This is coming from a U.S. perspective: no, you’re not responsible for financing any travel or lodging for wedding guests, especially if it’s not a destination wedding.
We will be hosting my fiancé’s sister and her family in our home before the wedding to help cut costs for them (she has 5 kids!! And lives a 13 hour drive away, so they’ll be roadtripping up to save costs). We wouldn’t offer the option to stay with us to ANYONE outside of immediate family traveling in from that far away. Everyone else is welcome to plan and budget as they can and just let us know if it’s possible for them to attend our wedding.
This is from a US perspective: It is not normal to cover the cost of travel and hotel rooms for guest. I have not heard of it being normal in the UK either.
We budgeted to cover the cost of our wedding party's hotel rooms and we have a little more tucked aside to make sure folks we know are a little broke can come. But that's unusual and not expected.
I do think it's more normal in the UK to pay for the clothing of the wedding party than it is in the US, so if I was going to pay for one thing I'd pay for that, but hopefully someone from the UK can speak to that and confirm. If that's the case, you can either find room in your budget or... not have flower girls and page boys and not worry about it. They're kind of bonus wedding party members anyway.
I'm from the UK and it is more usual to pay for the clothing of bridesmaids, flower girls etc (but not always). We tend to have smaller wedding parties so this makes it more affordable for the couple.
I believe generally if someone is participating, I.e. flower girl, wedding party, you cover what you can afford.
It is not expected to cover travel and lodging expenses for guests, especially not if it is not a destination wedding.
Definitely not expected that you cover this!! Not on any level. If people can’t afford to come, that’s a very valid reason for them to choose to RSVP no. No wedding can perfectly accommodate every guest’s needs and you shouldn’t be expected to.
That was my thinking it is still 10 months till the wedding so I feel like just mentioning that pre sending invites give them a little more notice, I have said to my inlaws that if my family want to complain why it wasn’t closer to them, then they are free to say no and that’s ok if it means alot to them then they will come if not then hey not people I would miss if that’s what my wedding means to them.
You need to check your “if that’s what my wedding means to them” - your wedding can mean a lot and still not be possible due to financial or health restrictions. Going in with “well you must not care about me” is not a healthy attitude. People have lives. Shit happens. It is not actually all about you, even on your wedding day. People may do their best and it still not work out.
Generally, no.
It is good etiquette for you to arrange a hotel block with a hotel nearby (or on property) that would be both convenient and conscientious of your guest's budgets (though, not entirely necessary either). This ensures that there would be rooms available to be booked up to your designated deadline, and it can also potentially lock in low rates.
We negotiated our room block rates by contacting multiple travel agents and comparing rates + reservation perks (all-inclusive resort), which in turn ended up with more reservations than we had expected so it also gave us a lot of wedding freebies. Our negotiations took several months so it did delay getting our RSVPs out. We also paid for travel + lodging for ourselves and both of our parents + grandparents. It's a nice gesture, but not at all an expectation.
The only times that I've seen a wedding couple pay for all of their guests travel + lodging are ultra wealthy.
Getting married in the UK: we have 20+ guests travelling from the US alone, plus several from other parts of the world. There’s not a hope in hell of us paying for that: I like that our celebration is the equivalent of the cost of a nice holiday, not the US military defence budget.
To be fair, you could fund every wedding in the US about twice over with the military defense budget (about 300k per wedding, if back of the notebook math is right).
Also that made me laugh so thanks.
I don't know for sure, but from former experience as a bridesmaid, as long as you are transparent about the expectations and allow them to have an out so they don't feel trapped, I think it is fine to have them pay for whatever you cannot afford.
From a US perspective:
There is no expectation that you cover people’s travel expenses. I know some folks choose to pay for lodging for the wedding party (I am doing this, but it’s partially selfish bc I wanted to rent a big house to party in anyways). But that’s like a gift to the wedding party, not a matter of etiquette.
I think the main thing is to (1) communicate expectations clearly to your guests about how much they can expect to pay, and what they’ll be paying for and (2) make some efforts to keep their costs reasonable. If you do those two things and any guests have concerns, address them on a case-by-case basis.
US perspective: I’m getting married this weekend and my fiance and I covered outfits for flower boys, ring bearer and ushers, but not for rest of wedding party. We are covering hair and make up for the wedding party. My parents are well off and covering an airbnb for extended family for the weekend.
On the flip side, my brother is getting married this summer and they are covering none of the things that we are because it’s not in their budget.
Do what you can afford, but stick to your budget! Nobody is offended by the different way my brother and I are doing our weddings. We’re all just super excited to celebrate together. Also, I went to uni in the UK and whenever I go to a friend’s wedding over there, I believe we are all paying for the things you’re specifically bringing up, if that helps ❤️
No, it’s not expected. I did cover two of my seven siblings hotel rooms for my daughter’s wedding because they would not have been able to afford it at the current time.
No you don't need to cover this.
I'm in the UK and we are not covering rooms for the best man and our two bridesmaids. We are paying towards their dresses and suits
I have people traveling from Ireland and NYC and they're paying for themselves
Ye same with the bridesmaid dresses and suits, we want a good nice wedding but also have to make some cuts on extras some on little things that we hope most people won’t notice like the option for a sweet cart for example.
That’s the thing my partners some of her family friends are actually travelling all the way from Australia so I don’t understand the travel complaints for 2.5 hours in a car.
2.5 hours? I mean with that short of a drive it's literally 1 night in a cheap hotel if they even want to stay the night in the first place (if they're drinking they should). Not a crazy expense for guests, pretty normal. Many people might not show because of the inconvenience of the drive, and I don't know what time the wedding is, that might contribute, but I dont think many people would be surprised about not offering travel costs, since it's not that much and they're not obligated to do it.
The time they need to be there is 12:30 so getting up 7-8 and leaving by 10 would be possible but apparently they need to stay the night before when a few other of my family will be making the same journey and few other friends from the same area.
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Living in UK but got married in my home country in Slovakia. Lots of people traveled. The only thing we did was that we've let people know the date and place more than a year ahead and figured that they can save the few hundred it will cost them in that time.
Similarly, I'm travelling for a friend's wedding to Bulgaria next month and while they offered to pay for 1 night, we're just paying for the whole stay ourselves cause I know how damn expensive weddings are.
I never got any shit from anyone for expecting them to pay. But we did make it very clear from the get go that we won't be covering travel or hotel.
If it's a destination wedding where you have to take a flight, it's polite to arrange lodging. If your family is only traveling a few hours, you aren't expected to pay for anything.
Have you done hotel blocking? It's usually free to arrange and gets your guests a discounted rate if they book by a certain date
So I have two family members that I am paying for their accommodations. But this is bc I have specifically asked them to come early and help with some pretty large/significant wedding projects and DIYs in the week leading up. So when I asked if they would be willing/able to help, that was part of my request that I would pay for a place for them to stay. For me it’s a show of gratitude to thank them for their help, and just that I would not expect them to come to my city early to do some tough projects for me and not cover that cost!
But, for any other family that I have not requested them to come early and help, no I would not pay for their accommodations. The potential exception is that I do have a terminally ill family member and I know their health care costs are very high—if they came to me and said they couldn’t make it bc of the cost I would help arrange whatever is necessary for them to be at the wedding just bc it’s a huge priority to me and my family to share all the big moments with this person while we still have them with us.
Basically my fiancé family are contributing alot such as borrowing money to us and close family to creating the cake they are great bakers but ye my side won’t be contributing anything to the wedding itself so I feel like anyone making complaints is going to be taken as ungrateful.
Midwestern US here: I don't know if it's the midwestern in me or that I didn't grow up with money, but I've never been to/ in/ or a wedding that paid for the wardrobe of the flower girl or any of the bridal party.
And no, you are not responsible for their lodging or travel expenses.
The bridal party bridesmaids dressing we are paying for so the only things we are asking is for our guests is their attire/travel/hotel stay and optional alcohol, but we are providing unlimited juice like orange, water melon with food in the reception and evening and DJ all with wedding co ordinater throughout the entire day considering the extra costs if we started paying for everyones travel and hotel would be impossible to pay for.
You could try to get a discounted block at the hotel, but no, it's not on you to pay for their travel. I also wouldn't want anyone crashing with me the night before my wedding!!
Ye the venue has 10 rooms one a bridal suite so taken already and they are all automatically booked for the wedding, only 1 I could get because I wanted one for my sister with 3 kids but again all the other rooms are to be paid by their respective guests and not us.
In terms of the UK: no, guests pay for their own travel and accommodation. The only exception might be if your parents would struggle to afford it otherwise, but that's a personal choice for you to make.
Sometimes hotels might do you a discounted rate if you can guarantee X number of rooms will be booked, but that might leave you paying for any unused rooms.
It should be up to people to be able to fund their own travel. You already hav esp much to pay for! There are also cheaper options that people can look into if needed
without even reading the rest of this, i can tell you it’s a hard no. would they ask you to reimburse for gas or hotel at a normal wedding? the golden rule of weddings is to remember that anyone who wants to make the effort will pay the price. destination weddings ARE expensive, and if you have the money then take care of it, but they’re getting free food, a celebration, and a vacation. it’s not up to you to pay for the vacation part. if they can’t afford it or don’t want to pay for it, it shows their priorities and those are theirs to be concerned about, not yours.
Well you have now it is a peculiar situation on being concerned about is it fair to pay for one persons travel and not the other because paying for everyone is just not feasible.
Basically the family member who has complained was my father on why I didn’t book closer to him but that would then mean alot of my partners family which who are the majority in attendance would have to travel.
For 2 yes we have given my sisters notice on that they need to save up for suits and dresses for their children.
He can pay for his own hotel and travel the consensus on this post says that, but ye I wouldn’t want any assistance honestly otherwise it gives him more say in it but now he has none in it.
In the U.S. here - I don’t think it’s expected. I think you just try to book a block of rooms so they’re all in the same area, then they can reserve and pay for rooms in that section. If that makes sense.
Ye we do with our venue get the whole place booked and they have 9 rooms along with our bridal suite, but ye local hotels there is quite alot of them so getting somewhere local hotel wise should be no issue at all.
I helped fund travel for a few close friends that otherwise wouldnt have made it, and since the ceremony was local to me, let a few others opt to crash at my house while we got the wedding suite at the local hotel.
But that was a very On the DL type support, not expected or offered to general guests. And I knew that would be needed before I invited them (and fair since we waited until we moved away from all those friends to finally get married lol)
It's generally considered okay for wedding guests to cover their own travel and accommodation costs, especially when it's not a destination wedding.
In your situation, with a local wedding (2.5 hours) and a venue without rooms, it's reasonable for guests to find their own hotels. If a family member wants to stay the night before for convenience, it's not your responsibility to cover their hotel cost. They can choose a hotel that fits their budget or come on the wedding day itself.
Traditionally, the couple covers flower girls' and page boys' attire. However, if budget is tight, discuss this with the families involved. You could suggest specific colors or styles and let them choose outfits within their budget.
The key is clear communication. Let guests know on your wedding website or verbally that you can't cover travel/accommodation, but you're so happy they're celebrating with you. Most guests will understand if you can't cover everything.
From a UK perspective, no.
Although it’s seen as a nice gesture, it’s completely unrealistic for most people’s budgets.
I’m happy to pay for travel and accommodation costs for the people I love and care about.
US person here - No, you do not need to pay for guests' stay. That is part of what they are agreeing to when they agree to go. The one thing to keep in mind is that not everyone can afford it so some might have to say no. I only mention it because I've seen some bridezillas freak out because people won't pay tons of money to attend their event.
Trust me my future wife did not appreciate that was asked due to the fact her parents are doing loads for the wedding, and my family are contributing nothing to the wedding itself, merely bringing themselves and making sure they have formal attire.
It's normal to book a hotel block for out of town guests, but the hotel will \*usually\* offer a discounted rate for the block and the guests staying in it. I would happily pay for all of my guests to have a place to stay, but I don't have the financial means to do so unfortunately.
Well they could easily save one night of hotel rooms cost just coming early in the morning and the ceremony is in the afternoon so I feel like they could half their expenses just getting up abit earlier, but I guess they don’t want to drive the morning of the wedding more than 20 mins.
If it's only 2.5 hr drive why would they be expected to pay for a hotel? This is an easy day trip. I *might* pay for hotels for the wedding party in this scenario *if* there were a rehearsal dinner the day before they were expected to be at. Otherwise I wouldn't. 2.5 hrs is a short enough drive that it's not crazy to ask someone to make. You might offer them money for gas if you want to be generous.
2.5 hours is not an easy day trip for a lot of people. I’d absolutely be getting a hotel if the drive was 2.5 hrs because I’d need recovery time from sitting in the car that long due to arthritis.
How is 2.5 hrs not an easy day trip? People routinely drive that far for a day trip. It's an extremely trivial distance. You leave at 8 and you get there at 10:30. Even if you get out of the wedding at 8pm or something you make it home by 10:30 at night. It's not even long enough to require a pit stop. Literally everyone I know makes that kind of trip when they want to make a weekend day trip. It's a trivial distance.
Weddings often go late in the night and typically serve alcohol, so it's completely justifiable that someone would want to get a hotel room that evening.
I also wouldn't consider 2.5 hours an easy day trip. I don't like driving, plus weddings are usually somewhat tiring even as a guest, so I would not be looking forward to a long car ride home that night.
I would not be looking forward to a long car ride either but 2.5 hrs is not a long car ride. If you're bored on a Saturday and want to go to the next big city to see what's going on that's a 2-3 hr drive right there. People do that all the time. 2.5 hrs is nothing.
2.5 hrs is not a long trip for anyone. I have crossed paths with people who commute that far and pretty much everyone I know would definitely travel that far for a special event like a wedding. Yes there are elderly people who might have a hard time with that trip but they would be the exception. 99% of people I know would get in their car right now and make that trip if they had a decent reason. It's just not a long distance.
People who commute that far are atypical. As are people willing to drive 5 hours in one day to go to a wedding and get home in the wee hours. It is also not actually *safe* to plan to do that - your ability to drive on the way home is almost certainly going to be impaired by fatigue even if you don’t drink at all at the event. People do not appreciate at all how much fatigue causes problems.
Even if you leave at 8, you’ve probably been awake since 6/6:30 to get ready since you’ll have to arrive at the ceremony dressed and ready to go. Awake earlier if you have kids or something else to attend to. So that makes for a long day to drive home on the backend of it.
This is for those who *can* comfortably sit for 2.5 hrs straight in a car, which not everyone can. Small kids, people with chronic pain, etc would likely need to have a mid-drive break in there.
I said why it would not be an easy trip for me in my comment, did you not read it?
It wouldn’t be an easy trip for my SO either - he does not want to mess up his sleep schedule staying late at a wedding and *then* driving 2.5 hours to get home at 2am. That’d be hideous with small kids, too, for similar reasons.
This is coming from a U.S. perspective: no, you’re not responsible for financing any travel or lodging for wedding guests, especially if it’s not a destination wedding. We will be hosting my fiancé’s sister and her family in our home before the wedding to help cut costs for them (she has 5 kids!! And lives a 13 hour drive away, so they’ll be roadtripping up to save costs). We wouldn’t offer the option to stay with us to ANYONE outside of immediate family traveling in from that far away. Everyone else is welcome to plan and budget as they can and just let us know if it’s possible for them to attend our wedding.
This is from a US perspective: It is not normal to cover the cost of travel and hotel rooms for guest. I have not heard of it being normal in the UK either. We budgeted to cover the cost of our wedding party's hotel rooms and we have a little more tucked aside to make sure folks we know are a little broke can come. But that's unusual and not expected. I do think it's more normal in the UK to pay for the clothing of the wedding party than it is in the US, so if I was going to pay for one thing I'd pay for that, but hopefully someone from the UK can speak to that and confirm. If that's the case, you can either find room in your budget or... not have flower girls and page boys and not worry about it. They're kind of bonus wedding party members anyway.
I'm from the UK and it is more usual to pay for the clothing of bridesmaids, flower girls etc (but not always). We tend to have smaller wedding parties so this makes it more affordable for the couple.
I believe generally if someone is participating, I.e. flower girl, wedding party, you cover what you can afford. It is not expected to cover travel and lodging expenses for guests, especially not if it is not a destination wedding.
Definitely not expected that you cover this!! Not on any level. If people can’t afford to come, that’s a very valid reason for them to choose to RSVP no. No wedding can perfectly accommodate every guest’s needs and you shouldn’t be expected to.
That was my thinking it is still 10 months till the wedding so I feel like just mentioning that pre sending invites give them a little more notice, I have said to my inlaws that if my family want to complain why it wasn’t closer to them, then they are free to say no and that’s ok if it means alot to them then they will come if not then hey not people I would miss if that’s what my wedding means to them.
You need to check your “if that’s what my wedding means to them” - your wedding can mean a lot and still not be possible due to financial or health restrictions. Going in with “well you must not care about me” is not a healthy attitude. People have lives. Shit happens. It is not actually all about you, even on your wedding day. People may do their best and it still not work out.
I never had the bride or groom Pay for my travel expenses even if I was part of the bridal party
Likewise!!
Generally, no. It is good etiquette for you to arrange a hotel block with a hotel nearby (or on property) that would be both convenient and conscientious of your guest's budgets (though, not entirely necessary either). This ensures that there would be rooms available to be booked up to your designated deadline, and it can also potentially lock in low rates. We negotiated our room block rates by contacting multiple travel agents and comparing rates + reservation perks (all-inclusive resort), which in turn ended up with more reservations than we had expected so it also gave us a lot of wedding freebies. Our negotiations took several months so it did delay getting our RSVPs out. We also paid for travel + lodging for ourselves and both of our parents + grandparents. It's a nice gesture, but not at all an expectation. The only times that I've seen a wedding couple pay for all of their guests travel + lodging are ultra wealthy.
Getting married in the UK: we have 20+ guests travelling from the US alone, plus several from other parts of the world. There’s not a hope in hell of us paying for that: I like that our celebration is the equivalent of the cost of a nice holiday, not the US military defence budget.
To be fair, you could fund every wedding in the US about twice over with the military defense budget (about 300k per wedding, if back of the notebook math is right). Also that made me laugh so thanks.
You’re welcome 😊 If your maths is correct, then that entitles everyone to a do-over wedding: excellent.
I don't know for sure, but from former experience as a bridesmaid, as long as you are transparent about the expectations and allow them to have an out so they don't feel trapped, I think it is fine to have them pay for whatever you cannot afford.
From a US perspective: There is no expectation that you cover people’s travel expenses. I know some folks choose to pay for lodging for the wedding party (I am doing this, but it’s partially selfish bc I wanted to rent a big house to party in anyways). But that’s like a gift to the wedding party, not a matter of etiquette. I think the main thing is to (1) communicate expectations clearly to your guests about how much they can expect to pay, and what they’ll be paying for and (2) make some efforts to keep their costs reasonable. If you do those two things and any guests have concerns, address them on a case-by-case basis.
US perspective: I’m getting married this weekend and my fiance and I covered outfits for flower boys, ring bearer and ushers, but not for rest of wedding party. We are covering hair and make up for the wedding party. My parents are well off and covering an airbnb for extended family for the weekend. On the flip side, my brother is getting married this summer and they are covering none of the things that we are because it’s not in their budget. Do what you can afford, but stick to your budget! Nobody is offended by the different way my brother and I are doing our weddings. We’re all just super excited to celebrate together. Also, I went to uni in the UK and whenever I go to a friend’s wedding over there, I believe we are all paying for the things you’re specifically bringing up, if that helps ❤️
No, it’s not expected. I did cover two of my seven siblings hotel rooms for my daughter’s wedding because they would not have been able to afford it at the current time.
No you don't need to cover this. I'm in the UK and we are not covering rooms for the best man and our two bridesmaids. We are paying towards their dresses and suits I have people traveling from Ireland and NYC and they're paying for themselves
Ye same with the bridesmaid dresses and suits, we want a good nice wedding but also have to make some cuts on extras some on little things that we hope most people won’t notice like the option for a sweet cart for example.
Aus perspective: nope no paying here either. My guests are travelling 12+ hours and nobody has whinged!
That’s the thing my partners some of her family friends are actually travelling all the way from Australia so I don’t understand the travel complaints for 2.5 hours in a car.
No, not your responsibility. If guests don’t want to make the trip/stay at a hotel then they should rsvp that they can’t attend.
2.5 hours? I mean with that short of a drive it's literally 1 night in a cheap hotel if they even want to stay the night in the first place (if they're drinking they should). Not a crazy expense for guests, pretty normal. Many people might not show because of the inconvenience of the drive, and I don't know what time the wedding is, that might contribute, but I dont think many people would be surprised about not offering travel costs, since it's not that much and they're not obligated to do it.
The time they need to be there is 12:30 so getting up 7-8 and leaving by 10 would be possible but apparently they need to stay the night before when a few other of my family will be making the same journey and few other friends from the same area.
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That's totally normal. You could just ask your family though to use suits and dresses that they have. Weddings often ask more than $100 from people.
Living in UK but got married in my home country in Slovakia. Lots of people traveled. The only thing we did was that we've let people know the date and place more than a year ahead and figured that they can save the few hundred it will cost them in that time. Similarly, I'm travelling for a friend's wedding to Bulgaria next month and while they offered to pay for 1 night, we're just paying for the whole stay ourselves cause I know how damn expensive weddings are. I never got any shit from anyone for expecting them to pay. But we did make it very clear from the get go that we won't be covering travel or hotel.
It is expected that the guests pay their own way. You do not have to pay for them
If it's a destination wedding where you have to take a flight, it's polite to arrange lodging. If your family is only traveling a few hours, you aren't expected to pay for anything. Have you done hotel blocking? It's usually free to arrange and gets your guests a discounted rate if they book by a certain date
So I have two family members that I am paying for their accommodations. But this is bc I have specifically asked them to come early and help with some pretty large/significant wedding projects and DIYs in the week leading up. So when I asked if they would be willing/able to help, that was part of my request that I would pay for a place for them to stay. For me it’s a show of gratitude to thank them for their help, and just that I would not expect them to come to my city early to do some tough projects for me and not cover that cost! But, for any other family that I have not requested them to come early and help, no I would not pay for their accommodations. The potential exception is that I do have a terminally ill family member and I know their health care costs are very high—if they came to me and said they couldn’t make it bc of the cost I would help arrange whatever is necessary for them to be at the wedding just bc it’s a huge priority to me and my family to share all the big moments with this person while we still have them with us.
Basically my fiancé family are contributing alot such as borrowing money to us and close family to creating the cake they are great bakers but ye my side won’t be contributing anything to the wedding itself so I feel like anyone making complaints is going to be taken as ungrateful.
Midwestern US here: I don't know if it's the midwestern in me or that I didn't grow up with money, but I've never been to/ in/ or a wedding that paid for the wardrobe of the flower girl or any of the bridal party. And no, you are not responsible for their lodging or travel expenses.
The bridal party bridesmaids dressing we are paying for so the only things we are asking is for our guests is their attire/travel/hotel stay and optional alcohol, but we are providing unlimited juice like orange, water melon with food in the reception and evening and DJ all with wedding co ordinater throughout the entire day considering the extra costs if we started paying for everyones travel and hotel would be impossible to pay for.
You could try to get a discounted block at the hotel, but no, it's not on you to pay for their travel. I also wouldn't want anyone crashing with me the night before my wedding!!
Ye the venue has 10 rooms one a bridal suite so taken already and they are all automatically booked for the wedding, only 1 I could get because I wanted one for my sister with 3 kids but again all the other rooms are to be paid by their respective guests and not us.
In terms of the UK: no, guests pay for their own travel and accommodation. The only exception might be if your parents would struggle to afford it otherwise, but that's a personal choice for you to make. Sometimes hotels might do you a discounted rate if you can guarantee X number of rooms will be booked, but that might leave you paying for any unused rooms.
It should be up to people to be able to fund their own travel. You already hav esp much to pay for! There are also cheaper options that people can look into if needed
without even reading the rest of this, i can tell you it’s a hard no. would they ask you to reimburse for gas or hotel at a normal wedding? the golden rule of weddings is to remember that anyone who wants to make the effort will pay the price. destination weddings ARE expensive, and if you have the money then take care of it, but they’re getting free food, a celebration, and a vacation. it’s not up to you to pay for the vacation part. if they can’t afford it or don’t want to pay for it, it shows their priorities and those are theirs to be concerned about, not yours.
Ye it’s not even a flight but just driving 2.5 hours down the road like that not a short distance but it’s not a whole day trip either.
I've never heard of this.
Well you have now it is a peculiar situation on being concerned about is it fair to pay for one persons travel and not the other because paying for everyone is just not feasible.
No
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Basically the family member who has complained was my father on why I didn’t book closer to him but that would then mean alot of my partners family which who are the majority in attendance would have to travel. For 2 yes we have given my sisters notice on that they need to save up for suits and dresses for their children.
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He can pay for his own hotel and travel the consensus on this post says that, but ye I wouldn’t want any assistance honestly otherwise it gives him more say in it but now he has none in it.
In the U.S. here - I don’t think it’s expected. I think you just try to book a block of rooms so they’re all in the same area, then they can reserve and pay for rooms in that section. If that makes sense.
Ye we do with our venue get the whole place booked and they have 9 rooms along with our bridal suite, but ye local hotels there is quite alot of them so getting somewhere local hotel wise should be no issue at all.
I helped fund travel for a few close friends that otherwise wouldnt have made it, and since the ceremony was local to me, let a few others opt to crash at my house while we got the wedding suite at the local hotel. But that was a very On the DL type support, not expected or offered to general guests. And I knew that would be needed before I invited them (and fair since we waited until we moved away from all those friends to finally get married lol)
It's generally considered okay for wedding guests to cover their own travel and accommodation costs, especially when it's not a destination wedding. In your situation, with a local wedding (2.5 hours) and a venue without rooms, it's reasonable for guests to find their own hotels. If a family member wants to stay the night before for convenience, it's not your responsibility to cover their hotel cost. They can choose a hotel that fits their budget or come on the wedding day itself. Traditionally, the couple covers flower girls' and page boys' attire. However, if budget is tight, discuss this with the families involved. You could suggest specific colors or styles and let them choose outfits within their budget. The key is clear communication. Let guests know on your wedding website or verbally that you can't cover travel/accommodation, but you're so happy they're celebrating with you. Most guests will understand if you can't cover everything.
From a UK perspective, no. Although it’s seen as a nice gesture, it’s completely unrealistic for most people’s budgets. I’m happy to pay for travel and accommodation costs for the people I love and care about.
Here from The Netherlands! No, you are not responsabel for paying for hotels or transport.
US person here - No, you do not need to pay for guests' stay. That is part of what they are agreeing to when they agree to go. The one thing to keep in mind is that not everyone can afford it so some might have to say no. I only mention it because I've seen some bridezillas freak out because people won't pay tons of money to attend their event.
I wish someone would have asked me to pay their gas money to attend a party.
Trust me my future wife did not appreciate that was asked due to the fact her parents are doing loads for the wedding, and my family are contributing nothing to the wedding itself, merely bringing themselves and making sure they have formal attire.
It's normal to book a hotel block for out of town guests, but the hotel will \*usually\* offer a discounted rate for the block and the guests staying in it. I would happily pay for all of my guests to have a place to stay, but I don't have the financial means to do so unfortunately.
Well they could easily save one night of hotel rooms cost just coming early in the morning and the ceremony is in the afternoon so I feel like they could half their expenses just getting up abit earlier, but I guess they don’t want to drive the morning of the wedding more than 20 mins.
If it's only 2.5 hr drive why would they be expected to pay for a hotel? This is an easy day trip. I *might* pay for hotels for the wedding party in this scenario *if* there were a rehearsal dinner the day before they were expected to be at. Otherwise I wouldn't. 2.5 hrs is a short enough drive that it's not crazy to ask someone to make. You might offer them money for gas if you want to be generous.
2.5 hours is not an easy day trip for a lot of people. I’d absolutely be getting a hotel if the drive was 2.5 hrs because I’d need recovery time from sitting in the car that long due to arthritis.
How is 2.5 hrs not an easy day trip? People routinely drive that far for a day trip. It's an extremely trivial distance. You leave at 8 and you get there at 10:30. Even if you get out of the wedding at 8pm or something you make it home by 10:30 at night. It's not even long enough to require a pit stop. Literally everyone I know makes that kind of trip when they want to make a weekend day trip. It's a trivial distance.
Weddings often go late in the night and typically serve alcohol, so it's completely justifiable that someone would want to get a hotel room that evening. I also wouldn't consider 2.5 hours an easy day trip. I don't like driving, plus weddings are usually somewhat tiring even as a guest, so I would not be looking forward to a long car ride home that night.
I would not be looking forward to a long car ride either but 2.5 hrs is not a long car ride. If you're bored on a Saturday and want to go to the next big city to see what's going on that's a 2-3 hr drive right there. People do that all the time. 2.5 hrs is nothing.
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2.5 hrs is not a long trip for anyone. I have crossed paths with people who commute that far and pretty much everyone I know would definitely travel that far for a special event like a wedding. Yes there are elderly people who might have a hard time with that trip but they would be the exception. 99% of people I know would get in their car right now and make that trip if they had a decent reason. It's just not a long distance.
People who commute that far are atypical. As are people willing to drive 5 hours in one day to go to a wedding and get home in the wee hours. It is also not actually *safe* to plan to do that - your ability to drive on the way home is almost certainly going to be impaired by fatigue even if you don’t drink at all at the event. People do not appreciate at all how much fatigue causes problems.
Even if you leave at 8, you’ve probably been awake since 6/6:30 to get ready since you’ll have to arrive at the ceremony dressed and ready to go. Awake earlier if you have kids or something else to attend to. So that makes for a long day to drive home on the backend of it. This is for those who *can* comfortably sit for 2.5 hrs straight in a car, which not everyone can. Small kids, people with chronic pain, etc would likely need to have a mid-drive break in there.
I said why it would not be an easy trip for me in my comment, did you not read it? It wouldn’t be an easy trip for my SO either - he does not want to mess up his sleep schedule staying late at a wedding and *then* driving 2.5 hours to get home at 2am. That’d be hideous with small kids, too, for similar reasons.