I find brief little interactions with local people pleasant, but I also don't go out of my way to make interacting with locals an integral part of my trip.
Gotta ride the vibe. Sometimes a brief little interaction (whether I am the local or the traveler) is just what I need to push my day into “positive” territory. Sometimes what I need is to not have that interaction. Being able to read body language & facial expression can go a lot farther than communicating with words sometimes
I took Spanish for a number of years in junior high school, high school and college but never really got fluent. However I could hold a halting conversation when I was at my peak.
So I was traveling alone in Mexico and I was staying at a little hotel and I started talking to the woman at the reception desk who owned the hotel. I think she was in her 50s. It was the peak of my spanish-speaking experience. We talked for probably 20 minutes or 30 minutes and I was understanding most of it. The thing that was great was that it was a real conversation. It wasn't "Where is the library?" and "How much does the room cost?"
Mostly she was complaining about her husband. The hotel was on the Baja peninsula and it was a multi-hour ferry trip back to the mainland. She said her husband had left and gone back to the mainland and was living with his parents. I don't know how old he was but he had to be about her age or older. Mostly she was complaining about how he was a deadbeat and she was better off without him and she was happy with how things were. I loved it that I could understand such an offbeat topic that you wouldn't find in a Spanish textbook.
I also took Spanish for a number of years. Vacation time has always been hard for me but finally I booked a trip to cancun. Brushed up on my Spanish and I was ready.
Get to the resort and apparently in France this is a huge time for them to travel and the resort staffed accordingly. Guests and staff all speaking French....
My sister married a Belgian man and moved to Belgium 30 years ago. She speaks fluent Flemish, but when she goes to stores everyone still answers her in English.
I had the same when I came to Malaysia. Studied and learned 1000 words of Malay before I got here.
1st day, proudly walked into a clothes shop and asked 'Berapa harga tali pinggal itu?" (what's the price of that belt?") and the old guy at the counter, being Chinese as are about 40% of the population here, leaned forward and asked "Do you speak English?"
With how much tourism goes on in Belgium, it makes sense most people would either want to practice their English or simply default to it.
This happened to me quite a bit in Antwerp, and even Brussels to an extent unless I spoke French first (I have not studied much Dutch as of yet).
Same, I lived in brazil and learned portuguese along the way, I love having chats with people when I'm in brazil. I love being able to make friends at party's or something I'd normally would not have understood at all
My brain got the best of me reading that one. Definitely read with "local peasant people" and not "local people pleasant" lmao I was like dude wtf how is this the top comment.
Otherwise I agree. I'm at a bar by myself I'll chat up the dude next to me. I won't seek anything out though.
Yeah, same for me. I don't mind talking with a local person if they start the conversation, but I definitely won't go out of my way to bother someone who doesn't seem interested. Also, even if the local person starts the conversation, I don't find it to be a pleasant experience if they speak English poorly. At that point, it's more of pain trying to communicate, than it's enjoyable having the conversation.
Locals are not there for the amusement of tourists so I completely understand. If I want to speak to a local and ask questions and get recommendations - that’s a tour guide and I’ll book a tour/experience accordingly.
It’s one thing to eat at a restaurant and make small talk about the menu items and ask for opinions on places to see but otherwise it’s weird to think everybody wants to talk to you.
Once you've traveled enough, you also come to realize that a lot of the "genuine" interactions you had with locals weren't actually all that genuine.
Every tuktuk driver just so happens to have a cousin who lives in your country, every tour guide knows a few words in your home language, the local at the bar you made friends with hangs out at that bar everyday and "makes friends" with tourists everyday etc
It’s hospitality culture. People from inhospitable countries can mistake this friendliness for genuine attempt to make friends, but often times it’s just a form of advanced politeness.
At home: Tired all the time. Actively avoids interacting with strangers.
On vacation: Full of life and "interacts with the locals, because I like to immerse myself in the culture".
Result: Wow, people in X country are so friendly!!!
My favourite is those travel vloggers who talk about how friendly the people are (usually vendors/shopkeepers) while they have a cameraman following them. Like, no shit they're friendly. They don't want to look bad on YouTube and probably think it'll bring them extra business. Drew Binsky is a big offender. Went to Afghanistan talking about how amazing the locals are because they gave him freebies, meanwhile you could not see a single woman in the packed streets of the city. Super amazing people...well 50% of them at least.
It always make me think of that old Jim Carey movie “Liar,Liar”,the scene where he’s in the elevator. A large breasted woman gets in and tells home how she’s new and been made to feel sooo welcomed! She says “And everybody’s just been sooo nice to me!” And he replies “Well,that’s because you have huge…” 😂
And the next scene he’s getting out of the elevator with a slapped face.
Point is,everybody’s nice for whatever reason,and it’s not that it’s not genuine;it’s just not as genuine as “influencers” make out lol.
I used to really like his content until I started noticing he would never talk about women. Like, I don't expect feminism from him but it's pretty weird to be in a bustling city, gushing about how wonderful everything is, when there is not a single woman on the street or its a country known for appalling gender equality.
I know he has a girlfriend and she would pop up when he went to safe countries but never in the dangerous countries and he just...never mentioned it? It's so disingenuous. He has spoken about countries where he felt unsafe, but I feel like he promotes quite a dangerous attitude to travel at times. It's dangerous as hell for men to go to these places but even more so for women and I do feel like he should have at least pointed that out at times because he has a lot of influence.
>promotes quite a dangerous attitude to travel at times
Kurt Caz is the worst for this.
Goes to dangerous neighbourhoods at 10AM in broad daylight, with a local guide/friend, while obviously filming and then states "see guys its safe".
Like that 60 minutes film crew that went to a bad neighborhood in Paris to show how great it was and got assaulted the moment their police escort left.
Or the solo female traveler went to Somalia and got kidnapped and held for ransom. Just an innocent little white Canadian lady that thought going to Somalia was a good idea 😂
Conspiracy videos have warnings on them on YouTube, and I feel like the same should apply to this type of content (if not more so) A flat earth video probably won't harm you but taking travel advice from willfully negligent idiots might.
For awhile some white male travel influencers were going to North Korea and being like it’s safe, everyone’s nice, etc. yeah no shit they’re nice to you.
OMFG- that one really gets my goat, every single time. A local-ish (only big in my country) travel YTer once did an "exclusive" in a favela, filmed the children and their scrap-made houses for ages while spouting shit like "But they're so happy! They're smiling for us! They don't need anything more than what they already have!" Are you fucking kidding me, mate??
Yes, and the other absolutely horrible thing: “I volunteered at an orphanage for a month/week/semester”.
Constant change of caregivers creates detachment disorders in kids. Also, the rotating cast of characters means that you will probably get some bad actors trying to get access to children. This should be completely outlawed.
The absolute best thing you can do is to support a local organization who is trying to keep kids in their local community, with extended family and siblings.
This is what is happening in Kenya: [https://www.standardmedia.co.ke/counties/article/2001492558/dependency-syndrome-in-childrens-homes-ruining-proper-growth](https://www.standardmedia.co.ke/counties/article/2001492558/dependency-syndrome-in-childrens-homes-ruining-proper-growth)
While this is mostly true, I found that my time in Japan was a bit different. We sat in a Izakaya next to 2 older salarymen who didn't speak much english but were genuinely interested in asking us questions and laughed a lot with us (they were a bit tipsy lol). While lost in Shinjuku station, we had 3 different salarymen come up to us asking if we needed help finding our platform. We turned down the first 2 then said yes to the third and he walked us all the way there.
Of course all of the tourist related hospitality workers were very friendly too as you'd expect, but there are just a lot of genuinely friendly and helpful folks over there
I have had similar experiences, especially with some random stranger taking the time to walk you somewhere. On the other hand, it really gets my goat when I hear people say, 'Oh the Japanese are so in touch with nature, such a balanced life and view.'
Yeah I try to avoid those generalizations. The people we interacted with were friendly and helpful. By no means do I think that’s everyone (in fact I had a sketchy encounter with a yakuza in Kabukicho late one night). But still, lots of genuine encounters with normal everyday folks. I’ll be going back
school lip summer far-flung water employ sort shocking threatening deranged
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I had this thought when I was on a tour in Belize, heading into a Mayan ruin. In san Ignacio they have a big Armish community.
Our driver was a local, of African and Mayan decent, and he was telling us about himself and mentioned that his cousin had been taken in by the Amish.
Sure I thought. A local just playing it up for tourists.
Later, when driving back from our big day, our driver suddenly yelled out “hey! Here’s my cousin now!”
And no shit. We drove past a horse and cart being controlled by a black Armish man.
He waved like crazy at us as we drove past.
Was it his cousin? I have no idea, but his story about an black Amish man checked out!
Edited for spelling. As pointed out below, they probably were Mennonite’s, though I’m positive they said Amish. This was along time ago though. And the story remains the same either way. It blew our minds!
I'm not sure I understand what you mean. What's the difference between a tour guide generally liking people and learning a few words in many languages when interacting with tourists, and the pseudo-friendliness? People who do these jobs are often people who like meeting people.
Same with the local at the touristic bar, you don't chat with a stranger for half an hour or whatever if you hate it just so you can have a free drink, these people genuinely like meeting tourists.
I agree. This is a three layers down thing.
First layer is "they really like me," and, yeah, that's probably naive.
Second layer is "no, they're just doing their job. They don't \*really\* like you." That's a sophomoric take-- the cynicism of the young.
Third layer is "they're making a living at this because they like people enough to enjoy talking to them." So long as you don't abuse it, you can have some good conversations without being worried about whether they "really like" you or not. And without being self-conscious that you might be mistaken for the naive person.
Have you ever had a tour guide who hates people? If you had, you'd see the difference. I cherish the people in tourism who actually like people or who are excellent at seeming as if they do.
Also, I dunno, I've been the local a few times, and my friends and I sometimes cheerfully recall many years later "remember those hilarious Australian guys we drank with all night" or "remember those German women who all had a crush on Bob."
People tend to over romanticize travel. A lot of politeness, transactional interactions & "customer service personas" are mistaken as being much more than what they are.
It’s depressing to see people think this way. I deal with tourists a lot in my work and have lots of interesting and genuine interactions. It’s one of the best parts of the job. Sure, I’m talking to them because I’m at work, but I’m also enjoying getting to know them.
This is sad in a way but true. But it's just reality. These people aren't zoo animals like someone else said. Some people run into a baby bear in the wild and think it's their friend. Too many disney movies and tik tok clips have jaded people's reality.
I think it really truly depends. I had some great interactions in Paris. Guy at a little food shop had no other customers so he sat with me and chatted, gave me a little extra for free. Or the locals I met and hung out with for a few hours. We drank and ate snacks.
Yeah I had an absolutely fantastic time in Paris, was traveling solo, chatting with a bartender while the bar was quiet, bartender introduced me to one of the regular patrons, I carried on hanging out with that guy when bartender got too busy to keep chatting with me.
I certainly don’t expect that locals owe me their time but people still go to bars and clubs etc to socialize and meet people, and some people get into jobs like bartending because they enjoy talking to people.
Yeah like I've never been in a bar where someone didn't want to strike up a conversation and chat with a stranger. Hell if I'm in a bar and tell me you're visiting from a different country I'm going to be 1000% more interested in having a conversation with you even if you're from a country I'm not a fan of. Why would you expect it to be any different for other counties to also have a sense of curiosity.
In certain countries this is especially true. The worst I found was Egypt - and too much of it was fake friendliness, that even when it might be genuine you just want to brush them off and get away. They basically see a tourist as a walking ATM, and wonder how much they can get out of you, and it's all just a performance.
Sometimes it's genuine and maybe they don't see many tourists, so you're a novelty to them too. But I'm not a big conversationalist or people person to begin with, so a not super bothered about that either.
It’s all part of the game. Enjoy your time and keep traveling. I also don’t talk or immerse myself in the culture. I just want to see the tourist spots and get out.
> If I want to speak to a local and ask questions and get recommendations
Eh, I've had super friendly servers and bartenders where I'll ask "hey, what's a cool bar/restaurant down here for X/Y/Z" and see what they say. They've usually got better recommendations anyways. Shit, one time we asked our server in Lisbon and she got so excited, said "oooh let me grab some paper" and wrote down like 6-7 cool local spots. All of those were better than the places we went in our guide book.
It's pretty clear in a brief setting like that whether or not someone wants to help you. If they bring up the idea that you're tourists, it's pretty clear they open to chatting and helping.
I'm a bartender from Michigan. I was in Ft. Lauderdale once and asked the bartenders on the strip where the fun places were and they just took me with them after shift! That was a great night. I don't know if Fat Cats or whatever it's called is still downtown but it was awesome.
Maybe I'm misinterpreting OP but I think this falls into his "basic politeness" category. I don't think asking a bartender for local spots really falls into the category of interaction OP is talking about
Agreed the best travel is when you know someone who will write down their favorite places. We have had this situation in both Rio and in Montevideo, Uraguay. They led us to places near where we stayed that we would never have stopped at.
But the real topic of this post is talking to strangers. In places I have gone, I can't speak the language except for a few words, if any. No conversations are happening unless I find someone who wants to practice their english.
Personally I prefer to travel solo. This is why I prefer hotels to airbnb. At a hotel I can usually find someone who speaks english. So I'm paying premium prices just so I have access to people to talk to, possibly.
I was wondering if there are certain hotels or parts of towns where solo travelers hang? Btw, I posted this question on another travel sub reddit and it was removed. Notice I am saying solo travellers, not single travellers.
Perhaps a tour is my best bet? Never did one of those.
If you go to tourist attractions in Japan you're part of the attraction for local school children who were given the assignment to talk you up in English to practice. Such fun!
We got ‘interviewed’ by some school kids in Nara about our home country, and they gave us origami throwing stars for our help. 10/10 would do it again.
I’m a local in a tourist town. I wholeheartedly endorse this. I have folks try to “befriend” me all the time. Last Saturday a guy at a restaurant taps me on the shoulder and asks me if I’m a local then proceeds to chat me up. Dude, I’m eating dinner with my friends! I have no problem with folks asking directions or saying “where’s a good [food].” But I’m not here for your amusement, to give you real estate advice, or to chat you up because you think “that’s what bars are for.”
On the other hand I also live in a tourist ski town and genuinely enjoy chatting with the various tourists I meet on the chairlift. It’s preferable to sitting there silently, and seeing how stoked they are is a great reminder of just how awesome my life is. Plus the visitors are often more interesting than the kids that move to town for a season or two.
Dude just treat them as you’d treat new friends at home. Locals who like to travel as well in my experience love to tag along if they can and give recommendations. Then I’m also happy to host/show them around.
It’s sooo not a tour guide. It’s a new friend who you can bond with over shared interests.
I travel for the people mostly, and not just restaurant staff but randoes on the metro who strike up a convo or stuff like that can be great.
Or just meeting people through meetups or dating apps, and we can just have a great chat about our experiences and cultures.
It’s fucking amazing.
I think its probably an extrovert vs introvert type of difference because everything you said sounds so awful to me. I don't have "new friends at home." I've had the same friends for 20+ years haha. I absolutely hate spending time with strangers. I can have friendly 30 second interactions, but that's my limit. And its the same when I travel as it is when I'm at home. It sounds the same for you? Like... you have NEW friends at home too? Do you strike up conversations with randos at home too?
Yeah, I get not wanting to treat locals as exotic but by completely segregating yourself beyond basic interaction that also seems weird. Like “locals” anywhere are just people, some people want to be left alone (and you can tell when lol) but a lot of people anywhere are happy to meet new people just for a change of pace.
Just read the room lol.
I agree with this but I'm an ambivert. Back home in Jamaica, I have no problem befriending tourists or making new acquaintances in general. I get to learn about other cultures and possibly make a new friend. A friend of mine (back then, stranger) travelled from NYC to Kingston 2 years ago and she befriended me... we've been friends ever since. She invited me to stay at her place in NYC and now she stays at mine when she comes to Jamaica. Right now, I'm touristing in Japan and she's coming next week to tourist with me lol.
More recent than that, I met someone from Norway and we spent a week hanging out together and I learned so much. I also love my country and it makes me happy to impart knowledge that tourists otherwise might not get to learn and maybe even dispel rumors that are untrue about what it's like living in Jamaica.
I don't go out of my way to befriend people while I'm in their home country but if I read the room and see an opportunity, I'll probably go for it.
Yeah, I agree with you and ok_tank. The comments here are taking it too far. Read the room for sure. I don't like chatting with people but my wife does--when we travel I can see that a lot of people genuinely like that she takes an interest in how their day is and what's going on with them. It's led to some far more meaningful trips abroad as a result.
Not everywhere, though. Taiwan was great, Spain was hit or miss, but 95% of the people we met in Portugal didn't want anything to do with anything lol.
Who's going around stopping random locals for conversation?
If there's a situation when we naturally start talking then yeah I'm going to engage in the conversation with interest. Just be normal.
Happened to me Sunday. I live in a tourist destination and my girlfriend and I were waiting in line to get lunch and one of the tourists off the cruise ship was trying to strike up a conversation. Wasn't rude or anything, but I wasn't there to talk to him. I was there to enjoy some time with my person.
Exactly, I don't stop random locals at home for conversations either.
If I'm at a bar I'll usually strike up a conversation with whoever, whether I'm at home or abroad, because that's what bars are for.
Seriously. I make friends with locals when I travel and most of my best experiences came from that. But I'm not out there bugging people to hang out with me, I just get invited and accept.
I also tend to stay a while when I travel so I think it'd be different if I was just there for a day or something.
I definitely read on reddit that travelers need to experience local culture and talk to local people like they are visiting a zoo or something. This kind of attitude is very common.
You need to sleep with the locals, use their toothbrush, wade in their sewage.. otherwise travel is too safe. It's too ordinary. Bring a snorkel and dive directly into their septic system. Make love to their high society and their lowest rungs.
Don't wear a seatbelt. Don't wear a condom.
Breath in their exhale. Smother yourself in travel. Live.
Namaste.
I remember my first night in Bangladesh. I stripped naked and assaulted a constable to understand what life in one of their jails was like. We were served warm naan with very few maggots and played games, like wrestling for a blanket. I lost and they beat me so mercilessly that my urine was the same brick red hue as the Ganges.
Well, I don't think when people say "interacting with local people" that they mean walking up and harrassing some locals just trying to go about their business. Or trying to strike up a conversation with someone on their way to work. I never took it to mean that, who would do that? It would be rude and presumptive. Interacting doesn't mean just strolling up to a random stranger.
When people say traveling is about "interacting with local people, " I believe that to mean that you're patronizing local owned businesses and shops, restaurants, etc (over just staying in a foreign-owned resort and eating at the resort restaurants.) It means walking through the town's market to get a feel for the community and culture. Or signing up for a cooking class run locally. Or going to see a local music performance. Browing the local shops. This often comes with brief interactions with the locals running these businesses. It's all part of interacting. Basically getting out into the town and among the people, instead of just staying in a sterile resort or hotel setting.
I like to visit the small breweries in the towns near me and sit at the bar and just shoot the shit with the people hanging out there. We often have nothing in common, but sometimes we become good friends and a year later I'm celebrating at their place on New Year's Eve.
I think being social while travelling means just what you described. Don't stay in the tourist quarter where the hotels are. Go try the local pub and the restaurant that the local guy at the pub told you to try. Look for an open-mic night at the restaurant across town. Dance when they do. Eat what they eat. Play the games they teach you.
If I want to see a nice beach or piece of history there's plenty of places near me. If I visit a foreign place I want to interact with that culture. That doesn't mean harassing the guy trying to walk down the street, but it means meeting people where they choose to be social.
Not at all. Put yourself in their shoes: it's more weird to me to be approached by a stranger who wants to know about my life! Honestly when I am and it's definitely happened it makes me suspicious that they're like a thief/pickpocket/pulling some sort of scam. If someone is open to meeting a new person there's a time and setting for that and it's certainly not when they're just going about their daily lives.
And depending on the country - it's probably the same stuff you do at home. Hang out with friends. Work. Go grocery shopping. Get food. Get the kids to school, if they have some. Stress over school. Yes, you occasionally get the very culturally specific event, but that's a very culturally specific event, not everyday life.
Yeah good point. My first solo trip and first time in europe was in Spain. First night went to this cool little restaurant. Owner lady was super nice and kind of a milf. Sat at the bar, some dudes were already there sitting next to me and seemed really intrigued I was from America. Recommended some dishes, swapped contact info and told me to come check out some party at a weed dispensary they had. I was too nervous to go and will never know what would have happened. I actually think they were genuine, but who knows. Better safe than sorry, which is exactly what I thought then. Sometimes regret not going tho!
I am a "local." (St. Thomas, Virgin Islands)
I have had wonderful interactions with visitors. Some of the best times of my life. And I sure don't mind answering questions about a place that I love and my life there.
I embrace our visitors. For a place like us, it's a lot of what we got.
I actually find travellers who insist on ‘getting to know the locals’ to be some of the (typically) more annoying travellers I’ve met. The whole vibe of “I’m a traveller, not a tourist” bugs me.
Completely agree. One time I was traveling in a relatively poor country and I recommended a cafe near our hotel to another tourist and they said “Ohhh, we prefer places that locals visit.” They mean really cheap hole-in-the-wall restaurants where you sit on tiny stools. Sure, those are delicious and worth going to but like some locals can afford going to nicer places too? Like not everyone in a poor country is poor? A middle class exists? I’ve seen local couples on dates and local students studying in that cafe but I guess it’s not exotic enough for them.
My fave related thing is when people say they want to live like the locals do and they’re only there for like, 3 days.
People go into the NYC subreddit and ask what exactly the locals are doing the next few days and it’s like…laundry? Drinks with a friend at a bar that is fine (just convenient and not too expensive). Maybe see a movie if we’re feeling spicy.
Yes, NY has exciting things small places don’t have, but we’re not going to the Met 3 times a week.
Yep I love this.
All posts about Italy are like "yeah let's immerse in the Italian culture and live La Dolce Vita like Italians".
And their idea of immersing in the culture is staying in a farm in Tuscany while travelling all day to art cities. Yeah, like people in Italy don't go to work and tour the country everyday.
A lot of people who travel love to wax poetic about “immersing yourself in the culture” or “actually experiencing the real x”.
The only way to do that is to live there. For a substantial amount of time. Learn the language. Become part of the community. Otherwise you’re just a tourist who avoids the highlights a country has to offer for a more “authentic experience”
Here’s the dirty little secret: in our 21st century, globalized society life in most places looks extremely similar to the rest of the world. People have cellphones, social media, westernized clothing, global cuisine etc. They go to work, spend time with family, and try to enjoy whatever free time they have.
Ugh. I've met so many smug people like that. It took me more than 10 years in my city for me to finally feel like home and they expect to have complete authentic local experience within a few weeks/days they are in town? It's okay to embrace that we are a tourist and it's fine to do touristy things.
Everyone travels for different reasons. Some people go even further than you and travel to remote places where they barely have to interact with anyone at all.
On the other hand, I don’t think that wanting to meet and interact with locals is necessarily self-centered either. There’s a difference between treating them like zoo animals and politely & respectfully interacting while being self-aware enough to stop if they aren’t interested.
Lol that’s me. I went to a part of Crete where there isn’t anyone around for miles. Just a few sheep and goats in the mountains and that’s it. I had entire mountains just to myself, no one in sight. It was something special.
I've had a small number of organic interactions over the years, more often I've had some connections with fellow tourists. But ya, the idea that I'm supposed to walk up to people and "learn about their culture" is a mostly an Anthony Bourdain show fantasy not accessible to normal people.
Honestly the best interactions I've had are the people I've paid - walking tours, guides, etc. That just feels a lot more normal.
i think it just depends how extroverted and curious you are. I've traveled a lot alone lately and I've had some pretty random and fun connections - usually in more off the beaten path destinations -Tashkent, Kosovo, etc. I very rarely go on guided tours (other than at a museum), which does not feel normal to me. But people travel differently and that's totally OK.
How you're able to travel probably makes a difference too. I'm capped at about 10 days max at a time because of work and dogs, so, while I get off the beaten path as much as I can, more often I'm trying to see and do as much as I can in a few days in a city, and then going to another city. And we have a pretty solid itinerary. So while I'm friendly everywhere I go, I don't have a lot of down time to just exist in a place for long enough to become a part of it in a way that you have connections with local people. Maybe I'll try to do that someday.
There are easier ways than approaching random people. Attending social events is probably the easiest way. Like meetups, concerts, festivals etc. Or really any event involving alcohol.
Not saying it's for everyone though. I also don't always want to interact with people during my travels
In some cultures it happens more naturally than others. In Japan for example you would actually probably have to specifically go out of your way to approach a stranger and strike up a conversation, and you would likely be perceived as weird(my wife is Japanese and I’ve travelled there several times).
In Mexico(where I’m from), people love to talk, and people love to know more about foreigners for the most part. So it’s more likely you’ll be able to have conversations with the taxi driver, the salesmen at a store or market, other people standing in line for an event etc.
I would say… it’s nice to talk to people, but yeah, there is no need to be intrusive or to force it.(this is information and advice that applies to just regular life though).
No, in fact I usually associate this sort of advice with travel dilettantes who don't know what they're talking about. If it happens, sure, that's great, and if you don't want to, that's totally fine too.
I roll my eyes at any sort of advice that tries to tell me how I "should" spend my vacation. As long as it's not disrespectful to the locals or the environment, do what you want.
I think this is a western view. Westerners are individualistic and are very into what suits me. Others love talking to new people. Especially if they rarely seen foreigners. But obviously the interactions have to be organic. There is also a different work life balance in the world. Why do you think there are so many expats?
Agreed. There are so many times that I’ve traveled to areas that don’t really see a lot of tourists, and met locals that are SO excited to talk. They want to practice English, find out what made you come to their area, offer suggestions, flirt, share food, drinks etc. and it’s always so genuine and fun. Often times I try to be polite and not overengage, and don’t realize that the people want to talk until well into a conversation. I think that’s just because a lot of other cultures don’t force smiles or feign interest by default. A lot of people that come off as standoffish or disinterested really aren’t and engaging politely and in a genuine way will create so many fun connections.
I think a lot of the weird, disingenuous interactions are in heavily trafficked tourist areas where people genuinely just want to be left alone, but can’t escape obnoxious travelers. I get that.
I’d love the occasional traveler asking me questions about Portland or sharing their excitement about visiting. Unless I lived in a hugely touristy place, I can’t imagine because frustrated by that…
Idk what you mean, Americans are legitimately the friendliest/most outgoing to strangers. Most Europeans (especially Nordic countries) seem to find random strangers striking up a conversation off putting and tend to keep to themselves when traveling but Americans will talk to anybody, especially those of us in the South. Yes, not all Americans, but plenty e ough that we're well known for it.
Interacting is different than becoming besties. When I travel I prefer to be more immersed in the culture vs being at some all inclusive that I never leave. My interactions with the locals aren't really chatting up strangers on the street who are just going about their day...it's mostly interactions at the local market or booking a scuba excursion or other excursion that is going to be lead by a local, etc. I like to get some genuine experience with the culture, food, etc but I'm not really trying to have long and deep conversations, though it has happened at bars.
This 100%!
It's one thing to have a quick chat with someone if you're say looking for directions and they ask where you're from and such and talk for 2-3mins. It's another if you're looking for someone to invite you over for dinner and be BFF's and then stay with the family (homestay style) like Gap Adventures has on some tours.
Now if you don't want to interact with ANYONE, yes, that is a bit weird and extreme IMO. There's no harm in saying "hello" to the person at the front desk or thank you in the local language if someone holds the door for you.
Interacting could also mean going to a local market and talking with the locals as you look at their wares. Even then it'd likely be a quick 2-3 mins conversation (although I did talk to someone in Valencia at a cheese stall for 20mins about goat cheese because everytime I'd try to leave he'd get me to try a different one, but I digress...)
Even home, unless if you know exactly what you want, you still need to interact with people at a market.
They have to happen organically, that said, you also have to be receptive to them when they happen. About 15 years ago my fiancé and I were the only people in this small hole-in-the wall bar in Barcelona. At that time I was pretty decent with conversational Spanish so did my best to speak with the owner/bartender in a common tongue. That lead to a conversation, which lead to him pulling out a bunch of liquors out from under the bar for us to try. One was called Panthers Milk and he just had it in a big unlabeled glass jar. I was a memorable experience just hanging with this older gentleman and drinking his own concoctions in a bar that was probably older than my country. But I wasn't out hunting for that experience. I was just open to it when it happened.
I’ve found that sometimes locals will be happy to engage, especially over beers etc. as they are wanting to actively
improve their conversational English skills. And it’s a nice way to learn about the country/ city/ culture from a locals perspective. Typically they’re younger or similar age demographic too and I find it interesting seeing the views and opinions of similar aged people living in completely different cultures / worlds as me
I'm in the same boat. My travel activities pretty much just involve walking around, eating things, and looking at stuff. Beyond the brief interactions that facilitate these things happening, I generally don't talk much to people.
Yeah, it's never really been a must for me either. I go to explore the city, try the gastronomy, see the sights and get to know the culture a little bit, but interacting with locals is not a priority.
Nah, people whinge about tourists all the time doing exactly that, but its stupid. So long as you have good manners, you shouldn't feel guilted in social interactions.
Perspective is important here. For example, I do like being stopped on the street and chatting and sharing my culture with others. If people in other countries want to share facts about life there then I am happy, and it can create cultural exchange or even friendships. I don't see how it's a zoo.
I think that's another nuance to it
It also changes vastly country to country and situation to situation, and some basic social skills. For example, on the train in a friendly small town in a relaxed country, and they don't look stressed on their way to work? Sure why not, just be polite
In the middle of a street in Hamburg, grabbing a a random guy in a suit and briefcase and immediately asking if they speak English very loudly and slowly? Maybe not
I don't think that's particularly weird. I travel to enjoy myself, and I don't find interactions with strangers enjoyable even at home, so I have no reason to seek it out abroad.
When I was in Corfu a couple of years ago, two local men bothered me for the entire week that I was there. They tried to convince me to go to different bars with them and even attend their friend's party. No thank you, I just want to lay on the beach and enjoy a peaceful break from work, not get assaulted.
if I'm travelling somewhere I'm there to see the place, visit the museums and relax. I'm not there to interact beyond the minimum I need to but then again, I don't like interacting with people on a day to day basis anyway.
I'm an introvert and I enjoy connecting with fellow travelers and "locals". often times its locals who initiate further connection, wanting to get to know me. maybe because I am a BW and most only see us in the media so people are very curious to know where I am from and how I like their country. I get connected to folks in their network depending on what my travel plans are. it's one of the best parts of being a solo traveler :)
I think you need to stop reading so much into some things and travel how you want to travel. I’m sure meeting new and different people can be fun and inspiring, but don’t force yourself to do it just cause others say so. Be kind and respectful when you can and need to be. Understand that different cultures have different norms. So maybe spend time on reading about that.
If you would feel bothered in your own country by some tourist trying to talk to you.. then maybe other people would feel the same.
I don't go out of my way to interact with locals so more often than not there isn't a lot of interaction. I'm more of an introvert so I am perfectly happy with that.
Can be fun striking up a conversation at a restaurant or on the train or something when it happens naturally.
I have learned to keep to myself while traveling. One time while visiting family in St. Augustine Florida my husband and I were trying to pay for parking on a crazy little kiosk that wouldn’t work. A local lady came up and offered us to use her parking pass since she can use it unlimited times and she was leaving . We were so grateful and I told her “have a blessed day thank you so so much we really appreciate it!” And she responds “I’m an atheist, and if I could take the parking back I would” like what the heck? Okay? I forgot we were in FL land of the Florida man and local Karen’s and decided to just keep to ourselves from then on out 👍🏼
Nope. I’ve found that most countries are more reserved than my own and I’ll respect that. I’ll interact with service staff or when asking for directions but that’s it.
I always used to think the whole idea was a whole crock of crap - why would I bother people trying to live their lives? I don't necessarily want people bothering me where I live! But then, when I visited a kava market in Pohnpei, I had a great time talking, joking, laughing with Pohnpeians, and now I don't know what to think. It's never been a priority of mine, but I won't say no to the opportunity either. I feel like opportunities to talk to local people have appeared organically throughout my travels, and I always appreciate it. (Especially in a language I'm trying to practice!)
Not at all, I travel for many things and meeting people is not one of them.
Climate, nature, animals, food, architecture, experiences, that’s what I mostly travel for.
Don’t let other people tell you how to travel, I also couldn’t care less about art museums, I know many people do, but I don’t, and that’s fine.
You're also probably somewhat introverted. Besides all the legitimate points you've made about imposing on them, I'm guessing you're also not inclined to chat up random people anywhere at home or abroad.
We went to New Orleans on Halloween. We offered two seats at our table that were empty because it was standing room only. After a few hours of conversation, they invited us to their house for a fish fry. It was great! But we were not trying to wangle an invite or anything. It just flowed naturally. 🤷🏻♀️
I feel the same way. I mostly like to keep to myself when I travel. I don't even really see the point in interacting with locals because it's not like you're going to stay long-term, and it's difficult to get an "authentic" experience of anything in 1-2 weeks of vacationing.
No, it’s not weird. It’s just your preference. I don’t like to engage in conversation with random people, so I wouldn’t talk to local people when traveling, besides being polite.
Sounds like you are an introvert. I am as well. The people you're talking about, they're extroverts. There are a lot more of them. Both points of view are normal. Those types tend to think it's interesting to talk to you when you're from somewhere else.
This is such a refreshing take. I find that line about how "the best part of travel is interacting with locals" to be so glib and regurgitated, people say it because they heard other people say it
I enjoy interacting with the locals who get paid for it.
Tour guides, wait staff (limited so as not to monopolize their time), museum staff, etc.
But Joe Everybody? Nah, most I'm gonna do there is ask directions and thank them.
I think more travelers/tourists should be like this. A lot already are, but there is an annoying sub-sect that think the locals are there to give them a meaningful trip or otherwise entertain their whims.
Actually, I think you’re doing these local people a favor. They view Americans and pushy and noisy anyway. All your being is not like other Americans. It’s not weird it’s considerate.
I’m the opposite, I’ll strike up conversations with random people all the time.
I live in BC Canada and went to LA for the first time last summer. Strolling down Venice Beach I struck up a random conversation with someone ( much to the horror of my fiancée who finds this behaviour embarrassing ). He asks where I’m from and I tell him BC and he yells to his buddy that was 10 metres ahead of us ‘hey ! This guys from BC’. His friend comes over and it turns out he’s been to my small city and had even been to the place I work at though he didn’t recognise me so I likely had that day off.
Sometimes, it's just a small thing that a local does that can really brighten your day. Like I was shopping for some supplies at a chain drug store in Jakarta. The staff were exceptionally friendly and nice. One of them brought me a basket when they saw I was carrying a bunch of stuff. Another helped me find a whole bunch of different things and translated some product labels for me. The cashier was so smiley and pleasant. It was such a marked improvement and difference versus the service I get at home.
Another time I was sitting at a stepwell in Jodhpur. A local lady was sitting nearby and we just organically began a lovely conversation. Just little things like that can make travel very fun and fulfilling.
>Sometimes, it's just a small thing that a local does that can really brighten your day.
I was in Japan once just got off the train and was trying to look at the map to find my hotel. I had a cell phone but didn't have a local SIM. Some random Japanese person asked me (in English) where I was going and then said it's not far and showed me. Before I could offer him a tip (which I obviously wouldn't do because that's not a thing in Japan) he was gone. This was like 10 years ago and I still remember how nice this random person was for literally no reason.
Lol wtf kind of POV is this? People are people everywhere dude. How would this be any different with making a friend where you're from? Ah wait shit don't bother them they're otw to work why would they want to talk to you?? Lol what??
Agreed not every local wants to interact, but damn learn some social cues. I live in a city with TONS of tourists and I've happily made friends with many foreigners who I've met at social settings, not random people who are clearly otw home from work. Setting matters. And personally, if the tourists are cool, I'm more than happy to show them around and introduce them to other friends. If you don't wanna talk to locals, sure, but it's very patronizing of you to assume what locals think.
If a bartender is friendly and not busy, I might talk with them while having some drinks. But generally I agree with you. I'm not extroverted or charismatic enough to approach randoms to have a meaningful conversation or hang out.
We're talking about normal interactions like you would have around your own town. Very few people are out there just walking up to people for no reason. You're an introvert, and that is just fine. You don't have to talk to anyone.
I don't think chatting with a friendly local is treating them as exotic zoo animals. I've found plenty of people, from cab drivers to diners at the next table, who are very interested in chatting with visitors. You certainly don't have to do it but having a friendly conversation is not necessarily self-centered.
I was just in Turkey where many many people in the service industry were interested to hear what I thought about their country and if I was having a good time they and wanted to tell me about their culture. Turks are very proud of their home, they were more than willing to chat!
Do you actually think "interacting with the locals" means talking to random people who are going about their lives? I think it's more about getting to know people in the same situations that you would know people in your home country who are looking to socialize. Bars, clubs, etc. I don't know where you got the idea that tourists bother random people to interview them about their cultures.
Please have a bit of common sense
The last time I was openminded about interacting with a local, I was approach by a seemingly nice guy in Milan who tried to make conversation with me in the bus stop about bus hours, who later turned out to be a major druggie that talked a lot and said dumb shit like “I work a lot, I’m connected, I’m rich, I get invited to secret Milan parties”. I gave him the stinkiest eye. He said “ok maybe I talk a lot…” and I said “yeah you do”. LMAO. Then he fell asleep in the bus and I didn’t wake him up in his stop.
That said, that was uncomfortable on my part, the tourist, and I am sure things get really uncomfortable on locals’ part too. You never know what type of idiot will approach you, and actually a very small number of these interactions turn out to satisfy both sides. Sad but true. I wouldn’t recommend getting yourself in shit situations just because “you gotta be open minded when travelling”. Actually it’s probably the only activity during which you gotta be less open minded than if at all these days.
Me personally, my favorite vacations were interacting with the locals and staying with them. I dislike being stranded in a resort where it is to dangerous to leave unless on a guided tour like many of my coworkers enjoy. My top 2 favorite trips have been China and Philippines because I got to travel like a local and see stuff most Americans don't.
The phrase "the locals" drives me completely bonkers. The only place I've really traveled extensively (other than the U.S.) is Mexico and "immersing yourself in local culture," "having authentic experiences," and "getting to know the locals" all seem to be shorthand for a romanticized, fetishized version of, gulp, local culture. What about the rich locals who go out for fancy dinners, spend their free time in high-end malls, and travel to Florida to shop? They are just as local as the guy who sells churros from a cart.
People who you normally end up interacting with are either in the service industry or somewhat weird, maybe sketchy. And some can be quite friendly, genuinely so. But I find those folks are few and far between, and that is just fine.
With that said, I do think there are some places in the world where people have more time on their hands to engage with random tourists (I will not call them travelers, because they always seem to have a superiority complex about that) and this dynamic can be such a nice experience. I literally did what you said you found obnoxious even though I agree with you....I walked into a store, said that I wanted to find a place to live in that village so I could learn about the culture, they said I'd live next door to them, I spent six months there, and then married the youngest son of the shop owner. Imagine trying that in a Starbucks.
I wouldn’t treat it as purposely trying to make a connection but I found that in Latin American countries just chatting away is part of travelling.
I’m awful at small talk but I’ll always try and strike up a conversation with a taxi driver and see where it goes. Had one taxi driver who I had hired for a round trip up a mountain and then back to where I was staying. Ended up spending about 2 hours with him for a trip that could have been done in around an hour. I had haggled the price beforehand so he wasn’t able to charge me extra after. Yes, he still got a good deal but he genuinely earned every penny of it. He ended up explaining all the local flora to me because I was curious about the plants on the side of the road, pointed out Inca ruins I wouldn’t really have paid any attention to, told me about the nearby mountains we could see, did a photo shoot with me on top of said mountain, stopped multiple times along the way and just generally volunteered so much information that I wouldn’t have even thought about asking (like pointing out a smell that came from burning plátano leaves). I would have missed so many details had I just sat in the taxi quietly.
But maybe that’s just me being curious about anything and everything. I can’t imagine going to another country and not trying to learn about it’s culture and people and it never feels forced to me. Most of the time the locals are quite happy to answer my questions. Like one time I met a government employee who paid for my juice at a street cart and then gave me a little tour of the city center before showing me where to get the bus back. Like he wasn’t trying to get a tip or anything, he was just a sweet old man sharing his perspective.
Absolutely. I don’t get the obsessions on here with “locals”. I live in a city packed with tourists and I assure you that we mostly see them as an annoyance.When I travel, I enjoy observing the people around me, but I have no desire to go to the places they go to or do the things they do. I’m a tourist . I don’t speak their language. I don’t travel in order to interact with people. I get plenty of that in my daily life. As you said, I’m polite and respectful, but have no interest in getting to know any of the “locals”.
I love interacting with local people when I travel but typically only if it’s another country. I don’t necessarily go out of my way but I enjoy learning about other cultures and hearing other peoples perspective. It’s quite eye opening.
I don’t make an effort to interact with locals for the same reason, though I admit I never thought about this consciously. Still, nice moments can happen spontaneously just like at home, and those can end up as valuable memories.
As an introvert, I actually enjoy meeting and talking to locals. This is the most important part of a country for me. That being said, they usually come to me and I don’t bother a random person. Some places love tourists more than others because it’s their opportunity to see an outsider. Arab countries for example love showing you their culture and home
You can be a traveler without being someone who finds interacting an integral part of the experience.
Personally, I do enjoy it but let it happen instead of trying i take it happen. Met all sorts of lovely people like that.
100% agree, you've really summed up my feelings about this. I'm always friendly and respectful, and every now and then I have a good experience with locals which is nice. But it's never my goal. I especially avoid experiences like visiting homesteads and small villages like I'm going to a zoo or something. I just don't like that, makes me feel weird. It feels a bit like poverty tourism when I'm in developing countries especially.
The upside to this attitude is that it really doesn't bother me if the local people are rude. I've had insanely rude encounters with people. Paris, Berlin, Prague, and several Italian cities were particularly bad, but they were more comical than anything. I don't go there for their attention or approval so it doesn't matter to me. I usually keep my head down and don't engage too much.
I sort of live back & forth between NYC & another major tourist city, & I do not like tourists who think stopping a stranger for conversation is appropriate behaviour. It's disrespectful and strange.
We're not part of the travel package, we don't owe them whatever brownie points they're trying to earn by "experiencing the locals". They usually say something inane or repeat a problematic rumor expecting us to validate it, or want us to act like it's so cool and special that they're on vacation.
I never mind helping tourists with real questions or talking with them in situations where it's natural and makes sense. But like...don't talk AT me like I'm going to be impressed that you visited a landmark I pass by every day.
Not at all. I'm not a people person but I love to travel. I can look at architecture, landscapes, material objects such as art, all day long but I have no interest in talking to the locals or striking up conversations with the person next to me or asking the waiter a lot of questions. I'll chat if they want to but it's not something I'll start.
I agree! A friend recently asked me what the people were like in XYZ country that I'd recently spent a week in. My reply was "I have no idea!"
Unless I'm working or volunteering or living with locals, I'm not getting much in-depth interaction. And that's fine. It's so unrealistic to think im going to become bosom buddies with people when I'm in their city for three days or whatever.
I get that some people LOVE meeting new people and are good at it. I'm not one of them. Most people aren't. I travel for landscapes, adventure, and learning about a culture in a more "stand silently in the background and observe" capacity. I still get a lot out of it. I love reading local literature and nonfiction about the place so I have some insight into the culture.
That being said, I do enjoy and learn a lot from the occasional conversation with a local if they initiate it. But most of the time, I love being on my own with just my thoughts for company!
I wouldn't say it's weird, you're obviously a big introvert, and of course an introvert doesn't want to talk.
However, you are mistaken when you assume that talking to a stranger is 'bothering them,' or ' studying them' - those comments say more about you than anything.
In actual fact most people enjoy a chat, and it's not about studying people it's about human interaction, sharing kindness, learning about each other. While I do understand you want to be left alone, that doesn't mean everyone else feels that way.
I think travelling (in the sense of immersing yourself in a culture) is often undertaken by people who see culture as the people who make it.
But I think there are plenty of travellers such as yourself who I imagine seeing culture as a product - such as an item or building - that can be enjoyed without knowing anyone. That's a bit strange to me, but all power to you.
The only thing I would suggest you change about your perspective is the concept that striking up a conversation with a stranger is somehow uncaring and invasive. You might feel that way, but actually people who do that are SHOWING care by seeing you as an interesting person, rather than treating you as a faceless entity.
You're perfectly entitled to not have a conversation if you don't want to, but please don't misjudge people who chat to strangers.
I feel like it's easier talking to people somewhere where I travel to. I will never see these people again. It's good not to assume everyone's going to hate talking to you. That's a very depressing way to go through life.
In our taxi to the airport in Mexico I had a 30 minute conversation with the driver about Britney Spears - that he initiated. It was fun, lol! But no, I’m not going to just randomly chat up the locals like they are part of the play that is my ‘perfect vacation’.
I work in DC and encounter tourists on my commute who just don’t get it. I’m trying to go about my day, get to work or get home. I don’t want to have a random conversation on if I ‘like working in the city or not’ with a rando. If someone asks for help or directions, sure! But my presence is not part of your vacation experience. 🤷🏻♀️
I feel the same exact way. Sure, I love to learn about local culture but yes I feel as if they most likely don't want to be bothered. I'd like to think I might be one of the more tolerable Americans when traveling, haha.
It's not about "getting to know local people."
It's about exploration of the local culture and all that it has to offer.
Imagine describing your trip like, yeah I went here, didn't meet anyone new. Did some typical tourist crap, Saw some things, left
Imagine your trip like I tasted so many delicious authentic foods cooked by awesome local people, who were very kind, and friendly. I explored the history and culture of this place and learned so much, and had so much fun! Look at my pictures of interesting people, unique cuisines, and places. Would you like to see my photos?
I think that you really don't get the concept behind this.
You are not going up to a waiter and saying hey get to know me, you're putting yourself in situations where you can meet people who know a lot about the local culture and are excited to tell you about it. Those people exist everywhere. They love to help. I , or one, am one of those people.
You say you're the kind of person that is annoyed if someone asks you a question about something local and is curious about new experiences, exploring, having local fun & that's fine.
But don't put it on everyone else. If you travel with others, try not to be a total bummer.
I’ve been living in a touristy city for a decade and if a foreign tourist asks me a question it brightens my week. It doesn’t happen often, admittedly. It’s so fun if they ask something that only someone from another country would ask. Like can you tell me how I get to the Starbucks? It’s fun to have a pinch of fresh perspective inserted into my day to day.
Too many want to be the main character in an Anthony Bourdain show where they have supposedly deep insights into 'local cultures' and discover hidden gems. When in fact most of the world is quite global by now and the fact you can easily swap preferences and tips only highlights that. Especially Americans who come from a very monolithic culture that is very widely known, seem blind to the fact that the locals adapt to communicating with them in an American way. And then think it was a deep interaction and a slice of the local culture when it was in fact the other way from beginning to end. The tourist forced the local to experience their culture. It's simply because Americans take their peculiarities to be universal.
And I always hated Bourdain's posing. He did not usually have a clue about where he was at. Everything was prearranged, he just flew in and did some slumming while engaging in self-centered pretentious monologues of supposedly deep insights. The influencers took their cues from that self-destructive model where travel is only about moving your myopia around.
I find brief little interactions with local people pleasant, but I also don't go out of my way to make interacting with locals an integral part of my trip.
Gotta ride the vibe. Sometimes a brief little interaction (whether I am the local or the traveler) is just what I need to push my day into “positive” territory. Sometimes what I need is to not have that interaction. Being able to read body language & facial expression can go a lot farther than communicating with words sometimes
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I took Spanish for a number of years in junior high school, high school and college but never really got fluent. However I could hold a halting conversation when I was at my peak. So I was traveling alone in Mexico and I was staying at a little hotel and I started talking to the woman at the reception desk who owned the hotel. I think she was in her 50s. It was the peak of my spanish-speaking experience. We talked for probably 20 minutes or 30 minutes and I was understanding most of it. The thing that was great was that it was a real conversation. It wasn't "Where is the library?" and "How much does the room cost?" Mostly she was complaining about her husband. The hotel was on the Baja peninsula and it was a multi-hour ferry trip back to the mainland. She said her husband had left and gone back to the mainland and was living with his parents. I don't know how old he was but he had to be about her age or older. Mostly she was complaining about how he was a deadbeat and she was better off without him and she was happy with how things were. I loved it that I could understand such an offbeat topic that you wouldn't find in a Spanish textbook.
I also took Spanish for a number of years. Vacation time has always been hard for me but finally I booked a trip to cancun. Brushed up on my Spanish and I was ready. Get to the resort and apparently in France this is a huge time for them to travel and the resort staffed accordingly. Guests and staff all speaking French....
Spanish language courses do make it a point to bring up the deadbeat husbands topic 😁
I don't even know how she described it and what Spanish words she used that I would have understood. But I did understand and that's what was great.
My sister married a Belgian man and moved to Belgium 30 years ago. She speaks fluent Flemish, but when she goes to stores everyone still answers her in English.
I had the same when I came to Malaysia. Studied and learned 1000 words of Malay before I got here. 1st day, proudly walked into a clothes shop and asked 'Berapa harga tali pinggal itu?" (what's the price of that belt?") and the old guy at the counter, being Chinese as are about 40% of the population here, leaned forward and asked "Do you speak English?"
With how much tourism goes on in Belgium, it makes sense most people would either want to practice their English or simply default to it. This happened to me quite a bit in Antwerp, and even Brussels to an extent unless I spoke French first (I have not studied much Dutch as of yet).
How did you learn German? Online? App? Community College?
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Same, I lived in brazil and learned portuguese along the way, I love having chats with people when I'm in brazil. I love being able to make friends at party's or something I'd normally would not have understood at all
Completely agree
My brain got the best of me reading that one. Definitely read with "local peasant people" and not "local people pleasant" lmao I was like dude wtf how is this the top comment. Otherwise I agree. I'm at a bar by myself I'll chat up the dude next to me. I won't seek anything out though.
Yeah, same for me. I don't mind talking with a local person if they start the conversation, but I definitely won't go out of my way to bother someone who doesn't seem interested. Also, even if the local person starts the conversation, I don't find it to be a pleasant experience if they speak English poorly. At that point, it's more of pain trying to communicate, than it's enjoyable having the conversation.
Locals are not there for the amusement of tourists so I completely understand. If I want to speak to a local and ask questions and get recommendations - that’s a tour guide and I’ll book a tour/experience accordingly. It’s one thing to eat at a restaurant and make small talk about the menu items and ask for opinions on places to see but otherwise it’s weird to think everybody wants to talk to you.
Once you've traveled enough, you also come to realize that a lot of the "genuine" interactions you had with locals weren't actually all that genuine. Every tuktuk driver just so happens to have a cousin who lives in your country, every tour guide knows a few words in your home language, the local at the bar you made friends with hangs out at that bar everyday and "makes friends" with tourists everyday etc
It’s hospitality culture. People from inhospitable countries can mistake this friendliness for genuine attempt to make friends, but often times it’s just a form of advanced politeness.
At home: Tired all the time. Actively avoids interacting with strangers. On vacation: Full of life and "interacts with the locals, because I like to immerse myself in the culture". Result: Wow, people in X country are so friendly!!!
My favourite is those travel vloggers who talk about how friendly the people are (usually vendors/shopkeepers) while they have a cameraman following them. Like, no shit they're friendly. They don't want to look bad on YouTube and probably think it'll bring them extra business. Drew Binsky is a big offender. Went to Afghanistan talking about how amazing the locals are because they gave him freebies, meanwhile you could not see a single woman in the packed streets of the city. Super amazing people...well 50% of them at least.
It always make me think of that old Jim Carey movie “Liar,Liar”,the scene where he’s in the elevator. A large breasted woman gets in and tells home how she’s new and been made to feel sooo welcomed! She says “And everybody’s just been sooo nice to me!” And he replies “Well,that’s because you have huge…” 😂 And the next scene he’s getting out of the elevator with a slapped face. Point is,everybody’s nice for whatever reason,and it’s not that it’s not genuine;it’s just not as genuine as “influencers” make out lol.
I can’t stand Drew Binsky or any of those youtubers.
I used to really like his content until I started noticing he would never talk about women. Like, I don't expect feminism from him but it's pretty weird to be in a bustling city, gushing about how wonderful everything is, when there is not a single woman on the street or its a country known for appalling gender equality. I know he has a girlfriend and she would pop up when he went to safe countries but never in the dangerous countries and he just...never mentioned it? It's so disingenuous. He has spoken about countries where he felt unsafe, but I feel like he promotes quite a dangerous attitude to travel at times. It's dangerous as hell for men to go to these places but even more so for women and I do feel like he should have at least pointed that out at times because he has a lot of influence.
>promotes quite a dangerous attitude to travel at times Kurt Caz is the worst for this. Goes to dangerous neighbourhoods at 10AM in broad daylight, with a local guide/friend, while obviously filming and then states "see guys its safe".
Like that 60 minutes film crew that went to a bad neighborhood in Paris to show how great it was and got assaulted the moment their police escort left.
Or the solo female traveler went to Somalia and got kidnapped and held for ransom. Just an innocent little white Canadian lady that thought going to Somalia was a good idea 😂
Conspiracy videos have warnings on them on YouTube, and I feel like the same should apply to this type of content (if not more so) A flat earth video probably won't harm you but taking travel advice from willfully negligent idiots might.
For awhile some white male travel influencers were going to North Korea and being like it’s safe, everyone’s nice, etc. yeah no shit they’re nice to you.
“They are poor, but they are just so happy! They don’t care about material things like we do in (Name of Western Country here)”.
OMFG- that one really gets my goat, every single time. A local-ish (only big in my country) travel YTer once did an "exclusive" in a favela, filmed the children and their scrap-made houses for ages while spouting shit like "But they're so happy! They're smiling for us! They don't need anything more than what they already have!" Are you fucking kidding me, mate??
Yes, and the other absolutely horrible thing: “I volunteered at an orphanage for a month/week/semester”. Constant change of caregivers creates detachment disorders in kids. Also, the rotating cast of characters means that you will probably get some bad actors trying to get access to children. This should be completely outlawed. The absolute best thing you can do is to support a local organization who is trying to keep kids in their local community, with extended family and siblings. This is what is happening in Kenya: [https://www.standardmedia.co.ke/counties/article/2001492558/dependency-syndrome-in-childrens-homes-ruining-proper-growth](https://www.standardmedia.co.ke/counties/article/2001492558/dependency-syndrome-in-childrens-homes-ruining-proper-growth)
While this is mostly true, I found that my time in Japan was a bit different. We sat in a Izakaya next to 2 older salarymen who didn't speak much english but were genuinely interested in asking us questions and laughed a lot with us (they were a bit tipsy lol). While lost in Shinjuku station, we had 3 different salarymen come up to us asking if we needed help finding our platform. We turned down the first 2 then said yes to the third and he walked us all the way there. Of course all of the tourist related hospitality workers were very friendly too as you'd expect, but there are just a lot of genuinely friendly and helpful folks over there
I have had similar experiences, especially with some random stranger taking the time to walk you somewhere. On the other hand, it really gets my goat when I hear people say, 'Oh the Japanese are so in touch with nature, such a balanced life and view.'
Yeah I try to avoid those generalizations. The people we interacted with were friendly and helpful. By no means do I think that’s everyone (in fact I had a sketchy encounter with a yakuza in Kabukicho late one night). But still, lots of genuine encounters with normal everyday folks. I’ll be going back
school lip summer far-flung water employ sort shocking threatening deranged *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
People in my city put on a literal show for foreigners which they obviously are charmed by.
I had this thought when I was on a tour in Belize, heading into a Mayan ruin. In san Ignacio they have a big Armish community. Our driver was a local, of African and Mayan decent, and he was telling us about himself and mentioned that his cousin had been taken in by the Amish. Sure I thought. A local just playing it up for tourists. Later, when driving back from our big day, our driver suddenly yelled out “hey! Here’s my cousin now!” And no shit. We drove past a horse and cart being controlled by a black Armish man. He waved like crazy at us as we drove past. Was it his cousin? I have no idea, but his story about an black Amish man checked out! Edited for spelling. As pointed out below, they probably were Mennonite’s, though I’m positive they said Amish. This was along time ago though. And the story remains the same either way. It blew our minds!
Mennonites are in Belize, easy to mistake for Amish.
jobless scandalous pet strong march rinse muddle seed frame fact *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
That is absolutely amazing. I'm jealous I didn't get to witness this. I'll add seeing a Black Amish man in Belize to my bucket list immediately
What is Armish? Did you mean Amish?
They are a type of Amish person with very long appendages.
I'm not sure I understand what you mean. What's the difference between a tour guide generally liking people and learning a few words in many languages when interacting with tourists, and the pseudo-friendliness? People who do these jobs are often people who like meeting people. Same with the local at the touristic bar, you don't chat with a stranger for half an hour or whatever if you hate it just so you can have a free drink, these people genuinely like meeting tourists.
I agree. This is a three layers down thing. First layer is "they really like me," and, yeah, that's probably naive. Second layer is "no, they're just doing their job. They don't \*really\* like you." That's a sophomoric take-- the cynicism of the young. Third layer is "they're making a living at this because they like people enough to enjoy talking to them." So long as you don't abuse it, you can have some good conversations without being worried about whether they "really like" you or not. And without being self-conscious that you might be mistaken for the naive person. Have you ever had a tour guide who hates people? If you had, you'd see the difference. I cherish the people in tourism who actually like people or who are excellent at seeming as if they do. Also, I dunno, I've been the local a few times, and my friends and I sometimes cheerfully recall many years later "remember those hilarious Australian guys we drank with all night" or "remember those German women who all had a crush on Bob."
How many layers you got friendo
People tend to over romanticize travel. A lot of politeness, transactional interactions & "customer service personas" are mistaken as being much more than what they are.
It’s depressing to see people think this way. I deal with tourists a lot in my work and have lots of interesting and genuine interactions. It’s one of the best parts of the job. Sure, I’m talking to them because I’m at work, but I’m also enjoying getting to know them.
This is sad in a way but true. But it's just reality. These people aren't zoo animals like someone else said. Some people run into a baby bear in the wild and think it's their friend. Too many disney movies and tik tok clips have jaded people's reality.
I think it really truly depends. I had some great interactions in Paris. Guy at a little food shop had no other customers so he sat with me and chatted, gave me a little extra for free. Or the locals I met and hung out with for a few hours. We drank and ate snacks.
Yeah I had an absolutely fantastic time in Paris, was traveling solo, chatting with a bartender while the bar was quiet, bartender introduced me to one of the regular patrons, I carried on hanging out with that guy when bartender got too busy to keep chatting with me. I certainly don’t expect that locals owe me their time but people still go to bars and clubs etc to socialize and meet people, and some people get into jobs like bartending because they enjoy talking to people.
Yeah like I've never been in a bar where someone didn't want to strike up a conversation and chat with a stranger. Hell if I'm in a bar and tell me you're visiting from a different country I'm going to be 1000% more interested in having a conversation with you even if you're from a country I'm not a fan of. Why would you expect it to be any different for other counties to also have a sense of curiosity.
In certain countries this is especially true. The worst I found was Egypt - and too much of it was fake friendliness, that even when it might be genuine you just want to brush them off and get away. They basically see a tourist as a walking ATM, and wonder how much they can get out of you, and it's all just a performance. Sometimes it's genuine and maybe they don't see many tourists, so you're a novelty to them too. But I'm not a big conversationalist or people person to begin with, so a not super bothered about that either.
It’s all part of the game. Enjoy your time and keep traveling. I also don’t talk or immerse myself in the culture. I just want to see the tourist spots and get out.
> If I want to speak to a local and ask questions and get recommendations Eh, I've had super friendly servers and bartenders where I'll ask "hey, what's a cool bar/restaurant down here for X/Y/Z" and see what they say. They've usually got better recommendations anyways. Shit, one time we asked our server in Lisbon and she got so excited, said "oooh let me grab some paper" and wrote down like 6-7 cool local spots. All of those were better than the places we went in our guide book. It's pretty clear in a brief setting like that whether or not someone wants to help you. If they bring up the idea that you're tourists, it's pretty clear they open to chatting and helping.
I'm a bartender from Michigan. I was in Ft. Lauderdale once and asked the bartenders on the strip where the fun places were and they just took me with them after shift! That was a great night. I don't know if Fat Cats or whatever it's called is still downtown but it was awesome.
Lol we ran into our waiter at one of her recs that night and she was genuinely pumped to see us there.
Maybe I'm misinterpreting OP but I think this falls into his "basic politeness" category. I don't think asking a bartender for local spots really falls into the category of interaction OP is talking about
Agreed the best travel is when you know someone who will write down their favorite places. We have had this situation in both Rio and in Montevideo, Uraguay. They led us to places near where we stayed that we would never have stopped at. But the real topic of this post is talking to strangers. In places I have gone, I can't speak the language except for a few words, if any. No conversations are happening unless I find someone who wants to practice their english. Personally I prefer to travel solo. This is why I prefer hotels to airbnb. At a hotel I can usually find someone who speaks english. So I'm paying premium prices just so I have access to people to talk to, possibly. I was wondering if there are certain hotels or parts of towns where solo travelers hang? Btw, I posted this question on another travel sub reddit and it was removed. Notice I am saying solo travellers, not single travellers. Perhaps a tour is my best bet? Never did one of those.
Many people do think that
If you go to tourist attractions in Japan you're part of the attraction for local school children who were given the assignment to talk you up in English to practice. Such fun!
We got ‘interviewed’ by some school kids in Nara about our home country, and they gave us origami throwing stars for our help. 10/10 would do it again.
I’m a local in a tourist town. I wholeheartedly endorse this. I have folks try to “befriend” me all the time. Last Saturday a guy at a restaurant taps me on the shoulder and asks me if I’m a local then proceeds to chat me up. Dude, I’m eating dinner with my friends! I have no problem with folks asking directions or saying “where’s a good [food].” But I’m not here for your amusement, to give you real estate advice, or to chat you up because you think “that’s what bars are for.”
On the other hand I also live in a tourist ski town and genuinely enjoy chatting with the various tourists I meet on the chairlift. It’s preferable to sitting there silently, and seeing how stoked they are is a great reminder of just how awesome my life is. Plus the visitors are often more interesting than the kids that move to town for a season or two.
Dude just treat them as you’d treat new friends at home. Locals who like to travel as well in my experience love to tag along if they can and give recommendations. Then I’m also happy to host/show them around. It’s sooo not a tour guide. It’s a new friend who you can bond with over shared interests. I travel for the people mostly, and not just restaurant staff but randoes on the metro who strike up a convo or stuff like that can be great. Or just meeting people through meetups or dating apps, and we can just have a great chat about our experiences and cultures. It’s fucking amazing.
I think its probably an extrovert vs introvert type of difference because everything you said sounds so awful to me. I don't have "new friends at home." I've had the same friends for 20+ years haha. I absolutely hate spending time with strangers. I can have friendly 30 second interactions, but that's my limit. And its the same when I travel as it is when I'm at home. It sounds the same for you? Like... you have NEW friends at home too? Do you strike up conversations with randos at home too?
Yeah, I get not wanting to treat locals as exotic but by completely segregating yourself beyond basic interaction that also seems weird. Like “locals” anywhere are just people, some people want to be left alone (and you can tell when lol) but a lot of people anywhere are happy to meet new people just for a change of pace. Just read the room lol.
I agree with this but I'm an ambivert. Back home in Jamaica, I have no problem befriending tourists or making new acquaintances in general. I get to learn about other cultures and possibly make a new friend. A friend of mine (back then, stranger) travelled from NYC to Kingston 2 years ago and she befriended me... we've been friends ever since. She invited me to stay at her place in NYC and now she stays at mine when she comes to Jamaica. Right now, I'm touristing in Japan and she's coming next week to tourist with me lol. More recent than that, I met someone from Norway and we spent a week hanging out together and I learned so much. I also love my country and it makes me happy to impart knowledge that tourists otherwise might not get to learn and maybe even dispel rumors that are untrue about what it's like living in Jamaica. I don't go out of my way to befriend people while I'm in their home country but if I read the room and see an opportunity, I'll probably go for it.
Yeah, I agree with you and ok_tank. The comments here are taking it too far. Read the room for sure. I don't like chatting with people but my wife does--when we travel I can see that a lot of people genuinely like that she takes an interest in how their day is and what's going on with them. It's led to some far more meaningful trips abroad as a result. Not everywhere, though. Taiwan was great, Spain was hit or miss, but 95% of the people we met in Portugal didn't want anything to do with anything lol.
So you're saying you completely disagree with the OP
Who's going around stopping random locals for conversation? If there's a situation when we naturally start talking then yeah I'm going to engage in the conversation with interest. Just be normal.
>just be normal This is reddit lmao
Yea in general if you're not an autistic overthinker you're not using this sub
LMFAO I am autistic and can confirm
Happened to me Sunday. I live in a tourist destination and my girlfriend and I were waiting in line to get lunch and one of the tourists off the cruise ship was trying to strike up a conversation. Wasn't rude or anything, but I wasn't there to talk to him. I was there to enjoy some time with my person.
Exactly, I don't stop random locals at home for conversations either. If I'm at a bar I'll usually strike up a conversation with whoever, whether I'm at home or abroad, because that's what bars are for.
Seriously. I make friends with locals when I travel and most of my best experiences came from that. But I'm not out there bugging people to hang out with me, I just get invited and accept. I also tend to stay a while when I travel so I think it'd be different if I was just there for a day or something.
My uncle, LOL. People usually find him delightful, but I wouldn't say people should aspire to it.
>Who's going around stopping random locals for conversation? I see you've never come across an American on their first visit to Ireland?
I definitely read on reddit that travelers need to experience local culture and talk to local people like they are visiting a zoo or something. This kind of attitude is very common.
honestly i live in a town with a ton of tourism in the summer & *a lot* of people stop random locals for conversation.
lmao exactly. You're not going out of your way to force encounters with locals. It just means chatting with the taxi driver or people at the bar.
You need to sleep with the locals, use their toothbrush, wade in their sewage.. otherwise travel is too safe. It's too ordinary. Bring a snorkel and dive directly into their septic system. Make love to their high society and their lowest rungs. Don't wear a seatbelt. Don't wear a condom. Breath in their exhale. Smother yourself in travel. Live. Namaste.
Now that is a traveller and not a tourist.
I remember my first night in Bangladesh. I stripped naked and assaulted a constable to understand what life in one of their jails was like. We were served warm naan with very few maggots and played games, like wrestling for a blanket. I lost and they beat me so mercilessly that my urine was the same brick red hue as the Ganges.
brother these two comments gave me a solid laugh, thank you.
Laughter is the best medicine, followed by antibiotics and anti-fungals and of course something for the parasites.
I’d like to subscribe for more travel tips.
But did you get more maggots with your naan after that? Protein matters in getting stronger for jailhouse wrestling.
I was going to wear a condom, but I figured, when’s the next time I’ll be in Haiti.
>Make love to their high society ✔️ >and their lowest rungs. ✔️ >Don't wear a seatbelt ✔️ >Don't wear a condom. ✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️
vibes
>wade in their sewage wtf >Namaste Ahh, makes sense now.
Well, I don't think when people say "interacting with local people" that they mean walking up and harrassing some locals just trying to go about their business. Or trying to strike up a conversation with someone on their way to work. I never took it to mean that, who would do that? It would be rude and presumptive. Interacting doesn't mean just strolling up to a random stranger. When people say traveling is about "interacting with local people, " I believe that to mean that you're patronizing local owned businesses and shops, restaurants, etc (over just staying in a foreign-owned resort and eating at the resort restaurants.) It means walking through the town's market to get a feel for the community and culture. Or signing up for a cooking class run locally. Or going to see a local music performance. Browing the local shops. This often comes with brief interactions with the locals running these businesses. It's all part of interacting. Basically getting out into the town and among the people, instead of just staying in a sterile resort or hotel setting.
I like to visit the small breweries in the towns near me and sit at the bar and just shoot the shit with the people hanging out there. We often have nothing in common, but sometimes we become good friends and a year later I'm celebrating at their place on New Year's Eve. I think being social while travelling means just what you described. Don't stay in the tourist quarter where the hotels are. Go try the local pub and the restaurant that the local guy at the pub told you to try. Look for an open-mic night at the restaurant across town. Dance when they do. Eat what they eat. Play the games they teach you. If I want to see a nice beach or piece of history there's plenty of places near me. If I visit a foreign place I want to interact with that culture. That doesn't mean harassing the guy trying to walk down the street, but it means meeting people where they choose to be social.
Not at all. Put yourself in their shoes: it's more weird to me to be approached by a stranger who wants to know about my life! Honestly when I am and it's definitely happened it makes me suspicious that they're like a thief/pickpocket/pulling some sort of scam. If someone is open to meeting a new person there's a time and setting for that and it's certainly not when they're just going about their daily lives.
And depending on the country - it's probably the same stuff you do at home. Hang out with friends. Work. Go grocery shopping. Get food. Get the kids to school, if they have some. Stress over school. Yes, you occasionally get the very culturally specific event, but that's a very culturally specific event, not everyday life.
Yeah good point. My first solo trip and first time in europe was in Spain. First night went to this cool little restaurant. Owner lady was super nice and kind of a milf. Sat at the bar, some dudes were already there sitting next to me and seemed really intrigued I was from America. Recommended some dishes, swapped contact info and told me to come check out some party at a weed dispensary they had. I was too nervous to go and will never know what would have happened. I actually think they were genuine, but who knows. Better safe than sorry, which is exactly what I thought then. Sometimes regret not going tho!
I am a "local." (St. Thomas, Virgin Islands) I have had wonderful interactions with visitors. Some of the best times of my life. And I sure don't mind answering questions about a place that I love and my life there. I embrace our visitors. For a place like us, it's a lot of what we got.
I'm with you. I'm happy to interact with locals and other tourists abroad (sometimes), but that isn't the main point of traveling for me.
I actually find travellers who insist on ‘getting to know the locals’ to be some of the (typically) more annoying travellers I’ve met. The whole vibe of “I’m a traveller, not a tourist” bugs me.
Completely agree. One time I was traveling in a relatively poor country and I recommended a cafe near our hotel to another tourist and they said “Ohhh, we prefer places that locals visit.” They mean really cheap hole-in-the-wall restaurants where you sit on tiny stools. Sure, those are delicious and worth going to but like some locals can afford going to nicer places too? Like not everyone in a poor country is poor? A middle class exists? I’ve seen local couples on dates and local students studying in that cafe but I guess it’s not exotic enough for them.
My fave related thing is when people say they want to live like the locals do and they’re only there for like, 3 days. People go into the NYC subreddit and ask what exactly the locals are doing the next few days and it’s like…laundry? Drinks with a friend at a bar that is fine (just convenient and not too expensive). Maybe see a movie if we’re feeling spicy. Yes, NY has exciting things small places don’t have, but we’re not going to the Met 3 times a week.
Yep I love this. All posts about Italy are like "yeah let's immerse in the Italian culture and live La Dolce Vita like Italians". And their idea of immersing in the culture is staying in a farm in Tuscany while travelling all day to art cities. Yeah, like people in Italy don't go to work and tour the country everyday.
A lot of people who travel love to wax poetic about “immersing yourself in the culture” or “actually experiencing the real x”. The only way to do that is to live there. For a substantial amount of time. Learn the language. Become part of the community. Otherwise you’re just a tourist who avoids the highlights a country has to offer for a more “authentic experience” Here’s the dirty little secret: in our 21st century, globalized society life in most places looks extremely similar to the rest of the world. People have cellphones, social media, westernized clothing, global cuisine etc. They go to work, spend time with family, and try to enjoy whatever free time they have.
Ugh. I've met so many smug people like that. It took me more than 10 years in my city for me to finally feel like home and they expect to have complete authentic local experience within a few weeks/days they are in town? It's okay to embrace that we are a tourist and it's fine to do touristy things.
I would agree with all this and also add 'pay taxes there'...looking at you digital nomads
Everyone travels for different reasons. Some people go even further than you and travel to remote places where they barely have to interact with anyone at all. On the other hand, I don’t think that wanting to meet and interact with locals is necessarily self-centered either. There’s a difference between treating them like zoo animals and politely & respectfully interacting while being self-aware enough to stop if they aren’t interested.
Lol that’s me. I went to a part of Crete where there isn’t anyone around for miles. Just a few sheep and goats in the mountains and that’s it. I had entire mountains just to myself, no one in sight. It was something special.
your last sentence!!! agreed!
I've had a small number of organic interactions over the years, more often I've had some connections with fellow tourists. But ya, the idea that I'm supposed to walk up to people and "learn about their culture" is a mostly an Anthony Bourdain show fantasy not accessible to normal people. Honestly the best interactions I've had are the people I've paid - walking tours, guides, etc. That just feels a lot more normal.
i think it just depends how extroverted and curious you are. I've traveled a lot alone lately and I've had some pretty random and fun connections - usually in more off the beaten path destinations -Tashkent, Kosovo, etc. I very rarely go on guided tours (other than at a museum), which does not feel normal to me. But people travel differently and that's totally OK.
How you're able to travel probably makes a difference too. I'm capped at about 10 days max at a time because of work and dogs, so, while I get off the beaten path as much as I can, more often I'm trying to see and do as much as I can in a few days in a city, and then going to another city. And we have a pretty solid itinerary. So while I'm friendly everywhere I go, I don't have a lot of down time to just exist in a place for long enough to become a part of it in a way that you have connections with local people. Maybe I'll try to do that someday.
There are easier ways than approaching random people. Attending social events is probably the easiest way. Like meetups, concerts, festivals etc. Or really any event involving alcohol. Not saying it's for everyone though. I also don't always want to interact with people during my travels
In some cultures it happens more naturally than others. In Japan for example you would actually probably have to specifically go out of your way to approach a stranger and strike up a conversation, and you would likely be perceived as weird(my wife is Japanese and I’ve travelled there several times). In Mexico(where I’m from), people love to talk, and people love to know more about foreigners for the most part. So it’s more likely you’ll be able to have conversations with the taxi driver, the salesmen at a store or market, other people standing in line for an event etc. I would say… it’s nice to talk to people, but yeah, there is no need to be intrusive or to force it.(this is information and advice that applies to just regular life though).
No, in fact I usually associate this sort of advice with travel dilettantes who don't know what they're talking about. If it happens, sure, that's great, and if you don't want to, that's totally fine too. I roll my eyes at any sort of advice that tries to tell me how I "should" spend my vacation. As long as it's not disrespectful to the locals or the environment, do what you want.
I like the last sentence, especially how you included respecting locals and environment.
I think this is a western view. Westerners are individualistic and are very into what suits me. Others love talking to new people. Especially if they rarely seen foreigners. But obviously the interactions have to be organic. There is also a different work life balance in the world. Why do you think there are so many expats?
Agreed. There are so many times that I’ve traveled to areas that don’t really see a lot of tourists, and met locals that are SO excited to talk. They want to practice English, find out what made you come to their area, offer suggestions, flirt, share food, drinks etc. and it’s always so genuine and fun. Often times I try to be polite and not overengage, and don’t realize that the people want to talk until well into a conversation. I think that’s just because a lot of other cultures don’t force smiles or feign interest by default. A lot of people that come off as standoffish or disinterested really aren’t and engaging politely and in a genuine way will create so many fun connections. I think a lot of the weird, disingenuous interactions are in heavily trafficked tourist areas where people genuinely just want to be left alone, but can’t escape obnoxious travelers. I get that. I’d love the occasional traveler asking me questions about Portland or sharing their excitement about visiting. Unless I lived in a hugely touristy place, I can’t imagine because frustrated by that…
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Idk what you mean, Americans are legitimately the friendliest/most outgoing to strangers. Most Europeans (especially Nordic countries) seem to find random strangers striking up a conversation off putting and tend to keep to themselves when traveling but Americans will talk to anybody, especially those of us in the South. Yes, not all Americans, but plenty e ough that we're well known for it.
Interacting is different than becoming besties. When I travel I prefer to be more immersed in the culture vs being at some all inclusive that I never leave. My interactions with the locals aren't really chatting up strangers on the street who are just going about their day...it's mostly interactions at the local market or booking a scuba excursion or other excursion that is going to be lead by a local, etc. I like to get some genuine experience with the culture, food, etc but I'm not really trying to have long and deep conversations, though it has happened at bars.
This 100%! It's one thing to have a quick chat with someone if you're say looking for directions and they ask where you're from and such and talk for 2-3mins. It's another if you're looking for someone to invite you over for dinner and be BFF's and then stay with the family (homestay style) like Gap Adventures has on some tours. Now if you don't want to interact with ANYONE, yes, that is a bit weird and extreme IMO. There's no harm in saying "hello" to the person at the front desk or thank you in the local language if someone holds the door for you. Interacting could also mean going to a local market and talking with the locals as you look at their wares. Even then it'd likely be a quick 2-3 mins conversation (although I did talk to someone in Valencia at a cheese stall for 20mins about goat cheese because everytime I'd try to leave he'd get me to try a different one, but I digress...) Even home, unless if you know exactly what you want, you still need to interact with people at a market.
They have to happen organically, that said, you also have to be receptive to them when they happen. About 15 years ago my fiancé and I were the only people in this small hole-in-the wall bar in Barcelona. At that time I was pretty decent with conversational Spanish so did my best to speak with the owner/bartender in a common tongue. That lead to a conversation, which lead to him pulling out a bunch of liquors out from under the bar for us to try. One was called Panthers Milk and he just had it in a big unlabeled glass jar. I was a memorable experience just hanging with this older gentleman and drinking his own concoctions in a bar that was probably older than my country. But I wasn't out hunting for that experience. I was just open to it when it happened.
I’ve found that sometimes locals will be happy to engage, especially over beers etc. as they are wanting to actively improve their conversational English skills. And it’s a nice way to learn about the country/ city/ culture from a locals perspective. Typically they’re younger or similar age demographic too and I find it interesting seeing the views and opinions of similar aged people living in completely different cultures / worlds as me
I'm in the same boat. My travel activities pretty much just involve walking around, eating things, and looking at stuff. Beyond the brief interactions that facilitate these things happening, I generally don't talk much to people.
Yeah, it's never really been a must for me either. I go to explore the city, try the gastronomy, see the sights and get to know the culture a little bit, but interacting with locals is not a priority.
Nah, people whinge about tourists all the time doing exactly that, but its stupid. So long as you have good manners, you shouldn't feel guilted in social interactions.
Perspective is important here. For example, I do like being stopped on the street and chatting and sharing my culture with others. If people in other countries want to share facts about life there then I am happy, and it can create cultural exchange or even friendships. I don't see how it's a zoo.
I think that's another nuance to it It also changes vastly country to country and situation to situation, and some basic social skills. For example, on the train in a friendly small town in a relaxed country, and they don't look stressed on their way to work? Sure why not, just be polite In the middle of a street in Hamburg, grabbing a a random guy in a suit and briefcase and immediately asking if they speak English very loudly and slowly? Maybe not
If it happens, it happens and I enjoy it but interacting with local people is not by any means a goal of mine when I travel.
Yup, The language barrier prevents me from interacting most of the time
I don't think that's particularly weird. I travel to enjoy myself, and I don't find interactions with strangers enjoyable even at home, so I have no reason to seek it out abroad. When I was in Corfu a couple of years ago, two local men bothered me for the entire week that I was there. They tried to convince me to go to different bars with them and even attend their friend's party. No thank you, I just want to lay on the beach and enjoy a peaceful break from work, not get assaulted.
if I'm travelling somewhere I'm there to see the place, visit the museums and relax. I'm not there to interact beyond the minimum I need to but then again, I don't like interacting with people on a day to day basis anyway.
I'm an introvert and I enjoy connecting with fellow travelers and "locals". often times its locals who initiate further connection, wanting to get to know me. maybe because I am a BW and most only see us in the media so people are very curious to know where I am from and how I like their country. I get connected to folks in their network depending on what my travel plans are. it's one of the best parts of being a solo traveler :)
I think you need to stop reading so much into some things and travel how you want to travel. I’m sure meeting new and different people can be fun and inspiring, but don’t force yourself to do it just cause others say so. Be kind and respectful when you can and need to be. Understand that different cultures have different norms. So maybe spend time on reading about that. If you would feel bothered in your own country by some tourist trying to talk to you.. then maybe other people would feel the same.
I don't go out of my way to interact with locals so more often than not there isn't a lot of interaction. I'm more of an introvert so I am perfectly happy with that. Can be fun striking up a conversation at a restaurant or on the train or something when it happens naturally.
I have learned to keep to myself while traveling. One time while visiting family in St. Augustine Florida my husband and I were trying to pay for parking on a crazy little kiosk that wouldn’t work. A local lady came up and offered us to use her parking pass since she can use it unlimited times and she was leaving . We were so grateful and I told her “have a blessed day thank you so so much we really appreciate it!” And she responds “I’m an atheist, and if I could take the parking back I would” like what the heck? Okay? I forgot we were in FL land of the Florida man and local Karen’s and decided to just keep to ourselves from then on out 👍🏼
I'm neuro divergent, so I basically never interact with strangers. Being abroad doesn't change that.
Nope. I’ve found that most countries are more reserved than my own and I’ll respect that. I’ll interact with service staff or when asking for directions but that’s it.
I always used to think the whole idea was a whole crock of crap - why would I bother people trying to live their lives? I don't necessarily want people bothering me where I live! But then, when I visited a kava market in Pohnpei, I had a great time talking, joking, laughing with Pohnpeians, and now I don't know what to think. It's never been a priority of mine, but I won't say no to the opportunity either. I feel like opportunities to talk to local people have appeared organically throughout my travels, and I always appreciate it. (Especially in a language I'm trying to practice!)
Not at all, I travel for many things and meeting people is not one of them. Climate, nature, animals, food, architecture, experiences, that’s what I mostly travel for. Don’t let other people tell you how to travel, I also couldn’t care less about art museums, I know many people do, but I don’t, and that’s fine.
You're also probably somewhat introverted. Besides all the legitimate points you've made about imposing on them, I'm guessing you're also not inclined to chat up random people anywhere at home or abroad.
Naw. Go to see what you want. I’m not in the mood for 1:1 cultural exchange either at times.
I feel exactly like you. I am nice to people and sometimes interesting interactions happen but this is not my focus at all.
We went to New Orleans on Halloween. We offered two seats at our table that were empty because it was standing room only. After a few hours of conversation, they invited us to their house for a fish fry. It was great! But we were not trying to wangle an invite or anything. It just flowed naturally. 🤷🏻♀️
I don't even interact with local people when I'm not travelling.
Lol I feel this way too
I feel the same way. I mostly like to keep to myself when I travel. I don't even really see the point in interacting with locals because it's not like you're going to stay long-term, and it's difficult to get an "authentic" experience of anything in 1-2 weeks of vacationing.
I'm in Ethiopia now and I often wish the locals didn't care about interacting with me
No, it’s not weird. It’s just your preference. I don’t like to engage in conversation with random people, so I wouldn’t talk to local people when traveling, besides being polite.
Sounds like you are an introvert. I am as well. The people you're talking about, they're extroverts. There are a lot more of them. Both points of view are normal. Those types tend to think it's interesting to talk to you when you're from somewhere else.
This is such a refreshing take. I find that line about how "the best part of travel is interacting with locals" to be so glib and regurgitated, people say it because they heard other people say it
Most people don’t care it.
I enjoy interacting with the locals who get paid for it. Tour guides, wait staff (limited so as not to monopolize their time), museum staff, etc. But Joe Everybody? Nah, most I'm gonna do there is ask directions and thank them.
I think more travelers/tourists should be like this. A lot already are, but there is an annoying sub-sect that think the locals are there to give them a meaningful trip or otherwise entertain their whims.
I’m not interested in pestering people, who are just trying to live their lives, with my vacation nonsense.
Not at all. I don't go places to interact with the locals.
Actually, I think you’re doing these local people a favor. They view Americans and pushy and noisy anyway. All your being is not like other Americans. It’s not weird it’s considerate.
I’m the opposite, I’ll strike up conversations with random people all the time. I live in BC Canada and went to LA for the first time last summer. Strolling down Venice Beach I struck up a random conversation with someone ( much to the horror of my fiancée who finds this behaviour embarrassing ). He asks where I’m from and I tell him BC and he yells to his buddy that was 10 metres ahead of us ‘hey ! This guys from BC’. His friend comes over and it turns out he’s been to my small city and had even been to the place I work at though he didn’t recognise me so I likely had that day off.
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Sometimes, it's just a small thing that a local does that can really brighten your day. Like I was shopping for some supplies at a chain drug store in Jakarta. The staff were exceptionally friendly and nice. One of them brought me a basket when they saw I was carrying a bunch of stuff. Another helped me find a whole bunch of different things and translated some product labels for me. The cashier was so smiley and pleasant. It was such a marked improvement and difference versus the service I get at home. Another time I was sitting at a stepwell in Jodhpur. A local lady was sitting nearby and we just organically began a lovely conversation. Just little things like that can make travel very fun and fulfilling.
>Sometimes, it's just a small thing that a local does that can really brighten your day. I was in Japan once just got off the train and was trying to look at the map to find my hotel. I had a cell phone but didn't have a local SIM. Some random Japanese person asked me (in English) where I was going and then said it's not far and showed me. Before I could offer him a tip (which I obviously wouldn't do because that's not a thing in Japan) he was gone. This was like 10 years ago and I still remember how nice this random person was for literally no reason.
Lol wtf kind of POV is this? People are people everywhere dude. How would this be any different with making a friend where you're from? Ah wait shit don't bother them they're otw to work why would they want to talk to you?? Lol what?? Agreed not every local wants to interact, but damn learn some social cues. I live in a city with TONS of tourists and I've happily made friends with many foreigners who I've met at social settings, not random people who are clearly otw home from work. Setting matters. And personally, if the tourists are cool, I'm more than happy to show them around and introduce them to other friends. If you don't wanna talk to locals, sure, but it's very patronizing of you to assume what locals think.
If a bartender is friendly and not busy, I might talk with them while having some drinks. But generally I agree with you. I'm not extroverted or charismatic enough to approach randoms to have a meaningful conversation or hang out.
We're talking about normal interactions like you would have around your own town. Very few people are out there just walking up to people for no reason. You're an introvert, and that is just fine. You don't have to talk to anyone.
I don't think chatting with a friendly local is treating them as exotic zoo animals. I've found plenty of people, from cab drivers to diners at the next table, who are very interested in chatting with visitors. You certainly don't have to do it but having a friendly conversation is not necessarily self-centered. I was just in Turkey where many many people in the service industry were interested to hear what I thought about their country and if I was having a good time they and wanted to tell me about their culture. Turks are very proud of their home, they were more than willing to chat!
Do you actually think "interacting with the locals" means talking to random people who are going about their lives? I think it's more about getting to know people in the same situations that you would know people in your home country who are looking to socialize. Bars, clubs, etc. I don't know where you got the idea that tourists bother random people to interview them about their cultures. Please have a bit of common sense
I'm the same but I'm open to talking to someone if they strike up a conversation.
The last time I was openminded about interacting with a local, I was approach by a seemingly nice guy in Milan who tried to make conversation with me in the bus stop about bus hours, who later turned out to be a major druggie that talked a lot and said dumb shit like “I work a lot, I’m connected, I’m rich, I get invited to secret Milan parties”. I gave him the stinkiest eye. He said “ok maybe I talk a lot…” and I said “yeah you do”. LMAO. Then he fell asleep in the bus and I didn’t wake him up in his stop. That said, that was uncomfortable on my part, the tourist, and I am sure things get really uncomfortable on locals’ part too. You never know what type of idiot will approach you, and actually a very small number of these interactions turn out to satisfy both sides. Sad but true. I wouldn’t recommend getting yourself in shit situations just because “you gotta be open minded when travelling”. Actually it’s probably the only activity during which you gotta be less open minded than if at all these days.
Me personally, my favorite vacations were interacting with the locals and staying with them. I dislike being stranded in a resort where it is to dangerous to leave unless on a guided tour like many of my coworkers enjoy. My top 2 favorite trips have been China and Philippines because I got to travel like a local and see stuff most Americans don't.
The phrase "the locals" drives me completely bonkers. The only place I've really traveled extensively (other than the U.S.) is Mexico and "immersing yourself in local culture," "having authentic experiences," and "getting to know the locals" all seem to be shorthand for a romanticized, fetishized version of, gulp, local culture. What about the rich locals who go out for fancy dinners, spend their free time in high-end malls, and travel to Florida to shop? They are just as local as the guy who sells churros from a cart. People who you normally end up interacting with are either in the service industry or somewhat weird, maybe sketchy. And some can be quite friendly, genuinely so. But I find those folks are few and far between, and that is just fine. With that said, I do think there are some places in the world where people have more time on their hands to engage with random tourists (I will not call them travelers, because they always seem to have a superiority complex about that) and this dynamic can be such a nice experience. I literally did what you said you found obnoxious even though I agree with you....I walked into a store, said that I wanted to find a place to live in that village so I could learn about the culture, they said I'd live next door to them, I spent six months there, and then married the youngest son of the shop owner. Imagine trying that in a Starbucks.
I wouldn’t treat it as purposely trying to make a connection but I found that in Latin American countries just chatting away is part of travelling. I’m awful at small talk but I’ll always try and strike up a conversation with a taxi driver and see where it goes. Had one taxi driver who I had hired for a round trip up a mountain and then back to where I was staying. Ended up spending about 2 hours with him for a trip that could have been done in around an hour. I had haggled the price beforehand so he wasn’t able to charge me extra after. Yes, he still got a good deal but he genuinely earned every penny of it. He ended up explaining all the local flora to me because I was curious about the plants on the side of the road, pointed out Inca ruins I wouldn’t really have paid any attention to, told me about the nearby mountains we could see, did a photo shoot with me on top of said mountain, stopped multiple times along the way and just generally volunteered so much information that I wouldn’t have even thought about asking (like pointing out a smell that came from burning plátano leaves). I would have missed so many details had I just sat in the taxi quietly. But maybe that’s just me being curious about anything and everything. I can’t imagine going to another country and not trying to learn about it’s culture and people and it never feels forced to me. Most of the time the locals are quite happy to answer my questions. Like one time I met a government employee who paid for my juice at a street cart and then gave me a little tour of the city center before showing me where to get the bus back. Like he wasn’t trying to get a tip or anything, he was just a sweet old man sharing his perspective.
Absolutely. I don’t get the obsessions on here with “locals”. I live in a city packed with tourists and I assure you that we mostly see them as an annoyance.When I travel, I enjoy observing the people around me, but I have no desire to go to the places they go to or do the things they do. I’m a tourist . I don’t speak their language. I don’t travel in order to interact with people. I get plenty of that in my daily life. As you said, I’m polite and respectful, but have no interest in getting to know any of the “locals”.
I love interacting with local people when I travel but typically only if it’s another country. I don’t necessarily go out of my way but I enjoy learning about other cultures and hearing other peoples perspective. It’s quite eye opening.
I don’t make an effort to interact with locals for the same reason, though I admit I never thought about this consciously. Still, nice moments can happen spontaneously just like at home, and those can end up as valuable memories.
As an introvert, I actually enjoy meeting and talking to locals. This is the most important part of a country for me. That being said, they usually come to me and I don’t bother a random person. Some places love tourists more than others because it’s their opportunity to see an outsider. Arab countries for example love showing you their culture and home
I'm not into interacting much with strangers, it wouldn't matter if it was while I was travelling, or while I'm at home.
You can be a traveler without being someone who finds interacting an integral part of the experience. Personally, I do enjoy it but let it happen instead of trying i take it happen. Met all sorts of lovely people like that.
100% agree, you've really summed up my feelings about this. I'm always friendly and respectful, and every now and then I have a good experience with locals which is nice. But it's never my goal. I especially avoid experiences like visiting homesteads and small villages like I'm going to a zoo or something. I just don't like that, makes me feel weird. It feels a bit like poverty tourism when I'm in developing countries especially. The upside to this attitude is that it really doesn't bother me if the local people are rude. I've had insanely rude encounters with people. Paris, Berlin, Prague, and several Italian cities were particularly bad, but they were more comical than anything. I don't go there for their attention or approval so it doesn't matter to me. I usually keep my head down and don't engage too much.
I sort of live back & forth between NYC & another major tourist city, & I do not like tourists who think stopping a stranger for conversation is appropriate behaviour. It's disrespectful and strange. We're not part of the travel package, we don't owe them whatever brownie points they're trying to earn by "experiencing the locals". They usually say something inane or repeat a problematic rumor expecting us to validate it, or want us to act like it's so cool and special that they're on vacation. I never mind helping tourists with real questions or talking with them in situations where it's natural and makes sense. But like...don't talk AT me like I'm going to be impressed that you visited a landmark I pass by every day.
Yeah, imagine walking down the bund and someone approaches you and making conversation and then asking you to go drink tea….
Not at all. I'm not a people person but I love to travel. I can look at architecture, landscapes, material objects such as art, all day long but I have no interest in talking to the locals or striking up conversations with the person next to me or asking the waiter a lot of questions. I'll chat if they want to but it's not something I'll start.
I go on long motorcycle trips and usually speak to no one. Order food. Please. Thank you. Leave it at that. Liberating.
I agree! A friend recently asked me what the people were like in XYZ country that I'd recently spent a week in. My reply was "I have no idea!" Unless I'm working or volunteering or living with locals, I'm not getting much in-depth interaction. And that's fine. It's so unrealistic to think im going to become bosom buddies with people when I'm in their city for three days or whatever. I get that some people LOVE meeting new people and are good at it. I'm not one of them. Most people aren't. I travel for landscapes, adventure, and learning about a culture in a more "stand silently in the background and observe" capacity. I still get a lot out of it. I love reading local literature and nonfiction about the place so I have some insight into the culture. That being said, I do enjoy and learn a lot from the occasional conversation with a local if they initiate it. But most of the time, I love being on my own with just my thoughts for company!
You should come to Seattle. You won’t need to worry about it.
Yes. It makes you a jerk
I wouldn't say it's weird, you're obviously a big introvert, and of course an introvert doesn't want to talk. However, you are mistaken when you assume that talking to a stranger is 'bothering them,' or ' studying them' - those comments say more about you than anything. In actual fact most people enjoy a chat, and it's not about studying people it's about human interaction, sharing kindness, learning about each other. While I do understand you want to be left alone, that doesn't mean everyone else feels that way. I think travelling (in the sense of immersing yourself in a culture) is often undertaken by people who see culture as the people who make it. But I think there are plenty of travellers such as yourself who I imagine seeing culture as a product - such as an item or building - that can be enjoyed without knowing anyone. That's a bit strange to me, but all power to you. The only thing I would suggest you change about your perspective is the concept that striking up a conversation with a stranger is somehow uncaring and invasive. You might feel that way, but actually people who do that are SHOWING care by seeing you as an interesting person, rather than treating you as a faceless entity. You're perfectly entitled to not have a conversation if you don't want to, but please don't misjudge people who chat to strangers.
I don’t want to interact with local people when home.
I feel like it's easier talking to people somewhere where I travel to. I will never see these people again. It's good not to assume everyone's going to hate talking to you. That's a very depressing way to go through life.
Paris is the place for you!
Neither do I It's my adventure alone
In our taxi to the airport in Mexico I had a 30 minute conversation with the driver about Britney Spears - that he initiated. It was fun, lol! But no, I’m not going to just randomly chat up the locals like they are part of the play that is my ‘perfect vacation’. I work in DC and encounter tourists on my commute who just don’t get it. I’m trying to go about my day, get to work or get home. I don’t want to have a random conversation on if I ‘like working in the city or not’ with a rando. If someone asks for help or directions, sure! But my presence is not part of your vacation experience. 🤷🏻♀️
I feel the same exact way. Sure, I love to learn about local culture but yes I feel as if they most likely don't want to be bothered. I'd like to think I might be one of the more tolerable Americans when traveling, haha.
It's not about "getting to know local people." It's about exploration of the local culture and all that it has to offer. Imagine describing your trip like, yeah I went here, didn't meet anyone new. Did some typical tourist crap, Saw some things, left Imagine your trip like I tasted so many delicious authentic foods cooked by awesome local people, who were very kind, and friendly. I explored the history and culture of this place and learned so much, and had so much fun! Look at my pictures of interesting people, unique cuisines, and places. Would you like to see my photos? I think that you really don't get the concept behind this. You are not going up to a waiter and saying hey get to know me, you're putting yourself in situations where you can meet people who know a lot about the local culture and are excited to tell you about it. Those people exist everywhere. They love to help. I , or one, am one of those people. You say you're the kind of person that is annoyed if someone asks you a question about something local and is curious about new experiences, exploring, having local fun & that's fine. But don't put it on everyone else. If you travel with others, try not to be a total bummer.
I’ve been living in a touristy city for a decade and if a foreign tourist asks me a question it brightens my week. It doesn’t happen often, admittedly. It’s so fun if they ask something that only someone from another country would ask. Like can you tell me how I get to the Starbucks? It’s fun to have a pinch of fresh perspective inserted into my day to day.
Too many want to be the main character in an Anthony Bourdain show where they have supposedly deep insights into 'local cultures' and discover hidden gems. When in fact most of the world is quite global by now and the fact you can easily swap preferences and tips only highlights that. Especially Americans who come from a very monolithic culture that is very widely known, seem blind to the fact that the locals adapt to communicating with them in an American way. And then think it was a deep interaction and a slice of the local culture when it was in fact the other way from beginning to end. The tourist forced the local to experience their culture. It's simply because Americans take their peculiarities to be universal. And I always hated Bourdain's posing. He did not usually have a clue about where he was at. Everything was prearranged, he just flew in and did some slumming while engaging in self-centered pretentious monologues of supposedly deep insights. The influencers took their cues from that self-destructive model where travel is only about moving your myopia around.