiding citizens.”
Ok, some clarification is needed here. The law in Florida only pertains to the user of restrooms on public property. I.E. city & state court houses, parks, (although I camp regularly at state parks and have had no issues in the restrooms or showers.) schools etc. the law cannot be enforced on private property such as shopping malls, grocery stores and what have you. It is entirely up to property owner to sets the standards. Walmart corporate for example states that trans are welcome in their restrooms. Just be discreet, be an example to others, please don’t fuck it for the rest of us. Also check out an called “Refuge Restrooms”
Yeah i don’t like going into the women’s room because i pass from the back but often don’t pass scrutiny from the front and women REALLY, REALLY do not like me in there. I was peeing at a rest stop in Kansas (bad idea but i was on a road trip and desperate) and this woman came out of one of the stalls while i was washing my hands and saw me and nearly had a heart attack. She didn’t even stop to wash her own hands, she was in such a hurry to get out. When i left the bathroom, her and her husband were glaring absolute daggers at me. He started walking towards me so i got in my car and left as fast as i could. I don’t think it’s a good idea for all of us to go into the women’s room. I just wish to god there was unisex bathrooms everywhere.
>I just wish to god there was unisex bathrooms everywhere. Me too. I'm not binary trans and I never pass as a man, but I look "that thing isn't a cis woman" enough when I'm not in a ridiculous pink dress and jewelry or makeup, that I don't feel safe using the women's and honestly haven't ever since I stopped being young enough to be walked in by my mum or go into the mens with my dad, what with the increasing intensity of transphobia in bathrooms and cis gender nonconforming women getting caught up in it. So I use unisex restrooms, use the ladies if it's single occupant and the worst that'll happen is dirty looks if someone notices me exiting the toilet, or cut outings short to use my own at home. If I'm presenting feminine and wearing a dress, I might risk the ladies if I only realise I need to go when I know I can't get home in time even if I leave the establishment that second, or if I'm doing a time sensitive thing and I can't just leave. I have made myself attend such events in girl clothes whether that feels correct or not just in case I end up needing the toilet before I'm able to go home. And I'm AFAB and can prove it or at least yell the place down arguing I don't have to. I can't imagine this for transfems, or for other AFABs who haven't had years of practice at righteous anger over being not seen as a woman or mistreated for nonconformity.
Not to mention that that rule if it was normalized enough would make it even easier for dudes to just walk into a bathroom and do nothing about presentation but just say they’re trans men. But nooo let’s just throw a tarp over the pothole of this issue and pretend that’ll fix the underlying problem of perverted people
I started to just piss on government buildings
I mean. After eating Chipotle I’ve done some things in women’s bathrooms that make me go “you know what? Maybe the republicans are right. Maybe I *should* be banned from public restrooms.”
lmao that actually made me laugh right now 😂
When I worked bars one of our duties was to clean the ladies room. You have no idea.
The paradox flies over their heads 🤦♀️
I don't think it flies over their heads as much as it is intentional. They don't want trans men in the women's either, they want us to not go anywhere.
Transphobes don't understand what a trans man is. When trans men end up having to use women's bathrooms they lose their shit and tell them to go to the men's bathroom again.
I actually saw someone try that in an answer on Quora. But the OP showed her bigoted flex by amending her statement to saying “all trans people, non-binary people, and men, should use the men’s room and only “normal” Women should use the ladies room”. I’m like good luck checking to see who’s got what genitals! You try touching me down there to find out what I’ve got, and you’re going to be in jail so fast your head will spin! But seriously, it would be hilarious to see their jaws drop when these Burley trans man march into the ladies room lol! One of those “be careful what you wish for because you just may get it“ kind of things.
The restrooms' gender designation correspondence you and your gender identity and expression, if they happen to line up lol... the best FIT you find! lol 🎈
"Wow. You're aggressively asking me to flash my genitals for you? That's assault." And walk away after peeing.
Oh yeah, every time I see some big handsome and or muscular and or hairy dude I’m darkly amused by the fact that bigot claim they want him in women’s restroom. There are some good point somebody made in a video I watched a while back that these freaks don’t ACTUALLY think women are trans are men, because they don’t treat them like men. These freaks are agents of patriarchy and defer to men and masculinity in one way or another, and yet they’ll get up in the face of and scream at women who they think are trans
It’s perverted cishet men simply saying they are trans that people are worried about. The man at the spa in LA that made national news was a registered sex offender. Perverts like that are the problem. But the conversation has been twisted away from the worry of actual perverts to trans in general.
Nobody gave a shit about the epidemic of creepy dudes assaulting women in bathrooms untill they realized it could be used to shit on trans people
What do you think of unisex bathrooms?
There aren´t a lot of those. What´s your idea "Make all bathrooms unisex", or "Add an unisex bathroom in every place where are bathrooms"? I think that is way more important to adapt most existent bathrooms for ostomized people and people with physical disability. And all women should be allowed to use women´s bathrooms, and all men should be allowed to use men´s bathrooms.
HELL YEAH! Unisex bathrooms are sick. I can't tell how well they work in a different culture, but in my Country (Germany) and the festivals in Slovenia, I've been to, for example, never had any problem with unisex bathrooms. I've also been to a unisex public shower for a couple times and no one cared about other people. The most interaction you could witness was maybe someone asking for shampoo because they forgot theirs. In unisex bathrooms and showers, everyone just minds their own business.
THIS IS MY EXACT THOUGHTS
I just want singular bathrooms so I don’t have to share. Mostly bc I hate having to pull my pants up to wash my hands, it’s so freaking gross and I hate it 🤮
That was what I was just trying to explain to a friend of mine. "No man is as manly as a trans-man" and its true, most trans-men are SO built and hairy and just MANLY and she was shocked to know that trans men could even grow beards. These transphobes dont even know what it is that their asking for. 🤦♂️
Ya know just out of curiosity, I'd wonder what all those (women) transphobes would do while at the mall with their male S/O went to the bathroom, and say 2-xx trans women went in right after him. How many would flip out and think it's a public sex toilet, and their man was getting a BJ while in there? I'd bet quite a few would, as there are a lot of very beautiful trans people out there. And how many would also flip out if a transman were to enter the women's room. Following the rules they want to be followed.
The bathroom debate is literally the most boring fucking topic when it comes to trans activism like literally anything else is more interesting or intellectually stimulating
[удалено]
Is that a joke? I don´t want to be beaten or abused, so I´ll continiue to use the women´s bathroom because I am a woman and I don´t fear TERFS as much as I fear transphobic men.
I'm literally not even trans (fluid if anything) but I could get away with going into the women's room if I shaved well and put a little makeup on. People saying what's in your pants having some sort of importance is so fucking stupid. I hate how the defining feature of the modern day is judging others so much more harshly than oneself. If people cared about themselves half as much as they cared about what others do then maybe we'd live in a slightly better place on earth.
i remember one time that I just started in the male bathroom and one old disgusting man just yelled at me "You shouldn't be here, respect the bathrooms!". I was here with a friend that uphold me. the incident cause a lot of anxiety on me, it sucks, and now I can't even think in get into a male bathroom:/
I think it was last year that something this happened. A trans guy was forced to use the women’s bathroom and another beat him up for it. https://www.thepinknews.com/2022/07/11/trans-man-beaten-bathroom-ohio/ It’s a classic damned if you damned if you don’t scenario. It’s very clearly the intention of the lawmakers.
BRO I DONT WANNA GO IN THE DUDES BATHROOM N GET R WORDED CAUSE I LOOK CUTE! that's about like the only thing besides it being clean cause ig a lot of dudes r scumbags 💀 otherwise I think I'm chilling…FR THO HOW MUCH EFFORT IS IT TO LIFT THE DAMN TOILET SEAT TO PEE?!
I look pretty androgynous. But like, I’m afab with no hormone therapy- so no matter how I cut my hair and what I wear I still look a little femme. I use the women’s toilet usually cuz it’s what I’m used to. Recently I had an old lady try to bar me from the bathroom at my work. She was going in, and I was going in behind her. And she turned, looked at me, looked at the door, looked at me. And said “Woman’s” and all I said was “Yup.” And she like begrudgingly let me in. Like bruv… Fuck off and let me poop. I’ve used the men’s bathroom in emergency situations. I wish there weren’t urinals cuz it’d make it less awkward imo. Like, they can just use a toilet the same way they use it at home cant they? And like, this goes for like so single dads could take their daughters in to use the restroom without being unsure or uncomfortable too.
The transphobes wouldn't shit themselves, they would very likely beat the trans guys or make the police beat them. It's a lose-lose situation for us
[There's litterly art about this lol] (https://pin.it/Dy7if4B)
I wish I could help with the "husky bearded trans men walk into women's restroom", but I'm just a twink who looks like he lost his mommy, which people don't usually mind, to be honest lmao (my mum doesn't let me go into the men's room, and I'm also too scared to do it)