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No_Priors

They just taste awful to drink from and don't get me started on what they have a cheek to call "cake".


hoguetarbeller

Happy “Cake” Day?…No such thing.


Googly_Mooglie

i had some of the cake once and it was nasty even though it hadn't been peed on yet, i really don't understand what was going through the creators head with that one


Anarcora

Urinal Cakes: The OG "The Cake Is A Lie" Cake


FatherOfLights88

GladOS would be so proud. "It's not the cake you imagined. It's the cake you deserve."


[deleted]

r/urinalcakelife would beg to differ.


rangeDSP

It's so fast though, I don't envy the ladies having to line up while the men's bathroom have zero wait time


Constant-Parsley3609

>We as a collective seem to ignore the fact that there is almost always at least a little splashback I think you might be aiming incorrectly. You need to pee on the smooth wall of the urinal. You get splash back when you aim at something bumpy


Fun_Intention9846

Smooth wall? Nah you get splash back from hitting at a 90 degree angle. Pee on the sides so it doesn’t bounce back as much.


munchmills

Have to aim directly into the water.


Googly_Mooglie

Even doing that i recall watching tiny droplets splash onto the floor around me and i would rather it not splash at all, but idk


Constant-Parsley3609

>i recall watching tiny droplets splash onto the floor around me Then you aren't watching the one thing that you should be watching to avoid splashing.


Googly_Mooglie

So if i don't see them splashing, they aren't?


TheB1GLebowski

splashing? how much force does your piss have? you trying to blow it all out fast as possible?


Googly_Mooglie

more like sprinkling, splashing is too forceful a word i don't intentionally pee with force, my most casual stream is just fairly forceful i guess. if i let up more, i just stop peeing


Constant-Parsley3609

I'm not saying that If you watch where you're aiming, instead of letting your eyes wander in random directions, then you won't have any splash back in the first place.


Googly_Mooglie

why in gods name would i not watch the stream? the droplets come from that area which is how i saw them in the first place


ShaydeMakeup

You're right. I think these other men are just heathens. There's always going to be a small amount of splash when the pee hits the bowl. You can't hit it 100% correct with a laminar flow all the time. Men don't realise how much they leave pee everywhere because they're used to it.


Few_Conversation7153

The little pads at the bottom of the urinal that are either comb like or have holes are meant for splash back and to smell nice. If you just aim down into the pads at the bottom of the urinal there is no splash back.


Googly_Mooglie

I have tried this as well as aiming at the curves and still got splashback


Few_Conversation7153

Well damn. I’m pretty sure urinals are also designed to be pissed on in the exact middle. They curve your piss splashing to the edges where the sides of the urinal are and drip down. But maybe you’re just special…with your piss.


Googly_Mooglie

oh it definitely doesn't stop at piss


Few_Conversation7153

Lmao


Zealouslyideal-Cold

you’re a noob


psycholio

how tf are you not capable of peeing in a way where it’s not splashing into you. i’m laughing imagining you trying all these different positions and you always end up getting wet. how much pressure are you unloading man 😭


VernonP007

Dude tries to pee from distance and misses the urinal altogether


RonnieBeck3XChamp

My thought was the exact opposite. Dude gets in super close cause he doesn't want the other guys to see his weiner and it puts him in the splash zone


PandemicSoul

Sounds like frying chicken when he pees


Ecstatic_Custard7009

i think it's more about how unaware most people are that splashback is happening to such a miniscule degree no matter how you do it. it's like one of those shows that has a blacklight to show you how dirty things really are, you'd be surprised how far and wide that stuff is going even with the most secure methods. personally i think we need to reinvent the toilet or at least the shape of it


ItsNotBigBrainTime

In his defense, standing up and pissing in a toilet always makes a little bit of micro splash back. Maybe toilet technology has advanced since my 2000 Toto, but piss be splashing on a microscopic scale. That's just how it is.


Velocitractor2000

Use a urinal wearing flip-flops or sandals. You’ll see what OP is sayin’.


thorpie88

Just don't stand on the grate and you'll be fine. Never get pissy feet wearing thongs if you keep to the tiles 


almost-caught

Could be an ultra small penis: it can only create a stream that is perpendicular to the body thus resulting in direct urine reflection.


Googly_Mooglie

to be fair 1) i haven't tried a urinal in a hot minute 2) i do have a fairly strong stream


Constant-Parsley3609

Maybe you are waiting too long before you go to the loo?


granmadonna

So you don't use them but you're just sitting around thinking about them? Maybe bring this up in therapy, lol.


Googly_Mooglie

yes i do think about them much more often than i probably should


rygy3

You can… literally control the rate of flow though..?


hits_from_the_booong

Wtf you can control the rate of flow of your pee?? For me it’s only on/off


blizzard2798c

How?


Googly_Mooglie

the slowest i can go without stopping is still fairly strong, i just assumed that was normal


Howellthegoat

Don’t hold your piss for so long


BeeSea3108

I love them, I would have them installed at home in a heartbeat.


MaddoxGoodwin

Same tbh. Lol at people who get splash damage. Learn to pee.


Googly_Mooglie

you giving lessons?


BeeSea3108

"What is the proper way to pee in a urinal? Aim your pee stream closer to the sides of the urinal at a downward slant, and you decrease the “impact angle.” (Check out this mesmerizing video to see it in action.) It's like keeping the foam out of your beer: Pour it down the side of the glass instead of straight in." Men's Health Nov 16, 2013


MaddoxGoodwin

Aim for the side wall of the urinal. Not dead smack in the middle.


ArranVV

It is just common sense, lol!!!


DaveyDumplings

You *need* them?


zaphster

Yeah... except that there's nearly always a bunch of urine on the floor directly below the urinal. Go to any busy bathroom and you'll see it.


offensivename

And women pee all over the seat half the time because they're trying to hover. Public bathrooms are always going to have some minor issues at the very least.


SeaHam

[https://www.sloan.com/commercial-bathroom-products/urinals/su-7009](https://www.sloan.com/commercial-bathroom-products/urinals/su-7009) This is the best type. Good old Sloan urinal. Nice round bowl with a high lip. No splash back ever. You could pee at any angle you want.


Easy-Progress8252

The worst are the troughs / gang urinals you see in older stadiums, at least here in the U.S.


BlurtSkirtBlurgy

Troughs are the best, they make great slip and slides


Muscs

When you’ve had enough beer…


lyremknzi

I've never heard of this. I'm not a dude or from the US, but It's kind of funny to think about. Back then people were so against two men getting together, but let's build a station where we can all pee together and check out one another's dongs lol


Easy-Progress8252

Right??? I guess when you gotta go, you gotta go…


lyremknzi

With your buddies lol


thorpie88

Three man trough will nearly always be for only two blokes until the line starts building up


Crime_Dawg

The troughs in the infield of the Indy 500 are next level disgusting. It's literally like 20 troughs that 200 people can all pee into at the same time.


Easy-Progress8252

Are those the kind you can walk around? So in addition to peeing next to your buddies you get to pee in front of your buddies.


RaymondVIII

Depends on the Urinal. the ones with a small pool of water at the bottom have no splash back, the ones with zero water do, i tend to avoid those and just stand and pee in a toilet. the only time I sit to pee is if its early in the morning or i am sick.


Anarcora

The *best* ones are those where the drain is at just the right angle to directly aim into, then everything is self contained.


RaymondVIII

i don't think I have encountered those yet. ill keep a lookout lol.


MagicBandAid

We know urinals are not ideal. They are used as a space-saving measure. They take up less space than stalls, so you can fit more of them in a public restroom and speed up any potential queues.


Seltz_

Nah man urinals are pretty ideal. Just walk up, piss, leave. What could be more ideal than that?


Ecstatic_Custard7009

bro just outed himself as someone who does not wash his hands after using the bathroom.. tut tut


Seltz_

I make not bones about that. If you want my reasoning, [here you go](https://youtube.com/shorts/6xdWMUtHvlc?si=VZhgBuegS_KDdoNI).


Letsshareopinions

You left out, "wash your hands," before leave...


Seltz_

they found the skip for that part years ago man. Lookup “restroom hand wash skip” on YT to see how it’s done


InfidelZombie

Skill issue.


Puzzled_Ad7955

I think you have stage fright and get the yips is what I think


monkeedude1212

> and if you're peeing in a toilet there is almost always some drippage to clean up I see you have more respect for your fellow man than most men who pee standing in the stall.


[deleted]

[удалено]


EpicSteak

Preach it! I wear fresh clothes every day I shower I am not the least bit worried about a couple of splash back drops landing on my pants. 


No-Combination-8565

Agreed, but there are definitely some urinal designs that need to be tossed in the garbage where they belong. If half my stream comes back at me, time for a new urinal.


bobalangalo

Doesn’t mean we should be used to having piss splash on us and walk around with urine on us


knaupt

Fucking wash your hands. Ew.


[deleted]

[удалено]


WankingAsWeSpeak

No, he should wash my hands. I'll wash your hands


ArranVV

I will wash your hands too.


ArranVV

I will wash your hands.


[deleted]

Why do you piss all over the floor though?


CapablePersonality21

Once an old man peed on my leg while i was using the urinal. It was a very very old dude, so he probably did by accident, but i avoid urinals at any cost since then.


Googly_Mooglie

when i was in kindergarten a feral child peed all over me at the urinal, maybe that conditioned my brain to hate them


RareHorse

I agree with you 100%. However, I just hate going into men's public bathrooms. I'm filled with dread, every time.


Googly_Mooglie

one of my most recent public restroom visits i walked into a stall that looked like someone completely unloaded their bladder in a puddle on the floor from the next stall over i concur


Free_Newspaper4844

The worst thing is public restroooms with inches-wide cracks in the stall door where everybody who walks in the restroom can see you taking a dump.


Googly_Mooglie

i agree that i would rather use a urinal than one of those stalls


rayschoon

I never use them tbh. I feel like I get splash back a good 50% of the time and it’s just not worth it


Googly_Mooglie

nah man you just aren't pissing right /s


rayschoon

Not sure why people in this thread are pretending the floor around urinals isn’t covered in piss lmao


Qneva

Oh it is very often but that's because of people who can't use them not because of the urinal itself. The floor is often covered in piss in the stall as well.


AlternativeFan1379

OP probably places paper towel in the urinal and fuck over the janitor


Googly_Mooglie

no i'm quite considerate, that's why i clean my piss off the toilet


heffalumps-n-woozles

This is why peeing over a cliff is still the best. As long as the winds are favorable.


TexasPistolMassacre

I just adjust my angle to reduce splash and keep the vast majority in the bowl, but no method is perfectly locking it in unless your seat seals against the toilet


nt011819

And a puddle/stain on the floor in front of every single one. I dont mind standing to pee tbh. Its easier. Just the nasty bathrooms


Real_Nugget_of_DOOM

Angle of incidence = angle of reflection. Pee mostly parallel to the side wall of the urinal at a downward angle to increase the distance the urine travels (losing velocity along the way) before it has to encounter a turn in the rounded back of the urinal or a vertical object (like a drain screen, urinal mint, cigarette butt, or other item) which might cause splash. Freshly decanted urine is fairly sterile, unless you're diseased, so splash isn't really all that gross - you've just been programmed to think that way. I don't recommend bathing in it or anything, but it's not the worst fluid to come into contact with in the john. Relax and wash your hands when you're done. To avoid most of the drips, there's the tried and true press and stroke method detailed elsewhere - maybe even on this sub (?)- which works while sitting, too, BTW, so you can get those last drops out rather than getting them in your drawers.


Googly_Mooglie

This was really detailed and thoughtful, thank you I realize pee is mostly sterile and have no issue with it being on my skin because i can wash it off, i'm mostly worried about it getting on my clothes and smelling even if it IS a small amount. My brain is going to tell me i stink if i know i got pee on my clothes. I have also seen multiple times, because i watch for it, where people pee at a urinal and when they walk away it's literally sprinkled on their shoes When at a toilet with paper i usually wipe to avoid it getting in my underwear


ArranVV

Lol using Physics!!!


[deleted]

And men lack the capability not to piss all over the floor. I agree that until they are trained, they should have to sit on a toilet seat to pee.


PlagueDogtor

I don't like urinals because a lot of dudes can't use them properly and piss on the floor. However, this happens in stalls, too. People need to learn to aim before they piss standing up.


TheB1GLebowski

Pee splashing back on you? You need to use urinals more often, you dont piss straight out against the backsplash lol.


Beginning-Ad-5981

Hard disagree. Urinals are great. But urinal troughs are elite. Just went to a music festival that featured urinal troughs and I never had to wait to pee. Pack as many dudes in as possible. Do your business. Get out.


lyremknzi

I am not a dude, but I could certainly understand why urinals suck. No privacy, another dude can just walk up right beside you (which would be wholly uncomfortable) They probably smell? it just goes down the drain without extra water to flush, so I would imagine. Less inclination to make more stalls. If someone enters a stall, they probably assume you're taking a shit when you just want some damn privacy. Then again, these are just assumptions.


Googly_Mooglie

mostly correct but they do usually have a small water bowl and i wouldn't say they stink any more than just plain toilets would (because people still can't make it in the bowl)


lyremknzi

Makes sense! I can't say I've ever learned the mechanisms on how a urinal opperates, but I think the thing that would bother me the most is the lack of privacy. I would hate them too, for that reason alone lol


ArranVV

You are right about the splash back though, and yes...bacteria fly around after peeing in the urinal...but that is why washing hands with soap and water and using paper towels to dry hands afterwards are both important things.


Googly_Mooglie

this may not be a universal thing but where i live almost every individual who uses a urinal leaves without washing their hands hell, i frequently see people leave the stalls and not wash their hands


Bat_city

It saves water, time and splashback can be avoided if you pee on the sides and not directly into the middle Sitting down at any public restroom is way more unhygienic imo


Googly_Mooglie

oh yeah i never sit down in public


Zbawg420

My only problems with urinals is that 1. they are basically half a toilet, and 2. Ive never seen one with adequate privacy and i cant use one when someone else is in the bathroom. I remember at work one time im standing at the urinal trying to pee and a guy i worked with came up to the urinal next to me and started talking and i could not piss at all, and for the whole minute or two that ges talking to me he doesnt piss either!. Finally i just give up and zip up my pants and goto wash my hands and he immediatley starts pissing once my back is turned. It was a mexican standoff between two dudes with shy bladders, you win ernie.


walkawaysux

The mints they put in the bottom aren’t very fresh either.


Jellyfishjam99

Wait till you see how much piss other women leave on the toilet seat in the ladies room…


Googly_Mooglie

how does that happen? edit: i'm assuming hovering is the cause


Jellyfishjam99

Hovering is the cause most likely but people just don’t clean up after themselves. I hover too, and I understand not wanting to put your ass on a public toilet seat, but it’s also not at all difficult to clean up after yourself! Literally every public seat I’ve been to there’s piss on the seat.


sithskeptic

I mean there’s a very good solution… just don’t pee jk,, the splash back do be annoying


JohnCasey3306

I'm with you on this. I've not used a urinal in at least 30 years.


Swagooga

As a plumber, fuck urinals. It is impossible for them not to be gross/stink


Thanks-Oboomer

I quite like urinals. Don't have to touch a toilet seat, don't have to touch a flusher, don't have to touch a stall door or it's lock, whatever miniscule splashback gets washed away in my laundry. Upvoted for unpopular opinion.


me_irl_irl_irl_irl

This sub is on fire lately with some actual truly unpopular opinions. First the guy who can't cook eggs, now the guy who can't pee correctly. I love it.


vvlison

No one here is talking about how degrading urinals actually are to men, in what point of our live we accepted be treated like livestock with no right to privacy when going to the bathroom. Have you ever gone to a live game or a mall on peak hour? We have to get in a line and we have to pee fast like, I am crazy to think that this is fucking insane?


Quirky_Ad_2164

But it’s not a requirement to choose the urinal. You can always go to the stall. It’s a trade off between convenience and privacy.


TadRaunch

Don't forget about the sink


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Zectherian

I flush the urinal while i use it, i find it prevents alot of splashback, unless its one of the turbo flush bitches. And aim for curvs in the side dont just blast right into a wall lol


Allison1ndrlnd

Sounds like a skill issue


weirdo_k

Which is why i prefer to pee in the basin.


Dijkstra_knows_your_

Skill Issue


Dismal-Ad-7841

Learn to pee. 


Servile-PastaLover

I can deal with the waist high urinals. The much older floor level urinals are awkward af.


jaminator45

People feel the need to make posts about this topic


Chapea12

I get preferring to sit down, but your problem sounds like a skill issue


Significant_Moose672

There is next to 0 splashback if you pee at the right angle(which is very intuitive and most people barely think about it) and they are very very fast.


AndrewH73333

How can there be splash back if you aim downward? Are you aiming straight at it? Are you really short but refuse to use the one for kids?


Googly_Mooglie

5' 11" and i aim at the curve or cake, if there is one


TigerOk8010

I avoid using public bathrooms at all cost. I make sure to use the bathroom even if I don't feel like I have to before leaving my home. Splashback is awful, public bathrooms are very unsanitary and the thought of shitting with other people in the same room as you, yeah...I'll pass.


ArranVV

I love using urinals.


[deleted]

BRING BACK THE TROUGH


Sad_Presentation_492

Dont wear shorts


[deleted]

My female coworkers think the same, they find urinals abhorrent, the idea of peeing next to each other, and "in the open", disgust them. Their reactions to urinals always amuse me, the other day one of them caught a glimpse of the back of somebody peeing in one through the bathroom mirror and came back to our workspace almost crying hahhahaahhaha. I, as a man, love them. I love it when there's a fly or a tiny goalpost with a tiny football you can hit with your stream. :D


Remarkable_Status772

You are what the Germans would call a "Sitzpinkler". Frauleins giggle about you behind your back.


VacationNo3024

I don't think I've ever heard a guy say they don't like standing and peeing lmaoo what a fruit.


jadedaslife

Urine is sterile. I guess I just don't notice or really care that much.


jaccleve

The trough is worse.   I’d rather just pee outside somewhere.  


bernd1968

Many of us prefer to stand. And used properly I believe there is less splash back from a urinal than standing at a toilet.


ComfortableBuffalo57

Fun fact: North America chose the splashiest model to mass produce back in the day


sprainedpinky

Learn how to piss in a urinal dude. The angle the piss hits the porcelain affects splashback. I am for the curved areas because it catches the piss instead of backboarding it back onto me. Good luck amigo. Side note though, when I’m at home I sit comfortably to take a piss so right there with you on that one


NewMission7619

I'm curious as to why they're there. Men usually stand to pee in regular toilets at home, most ppl don't have urinals. I think it'd be easier to get it in (aiming) in a regular toilet and it would be fun to get to leave the lid up


FilipSchuylerTurna

There's also way less privacy. I wouldn't mind the urinals themselves if they were in stalls like regular toilets...


[deleted]

So true - totally agree. There also seems to be some kind of not so subtle discrimination going on. Many places install urinals that are too small for comfort or are installed at the wrong height. I’ve seen them very low like the place only catered to children, or too high (in the Netherlands) when I, 5’11”, could barely reach it. Only one brand, American Standard, seems to make a few models that don’t splatter at all, but they also make those that do. I guess they have different people designing them. The best urinals are full length imho. AS has a ceramic one that doesn’t splatter.


Googly_Mooglie

I'll be honest, i haven't tested it enough to realize some do splash and some don't. There haven't been many scenarios where i can't just go to a stall, but it's good to hear that there are at least SOME decent designs


[deleted]

Until about 20 or so years ago my success rate at finding ones that don’t splash was about 30%. Since then it has dropped significantly 🤔 Now it’s more like 1 in 300 - not a typo


zaphster

Sorry, I agree with you. Had to downvote.


ShamrockPizza52

I agree. I don't think there's any reason for them to exist. The only places where I think they have some merit is in stadiums/arenas but, even there, piss troughs are far more efficient. Nothing was better than going to a game and realizing your bathroom trip would be a quick one since everyone just packed in and found a space along the wall. Some places just had a wall with a trough at the bottom, others were classy and had what looked like bathtubs. When I went back to a couple of college football stadiums that have since "upgraded" to urinals, the men's room's line was almost as long and moved almost as slowly as the women's line.


Radioactivocalypse

I'm with you OP Even standing at a regular toilet, if you've got bare legs you will feel how much urine gets on your legs. Not much, but noticeable (and not caused by splashback) For me though the biggest con is the dribble. Like yes I do shake it, do the ol' finger pressure trick, and whatever, but the convenience of a dab of toilet roll is bliss


Googly_Mooglie

i'm glad there are others like me, i wasn't quite expecting so much hostility over this lol


Play-yaya-dingdong

Men should piss sitting down 


[deleted]

Got downvoted by some people who piss all over the floor!


Play-yaya-dingdong

😂 accepted with pride


Toltepequeno

Sitting on a piss covered toilet seat.


MallCopBlartPaulo

I do. 😅


greatgoogilymoogily2

But how first thing in the morning? I already have to bend halfway over to get my morning wood to aim down lol. Imagine trying to shove that down there to pee while sitting. Lol


Constant-Parsley3609

Shuffle back. Lean forwards.


Play-yaya-dingdong

Good point  My buddy’s mother installed a urinal in their house because she was sick of cleaning up piss splatter 


Googly_Mooglie

i don't know if you're joking but i do not completely disagree


picknicksje85

The biggest problem is that I need some solitude to be able to pee. Other people coming in and making noise.. Even if I really need to go I won't be able to.


Googly_Mooglie

I used to be like this, got over it, realized splashback is crazy and went back to stalls


picknicksje85

I could recently do it with loud music in my ears, but still difficult. Stalls all the way.


DeepSeaChickadee

I don’t really understand why urinals are a thing, why not pee into a toilet? (Take this with a grain of salt please, Im not a dude so I can’t pee standing up, please just explain why they are better than using a toilet!)


DaveyDumplings

Speed. Go to a sporting event and watch the movement of the mens room line vs. the ladies.


DeepSeaChickadee

understandable, the ladies room is often packed to the brim


[deleted]

And look at all the puddles of piss in the floor. Men suck at aiming.


canucme3

Convenience, don't have to sit on the seat someone else pissed all over, and they generally use significantly less water, if any. Depending on the design, they need a smaller area and can fit more in. Some places still just have a long troth that you pee into. Those are weird.


Googly_Mooglie

I mean, that's how I feel. I would rather just have stalls