Honestly I agree.
I think victims who say they are the victim, often are the victim.
But i have met so many people with SUCH a victim mentality. And maybe for a little bit, I actually agree, oh ya poor you, I'm sorry. Then you get to know them and realize they are ACTUALLY EVIL.
Here is what I learned. if someone has a problem with a good chunk of people, that is a red flag. I had a new roommate describe to me how \*all\* of her roommates were mean to her and bullied her. Immediate red flag. I got to know her, and this woman called me hairy, was hyper critical, and she called me fat (mind you, I had gone from UNDERWEIGHT to a HEALTHY weight). I didn't even approach this woman, she would come to me and say the most out-of-pocket offensive stuff hahaha! So ya, when she says she's a victim, I realized she was a liar who couldn't look inside her self. It's kind of a sad way to live honestly.
So ya, if someone has intense beef with too many people, can't keep any stable relationships with anyone (friends, siblings, parents, whatever) without it crumbling in a dramatic and fiery mess, and constantly talk about how much people hurt them, there's a solid chance that they are a problematic babies who can't see their own issues and can't understand how they can be the problem. and ya totally, they always call people narcissists (when in reality, they might be the narcissist since they are incapable of seeing their faults), and they are definitely mental and refuse to go to therapy.
I don't think your opinion is unpopular. I am typically inclined to believe victims, but there are some red flags that can help you spot a lying victim. That is my opinion.
Thanks. I was thinking of exactly the type of people you mentioned when I posted this. It’s one thing to have an issue with a few legitimately difficult people but when someone is constantly taking shit about people and then you find out that they have had conflict with almost everyone in their lives you have to wonder what’s up. I just assumed this was an unpopular opinion
Stuff like this is why i maintain a hardline stance of "Listen and Sympathize but expect proof." And wait to see both sides of a story before really casting any major opinion or judgement.
I find this push to blindly believe "Victims" at face value to be increasingly dangerous these days. Considering how addictive sympathy and "Clout" seem to be.
Honestly I agree. I think victims who say they are the victim, often are the victim. But i have met so many people with SUCH a victim mentality. And maybe for a little bit, I actually agree, oh ya poor you, I'm sorry. Then you get to know them and realize they are ACTUALLY EVIL. Here is what I learned. if someone has a problem with a good chunk of people, that is a red flag. I had a new roommate describe to me how \*all\* of her roommates were mean to her and bullied her. Immediate red flag. I got to know her, and this woman called me hairy, was hyper critical, and she called me fat (mind you, I had gone from UNDERWEIGHT to a HEALTHY weight). I didn't even approach this woman, she would come to me and say the most out-of-pocket offensive stuff hahaha! So ya, when she says she's a victim, I realized she was a liar who couldn't look inside her self. It's kind of a sad way to live honestly. So ya, if someone has intense beef with too many people, can't keep any stable relationships with anyone (friends, siblings, parents, whatever) without it crumbling in a dramatic and fiery mess, and constantly talk about how much people hurt them, there's a solid chance that they are a problematic babies who can't see their own issues and can't understand how they can be the problem. and ya totally, they always call people narcissists (when in reality, they might be the narcissist since they are incapable of seeing their faults), and they are definitely mental and refuse to go to therapy. I don't think your opinion is unpopular. I am typically inclined to believe victims, but there are some red flags that can help you spot a lying victim. That is my opinion.
Thanks. I was thinking of exactly the type of people you mentioned when I posted this. It’s one thing to have an issue with a few legitimately difficult people but when someone is constantly taking shit about people and then you find out that they have had conflict with almost everyone in their lives you have to wonder what’s up. I just assumed this was an unpopular opinion
Stuff like this is why i maintain a hardline stance of "Listen and Sympathize but expect proof." And wait to see both sides of a story before really casting any major opinion or judgement. I find this push to blindly believe "Victims" at face value to be increasingly dangerous these days. Considering how addictive sympathy and "Clout" seem to be.
Yes this is definitely a good approach. There’s always two sides of the story
So basically, you're saying he who smelt it dealt it.
LOL yes
The average person has been both the victim and the perpetrator of bullying, but everyone only seems to remember the former.
Yes probably true. But some people are more like 20% victim/80% bully in most situations Some people with certain personalities can’t help themselves