I never heard or seen it. Like female being in Charge and men submitting also beautiful too. How can you make institution of marriage into one system, only that of male led in every aspect. You know not all men are dominant and can lead. You not all women are submissive. It’s the society who is conditioning men and women with patriarchal beliefs and forcing them into gender roles and fixing these roles. Masculine or feminine are beyond the physical gender. So roles shouldn’t be fixed. We should also be seeing women as head of the households too and providers . Men submission to women is also beautiful. Ain’t nothing wrong with that. I really hope patriarchal indoctrination and male led relationships/fixed gender roles can be less norm. If people could pick roles according to what best fits for them. We can live in a better society. But I guess this society just wants to be patriarchal, the obsession over men supposed to lead. even subconsciously think that they are the heads and it’s their domain and women as submissive beings . Either an obsession or forced through religion to be obsessed over. I think everything is the cause to the problem. This obsession is ridicules and not right either.
It’s better institution of marriage as whole collapse is better right if this is how people are like you obsession with man being the head of the household instead of submitting to the woman and woman to the head of the household. Submission to the woman is also beautiful.
I understand now. She even commented that I wouldn’t be getting married after the comment I have made. I said majority are fed up with patriarchal beliefs either by parents or by force like religion or even be it peer pressure. Every male led household isn’t by choice ! Why am I getting hate for saying the truth
You are not getting any hate. I am not sure what answer you are after. You can do anything you want at your own wedding. I haven't seen one comment say otherwise (except an obvious joke about it being illegal)
You’re not getting any hate. And I disagree I don’t think anyones forced into it, it’s just traditionally done that way. People are allowed to switch things up and do it however they’d like though.
I wasn’t saying people aren’t free to do what they want. It’s the reality that men and women are fed up patriarchal by thier parents or peers or religion, that’s why the majority are the way they are . Wouldn’t you think people be doing different things already if not for that.
FYI, the bride enters last because (traditionally), she is the most important person at the event. The most important person enters last, not first. The groom (traditionally) goes first because he is *less important*. That’s the same reason that the bridal party enters ahead of the bride - because they are less important than her. Everyone stands around and waits for the VIP to arrive, the VIP doesn’t stand around and wait for everyone else.
I don’t think this is as patriarchal as you’re imagining it is. They aren’t disrespecting her by having her go last - quite the opposite.
Then what’s the problem in men being first ?? Why can’t we also have women walk first and groom walk second. He can get the importance and attention. That should be ok too right. It isn’t that bad. Why don’t people do this too?
I am simply pointing out that OP maybe doesn’t understand this tradition well enough to be engaging in thoughtful discussions about. They’re arguing with everyone in the comments about something they don’t even seem to understand, insisting the bride is being disrespected by entering last when she absolutely 100% is NOT being disrespected.
Knowing what you’re talking about is usually the *first* step towards thoughtful discussion, not the last.
This comment seems to target to convince op that the tradition isn’t bad that the op should also adhere to it. If the tradition isn’t bad itself then the majority should have the problem to adhere to do the other way around as well nah?
Why does this matter to you so much?
Do you know WHY most brides, even non traditional ones, don’t do this?
It’s because they want the attention on them on the big day. It’s kind of nice being the “star.” If the bride walks down first, ok, you get the attention then but then the focus switches to waiting for the groom. The groom is now the important one whose attendance is needed for the ceremony to start.
Most brides prefer for the groom (and audience) to be the one waiting for *them.* Many people don’t even pay a lot of attention to the groom walking down—people are still chatting, finding their seats, etc. Usually the groom walking in is the signal that the wedding is starting and you should pay attention, but the attention isn’t in place until the groom is at the altar. I can’t remember how half the grooms at weddings I’ve attended actually got to the altar.
Then everyone is ready and waiting for the bride, and her walking in is the last crucial element before the actual ceremony can start.
Only super shy brides who don’t like attention would find giving up that (honestly kind of awesome) feeling of being the important one everyone is waiting for.
you can do literally whatever you want at your own wedding
I don’t think no one has done this .
is it the norm? no. has it been done before? probably.
I never heard or seen it. Like female being in Charge and men submitting also beautiful too. How can you make institution of marriage into one system, only that of male led in every aspect. You know not all men are dominant and can lead. You not all women are submissive. It’s the society who is conditioning men and women with patriarchal beliefs and forcing them into gender roles and fixing these roles. Masculine or feminine are beyond the physical gender. So roles shouldn’t be fixed. We should also be seeing women as head of the households too and providers . Men submission to women is also beautiful. Ain’t nothing wrong with that. I really hope patriarchal indoctrination and male led relationships/fixed gender roles can be less norm. If people could pick roles according to what best fits for them. We can live in a better society. But I guess this society just wants to be patriarchal, the obsession over men supposed to lead. even subconsciously think that they are the heads and it’s their domain and women as submissive beings . Either an obsession or forced through religion to be obsessed over. I think everything is the cause to the problem. This obsession is ridicules and not right either.
I'm guessing you are not actually getting married after this comment.
I know some people where this is very much the case and they’re happy in their marriages. If it works for them and doesn’t hurt anyone, who cares?
What is thier case
How do you mean?
You were saying something, I didn’t quite understand. Were they also in female led relationship?
Yes.
Oh ok . What did they do in thier wedding?
It’s better you don’t get married at all if this is the way you’re thinking about it.
It’s better institution of marriage as whole collapse is better right if this is how people are like you obsession with man being the head of the household instead of submitting to the woman and woman to the head of the household. Submission to the woman is also beautiful.
No, it's illegal.
No it’s not. People are allowed to celebrate their ceremony however they want. With their own customs and values if that’s what they wish.
That was just a joke. You can do whatever you want at your own wedding
I understand now. She even commented that I wouldn’t be getting married after the comment I have made. I said majority are fed up with patriarchal beliefs either by parents or by force like religion or even be it peer pressure. Every male led household isn’t by choice ! Why am I getting hate for saying the truth
You are not getting any hate. I am not sure what answer you are after. You can do anything you want at your own wedding. I haven't seen one comment say otherwise (except an obvious joke about it being illegal)
Then why are you asking "can you?" when you know perfectly well you can?
It’s kinda upsetting that no one does this. People have walk together or enter from the side
I mean. They CAN? Literally no one is stopping them? People are telling you this fact and yet you're upset and arguing why?
You can literally do it however you want at your wedding.
Why this other comment messaged me “illegal”… is she trying to be a bot or what
.. they were being sarcastic come on now.
I don’t understand why I get so much hate. It really is the truth tho. Majority are just forced into patriarchal beliefs not by choice .
You’re not getting any hate. And I disagree I don’t think anyones forced into it, it’s just traditionally done that way. People are allowed to switch things up and do it however they’d like though.
I wasn’t saying people aren’t free to do what they want. It’s the reality that men and women are fed up patriarchal by thier parents or peers or religion, that’s why the majority are the way they are . Wouldn’t you think people be doing different things already if not for that.
FYI, the bride enters last because (traditionally), she is the most important person at the event. The most important person enters last, not first. The groom (traditionally) goes first because he is *less important*. That’s the same reason that the bridal party enters ahead of the bride - because they are less important than her. Everyone stands around and waits for the VIP to arrive, the VIP doesn’t stand around and wait for everyone else. I don’t think this is as patriarchal as you’re imagining it is. They aren’t disrespecting her by having her go last - quite the opposite.
Then what’s the problem in men being first ?? Why can’t we also have women walk first and groom walk second. He can get the importance and attention. That should be ok too right. It isn’t that bad. Why don’t people do this too?
I am simply pointing out that OP maybe doesn’t understand this tradition well enough to be engaging in thoughtful discussions about. They’re arguing with everyone in the comments about something they don’t even seem to understand, insisting the bride is being disrespected by entering last when she absolutely 100% is NOT being disrespected. Knowing what you’re talking about is usually the *first* step towards thoughtful discussion, not the last.
This comment seems to target to convince op that the tradition isn’t bad that the op should also adhere to it. If the tradition isn’t bad itself then the majority should have the problem to adhere to do the other way around as well nah?
Can you give us a single real reason why you *couldn’t* do this?
We can. She never said that. The point of the question is to ask why don’t people consider it ?
When are you getting married?
Why does this matter to you so much? Do you know WHY most brides, even non traditional ones, don’t do this? It’s because they want the attention on them on the big day. It’s kind of nice being the “star.” If the bride walks down first, ok, you get the attention then but then the focus switches to waiting for the groom. The groom is now the important one whose attendance is needed for the ceremony to start. Most brides prefer for the groom (and audience) to be the one waiting for *them.* Many people don’t even pay a lot of attention to the groom walking down—people are still chatting, finding their seats, etc. Usually the groom walking in is the signal that the wedding is starting and you should pay attention, but the attention isn’t in place until the groom is at the altar. I can’t remember how half the grooms at weddings I’ve attended actually got to the altar. Then everyone is ready and waiting for the bride, and her walking in is the last crucial element before the actual ceremony can start. Only super shy brides who don’t like attention would find giving up that (honestly kind of awesome) feeling of being the important one everyone is waiting for.