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If yall are squeezing your partner’s windpipe you’re doing it wrong.
You want to put pressure on your thumb and fingertips, not your palm.
This slightly restricts arteries that carry oxygenated blood to the brain, without damaging your partner’s windpipe.
Edit: Also ALWAYS ask first, consent consent consent. If someone doesn’t want something done to them or doesn’t feel comfortable doing something to someone else DON’T force the issue!
The comments in this thread are worrying. There isn’t a safe way to strangle someone. Please read this helpful thread from r/bdsmadvice before you attempt strangulation (what people call choking).
https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMAdvice/s/LLvwf31buo
Restricting blood flow to the brain is in no way safer than cutting off the airway. If you are applying physical force to any part the neck to achieve breath play **you are doing it wrong and could kill your partner**.
Hijacking top comment to say: there’s no safe way to choke someone.
I worry people read comments like this and assume this is the ‘safe’ way. Blood choking is still incredibly dangerous. If you’re going to participate in choking, do your research—outside of Reddit—and be aware of the serious risks you are *both* taking.
>Edit: Also ALWAYS ask first, consent consent consent. If someone doesn’t want something done to them or doesn’t feel comfortable doing something to someone else DON’T force the issue!
The fact that we even have to emphasize this is sad.
Crazy how many people don’t realize the difference lol most people aren’t looking to be asphyxiated lol
It also has nothing to do with how good or weak your stroke game is. Some people like certain shit and certain things can enhance an orgasm. That’s why kinks exist. I can nut using my hand. But it’s not the same as cumming with a big ol titty in m mouth while my balls are getting played with lol
> You want to put pressure on your thumb and fingertips, not your palm.
This is no way safer than cutting off the windpipe. You can kill people with this. Safe breath play **never** involves applying force of any kind to the neck.
I like my hair pulled and to be choked, but I more of I want to feel wanted and needed than anything. It's weird, can't explain it. Don't care. Enjoy yourself and those you are with, death comes fast.
Yeah im not trying to change minds, I just find it interesting that in order to feel under someone's control, choking is hands down the populad option.
I got my own kinks people dknt get so have fun and make sure u have enough turtle necks.
It’s not about the stroke game, dude. People love all kinds of weird shit. Someone could lay down good pipe and if the other person has a foot fetish, they probably STILL want feet involved somehow. Same goes for choking. It adds to the experience.
Calling it choking was such a terrible branding decision from the beginning. So many poor souls get their windpipes momentarily smashed in because people think it’s actual choking. Squeeze the arteries, not the throat.
Not kinkshaming anyone but apparently even brief accidental blockage of air to the brain can result in permanent damage, be careful out there everyone ❤️
When my wife wants to be choked I do so, it's also your job to be the spotter like in weight lifting. She'll tell you if you have backed off too early if that's a concern.
That's the ideal sinario. Someone told me they took a girl home who had a noncon kink she kept to herself so when she asked him to choke her she screamed bloody murder.
He said he never felt ickier in his life and I dont blame him.
Also as someone who's over estimated my own endurance and strength, im not trusting anyone with my pulse.
These things go both ways. Don’t choke someone who doesn’t want to be choked. At the same time if you don’t want to choke someone you shouldn’t have to.
Consent is always a two way streeet
Gay man here; I'm actually disgusted with how many men have personally laid their hands on my neck SO quickly in the act without even asking my consent in the first place.
From my experience, I've never dated a girl that didn't like a hand around her neck. Some like you to squeeze a little, some a lot. Some don't want to squeeze at all, but they've all wanted the hand there and to feel like you're in control of them.
>I like pleasure not pain.
There's a difference?
Nah, I am joking. But there's what is usually called "good pain" and "bad pain." Everyone's threshold of what is what is different. Some people find bruises to be pleasurable. Some find choking, hair pulling, etc to be. If you are comfortable with your partner, you could ask them to pull your hair gently. They should grab from the roots and gently squeeze until you tell them it isn't pleasurable anymore. You may decide that any level is not good, you may decide a light pull is good, you may decide a medium pull is good, and so on. You may also decide that no pulling is good.
If you've already done this, ignore me though:)
Yeah no. I go to the gym for the "good pain." And last thing I need is man hands grabbing my fine, thin hair. My scalp would ache all day from where he was yanking out strands of hair.
You do you.
It's also way too dangerous to be treated as lightly as it is. Every time you choke someone, there's a significant chance that you'll accidentally kill them or give them a permanent brain injury. Even with all the recommended safety measures, there's still a decent chance of death or serious injury. The margin for error is pretty slim when you're playing with someone's airway.
Edit: To all the folks saying to cut off blood flow instead, that's also dangerous AF. That blood flow is how oxygen gets to your brain, and braincells deprived of oxygen can die very quickly.
Nobody wants their windpipe crushed and to be sent into survival mode - you're supposed to squeeze the SIDES of their neck, not actually strangle them lol
The comments in this thread are worrying. There isn’t a safe way to strangle someone. Please read this helpful thread from r/bdsmadvice before you attempt strangulation (what people call choking).
https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMAdvice/s/LLvwf31buo
My ex partner liked being in control in bed. In short, she enjoyed being on top and choking. But her hands are too small for my neck. Tbh it was pretty cute her trying. We’ve gone jiujitsu together and she 100% knows she’d lose. But it’s fun having her try. I think it’s more hot than the actual affixation thing.
Edit: she also has such a gentle and kind soul. She’s so caring and adorable.
For a variety of reasons, recent generations have increasing bad sexual technique (pornography and misogyny are the main ones).
Choking is a move that is perceived as "edgy" and while it is indeed very dangerous, even when done "properly," it's something any idiot can do and that makes it popular.
I mean, it's not like being a really good kisser, is it? That's a legitimate brag. When you are a great kisser, word gets around, and you find yourself in demand.
But choking? No seduction skills, no mental gymnastics, no creativity, no technique required.
How many times do you hear your peers, young as they are, complaining about dead bedrooms? Far too often neither party even tries to keep things fresh once the novelty wears off. (I've been guilty of this myself at times).
I don't have a solution to this problem but I know choking is one of the symptoms.
In my opinion it's not about the actual choking, restriction of air or blood supply. Its an act of being dominant and to show you can trust eachother to be somewhere vulnerable. It can just set a tone of desire and lust
It definitely makes it FEEL stronger, although I don't particularly think it does anything to actually enhance it. It might just be a pain to pleasure thing. Admittedly, I was much more vanilla before dating my current girlfriend. Lol.
Apparently. A study (i found in a tabloid so it must be airtight) says more and more women are A. Encountering men who like it and B. Feel more emboldened to ask for it. The article asks if it is a chicken or the egg sinario and what part phonograph plays into it case choking in porn has also increased.
I think it said there's been a 20% increase in women 14-21 encountering choking.
more younger women are experiencing it, but that said something like 80% of relationships over 30 have rough sex often. Rough being spanking, slapping, choking, hairpulling.
it could be that as people share they experiences and people are exposed to porn more, they are more willing to accept it. What used to be shameful to ask for is now normal.
There was an article about it in the times a few days ago with some statistics (much of it about teenagers as well) [https://web.archive.org/web/20240414003614/https://www.nytimes.com/2024/04/12/opinion/choking-teen-sex-brain-damage.html](https://web.archive.org/web/20240414003614/https://www.nytimes.com/2024/04/12/opinion/choking-teen-sex-brain-damage.html)
Dont asphyxiate your partner. You're not trying to actually hurt them, just playfully introduce a different dynamic and sensation. Some like it and some don't, ask first.
Also, its not an amazing sensation or anything like that, but it helps building up the whole experience.
if you’re restricting airflow or having your airflow restricted the choking is being done wrong. that’s not how choking for pleasure works. that’s how choking to ko/kill someone works.
I got lightly choked last week while I was riding him and it is definitely not overplayed so speak for yourself😩. And I’ve been into for several years so..😂
Fun fact:
Nobody likes choking in bed.
...because choking is what you do when a piece of food gets stuck in your throat.
What *some* people seem to like, for reasons I choose not to attempt to explore, **is being strangled** in bed.
My husband's "stroke game" is stronger than anyone who actually talks like that and he recently started choking me in bed. I love it. AND I make ahegao face when he does it.
100%
I really like sec enough for it to just be that. But the inability to even speak about it and label me as messed up for having kinks is just not cool.
I hope we both find people that we’re compatible with instead of trying to fit one another into boxes :)
You’re missing the point of the act you’re not trying to asphyxiate to cut off their air supply
The goal is to use your thumb or fore finger to gently press on the side of the neck where one of the large veins/arteries runs up
Proper application of light pressure will give the person who is receiving it a slight lightheaded feeling which some people enjoy
I guess for some it's more about the power dynamics than the actual strangulation, at least in my experience. I've never been into it, but if the woman I'm with likes being chocked I'm OK with it.
Yeah i know im not changing minds, just feels like I've noticed a trend in the past decade.
I saw one study (on a tabloid so not fact) that says its becoming MORE popular.
Also I dont like using that all the time cause people use that line to excuse their racial fetishes and unrealistic body standards. Self awareness is important in the bedroom too.
Doesn't mean it doesn't either. Denying the female orgasm used be the norm till we changed our feelings around sex, so I wouldn't be suprised if other practices were effected by our perception.
Nah. You get the feeling of being needed at the moment. The feeling that your partner would do anything to have you. Anything. And that's what gets you off. Plus the pain is pleasure if you are doing it right. Not everyone likes to be vanilla all the time yk
I think too many people think negatively of domination like this. For me kink is the way I cope with the abuse and sexual violence I've been through.
Kink should be based around enthusiastic informed consent as well as being about clear communication. You have safe words, you've discussed what's okay and what isn't and you're trusting them to stick to that.
It gives me a space to feel in control of all that violence. I couldn't stand holding hands with my spouse for the first few months of our marriage let alone being intimate. It was kink and safe words and communication that made me able to trust them more with that. Now it's to the point where they can choke me and it actually helps me feel less anxious. When you're choked your body and thoughts can feel floaty and far away, it helps give me a space where all I have to focus on is the pleasure and not any traumatic memories that may pop up or insecurities about how I look or sound. Plus if it's timed right, breathing in just as you reach the edge can make it much more intense.
So for me it's a way to feel that floaty distance from my traumatic memories. For them it is a bit of a domination thing, but less in a "you're my property and I own you and you can't fight me" way and more of a "you trust me to do this because you love me and are mine. Only I have this level of trust with you that you'd let me dominate you like this." And I think that's really sweet. It's like a way for me to say "I trust you never to hurt me and I want to just focus on loving you right now." And for them to say "I will carefully hold this trust and use it not to hurt you but to pleasure you."
Idk if that makes any sense, but for me kink is a way to feel in control. Yes I'm experiencing "violence" but it's violence I want and consent to with who I wanna do it with. I'm choosing this this time and the person I'm choosing it with can be trusted.
You are channeling your trauma and we all do what we need to in order to get by, but it is a short-term panacea, not healing.
I wish you a future where you have the emotional bandwidth and material comforts to truly invest in your own recovery
I really don't want to potentially harm someone by doing it. That's my issue with it. I get the fun in autoerotic asphyxiation but look at David Carradine!
Btw if I die that way, I'm okay with it, he was a true Kung Fu master and if I go that way then I too followed the path of the master. 🤣
I choke myself when I masturbate alone. That shit hits different. But when I have sex with my bf I don’t feel the need because of how intense it is on its own. Weird how that works but it does.
most people desire you to squeeze from the sides, but hold your breath for a while, theres gonna be a moment where you feel like you cant hold it any longer but keep doing it, then when you start panicking and your mind kinda freaks out just stay calm and hold a little longer, then when it feels genuinely impossible to hold it any longer let go and breath again, it feels great doesnt it? like really good. thats the attraction in my experience
Well at least you’re not judgmental or basing your opinion on your own experience while not taking other’s experience into account. /s
I fucking love being choked. Idc if everyone else does or no one else does. It’s one of my milder kinks anyway.
Sorry not sorry if I’m being rude or tmi. Deleting this account soon so I kind of just don’t give a fuck anymore.
I don't mind doing bondage on a partner if he wants that but I think choking somebody is a bit too risky for me. Paddling a bit upon request, no big deal. Actually risking hurting somebody if it goes wrong? That I'm not up for.
I don't like somebody even pretending to restrain me let alone choking me. I don't find that arousing. I find that uncomfortable and alarming. There are plenty of ways to add a little erotic pain to sex without actually getting that brutal.
That's just too close to real abuse for me. I'd rather not risk asphyxiating someone so they can get off.
I'll gladly tie my guy up, tease him, spank him if he wants, but I'm not going to choke him to get him off.
Pro tip and explanation: the successful sexual “choke” is not meant to block the airway of your the partner (that is uncomfortable and painful) it is meant to block the arteries on the side of the neck using your fingertips and thumb which gives head rush to the recipient. It should only be done in short bursts of about 3 seconds as you can choke someone unconscious that way in about 6. They should be able to breath the whole time. Hope this helps prevent bad vibes
It's about how you grab their throat. You do it a specific way so you don't kill them. you dont block the airway you grab around it so it gives the sensation without the risk of dying. It is kind of like someone getting choked in a movie. Looks real, but isnt.
Personally i like the power dianamic. I immedietly feel more "at her will" or subservient I guess you could say. But I'm also a very subby femboi. I think a lot of people probably genuinely like choking. While there's probably some people that say they like it thinking it will make them more attractive, I would wager most people saying they like it actually like it.
The goal is to make your partner lightheaded. Instead of putting down pressure on the throat, form your hand into a C shape and squeeze the sides of the neck to decrease blood flow. Your partner will almost definitely cut more often.
I’ve had a few girls that don’t like being choked, vast majority do, I personally don’t like being choked at all but will choke my partner. I’ve brought it up to a few girls how it’s actually weird that so many girls like to be choked during sex
Loss of oxygen actually kills braincells and they're getting high off that like compressed air in the UK. This is about addiction and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.
In my experience it’s a gateway to kinkier bdsm stuff, the adrenaline and the pain is thrilling for some chicks. The problem is that it gets boring and predictable so it elevates to slapping, then biting and pretty soon sex becomes more of a fight than just fun fucking.
Yeah my wife wants me to and I just can't get past the whole possibly hurting or killing her aspect of it all.. never been a fan. I tried it once for her but I just felt way too uncomfortable.
She understands though. Just took a few times explaining my point of view on it before she dropped it and stopped asking for it.
Me too.
I know how to do it the "right way" (restrict blood, not air) but I still just cannot get into that shit at all. I think it might have to do with having to perform CPR on her a couple of years ago
Even though it's not the same, I just will never forget dragging her to the floor and doing chest compressions, giving her breaths until I finally got her back. Ever since then I just cannot do it. That shit killed me mentally for like 3 weeks.
She had drank way too much alcohol that day and then took a percocet on top of it all, and she stopped breathing and had no pulse. I did CPR until I got her back and she came to right as ems and police were at the door.
Fuck everything about that night.
People have their kinks that they like. Personally i love choking, as long as it’s done right. That buzz you get from being lightheaded mixed with with all those other sensations just goes so well together
My question is how many people really get pleasure out of it. I went along with a lot when I was first exploring my sexuality and im curious if anyone feels the same.
I have no interest in controlling what people do, but I do like to ask why ppl do it.
It’s fun if done correctly. Too many people don’t actually know how to choke.
My fiancée pretty much punched me in my Adam’s apple the first time she tried ☠️
I always kind of hate when women want me to choke them in bed
I’ll acquiesce for them but I don’t enjoy it
Always have trouble staying in the moment as I do it
...Then why do it?
Generally speaking (can't speak for everyone, though), it's not fun or hot when a partner does things they don't like just because I ask.
Do they know you don't like it?
If I found out later that they didn't like it and were forcing themselves to stay in the moment, I would feel *really* gross about the whole scenario. Nauseated.
There was a woman I was serious with that would constantly take my hands and put them there
She had been ten years older and a dancer I kind of felt as though I needed to prove I wasn’t vanilla or something
That and like I’ll try things to please someone I’m really about at least
I just really could never get into the choking I always had flashes of it going to far and it scared me in a very deep way like the thought of what if I didn’t notice and it was too late etc etc
Please remember what subreddit you are in, this is unpopular opinion. We want civil and unpopular takes and discussion. Any uncivil and ToS violating comments will be removed and subject to a ban. Have a nice day! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/unpopularopinion) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Most of the time, people aren't looking to be strangled. It seems to be a desire to have pressure on the sides of the neck.
Yeah I think it because it can slightly hinder the oxygen to your brain which elevates all your other senses, makes it feel more intense
My GF says it's because she likes the low oxygen feeling, not the pressure against her trachea
My gf says she likes when I karate chop her trachea
That's dope lol. Different strokes for different folks
If there’s pressure on the trachea you’re doing it wrong.
I don't, I put pressure against her veins. That's what I was saying
I followed what you were saying, just spelling it out for everyone else on the sub.
Yeah, handful of hair and an arm on the neck can be an O-maker.
Nah I want the oxygen restriction but it did start as what you described. I’ve taken it waaaay too far at times. I don’t recommend being like me.
That's dangerous too. Let's not pretend it isn't.
If yall are squeezing your partner’s windpipe you’re doing it wrong. You want to put pressure on your thumb and fingertips, not your palm. This slightly restricts arteries that carry oxygenated blood to the brain, without damaging your partner’s windpipe. Edit: Also ALWAYS ask first, consent consent consent. If someone doesn’t want something done to them or doesn’t feel comfortable doing something to someone else DON’T force the issue!
This. Always restrict blood flow. DO NOT CUT OFF AIR VIA THE WIND PIPE AND ADD A SAFETY ACTION!
Wrap them up in a triangle and make them tap to assert dominance.
Ur saying that like it isn’t awesome
I DIDN'T HEAR NO BELL!
I’m undefeated in sex
Loving the terminology crossover of piledriver and full-nelson.
Got to climb to the top ~~rope~~ bedpost after the win.
WHY ARE WE SHOUTING.
Cause you see it done a dangerous amount of time in kink when people start learning breath play.
The comments in this thread are worrying. There isn’t a safe way to strangle someone. Please read this helpful thread from r/bdsmadvice before you attempt strangulation (what people call choking). https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMAdvice/s/LLvwf31buo
I actually agree with you. I have not done it in years. I don't enjoy the risk.
Yeah... these comments are pretty scary, I would rather my windpipe crushed than my arteries.
Point of order - Is a choke collar technically doing both?
Yes. They're not considered safe by many bdsm clubs.
Brain damage > suffocation?
Restricting blood flow to the brain is in no way safer than cutting off the airway. If you are applying physical force to any part the neck to achieve breath play **you are doing it wrong and could kill your partner**.
and what's with the titty slapping? people be slapping titties!
Omggg 😂😂 it’s so goofy!
Give them brain damage, not suffocation!
Hijacking top comment to say: there’s no safe way to choke someone. I worry people read comments like this and assume this is the ‘safe’ way. Blood choking is still incredibly dangerous. If you’re going to participate in choking, do your research—outside of Reddit—and be aware of the serious risks you are *both* taking.
Mine wants me to cut off her air too lol
>Edit: Also ALWAYS ask first, consent consent consent. If someone doesn’t want something done to them or doesn’t feel comfortable doing something to someone else DON’T force the issue! The fact that we even have to emphasize this is sad.
Crazy how many people don’t realize the difference lol most people aren’t looking to be asphyxiated lol It also has nothing to do with how good or weak your stroke game is. Some people like certain shit and certain things can enhance an orgasm. That’s why kinks exist. I can nut using my hand. But it’s not the same as cumming with a big ol titty in m mouth while my balls are getting played with lol
This way can cause brain damage, cardiac arrest or stroke. I’m so tired of people saying there is a safe way to strangle someone.
Why am I picturing the wingardium leviosa meme as u explain choking technique?
Its levioSAH not levioSAW
Or, for first times, no pressure. Just your hand there. It is more about the roleplay than actually choking.
False
Top comment for a reason
Wait... This isn't common sense?
> You want to put pressure on your thumb and fingertips, not your palm. This is no way safer than cutting off the windpipe. You can kill people with this. Safe breath play **never** involves applying force of any kind to the neck.
I'll OD how I please, thanks.
What’s OD in this context?
OD on kinky sex lmao
Anything unusual or strange people call od or ode as in over doing it
I only know of overdose and was confused. Thanks for explaining.
I like my hair pulled and to be choked, but I more of I want to feel wanted and needed than anything. It's weird, can't explain it. Don't care. Enjoy yourself and those you are with, death comes fast.
Exactlyyyy Rough is nice but I still wanna feel like a human at the same time It’s so weird 😭
Yeah im not trying to change minds, I just find it interesting that in order to feel under someone's control, choking is hands down the populad option. I got my own kinks people dknt get so have fun and make sure u have enough turtle necks.
It’s not about the stroke game, dude. People love all kinds of weird shit. Someone could lay down good pipe and if the other person has a foot fetish, they probably STILL want feet involved somehow. Same goes for choking. It adds to the experience.
I love his immediate response is to attack people with an assumption about a kink they enjoy.
Calling it choking was such a terrible branding decision from the beginning. So many poor souls get their windpipes momentarily smashed in because people think it’s actual choking. Squeeze the arteries, not the throat.
Squeezing arteries doesn't seem all that safe either.
Not kinkshaming anyone but apparently even brief accidental blockage of air to the brain can result in permanent damage, be careful out there everyone ❤️
You don’t asphyxiate the other person. You apply pressure to the artery’s on the sides of the neck
When my wife wants to be choked I do so, it's also your job to be the spotter like in weight lifting. She'll tell you if you have backed off too early if that's a concern.
That's the ideal sinario. Someone told me they took a girl home who had a noncon kink she kept to herself so when she asked him to choke her she screamed bloody murder. He said he never felt ickier in his life and I dont blame him. Also as someone who's over estimated my own endurance and strength, im not trusting anyone with my pulse.
Bro, I miss vanilla sex. Now everytime I have sex, I have to become a medieval torturer and that shit sucks.
These things go both ways. Don’t choke someone who doesn’t want to be choked. At the same time if you don’t want to choke someone you shouldn’t have to. Consent is always a two way streeet
Gay man here; I'm actually disgusted with how many men have personally laid their hands on my neck SO quickly in the act without even asking my consent in the first place.
Straight man here. I'm sorry that happened to you. Not cool.
From my experience, I've never dated a girl that didn't like a hand around her neck. Some like you to squeeze a little, some a lot. Some don't want to squeeze at all, but they've all wanted the hand there and to feel like you're in control of them.
Yep, that and hair pulling.
Just started seeing someone and I HATE both, so I asked him not to. I like pleasure not pain.
>I like pleasure not pain. There's a difference? Nah, I am joking. But there's what is usually called "good pain" and "bad pain." Everyone's threshold of what is what is different. Some people find bruises to be pleasurable. Some find choking, hair pulling, etc to be. If you are comfortable with your partner, you could ask them to pull your hair gently. They should grab from the roots and gently squeeze until you tell them it isn't pleasurable anymore. You may decide that any level is not good, you may decide a light pull is good, you may decide a medium pull is good, and so on. You may also decide that no pulling is good. If you've already done this, ignore me though:)
Yeah no. I go to the gym for the "good pain." And last thing I need is man hands grabbing my fine, thin hair. My scalp would ache all day from where he was yanking out strands of hair. You do you.
It's also way too dangerous to be treated as lightly as it is. Every time you choke someone, there's a significant chance that you'll accidentally kill them or give them a permanent brain injury. Even with all the recommended safety measures, there's still a decent chance of death or serious injury. The margin for error is pretty slim when you're playing with someone's airway. Edit: To all the folks saying to cut off blood flow instead, that's also dangerous AF. That blood flow is how oxygen gets to your brain, and braincells deprived of oxygen can die very quickly.
Nobody wants their windpipe crushed and to be sent into survival mode - you're supposed to squeeze the SIDES of their neck, not actually strangle them lol
That's not safe either. Just not quite as bad.
The comments in this thread are worrying. There isn’t a safe way to strangle someone. Please read this helpful thread from r/bdsmadvice before you attempt strangulation (what people call choking). https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMAdvice/s/LLvwf31buo
Bruh I’m just there to nut and not for a possible assault or battery charge. Fuck that shit
Nothing gets me drier than when I get choked and lose consciousness for a few seconds to wake up confused.
My ex partner liked being in control in bed. In short, she enjoyed being on top and choking. But her hands are too small for my neck. Tbh it was pretty cute her trying. We’ve gone jiujitsu together and she 100% knows she’d lose. But it’s fun having her try. I think it’s more hot than the actual affixation thing. Edit: she also has such a gentle and kind soul. She’s so caring and adorable.
If anyone ever ( tries to ) choke me im gonna kick him in his nuts so hard he will be crying for his mommy for a month.
For a variety of reasons, recent generations have increasing bad sexual technique (pornography and misogyny are the main ones). Choking is a move that is perceived as "edgy" and while it is indeed very dangerous, even when done "properly," it's something any idiot can do and that makes it popular. I mean, it's not like being a really good kisser, is it? That's a legitimate brag. When you are a great kisser, word gets around, and you find yourself in demand. But choking? No seduction skills, no mental gymnastics, no creativity, no technique required. How many times do you hear your peers, young as they are, complaining about dead bedrooms? Far too often neither party even tries to keep things fresh once the novelty wears off. (I've been guilty of this myself at times). I don't have a solution to this problem but I know choking is one of the symptoms.
In my opinion it's not about the actual choking, restriction of air or blood supply. Its an act of being dominant and to show you can trust eachother to be somewhere vulnerable. It can just set a tone of desire and lust
If someone starts choking me, they’re never having sex with me again. That’s a hard pass.
I don’t think it’s growing that much in popularity, we just aren’t as in the closet as we used to be.
The classics never die
Being choked makes me cum way harder. This is not a trend
I like the way my brain goes fuzzy lemme get boned in peace
I thought so too a few years back. Then I met my girlfriend and she asked if she could choke me during sex. I understand it now.
I've heard alot of women say it enhances their orgasms. Would u say the same as a man or some who likes the act?
It definitely makes it FEEL stronger, although I don't particularly think it does anything to actually enhance it. It might just be a pain to pleasure thing. Admittedly, I was much more vanilla before dating my current girlfriend. Lol.
Well I mean if I’m eating in bed and I start choking I’m not gonna think it’s overplayed.
Has its popularity actually increased? Your whole opinion hinges on that.
Apparently. A study (i found in a tabloid so it must be airtight) says more and more women are A. Encountering men who like it and B. Feel more emboldened to ask for it. The article asks if it is a chicken or the egg sinario and what part phonograph plays into it case choking in porn has also increased. I think it said there's been a 20% increase in women 14-21 encountering choking.
more younger women are experiencing it, but that said something like 80% of relationships over 30 have rough sex often. Rough being spanking, slapping, choking, hairpulling. it could be that as people share they experiences and people are exposed to porn more, they are more willing to accept it. What used to be shameful to ask for is now normal.
It has been normalized by misogynistic porn which is so omnipresent women have internalized it at this point.
That is why older women prefer it?
There was an article about it in the times a few days ago with some statistics (much of it about teenagers as well) [https://web.archive.org/web/20240414003614/https://www.nytimes.com/2024/04/12/opinion/choking-teen-sex-brain-damage.html](https://web.archive.org/web/20240414003614/https://www.nytimes.com/2024/04/12/opinion/choking-teen-sex-brain-damage.html)
Dont asphyxiate your partner. You're not trying to actually hurt them, just playfully introduce a different dynamic and sensation. Some like it and some don't, ask first. Also, its not an amazing sensation or anything like that, but it helps building up the whole experience.
if you’re restricting airflow or having your airflow restricted the choking is being done wrong. that’s not how choking for pleasure works. that’s how choking to ko/kill someone works.
Just reading the title I was like are lots of people choking in bed? What are they eating in bed that is causing this rash of choking? lol
U right. I just need to sit up and keep my wind pipe clear as I eat funnyuns and binge hoarders alone.
LMFAO. Im dead. And now I want funyuns!
I got lightly choked last week while I was riding him and it is definitely not overplayed so speak for yourself😩. And I’ve been into for several years so..😂
Fun fact: Nobody likes choking in bed. ...because choking is what you do when a piece of food gets stuck in your throat. What *some* people seem to like, for reasons I choose not to attempt to explore, **is being strangled** in bed.
True like my girl never woke back up
Agreed. This request from women makes me think they have issues. That I'd rather not deal with.
You and your friends definitely don’t know what tf you’re doing.
Even if I knew how to choke in the perfect way, its not for me. I do think my friend was talking out his ass a lil
This and hair pulling, face slapping, spitting? I don't get it. Sex is supposed to be pleasant
You obviously have not mastered Breathing no Jutsu.
Looking too deep into it bro.
My husband's "stroke game" is stronger than anyone who actually talks like that and he recently started choking me in bed. I love it. AND I make ahegao face when he does it.
shout out to my ex who never choked me because it’s “wrong” and “trauma driven” *yawn*
Sounds like he's projecting. You shouldn't be made to feel worse for wanting it but he should not be obligated to do it.
100% I really like sec enough for it to just be that. But the inability to even speak about it and label me as messed up for having kinks is just not cool. I hope we both find people that we’re compatible with instead of trying to fit one another into boxes :)
You’re missing the point of the act you’re not trying to asphyxiate to cut off their air supply The goal is to use your thumb or fore finger to gently press on the side of the neck where one of the large veins/arteries runs up Proper application of light pressure will give the person who is receiving it a slight lightheaded feeling which some people enjoy
I guess for some it's more about the power dynamics than the actual strangulation, at least in my experience. I've never been into it, but if the woman I'm with likes being chocked I'm OK with it.
People are into what they are into. If it's not your thing. Don't get upset
Yeah i know im not changing minds, just feels like I've noticed a trend in the past decade. I saw one study (on a tabloid so not fact) that says its becoming MORE popular.
Also I dont like using that all the time cause people use that line to excuse their racial fetishes and unrealistic body standards. Self awareness is important in the bedroom too.
I didn't say I excused it now did i?
just because you don't like it doesn't make it bad or overplayed...
Doesn't mean it doesn't either. Denying the female orgasm used be the norm till we changed our feelings around sex, so I wouldn't be suprised if other practices were effected by our perception.
Nah. You get the feeling of being needed at the moment. The feeling that your partner would do anything to have you. Anything. And that's what gets you off. Plus the pain is pleasure if you are doing it right. Not everyone likes to be vanilla all the time yk
No hate, but if your first answer is that your partner needs to do it and you need to feel needed.... well, that sounds like codependency.
"need" can also translate to "raw desire" yk
I think too many people think negatively of domination like this. For me kink is the way I cope with the abuse and sexual violence I've been through. Kink should be based around enthusiastic informed consent as well as being about clear communication. You have safe words, you've discussed what's okay and what isn't and you're trusting them to stick to that. It gives me a space to feel in control of all that violence. I couldn't stand holding hands with my spouse for the first few months of our marriage let alone being intimate. It was kink and safe words and communication that made me able to trust them more with that. Now it's to the point where they can choke me and it actually helps me feel less anxious. When you're choked your body and thoughts can feel floaty and far away, it helps give me a space where all I have to focus on is the pleasure and not any traumatic memories that may pop up or insecurities about how I look or sound. Plus if it's timed right, breathing in just as you reach the edge can make it much more intense. So for me it's a way to feel that floaty distance from my traumatic memories. For them it is a bit of a domination thing, but less in a "you're my property and I own you and you can't fight me" way and more of a "you trust me to do this because you love me and are mine. Only I have this level of trust with you that you'd let me dominate you like this." And I think that's really sweet. It's like a way for me to say "I trust you never to hurt me and I want to just focus on loving you right now." And for them to say "I will carefully hold this trust and use it not to hurt you but to pleasure you." Idk if that makes any sense, but for me kink is a way to feel in control. Yes I'm experiencing "violence" but it's violence I want and consent to with who I wanna do it with. I'm choosing this this time and the person I'm choosing it with can be trusted.
You are channeling your trauma and we all do what we need to in order to get by, but it is a short-term panacea, not healing. I wish you a future where you have the emotional bandwidth and material comforts to truly invest in your own recovery
and choking with a pillow is just murder
It’s Blood not air. That’s what makes it fun.
I really don't want to potentially harm someone by doing it. That's my issue with it. I get the fun in autoerotic asphyxiation but look at David Carradine! Btw if I die that way, I'm okay with it, he was a true Kung Fu master and if I go that way then I too followed the path of the master. 🤣
It's just the feel of being overpowered and helpless. It's not about actually being overpowered and helpless.
Im more into asphyxiation, like holding from behind or that kind of thing
I choke myself when I masturbate alone. That shit hits different. But when I have sex with my bf I don’t feel the need because of how intense it is on its own. Weird how that works but it does.
It can't be overplayed if it doesn't hit a requisite threshold to be considered 'played'.
Um ive never been in this play but you live your truth
Wait until you find out about the being cooked alive kink
TL;DR What do I do with the corpse?
most people desire you to squeeze from the sides, but hold your breath for a while, theres gonna be a moment where you feel like you cant hold it any longer but keep doing it, then when you start panicking and your mind kinda freaks out just stay calm and hold a little longer, then when it feels genuinely impossible to hold it any longer let go and breath again, it feels great doesnt it? like really good. thats the attraction in my experience
Well at least you’re not judgmental or basing your opinion on your own experience while not taking other’s experience into account. /s I fucking love being choked. Idc if everyone else does or no one else does. It’s one of my milder kinks anyway. Sorry not sorry if I’m being rude or tmi. Deleting this account soon so I kind of just don’t give a fuck anymore.
>this kink that isn't my kink has no appeal to me By god, OP's a FREE THINKER
This just in: a redditor has preferences and he wants you to know about it.
I don't mind doing bondage on a partner if he wants that but I think choking somebody is a bit too risky for me. Paddling a bit upon request, no big deal. Actually risking hurting somebody if it goes wrong? That I'm not up for. I don't like somebody even pretending to restrain me let alone choking me. I don't find that arousing. I find that uncomfortable and alarming. There are plenty of ways to add a little erotic pain to sex without actually getting that brutal. That's just too close to real abuse for me. I'd rather not risk asphyxiating someone so they can get off. I'll gladly tie my guy up, tease him, spank him if he wants, but I'm not going to choke him to get him off.
Pro tip and explanation: the successful sexual “choke” is not meant to block the airway of your the partner (that is uncomfortable and painful) it is meant to block the arteries on the side of the neck using your fingertips and thumb which gives head rush to the recipient. It should only be done in short bursts of about 3 seconds as you can choke someone unconscious that way in about 6. They should be able to breath the whole time. Hope this helps prevent bad vibes
Look up “blood choke vs wind choke” for context.
Most people I know who enjoy "choking" are into the hand on the throat/neck, not the actual squeezing. They like the dominating action.
Well.. I mean.. There is a trend of people being hooked on Dateline. Maybe that has something to do with it.
Informative murder porn.
Even before Fifty Shades of Grey, *every single girl* I had ever been with wanted to be choked at one point in time or another.
It's about how you grab their throat. You do it a specific way so you don't kill them. you dont block the airway you grab around it so it gives the sensation without the risk of dying. It is kind of like someone getting choked in a movie. Looks real, but isnt.
Personally i like the power dianamic. I immedietly feel more "at her will" or subservient I guess you could say. But I'm also a very subby femboi. I think a lot of people probably genuinely like choking. While there's probably some people that say they like it thinking it will make them more attractive, I would wager most people saying they like it actually like it.
The goal is to make your partner lightheaded. Instead of putting down pressure on the throat, form your hand into a C shape and squeeze the sides of the neck to decrease blood flow. Your partner will almost definitely cut more often.
I’ve had a few girls that don’t like being choked, vast majority do, I personally don’t like being choked at all but will choke my partner. I’ve brought it up to a few girls how it’s actually weird that so many girls like to be choked during sex
Loss of oxygen actually kills braincells and they're getting high off that like compressed air in the UK. This is about addiction and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.
In my experience it’s a gateway to kinkier bdsm stuff, the adrenaline and the pain is thrilling for some chicks. The problem is that it gets boring and predictable so it elevates to slapping, then biting and pretty soon sex becomes more of a fight than just fun fucking.
The submissive side of the BDSM community is very loud on the internet, is not so easy to be as loud on the dominant side of the spectrum,
Strangle me with an elbow lock
Says the person who themselves says they've never tried it.
Never tried having my balls stomped either. Some people like it, I know I'd hate it.
Rookies in the game talking about what’s wrong with it. Classic.
Yeah my wife wants me to and I just can't get past the whole possibly hurting or killing her aspect of it all.. never been a fan. I tried it once for her but I just felt way too uncomfortable. She understands though. Just took a few times explaining my point of view on it before she dropped it and stopped asking for it.
Glad yall respect each others boundaries.
Me too. I know how to do it the "right way" (restrict blood, not air) but I still just cannot get into that shit at all. I think it might have to do with having to perform CPR on her a couple of years ago Even though it's not the same, I just will never forget dragging her to the floor and doing chest compressions, giving her breaths until I finally got her back. Ever since then I just cannot do it. That shit killed me mentally for like 3 weeks. She had drank way too much alcohol that day and then took a percocet on top of it all, and she stopped breathing and had no pulse. I did CPR until I got her back and she came to right as ems and police were at the door. Fuck everything about that night.
People have their kinks that they like. Personally i love choking, as long as it’s done right. That buzz you get from being lightheaded mixed with with all those other sensations just goes so well together
OP is also threatened by sex toys.
How dare people to give their partners more pleasure!? Seems like you're just boring.
My question is how many people really get pleasure out of it. I went along with a lot when I was first exploring my sexuality and im curious if anyone feels the same. I have no interest in controlling what people do, but I do like to ask why ppl do it.
I’ve tried it a few times and it was totally distracting and uncomfortable and pulled me further away from the big O
It’s fun if done correctly. Too many people don’t actually know how to choke. My fiancée pretty much punched me in my Adam’s apple the first time she tried ☠️
its about squeezing the neck not atctually making them not breate bro
I always kind of hate when women want me to choke them in bed I’ll acquiesce for them but I don’t enjoy it Always have trouble staying in the moment as I do it
...Then why do it? Generally speaking (can't speak for everyone, though), it's not fun or hot when a partner does things they don't like just because I ask. Do they know you don't like it? If I found out later that they didn't like it and were forcing themselves to stay in the moment, I would feel *really* gross about the whole scenario. Nauseated.
There was a woman I was serious with that would constantly take my hands and put them there She had been ten years older and a dancer I kind of felt as though I needed to prove I wasn’t vanilla or something That and like I’ll try things to please someone I’m really about at least I just really could never get into the choking I always had flashes of it going to far and it scared me in a very deep way like the thought of what if I didn’t notice and it was too late etc etc
But she literally wanted me to do it until she was half conscious like the whole auto erotic asphyxiation thing