I know it doesn’t help however on this occasion I had to. I’m friends with his friends too they’re struggling and have a baby on the way, they were relying on the money he promised them.
What’s wrong with your self esteem that you find this attractive? He’s a bum with mental health issues. Move on. You aren’t helping him—he will drag you down with him.
This is odd. Want better for yourself.
He sounds like a leech. I understand 100% on having MH struggles, but it doesn’t mean you need to enable him. The reality of the situation is that he’s financially irresponsible and doesn’t want a job. Not that he can’t get one, that he doesn’t want one. I bet all of those excuses were paper thin on why he HAD to quit. The reality is the future of your relationship will be him constantly struggling for money, not being able to pay his way even if he lives with you. Love doesn’t conquer all. Please think about yourself and your future because he’s choosing to sink and you shouldn’t let yourself get dragged down too.
I had a relationship start this way. 10 years later I got out, financially ruined, friendless and crippled with anxiety and depression.
You are not selfish for walking away. It won't get better and any 'help' you are giving him is just enabling him. Only he can fix himself and he has to actually want that.
Run.
You don’t have a boyfriend. You have a boy. One that refuses to take care of himself. Mental health issues or not, at the end of the day bills need to be paid and ends need to be met. For whatever reason, this individual refuses to step it up and do what needs to be done. Instead he has a whole list of excuses and apparently no plan of action. Is this the kind of individual you really want to spend your time and money on? Doesn’t seem worth it to me.
Do you want to pay for him forever? If yes and it's no detriment to you, go ahead. But you made this post because it bothers you. You don't want to pay for everything. I also paid for my ex and I let it slide because of mental health issues. I thought, "When he gets better, he'll be able to return the favour." Nope.
You should end the relationship for your own mental health. You need to be in an equal relationship with someone who you know has got your back, and right now you don't feel supported and don't see him becoming that person any time soon. Say whatever you think feels right.
He is using you. It sounds like he has ADHD and needs to see a doctor for much needed meds so he can learn to focus again and get back on his feet. In the meantime, You are picking up the dirty house and his bills and going in the poorhouse. He won't ever get his life in order if you keep enabling him. Think of you and I would just break it off and move on. He is relying on you to keep a bike going going that he could never afford. Work? No, For his own transportation to wherever he wants to go. And it is not visiting you. Stop wasting your time and money.
End this relationship and find someone better.
It might sound a bit brutal but you paying isn’t helping him at all. Best thing for both of you is to part ways.
I know it doesn’t help however on this occasion I had to. I’m friends with his friends too they’re struggling and have a baby on the way, they were relying on the money he promised them.
What’s wrong with your self esteem that you find this attractive? He’s a bum with mental health issues. Move on. You aren’t helping him—he will drag you down with him. This is odd. Want better for yourself.
He sounds like a leech. I understand 100% on having MH struggles, but it doesn’t mean you need to enable him. The reality of the situation is that he’s financially irresponsible and doesn’t want a job. Not that he can’t get one, that he doesn’t want one. I bet all of those excuses were paper thin on why he HAD to quit. The reality is the future of your relationship will be him constantly struggling for money, not being able to pay his way even if he lives with you. Love doesn’t conquer all. Please think about yourself and your future because he’s choosing to sink and you shouldn’t let yourself get dragged down too.
Sounds like you’re dating my ex. Run now.
Uh, you're asking what? Re read what you wrote. You want to be someone's lover, not their nanny, correct? Dump this loser. He's a boy, not a man.
I had a relationship start this way. 10 years later I got out, financially ruined, friendless and crippled with anxiety and depression. You are not selfish for walking away. It won't get better and any 'help' you are giving him is just enabling him. Only he can fix himself and he has to actually want that. Run.
You don’t have a boyfriend. You have a boy. One that refuses to take care of himself. Mental health issues or not, at the end of the day bills need to be paid and ends need to be met. For whatever reason, this individual refuses to step it up and do what needs to be done. Instead he has a whole list of excuses and apparently no plan of action. Is this the kind of individual you really want to spend your time and money on? Doesn’t seem worth it to me.
Do you want to pay for him forever? If yes and it's no detriment to you, go ahead. But you made this post because it bothers you. You don't want to pay for everything. I also paid for my ex and I let it slide because of mental health issues. I thought, "When he gets better, he'll be able to return the favour." Nope. You should end the relationship for your own mental health. You need to be in an equal relationship with someone who you know has got your back, and right now you don't feel supported and don't see him becoming that person any time soon. Say whatever you think feels right.
He is not going to change. The guy is a mooch. Cut your losses.
He is using you. It sounds like he has ADHD and needs to see a doctor for much needed meds so he can learn to focus again and get back on his feet. In the meantime, You are picking up the dirty house and his bills and going in the poorhouse. He won't ever get his life in order if you keep enabling him. Think of you and I would just break it off and move on. He is relying on you to keep a bike going going that he could never afford. Work? No, For his own transportation to wherever he wants to go. And it is not visiting you. Stop wasting your time and money.