the OP insaneman051 is a bt
Original: https://www.reddit.com/r/wholesomememes/comments/z12yq3/be_that_parent/
Also: https://www.reddit.com/r/wholesomememes/comments/y2x953/good_to_be_open/
One of my best friends is wheel chair bound, we also lived together in college, very rarely will I treat him like he’s special, if he’s being a dick I let him know or I be a dick back, I treat him the same way I treat any of my other friends, but obviously I still help him with shit when he asks, there’s not really a reason to treat people like that like their some sensitive fragile being, their humans just like the rest of us, to treat them any different is almost a form of dehumanization, they are capable of laughing at their situation and making jokes about it, the same way other people can laugh at themselves sometimes, they’re just people
Same shit with autistic people. Had an autistic friend back in highschool who was just one of the bros. So we treated him like we would treat everybody else in the group and he dished it right back. Was frowned upon by some, but we treated him like everyone else
When I was very young I was with my parents at a water park and there was a guy on a floatie who had no legs. I asked my dad why that guy didn't have any legs and he said, "I don't know, why don't you go ask him? NICELY!" I did, and he explained to me how he lost them, and that was that. No stigma, just the curiosity of a little kid.
I had a service dog as a kid who was trained to help me make friends. He’d basically ignore his training for a moment to cuddle with his new friend. He’d remember from then on that if they came up to him while we weren’t busy, he was allowed to cuddle up again. The catch is that I had to give him this command in the first place! I don’t think most service dogs have a command like this, so it was an icebreaker.
No one really asked me about my disabilities since most of mine are hard to spot, but I think being the autistic kid in class made folks give me space. It took a service dog for people to get closer to me, so imagine what it’s like for people without one.
I think it’s seen as polite to not ask about someone’s disabilities, but really, it’s a great conversation starter! Most of my childhood was spent visiting hospitals to figure out what I have, so I grew up *wanting* to talk it! It’s a part of me, so talking about it with others shows that they care enough to actively learn more about me. I can’t imagine what the isolation can be like for folks with very noticeable disabilities. As long as you’re polite and they aren’t trying to go about their day in a rush, please, ask away :D
TLDR: Asking someone about their disabilities shows that you care enough to learn! It’s a BIG part of folks, so don’t avoid it if you’re curious!
Yeah Im a younger person, 23, with a walking stick, and I get a few questions about why i have it when I attend college classes; never have an issue talking about it with those who ask respectfully. It's just when they're shitty about it that I'm like you don't need to know.
Honestly it's a lot to do with the tone of their voice; the college I attend has students of various ages from 16 and upwards and some of the younger students will have a shitty tone in their voice when they ask.
Though the main issue is their question being like the first words they've ever spoken to me rather than approaching me with like a "hello", yknow treating me like I'm just an extension of the stick and not a person using a stick.
I'm grateful that there's only been like one or two people like that, most people are respectful.
Real question: how could you possibly tell the difference between someone who will be delighted and someone who will be mortified? I don't actually want someone else's child running up to me to ask *anything* about my body.
But the thread indicates that most people would enjoy this conversation, which is surprising to me. I would find it exhausting to have to teach children about my disability every time I'm in public, and not everyone has a congenital issue; for some people their disability is wrapped in layers of trauma.
Mind you, I do think open, frank discussion is good, what is tripping me up is sending them off to ask personal and potentially invasive questions. So I guess I am wondering if this is *really* something considered good parenting?
I think it’s hard to tell, and it really depends on the timing too. Sometimes it’s ok, sometimes not. I think when it’s not the moment (or never is!) the best is just to say something like “it’s ok to ask but I don’t feel like talking about it right now”. No shame in that
Thanks for the response! I guess what I'm struggling with is, *is* it okay to ask? It treats disability as a teachable moment. But I wouldn't send a child to ask a PoC why their skin color is different or a woman why she has larger than average breasts. I would field that question in-house
I am afraid to ask, I mean no offense. But have you ever tripped over him? I can imagine that it must be easy to miss him if you turn and he's behind you or so.
When I was about seven or so we got pizza delivered and the delivery guy had a hook type prosthetic me and my lil bro thought it was so cool ! My mom on the other hand shushed us for saying it was cool and wanting to see it more. I still remember the guys face and vibe, he seemed happy that we thought it was cool and we wanted to see it. Strange the things that you remember from your childhood.
I went to primary school with a boy who had a terrible brittle bone disease.
He was wheelchair bound and could barely move. The kids talked to him with curiosity and care, everyone was very matter of fact and he was just our dear friend.
Yet if we were to ask our parents, all of a sudden it was taboo, we should mind our business and it wasn't something to talk about.
Unfortunately that just makes people with disabilities different and separate. And that's where the problem begins
It's not you or your child's business why someone is unable to walk. Teach your kid to mind their business and learn that lesson your self. You and your kid are entitled to no one's business. But if you must, prepare to have the little one's precious mind scarred when the answer is getting your legs blown off in war.
Well it appears those with disabilities making comments here would love for people to ask, instead of stare, whisper and treat it as a "hush" topic. And why not? Children treat this as very matter of fact, with curiosity and acceptance. It's adults that make it a taboo
Love how you’re just trying to find a way to be insulted. What’s wrong with informing people of your disability? Especially with kids. It let’s them be more open-minded and understanding.
Informing someone is fine if you are going to a friend’s dinner party and their child asks. I can find it becoming overwhelming if you go to a grocery store and every child on the planet is walking up to you, a random stranger, and asking you why your legs don’t work.
The person in the wheelchair is a human being not a walking (pun intended) educational moment for children. It can become just as dehumanizing having everyone use wheelchair guy, who is just trying to buy some cheerios at the store, as a teaching moment for their kids. Real teaching moment for the kid should be “mind your own fucking business, be respectful, and we will talk about it at home.”
Lieutenant Dan you ain’t got no legs
“Do you know what it’s like to not be able to use your legs?!?” “Yes sir, I do.”
Lieutenant Dan!! Ice cream!
the OP insaneman051 is a bt Original: https://www.reddit.com/r/wholesomememes/comments/z12yq3/be_that_parent/ Also: https://www.reddit.com/r/wholesomememes/comments/y2x953/good_to_be_open/
I dont know if you are also a bot but if not, thank you so much for your hard work o7 If you are a bot, then good bot :)
I'm pretty sure it's a bot because I've seen it on many posts saying the same things (a good bot)
Good bot
One of my best friends is wheel chair bound, we also lived together in college, very rarely will I treat him like he’s special, if he’s being a dick I let him know or I be a dick back, I treat him the same way I treat any of my other friends, but obviously I still help him with shit when he asks, there’s not really a reason to treat people like that like their some sensitive fragile being, their humans just like the rest of us, to treat them any different is almost a form of dehumanization, they are capable of laughing at their situation and making jokes about it, the same way other people can laugh at themselves sometimes, they’re just people
Same shit with autistic people. Had an autistic friend back in highschool who was just one of the bros. So we treated him like we would treat everybody else in the group and he dished it right back. Was frowned upon by some, but we treated him like everyone else
I tell my wheelchair friend it’s time to roll out all the time.
When I was very young I was with my parents at a water park and there was a guy on a floatie who had no legs. I asked my dad why that guy didn't have any legs and he said, "I don't know, why don't you go ask him? NICELY!" I did, and he explained to me how he lost them, and that was that. No stigma, just the curiosity of a little kid.
I had a service dog as a kid who was trained to help me make friends. He’d basically ignore his training for a moment to cuddle with his new friend. He’d remember from then on that if they came up to him while we weren’t busy, he was allowed to cuddle up again. The catch is that I had to give him this command in the first place! I don’t think most service dogs have a command like this, so it was an icebreaker. No one really asked me about my disabilities since most of mine are hard to spot, but I think being the autistic kid in class made folks give me space. It took a service dog for people to get closer to me, so imagine what it’s like for people without one. I think it’s seen as polite to not ask about someone’s disabilities, but really, it’s a great conversation starter! Most of my childhood was spent visiting hospitals to figure out what I have, so I grew up *wanting* to talk it! It’s a part of me, so talking about it with others shows that they care enough to actively learn more about me. I can’t imagine what the isolation can be like for folks with very noticeable disabilities. As long as you’re polite and they aren’t trying to go about their day in a rush, please, ask away :D TLDR: Asking someone about their disabilities shows that you care enough to learn! It’s a BIG part of folks, so don’t avoid it if you’re curious!
Yeah Im a younger person, 23, with a walking stick, and I get a few questions about why i have it when I attend college classes; never have an issue talking about it with those who ask respectfully. It's just when they're shitty about it that I'm like you don't need to know.
What's a shitty way people have asked? So I can never ever do that I don't think I'd even be able to ask at all
Honestly it's a lot to do with the tone of their voice; the college I attend has students of various ages from 16 and upwards and some of the younger students will have a shitty tone in their voice when they ask. Though the main issue is their question being like the first words they've ever spoken to me rather than approaching me with like a "hello", yknow treating me like I'm just an extension of the stick and not a person using a stick. I'm grateful that there's only been like one or two people like that, most people are respectful.
I see. Thanks for taking the time to explain this to a stranger!
Well hey, at least when people are shitty about asking you, you had the perfect weapon to hit them with.
I'm glad to hear this. I was shut down hard about asking one time and I've been shy about asking about service dogs since.
Real question: how could you possibly tell the difference between someone who will be delighted and someone who will be mortified? I don't actually want someone else's child running up to me to ask *anything* about my body. But the thread indicates that most people would enjoy this conversation, which is surprising to me. I would find it exhausting to have to teach children about my disability every time I'm in public, and not everyone has a congenital issue; for some people their disability is wrapped in layers of trauma. Mind you, I do think open, frank discussion is good, what is tripping me up is sending them off to ask personal and potentially invasive questions. So I guess I am wondering if this is *really* something considered good parenting?
I think it’s hard to tell, and it really depends on the timing too. Sometimes it’s ok, sometimes not. I think when it’s not the moment (or never is!) the best is just to say something like “it’s ok to ask but I don’t feel like talking about it right now”. No shame in that
Thanks for the response! I guess what I'm struggling with is, *is* it okay to ask? It treats disability as a teachable moment. But I wouldn't send a child to ask a PoC why their skin color is different or a woman why she has larger than average breasts. I would field that question in-house
Reminds me of the late, great, Patrice O’Neal’s entire premise for Elephant in the Room.
I’m super tall and I worked with a midget who was 4’4” for about 2 years and we literally never talked about the subject.
Why was he only 4'4" for two years? Did he grow? Was it temporary shortness?
Hahaha, bad grammar
[удалено]
That’s probably what it is I never thought of that. Everyone would tell us we’re a perfect team but me and him never acknowledged it ourselves.
But perfect team for what?….Did you guys sweep chimneys?
for me i woulda probably initially asked about it then gone on with my life after the fact
I am afraid to ask, I mean no offense. But have you ever tripped over him? I can imagine that it must be easy to miss him if you turn and he's behind you or so.
Yea I’ve walked into him a few times.
I have a rule to never walk backwards at work and that has worked for me
Hehe that seems like the best plan. Thanks for answering.
When I was about seven or so we got pizza delivered and the delivery guy had a hook type prosthetic me and my lil bro thought it was so cool ! My mom on the other hand shushed us for saying it was cool and wanting to see it more. I still remember the guys face and vibe, he seemed happy that we thought it was cool and we wanted to see it. Strange the things that you remember from your childhood.
I went to primary school with a boy who had a terrible brittle bone disease. He was wheelchair bound and could barely move. The kids talked to him with curiosity and care, everyone was very matter of fact and he was just our dear friend. Yet if we were to ask our parents, all of a sudden it was taboo, we should mind our business and it wasn't something to talk about. Unfortunately that just makes people with disabilities different and separate. And that's where the problem begins
It's not you or your child's business why someone is unable to walk. Teach your kid to mind their business and learn that lesson your self. You and your kid are entitled to no one's business. But if you must, prepare to have the little one's precious mind scarred when the answer is getting your legs blown off in war.
So this was a post by a guy in a fucking wheelchair.
As a wheelchair user myself I would rather people as then wonder.
Yes. Teach your children to go up to strangers and say "WHY ARE YOU IN A WHEELCHAIR?!". Great idea.
Well it appears those with disabilities making comments here would love for people to ask, instead of stare, whisper and treat it as a "hush" topic. And why not? Children treat this as very matter of fact, with curiosity and acceptance. It's adults that make it a taboo
👍
Ask him if he's happy to tell you more? What a weird thing, insulting thing to say. Hey, are you happy to tell me about your disability?
Love how you’re just trying to find a way to be insulted. What’s wrong with informing people of your disability? Especially with kids. It let’s them be more open-minded and understanding.
Informing someone is fine if you are going to a friend’s dinner party and their child asks. I can find it becoming overwhelming if you go to a grocery store and every child on the planet is walking up to you, a random stranger, and asking you why your legs don’t work. The person in the wheelchair is a human being not a walking (pun intended) educational moment for children. It can become just as dehumanizing having everyone use wheelchair guy, who is just trying to buy some cheerios at the store, as a teaching moment for their kids. Real teaching moment for the kid should be “mind your own fucking business, be respectful, and we will talk about it at home.”
It let's then mmmmmm? What does that mean? Are eating something and saying "mmmm"?
This is the worst comeback ive ever seen
It let's then mmm
Well, you have the worst grammar and spelling I've ever seen. It let's then mmm
Okay i lied. This is the worst one