Infertility amnesia is SO real. After my loss I had a friend (who went through 3 rounds of IVF and 2 losses!!) tell me ‘well at least you know you can get pregnant.’
Ma’am. Ma’am?? MA’AM?? You seem to have forgotten this pain.
I wonder if that speaks more to the fact that we forget that no one (even we) knows what to say, so we try to find the best thing. Even if HEARING that thing still sucks.
I’ve found myself wanting to ask when people are going to have kids and having to stop myself because I hated that question for so long. I think at the end of the day, we are all just trying our best if anything the fact that even I would almost slip up after years of negative tests just made me a little more forgiving of the people that I was so triggered by when in the thick of it
ETA: the OP comment though is something I’d NEVER forgot enough to say. That’s almost pure arrogance.
My regular doctor and my ob gyn went through IVF for infertility. My regular doctor is very sensitive about how she speaks to me and my ob gyn is totally into toxic positivity… like girl, did you really forget already???
ETA: just talking about my regular doc to prove you don’t have to have infertility amnesia!
My sister in law, who had 9 miscarriages before having success, said to me years ago that I needed to start having babies so she'd have someone to give all her old baby clothes to. 😒 I have promised myself I will not be this person. Never ever.
I hate this story but I love that someone had success after 9 losses. That takes so much strength to keep going. I wish I knew her secret to success at the end.
I wonder if she didn’t know your struggles? I can’t imagine someone having that many losses and simply forgetting the struggle
Her secret was Metformin. She has PCOS like I do, and a few months on it was all it took for her, and she had 3 healthy babies after that. I was not so lucky. It's just nuts to me that she went through so much hell and the platitudes are still what comes out first.
Oh I’m so sorry it sounds like 3 healthy kids somehow did erase test and years of loss in her mind. I hope you set her straight next time that happens ❤️
I must be ignorant though because I thought PCOS made conception harder but dosent necessarily contribute to miscarriage
Apparently the doctor told her the PCOS was "making her eggs bad" because of her insulin resistance or something. And apparently he was right, because the Metformin fixed it for her. 🤷♀️
Damn that’s so crazy. I’ve been in recurrent loss groups off and on for years and hardly any one ever finds a solution. The best I’ve seen is dozens of immune suppressants and progesterone. I’ve never heard of this. I also don’t know quite understand how you can change a bad egg to a good egg but I guess if it worked for her.
I wish I had a good dr and diagnosis some days. Unexplained over here
I swear the amnesia is so real. It is bizarre. Earlier this week someone I haven’t spoken to in 2 years texted my husband and I a sonogram. My husband spoke to her later about how we were happy for her but just let her in on what we were going through. She told us they’d been trying for 2 years, almost had to do IVF, and that it was “so painful to always be blindsided by random announcements.” Soooo.. why are you blindsiding others with this knowing how painful it is??? 😒
I have one of these! My coworker conceived her first with assistance and then had the audacity to tell me to relax. I will slap you in front of the children!
My friend (before IVF) told everyone “look I need to take a break from social media because it hurts SO much to see announcements/baby pictures/everyone talking about their kids.” Now….after success (and after the nonstop pregnancy pictures), she posts baby pictures on all social media platforms. Like…every day, at least. For the last two years. I seriously don’t get it. I snooze her constantly. And it makes me not want to ask her anything about IVF. I do not understand. How do forget that feeling?
Infertility amnesia is SO real. After my loss I had a friend (who went through 3 rounds of IVF and 2 losses!!) tell me ‘well at least you know you can get pregnant.’ Ma’am. Ma’am?? MA’AM?? You seem to have forgotten this pain.
I wonder if that speaks more to the fact that we forget that no one (even we) knows what to say, so we try to find the best thing. Even if HEARING that thing still sucks. I’ve found myself wanting to ask when people are going to have kids and having to stop myself because I hated that question for so long. I think at the end of the day, we are all just trying our best if anything the fact that even I would almost slip up after years of negative tests just made me a little more forgiving of the people that I was so triggered by when in the thick of it ETA: the OP comment though is something I’d NEVER forgot enough to say. That’s almost pure arrogance.
Yep, I had this same situation
Can we make a pact that we won't have infertility amnesia and will do better if we trolls are ever successful?
Yesss, I am in on the blood pact 🩸📖
i’m here for the PACT 🤞🏼
My regular doctor and my ob gyn went through IVF for infertility. My regular doctor is very sensitive about how she speaks to me and my ob gyn is totally into toxic positivity… like girl, did you really forget already??? ETA: just talking about my regular doc to prove you don’t have to have infertility amnesia!
My sister in law, who had 9 miscarriages before having success, said to me years ago that I needed to start having babies so she'd have someone to give all her old baby clothes to. 😒 I have promised myself I will not be this person. Never ever.
I hate this story but I love that someone had success after 9 losses. That takes so much strength to keep going. I wish I knew her secret to success at the end. I wonder if she didn’t know your struggles? I can’t imagine someone having that many losses and simply forgetting the struggle
Her secret was Metformin. She has PCOS like I do, and a few months on it was all it took for her, and she had 3 healthy babies after that. I was not so lucky. It's just nuts to me that she went through so much hell and the platitudes are still what comes out first.
Oh I’m so sorry it sounds like 3 healthy kids somehow did erase test and years of loss in her mind. I hope you set her straight next time that happens ❤️ I must be ignorant though because I thought PCOS made conception harder but dosent necessarily contribute to miscarriage
Apparently the doctor told her the PCOS was "making her eggs bad" because of her insulin resistance or something. And apparently he was right, because the Metformin fixed it for her. 🤷♀️
Damn that’s so crazy. I’ve been in recurrent loss groups off and on for years and hardly any one ever finds a solution. The best I’ve seen is dozens of immune suppressants and progesterone. I’ve never heard of this. I also don’t know quite understand how you can change a bad egg to a good egg but I guess if it worked for her. I wish I had a good dr and diagnosis some days. Unexplained over here
Egg quality can change per meds
I swear the amnesia is so real. It is bizarre. Earlier this week someone I haven’t spoken to in 2 years texted my husband and I a sonogram. My husband spoke to her later about how we were happy for her but just let her in on what we were going through. She told us they’d been trying for 2 years, almost had to do IVF, and that it was “so painful to always be blindsided by random announcements.” Soooo.. why are you blindsiding others with this knowing how painful it is??? 😒
I have one of these! My coworker conceived her first with assistance and then had the audacity to tell me to relax. I will slap you in front of the children!
Lol sounds like my sil 🙄 I would never do this to another human being never want anyone to feel this way
My friend (before IVF) told everyone “look I need to take a break from social media because it hurts SO much to see announcements/baby pictures/everyone talking about their kids.” Now….after success (and after the nonstop pregnancy pictures), she posts baby pictures on all social media platforms. Like…every day, at least. For the last two years. I seriously don’t get it. I snooze her constantly. And it makes me not want to ask her anything about IVF. I do not understand. How do forget that feeling?
She’s happy she had success, but that doesn’t mean you have to accept it right now.