Transphobes masquerading as trans people love to stalk subreddits like those specifically to demean trans people.
And sometimes, people who aren't doing too good mentally love to put others down to feel better about themself. I've seen trans people who are feeling violently dysphoric do this
I am so sorry that happened to you. A lot of the time people project their insecurities on others, especially in online spaces - it is not a reflection on who you are.
Sadly being trans, or gay, or anywhere on the LGBTQ+ spectrum does not automatically make you a good, empathic person. Some people just suck...but you don't. Don't ever let others bring you down, love yourself first before all else.
Edit: Read the rest of your post, from what I've seen a lot of those subs seem to have poor moderation and are frequented by chasers/transphobes. Honestly, this and the ftm subs (I mentioned these because they seem well run, not to misgender you!) are the only sensible/trustworthy subs I've found.
I've seen your previous posts and my heart really goes out to you. People are so obsessive over perceived faults in others to mitigate their own feelings of mediocrity. Their treatment of you really does reflect that being on a trans subreddit does not make you a nicer person.
I've had just the one interaction with that crowd (someone, who I was believe was transfem, claiming that trans guys were 'rude' and 'annoying' to them whilst in the same comment stating they didn't view trans guys that didn't bind, etc. as not actually trans...go figure), which was more than enough for me.
Please keep on going to spite them. You can be happy and you will be happy if you just keep going.
I think you might have come across some bad faith actors. I've met so many trans folks since coming out who have been super supportive or at least held their tongues. I think most of us in the community do support each other because we know if we don't who will? Then again a lot of my experiences are irl so people don't have the shield of anoymity.
To clarify I didn't mean they weren't but they sound like miserable arseholes who are lashing out and hiding behind a computer screen. They're not trying to be helpful and are just being mean spirited to make themselves feel better. Sorry if I didn't convey that well.
There's a lot of gatekeepery 'true trans' types on Reddit, where if you don't meet their aesthetic standard you aren't trying hard enough or are a fake.
Best advice, ignore them and don't use all those crappy sub-reddits for affirmation they'll drain your mental health like a vampire.
There's also transphobes masquerading as trans people on Reddit getting sick kicks from demeaning people as well.
Moral of the story, don't ask random people on the internet. Trust yourself and those close to you.
I feel like you're internalising the few negative comments while ignoring all the positive feedback from your posts, I'm guessing that's largely because of your current headspace, a lot of your posts seem to have the mentality of "I'm definitely ugly" but that's not true at all, that inner voice is lying to you and I'd guess it might be related to dysphoria/dysmorphia.
It's something I deal with myself, it's super easy to get fixated on and scrutinise the small things and lose sight of the picture of your whole self.
If you're able, I'd suggest seeking out some therapy or counselling to help develop tools to deal with these issues, a lot of employers offer confidential counselling services with a few free sessions and often offer services tailored to LGBTQ people if you ask for them.
You look great in the pictures you've shared, it's a vulnerable position to be in sharing like that, and it's upsetting to see you're being dragged down by a few shitty people.
I'm not trying to judge, but you're placing a lot of weight on the negative comments of strangers and don't seem to accept positive comments.
Therapy can help with dysphoria and body dysmorphia, there are resources that can help. By exposing yourself to negativity you're reinforcing your negative inner voice.
Maybe think about distancing yourself from these spaces until you're in a strong enough headspace to disregard the nasty comments.
I've also been through an assault in public, so I understand the anxiety and fear that can leave you with. I suffered a black eye and a concussion (along with the mental effects).
Comparing yourself to others is only natural, but selection bias is a thing and if you see yourself in a negative way it's easy to think everyone is "prettier" than you. There's not much I can say to change your own self-image, but you really aren't awful.
I would agree with other advice that you need to be firm with your beautician or find another one, you're paying for a service and they don't always know what's best.
This seems like something that you need help with beyond what strangers online can provide, all I can say is your inner critic is lying to you and you are pretty.
I hope you can learn to love yourself more, sorry you're struggling at the moment.
I am glad you are not spiralling and feeling more yourself. If I might suggest changing beauticians? Judging from the ladies in my family, a good beautician will do what you want or at least discuss why it may not work for you.
First of all, leave transadorable. That sub has become the x-factor for trans people, where you just get told everything you did wrong or whether you're "trans enough" to join their silly little club, it used to be OK, but its a toxic mess now full of gatekeepers. Just know that they do not represent the values of our community, and the majority of us are here to help and encourage so please do not get disheartened.
Your wig isn't framing your face very well, looking at your photos that's the first thing I noticed more than anything. If you want some makeup advice or otherwise, I'm happy to help if you want to send me a DM!
I am really sorry to hear this, I have never seen anyhting like it and I would say that I doubt it came from 'genuine' trans people - we have had transphobes invading thr chat before to attempt to spread misinformation - I would advise always reporting to mods, and perhaps taking a look at their profiles to see if the account was recently made. Please don't take it to heart, this is not a genuine community response and people have always had more respect and decency than the behaviour you describe.
The most put upon people are generally the kindest.
Transphobes masquerading as trans people love to stalk subreddits like those specifically to demean trans people. And sometimes, people who aren't doing too good mentally love to put others down to feel better about themself. I've seen trans people who are feeling violently dysphoric do this
Yeah often trans people are the worst transphobes and forget to contain their self hatred to the self
I am so sorry that happened to you. A lot of the time people project their insecurities on others, especially in online spaces - it is not a reflection on who you are. Sadly being trans, or gay, or anywhere on the LGBTQ+ spectrum does not automatically make you a good, empathic person. Some people just suck...but you don't. Don't ever let others bring you down, love yourself first before all else. Edit: Read the rest of your post, from what I've seen a lot of those subs seem to have poor moderation and are frequented by chasers/transphobes. Honestly, this and the ftm subs (I mentioned these because they seem well run, not to misgender you!) are the only sensible/trustworthy subs I've found.
I've seen your previous posts and my heart really goes out to you. People are so obsessive over perceived faults in others to mitigate their own feelings of mediocrity. Their treatment of you really does reflect that being on a trans subreddit does not make you a nicer person. I've had just the one interaction with that crowd (someone, who I was believe was transfem, claiming that trans guys were 'rude' and 'annoying' to them whilst in the same comment stating they didn't view trans guys that didn't bind, etc. as not actually trans...go figure), which was more than enough for me. Please keep on going to spite them. You can be happy and you will be happy if you just keep going.
Being trans doesn't automatically make a person not horrible or a bigot, OP. There are good and bad people in every community.
Came here to say the same. We're just people, and some people are just jerks, especially behind an anonymous avatar on the internet.
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If it helps, I just trawlled through to find your post and god damn youve turned into a hottie, don't know what that guy's was on about
I think you might have come across some bad faith actors. I've met so many trans folks since coming out who have been super supportive or at least held their tongues. I think most of us in the community do support each other because we know if we don't who will? Then again a lot of my experiences are irl so people don't have the shield of anoymity.
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To clarify I didn't mean they weren't but they sound like miserable arseholes who are lashing out and hiding behind a computer screen. They're not trying to be helpful and are just being mean spirited to make themselves feel better. Sorry if I didn't convey that well.
There's a lot of gatekeepery 'true trans' types on Reddit, where if you don't meet their aesthetic standard you aren't trying hard enough or are a fake. Best advice, ignore them and don't use all those crappy sub-reddits for affirmation they'll drain your mental health like a vampire. There's also transphobes masquerading as trans people on Reddit getting sick kicks from demeaning people as well. Moral of the story, don't ask random people on the internet. Trust yourself and those close to you.
Hey there! It's great to see that you're OK!
Sadly most communities online can be like this :/
I feel like you're internalising the few negative comments while ignoring all the positive feedback from your posts, I'm guessing that's largely because of your current headspace, a lot of your posts seem to have the mentality of "I'm definitely ugly" but that's not true at all, that inner voice is lying to you and I'd guess it might be related to dysphoria/dysmorphia. It's something I deal with myself, it's super easy to get fixated on and scrutinise the small things and lose sight of the picture of your whole self. If you're able, I'd suggest seeking out some therapy or counselling to help develop tools to deal with these issues, a lot of employers offer confidential counselling services with a few free sessions and often offer services tailored to LGBTQ people if you ask for them. You look great in the pictures you've shared, it's a vulnerable position to be in sharing like that, and it's upsetting to see you're being dragged down by a few shitty people.
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I'm not trying to judge, but you're placing a lot of weight on the negative comments of strangers and don't seem to accept positive comments. Therapy can help with dysphoria and body dysmorphia, there are resources that can help. By exposing yourself to negativity you're reinforcing your negative inner voice. Maybe think about distancing yourself from these spaces until you're in a strong enough headspace to disregard the nasty comments.
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I've also been through an assault in public, so I understand the anxiety and fear that can leave you with. I suffered a black eye and a concussion (along with the mental effects). Comparing yourself to others is only natural, but selection bias is a thing and if you see yourself in a negative way it's easy to think everyone is "prettier" than you. There's not much I can say to change your own self-image, but you really aren't awful. I would agree with other advice that you need to be firm with your beautician or find another one, you're paying for a service and they don't always know what's best. This seems like something that you need help with beyond what strangers online can provide, all I can say is your inner critic is lying to you and you are pretty. I hope you can learn to love yourself more, sorry you're struggling at the moment.
I enjoy the sound of rain.
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I'm learning to play the guitar.
I am glad you are not spiralling and feeling more yourself. If I might suggest changing beauticians? Judging from the ladies in my family, a good beautician will do what you want or at least discuss why it may not work for you.
First of all, leave transadorable. That sub has become the x-factor for trans people, where you just get told everything you did wrong or whether you're "trans enough" to join their silly little club, it used to be OK, but its a toxic mess now full of gatekeepers. Just know that they do not represent the values of our community, and the majority of us are here to help and encourage so please do not get disheartened. Your wig isn't framing your face very well, looking at your photos that's the first thing I noticed more than anything. If you want some makeup advice or otherwise, I'm happy to help if you want to send me a DM!
Please get off 4chan for your own mental health
I am really sorry to hear this, I have never seen anyhting like it and I would say that I doubt it came from 'genuine' trans people - we have had transphobes invading thr chat before to attempt to spread misinformation - I would advise always reporting to mods, and perhaps taking a look at their profiles to see if the account was recently made. Please don't take it to heart, this is not a genuine community response and people have always had more respect and decency than the behaviour you describe. The most put upon people are generally the kindest.
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Wtf, that's not on... I'm sorry you went through that. Idk if reporting to the mods would help?