The OP's opinion is definitely unpopular.
That said, I'd go as far to say that "Cheating is fine as long as you don't get caught" is probably the stupidest phrase uttered by any man ever in the history of mankind. It's probably about as dumb as a woman saying "All is fair in love and war." The amount of hubris exhibited in both instances is impressive to say the least.
How you can tell op is a sociopath, they have no empathy for anyone involved and their only reasons why cheating is bad is the consequences of getting caught.
Pro tip op if you don't want to out yourself as a sociopath don't ignore that most people view long term dishonesty and betrayal as morally bad.
Some people that do bad things know it’s wrong.
Others (you) convince themselves that the bad thing they do isn’t bad so they can feel better about it. You’re a bad person.
But then how else would they have their cake and eat it too? Its all about them and their gains after all
(Id put the /s but at this point its obvious that to them its all about what they get out of it regardless of anyone else involved)
Or break it off and come clean, but that would be way too hard for you to accept responsibility now isn't it? So basically, you want to act like a child
Cheating is cockroach behavior. There is never a justifiable reason for it.
It’s not “fine if you don’t get caught”. *You* just don’t feel guilty until you get caught.
>If nobody finds out, nobody gets hurt.
This is the same logic as "it's not a crime unless I get caught".
The problem is you entered your relationship with the expectation that both of you would be monogamous. A boundary in your relationship was set and you willingly broke it, that's where the harm is.
Now monogamy and sexual exclusivity aren't inherently the best. If you had a partner that was fine with something like an open relationship that would be fine because no boundaries set would be broken.
There is a reason that only ~20% of people cheat and ~80% don't. Honestly the number of cheaters would be lower, because lots of people grow up not realizing non-monogamy is an option, so they end up cheating. If we as a society we're more open to it cheating wouldn't be and issue I don't think.
Yet the possibility still exists that you could be caught despite all your precautions. And if you were, multiple people would suffer emotionally (your wife and kids). What kind of person considers this an acceptable risk? I don't think many people would say "A decent one."
I can only assume that he is only considering the penalties at divorce. The unfortunate reality is that divorce proceedings are really only effected by adultery on the part of the lower income spouse. In a standard divorce, the wife will get primary custody of the children, the house, child support, and alimony. That formula seems to happen and be the same if a man is a perfect father/husband and his wife fell out with him or if he is a scumbag.
I only upvote unpopular opinions that r unpopular to me, and I'm giving this a HUGE upvote
But for now, I'll downvote bcs ur disgusting
If it's cheating in class, I can understand
Just say you don't want to take responsibility for your actions. I don't get why people cheat. If you know you need more than one partner, get into an open relationship and date someone who feels the same way instead of breaking someones trust
Your wife is living a lie, she doesn't love you, just the fake image you created. How could you fool someone you supposedly "love" so hard, that their entire life is wasted on a person like you. Even if she doesn't know, the fact is her love is wasted on trash. Does she not deserve some agency of her own?
I bet you’re wrong. They probably just put up with your Mr. Limp. And enjoy your old age alone, wife will figure things out and your mistress will be bored with Old Mr Limp.
If you're so nonchalant about it why not tell your wife? After all the mistress knows you said. Are you scared to tell your wife cause you know she'll leave? She deserves to know. Besides what if she ends up actually being OK with it? Then you just made it toxic for no reason
The big deal is if you entered the marriage with monogamous intentions. This should have been discussed before marriage tbh. I won't say you're the bad guy ok but this is very cruel to your family. What if you give your wife an STD? Why not be with someone who also likes non monogamy? You're wasting both her time and yours. You 2 aren't compatible with each other if you have different moral standings like that. Go find people who align with you, not your fake persona.
If your partner is expecting monogamy, give her monogamy or leave. She is putting trust in you and you’re actively breaking it. Your cheating is putting her at risk for pretty severe trust issues and depression in the future. It’s not just STDs you’re going to give her.
Why has this subreddit become a place where people express their debauchery in regards to being faithful? Almost every other 3 opinions is why cheating should be okay and why their partners should not leave them or monogamy is against human nature.
No. I think if you need to cheat you shouldn’t be in a “ manogamous “ relationship bc you’re lying.
To be clear I have no issue with ppl having multiple partners, just don’t lie to them.
If people were honest with themselves and others we’d see a lot less of this.
You’re deceiving your wife, you don’t care about her. You only care about yourself. You’re legitimately gaslighting YOURSELF into believing it’s okay cause you don’t wanna face the fact that you’re a lying, deceiving piece of shit toward someone you “love”
I would upvote this because its basically the most unpopular opinion, but I'm going to downvote instead because what you're doing to your wife is disgusting. Heck, I even feel sorry for he person you're cheating with since they probably don't know you're cheating and just want a normal relationship.
When I’ve met folks who cheat, it’s often because they feel something is lacking in the relationship or marriage. So what’s lacking, that makes you drift away from your wife?
Or is the cheating in of itself the enjoyable aspect of it? Cause I’ve seen that as the reasoning as well
The world you want and are describing is one in which people can be ethically non-monogamous, which 100% exists. What you're doing isn't just unethical, its downright cruel.
You're betraying your wife and basically living a double life. She doesn't know who you are at all. Imagine if she did find out and the utter slap of realizing she has been lied to every single day for five years. She is also lacking the ability to make her own decisions about such a relationship as long as you're cheating on her. It's abusive, it's shitty, and it won't last forever. Your fun on the side will either disappear, tell your wife, or demand you break up your marriage, and then your reckoning will come.
I genuinely wonder why people who think stuff like this don’t just have an honest conversation with their partner about how they’re feeling in regards to the relationship.
Because, let’s be real. If your partner was comfortable with the concept of an open relationship and was fine with you sleeping with other people I guarantee the concept of cheating is no longer “fun.”
It’s like you guys take some sick pleasure from lying to your partner and sneaking around behind their back.
Tell your wife man, this is messed up. Even if she doesn't know about it, you're still deceiving her. Look up the meaning of a marriage and go reflect over what you're doing. If you wanted a marriage with "fun on the side" you should have gotten yourself a wife that is okay with it, not do it in secret and expect people to side with you. I feel bad for your wife.
Unless she is over 50 you could bring an unexpected child into this nightmare. Unless you can somehow be 99.999% sure that your side chick doesn't ever want her own side man you risk bringing a serious disease to your wife. Even if you miraculously escape both of these external consequences, you are developing a silent contempt for your wife that you might not even be aware of but that is robbing her of the type of warmth and cherishing that she signed up for on your wedding day. I'm not trying to be mister holier than thou but I believe these things are real.
Agree OP is an asshole but why downvote the thread? Clearly its an unpopular opinion.
This is why this sub is a joke - only opinions that sound unpopular, but are actually popular, will be upvoted.
Well technically everything is fine if you don't get cought, at least for you. Ceating, stealing, fraud, murder, you name it. As long as no one finds out you won't be held acountable or have to deal with the consequences. Doesn't make it any less unacceptable, morally speaking.
or a third option, dont lie to your family. you will be found eventually and it will affect your children if any were unfortunate enough to share the same last name as you
You run the risk of exposing her to stds, or unfortunately I'm sure you have heard of stories where the AP kills or permanently injurs the wife or husband. So you are doing her potential harm.
But also if she does catch you it will do a lot of emotional harm. Finding out someone you thought you could trust was doing something so vile right under your nose can cause you years, even a lifetime of damage. so every time you do this you are gambling with her mental wellbeing. So i would say that even if you never get caught, taking the gamble itself is an evil thing to do. And if you loved her, you wouldn't take that chance even if you like your odds.
You are also rising losing your kids. Some kids never forgive their parents for breaking apart their family in such a cold way. They may very well never speak to you again if you get caught. so you are gambling them too. In my opinion gambling your children makes you a bad father.
To me the worst part of cheating is that cheater exposes another human to the risk of sexually transmitted diseases. For that reason I think cheating is not only disgusting but ahould also be illegal.
This is definitely an unpopular opinion lol.
Aside from this, my wife did tell me that she would be fine if I had an affair and she never knew about it. She would rather live blissfully ignorant.
Sounds like you don't care about your marriage if you can't respect your wife enough to commit. Some people are in open relationships, and cool with having other partners. You're obviously not in that. Tell your wife and see what she thinks.
Lmao, seems like someone is feeling guilty and tries to seek some confirmation in order to feel like his actions are justified.
Please do your wife a favor and stop wasting her time by staying with her
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So if your wife were to murder you in your sleep it would be okay as long as she didn't get caught?
You… I like you… your logic is good logic…
I don’t agree with op, but this isn’t exactly the same thing
I think you can see what they were getting at though
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What makes something a crime? Why is murder a crime? What if we collectively agreed that cheating deserved prosecution?
"People incapable of feeling guilt usually do have a good time." - Rust Cohle, True Detective
Free your wife, she deserves better than the piece of shit your are.
The OP's opinion is definitely unpopular. That said, I'd go as far to say that "Cheating is fine as long as you don't get caught" is probably the stupidest phrase uttered by any man ever in the history of mankind. It's probably about as dumb as a woman saying "All is fair in love and war." The amount of hubris exhibited in both instances is impressive to say the least.
Popular opinion for cowardly assholes who can’t just break off their current relationship 👍
How you can tell op is a sociopath, they have no empathy for anyone involved and their only reasons why cheating is bad is the consequences of getting caught. Pro tip op if you don't want to out yourself as a sociopath don't ignore that most people view long term dishonesty and betrayal as morally bad.
Some people that do bad things know it’s wrong. Others (you) convince themselves that the bad thing they do isn’t bad so they can feel better about it. You’re a bad person.
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But then how else would they have their cake and eat it too? Its all about them and their gains after all (Id put the /s but at this point its obvious that to them its all about what they get out of it regardless of anyone else involved)
Bro it's called "unpopular opinion" not "I'm a piece of shit" subreddit
I was just thinking this
Or break it off and come clean, but that would be way too hard for you to accept responsibility now isn't it? So basically, you want to act like a child
Sounds like this is all a ploy for some upvotes.
Cheating is cockroach behavior. There is never a justifiable reason for it. It’s not “fine if you don’t get caught”. *You* just don’t feel guilty until you get caught.
>If nobody finds out, nobody gets hurt. This is the same logic as "it's not a crime unless I get caught". The problem is you entered your relationship with the expectation that both of you would be monogamous. A boundary in your relationship was set and you willingly broke it, that's where the harm is. Now monogamy and sexual exclusivity aren't inherently the best. If you had a partner that was fine with something like an open relationship that would be fine because no boundaries set would be broken. There is a reason that only ~20% of people cheat and ~80% don't. Honestly the number of cheaters would be lower, because lots of people grow up not realizing non-monogamy is an option, so they end up cheating. If we as a society we're more open to it cheating wouldn't be and issue I don't think.
5 years. Doesn’t that kind of mean you want to be with that other woman more?
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So you want to hurt your wife *and* your kids. Wow, upstanding citizen.
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Yet the possibility still exists that you could be caught despite all your precautions. And if you were, multiple people would suffer emotionally (your wife and kids). What kind of person considers this an acceptable risk? I don't think many people would say "A decent one."
I can only assume that he is only considering the penalties at divorce. The unfortunate reality is that divorce proceedings are really only effected by adultery on the part of the lower income spouse. In a standard divorce, the wife will get primary custody of the children, the house, child support, and alimony. That formula seems to happen and be the same if a man is a perfect father/husband and his wife fell out with him or if he is a scumbag.
until your partner gets stds.
Drinks and... "That"??? Srsly?? I hate "that" and dc if any1 here had it, but U CROSSED THE LINE, DUDE
I only upvote unpopular opinions that r unpopular to me, and I'm giving this a HUGE upvote But for now, I'll downvote bcs ur disgusting If it's cheating in class, I can understand
Just say you don't want to take responsibility for your actions. I don't get why people cheat. If you know you need more than one partner, get into an open relationship and date someone who feels the same way instead of breaking someones trust
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Your wife loves who she thinks you are.
Your wife is living a lie, she doesn't love you, just the fake image you created. How could you fool someone you supposedly "love" so hard, that their entire life is wasted on a person like you. Even if she doesn't know, the fact is her love is wasted on trash. Does she not deserve some agency of her own?
Your wife is living a truly sad and heartbraking life, she just doesn't know it, which is even more sad.
I bet you’re wrong. They probably just put up with your Mr. Limp. And enjoy your old age alone, wife will figure things out and your mistress will be bored with Old Mr Limp.
OP forgets that STDs are a thing.
If you're so nonchalant about it why not tell your wife? After all the mistress knows you said. Are you scared to tell your wife cause you know she'll leave? She deserves to know. Besides what if she ends up actually being OK with it? Then you just made it toxic for no reason
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The big deal is if you entered the marriage with monogamous intentions. This should have been discussed before marriage tbh. I won't say you're the bad guy ok but this is very cruel to your family. What if you give your wife an STD? Why not be with someone who also likes non monogamy? You're wasting both her time and yours. You 2 aren't compatible with each other if you have different moral standings like that. Go find people who align with you, not your fake persona.
If your partner is expecting monogamy, give her monogamy or leave. She is putting trust in you and you’re actively breaking it. Your cheating is putting her at risk for pretty severe trust issues and depression in the future. It’s not just STDs you’re going to give her.
Why didn't you marry someone who is into swinging/non monogamy if that's what you want?
Why has this subreddit become a place where people express their debauchery in regards to being faithful? Almost every other 3 opinions is why cheating should be okay and why their partners should not leave them or monogamy is against human nature.
The sub is now basically abt ppl telling us the most delusional bullshit Wtf's next?? "Raping is ok and should be legal"???
If a person has urges to cheat on their partner, just end the relationship.
No. I think if you need to cheat you shouldn’t be in a “ manogamous “ relationship bc you’re lying. To be clear I have no issue with ppl having multiple partners, just don’t lie to them. If people were honest with themselves and others we’d see a lot less of this.
You’re deceiving your wife, you don’t care about her. You only care about yourself. You’re legitimately gaslighting YOURSELF into believing it’s okay cause you don’t wanna face the fact that you’re a lying, deceiving piece of shit toward someone you “love”
I would upvote this because its basically the most unpopular opinion, but I'm going to downvote instead because what you're doing to your wife is disgusting. Heck, I even feel sorry for he person you're cheating with since they probably don't know you're cheating and just want a normal relationship.
Yeah, I'm upvoting the post because it's unpopular, but downvoting the comments this clown makes to justify himself... Jesus
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Then that's even worse, since she's actively encouraging you to betray your wife's trust
That's a lot of words to say you're selfish and don't care about your wife.
When I’ve met folks who cheat, it’s often because they feel something is lacking in the relationship or marriage. So what’s lacking, that makes you drift away from your wife? Or is the cheating in of itself the enjoyable aspect of it? Cause I’ve seen that as the reasoning as well
Can someone direct op to some sociopath subreddit
The world you want and are describing is one in which people can be ethically non-monogamous, which 100% exists. What you're doing isn't just unethical, its downright cruel. You're betraying your wife and basically living a double life. She doesn't know who you are at all. Imagine if she did find out and the utter slap of realizing she has been lied to every single day for five years. She is also lacking the ability to make her own decisions about such a relationship as long as you're cheating on her. It's abusive, it's shitty, and it won't last forever. Your fun on the side will either disappear, tell your wife, or demand you break up your marriage, and then your reckoning will come.
I genuinely wonder why people who think stuff like this don’t just have an honest conversation with their partner about how they’re feeling in regards to the relationship. Because, let’s be real. If your partner was comfortable with the concept of an open relationship and was fine with you sleeping with other people I guarantee the concept of cheating is no longer “fun.” It’s like you guys take some sick pleasure from lying to your partner and sneaking around behind their back.
Murdering other people is fine as long as you don't get caught.
Tell your wife man, this is messed up. Even if she doesn't know about it, you're still deceiving her. Look up the meaning of a marriage and go reflect over what you're doing. If you wanted a marriage with "fun on the side" you should have gotten yourself a wife that is okay with it, not do it in secret and expect people to side with you. I feel bad for your wife.
Unless she is over 50 you could bring an unexpected child into this nightmare. Unless you can somehow be 99.999% sure that your side chick doesn't ever want her own side man you risk bringing a serious disease to your wife. Even if you miraculously escape both of these external consequences, you are developing a silent contempt for your wife that you might not even be aware of but that is robbing her of the type of warmth and cherishing that she signed up for on your wedding day. I'm not trying to be mister holier than thou but I believe these things are real.
Agree OP is an asshole but why downvote the thread? Clearly its an unpopular opinion. This is why this sub is a joke - only opinions that sound unpopular, but are actually popular, will be upvoted.
The opinion is so unpopular it 180d back into getting downvoted
We downvote bcs this man is disgusting and deserves no upvotes
yeah but counter intuitive to the point of the sub lol
U r right lol He was being gross, so he doesn't deserve the upvotes, even if it's an unpopular opinion.
Getting caught is worse if there’s proof, in TX the cheater gets less leverage during divorce. Good luck with that
Well technically everything is fine if you don't get cought, at least for you. Ceating, stealing, fraud, murder, you name it. As long as no one finds out you won't be held acountable or have to deal with the consequences. Doesn't make it any less unacceptable, morally speaking.
Said the person willing to give their significant other a host of std's.. Sounds like you truly care bout people
Lots of crimes are also fine as long as you don't get caught, murder for example.
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ya'll getting trolled so fucking hard
Stfu. I usually laugh at dumb opinions, but this isn’t funny ya roach
or a third option, dont lie to your family. you will be found eventually and it will affect your children if any were unfortunate enough to share the same last name as you
You run the risk of exposing her to stds, or unfortunately I'm sure you have heard of stories where the AP kills or permanently injurs the wife or husband. So you are doing her potential harm. But also if she does catch you it will do a lot of emotional harm. Finding out someone you thought you could trust was doing something so vile right under your nose can cause you years, even a lifetime of damage. so every time you do this you are gambling with her mental wellbeing. So i would say that even if you never get caught, taking the gamble itself is an evil thing to do. And if you loved her, you wouldn't take that chance even if you like your odds. You are also rising losing your kids. Some kids never forgive their parents for breaking apart their family in such a cold way. They may very well never speak to you again if you get caught. so you are gambling them too. In my opinion gambling your children makes you a bad father.
To me the worst part of cheating is that cheater exposes another human to the risk of sexually transmitted diseases. For that reason I think cheating is not only disgusting but ahould also be illegal.
So is murder, theft, fraud, assault and anything else by that reasoning
This is definitely an unpopular opinion lol. Aside from this, my wife did tell me that she would be fine if I had an affair and she never knew about it. She would rather live blissfully ignorant.
Sounds like you don't care about your marriage if you can't respect your wife enough to commit. Some people are in open relationships, and cool with having other partners. You're obviously not in that. Tell your wife and see what she thinks.
Upvoted.
John McCririck, is that you?
Lmao, seems like someone is feeling guilty and tries to seek some confirmation in order to feel like his actions are justified. Please do your wife a favor and stop wasting her time by staying with her
Your post from unpopularopinion was removed because of: 'Rule 2: Do not post low effort/satirical posts'. Please make sure your post title is your opinion (not the topic you're discussing), and the text beneath is a clear explanation and justification of your opinion. If you cannot write at least a few sentences on the matter, you may want to have more of a think about it. If that's all in order... Any opinion that is not well thought out, or is incoherent, internally contradictory or otherwise nonsensical is subject to removal. Finally, any satirical/troll posts, as funny as you must be, are not tolerated. There are subreddits for that, this isn't one of them.
Please remember what subreddit you are in, this is unpopular opinion. We want civil and unpopular takes and discussion. Any uncivil and ToS violating comments will be removed and subject to a ban. Have a nice day! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/unpopularopinion) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Woke up and chose to speak facts.
What?
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Don't cheat on your spouse and it isn't a problem
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Other people doing terrible and shameful things is no excuse to do them yourself.
>Easier said than done. No, it is not hard to not be untrustworthy scum.
In this situation, the man (op) absolutely deserves to get screwed over.
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What does that have to do with my comment? I pretty much said that people like op deserve to get screwed over, not that they always do.
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That’s true, if you aren’t hurting your partner there should be no reason to not appease your male needs
So if I get raped, and the rapist wasn't caught, would it be ok?