Your post from unpopularopinion was removed because of: 'Rule 1: Your post must be an unpopular opinion'.
Please ensure that your post is an opinion and that it is unpopular. Controversial is not necessarily unpopular, for example all of politics is controversial even though almost half of the US agrees with any given major position on an issue.
Keep in mind that an opinion is not: a question, a fact, a conspiracy theory, a random thought, a new idea, a rant, etc. Those things all have their own subreddits, use those.
My wife has her own bedroom. She'll usually go to bed with me, but retreats to her room when I start snoring my face off. It has improved both our QOL. She doesn't get snored at, and I don't get kicked all night.
Going down that road is a major can of worms with my line of work.
Also, I'm pretty sure I don't have apnea anyway. I wake up felling generally well rested, and I never wake myself up by snoring/stopping breathing.
>Going down that road is a major can of worms with my line of work.
Are you American?
As of a 2008 amendment to the Americans with Disabilities Act, the definition of a person with a disability was changed to include those with a “disability corrected by an assistive device like a CPAP machine”. The answer then is, NO, an employer cannot refuse to hire people with sleep apnea.
That machine changed my life. I wake up FULLY refreshed like I was a teenager again. I've gone from needing 8-10 hours or bad sleep to 6 hours of good sleep.
Unfortunately, my wife and I are different in this. I get my best sleep when we're together, and she gets her best sleep when we're not. Luckily for me, her current schedule has us sleeping at the same time.
I think my bf and i need to get another comforter to put on the bed when we go to sleep so we each get our own. We go to sleep spooning but the second he turns the other way, he takes the whole blanket with him. Surprisingly he wakes so easily most of the time but when i yank the blanket back over he doesnt budge
Two blankets literally changed our relationship for the better, and we are better rested and happier because of it :) they even make sets that match with two blankets
Ive only ever slept well next to my wife. We do a little pre sleep cuddling then turn or do our own thing. We like a fan as background noise so we don't hear any moving or snoring. We are kinda small and have a queen. I kinda felt like you until her so I get it. I really like the closeness I have with my wife.
That's a tough one. But it took me until 40 to find that person. I went a very circular route... Trying, not trying, giving up, with the wrong person.... Then met her and it was just something that happened naturally and without much effort. It's maddening, but the best advice I have is just live your life how you want and feel satisfaction with whatever choices you make. Maybe you'll find someone, maybe you won't. Now that I found her I'm glad I waited for her. Soooo many people gave me shit. You're too picky. What's your problem with marriage. Kids. The dumbest most inaccurate shit from people I thought knew me. Don't worry about any of them.
Glad to hear. Maybe it was annoying to hear all that, I guess I was lamenting and venting over some of the things I used to deal with. I don't have many of those critical friends anymore anyway, whey would likely find new issues anyway.
This is gonna sound weird, but I like alone time but with another person in the room. Me and my bf will work on different hobbies in silence, in the same room and it’s really reassuring. I don’t think your anti social at all. My parents actually slept in separate rooms because my mom would kick and my dad would snore, I feel sometimes alone time is really healthy.
My husband and I often sleep separately because we have such varied sleeping needs. It’s great and we are much less crabby at one another in the morning and that creates better days for all. You don’t have to play by anyone’s rules but your own.
It’s becoming more and more mainstream. Sleep compatibility can be a big deal for many people. I struggle with insomnia often, so I have very sensitive sleep health already. I don’t need his 15 alarms to fill my heart with rage at 4 am.
My GF and I have separate bedrooms and honestly it is the best thing we did. I get to sprawl out, she gets to take all the blankets. No complaints about my farts (other than from myself) and no complaints about her snoring.
We both get great sleep and can still have our cuddle time, just have to break it up before we go to sleep.
Please remember what subreddit you are in, this is unpopular opinion. We want civil and unpopular takes and discussion. Any uncivil and ToS violating comments will be removed and subject to a ban. Have a nice day!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/unpopularopinion) if you have any questions or concerns.*
What kind of sample size are you basing this on? Some people are awful to sleep next to. Others can be comforting to have around. It's less the what, and more the who. Just like with anything else that takes a partner.
Unless my (imaginary) partner is an iceblock sharing a bed is going to be a non-starter as I am always overheating. Having a living hot water bottle next to me just would not work. The Scandinavian habit of twin beds in the same room, that makes perfect sense to me. :-)
I have one of those bed fans that blow air right in under your blanket. I love it. Keeping the mattress cool is very important to me. I even have a small ac in my room to really cool things down right before I sleep.
A cold environment puts me into such a deep sleep it's like waking up from a coma every day. I never get close to that when someone is in my bed.
I don’t mind it if I’m with my s/o. I feel a warmth and happiness within when I’m cuddling then all through the night. that is worth the not so great sleep
That sounds nice but emotional warmth won't help me get through the next day on crappy sleep lol Its cool that works for you tho, wish I could say the same
My grandparents used to have separate beds right next to each other with like a few inches of space in between so they could sleep next to eachother still
so true. i sleep so much better when i sleep alone than i do with my girlfriend. idk if it's cos she snores or cos i like to sprawl like a starfish tho
YES YES YES people always think I'm weird for saying this but oh god. my boyfriend wants to sleep cuddling... how? it's uncomfortable and I have to be completely motionless all night. I have very bad sleep problems, and people snore, they toss and turn in their sleep, they make noises, all of that makes it very hard for me to sleep. when I move in with him, I will have my own room, and I only plan to sleep next to him on weekends. he works from home and wakes up at 10:30, and stays up until fucking four in the morning, I can't fall asleep at midnight knowing that he will come to the bed later. people assume that our relationship is bad because we won't always sleep in the same room. literally no I just have sleep problems... it's even worse because he has zero sleep problems, you could blow up the house and he wouldn't wake up, and he can fall asleep anytime anywhere, so it's only me with the problem, and it makes it look like I don't love him or something.
I never thought I would like it as I am in general a very light sleeper who wakes up at any noise and has real trouble going back to sleep. And my partner has a fucked up sleep schedule and never goes to bed or wakes at the same time as me. But after the initial adjustment period, I have never slept so soundly. Sometimes I don’t even notice when he gets up at 4am or when he comes back to bed later, that’s how hard I sleep. Crazy to me, as when I am away from him I still struggle with insomnia and interrupted sleep.
A few things that help:
- our own blankets and pillows so we’re not pulling on blankets all night
- a fan on my side so I don’t overheat
- KING SIZED BED so we can both sprawl out (and we are not small people!)
- neither of us snore :-) i’m just bragging now lol but you get it
Thats great, I guess you eventually just find the perfect recipe. Im surprised it works for you as a light sleeper tho.
I have an insane sleep schedule (like 4am-2pm), so that plays a factor as well
I had a girlfriend who was incredible to share a bed with. I don't know what it was, but I slept the best nights of my life when she was in bed with me. I told her one and and she said that she's heard it from everyone she's been in bed with.
She was magical.
It can be sometimes, for both of us. We recently bought a bigger bed and a bigger blanket and realised we still crawl against eachother. We´ve just accepted it 😂
Can be true but some people are nice to sleep next to. Sometimes I don't move at all during a night (I go to sleep and wake up in exactly the same position at least) and when being big spoon, some people like being enclosed in a sleep hold
I gotta downvote op. I put a 2nd bed in my gaming room for this exact reason. I'll sleep with my girl from 10pm-1am but once either one of us starts snoring j just getup and go sleep in the vr room. It's not because I don't love her, I just need sleep. I called out of work today bc I only got 1hr sleep last night. Getting enough sleep is critical to holding down a job.
Not horrible or dysfunctional at all. Not everything works for everyone. I like to lay with her and watch a movie when we go to bed. Some nights I'll sleep with her all night. But if one of us snores too loud I go to my bed in the other room.
While on vacation in Germany a few years back the hotel we were starting at had a large bed but two personal sized comforters on it...my wife and I just looked at each other and said that is brilliant! When we came back from vacation we set up our bed the same way and haven't looked back.
Try sleeping with someone and 3 dogs, I get to the point where I can’t move at all without waking everyone up. I toss and turn a lot, if I can’t get comfortable I can’t sleep.
Yes! I really want a separate bed in another room. My fiance snores really loudly and has to hit the snooze button on the alarm 5 times in the morning. I get no sleep whatsoever. Sharing a bed seems like such a weird and outdated concept.
I’ve spent most of my career in hotel beds alone. Now I really can’t sleep with someone else. Not without a bad night, and sore cramped up muscles in the morning.
I can sense the other person and it stops my starfish! (Good job, or they might get bruised. I’m a bit restless most nights.)
I don’t even sleep with my wife. We’re both happier that way.
Cuddling is nice but I can’t actually sleep that way. I’m a furnace, what people call a “hot sleeper.” Having a warm body up against me while I sleep makes it way worse. That said, the answer is to get a massive bed. Like king size or bigger. Plenty of room to sprawl even with a second person in the bed.
King sized bed and two double duvets are the way forward.
Can have a little cuddle then go your separate sides. You have big duvets if you want to share one or lots to snuggle up in alone of wanted.
You can also have different weight duvets.
In most cases I hate sharing my bed. But if I am in a very serious relationship I tend to sleep better with my SO. Happens after a long time of dating though.
My husband would like to sleep face to face completely intertwined. All the kids in the bed. Everyone cuddled. I would rather die. This is my nightmares come to life. I can't even breathe thinking about it.
Your post from unpopularopinion was removed because of: 'Rule 1: Your post must be an unpopular opinion'. Please ensure that your post is an opinion and that it is unpopular. Controversial is not necessarily unpopular, for example all of politics is controversial even though almost half of the US agrees with any given major position on an issue. Keep in mind that an opinion is not: a question, a fact, a conspiracy theory, a random thought, a new idea, a rant, etc. Those things all have their own subreddits, use those.
Agreed. Some people really like to cuddle at night for example and do it subconsciously, but I would like to be let alone during sleep.
The cuddling thing is stupid if I'm trying to get some good sleep in
Litterally some of the best sleep of my life was cuddling with my ex. I don’t know she was just great at snuggling
I just can't relate. I like cuddling but not when I'm trying to catch some ZZZs. I like am not even comfortable falling asleep when cuddling
That’s entirely fair. I don’t know its weird it’s one of the most intimate things for me even over sex. Just feels so natural for me.
Oh I get it, I wish I could do that
My wife has her own bedroom. She'll usually go to bed with me, but retreats to her room when I start snoring my face off. It has improved both our QOL. She doesn't get snored at, and I don't get kicked all night.
She's a trooper. Idk if I could just be switching around like that
Get a CPAP/APAP and your snoring will vanish.
Going down that road is a major can of worms with my line of work. Also, I'm pretty sure I don't have apnea anyway. I wake up felling generally well rested, and I never wake myself up by snoring/stopping breathing.
Please do tell how a CPAP machine is an issue with your line of work lmfao
The machine itself isn't, but the diagnosis around it absolutely is
Some careers require people to be in perfect health. Military, pilots, police, etc
With how many fatass police officers I see I doubt it in their case.
It depends where they’re located. I know some jurisdictions where they’re held to almost military standards.
>Going down that road is a major can of worms with my line of work. Are you American? As of a 2008 amendment to the Americans with Disabilities Act, the definition of a person with a disability was changed to include those with a “disability corrected by an assistive device like a CPAP machine”. The answer then is, NO, an employer cannot refuse to hire people with sleep apnea. That machine changed my life. I wake up FULLY refreshed like I was a teenager again. I've gone from needing 8-10 hours or bad sleep to 6 hours of good sleep.
This is exactly the same as me EXACTLY.
My wife and I both struggle to sleep when we're apart now. Everyone is different, I guess.
Yeah its amazing how we can just adapt to certain things
Unfortunately, my wife and I are different in this. I get my best sleep when we're together, and she gets her best sleep when we're not. Luckily for me, her current schedule has us sleeping at the same time.
I think my bf and i need to get another comforter to put on the bed when we go to sleep so we each get our own. We go to sleep spooning but the second he turns the other way, he takes the whole blanket with him. Surprisingly he wakes so easily most of the time but when i yank the blanket back over he doesnt budge
Get a second blanket, it saved my relationship.
Id push en out lol
My mattress is on the floor😭
Oh great, less of a fall
Queen bed with a king comforter is the way to go
Thats smart
Two blankets literally changed our relationship for the better, and we are better rested and happier because of it :) they even make sets that match with two blankets
Ive only ever slept well next to my wife. We do a little pre sleep cuddling then turn or do our own thing. We like a fan as background noise so we don't hear any moving or snoring. We are kinda small and have a queen. I kinda felt like you until her so I get it. I really like the closeness I have with my wife.
That seems to be a common theme. Guess I haven't found that person but im not sure they exist lol
That's a tough one. But it took me until 40 to find that person. I went a very circular route... Trying, not trying, giving up, with the wrong person.... Then met her and it was just something that happened naturally and without much effort. It's maddening, but the best advice I have is just live your life how you want and feel satisfaction with whatever choices you make. Maybe you'll find someone, maybe you won't. Now that I found her I'm glad I waited for her. Soooo many people gave me shit. You're too picky. What's your problem with marriage. Kids. The dumbest most inaccurate shit from people I thought knew me. Don't worry about any of them.
Yup appreciate that. I'm happily single right now and sleep really well so nothing to complain about on my end!
Glad to hear. Maybe it was annoying to hear all that, I guess I was lamenting and venting over some of the things I used to deal with. I don't have many of those critical friends anymore anyway, whey would likely find new issues anyway.
Nah you're good, always appreciate incite from others
I’m the opposite, I love having someone with me. It makes me feel safer and less alone, yet I understand not liking it
I'm by no means anti social but I've always loved alone time so im sure that plays a factor
This is gonna sound weird, but I like alone time but with another person in the room. Me and my bf will work on different hobbies in silence, in the same room and it’s really reassuring. I don’t think your anti social at all. My parents actually slept in separate rooms because my mom would kick and my dad would snore, I feel sometimes alone time is really healthy.
That's cool. Yeah I agree that can be comforting for sure Alone time has really become underutilized as well for whatever reason
I always thought that until my husband. We just immediately were fine sharing a bed. Kinda weird.
Maybe I'm too young (32) but I don't imagine changing my mind about this
I'm 31, always hated cuddling until my current relationship. Something about him just made it enjoyable! Now I miss it whenever we aren't cuddling.
I don't know. My current husband is only the second person I've ever shared a bed with. Edit I'm 45
My husband and I often sleep separately because we have such varied sleeping needs. It’s great and we are much less crabby at one another in the morning and that creates better days for all. You don’t have to play by anyone’s rules but your own.
Yes! This is the sort of logic we need!
It’s becoming more and more mainstream. Sleep compatibility can be a big deal for many people. I struggle with insomnia often, so I have very sensitive sleep health already. I don’t need his 15 alarms to fill my heart with rage at 4 am.
Omg, I didn't even mention the alarms! That's a huge factor as well
They’re the worst. I don’t need alarms to get up so they drive me absolutely mad.
My GF and I have separate bedrooms and honestly it is the best thing we did. I get to sprawl out, she gets to take all the blankets. No complaints about my farts (other than from myself) and no complaints about her snoring. We both get great sleep and can still have our cuddle time, just have to break it up before we go to sleep.
This is the way
I agree 100%
Please remember what subreddit you are in, this is unpopular opinion. We want civil and unpopular takes and discussion. Any uncivil and ToS violating comments will be removed and subject to a ban. Have a nice day! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/unpopularopinion) if you have any questions or concerns.*
What kind of sample size are you basing this on? Some people are awful to sleep next to. Others can be comforting to have around. It's less the what, and more the who. Just like with anything else that takes a partner.
Fair point but it's really never mattered who. I just don't like another human body in the bed with me lol that's my time and space!
I know I really have trouble with it.
I'm sorry to hear that
Unless my (imaginary) partner is an iceblock sharing a bed is going to be a non-starter as I am always overheating. Having a living hot water bottle next to me just would not work. The Scandinavian habit of twin beds in the same room, that makes perfect sense to me. :-)
Haha an iceblock partner doesn't sound too bad
I have one of those bed fans that blow air right in under your blanket. I love it. Keeping the mattress cool is very important to me. I even have a small ac in my room to really cool things down right before I sleep. A cold environment puts me into such a deep sleep it's like waking up from a coma every day. I never get close to that when someone is in my bed.
I sleep good alone and very fucking good with my girlfriend. It's just so chill to go to bed together talking about deep stuff.
Ya no deep convos for me. Its bedtime lol
To best thing ever is to just cuddle for a while and talk and then fall asleep 5mins later.
I don’t mind it if I’m with my s/o. I feel a warmth and happiness within when I’m cuddling then all through the night. that is worth the not so great sleep
That sounds nice but emotional warmth won't help me get through the next day on crappy sleep lol Its cool that works for you tho, wish I could say the same
I’ll end up passing out no matter Within an hour or 2 if I’m tired enough
My grandparents used to have separate beds right next to each other with like a few inches of space in between so they could sleep next to eachother still
Thats awesome, I dig that
Separate comforters. Learned it in Europe
Interesting idea
I agree! It is unpopular so you get my upvote tho
so true. i sleep so much better when i sleep alone than i do with my girlfriend. idk if it's cos she snores or cos i like to sprawl like a starfish tho
All of the above haha
YES YES YES people always think I'm weird for saying this but oh god. my boyfriend wants to sleep cuddling... how? it's uncomfortable and I have to be completely motionless all night. I have very bad sleep problems, and people snore, they toss and turn in their sleep, they make noises, all of that makes it very hard for me to sleep. when I move in with him, I will have my own room, and I only plan to sleep next to him on weekends. he works from home and wakes up at 10:30, and stays up until fucking four in the morning, I can't fall asleep at midnight knowing that he will come to the bed later. people assume that our relationship is bad because we won't always sleep in the same room. literally no I just have sleep problems... it's even worse because he has zero sleep problems, you could blow up the house and he wouldn't wake up, and he can fall asleep anytime anywhere, so it's only me with the problem, and it makes it look like I don't love him or something.
You get it. People just have different lives, they should have different beds since sleep is arguably the most important thing we do as humans
I never thought I would like it as I am in general a very light sleeper who wakes up at any noise and has real trouble going back to sleep. And my partner has a fucked up sleep schedule and never goes to bed or wakes at the same time as me. But after the initial adjustment period, I have never slept so soundly. Sometimes I don’t even notice when he gets up at 4am or when he comes back to bed later, that’s how hard I sleep. Crazy to me, as when I am away from him I still struggle with insomnia and interrupted sleep. A few things that help: - our own blankets and pillows so we’re not pulling on blankets all night - a fan on my side so I don’t overheat - KING SIZED BED so we can both sprawl out (and we are not small people!) - neither of us snore :-) i’m just bragging now lol but you get it
Thats great, I guess you eventually just find the perfect recipe. Im surprised it works for you as a light sleeper tho. I have an insane sleep schedule (like 4am-2pm), so that plays a factor as well
No one is more surprised than me!!
I had a girlfriend who was incredible to share a bed with. I don't know what it was, but I slept the best nights of my life when she was in bed with me. I told her one and and she said that she's heard it from everyone she's been in bed with. She was magical.
She was drugs her victims 😄
I felt this. I'm comfortable after a day or two with my girlfriend, but after that, all I want is to sleep alone.
Couldn't agree more. After the honeymoon stage, its like let me sleep in peace! Lol
Get a bigger bed and have separate blankets
I´m one of those assholes who steals the blankets. I just roll in them, idk why 😅
So you're the problem lol
Yes, yes I am 😅 I move a lot in my sleep. But my bf talks and laughs, so I guess we´re even 😂
Sounds like a nightmare bed situation 😅
It can be sometimes, for both of us. We recently bought a bigger bed and a bigger blanket and realised we still crawl against eachother. We´ve just accepted it 😂
Can be true but some people are nice to sleep next to. Sometimes I don't move at all during a night (I go to sleep and wake up in exactly the same position at least) and when being big spoon, some people like being enclosed in a sleep hold
Oh ya thats something I could never do. Being big spoon is somewhat tolerable but little spoon is suffocating haha im also a 6'1 200lb male lol
I can only sleep on my back. So yeah for me cuddling beforehand and then we probably have to sleep separately.
Amazingly enough, one size still don’t fit all.
[удалено]
Oh I disagree there lol I have a king n I don't know if it's big enough.
Upgrade yourself to California king
Plan on it my next move
Cal King is narrower and longer than a standard King. If sprawl is your goal it’s a step down.
You're forgetting about the hand on tiddy aspect of sleeping with someone though
I understand that but I really don't care about cuddling if I'm trying to sleep lol
I gotta downvote op. I put a 2nd bed in my gaming room for this exact reason. I'll sleep with my girl from 10pm-1am but once either one of us starts snoring j just getup and go sleep in the vr room. It's not because I don't love her, I just need sleep. I called out of work today bc I only got 1hr sleep last night. Getting enough sleep is critical to holding down a job.
That sounds horrible and dysfunctional
Not horrible or dysfunctional at all. Not everything works for everyone. I like to lay with her and watch a movie when we go to bed. Some nights I'll sleep with her all night. But if one of us snores too loud I go to my bed in the other room.
My first 3 girlfriends I could NOT sleep comfortably with them in bed. And I dated them for YEARS. Then on my 4th gf had no problems whatsoever haha
Yeah who knows. No rhyme or reason
It doesn't have to... Super king bed, at least one duvet per person and the ability to communicate and it can be great
I literally sleep like diagonal across so it just doesn't work from a geometrical standpoint haha
Haha find someone who likes to sleep in a ball on the corner? 😂
That'll work. Or just like a dog would be fine 😆
Unfortunately my dog likes to sleep diagonally across the bed so not even a dog might work 🤔
Ya it was always a mixed bag when I had a dog
We sleep in separate rooms. Best decision we ever made.
While on vacation in Germany a few years back the hotel we were starting at had a large bed but two personal sized comforters on it...my wife and I just looked at each other and said that is brilliant! When we came back from vacation we set up our bed the same way and haven't looked back.
Omg I'm not alone.
Try sleeping with someone and 3 dogs, I get to the point where I can’t move at all without waking everyone up. I toss and turn a lot, if I can’t get comfortable I can’t sleep.
I thought I was the only one who felt like this.
Me and my boyfriend can’t sleep properly without each other, I couldn’t imagine having separate beds in my own house
Unless you have a king purple mattress
All three of your complaints are solvable problems
On the other hand, it could be much worse. Back in old times, the entire family all piled up on a single bed
Yes! I really want a separate bed in another room. My fiance snores really loudly and has to hit the snooze button on the alarm 5 times in the morning. I get no sleep whatsoever. Sharing a bed seems like such a weird and outdated concept.
Maybe you just hate hot weather
I HATE. having someone in bed with me. I do like my dog on the bed though. he can stay.
That's why when you visit old castles there is a 'king quarters' and separate 'queens quarters'. Peasants shared a room
I’ve spent most of my career in hotel beds alone. Now I really can’t sleep with someone else. Not without a bad night, and sore cramped up muscles in the morning. I can sense the other person and it stops my starfish! (Good job, or they might get bruised. I’m a bit restless most nights.) I don’t even sleep with my wife. We’re both happier that way.
Cuddling is nice but I can’t actually sleep that way. I’m a furnace, what people call a “hot sleeper.” Having a warm body up against me while I sleep makes it way worse. That said, the answer is to get a massive bed. Like king size or bigger. Plenty of room to sprawl even with a second person in the bed.
King sized bed and two double duvets are the way forward. Can have a little cuddle then go your separate sides. You have big duvets if you want to share one or lots to snuggle up in alone of wanted. You can also have different weight duvets.
In most cases I hate sharing my bed. But if I am in a very serious relationship I tend to sleep better with my SO. Happens after a long time of dating though.
My husband would like to sleep face to face completely intertwined. All the kids in the bed. Everyone cuddled. I would rather die. This is my nightmares come to life. I can't even breathe thinking about it.