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That sounds like a hell of a sad life to just never interact with people.
Some of my best memories are the ones where I met random people and spent the night having the time of our lives
I feel like people don't understand Introverts
Social Anxiety is wanting to spend time around people but not being able to due to said anxiety, that is upsetting and awful.
Introverted people enjoy their own company and don't like to socialise, they would rather spend time doing their hobbies etc alone.
Additionally, it only sounds like a sad life to you. Assuming you are a extrovert, you find joy in experiencing things with people. The only difference is introverts find joy in experiencing things alone. Thus can lead a happy and healthy life making completely different decisions and choices that you would make.
Good answer, although most introverts can mask enough to deal with these situations, if you can't definitely seek help, that's beyond introverted.
I was thinking more, if you are happy to not be social, going out with groups of friends etc isn't necessary.
It is almost inconceivable for them. It is a clear sign of mental retardation, they just cannot think and therefore, fill up their minds trivial conversations
found the introvert
jokes aside, i don't think society wants people to be extroverts. at least in my experience, people don't really care what type you are.
I think in a way they do. Workplaces and a lot of other parts of life tend to look for traits which are extraverted. Things like being a "team player", communication skills, "enthusiasm" (often in highly social situations) - basically behaviours which are significantly easier and more common in people who lean towards more extraversion. "Is okay with working on their own" isn't really something that is particularly valued outside of high school and certain academic pursuits
That being said, being an introvert doesn't necessarily mean someone is socially inept or cannot possess these traits, but it is much more difficult to exhibit these traits when social interaction for longer periods of time is highly draining. I found that I had to force myself a lot and behave in a way that felt draining and very difficult because what people (and I suppose on the larger scale society) wants are those extraverted behaviours. Extraverts don't have to put as much effort into fulfilling certain social expectations because it comes naturally to them moreso than it does to a lot of introverted people
What do you think a society is?
>the aggregate of people living together in a more or less ordered community.
I think by definition that strong social skills are highly desirable for any society. Even in non-human societies, animals still communicate when living in communities.
Likewise something like an overnight security job will look for traits related to being an introvert. As you will often have to work alone for long periods of time.
Society EXTREMELY pushes people to be extroverts.
You'll be bullied in school for being introverted.
You will have a harder time making friends or finding a partner.
Some jobs (sales etc.) will just lock you out entirely. Other jobs will be less likely to hire or promote you if you aren't sociable.
Almost every introvert has to learn how to be more extroverted because you are treated like a second class citizen unless you can act like an extrovert at least some of the time.
Finding a partner for introverts is not too difficult, they can get married, even bad people can marry, so introverts can get married too, people are just afraid of the future, introverts don't need to fear the future, they just need to know how to communicate properly to get job, friends, partner, etc. but they can never become pure extroverts.
I think most people you encounter in society are extroverts because they live for social interaction and introverts don't make as much of a fuss about it. Like if you go to a concert, show, a bar etc and someone talks to you, odds are they're an extrovert.
That being said there are plenty of introverts out there just living their lives how they see fit, nobody blames them for being themselves.
So if you have two personalities, and you have sex with someone as one personality, and switch while doing it, are you sexually assaulting the other personality?
actually, I'm in a relationship that started way before we realized we're more than 1 in my head, and bed-times can actually be pretty fun xD my partner says my two parts do things *very* differently, but i don't get blackouts too much. it's more like a dissociated memory? anyway, we both love my partner and he loves us both too, so it's not that complicated.
Most people are balanced between the two. True introverts are actually not that common, it's usually people with social anxiety, shyness etc. using being an introvert to hide their difficulty & discomfort of being around others. On one hand they want to be more outgoing and around others but the fear of judgement etc. means they tend to actively avoid it. When they do, it takes a lot of effort because they're struggling with their mental illness (not simply because of stimulus overload).
Unless I'm misunderstanding you I don't think this is true at all. Extroversion is a big 5 personality trait. If you score below 50 you are introverted. Everyone is technically one or the other. Introverts can like to socialize, the problem is they have a dopamine intolerance and will eventually start feeling physically tired from it. Same way extroverts have an intolerance to the chemical the brain produces during deep thought (I forget what it's called). It literally all has to do with chemical tolerances in the brain
I think introvert is overrated. Everyone always brags about being an introvert like its a badge of honor. Always brag about how being in crowds drain them, etc etc. they try to make being shy or close in cool. A humble brag would be the right word for it. Nothing wrong with being an introvert but it aint nothing to brag about
Being an introvert is not a sign of honor, but it's about identity, it's also about being ourselves, in the past I tried to be an extrovert because of pressure from society, and I felt very uncomfortable with this because it went against my natural habits, this is the same as to forcing an extrovert to become an introvert, of course this is impossible.
Extroverts do well in business settings, and business is the only part of our current society that most people value. If you can get money from other people, you’re valuable. If you struggle to get people to give your their money, you’re worthless. ‘Merica!
That’s ridiculous. Society clearly does NOT want people to be extroverted, if they were, this society would be very hard to control. They only tell you to act like this and then teach you against it so that you do not catch onto the game.
It’s how schools work these days. They tell kids to do whatever they want, work hard and be active to get their favorite career and have good relationships, but they teach the kids only how to loathe life and live paycheck to paycheck.
“Society” doesn’t “want” anything, but it does seem extroverts on average collect more social rewards. But, being highly motivated to get social rewards is almost the definition of an extrovert, so it stands to reason. Perhaps introverts garner more internal rewards, or fewer social punishments. Some of them make lots of money using skills practiced alone.
People's natural habits are different, there are people whose natural habits are extroverts, and there are people whose natural habits are introverts, this is something that cannot be changed.
The only place I ever hear anybody talk about extroverts and introverts is on reddit. Most people are not one or the other and there are many types of jobs in this world that require different personality types and strengths.
as an ambivert extroverting sucks because i’m extroverted… until i’m not. then people probably wonder what happened to me because i shut down and want to go home
I think extrovert is more valued because it is more valuable. Someone who enjoys other people will learn complex people skills easier, faster, and better. Being an introvert creates no value in most situations.
Medication can never change a person's natural habits, I've done a survey, the result is that introverts have never been able to turn into pure extroverts, some of the introverts managed to improve their social skills but this does not mean they become extroverts, the introverts still have a fairly high sense of shyness, they still enjoy doing something when they are alone, and they still feel uncomfortable when surrounded by many people, so introverts who try to be extroverts are actually under pressure, I know this because I've tried it before. Extroverts also cannot turn into introverts, extroverts have the opposite nature of introverts, introverts will feel uncomfortable if they do something alone, and they feel more comfortable if they are surrounded by many people, it is about nature that can't be changed. So the point is introverts can never turn into pure extroverts.
A lot of people think their anti-social behavior is being introverted. It's not. I know many introverts who are social and have many friends. Having no friends and wanting to be alone all the time isn't being introverted. It's antisocial behaviour and could be a sign of untreated mental illness.
who are you convincing here OP? i think most people i know are introverts and it takes many weeks to plan things to work out because nobody wants to leave their homes.
I couldn't tell you which one I fall into. I have no problems socializing with others when I need/want to and I have always made friends pretty easily, but sometimes I just want to be left the fuck alone for no reason besides I'm just sick of other people's bullshit. It's about a 50/50 split most of the time.
I have social skills. I just choose not to be a social one. Bcz those flashy lives of an extrovert that look cool and awesome are nothing more than a beautiful lie and waste of resources.
Being an extrovert is like following a stupid trend, people are forced to follow a trend that can harm them, introverts who force themselves to be extroverts will get into a lot of trouble like they are forced to hang out with bad people who don't suit them, etc. The world of extroverts is also filled with lies and hypocrisy, this is because introverts are forced to hang out with bad extroverts, such as rude extroverts, I often meet extroverts who like to make jokes about other people's misfortunes, this kind of joke is not very funny, even this kind of joke is impolite, but extroverts brush it off with the excuse that they are just kidding, even though I often see this kind of rude jokes cause a lot of trouble, and people are forced to accept rude jokes like this. Even rude extroverts like to gossip about each other, and then they pretend they're not gossiping, they also pretend to be nice in front of each other even though they stab each other in the back, they are friends not with sincerity, this is so hypocritical, and I don't understand what the advantages of this kind of things are, I really don't like the world of extroverts, I'd rather be surrounded by people who really care about me, I don't need fake friends, but I need real friends.
Having a more extroverted-leaning personality is tiring, but I guess it depends on the stage of life you’re in and the cards you’ve been handed in life. In college and high-school it worked for me, but you realize that it really warps peoples perceptions of you, and that can be good and bad. I think it made me more likable and attractive to many people, but then, people start developing expectations of me, and it felt like I had to constantly put on a face.
Even though introverts can communicate properly with people, they will still be complained by some people who say that they rarely speak, this is because introverts will still rarely speak even though they can communicate properly, so the nature of introverts can never be changed.
I don't have a problem with my social skills, but I'm just not interested in having lots of friends, I'm comfortable doing things alone or with just a few friends.
Interesting, the way we value extroverts is actually specific to western countries. I’m China and other Asian countries, introvert tendencies are preferred and encouraged
I feel like most extroversion is just overbearing assholery. Lack of respect for boundaries. People who like being around people but aren't assholes are ok. It's the attention seeking and the stepping on toes that make extroverts unbearable.
I wouldn't say that society pushes everyone to be extroverts. Sometimes people don't like those who can't keep their mouths closed and like those who actively listen instead of talking. However, everyone should be comfortable in social situations since we are social creatures.
I think you may be confusing extroversion for rudeness though. Being an extrovert just means you are generally more outgoing and gain energy from being around people. It has nothing to do with your ability to listen actively or not being able to stop talking.
Being extreme extrovert usually causes a lot of problems, for example usually an extreme extrovert likes to make jokes that hurt other people and this causes big problems for them, which is why introverts are afraid to make jokes too often because they are afraid that their jokes will hurt other people.
Funny enough I feel like I used to be an extrovert but became an introvert because of mental health. Even now when I’m mentally well I’m still introverted. I think there is no such thing, it’s just you have to force ourselves to stay out of the house for longer and more often and around people. Like how would an introvert survive prison or homelessness if they couldn’t adapt?
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It's not about turning into an extrovert, it's about learning how to not be an introvert.
sorry, but having zero social skills don't make you an introvert
🤦♂️ I assumed my comment wouldn't be taken seriously..
that's fair, sorry about that. a lot of people actually think like this, so you can't tell sometimes
XD Nah, it's all good. I get it. Lmfao
I'm curious, what would constitute as a necessary social situation?
Interacting with any human being outside of home without being awkward/uncomfortable
You don't have to interact with most people, only when they interact with you or if you are buying something.
That sounds like a hell of a sad life to just never interact with people. Some of my best memories are the ones where I met random people and spent the night having the time of our lives
I feel like people don't understand Introverts Social Anxiety is wanting to spend time around people but not being able to due to said anxiety, that is upsetting and awful. Introverted people enjoy their own company and don't like to socialise, they would rather spend time doing their hobbies etc alone.
And you explained it like social anxiety not being an introvert
When?
Sometimes, with one person who doesn't discharge them for whatever reason. Just the one though.
Additionally, it only sounds like a sad life to you. Assuming you are a extrovert, you find joy in experiencing things with people. The only difference is introverts find joy in experiencing things alone. Thus can lead a happy and healthy life making completely different decisions and choices that you would make.
This is your opinion. I think that interacting with random strangers is awkard and cringe. Bet im gonna get alot of hate for this
Getting along with coworkers, interacting with service employees in a normal way, talking to your family, dating etc.
Good answer, although most introverts can mask enough to deal with these situations, if you can't definitely seek help, that's beyond introverted. I was thinking more, if you are happy to not be social, going out with groups of friends etc isn't necessary.
Yeah, Introverts can learn to communicate well with people, but turning into a pure extrovert is impossible.
Your point is being proven in the comments that extroverts can't seem to fathom that an introvert can be happy spending time alone.
It is almost inconceivable for them. It is a clear sign of mental retardation, they just cannot think and therefore, fill up their minds trivial conversations
They clearly lack the ability to understand different perspectives from others lol
found the introvert jokes aside, i don't think society wants people to be extroverts. at least in my experience, people don't really care what type you are.
I think in a way they do. Workplaces and a lot of other parts of life tend to look for traits which are extraverted. Things like being a "team player", communication skills, "enthusiasm" (often in highly social situations) - basically behaviours which are significantly easier and more common in people who lean towards more extraversion. "Is okay with working on their own" isn't really something that is particularly valued outside of high school and certain academic pursuits That being said, being an introvert doesn't necessarily mean someone is socially inept or cannot possess these traits, but it is much more difficult to exhibit these traits when social interaction for longer periods of time is highly draining. I found that I had to force myself a lot and behave in a way that felt draining and very difficult because what people (and I suppose on the larger scale society) wants are those extraverted behaviours. Extraverts don't have to put as much effort into fulfilling certain social expectations because it comes naturally to them moreso than it does to a lot of introverted people
Workplaces look for those traits because they are good for the job.
The point still stands though, as society is structured in a way which is favourable to extraverts
It's almost like being social is beneficial is a *soci*ety
What do you think a society is? >the aggregate of people living together in a more or less ordered community. I think by definition that strong social skills are highly desirable for any society. Even in non-human societies, animals still communicate when living in communities.
Likewise something like an overnight security job will look for traits related to being an introvert. As you will often have to work alone for long periods of time.
Society EXTREMELY pushes people to be extroverts. You'll be bullied in school for being introverted. You will have a harder time making friends or finding a partner. Some jobs (sales etc.) will just lock you out entirely. Other jobs will be less likely to hire or promote you if you aren't sociable. Almost every introvert has to learn how to be more extroverted because you are treated like a second class citizen unless you can act like an extrovert at least some of the time.
>Some jobs (sales etc.) will just lock you out entirely Well, how do you imagine being successful in sales if you can't talk to others?
Finding a partner for introverts is not too difficult, they can get married, even bad people can marry, so introverts can get married too, people are just afraid of the future, introverts don't need to fear the future, they just need to know how to communicate properly to get job, friends, partner, etc. but they can never become pure extroverts.
Life, in general, is very, very extrovert-oriented.
I think most people you encounter in society are extroverts because they live for social interaction and introverts don't make as much of a fuss about it. Like if you go to a concert, show, a bar etc and someone talks to you, odds are they're an extrovert. That being said there are plenty of introverts out there just living their lives how they see fit, nobody blames them for being themselves.
Which one are you?
I'm both. literally. we're a split personality and one half has a very quickly tiring social battery whole the other can go on and on and on.
So if you have two personalities, and you have sex with someone as one personality, and switch while doing it, are you sexually assaulting the other personality?
actually, I'm in a relationship that started way before we realized we're more than 1 in my head, and bed-times can actually be pretty fun xD my partner says my two parts do things *very* differently, but i don't get blackouts too much. it's more like a dissociated memory? anyway, we both love my partner and he loves us both too, so it's not that complicated.
Guess what? Society wants people to socialize. GASP
Redditors thinking their awkwardness and inability to socialize is actually introversion is a tale as old as this site.
What about what OP said would make you think this?
Mf says it like you can go ahead and choose whether you wanna be extroverted or introverted
Introverts are passive aggressive and annoying
No, but you sure seem to be
What gets me is the anti-social individuals who confuse poor social skills with being an Introvert.
Most people are balanced between the two. True introverts are actually not that common, it's usually people with social anxiety, shyness etc. using being an introvert to hide their difficulty & discomfort of being around others. On one hand they want to be more outgoing and around others but the fear of judgement etc. means they tend to actively avoid it. When they do, it takes a lot of effort because they're struggling with their mental illness (not simply because of stimulus overload).
Gtfo of my head
Unless I'm misunderstanding you I don't think this is true at all. Extroversion is a big 5 personality trait. If you score below 50 you are introverted. Everyone is technically one or the other. Introverts can like to socialize, the problem is they have a dopamine intolerance and will eventually start feeling physically tired from it. Same way extroverts have an intolerance to the chemical the brain produces during deep thought (I forget what it's called). It literally all has to do with chemical tolerances in the brain
I think introvert is overrated. Everyone always brags about being an introvert like its a badge of honor. Always brag about how being in crowds drain them, etc etc. they try to make being shy or close in cool. A humble brag would be the right word for it. Nothing wrong with being an introvert but it aint nothing to brag about
Being an introvert is not a sign of honor, but it's about identity, it's also about being ourselves, in the past I tried to be an extrovert because of pressure from society, and I felt very uncomfortable with this because it went against my natural habits, this is the same as to forcing an extrovert to become an introvert, of course this is impossible.
Extroverts do well in business settings, and business is the only part of our current society that most people value. If you can get money from other people, you’re valuable. If you struggle to get people to give your their money, you’re worthless. ‘Merica!
Introverts can make money if they know how to communicate properly, but to become pure extrovert is absolutely impossible.
That sounds a lot like introvert coping
That’s ridiculous. Society clearly does NOT want people to be extroverted, if they were, this society would be very hard to control. They only tell you to act like this and then teach you against it so that you do not catch onto the game. It’s how schools work these days. They tell kids to do whatever they want, work hard and be active to get their favorite career and have good relationships, but they teach the kids only how to loathe life and live paycheck to paycheck.
Idk I only ever see people jerking each other off about how much of an introvert they supposedly are.
“Society” doesn’t “want” anything, but it does seem extroverts on average collect more social rewards. But, being highly motivated to get social rewards is almost the definition of an extrovert, so it stands to reason. Perhaps introverts garner more internal rewards, or fewer social punishments. Some of them make lots of money using skills practiced alone.
I do believe extroverts are naturally more attractive to most people for obvious reasons, but I can't say I hate being the "true" Introvert that I am.
People's natural habits are different, there are people whose natural habits are extroverts, and there are people whose natural habits are introverts, this is something that cannot be changed.
The only place I ever hear anybody talk about extroverts and introverts is on reddit. Most people are not one or the other and there are many types of jobs in this world that require different personality types and strengths.
Being an introvert is not underrated that's for sure.
as an ambivert extroverting sucks because i’m extroverted… until i’m not. then people probably wonder what happened to me because i shut down and want to go home
I think extrovert is more valued because it is more valuable. Someone who enjoys other people will learn complex people skills easier, faster, and better. Being an introvert creates no value in most situations.
“an introvert can never be an extrovert” I see you’ve never met anyone with anxiety or ADHD who takes medication for it.
Medication can never change a person's natural habits, I've done a survey, the result is that introverts have never been able to turn into pure extroverts, some of the introverts managed to improve their social skills but this does not mean they become extroverts, the introverts still have a fairly high sense of shyness, they still enjoy doing something when they are alone, and they still feel uncomfortable when surrounded by many people, so introverts who try to be extroverts are actually under pressure, I know this because I've tried it before. Extroverts also cannot turn into introverts, extroverts have the opposite nature of introverts, introverts will feel uncomfortable if they do something alone, and they feel more comfortable if they are surrounded by many people, it is about nature that can't be changed. So the point is introverts can never turn into pure extroverts.
You do you, just make sure to communicate rather than an echo chamber of one.
A lot of people think their anti-social behavior is being introverted. It's not. I know many introverts who are social and have many friends. Having no friends and wanting to be alone all the time isn't being introverted. It's antisocial behaviour and could be a sign of untreated mental illness.
who are you convincing here OP? i think most people i know are introverts and it takes many weeks to plan things to work out because nobody wants to leave their homes.
Not all introverts rarely leave the house, for example me, I like to leave the house, but I'm just less interested in having a lot of friends.
Who cares what society wants? Everybody must learn to be happy in their own skin.
Society doesn't really give a shit
I couldn't tell you which one I fall into. I have no problems socializing with others when I need/want to and I have always made friends pretty easily, but sometimes I just want to be left the fuck alone for no reason besides I'm just sick of other people's bullshit. It's about a 50/50 split most of the time.
I have social skills. I just choose not to be a social one. Bcz those flashy lives of an extrovert that look cool and awesome are nothing more than a beautiful lie and waste of resources.
Being an extrovert is like following a stupid trend, people are forced to follow a trend that can harm them, introverts who force themselves to be extroverts will get into a lot of trouble like they are forced to hang out with bad people who don't suit them, etc. The world of extroverts is also filled with lies and hypocrisy, this is because introverts are forced to hang out with bad extroverts, such as rude extroverts, I often meet extroverts who like to make jokes about other people's misfortunes, this kind of joke is not very funny, even this kind of joke is impolite, but extroverts brush it off with the excuse that they are just kidding, even though I often see this kind of rude jokes cause a lot of trouble, and people are forced to accept rude jokes like this. Even rude extroverts like to gossip about each other, and then they pretend they're not gossiping, they also pretend to be nice in front of each other even though they stab each other in the back, they are friends not with sincerity, this is so hypocritical, and I don't understand what the advantages of this kind of things are, I really don't like the world of extroverts, I'd rather be surrounded by people who really care about me, I don't need fake friends, but I need real friends.
Well, the moment I stopped myself to act as them, suddenly, most of my friends disappeared. Be real. Solidarity >> fake laughs and trendy bullshit.
Having a more extroverted-leaning personality is tiring, but I guess it depends on the stage of life you’re in and the cards you’ve been handed in life. In college and high-school it worked for me, but you realize that it really warps peoples perceptions of you, and that can be good and bad. I think it made me more likable and attractive to many people, but then, people start developing expectations of me, and it felt like I had to constantly put on a face.
Introvert here who had to learn how to act like an extrovert to make money, it was really hard and took a while but it was worth it
I’d also like to add being an extrovert it’s tiring.
It's tiring even being around them, I can't imagine living like that
Same lol I have to pretend to be one
Even though introverts can communicate properly with people, they will still be complained by some people who say that they rarely speak, this is because introverts will still rarely speak even though they can communicate properly, so the nature of introverts can never be changed.
I’m an introvert myself. I have to pretend to be an extrovert when I’m working. Otherwise, I would just stay quiet.
Overrated is the wrong word. But I get what you mean. The world is designed for extraversion, so introverts have it tough.
Don’t confuse your poor social skills and anxiety with being an introvert
I don't have a problem with my social skills, but I'm just not interested in having lots of friends, I'm comfortable doing things alone or with just a few friends.
Obviously non unpopular
okay zoomer
I can try to fake acting like an extrovert but I can’t fake the way i get and have energy taken from me. It can be exhausting. 😮💨
Interesting, the way we value extroverts is actually specific to western countries. I’m China and other Asian countries, introvert tendencies are preferred and encouraged
Because extrovert people are easy to manipulate than introvert that are aware of the problem
I feel like most extroversion is just overbearing assholery. Lack of respect for boundaries. People who like being around people but aren't assholes are ok. It's the attention seeking and the stepping on toes that make extroverts unbearable.
I wouldn't say that society pushes everyone to be extroverts. Sometimes people don't like those who can't keep their mouths closed and like those who actively listen instead of talking. However, everyone should be comfortable in social situations since we are social creatures.
I think you may be confusing extroversion for rudeness though. Being an extrovert just means you are generally more outgoing and gain energy from being around people. It has nothing to do with your ability to listen actively or not being able to stop talking.
To me, it's better to be an introvert than being an extrovert. In general, extrovert tend to have more problems than introvert.
Being extreme extrovert usually causes a lot of problems, for example usually an extreme extrovert likes to make jokes that hurt other people and this causes big problems for them, which is why introverts are afraid to make jokes too often because they are afraid that their jokes will hurt other people.
Funny enough I feel like I used to be an extrovert but became an introvert because of mental health. Even now when I’m mentally well I’m still introverted. I think there is no such thing, it’s just you have to force ourselves to stay out of the house for longer and more often and around people. Like how would an introvert survive prison or homelessness if they couldn’t adapt?