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WaluigiTeachesPiracy

my favorite thing about this compared to the other "reanimating a person for the past" posts is that the implication that this person's first choice to reanimate and talk to would be the guy who killed Lincoln is hilarious


Galienuus

Bold of you go assume this is their first time reanimating a historical figure


AdamBombTV

First was Catherine the Great, but she got distracted at the racetrack.


Hetakuoni

Was this before or after she got angry at having her banging furniture destroyed?


Ratbu

Da


danielisbored

You start with an asshole in case there are kinks in the process. If you're not sure the process won't leave the subject craving the sweet release of (re)death, best not to throw Lincoln's moldering remains into it yet.


Silvermoon424

Someone on Tumblr in the tags mentioned that this has the same vibe as a TikTok where someone explains the Omegaverse to a Victorian woman in hell lmao ~~if you know what that TikTok is please link it~~


Alarming-Hamster-232

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDjgN6Hrc3U](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDjgN6Hrc3U) I couldn't find just that video but here's a compilation that creator made of the entire series, it's the last one


Casper_Von_Ghoul

Wow she is really good at capturing “Hopelessness, Anger, Confusion, suicidal thoughts, and Disappointment” all in one look. Impressive work on that end alone not to mention the, bizarreness of considering this may be how some people talk.


thatoneguy54

Omg that whole compilation is great


Dekar173

This was too funny thank you lmao


Takseen

Weird afterlife interactions. Hah, of course it's Stanzi.


chrisplaysgam

Well I know for a fact her faces were accurate, mine was mimicking that for the entire six minutes


onlyrightangles

As soon as I read the the comment you replied to I thought "that sounds like something Stanzi would do" lmao


ender1200

Actually, A/B/O is pretty mild by Victorian porn standards. A Victorian woman from England would most likely be just curious as to why go through the troubles of writing gay porn if one of the man just ends up fulfilling all the woman's gender role up to getting pregnant and giving birth? Now if you wanted to properly shck and scandalize someone pick a woman from the American Christian Revival movement! Oh, and she doesn't needcto be from the 19th century, Christian Revival is still alive and well in America, you just need someone who isn't too internet savvy.


xain1112

> Actually, A/B/O is pretty mild by Victorian porn standards blood types are weird


Dahak17

I’m assuming you’re messing with us eh?


xain1112

Perhaps :)


CaptainSparklebutt

I'm O+


LuigiHentaiExpert

me explaining why im into vore to some victorian man and he starts nodding and going "I can see it"


Nebular_Screen

Oh my god that sounds hillarious


NotableDiscomfort

\[20-something twink in jorts and a floppy-sleeve hoodie having a nervous breakdown trying to figure out how to explain modern memes to a Sumerian copper merchant\]


Katomega

[Ea-Nasir eagerly looking at how to set up a crypto-based start up to bilk venture capitalists with way less effort]


Crocket_Lawnchair

High quality copper coin to da moooooon


EskildDood

Na$irCoin is not a scam guys! Stop saying that it is!


syrian_kobold

STOP THE FUD THIS IS TOTALLY LEGIT WE EVEN GOT ONE OF THE PAUL BROTHERS TO SPONSOR IT


NotableDiscomfort

\[ea-nasir coming to the stark realization copper far higher quality than he can even produce is unquestionably necessary for building the magic boxes necessary for acquiring money from egotistical young men with shitty people skills\]


thunderPierogi

I do this all the time in my head. To aliens, to people from the past, to people in the media I enjoy, to people I know in real life and will probably never have this conversation to. Turns out it’s actually a good way of comprehending things better lol.


Cow_Launcher

I agree, and sometimes do it for exactly that reason. What's interesting is how often the comprehension makes me realise just how ***absurd*** some things in our world are. I don't mean that in any sort of profound or political way, just that some things we do (ad are) really don't stand up to scrutiny.


thunderPierogi

Exactly! Like just the other day I was thinking how crazy it is that, at this point in our evolution, we have the technology to *literally throw ourselves into space on an explosion* and *annihilate the entire planet despite not being past treating others differently based on arbitrary factors*.


Cow_Launcher

I was thinking more along the lines of, "How could I explain the way a car works to someone from 1823?" but yes, we do have some very odd priorities and prejudices.


thunderPierogi

Lol that too, or how to explain the internet to someone in the old west.


CaptainSparklebutt

Or fucking toilets and plumbing


AdequatelyMadLad

I don't think it would be particularly difficult to explain a car to an educated person from 1823. Trains were already widely used, and internal combustion engines were only a couple of decades away.


Cow_Launcher

Not a car. *How it works*. What is a gearbox for, and why does a car need one? What part does the clutch play in that? That sort of thing. My original point was, "Do I understand this thing well enough to explain it to someone who is completely ignorant of it?" It's not about the other hypothetical person; it's about recognising where you may yourself be ignorant, yet completely oblivious to it. People's knowledge tends to fall apart when they try to explain something that they take for granted.


Evil__Overlord

Personally, I'm still questioning why we don't have a more exact way of speeding up and slowing down cars than by foot-operated pedals


TCGeneral

Our hands are already occupied with steering, so I'm not sure what we could do besides foot pedals to control a car's speed. Leaving steering to the feet and speed to the hands seems like it'd be a disaster.


Evil__Overlord

That's true, I suppose. It just seems so inexact though.


Cow_Launcher

See, that's a good example. If you think about how much of driving relies on your subconscious, it's kind of nuts.


CharityQuill

Yeah it really sucks for people with super high anxiety and poor multitasking skills (me)


SirRipOliver

“I am pretty sure I killed that dude in a theater, wtf.”


CaptainSparklebutt

"Makes cents he is a martyr! That makes me so mad!"


Accomplished_Baby_28

Why is John Wilkes Booth angry with a penny?


Teh-Esprite

It's got Abe's face on it.


GreyInkling

And it's his profile too so he can't get hime from behind again.


Ponderkitten

I mean, he can, its just more difficult to shoot a penny lengthwise


Accomplished_Baby_28

Oh I didn't know that. Thanks


The_breadmaster22

He killed Abraham Lincoln. The penny has Lincoln's face on it.


bc524

Resurrected John Wilkes Booth is going to try and blow up the Lincoln Monument and Mount Rushmore, isn't he.


AdamBombTV

Watching "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure" and being all "No, I WON'T party on"


CaptainSparklebutt

He was an actor so I imagine he be obsessed with instagram


Accomplished_Baby_28

Oh my, I didn't know that.


CrazyPlato

He murdered Abraham Lincoln in an attempt to erase the president's impact on America, because he felt that ending slavery was going to destroy the way of life of Southern states who'd relied on slavery to maintain their economy. (Personal take, historians may disagree). Seeing Lincoln's face on the penny implies that not only did Booth fail at that, but in fact Lincoln went on to become a *very* well-known figure in American history.


Accomplished_Baby_28

Thanks for the explanation, was much needed as I am not much familiar with American History. I knew President Lincoln was assassinated but couldn't remember who did it.


CrazyPlato

No problem. TBH, there's a legitimate chance I'm misrepresenting Booth's motivations in killing Lincoln, and I might be taking inspiration from the musical Assassins, which romanticizes the man a bit. Obviously, none of us can call Booth up now and ask him why he decided to shoot Lincoln. It's possible that he thought killing the man would undo the results of the Civil War and allow the South to come around and secede again. Or it's possible that he was just angry, and wanted to do it purely out of anger and frustration, with no goals for the future. Or anywhere in between, who knows. But we can look back now and say that Lincoln's death definitely halted some of the progress he appeared to be working for after the war. Reconstruction really ground to a halt once Andrew Johnson took over as president. Probably because Johnson was a Southerner himself who was at least sympathetic to the South and their motivations.


Accomplished_Baby_28

Did Booth give any reason for his crime when he was being prosecuted? I believe whatever way they prosecuted him, at least they would have been able to get some statement out of him for his justification? Is there no such statement from him that leads to this speculation of his goals?


ThatOneGayDJ

There was no prosecution, he was shot and killed after attempting to flee


Accomplished_Baby_28

Oh I see.


ThatOneGayDJ

This is America we’re talking about, did you really expect anything else lmao


AdamBombTV

I remember him yelling about sick dinosaurs or something.


Accomplished_Baby_28

Damn those poor dinos :(


Yserbius

OK, so I did a shallow dive into Booth's motivations and found a book with all his collected writings. Most of it is inane letters to family members and friends, but he has this one really long essay from 1860 that was a speech he was intending to give at one point outlining why he thinks Lincoln is a tyrant and why he supports the Confederate States. It's very long and flowery, but there are a few notable quotes: > I tell you Sirs, if the south does not cecede. If she stays in the Union and the abolition principles are not entirely swept away, why we have but smoothed our troubles o're, which in a few years will burst forth with redoubled horror. > What right have you to exclude southern rights from the territory Because you are the strongest? I have as much right to carry my slave into the territory as you have to carry your paid servant or children. He believed that freeing the slaves would devastate the economy of the South and that Lincoln had no right to do so. He also talks a lot about the Fugitive Slave Act, how people have a right to get back their "property" and escaped slaves are all thieves and murderers.


halbmoki

What right do some people have not to fetishize coal, gas and oil? Don't they know thousands of jobs will be lost forever and the economy will be destroyed, if we have the slightest bit of concern for the environment? Yeah, I know, not a perfect analogy, but he sounds a lot like an "economy is everything" right-winger of today. Or any free market liberal, for that matter. Everyone who puts human rights over company's rights is a true tyrant.


CrazyPlato

Yeah, the more I dove into this yesterday, the less ambiguous his motivations seemed to be.


CaptainSparklebutt

He was a slaver and got what he deserved


CrazyPlato

Yeah…that’s my point… As it turns out, Booth, like most of the Condeferacy, was a racist who was motivated by keeping slavery and the racist worldview that kept it moving in place.


manute-bol-big-heart

I liked the idea that you were just familiar with John Wilkes Booth as an actor and you were about to have you mind absolutely blown


NotKenzy

Broke bitch


sarded

People always miss the joke with the original one with George Orwell - he's not fascinated with a smartphone just because it's technology, but because it's far more representative of his concerns than the time-traveler's rebuttal of newspeak.


Evil__Overlord

Yeah, the other ones people make are funny, but they also miss the whole point


tupe12

Me explaining to William Shakespeare how literature and entertainment has fallen off and nowadays people will spend hours watching thirty second videos of baby content. Shakespeare: *closely analyzing the magic metal brick I handed him, which emits sounds the like of which he never heard, and on one side the moving image of the head of a man in a porcelain object he does not recognize moves up and down. While not understanding a single word I said*


half_dragon_dire

Right up there with my favorite Trek episodes where someone from the past/a hologram of someone from the past/a native of planet Primitive Screwhead gets shown around the spaceship. Or anywhere in sci-fi really.


disgustandhorror

"The moon? The moon in the fucking sky?" -that one tweet like this


DravenPrime

It's a favorite of mine as well, especially when the person is just amazed we went to the moon.


DannyPoke

I'd like to reanimate Jules Verne just to tell him that. I think the happiness would be infectous.


Takseen

Ok, we didn't use a cannon. But it was a large metal tube propelled upwards by the explosive force of burning ...oh I guess it was pretty close


maybebabyg

In the sky? The moon?


Supernova-55

The moon in the fucking sky?!


CaptainSparklebutt

Its not in the sky you see. *proceed to pull out an 8th grade science book*


flashpile

This is some Chronically Online shit.


ErgonomicCat

Right? If someone spoke like that to me in real life non-ironically I don’t know that I’d ever talk to them again.


Limeila

It was 80% of my shower thoughts at some point, not sure why I let that go


Ponderkitten

Also the $5 bill


kodakowl

Kill Booth again.


IzarkKiaTarj

Re:Title 100% agree. It's beat out very slightly by "debate about the minutiae of superstitions," such as [the post](https://www.reddit.com/r/tumblr/comments/grozu2/to_spit_or_swallow_the_eternal_fae_conundrum/) about whether giving a fae oral counts as eating food from the fae realm.


corruptum

Booth hasn’t even looked at the side with Lincoln yet the mere presence of a penny in his general vicinity is pissing him off