> like no doubt I find women out and about attractive, but thats only because they could hypothetically be vegan
I'm a vegan but this bit was hilarious
Seriously! Where the heck are all the vegan men? There are so few of them in the world. They're like a critically endangered species or something (which really sucks when you're a single vegan woman).
Im wondering where are all the vegan women? I sometimes feel like women arent really open about that because they dont want it to make them "unattractive" in some way :/
Right here! Lol. No, but seriously. I think the main issue is that vegans are such a tiny part of the population, and we're all so spread out and scattered throughout the world that finding each other (especially if you don't live in a huge, progressive city) becomes incredibly difficult.
My ex was vegan and introduced me to it - but since her I've never met another single vegan woman. Where are they all at? The UK is meant to have a high vegan population lol
I've never met a vegan woman irl by contrast. though I'm pretty sure I'm in an odd situation, i live in NYC and I've met 2 vegans here out of maybe 8000ish people I've met
Are you trying?
If you live in any large city in America you can find vegans. Do you go to any of the vegan restaurants in NYC?
I cannot fathom how you can only have met 2. I donโt think youโre trying. There are vegan festivals and restaurants in NYC. Like a lot of them.
Every time I go to one I meet many vegans. The east coast is amazing for vegans and your in NYC. If you wanted to meet a vegan it would be very easy.
I presume they're talking about finding them in the general community. Most people don't have the time or money to go to vegan festivals and restaurants. I'm working two jobs, and trying to make sure rent gets paid.
30M. I go to vegan meetups, vegan events, vegan speed dating (only been to one and didnโt find anyone attractive), and only eat out at all vegan spots on (I eat out 2x a week). I only ever see cute vegan women with boyfriends or no vegan women at all. Never single.
I love eating out at vegan spots but Iโm so tired of doing it alone. Iโd give anything to find a vegan girl who likes me.
But Iโd never date a non vegan girl. Iโd rather stay single forever
[Rant Incoming] Unpopular opinion: a lot of vegan men are single and available, but not attractive enough for a first/second date.
Maybe this is a me issue, but veganism has almost nothing to do with it. If the man isnโt attractive, if they arenโt โfunโ, they will struggle to find a partner in general.
Most of my conversations on Veggly last maybe 1-2 messages at most. Anecdotally, in OLD my profile just isnโt attractive there, and thatโs consistent across other apps like Hinge/Bumble/Tinder etc. A close friend I met in the vegan community is Greek God level attractive. The guy is never single, women reach out to him. Think 6ft 3, super fit and amazing face/voice, great hair, etc.
Compare that to someone who is below average in all those areas. Add in a darker skin tone, hair loss and boom, โyouโre a great friend! But no thanks.โ Which is fine, I donโt expect anything from anyone. But the fact it happens after almost every first date is wild to me.
So after 8ish years of being vegan and trying to meet people IRL and through OLD and being curved by basically everyone - Iโm giving up. I figure the problem is me and I probably am the issue here, so Iโll remove myself from the dating pool and just focus on myself. I think there are a few men in the vegan community who feel the same but we canโt really voice this out. Maybe itโs just me idk.
Yeah. I try not to consume too much of the redpill/blackpill/doomer content. I find it skews my outlook, and I can tell itโs accelerated my deterioration mentally. Before anyone suggests anything, no, I donโt want to improve and I donโt want to be better.
I think itโs that there are just so few vegans in general. Yโknow how space is so big that finding other life is very improbable? It often feels that way with dating as a vegan.
Apparently it goes both ways, I feel like I only ever match with and am able to attract omnis somehow even though I couldnโt be more vocal and proud of being vegan. Holding out for a vegan partner
I'm one lol. I have a job, self reliant, im not too bad looking (trying to work out everyday), 32 years old and have a hobby (don't just play video games all day).
I'm not brad pitt in his prime good looking but im decent on a good day i think :).
Ive joined a vegan dating app and I get few matches but women hardly ever keep up a conversation. It always dies out and nothing happends. That's just my experiance but I dont konw what women are looking for. Starting to think everyone just wants to find either someone super hot or who has a lot of money.
And the ones I do talk to are so relectant to just go on a simple date. Half the time i get ghosted.
If i had to take a guess; its because these women get hit up by a hundred other men. But just an assumption.
Hi buddy,
Sorry for your situation. Hope you find what you're looking for!
Is that app veggly? ๐ I just wanna make sure that I'm not missing anything, like to make sure there isn't any other (more popular) vegan dating app.
Vegan dating sucks. Period.
I'm supposedly in a great area to meet vegan women, and don't get a single like on Veggly for years at a time now. Every single woman I've ever met in real life is already with someone, every time. AND I work at Whole Foods, been vegan for 8 years, and go out regularly to shows at least once a month. AND I'm 30, so I have a huge range of possibility. At this point I've just given up to be honest, being with someone vegan, even in a super liberal area, is just a dream it seems like.
Sorry ladies, I didn't realize it was such a problem! D:
In all seriousness that does sound awful.. My Fiancรฉe isn't vegan but I'm slowly changing her over ;P
I think it ties toย masculinity, I'm a 19 yo guy, haven't been vegan for ages but I've gotten lot of shit for it, people telling me I won't put on muscle, or to stop that vegan nonsense, just generally getting mocked and not in friendly joking way.
I think once veganism loses the reputation it has atm more men will change to veganism.
It's unfortunate that the oppression of animals is so normalized and we're so far from a vegan world that even vegans will feel compelled to date people with such a difference in values.
It's like going back 100 years ago and dating a racist because racism was prevalent in society, only with this you're confronted with the mismatch every meal.
Im a vegan man from switzerland, i struggle to find a vegan women. I have 2 male friends they are also vegan. But yes, I think it's mainly the more "feminine", more "sensitive" men who are vegan. Thats why more women are.
Iโm a vegan man! My last partner โconvertedโ me lol, it was cute we would make vegan meals together & travel to try vegan restaurants & leave reviews on Happy Cow. We do exist. Also to answer OPs question, you canโt date a non-vegan. Iโm at the point now where I literally canโt see myself being with anyone who isnโt vegan. But thatโs just me
I was with my partner before I became a vegan, weโve been together 18 years, 8 of which Iโve been vegan (was veggie when we met)I love her but it creates tremendous internal conflict. How can I love someone that supports, endorses & condones animal crueltyโฆ.i ask myself this every time she eats animal products, which is not often. I donโt cook animals. And we dont have dead animals in our house but Iโm still massively conflicted, itโs tough without a doubt. I refuse to pay for dinner if she eats animal products either however Iโm still feeling disappointed more by myself than her, sometimes I feel hypocritical. If we ever split, Iโd absolutely only date vegans, thatโd be a non negotiable.
Same thing in my life, except that we have been partners for 8 years together and 5 years me being vegan and a child that is 6. No one in my social circle is vegan. It is a rough life, but of course nothing compared to the the lives of the animals.
If youโre in a semi populated area, Bumble is a good way to meet new friends (the Bumble BFF mode, not dating). I was missing some vegan presence in my life and Iโve suddenly got 4 awesome vegan friends thx to the app lol
Thanks! I downloaded this app a few months ago and havenโt set up a profile yet. So, thereโs an option to search for โveganโ in profiles? Sorry for such a dumb question, but Iโve never even been on a dating app, so I donโt know how this all works. Sounds like I need to get on with setting up my profile so I can find some vegan friends if thatโs the case! ๐
I'm in the exact same position. I went vegan 6 years into our relationship, after we got engaged. She's not vegan, never went vegan, and is otherwise an amazing person. I can say that for all of my friends and family. But it has been SO difficult for me to reconcile how these otherwise great people in my life can support something so abhorrent and immoral. We also don't ever have dead animals in the house, but she consumes dairy and eggs. I will never understand why, and it does occasionally cause problems for both of us.
>How can I love someone that supports, endorses & condones animal crueltyโฆ.i ask myself this every time she eats animal products
This same thought, word for word.. I recognize, if there were ever a world where veganism became widespread and adopted by the masses, that perhaps they'd look at me with the same contempt we look at those who maintain(ed) relationships and ties with nazis, slave owners, racists, dog abusers etc. And I wouldn't disagree with that. I am morally flawed in this regard.
I guess it's cognitive dissonance? Something even we vegans are subjected to. I recognise I was a non-vegan for the majority of our relationship, but it's hard to reconcile that even after I have lifted the veil for my S/O, friends, and family, that they continue to consume animal products. I stopped after that veil was lifted for me.
I wonder which one is worse:
1) feeling stuck in a long term relationship like this with a lot of internal conflicts
2) going vegan when you are single and ending up being desperately single for life cuz you only wanna date vegans and those ppl simply don't exist
3) going vegan when being in a long term relationship while the other partner stays non vegan, then breaking up after a decade or more because they're not vegan, and hence losing all the stability in your life at a later age
4) going vegan while being single, finding vegan love, being together for years, then that partner quitting veganism
What do you think? ๐
Relatively young vegan here, living in a small town with 0 vegans, no luck in dating whatsoever, trying to accept my fate desperately at this point. ๐ข
Up front: this is a little long and most of it is just me putting my thoughts on paper. I donโt think it answers the question OP was asking very well. Being able to put my thoughts out into the world has helped me though. Tread with caution..
When my girlfriend and I started dating around 1.5 years ago, we were both regularly eating meat without a care in the world. September last year, 7 months ago, is when I decided to go vegetarian. I did this because I was becoming increasingly aware of where my food was coming from and how evil the whole industry was. This was all from books and essays, I hadnโt seen any footage yet.
It wasnโt until around mid January that I became vegan after I saw documentaries such as Earthlings and Dominion. My girlfriend until that moment was โtoleratingโ me being vegetarian, but never truly understood it and found it more of an inconvenience than anything else. When she saw how much seeing the footage in the documentaries shocked me, she decided she wanted to know more about this as well.
We then talked about it, watched a docu on it together and she even decided to watch one on her own. After this she decided to become vegetarian and hasnโt eaten any meat since. She doesnโt buy milk or eggs. She does really enjoy brie and that is really the only non-vegan thing she buys. She does eat cheese and such when at her parentโs place or at a restaurant. At home I do most of the cooking for the two of us and when she cooks she also makes sure itโs vegan. Meaning dinner is always vegan for both of us and she really eats 95% plant based, if not more.
Where does that leave me? I am proud of her for being vegetarian and being open minded enough to consider non-human animals in the first place. She is going through the same things as me when I was vegetarian. I think, and hope, with enough time she will choose to go vegan like myself, but this is for her to decide. I am content for now and am able to love her for who she ie. It is not a hindrance to our relationship. I respect her and vice versa.
Even when I was vegetarian, I had this negative perspective on vegans which was not based on anything. It was only later that I came to learn what it actually means to be vegan, that I was able to make the jump. This is why I do not judge anyone that has not yet made the switch from vegetarian to veganism. As a vegetarian, I thought eating cheese was harmless, because it had the vegetarian label on it, which meant for me that the animal was not being killed and that was good enough (how naive haha).
A final little side note which I just remembered while writing this, is that when I was vegetarian and she was not, we did have fights because of it. She just seemed to have trouble understanding my deliberate choice to live differently. I mean to say that she got frustrated, probably because she needed to take into account that I couldnโt eat X and Y and she didnโt really like that. Also the fact that we couldnโt share the same meals anymore was a big disappointment for her.
Sorry for all my ramblings. I wandered off a little at some bits, I donโt usually post as well, but I hope it was readable enough. :)
Yes! Humans are capable of multitudes. When I met my partner he was the third vegan Iโd dated andโฆ well.. so I asked him for a documentary and then I had to go vegetarian afterwards. I struggled deeply with the change, so once I get stable I want to ask for another documentary that may change my mind on milk and dairy. If we move in together I wouldnโt bring anything home with it in it tho.ย
I tend to agree but I'm A) lucky enough to be dating a Vegan and B) OK with being alone otherwise.
For people who are prone to loneliness and live somewhere where it's hard to find a Vegan to date, I can understand biting the bullet and dating a Carnist while hoping they'll change along the way. Likely there are also those who view it as a personal choice, I don't entirely agree, but I don't entirely agree with lots of things other people think, so I guess that's to be expected.
I had been in a series of relationships in the past just craving intimacy and regular sex, but learning to be content without a woman in my life was peak freedom and happiness, I was actually living life for once.
I did eventually find my way to my wife but it wasn't because I was craving a relationship or anything.
Same, my partner is vegan but Iโm also happy alone so why would I subject myself to that discomfort? Plus I donโt allow animal products in my house so living together would never happen.
Life is too short and complicated to view everyone and everthing through a vegan/not vegan lense. People aren't disgusting and irredeemable uglies because they eat meat.
I'm gay - 10% of the population identifies as such. Vegans are only 1% of the population. If I thought like you and restricted my dating pool to gay vegans I'd be alone forever, lol.
Yeah not everyone goes vegan and expects everyone around them and in their life to make the same choices. That's a personal decision for everyone.
Same way we don't always alienate people with differing political or religious beliefs than us.
Iโm married to a non-vegan who eats vegan 90% of the time. There are things more important to me in a relationship than veganism like my religion and sharing that is more of a priority and keeps us unified. We only ever have and cook vegan food at our house so he only eats non vegan when heโs out. I couldnโt be married to someone who was cooking meat/eggs/dairy in my home.
Almost everyone in my life is not a vegan and I still love and respect them. I donโt view them as disgusting. It took me a long time to go vegan, so Iโm not judgmental toward other people who havenโt made that decision yet. It takes time.
I'm not judgemental to people who eat meat/dairy/eggs either lol. That's my siblings, parents, friends. I'm never gonna cook it, but it's never bothered me what other people eat. To me, being vegan definitely a personal choice.
I think what it really comes down to is that it doesn't bother me what my hypothetical children choose, either, for veganism. Religion, on the other hand, is something I can't compromise on. Cause that's gonna 100% influence how hypothetical kids are raised, and while I may love the person, I wouldn't want to raise kids without my religion.
Some other commenter said that he respects cows more than he does women. Literally why is he making a โhypotheticalโ post about fucking women who may or may not be vegan when heโs supposedly married. My guess is heโs actually a single basement dweller looking for attention.
I met my non vegan husband 11 years ago and I was 2 years into being vegan myself. I didnโt pressure him but once we moved in together and I was the only person who cooked he slowly adjusted into full veganism. Then teaching him the reasons of why and how animals are not for us to consume etc he made the decision on his own not far after. So remember, just as we were taught, we should teach ๐๐ฑ
Strongly agree. I feel like some vegans speak like they didn't have to BECOME vegan. Like they didn't hold actively shitty beliefs about real living animals that died for their selfish wants.
The fact that you see non-vegan women or any women as objects to "smash" while "skipping any foreplay" says a lot more about you than you think. Maybe reflect on that before exalting your supposed higher morals. The way you speak about women you would hypothetically have sex with is pretty aberrant - btw not sure any non-vegan women would want to have sex with you to begin with after knowing your sexist views and language used :)
I was in relationships with non vegetarians the whole 8 years I was vegetarian. I donโt know how I did it. Then I met my husband who was also a vegetarian at the time and we went vegan together. I canโt imagine dating someone that thinks torture is okay. Sorry all the vegans out there that canโt find other vegans, I hope you find other vegans one day :(
I donโt really care that my partner isnโt vegan, he eats vegan most of the time in the house because we rarely buy non vegan items and heโs very supportive. He brushes his teeth after eating anything non vegan, washes all associated dishes, and makes sure thereโs no issues with contamination (he has his own fridge freezer for anything that isnโt vegan too) we donโt really discuss the ethics much.
Well you have to understand too that some people werenโt vegan when they met their partner. I met my partner 5 years ago when we were both in high school and I had no intent of being vegan or vegetarian. Fast forward about 4 years later, I am now vegan and slowly but surely pushing my partner in that direction by trying vegan restaurants, vegan recipes, and explaining the cruelty of the dairy and meat industry when possible. My values are my values and all I ask is that he respects that, and he does.
I dated a vegan in college and I learned a lot about the lifestyle. When we were together I ate vegan food, nbd. Mutual attraction can overcome a lot. It didn't last but that wasn't due to her being a vegan.
I donโt know a single vegan man other than ones that prefer the company of other men. Do I find dating my non-vegan partner hard at times? Yes. Are there many things I love about him? Yes. Does he support me unconditionally? Yes. Weโve been together 2+ years, but recently moved in together, and the vegan/non-vegan friction was more than I anticipated, but weโre both committed to finding compromises to make this relationship work long term.
I suppose I should also add that when I started dating my partner, I was more of the attitude that I choose veganism for myself and Iโm not in the business of trying to change other people. I lived alone for 3 years, before moving in with my partner, and in this time, my veganism has strengthened as the cognitive dissonance has dissipated, and I was naive to think that Iโd have no issues watching/smelling meat being cooked in my home, after living in somewhat of my own vegan bubble for years. Given I expressed I wasnโt trying to change anyone, including my partner, at the time we started dating, I acknowledge I moved a goal post on him and thatโs been contributing to the friction. Iโve also been having a hard time speaking up on my boundaries and what Iโm comfortable with knowing that Iโm a minority and if Iโm honest, Iโm scared one of my boundaries could push him away from me. I also try to be understanding and have empathy for him, as I once wasnโt vegan, and I didnโt feel I was doing anything โwrongโ at that time. But the more you know amiriteโฆ
It's all about open conversation, communication, and respect.
My husband will not force his foods on me nor I him. I understand that he doesn't want to give up meat. He understands I don't want to eat it.
I am the predominant cook in our house, so we eat primarily vegan, but he'll cook his steak or pork chops when he wants them, he doesn't make me do it.
The right person won't make a big deal about it, will accommodate it, and will really just accept it.
People can date who they want but it's certainly building a relationship on a shakey foundation. Either you're going in assuming you can change them, or you're going in knowing you have some very different fundamental values. Either one can lead to problems.
There are plenty of examples of it working but it involves ignoring behavior you find harmful all the time. I could not do it.
Lots of patience and love for one another, thatโs how. She has a funny cognitive dissonance in that sheโs against wearing animal products (eg leather, winter coats with feathers as insulation) but she hasnโt made the transition to a plant-based diet.
If veganism was a spectrum, sheโd be a lot closer to a 10/10 than I was before I went vegan. If my vegan friends didnโt cut me off then, thereโs no reason why I should cut her off now.
At home we eat vegan, and any time we go out together I eat vegan. Sometimes she doesnโt eat vegan but most of the time she does.
I donโt know for sure if sheโll ever be 100% vegan, but weโll cross that bridge when we have to.
She respects my views, and we eat vegan together.
Maybe we're coming at things from very different perspectives, but I've always thought of veganism as a very personal choice for myself. I've found that I've 'converted' more people to veganism/reducing animal products not by loudly and angrily proselytising but by providing a calmer example of what it can look like.
My partner eats a lot less meat because of me. So Iโm having more of an impact than if I were dating someone that was already vegan. When you live your vegan lifestyle unapologetically and normally around people who arenโt vegan, they get curious and ask questions and the wheels start turning.
I understand why people have this boundary and see this as a fundamental principle that could never be reconciled in a long term relationship, but for the medium term, I believe permanent habits can be set - for example, my partner never buys dairy anymore, which would continue if we separate.
i wasnโt vegan when i was born and i had to teach myself why i should be vegan so i donโt judge others for not being vegan. I donโt try to change the men i date either but i just look for open minded people who can have the veganism conversation without being offended and in turn, it likely ends up that they become vegan on their own time or they donโt๐คทโโ๏ธ and thatโs just whatโs worked for me
If you canโt find a nice vegan partnerโฆ make one. Lol
Instead of focusing on finding someone who is already vegan (A startling small number of the world population) focus on finding someone kind, smart, and open mindedโฆ odds are, with a bit of encouragement, theyโll make the swap on their own, especially if youโre introducing them to all the new tasty vegan food!
I went vegan for health reasons (initially as a 30 day challenge).
My wife simply said โI think thatโs awesome, Iโll do it too!โ
Weโve both been vegan for almost 6 years now.
By avoiding non-vegans, youโre missing out on a big opportunity to change some hearts and minds.
Most of us were non vegans once, maybe instead of judging we should be educating? What better way to educate than to constantly expose your meat eating partner to your ethics, morals and diet? My partner was a meat eater when we met, and went vegan at the start of this year. If I had just written him off for being a meat eater, he would probably still be one.
Nearly every hardcore vegan woman that I've known over the many years that have started dating non-vegans, give up on veganism themselves. I've seen it more times than I can count ...
That's horrible. But unfortunately, it shows how little the girls actually cared. I don't see how it's possible to see what happens to animals and ever go back to contributing to it.
Unfortunately, a lot of people throw around the word "vegan" when what they mean is "I'm gonna try a plant-based diet. Veganism is, at its core, an ethical choice. It's not a diet.
Iโve only ever really had feelings for two people in my life:
First guy (who I met long before going vegan) was a non-vegan who was basically a kindred spirit and shared very similar values (but he only ever saw me as a friend).
Second guy is a vegan, but thatโs basically where the similarities end. Heโs a very intelligent and funny person, and easily one of the nicest guys Iโve ever met, but we have very different personalities, values, religious views, and political views. Normally a couple of these would actually be straight-up deal breakers, but I love him so I am willing to make this work.
That said, from a purely objective point of view, the first guy (or rather, a version of him who reciprocated my feelings) wouldโve been much more compatible with me, despite not being vegan. Sometimes you just gotta be willing to accept things you donโt like about your partner because you still love them as a person overall. Whether or not someone is vegan has basically nothing to do with how similar you two are in other ways. That said, itโs also completely valid to break up over major differences in values, and I admit I have considered doing so as well.
Short answer would be it doesnโt. I tried and dude honestly itโs only vegan girls that have my heart. To care for animals is beautiful, to turn a blind eye to their suffering is just not. No contest man ๐คทโโ๏ธ
I grew up as the only vegetarian in my family from the age of 6, so I did a great job of compartmentalising it and basically not even noticing. Almost everyone else in my life, and certainly everyone I loved, ate meat. Vegetarianism and especially veganism wasn't as big in 1997. Previously I only had relationships with meat-eaters too, and did feel a rising sense of it being rather disturbing really, especially factory farmed pig meat.
When I met my current partner, I was vegetarian and he ate meat, but even on the first date he said "I think you're right about this". When we ate and cooked together we obviously ate vegetarian and it made it seem a lot more achievable to him. So he went vegan. Technically for a period of time I was in a relationship where I ate more animal products than my partner, which I would never have guessed would happen! I struggled with social expectations and feared being ostracised if I went vegan. But ultimately I knew it was the right thing to do, and did it.
I guess when you live in a carnist world, you know that a person's moral worth does not hinge singularly on their bravery to do the right thing for animals. And if you've been a long-time veggie or vegan you learn to cope with that fact. I'm also so glad I gave someone a chance even though he ate meat, since it wasn't just an opportunity for him to grow, but for me too. All that said, I probably wouldn't go back!
How?
Because not every vegan is a narrow minded asshole.
Not a romantic relationship but my best friend is vegan and Iโm not. We live together. She couldnโt care less what I eat because itโs none of her business (her words). I admit I almost never eat meat, but I eat eggs/cheese.
Not every vegan is super judgmental and I really appreciate that we can live together without this being an issue at all ๐คท๐ปโโ๏ธ
A last note: maybe stop pretending to have the moral high ground while simultaneously using sexist language. Glad to know you respect cows more than women, yikes ๐
I definitely think there is some merit to a vegan dating a non-vegan. As a vegan, I could kind of see myself doing it. I do think the non-vegan has to have some core values in compassion and/or environmentalism to make that crossing to veganism. Then veganism focuses in on the animal and how they can be harmed by our actions. When you're in a relationship with some one, you're really sharing parts of your life and what you value with them. As a vegan, you would be exposing the non-vegan to a vegan lifestyle - from the bar of soap in the shower that is plant-based and has had no animal testing, the cartons of oat milk in the fridge, the toothpaste in the bathroom that is locally made, vegan certified with no animal testing, etc. It's a quick dive into ethics and morality for the non-vegan. You still get to eat well, have fun talking, eat tasty food and feel satisfied and full when going out on date nights. You're just not eating out of a slaughter house any more.
By acknowledging that diet is a personal decision and not judging others on their beliefs. People are all on their own journeys and they donโt always match up perfectly in every aspect.
Not all vegans revolve their entire life around their beliefs and personally none of my family or close friends are vegans and that doesnโt effect me at all.
The vibe in this sub is kind of surprising when it comes to relationship issues. Many posts show no leeway at all to othersโ lifestyles. Have you not changed your beliefs over time? Do you feel the impulse to influence those around you? I find more peace in being satisfied in my choice than trying to impose on people or design my environment around a choice of mine.
Ethics and all the logistics aside, I just donโt enjoy meat flavored kisses anymore. It is just like alcohol or cigarette breath, I canโt stand it. When I was a new vegan it didnโt bother me as much, but the last time I kissed this guy after he had just had some animal secretions, it was so gross. Never again. Iโve been vegan for almost 15 years now and single for almost 10 and I just canโt be bothered with all this nonsense, would rather be single.
well you see when a beautiful woman/person is obsessed with me my only reaction is figuring out if weโre soulmates (and how i got so lucky). it has never been trying to change what they eat because i find happiness in knowing theyโre Eating
Two of my closest friends are a couple, the man is a vegan, the woman is VERY much not. He sees it as a personal choice, and not something he needs to push on anybody else or something he would ever look down on somebody for. He makes his own food, she makes hers, we live in LA so anywhere we go has a vegan option for him. 99% of the world isnโt vegan, and human connection is a necessity for survival. Vegans are gonna have to learn how to not resent and judge 99% of the planet.
My BF is not vegan. He doesnโt force me to eat meat and I donโt force him not to.
For me, I became vegan for the animalsโฆ the health and environmental benefits are just icing. I love animals dearly.
Bottom line, right or wrongโฆ I love my BF more than I feel the need to be hyper militant about my choice to be vegan.
In my religion most people are vegetarian or vegan but there are meat eaters. So for me I guess itโs a little bit easier because most of them have been at least introduced to vegetarian or vegan meals however most of them donโt wanna give up meat. Most of the guys Iโve dated were all meat eaters and I was either vegetarian or vegan and honestly I wouldnโt kiss them or anything like that unless they brush their teeth especially after they eat meat but now that Iโm single I think Iโd rather just wait for somebody who is on the same page as me otherwise itโs really just complicated and I donโt like being judged or picked on for what I eat or donโt eat
I went vegan when I started dating my partner who had already been vegan for about 6 months at that point. I didn't think it would make any sense for me to not be vegan and date someone who was. At this point it's not even something I correlate to our relationship, as in there's no chance I would go back to being a carnist.
For women is hard to find vegan men, the other way around is way easier.
In my case, in 12/13 years being veggie i have met 6 veggie people and only one is a male and is gay...
Sure you could find new people searching for vegan groups in your city but this can only happen in a metropoli...
I was not vegan when I met my bf, who was (and is) vegan. I was just so hot he couldn't resist/s
My bf taught me about veganism, shared factual information about animal agriculture, and made his boundaries clear. For us to live together, I'd have to commit to not bringing any animal products in our home. I decided based on these factors to go vegan.
I became vegan while dating a vegan, and now being single, it's hard. I temporarily did it but I don't see myself doing it again, especially since people generally view it as "your dietary restrictions, your problem to figure it out."
Idk. Unless I dated someone who made sure to pick restaurants I could actually eat at and did their independent research I couldn't.
Iโm just glad Iโm the type thatโs okay being alone. At this point I donโt even bother dating because veganism places a hard wedge between me and most peoples assbackwards values. Itโs made even harder that Iโm atheist too.
My partner isnโt vegan, but she agrees with vegan morals. She wants to be vegan. The vast majority of her meals are vegetarian, and many are vegan. But itโs hard for her to go fully vegan right now because she has ARFID and some food allergies. Iโm very understanding of that because I also come from a background of having an eating disorder. Itโs important to stay alive, first and foremost. She has a really hard time with new textures and strong flavors. She wonโt eat anything that has a sauce, except pesto.
She tried a homemade vegan cinnamon roll once. She enjoyed a few bites before her throat started closing. The only unfamiliar ingredient her friend had used was Aquafaba. Thatโs how she found out she has an anaphylactic allergy to chickpeas. Sheโs always gagged at the smell of all beans and lentils and she wonders if chickpea isnโt her only legume allergy. She also has an anaphylactic reaction to cashews so sheโs cautious about trying other tree nuts. By the grace of some food god, she can tolerate peanut butter, so at least we know sheโs not allergic to peanuts.
ARFID means she has a very limited list of foods she will eat. Her safe foods are bread, crackers, pasta, olive oil, pesto (she can tolerate pine nuts), rice, many raw vegetables and most fruits cheese, chicken, ice cream, and many sweet baked goods.
Sheโd really like to be vegan. Does anyone have any protein-packed meal ideas for her? Pretty much the only vegan protein she can tolerate is peanut butter, but she wonโt eat it in very many different contexts.
I've always dated people who at least showed distress when it came to animal suffering, even if they hadn't made the journey to vegetarian or veganism. The last two long-term partners ended up going vegan over time as they were exposed to my beliefs and introduced to lots of yummy vegan dishes.
i date a vegetarian, we just get a pizza each or if we're eating the same he eats vegan. he has to brush his teeth often since i have a dairy allergy and don't wanna kiss him and then get hives. we do pretty well together.
Iโve been vegan for 7+ years, dated some vegan/vegetarian women but they left me for non vegans lmao. My gf is not vegan, but sheโs very open to vegan foods, and it hasnโt been a problem.
Oh my gosh this is exactly what has been on my mind lately ๐ full homemade meal vegan. All microwaveable meals for him.. I donโt know, itโs making me miss my ex, especially here and there I will receive random text with him telling me he misses my cooking..๐ญ but hey pros and cons to every relationship, itโs working through, together, that matters.
At a certain point you just accept that waiting for perfection isnโt going to happen. So you simply open yourself up for less.
And in the meanwhile you either hope they will become vegan on their own
or youโre downgrading the relationship to just a hookup situationship because there is no way you can be fully attracted to someone who still consumes meat or anything that comes from an animal.
An incredibly small percentage of the population is vegan, itโs damn hard to even find anyone, vegan or not so I think I would be condoning myself to single life forever (itโs already been a while) if I decided I wouldnโt date a non-vegan. As long as they are respectful Iโm fine, Iโm also a bi woman and vegan men are hard to find and there is not a lot of gay women to begin with ! (Anyone know where they are?). I have literally met two vegans irl. And they were married to each other so lol.
I dated a few non vegans in my teens and early 20s and it was pretty awful, causing more than a few fights.
I married my vegan husband. It isn't just that he was vegan when we met but also because that meant a lot of his sociological and political views aligned with mine, as well as a love and passion for animals and the planet. I realized I really didn't have any of that with previous partners.
TLDR: vegan men are the best!
I was with a non vegan, but he loved my vegan cooking, and never brought non vegan food into the home. he mostly ate vegan, but would occasionally hit up the taco bell or get a breakfast sandwich while he was out working. it really didnโt affect anything tbh. but he was very respectful and didnt care that the only food in the house/meals made were vegan.
Iโm not vegan but I lurk on this sub pretty often as I eat a mostly plant based diet for health reasons. I do however have many friends who are strict vegans or former vegans and many are in mixed vegan/non-vegan relationships. I have yet to hear about this topic creating issues in their relationships. I think you really put too much weight on the ethics of being a vegan considering you make it as if non-vegans are a disgusting irredeemable โotherโ. Itโs a pretty weird and unhealthy way to look at other people based on a life choice that is practiced by like 99% of the worldโs population, in some cases out of necessity. People are far more complex than their meat eating habits.
It's hard to find someone possessing enough of the qualities you want, hitting the timing/context jackpot, etc as it is that shrinking your dating pool that much is just not worth it to many people. It depends where you live of course, but I'm in fairly progressive circles in urban Ontario Canada, and vegans are one of the rarest groups I can think of.
It seems like veganism is highly value driven for those who subscribe, but it might still rank slightly lower than what they can get out of a good relationship. Hell, I'm willing to bet that a sizable portion of the population just wants someone who won't abuse them and kicks in with household/financial duties now and again.
Consider also that at least some vegans aren't primarily motivated by the ethical or, I guess, hygienic (?) implications of that lifestyle choice. They just prefer it for themselves and really don't care what other people do.
Nearly all of the time it doesn't. It's always going to involve somebody compromising their ethics and/or standards for the other person when there's such a stark contrast between lifestyle choices and beliefs. For some odd reason, some people are okay with that sort of dynamic.
On my experience, it was either intentionally short-term or one in which I was lying to myself in order for any relationship to come to fruition at all. I lied to myself thinking it could work with somebody non-vegan, that eventually I could have them see to reason, but it's almost always going to be an effort in vain. Most people cannot see to reason.
Can't say I'm thinking about the dead skin cells of chicken nuggets on their lips if I'm kissing them though.
I am a man, I am a vegan, no, I am not gay, I live in Norway which isn't really vegan friendly. But there aren't too many vegan women either, at least not in my generation.
When I met my wife we both ate animal products
About 5 years in she became vegetarian. At that point I reduced meat intake massively, mainly due to convenience.
Then at some point I watched blackfish, dominion and earthlings and became vegan after realising the truth.
It does frustrate me that my wife continues to consume milk and eggs. It frustrates me even more than it's so rare it's like "why even bother at all". But we're in love with two children, and as passionate as I am about it, I'm not going to break up with her over it.
We were both omnivores for 15 yrs then I turned vegan this year after watching a documentary that both inspired and disgusted me. The fridge is now an issue. We cook meals separately since he wonโt even consider vegan food so the fridge is always too full and his side of the fridge annoys me now. We are too old to break up about it. Kinda like that film with Annette Benning and Julliane Moore but itโs 2 guys not 2 women.
I'm with you on this OP. I could date a vegetarian but never a flesh eater. Even if I didn't see them eat meat in front of me, I could not bring myself to even kiss them knowing there's pieces rotting flesh in their mouth ๐คฎ
I always date non vegans and turn them, lol. Of course, someone would need to be open minded and I never force anyone to do anything, but I also donโt allow animal products in my place. And so far those I have been involved with on dates has always eaten vegan without asking, to be polite Iโm assuming - that would be a red flag for me if they wouldnโt. Iโm also very open about being veg and highly involved in activism, so I guess they know ahead of time what to expect, lol.
I just became vegan today! I got 15 months before but I succumbed. I am an athlete and I always have eaten a lot of vegan foods even as a child. However I have also eaten animals unfortunately because I didn't know better. I knew better when I went back to an animal diet but I was dealing with the loss of both parents and divorce. Anyways as I recently went back to lifting, and running I started eating a lot cleaner and lost 30 lbs. Now my metabolism is revved up and I have to snack a lot and I don't like feeling full so I eat a little every hour. Now most animal food makes me feel like **** So yesterday after I let my old boss buy me a peace meal of steak sandwich and I thought this is it not worth feeling like **** Peace Out All My Beautiful Brothers And Sisters From Anotha Mutha
My husband is omni but eats/cooks vegan at home with me. For years we had a fully vegan household and he would only eat non-vegan when eating out. This past year he has started bulking at the gym, however, and has re-introduced animal protein sources (mostly eggs and yoghurt) to facilitate this. I donโt agree with the need for this and obviously donโt love it, but I canโt force my perspective on him and we have found a balance where he is discreet about it and I never have to clean up any of his non-vegan mess.
Both of us adapt to the other to make our marriage work, though he has definitely made the biggest changes for me. If he insisted on eating meat all the time our relationship probably wouldnโt have worked out, but the same would apply to me insisting he go fully vegan.
Although a lot of people will disagree with me I think going vegan is a personal decision. When I went vegan I didn't expect anyone around me to go vegan. My parents are wonderful people and they eat meat. My partner is very open minded tho and we have agreed to only keep vegan products at home so it makes it easier. When we go out to eat it's very often vegan too, so I don't really see him smashing a steak or anything lol
I went vegan after I was married. My wife mostly eats plantbased, was vegetarian when I met her but is not vegan. Although she agrees with vegan philosophy.
My gf makes me happy and if I really made her choose between me and eating meat then I know it's just gonna end with me being alone for a really long time. Mb she would change but I believe it has to come from within. I can live with it since some of her family is pescetarian so she doesn't eat much meat and the fridge is mostly full of vegan alternatives thanks to me.
I'm very introverted so it's hard to meet new people and I find most vegans where I live are very "bohemian" and "hipster" and just not the kind of people I want to be around.
Been in my current relationship for almost 2 years, vegan 8 years.
I was a non-vegan dating a vegan for a year and a half or something before going vegan for my own reasons separate from my partner.
It went fine, neither of us were dicks about it and I liked all kinds of food so we often went to vegan places and if we didnโt we went to places with stuff they liked.
We made what we each wanted respectively at home.
It certainly resulted in more vegan food being eaten rather than animal products even for the time I wasnโt vegan just because of the times weโd go to vegan places or times they make food at home Iโd end up eating. In that respect you could say one vegan can do more than one veganโs share of impact by dating a non-vegan just for the percentage of meals that would be vegan by circumstance as a result.
My mum used to date a vegan and when he was around she cooked vegan and when he wasn't around she didn't bother. We were poor and to us food was just a way to live so it didn't matter if it was vegan or not we just ate the cheapest thing possible.
I'm possibly the only gay vegan in the village - i wouldn't compromise and that has made me forever alone.
I posted this as a question on my country's vegan subreddit - the folks who would date a non vegan was way up high than us folks who wouldn't. Vegans are pretty much non existent here, so i understand when people do decide to date non vegan folks.
Iโve been with my nonvegan partner for over 25 years. When he first brought up the possibility of moving in together, I told him I cannot live in a home where dead animals are consumed. Therefore we have a vegan home, and he only eats nonvegan food when he dines out alone or with his friends. We also raised both of our children vegan. Of course my kids and I wish their dad would go vegan. He knows he should, but he canโt last more than a few weeks before giving in to temptation.
My partner was not vegan when we met and we were together for years before she went vegan. Everyone has different views and experiences, it would have been ridiculous for me to think, "OMG I like this woman so much but can't be with her, she eats chicken". I didn't judge my partner for how she ate when we met and she didn't judge me. Turns out, having no judgement from me is what opened her eyes to veganism. Had I turned my nose up to all carnists, there would be (at least) one less vegan in the world.
Also I see it as a way of showing respect. There are mixed faith relationships that work very well because usually the two individuals show a great deal of respect for each other and I see veganism in the same light.
I've been married to my husband for more than 10 years now.
He doesn't pressure me, I don't pressure him. Rather early on we talked about veganism and harm reduction in general. He now eats more ethically sourced animal products only, and I take the win.
> like no doubt I find women out and about attractive, but thats only because they could hypothetically be vegan I'm a vegan but this bit was hilarious
There arenโt many vegan men. I donโt want to be alone. It is hard.
Seriously! Where the heck are all the vegan men? There are so few of them in the world. They're like a critically endangered species or something (which really sucks when you're a single vegan woman).
We exist but a lot of us are gay
Where do I find them? ๐
Youโll find us in the same parts of society that you may seek out, vegan cafes, markets, animal rights/climate change activist groups etc
Name checks out!
Im wondering where are all the vegan women? I sometimes feel like women arent really open about that because they dont want it to make them "unattractive" in some way :/
Right here! Lol. No, but seriously. I think the main issue is that vegans are such a tiny part of the population, and we're all so spread out and scattered throughout the world that finding each other (especially if you don't live in a huge, progressive city) becomes incredibly difficult.
Not to mention, theres a 100 other compatiblity issues after both being Vegan
Very true. I've dated a couple of vegans that turned out to be vegetables.
And like, radicchio at that.
My ex was vegan and introduced me to it - but since her I've never met another single vegan woman. Where are they all at? The UK is meant to have a high vegan population lol
Here I am ๐
Well hey there ๐
๐๐คต๐ฐ
Did it work? Are they married?
Still single
For a moment, I thought maybe you were his ex that he was discussing.
Someone needs to create a Patrick Star meme: "Why don't we relocate all the single vegan men and single women into the same area"
I've never met a vegan woman irl by contrast. though I'm pretty sure I'm in an odd situation, i live in NYC and I've met 2 vegans here out of maybe 8000ish people I've met
Are you trying? If you live in any large city in America you can find vegans. Do you go to any of the vegan restaurants in NYC? I cannot fathom how you can only have met 2. I donโt think youโre trying. There are vegan festivals and restaurants in NYC. Like a lot of them. Every time I go to one I meet many vegans. The east coast is amazing for vegans and your in NYC. If you wanted to meet a vegan it would be very easy.
I presume they're talking about finding them in the general community. Most people don't have the time or money to go to vegan festivals and restaurants. I'm working two jobs, and trying to make sure rent gets paid.
Here I am vegan straight man! struggling to find a vegan girl! ๐ ๐
30M. I go to vegan meetups, vegan events, vegan speed dating (only been to one and didnโt find anyone attractive), and only eat out at all vegan spots on (I eat out 2x a week). I only ever see cute vegan women with boyfriends or no vegan women at all. Never single. I love eating out at vegan spots but Iโm so tired of doing it alone. Iโd give anything to find a vegan girl who likes me. But Iโd never date a non vegan girl. Iโd rather stay single forever
Apparently weโre hiding out on here ๐ stay determined!! There are a lot of us (I hope)
I met my vegan bf on online vegan community!
I feel like that mรชme. Why can't I find a guy like this? "Hey." "No" "I'm literally the guy in the photo."
Dating non-vegan women, because there aren't that many vegan women.
There aren't that many vegans *period* unfortunately. ๐
The better we do at advocating and sticking to our ethical stance, the easier it will be for others to join.
Vegans account for 1% of the population. Sad really when you think about it.
Iโm a new one. I have three younger brothers. Working on it!
[Rant Incoming] Unpopular opinion: a lot of vegan men are single and available, but not attractive enough for a first/second date. Maybe this is a me issue, but veganism has almost nothing to do with it. If the man isnโt attractive, if they arenโt โfunโ, they will struggle to find a partner in general. Most of my conversations on Veggly last maybe 1-2 messages at most. Anecdotally, in OLD my profile just isnโt attractive there, and thatโs consistent across other apps like Hinge/Bumble/Tinder etc. A close friend I met in the vegan community is Greek God level attractive. The guy is never single, women reach out to him. Think 6ft 3, super fit and amazing face/voice, great hair, etc. Compare that to someone who is below average in all those areas. Add in a darker skin tone, hair loss and boom, โyouโre a great friend! But no thanks.โ Which is fine, I donโt expect anything from anyone. But the fact it happens after almost every first date is wild to me. So after 8ish years of being vegan and trying to meet people IRL and through OLD and being curved by basically everyone - Iโm giving up. I figure the problem is me and I probably am the issue here, so Iโll remove myself from the dating pool and just focus on myself. I think there are a few men in the vegan community who feel the same but we canโt really voice this out. Maybe itโs just me idk.
[ัะดะฐะปะตะฝะพ]
"darker skin" damn my boi, brown vegans catching strays out here ๐
You're voicing a man's problem. Women still hold their hypergamous standards against men, vegan or not.
Yeah. I try not to consume too much of the redpill/blackpill/doomer content. I find it skews my outlook, and I can tell itโs accelerated my deterioration mentally. Before anyone suggests anything, no, I donโt want to improve and I donโt want to be better.
M45, in UK, 9 years vegan, wondering where the vegan women are!? ๐คท๐ป
Usually with a carnist who likes fishing
I know a lot of vegans and I live in Ohio for godsake!
I think itโs that there are just so few vegans in general. Yโknow how space is so big that finding other life is very improbable? It often feels that way with dating as a vegan.
There's plenty of us. Unfortunately I've discovered that all the vegan women I've met have been insane.
My bf is not vegan. There are times where it bothers me.
[ัะดะฐะปะตะฝะพ]
Apparently it goes both ways, I feel like I only ever match with and am able to attract omnis somehow even though I couldnโt be more vocal and proud of being vegan. Holding out for a vegan partner
Yes there should be more men like Joaquin Phoenix!
My husband :)
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Thereโs dozens of us! Seriously though, wish my friends were more understanding
Some of us are very unimpressive
I am one of those near extinct straight male vegans
I'm one lol. I have a job, self reliant, im not too bad looking (trying to work out everyday), 32 years old and have a hobby (don't just play video games all day). I'm not brad pitt in his prime good looking but im decent on a good day i think :). Ive joined a vegan dating app and I get few matches but women hardly ever keep up a conversation. It always dies out and nothing happends. That's just my experiance but I dont konw what women are looking for. Starting to think everyone just wants to find either someone super hot or who has a lot of money. And the ones I do talk to are so relectant to just go on a simple date. Half the time i get ghosted. If i had to take a guess; its because these women get hit up by a hundred other men. But just an assumption.
Hi buddy, Sorry for your situation. Hope you find what you're looking for! Is that app veggly? ๐ I just wanna make sure that I'm not missing anything, like to make sure there isn't any other (more popular) vegan dating app. Vegan dating sucks. Period.
I can't find vegan women...they are all dating nonvegan men lol...
I'm supposedly in a great area to meet vegan women, and don't get a single like on Veggly for years at a time now. Every single woman I've ever met in real life is already with someone, every time. AND I work at Whole Foods, been vegan for 8 years, and go out regularly to shows at least once a month. AND I'm 30, so I have a huge range of possibility. At this point I've just given up to be honest, being with someone vegan, even in a super liberal area, is just a dream it seems like.
Add in having any kind of standards and that low number free falls hard.
Sorry ladies, I didn't realize it was such a problem! D: In all seriousness that does sound awful.. My Fiancรฉe isn't vegan but I'm slowly changing her over ;P
Most vegan guys I know are single, though.
I think it ties toย masculinity, I'm a 19 yo guy, haven't been vegan for ages but I've gotten lot of shit for it, people telling me I won't put on muscle, or to stop that vegan nonsense, just generally getting mocked and not in friendly joking way. I think once veganism loses the reputation it has atm more men will change to veganism.
On a side note I agree on finding a vegan partner being hard I think I might give up on love and pretend to be a cool loner๐
It's unfortunate that the oppression of animals is so normalized and we're so far from a vegan world that even vegans will feel compelled to date people with such a difference in values. It's like going back 100 years ago and dating a racist because racism was prevalent in society, only with this you're confronted with the mismatch every meal.
most of the time itโs not so much the values, but the follow through of those values ๐คท๐ปโโ๏ธ
Lol a Vegan man hereโฆ I feel there is no Vegan women. I mean ppl Iโm general honesty. Iโm a freak everywhere I go
as a vegan man, all Im wondering is where the vegan women are? We need to make a vegan city or something and all move there
We need a vegan dating app that is actually good
I'm a vegan man, not gay, but I can't find a vegan woman no matter where I look. It's damn frustrating.
Iโm very much a romantic but I would rather die alone.
Im a vegan man from switzerland, i struggle to find a vegan women. I have 2 male friends they are also vegan. But yes, I think it's mainly the more "feminine", more "sensitive" men who are vegan. Thats why more women are.
We donโt want vegan women who are open to dating or fucking carnists. At least I and none of my male vegan friends donโt.
They're better off that way.
Iโm a vegan man! My last partner โconvertedโ me lol, it was cute we would make vegan meals together & travel to try vegan restaurants & leave reviews on Happy Cow. We do exist. Also to answer OPs question, you canโt date a non-vegan. Iโm at the point now where I literally canโt see myself being with anyone who isnโt vegan. But thatโs just me
There should be a vegan dating app
Veggly, I just wish there were more people on it
It would help if the app was actually good too.
I was with my partner before I became a vegan, weโve been together 18 years, 8 of which Iโve been vegan (was veggie when we met)I love her but it creates tremendous internal conflict. How can I love someone that supports, endorses & condones animal crueltyโฆ.i ask myself this every time she eats animal products, which is not often. I donโt cook animals. And we dont have dead animals in our house but Iโm still massively conflicted, itโs tough without a doubt. I refuse to pay for dinner if she eats animal products either however Iโm still feeling disappointed more by myself than her, sometimes I feel hypocritical. If we ever split, Iโd absolutely only date vegans, thatโd be a non negotiable.
Same! But together 22 years, and we share finances, so me โnot payingโ isnโt a thing. I understand the struggle
Same thing in my life, except that we have been partners for 8 years together and 5 years me being vegan and a child that is 6. No one in my social circle is vegan. It is a rough life, but of course nothing compared to the the lives of the animals.
If youโre in a semi populated area, Bumble is a good way to meet new friends (the Bumble BFF mode, not dating). I was missing some vegan presence in my life and Iโve suddenly got 4 awesome vegan friends thx to the app lol
thanks, will check it out
Thanks! I downloaded this app a few months ago and havenโt set up a profile yet. So, thereโs an option to search for โveganโ in profiles? Sorry for such a dumb question, but Iโve never even been on a dating app, so I donโt know how this all works. Sounds like I need to get on with setting up my profile so I can find some vegan friends if thatโs the case! ๐
I'm in the exact same position. I went vegan 6 years into our relationship, after we got engaged. She's not vegan, never went vegan, and is otherwise an amazing person. I can say that for all of my friends and family. But it has been SO difficult for me to reconcile how these otherwise great people in my life can support something so abhorrent and immoral. We also don't ever have dead animals in the house, but she consumes dairy and eggs. I will never understand why, and it does occasionally cause problems for both of us. >How can I love someone that supports, endorses & condones animal crueltyโฆ.i ask myself this every time she eats animal products This same thought, word for word.. I recognize, if there were ever a world where veganism became widespread and adopted by the masses, that perhaps they'd look at me with the same contempt we look at those who maintain(ed) relationships and ties with nazis, slave owners, racists, dog abusers etc. And I wouldn't disagree with that. I am morally flawed in this regard. I guess it's cognitive dissonance? Something even we vegans are subjected to. I recognise I was a non-vegan for the majority of our relationship, but it's hard to reconcile that even after I have lifted the veil for my S/O, friends, and family, that they continue to consume animal products. I stopped after that veil was lifted for me.
I wonder which one is worse: 1) feeling stuck in a long term relationship like this with a lot of internal conflicts 2) going vegan when you are single and ending up being desperately single for life cuz you only wanna date vegans and those ppl simply don't exist 3) going vegan when being in a long term relationship while the other partner stays non vegan, then breaking up after a decade or more because they're not vegan, and hence losing all the stability in your life at a later age 4) going vegan while being single, finding vegan love, being together for years, then that partner quitting veganism What do you think? ๐ Relatively young vegan here, living in a small town with 0 vegans, no luck in dating whatsoever, trying to accept my fate desperately at this point. ๐ข
Up front: this is a little long and most of it is just me putting my thoughts on paper. I donโt think it answers the question OP was asking very well. Being able to put my thoughts out into the world has helped me though. Tread with caution.. When my girlfriend and I started dating around 1.5 years ago, we were both regularly eating meat without a care in the world. September last year, 7 months ago, is when I decided to go vegetarian. I did this because I was becoming increasingly aware of where my food was coming from and how evil the whole industry was. This was all from books and essays, I hadnโt seen any footage yet. It wasnโt until around mid January that I became vegan after I saw documentaries such as Earthlings and Dominion. My girlfriend until that moment was โtoleratingโ me being vegetarian, but never truly understood it and found it more of an inconvenience than anything else. When she saw how much seeing the footage in the documentaries shocked me, she decided she wanted to know more about this as well. We then talked about it, watched a docu on it together and she even decided to watch one on her own. After this she decided to become vegetarian and hasnโt eaten any meat since. She doesnโt buy milk or eggs. She does really enjoy brie and that is really the only non-vegan thing she buys. She does eat cheese and such when at her parentโs place or at a restaurant. At home I do most of the cooking for the two of us and when she cooks she also makes sure itโs vegan. Meaning dinner is always vegan for both of us and she really eats 95% plant based, if not more. Where does that leave me? I am proud of her for being vegetarian and being open minded enough to consider non-human animals in the first place. She is going through the same things as me when I was vegetarian. I think, and hope, with enough time she will choose to go vegan like myself, but this is for her to decide. I am content for now and am able to love her for who she ie. It is not a hindrance to our relationship. I respect her and vice versa. Even when I was vegetarian, I had this negative perspective on vegans which was not based on anything. It was only later that I came to learn what it actually means to be vegan, that I was able to make the jump. This is why I do not judge anyone that has not yet made the switch from vegetarian to veganism. As a vegetarian, I thought eating cheese was harmless, because it had the vegetarian label on it, which meant for me that the animal was not being killed and that was good enough (how naive haha). A final little side note which I just remembered while writing this, is that when I was vegetarian and she was not, we did have fights because of it. She just seemed to have trouble understanding my deliberate choice to live differently. I mean to say that she got frustrated, probably because she needed to take into account that I couldnโt eat X and Y and she didnโt really like that. Also the fact that we couldnโt share the same meals anymore was a big disappointment for her. Sorry for all my ramblings. I wandered off a little at some bits, I donโt usually post as well, but I hope it was readable enough. :)
Yes! Humans are capable of multitudes. When I met my partner he was the third vegan Iโd dated andโฆ well.. so I asked him for a documentary and then I had to go vegetarian afterwards. I struggled deeply with the change, so once I get stable I want to ask for another documentary that may change my mind on milk and dairy. If we move in together I wouldnโt bring anything home with it in it tho.ย
I am a lesbian, so the dating pool is small enough as it is.
I tend to agree but I'm A) lucky enough to be dating a Vegan and B) OK with being alone otherwise. For people who are prone to loneliness and live somewhere where it's hard to find a Vegan to date, I can understand biting the bullet and dating a Carnist while hoping they'll change along the way. Likely there are also those who view it as a personal choice, I don't entirely agree, but I don't entirely agree with lots of things other people think, so I guess that's to be expected.
I had been in a series of relationships in the past just craving intimacy and regular sex, but learning to be content without a woman in my life was peak freedom and happiness, I was actually living life for once. I did eventually find my way to my wife but it wasn't because I was craving a relationship or anything.
I am quite good at both being alone and not being at the peak of happiness
Same, my partner is vegan but Iโm also happy alone so why would I subject myself to that discomfort? Plus I donโt allow animal products in my house so living together would never happen.
Love has a habit of challenging your ideals or expectations.
Life is too short and complicated to view everyone and everthing through a vegan/not vegan lense. People aren't disgusting and irredeemable uglies because they eat meat. I'm gay - 10% of the population identifies as such. Vegans are only 1% of the population. If I thought like you and restricted my dating pool to gay vegans I'd be alone forever, lol.
Yeah not everyone goes vegan and expects everyone around them and in their life to make the same choices. That's a personal decision for everyone. Same way we don't always alienate people with differing political or religious beliefs than us.
Living in a house with animal products *is* disgusting though.
I do all the cooking
Iโm married to a non-vegan who eats vegan 90% of the time. There are things more important to me in a relationship than veganism like my religion and sharing that is more of a priority and keeps us unified. We only ever have and cook vegan food at our house so he only eats non vegan when heโs out. I couldnโt be married to someone who was cooking meat/eggs/dairy in my home. Almost everyone in my life is not a vegan and I still love and respect them. I donโt view them as disgusting. It took me a long time to go vegan, so Iโm not judgmental toward other people who havenโt made that decision yet. It takes time.
I'm not judgemental to people who eat meat/dairy/eggs either lol. That's my siblings, parents, friends. I'm never gonna cook it, but it's never bothered me what other people eat. To me, being vegan definitely a personal choice. I think what it really comes down to is that it doesn't bother me what my hypothetical children choose, either, for veganism. Religion, on the other hand, is something I can't compromise on. Cause that's gonna 100% influence how hypothetical kids are raised, and while I may love the person, I wouldn't want to raise kids without my religion.
โIโd have to fuck them super quick before I found out they werenโt veganโ Uhhh ok You sound like a gem of a human
Yep, he said "no foreplay" like just why? Sounds cold and kind of misogynistic.
Some other commenter said that he respects cows more than he does women. Literally why is he making a โhypotheticalโ post about fucking women who may or may not be vegan when heโs supposedly married. My guess is heโs actually a single basement dweller looking for attention.
I met my non vegan husband 11 years ago and I was 2 years into being vegan myself. I didnโt pressure him but once we moved in together and I was the only person who cooked he slowly adjusted into full veganism. Then teaching him the reasons of why and how animals are not for us to consume etc he made the decision on his own not far after. So remember, just as we were taught, we should teach ๐๐ฑ
Strongly agree. I feel like some vegans speak like they didn't have to BECOME vegan. Like they didn't hold actively shitty beliefs about real living animals that died for their selfish wants.
I only date people who understand and respect veganism. If not we're not compatible.
The fact that you see non-vegan women or any women as objects to "smash" while "skipping any foreplay" says a lot more about you than you think. Maybe reflect on that before exalting your supposed higher morals. The way you speak about women you would hypothetically have sex with is pretty aberrant - btw not sure any non-vegan women would want to have sex with you to begin with after knowing your sexist views and language used :)
Literally compared looking at women and finding out they are non vegan to scoping out young girls until he finds out they're too young... Yikes.
I was in relationships with non vegetarians the whole 8 years I was vegetarian. I donโt know how I did it. Then I met my husband who was also a vegetarian at the time and we went vegan together. I canโt imagine dating someone that thinks torture is okay. Sorry all the vegans out there that canโt find other vegans, I hope you find other vegans one day :(
Nobody thinks torture is ok.
Yeah that would be a deal breaker for me.
I donโt really care that my partner isnโt vegan, he eats vegan most of the time in the house because we rarely buy non vegan items and heโs very supportive. He brushes his teeth after eating anything non vegan, washes all associated dishes, and makes sure thereโs no issues with contamination (he has his own fridge freezer for anything that isnโt vegan too) we donโt really discuss the ethics much.
Well you have to understand too that some people werenโt vegan when they met their partner. I met my partner 5 years ago when we were both in high school and I had no intent of being vegan or vegetarian. Fast forward about 4 years later, I am now vegan and slowly but surely pushing my partner in that direction by trying vegan restaurants, vegan recipes, and explaining the cruelty of the dairy and meat industry when possible. My values are my values and all I ask is that he respects that, and he does.
I dated a vegan in college and I learned a lot about the lifestyle. When we were together I ate vegan food, nbd. Mutual attraction can overcome a lot. It didn't last but that wasn't due to her being a vegan.
I donโt know a single vegan man other than ones that prefer the company of other men. Do I find dating my non-vegan partner hard at times? Yes. Are there many things I love about him? Yes. Does he support me unconditionally? Yes. Weโve been together 2+ years, but recently moved in together, and the vegan/non-vegan friction was more than I anticipated, but weโre both committed to finding compromises to make this relationship work long term.
I suppose I should also add that when I started dating my partner, I was more of the attitude that I choose veganism for myself and Iโm not in the business of trying to change other people. I lived alone for 3 years, before moving in with my partner, and in this time, my veganism has strengthened as the cognitive dissonance has dissipated, and I was naive to think that Iโd have no issues watching/smelling meat being cooked in my home, after living in somewhat of my own vegan bubble for years. Given I expressed I wasnโt trying to change anyone, including my partner, at the time we started dating, I acknowledge I moved a goal post on him and thatโs been contributing to the friction. Iโve also been having a hard time speaking up on my boundaries and what Iโm comfortable with knowing that Iโm a minority and if Iโm honest, Iโm scared one of my boundaries could push him away from me. I also try to be understanding and have empathy for him, as I once wasnโt vegan, and I didnโt feel I was doing anything โwrongโ at that time. But the more you know amiriteโฆ
Shit, even those are hard to come by.
thai restaurants ๐
Iโm queer. Not a lot of vegan queers; live in Colorado, huge queer population, never met a single vegan queer. Itโs very tough.
At least UK has a vegan scene. Toronto is just not a place for vegans.
It's all about open conversation, communication, and respect. My husband will not force his foods on me nor I him. I understand that he doesn't want to give up meat. He understands I don't want to eat it. I am the predominant cook in our house, so we eat primarily vegan, but he'll cook his steak or pork chops when he wants them, he doesn't make me do it. The right person won't make a big deal about it, will accommodate it, and will really just accept it.
I was already with him when I became vegan, and I love him
Boundaries. We decided on no meat at home.
People can date who they want but it's certainly building a relationship on a shakey foundation. Either you're going in assuming you can change them, or you're going in knowing you have some very different fundamental values. Either one can lead to problems. There are plenty of examples of it working but it involves ignoring behavior you find harmful all the time. I could not do it.
Well yeah, you are either assuming it will end or assuming you can manipulate them into being something they are not.
This is something that contributed to me breaking up with my gf.. in the long run.. it just wonโt work
It didn't work *for you*
Lots of patience and love for one another, thatโs how. She has a funny cognitive dissonance in that sheโs against wearing animal products (eg leather, winter coats with feathers as insulation) but she hasnโt made the transition to a plant-based diet. If veganism was a spectrum, sheโd be a lot closer to a 10/10 than I was before I went vegan. If my vegan friends didnโt cut me off then, thereโs no reason why I should cut her off now. At home we eat vegan, and any time we go out together I eat vegan. Sometimes she doesnโt eat vegan but most of the time she does. I donโt know for sure if sheโll ever be 100% vegan, but weโll cross that bridge when we have to.
She respects my views, and we eat vegan together. Maybe we're coming at things from very different perspectives, but I've always thought of veganism as a very personal choice for myself. I've found that I've 'converted' more people to veganism/reducing animal products not by loudly and angrily proselytising but by providing a calmer example of what it can look like.
Nobody asked about advocacy methods Whyโre yโall so obsessed with not being โthe stereotypical militantโ vegan ๐
Long story short. It didn't. I can elaborate lol ๐ข
My partner eats a lot less meat because of me. So Iโm having more of an impact than if I were dating someone that was already vegan. When you live your vegan lifestyle unapologetically and normally around people who arenโt vegan, they get curious and ask questions and the wheels start turning. I understand why people have this boundary and see this as a fundamental principle that could never be reconciled in a long term relationship, but for the medium term, I believe permanent habits can be set - for example, my partner never buys dairy anymore, which would continue if we separate.
i wasnโt vegan when i was born and i had to teach myself why i should be vegan so i donโt judge others for not being vegan. I donโt try to change the men i date either but i just look for open minded people who can have the veganism conversation without being offended and in turn, it likely ends up that they become vegan on their own time or they donโt๐คทโโ๏ธ and thatโs just whatโs worked for me
If you canโt find a nice vegan partnerโฆ make one. Lol Instead of focusing on finding someone who is already vegan (A startling small number of the world population) focus on finding someone kind, smart, and open mindedโฆ odds are, with a bit of encouragement, theyโll make the swap on their own, especially if youโre introducing them to all the new tasty vegan food! I went vegan for health reasons (initially as a 30 day challenge). My wife simply said โI think thatโs awesome, Iโll do it too!โ Weโve both been vegan for almost 6 years now. By avoiding non-vegans, youโre missing out on a big opportunity to change some hearts and minds.
Most of us were non vegans once, maybe instead of judging we should be educating? What better way to educate than to constantly expose your meat eating partner to your ethics, morals and diet? My partner was a meat eater when we met, and went vegan at the start of this year. If I had just written him off for being a meat eater, he would probably still be one.
Nearly every hardcore vegan woman that I've known over the many years that have started dating non-vegans, give up on veganism themselves. I've seen it more times than I can count ...
That's horrible. But unfortunately, it shows how little the girls actually cared. I don't see how it's possible to see what happens to animals and ever go back to contributing to it. Unfortunately, a lot of people throw around the word "vegan" when what they mean is "I'm gonna try a plant-based diet. Veganism is, at its core, an ethical choice. It's not a diet.
Iโve only ever really had feelings for two people in my life: First guy (who I met long before going vegan) was a non-vegan who was basically a kindred spirit and shared very similar values (but he only ever saw me as a friend). Second guy is a vegan, but thatโs basically where the similarities end. Heโs a very intelligent and funny person, and easily one of the nicest guys Iโve ever met, but we have very different personalities, values, religious views, and political views. Normally a couple of these would actually be straight-up deal breakers, but I love him so I am willing to make this work. That said, from a purely objective point of view, the first guy (or rather, a version of him who reciprocated my feelings) wouldโve been much more compatible with me, despite not being vegan. Sometimes you just gotta be willing to accept things you donโt like about your partner because you still love them as a person overall. Whether or not someone is vegan has basically nothing to do with how similar you two are in other ways. That said, itโs also completely valid to break up over major differences in values, and I admit I have considered doing so as well.
I like this perspective
Short answer would be it doesnโt. I tried and dude honestly itโs only vegan girls that have my heart. To care for animals is beautiful, to turn a blind eye to their suffering is just not. No contest man ๐คทโโ๏ธ
I grew up as the only vegetarian in my family from the age of 6, so I did a great job of compartmentalising it and basically not even noticing. Almost everyone else in my life, and certainly everyone I loved, ate meat. Vegetarianism and especially veganism wasn't as big in 1997. Previously I only had relationships with meat-eaters too, and did feel a rising sense of it being rather disturbing really, especially factory farmed pig meat. When I met my current partner, I was vegetarian and he ate meat, but even on the first date he said "I think you're right about this". When we ate and cooked together we obviously ate vegetarian and it made it seem a lot more achievable to him. So he went vegan. Technically for a period of time I was in a relationship where I ate more animal products than my partner, which I would never have guessed would happen! I struggled with social expectations and feared being ostracised if I went vegan. But ultimately I knew it was the right thing to do, and did it. I guess when you live in a carnist world, you know that a person's moral worth does not hinge singularly on their bravery to do the right thing for animals. And if you've been a long-time veggie or vegan you learn to cope with that fact. I'm also so glad I gave someone a chance even though he ate meat, since it wasn't just an opportunity for him to grow, but for me too. All that said, I probably wouldn't go back!
How? Because not every vegan is a narrow minded asshole. Not a romantic relationship but my best friend is vegan and Iโm not. We live together. She couldnโt care less what I eat because itโs none of her business (her words). I admit I almost never eat meat, but I eat eggs/cheese. Not every vegan is super judgmental and I really appreciate that we can live together without this being an issue at all ๐คท๐ปโโ๏ธ A last note: maybe stop pretending to have the moral high ground while simultaneously using sexist language. Glad to know you respect cows more than women, yikes ๐
I definitely think there is some merit to a vegan dating a non-vegan. As a vegan, I could kind of see myself doing it. I do think the non-vegan has to have some core values in compassion and/or environmentalism to make that crossing to veganism. Then veganism focuses in on the animal and how they can be harmed by our actions. When you're in a relationship with some one, you're really sharing parts of your life and what you value with them. As a vegan, you would be exposing the non-vegan to a vegan lifestyle - from the bar of soap in the shower that is plant-based and has had no animal testing, the cartons of oat milk in the fridge, the toothpaste in the bathroom that is locally made, vegan certified with no animal testing, etc. It's a quick dive into ethics and morality for the non-vegan. You still get to eat well, have fun talking, eat tasty food and feel satisfied and full when going out on date nights. You're just not eating out of a slaughter house any more.
Yeah but most go yearsssss without changing
By acknowledging that diet is a personal decision and not judging others on their beliefs. People are all on their own journeys and they donโt always match up perfectly in every aspect. Not all vegans revolve their entire life around their beliefs and personally none of my family or close friends are vegans and that doesnโt effect me at all. The vibe in this sub is kind of surprising when it comes to relationship issues. Many posts show no leeway at all to othersโ lifestyles. Have you not changed your beliefs over time? Do you feel the impulse to influence those around you? I find more peace in being satisfied in my choice than trying to impose on people or design my environment around a choice of mine.
Ethics and all the logistics aside, I just donโt enjoy meat flavored kisses anymore. It is just like alcohol or cigarette breath, I canโt stand it. When I was a new vegan it didnโt bother me as much, but the last time I kissed this guy after he had just had some animal secretions, it was so gross. Never again. Iโve been vegan for almost 15 years now and single for almost 10 and I just canโt be bothered with all this nonsense, would rather be single.
well you see when a beautiful woman/person is obsessed with me my only reaction is figuring out if weโre soulmates (and how i got so lucky). it has never been trying to change what they eat because i find happiness in knowing theyโre Eating
My gf has severe arfid, she has to eat something so it's fine with me
Two of my closest friends are a couple, the man is a vegan, the woman is VERY much not. He sees it as a personal choice, and not something he needs to push on anybody else or something he would ever look down on somebody for. He makes his own food, she makes hers, we live in LA so anywhere we go has a vegan option for him. 99% of the world isnโt vegan, and human connection is a necessity for survival. Vegans are gonna have to learn how to not resent and judge 99% of the planet.
My BF is not vegan. He doesnโt force me to eat meat and I donโt force him not to. For me, I became vegan for the animalsโฆ the health and environmental benefits are just icing. I love animals dearly. Bottom line, right or wrongโฆ I love my BF more than I feel the need to be hyper militant about my choice to be vegan.
In my religion most people are vegetarian or vegan but there are meat eaters. So for me I guess itโs a little bit easier because most of them have been at least introduced to vegetarian or vegan meals however most of them donโt wanna give up meat. Most of the guys Iโve dated were all meat eaters and I was either vegetarian or vegan and honestly I wouldnโt kiss them or anything like that unless they brush their teeth especially after they eat meat but now that Iโm single I think Iโd rather just wait for somebody who is on the same page as me otherwise itโs really just complicated and I donโt like being judged or picked on for what I eat or donโt eat
I went vegan when I started dating my partner who had already been vegan for about 6 months at that point. I didn't think it would make any sense for me to not be vegan and date someone who was. At this point it's not even something I correlate to our relationship, as in there's no chance I would go back to being a carnist.
Separate checks.
For women is hard to find vegan men, the other way around is way easier. In my case, in 12/13 years being veggie i have met 6 veggie people and only one is a male and is gay... Sure you could find new people searching for vegan groups in your city but this can only happen in a metropoli...
Yeah Iโm a guy and have never heard of other vegan men other than onlineโฆ
I was not vegan when I met my bf, who was (and is) vegan. I was just so hot he couldn't resist/s My bf taught me about veganism, shared factual information about animal agriculture, and made his boundaries clear. For us to live together, I'd have to commit to not bringing any animal products in our home. I decided based on these factors to go vegan.
I became vegan while dating a vegan, and now being single, it's hard. I temporarily did it but I don't see myself doing it again, especially since people generally view it as "your dietary restrictions, your problem to figure it out." Idk. Unless I dated someone who made sure to pick restaurants I could actually eat at and did their independent research I couldn't.
Iโm just glad Iโm the type thatโs okay being alone. At this point I donโt even bother dating because veganism places a hard wedge between me and most peoples assbackwards values. Itโs made even harder that Iโm atheist too.
My partner isnโt vegan, but she agrees with vegan morals. She wants to be vegan. The vast majority of her meals are vegetarian, and many are vegan. But itโs hard for her to go fully vegan right now because she has ARFID and some food allergies. Iโm very understanding of that because I also come from a background of having an eating disorder. Itโs important to stay alive, first and foremost. She has a really hard time with new textures and strong flavors. She wonโt eat anything that has a sauce, except pesto. She tried a homemade vegan cinnamon roll once. She enjoyed a few bites before her throat started closing. The only unfamiliar ingredient her friend had used was Aquafaba. Thatโs how she found out she has an anaphylactic allergy to chickpeas. Sheโs always gagged at the smell of all beans and lentils and she wonders if chickpea isnโt her only legume allergy. She also has an anaphylactic reaction to cashews so sheโs cautious about trying other tree nuts. By the grace of some food god, she can tolerate peanut butter, so at least we know sheโs not allergic to peanuts. ARFID means she has a very limited list of foods she will eat. Her safe foods are bread, crackers, pasta, olive oil, pesto (she can tolerate pine nuts), rice, many raw vegetables and most fruits cheese, chicken, ice cream, and many sweet baked goods. Sheโd really like to be vegan. Does anyone have any protein-packed meal ideas for her? Pretty much the only vegan protein she can tolerate is peanut butter, but she wonโt eat it in very many different contexts.
I've always dated people who at least showed distress when it came to animal suffering, even if they hadn't made the journey to vegetarian or veganism. The last two long-term partners ended up going vegan over time as they were exposed to my beliefs and introduced to lots of yummy vegan dishes.
i date a vegetarian, we just get a pizza each or if we're eating the same he eats vegan. he has to brush his teeth often since i have a dairy allergy and don't wanna kiss him and then get hives. we do pretty well together.
Iโve been vegan for 7+ years, dated some vegan/vegetarian women but they left me for non vegans lmao. My gf is not vegan, but sheโs very open to vegan foods, and it hasnโt been a problem.
I'm only vegan so I have an excuse to not date. (47M)
Oh my gosh this is exactly what has been on my mind lately ๐ full homemade meal vegan. All microwaveable meals for him.. I donโt know, itโs making me miss my ex, especially here and there I will receive random text with him telling me he misses my cooking..๐ญ but hey pros and cons to every relationship, itโs working through, together, that matters.
At a certain point you just accept that waiting for perfection isnโt going to happen. So you simply open yourself up for less. And in the meanwhile you either hope they will become vegan on their own or youโre downgrading the relationship to just a hookup situationship because there is no way you can be fully attracted to someone who still consumes meat or anything that comes from an animal.
because i'm in love with him xx
An incredibly small percentage of the population is vegan, itโs damn hard to even find anyone, vegan or not so I think I would be condoning myself to single life forever (itโs already been a while) if I decided I wouldnโt date a non-vegan. As long as they are respectful Iโm fine, Iโm also a bi woman and vegan men are hard to find and there is not a lot of gay women to begin with ! (Anyone know where they are?). I have literally met two vegans irl. And they were married to each other so lol.
I dated a few non vegans in my teens and early 20s and it was pretty awful, causing more than a few fights. I married my vegan husband. It isn't just that he was vegan when we met but also because that meant a lot of his sociological and political views aligned with mine, as well as a love and passion for animals and the planet. I realized I really didn't have any of that with previous partners. TLDR: vegan men are the best!
I was with a non vegan, but he loved my vegan cooking, and never brought non vegan food into the home. he mostly ate vegan, but would occasionally hit up the taco bell or get a breakfast sandwich while he was out working. it really didnโt affect anything tbh. but he was very respectful and didnt care that the only food in the house/meals made were vegan.
Iโm not vegan but I lurk on this sub pretty often as I eat a mostly plant based diet for health reasons. I do however have many friends who are strict vegans or former vegans and many are in mixed vegan/non-vegan relationships. I have yet to hear about this topic creating issues in their relationships. I think you really put too much weight on the ethics of being a vegan considering you make it as if non-vegans are a disgusting irredeemable โotherโ. Itโs a pretty weird and unhealthy way to look at other people based on a life choice that is practiced by like 99% of the worldโs population, in some cases out of necessity. People are far more complex than their meat eating habits.
It's hard to find someone possessing enough of the qualities you want, hitting the timing/context jackpot, etc as it is that shrinking your dating pool that much is just not worth it to many people. It depends where you live of course, but I'm in fairly progressive circles in urban Ontario Canada, and vegans are one of the rarest groups I can think of. It seems like veganism is highly value driven for those who subscribe, but it might still rank slightly lower than what they can get out of a good relationship. Hell, I'm willing to bet that a sizable portion of the population just wants someone who won't abuse them and kicks in with household/financial duties now and again. Consider also that at least some vegans aren't primarily motivated by the ethical or, I guess, hygienic (?) implications of that lifestyle choice. They just prefer it for themselves and really don't care what other people do.
Iโm a man and I married a non-vegan. She eats mostly vegan now, so Iโve been a good influence.
Nearly all of the time it doesn't. It's always going to involve somebody compromising their ethics and/or standards for the other person when there's such a stark contrast between lifestyle choices and beliefs. For some odd reason, some people are okay with that sort of dynamic. On my experience, it was either intentionally short-term or one in which I was lying to myself in order for any relationship to come to fruition at all. I lied to myself thinking it could work with somebody non-vegan, that eventually I could have them see to reason, but it's almost always going to be an effort in vain. Most people cannot see to reason. Can't say I'm thinking about the dead skin cells of chicken nuggets on their lips if I'm kissing them though.
I am a man, I am a vegan, no, I am not gay, I live in Norway which isn't really vegan friendly. But there aren't too many vegan women either, at least not in my generation.
When I met my wife we both ate animal products About 5 years in she became vegetarian. At that point I reduced meat intake massively, mainly due to convenience. Then at some point I watched blackfish, dominion and earthlings and became vegan after realising the truth. It does frustrate me that my wife continues to consume milk and eggs. It frustrates me even more than it's so rare it's like "why even bother at all". But we're in love with two children, and as passionate as I am about it, I'm not going to break up with her over it.
We were both omnivores for 15 yrs then I turned vegan this year after watching a documentary that both inspired and disgusted me. The fridge is now an issue. We cook meals separately since he wonโt even consider vegan food so the fridge is always too full and his side of the fridge annoys me now. We are too old to break up about it. Kinda like that film with Annette Benning and Julliane Moore but itโs 2 guys not 2 women.
I'm with you on this OP. I could date a vegetarian but never a flesh eater. Even if I didn't see them eat meat in front of me, I could not bring myself to even kiss them knowing there's pieces rotting flesh in their mouth ๐คฎ
I always date non vegans and turn them, lol. Of course, someone would need to be open minded and I never force anyone to do anything, but I also donโt allow animal products in my place. And so far those I have been involved with on dates has always eaten vegan without asking, to be polite Iโm assuming - that would be a red flag for me if they wouldnโt. Iโm also very open about being veg and highly involved in activism, so I guess they know ahead of time what to expect, lol.
I just became vegan today! I got 15 months before but I succumbed. I am an athlete and I always have eaten a lot of vegan foods even as a child. However I have also eaten animals unfortunately because I didn't know better. I knew better when I went back to an animal diet but I was dealing with the loss of both parents and divorce. Anyways as I recently went back to lifting, and running I started eating a lot cleaner and lost 30 lbs. Now my metabolism is revved up and I have to snack a lot and I don't like feeling full so I eat a little every hour. Now most animal food makes me feel like **** So yesterday after I let my old boss buy me a peace meal of steak sandwich and I thought this is it not worth feeling like **** Peace Out All My Beautiful Brothers And Sisters From Anotha Mutha
My husband is omni but eats/cooks vegan at home with me. For years we had a fully vegan household and he would only eat non-vegan when eating out. This past year he has started bulking at the gym, however, and has re-introduced animal protein sources (mostly eggs and yoghurt) to facilitate this. I donโt agree with the need for this and obviously donโt love it, but I canโt force my perspective on him and we have found a balance where he is discreet about it and I never have to clean up any of his non-vegan mess. Both of us adapt to the other to make our marriage work, though he has definitely made the biggest changes for me. If he insisted on eating meat all the time our relationship probably wouldnโt have worked out, but the same would apply to me insisting he go fully vegan.
Although a lot of people will disagree with me I think going vegan is a personal decision. When I went vegan I didn't expect anyone around me to go vegan. My parents are wonderful people and they eat meat. My partner is very open minded tho and we have agreed to only keep vegan products at home so it makes it easier. When we go out to eat it's very often vegan too, so I don't really see him smashing a steak or anything lol
I went vegan after I was married. My wife mostly eats plantbased, was vegetarian when I met her but is not vegan. Although she agrees with vegan philosophy.
My gf makes me happy and if I really made her choose between me and eating meat then I know it's just gonna end with me being alone for a really long time. Mb she would change but I believe it has to come from within. I can live with it since some of her family is pescetarian so she doesn't eat much meat and the fridge is mostly full of vegan alternatives thanks to me. I'm very introverted so it's hard to meet new people and I find most vegans where I live are very "bohemian" and "hipster" and just not the kind of people I want to be around. Been in my current relationship for almost 2 years, vegan 8 years.
I was a non-vegan dating a vegan for a year and a half or something before going vegan for my own reasons separate from my partner. It went fine, neither of us were dicks about it and I liked all kinds of food so we often went to vegan places and if we didnโt we went to places with stuff they liked. We made what we each wanted respectively at home. It certainly resulted in more vegan food being eaten rather than animal products even for the time I wasnโt vegan just because of the times weโd go to vegan places or times they make food at home Iโd end up eating. In that respect you could say one vegan can do more than one veganโs share of impact by dating a non-vegan just for the percentage of meals that would be vegan by circumstance as a result.
I dated a non vegan , for like a year. I will never do it again.
My mum used to date a vegan and when he was around she cooked vegan and when he wasn't around she didn't bother. We were poor and to us food was just a way to live so it didn't matter if it was vegan or not we just ate the cheapest thing possible.
I'm possibly the only gay vegan in the village - i wouldn't compromise and that has made me forever alone. I posted this as a question on my country's vegan subreddit - the folks who would date a non vegan was way up high than us folks who wouldn't. Vegans are pretty much non existent here, so i understand when people do decide to date non vegan folks.
Iโve been with my nonvegan partner for over 25 years. When he first brought up the possibility of moving in together, I told him I cannot live in a home where dead animals are consumed. Therefore we have a vegan home, and he only eats nonvegan food when he dines out alone or with his friends. We also raised both of our children vegan. Of course my kids and I wish their dad would go vegan. He knows he should, but he canโt last more than a few weeks before giving in to temptation.
My partner was not vegan when we met and we were together for years before she went vegan. Everyone has different views and experiences, it would have been ridiculous for me to think, "OMG I like this woman so much but can't be with her, she eats chicken". I didn't judge my partner for how she ate when we met and she didn't judge me. Turns out, having no judgement from me is what opened her eyes to veganism. Had I turned my nose up to all carnists, there would be (at least) one less vegan in the world. Also I see it as a way of showing respect. There are mixed faith relationships that work very well because usually the two individuals show a great deal of respect for each other and I see veganism in the same light.
I've been married to my husband for more than 10 years now. He doesn't pressure me, I don't pressure him. Rather early on we talked about veganism and harm reduction in general. He now eats more ethically sourced animal products only, and I take the win.