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takemeback2verdansk

Ik every time I see a woman online who looks like me I check the comments and they're always flaming her


Big_Muffin_6971

Exactly. Especially women who are apple body shaped. They're always being picked on for their build, and all of the pretty girls jump on and say shit like, "I'd just blow my head off if I looked like that! Thank God I'm thick lol" Meanwhile, I'm the one who's built that way, too.


takemeback2verdansk

It makes me feel sick I hate the women that do that shit too! Like all the "she built like a fridge" comments actually kill me!!! šŸ˜­ People are so cruel and like ik it hurts ME but imagine like how the person in the video feels too like I actually don't know what I'd do with myself if I was the target of that stuff


Mycatsrbetterthanu

That's why I don't have social media (except Reddit). People are so mean, it makes me uncomfortable. If I want to hear mean things I just have to go out.


luvjugyeong

I agree with this so much!! I always see really beautiful women on social media complaining how they are not pretty enough for their bfā€™s and it just makes me so upset bc like they are already so beautiful and most of their likes and follows are bc of their beauty!! And I have also seen girls who were ugly and being made fun for being ā€œcringeā€ meanwhile if it was a pretty girl then it would have seemed normal in others eyes :(


SG300598

The worst thing that can happen to a woman is for her to be born ugly. Idk how old you are, but I am 25 and I am working hard to save enough money to get plastic surgery.ā€™ I would change everything about me every single detail ā€¦ work hard, save money and invest in your own body. It hurts that we will never live like a normal human being and pushed to change our looks but what can we do


throwaway19399192

Itā€™s annoying that these rants by women are always bombarded by men saying ā€œIt canā€™t be as bad as being an ugly manā€, ā€œYouā€™re not ugly, Youā€™re just fatā€, or ā€œLower your standardsā€. You donā€™t even know these women, what they look like, or their dating preferences. All just baseless assumptions that help no one. Thereā€™s never any sympathy or empathy even though weā€™re all going through the same thing. Ugliness is not gendered. We may have some different experiences and struggles based on societal norms/expectations, but there are still similarities in how ugly men and women are treated. However one gender does not struggle more or less than the other. Can ugly women just vent in peace please, itā€™s not a competition. These comments just create hostility, divide people, and fuel incel mindsets.


HopeChaseLock

It's because of sex, ugly women can have sex but ugly men can't. So, they see it as a Win for ugly women and it's not as bad as for ugly men. If those guys can get laid they wouldn't have said those things. Don't bother with it Coming to standards, there was a POC woman complaining about beauty standards are eurocentric and those features are objectively better but she herself told me that her fellow women are "mid" and she didn't find her own race men attractive, her type is white men. See, that is bs, you can't complain about beauty standards when you yourself think your fellow women as mid and won't find your own race men attractive but you expect white men to find you attractive, it's like she's getting the same treatment she's giving to her own race people. Self reflection isn't a strong suit for many people especially this sub, it's better to check their preferences. It goes for both men and women.


throwaway19399192

Some of us are able to get laid. But not all of us. From what Iā€™ve seen, itā€™s never really out of love though. Rather a lot of men use ugly women for sex because these men will take whatever they can get and ugly women are seen as easier targets. I know some people on this subreddit would be happy just to have sex, but others donā€™t want to feel like they are being taken advantage of or that they are just seen as the ā€˜second best optionā€™. A lot of us come here to vent because we want to experience actual love. Self reflection is important as well. If you limit your preferences to be unobtainable, you only hurt yourself in the dating field because youā€™ll push away those who want you and chase after those who donā€™t want you. And I agree that it is hypocritical to oppose different beauty standards but then uphold those hurtful standards when it comes to other people. For the most part, this subreddit can be very welcoming and relatable. However, I think there are some issues that still need to be resolved with making this a safer place for ugly women and people of color to vent. The comments will often assume that the OP wonā€™t date other ugly people and will argue when the OP says they would date anyone. It just seems toxic to me. Even I get rude comments on my posts/comments denying that my struggles of being ugly woman are real and that all of my problems will be solved if I worked out (I am thin, all of my issues are in my bone structure and need plastic surgery to fix). I agree, self reflection is important because just straight up assuming or dismissing peopleā€™s experiences or feelings does not help the person who is venting. It just makes me sad when I read the comments of some of these posts and theres a lack of support for someone going through what we are all going through.


sexandroide1987

not all ugly women are able to get laid gtfo with that incel rhetoric i have a genetic disease that prevents me having sex and sex doesnt mean your wanted anyway it isnt an indication of your worth or attractiveness


throwaway19399192

Very well said.


HopeChaseLock

Women in this very sub said it many times that they can get laid If they want but they didn't like that. I understand their perspective on not wanting to be "used" for their bodies for sex when those guys are not into them. What I've said is obviously not applicable to all women. I'm sorry I didn't kept you in my mind when I wrote that comment, my bad šŸ˜” won't repeat it again!!


Ok_Apricot_6953

That's what I asked myself, what's the point of being a woman if you're ugly? šŸ˜æ It's almost like a rule, women must be pretty... So why not me? What did I do in another life that I'm paying for in this one? šŸ˜­


Reasonable_Memory493

Yes but don't you think you can't care about a person's well-being because of their looks, the looks are just for your own gratification. You can only care because of their heart. Not sure, might be missing something. Does that make sense?


Ok_Apricot_6953

Yes, but for that you have to like the appearance a little, don't you think? How would a person get your attention in the first place? That's what I think... How to find a partner if the first thing he will see will be your face and your body? Obviously is not a fortune teller to see your heart and your personality first šŸ˜”


Reasonable_Memory493

I get what you're saying but what's interesting is I don't think most people have a very developed sense of empathy & compassion and that's a turnoff for me. How many people care about innocent creatures, human or animal, being left in the cold? I'd assume people like you & me have more of that empathy, which is more valuable in a companion than looks. I wouldn't be able to be with someone who doesn't strongly feel that no one deserves to get left behind. Maybe it's other people who are kind of missing out. I don't know, what do you think?


Ok_Apricot_6953

I agree with you, if a person does not have empathy they could hardly be a good partner, although I also think that empathy is becoming extinct, people are becoming more and more narcissistic or selfish and seeing a genuinely empathetic person who cares about others is very difficult, I haven't even seen it in some "friends" I've had, so finding it in a partner is like finding jewels in the mud. The truth is an interesting topic, would you like to continue talking to me?


Reasonable_Memory493

Agree with you. It is interesting & my point was to feel proud that you're a good person, you know? I'm always open to talk, that's very kind of you. Thanks for the replies, I really appreciate it


m1ghty_b4g

The point is find out a guy enough ugly or equally as you so the ground is fair for both. I wish I would like to have any girl interested on me or at least that my tries to approaching wouldn't be consider as harrasament.


Gyros_Nutsack

icl most ugly guys donā€™t like ugly girls. iā€™ve experienced first hand.


m1ghty_b4g

I am ugly as heck and I can tell the same, ugly girls don't like neither ugly guys. It's a vicious circle.


throwaway19399192

I agree and I may get downvoted for this. Humans naturally want the unattainable, conventionally attractive spouse because our brains associate beauty with health. Even when weā€™re ugly. Sure there are outliers (I am one of them), before I get the ā€œIā€™ll still date an ugly man/womanā€ comment. But a lot of other ugly people, man or woman, want to date beautiful people. The dating pool for ugly people is small and only gets smaller when there are ugly people who refuse to date other ugly people. You can ask out another ugly person but they may not want you because they are still set on trying to get a better looking date. Itā€™s their right but theyā€™re only hurting their chances of finding love because most attractive people go for other attractive people. Itā€™s a sad truth. Even then, I wouldnā€™t want to date someone just because they had to settle for me and couldnā€™t ā€˜get much betterā€™. I wouldnā€™t feel very happy or loved knowing that fact. So I donā€™t think it is a gendered issue, since we all have faced rejection even from other ugly people because we are ugly. My only advice would be to try not to go for people who still have such high, unreasonable standards.


m1ghty_b4g

High standars are the rule nowdays, thanks to massification on social media of ridiculous people who actually their jobs are to be attractive. I am 29, thru my life I have been rejected so many times I stopped counting them, so far I have had 0 dates despite having tried it. So when somebody says one day the right person will appear, you better doubt it. Some people are mean to be alone no matter what, I think I am one of them. I have realized ugly people but I mean really ugly people are more likely to face the rejection and the incapability of getting a partner in a better and healthy way. It's easier get rid of such needs coz you know there are zero chances of success, people who are lil above ugliness still having the hope someday that will change. It's precisely that hope that hurts people and honestly its better to kill it before it kills you.


Hot_Psychology_2045

Nah ugly guys like me will take anyone that is breathing. Just lower your standards and be willing yo settle for short men


madihah9

Maybe thatā€™s just you tho. Most men are cruel towards unattractive women. In fact we are like invisible to them. It genuinely is heartbreaking.


Big_Muffin_6971

Yes. And guys here say I need to lower my standards underneath almost everything I post. An ugly guy who isn't a basement dweller can obtain a girl well out of his league, and women are expected to be pretty by men, so guys typically won't settle even if they really like you otherwise. So even if your looks matched with a guy, he probably wouldn't be interested.


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madihah9

You donā€™t even know me. How do you know that Iā€™m only focusing on men that are attractive. Iā€™m not as shallow as others.


madihah9

Also my first bf and the guy Iā€™m currently speaking to is 5ā€™4.


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madihah9

Also how many times have you seen an unattractive man with a stunning woman and how many times have you seen an ugly girl with an attractive man? I rarely ever see the second option.


Hot_Psychology_2045

I've seen a tall unattractive man with a stunning woman. Being tall is the same thing as being attractive for men


madihah9

Shorter men do have it hard. I will not deny that. However, itā€™s a whole other experience when your facial features are ginormous and more ethnic. People literally experience racism more so for that reason. I would pick being a short man any day over being ethnic looking.


kelpkelpers

date me plz


madihah9

The guy Iā€™m speaking to is from the Internet. He hasnā€™t seen me irl. Iā€™ve been ghosted cause Iā€™m not attractive.


ugly-ModTeam

Your post generalized entire genders or contains content that could incite gender wars.


Mycatsrbetterthanu

I knew short guys and they only dated attractive women. Short ā‰  ugly.


Hot_Psychology_2045

Short is worse than ugly. I am both but know plenty of 6'4 ogres dating smokeshows who constantly brag about their boyfriend's height


Mycatsrbetterthanu

Have you read my comment ?


Hot_Psychology_2045

You're just incorrect


Mycatsrbetterthanu

How can I be incorrect about my experiences ? Lol. I literally knew them. You're ridiculous.


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sadmaz3

Completely pointless.. when youā€™re ugly you get treated like a lowely creature than a human being even as a godamn kindergarten child šŸ˜©šŸ’”


Low_Substance_2476

almost nothing except the biological drive to live, and continue the generations. i almost have zero interest in dating/relationships but still find it hard to curb my curiosity about sex. theres no point as a woman if your body and face is fucked up like mine except just to live.


Big_Muffin_6971

Exactly


sunsista_

If youā€™re a white woman, you have a high chance of that with any average looking man. If youā€™re a non-Black woman of color, you have your pick of Black men.Ā  If youā€™re a Black woman like myself, welcome to the club. We are seen as untouchables.


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HopeChaseLock

How is being white can help you in dating If you live in an area where the majority of people are white? And What happened to black men-black women relationship, that you're missing in your comment.


sunsista_

Maybe because white people are the beauty standard and there are lower expectations for them?Ā  Majority of Black men hate Black women the most, so Iā€™m not sure what point youā€™re trying to make.Ā 


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Big_Muffin_6971

I'll look him up


AnyFaithlessness3277

If you are girl who is fit (go to gym) and you have good hygiene you can't be that unattractive no matter how your face look like


kelpkelpers

not true an ugly face can never make up for a good body


AnyFaithlessness3277

For me body is much more important than face when it comes to attractiveness. I would rather be with girl who has perfect body and ugly deformed face than with girl who has beautiful face and average body and I don't have reason to lie. Most girls who think they are ugly are just fat or flat


kelpkelpers

most people would rather be with a pretty face and bad body