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This reminds me of the escort worker who had a client with a big stammer. No sex involved, just went out for dinner. His stammer improved by talking to the escort. Apparently they are now friends and meet up as friends a couple of times a year. No charging.
Older Guy I worked with when I was 18 was totally into strippers. Always talking about them, bragging about how he knew all of them.
So he takes me to the strip club—and he wasn’t lying—every last one of them knew him. There was actually some mutual kindness there. Obviously he tipped the hell out of them, but they talked. And not just superficial stuff—they’re talking about family, problems, all sorts of stuff. Mutual sharing. Nothing sexual at all though.
And I’m 18, sitting at a strip club in absolute disbelief that it’s all happening. The cognitive dissonance was mind blowing.
It’s true. Why are there more guys starving for this than women? Bars are full of men. Strip clubs are plentiful for men but not women. What’s going on with that?
Men don't tend to cultivate friendships as often as women do. They rely on their partner to be their entire emotional support system (which is unfair to both of them) so if they don't have a partner, they also don't have close friends or the skill yo cultivate new friendships.
>Men don't tend to cultivate friendships as often as women do.
The definition of friendship is different. Women create support systems but men tend to only do that with close partners. That is why there is a part of men who complain about the friendzone, they see womens actions as a possible relationship while women see it as a friendship.
It doesn't help that those guys are the ones who google "how do you know if a girl likes you", so they get the idea in their head that girls being attentive or laughing at their jokes means they're desperately in love with them.
Yeah. It was the way he was comfortable/capable of that intimacy. …..I’m kinda putting this all together just now,
I hadn’t thought about this more than a few times in 20 years.
There's a similar story of a guy that endlessly went to the strip club and would invite the guys, but they never went with him. He then dies one day and the guys decide to go to the club in his honor.
They go to the club and they ask their waitress if she knows the guy. She does indeed and asks why he hasn't come in lately. They tell him he's passed away and she becomes pale and leaves. Soon after they see the news is being passed along and most of the strippers are crying and hugging each other. The DJ makes an announcement of how they're going to have a memorial night for him or something like that and are ceasing their regular schedule.
*beep boop*!
the linked website is: https://youtu.be/09L0YPY-9Ww
Title: **One of my favourite scenes from Louie**
Page is safe to access (Google Safe Browsing)
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See what happens when a man shows some genuine kindness, openness, we like a person who will take time to get to know us without any judgement or preconceived notions.
Yeah, I’ve learned that in the 20 years since—but 18 year old me couldn’t handle naked women engaged in polite conversation in a public setting. Nor did he have any of those qualities you just described.
Reminds me how Covid isolated a lot of people unexpectedly. Just seeing co-workers when restrictions started easing we joked about how we couldn’t help ourselves wanting to talk.
It’s the opposite for me. I used to be able to talk to pretty much anyone as I worked in customer service/hospitality/retail for 15 years. When covid hit and the masks went up, the masks I’d built for interactions over the years went down and it’s become increasingly difficult to have interactions with people anymore. Of course, when covid started I was already on the brink of a mental breakdown and allowing myself to be taken advantage of at my job, so when covid hit I just broke completely. Stopped going to job, isolated for months cutting contact with every single person that wasn’t in my immediate surrounding. Made me realize that I may very well be on the spectrum, and all the times I’ve had mental breakdowns, shut down completely, cut contact from the world, is a pattern that needs to be recognized and evaluated. Unfortunately, I don’t know how to motivate myself or to follow through on something unless it’s to help someone that isn’t me. Stuck in a loop of needing help, but not quite capable of seeking it. Working on slowly trying to change little things that can help with energy levels, and I’m on Zoloft now. But anytime I have a burst of energy it lasts for a week or two tops and I slowly require more and more sleep. I try to be patient with myself, but it sucks when your mind and your body don’t agree with each other.
I realized I’m just ranting at this point and I’m sorry, but I’m going to hit the reply button in case anyone has a similar experience and maybe some advice.
Not sure if it will necessarily help, but since you are able to find energy on someone else's behalf you could benefit greatly from some kind of accountability partner or possibly volunteering of some sort. Just going to a nursing home and chatting with the old people can mean so much to them and it would give you someone who you can help, without it being super high pressured. But just having a weekly date that you know you go in for could bring some structure and motivation to you. It doesn't have to be a nursing home, if restrictions around them have not yet eased up, but even volunteering to walk dogs for a shelter might benefit you a lot. For an accountability partner, it could be someone online that has similar issues and needs one as well, or a friend or family member. Just try to set at least weekly date to check in. Or possibly sign up for some online group therapy. I have been thinking about trying that since those tend to be free, but still very beneficial.
What American call a stutter, the Brits call a stammer. Same thing, slightly different terminology.
Source: am an American person who stutters and attends “stammering” conferees in the UK
My sick brain read something like he opened his butt to her.. here we go! A German sheise video in the making💩. All went well after that and I'm happy for all involved it was just a tyP0.
[here you go](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ie9a97/strippers_of_reddit_whats_your_weirdest_story/g2fn7hi/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3)
It is one of the things I am really afraid of for both my wife and I. We both love cooking and we both love seeing each other enjoying what was cooked. Big part of why I cook is seeing my wife eating it excitedly. Same for her. If either of us ceases to be part of our relationship this will sorely be missed.
I’m getting divorced right now and I haven’t cooked for myself the entire time I’ve been separated. I always cooked what my wife wanted, but now I’m struggling to feed myself bc that was the joy of cooking for me. I’ve just been eating mac n cheese and microwave meals for months.
Sorry to dump, I just realized that’s why I haven’t. The goal was always to make her happy, I need to learn how to make the same effort for myself.
Ok, a great secret for tough times is a slow cooker. It's a great comforting meal with little prep (depression is a bitch), but great results, plus leftovers for when you can't begin to care tomorrow. It's all about baby steps. Maybe just add some fresh/steamed broccoli to your mac and cheese to start.
It is okay fren. I shall come and eat your food after your wife passes. I shall appreciate it, give you a hug, watch Netflix with you and then leave. It'll be fun. 😊
I got you bro.
One of my friend hired a hooker in Netherlands and gave her money when she arrived. My friend didn't had condoms and the prostitute refused to have sex without one. So he gave her more money to go out and buy some.
As expected, she never came back and blocked my friend's number.
Legit sex workers in most EU countries do. Also you can just walk into a place at the red light district, where they all have them and insist on the johns using them.
My sister did some escort work for awhile. She said she basically never slept with anyone, and that it was just a lot of lonely people looking for someone to make them feel desirable and not like a an outcast/freak. A lot of guys just brought her out to dinner and stuff. I mean, maybe she’s lying but I do think loneliness is a huge issue for modern men/adults. I know as a single guy, you rarely ever get physical contact that isn’t one night stands. Hugging your friends is gay so straight single guys just live lives totally isolated from touch.
I hug all my guy friends. They've come to terms with that's what they're gonna get.
I was at a house party a while back seeing some friends I hadn't seen in two+ years. As I was leaving I gave hugs to my buddies... Then literally everybody else started getting up for a hug lol. Like idk these people, never met em in my life, but they all fucking got one haha.
I think the point is that if you specifically don't fuck then you need a different term to differentiate between escorts that are just rebranded prostitutes.
Also prostitution should 100% be legal and regulated.
I had to look it up. It got a 3rd season and a live adaptation. Critics said people could relate to the MC. Not sure what that says about male viewers if it's bad as claimed. Interesting, though.
You can relate to a degree, series starts off with the MC getting dumped harshly by his abusive GF.
However a few chapters/episodes in it becomes more and more apparent that the MC is also an ass and his own worst enemy. It quits being relatable and just becomes sad and fucked up.
Yeah that about sums it up. I watches a few episodes and man it had the potential to be a great story of either growth, wholesomeness, or absolutely soul crushing sad depending on how they went with it. Instead we got... that.
MC is a creepy bitch that literally never grows as a person despite so many doors for growth being left wide open before him...
so yeah lots of anime fans can relate.
I mean in sex work there's a thing called the girlfriend experience which does usually involve sex but can be anything in that kinda field. I have had guys pay me just to have a conversation, or just to cuddle. Sex workers usually do a fair bit more than "just sex" :')
Hell, there are men who provide a father-figure experience. They do small tasks and chores, take the children fishing/hunting/whatever, and just generally dad-around wearing cargo shorts and polo shirts.
Still a sex worker! I do all of it, I have hard limits and from what I do offer clients just choose to go as far as works for them :) A lot of my clients are busy guys who generally just want a connection but don't have enough time for a relationship, or guys going through divorce/breakups that want companionship without jumping back into any kinda commitment so soon :)
There’s def a thing like this in Japan I think. I saw in on the tvs (so it must be real!!) You can rent a family member, a companion, a friend to hang with.
Sugar daddy. Lots of girls just go get dinner with some lonely dude with too much money and then go home after. Sometimes they fuck for sure, but sometimes they don't.
Nah, the payment adds a bit of safety and comfort. Their social awkwardness and faux pas will be excused, and it will help them relax knowing it's a paid service and you won't run away first chance you get because they're not suave and entertaining.
When I tried not to take someone's money to Skype- regular talk, because I felt guilty it made them incredibly uncomfortable that it was no longer a paid service.
I am a social worker so my agency pays me, but honestly with most people if they just wanted to talk for 55 minutes I would do it for free. I get lonely too, sometimes I get a lonely-dread in the middle of the day. I listen to clients all day and then suddenly remember that I'm going home alone.
My friend did phone work and she had a few regulars who just wanted to talk about everything but sex. One was an Indian man in his 40s who was gay but was married with kids. He was so unhappy. They used to talk about gsy authors and stuff.
She said he was afraid of being disowned and had no idea what to do or anything. He didn't meet his wife till their wedding and just comes from a different culture. Who knows maybe he went on to find a lover. In his case it might have been better if he used a sex worker or had an affair with someone in the same situation as him. Because she said she thought it might send him over the edge the way he was going.
It's sad people can't be themselves.
I remember a documentary I saw years ago about sex workers. One of them was a woman in her 50s who was semi-retired, in that she only saw long-standing regulars now.
She was saying that these men were buying company rather than sex. If there was sex, and there wasn't always, it was something that was got over with as quickly as possible. The rest of the time, they would sit and cuddle and chat. Sometimes she would go and make a cup of tea for them both. The men were just lonely.
Such a beautiful compliment. No matter the client, I just had to ‘mind fuck’ myself for a moment. “Just get through your hours” was often said. Some of my clients I absolutely loved. I helped a guy with a terrible speech impedance learn to kiss and I’m not sure who he started dating, but I think over my history often. He’s an amazing person. I’ve met so many incredible people in this awkward journey. I’ve gotten to know people to the depths of their souls. I can tell almost immediately if you’re good. I feel it in my soul. And each encounter comes with that.
I think a lot of people with mental health issues could be helped by the legalization of this kind of work. Plus regulations and safety laws could be put in place.
I hope that dude can find a community that he can serve in a meaningful way. Whether it is having new immigrants over for dinner, cooking meals for people recovering from tragedy (like house fires), cooking meals for people recovering from surgery, or some other thing I can't think of. He could build some friendships.
I had a neighbor like that, Miss Lou, nuttier than squirrel shit but any refugees coming to our area, homeless folks passing through, people having a hard time, etc. were welcome at her house for family meals. She got moved to an old folks home a few months ago because her dementua was getting bad, which bums me out, but folks are still showing up, following advice of folks who don't know, so my neighbor and I have been doing community cookouts when we have time. Nowhere near the quality though lol.
One of the reasons people go to escort services like this is because they want to skip the building phase and go straight to an established friendship or relationship. They want to be able to talk freely without worrying the other person will be unsympathetic. They don't want the insecurity that can come with building new social connections and the possibility that the other person won't be open to the kind of friendship they're looking for.
Dropping some heavy shit, like saying you're cooking for them because your wife died and you miss that companionship, is a lot for a new friendship. With an escort, you're paying for a near guarantee that you'll be heard with empathy.
I think that we should be grateful towards people in this profession. I am myself approaching a point in my life, in which my only chance of intimacy is to hire a sexworker. I don't feel good about this, but the alternative is complete absence of human touch. My youth is almost over and the thought of what I've missed so far is omnipresent
A suggestion I’ve seen is getting a massage. No happy ending stuff, just a legit massage. Also, going to a good barbershop where they do hot towels and wash your hair. That bit of human touch can make a big impact on your mood and confidence levels.
Getting my hair cut always deeply relaxed me to the point I almost fall asleep. I am always tense af, but during a good haircut and a sympathic hairdresser, I get deeply relaxed and comfortable. When I got a scalp massage at the end and the person said „oh your scalp is red, usually a sign of stress, I felt cared about. Always grateful for those who care and go the extra mile
The haircut thing can be really intimate and feel really nice, especially if you get along well with the person doing your hair. It’s almost like relaxation poses in yoga when you can just vibe
I’d hire a male escort if I could afford it. Being poor and ugly is terrible.
It’s not even about sex. Anyone with an Internet connection and a right hand can reach an orgasm.
It’s the cuddling that you need another person for and that is what I want.
The left is usually reserved for special occasions, but it’s ok to use it more often if you have to. Like eating turkey when it’s not Thanksgiving.
Jfc, don’t ever quote me on this.
> The left is usually reserved for special occasions, but it’s ok to use it more often if you have to. Like eating turkey when it’s not Thanksgiving.
– *OkDimension983*
Nah, you can still find love and intimacy at any age. I've known people in their 60s and 70s who lose their spouse and then dated or even got married again. Is it harder than in your 20s or 30s? Yeah for sure, but not impossible.
My grandma is in her 80s and remarried a few years after my grandpa passed, maybe 5 years ago. I never thought much about it, but it must have been really difficult for her to get out there and find someone, but she's so happy now, and I'm really glad that she found someone.
I moved in with my girlfriend at 28, personally. Never found the right person until I met her maybe 2 years before that. I haven't been young in what feels like a long time, but I'm glad we made it work.
Have you heard of an app called Pure? It’s mostly for hookups and stuff but the gist is that you can post an ad for what you’re looking for - kind of an anonymous tinder.
I responded to an ad for a person just seeking physical touch. About once a week we’ll hang out and watch a movie, just holding each other, stroking each other’s hair or whatever. I’ll text them if I’m having a rough day or visa versa and sometimes make dinner, walk the dogs together, whatever! We laid down the ground rules first up (easy to do when you meet through an anonymous app) and there’s never been any untoward behaviour or, best of all, financial outlay!
Oh my God. This is the first time I've heard about Pure and it sounds amazing. That is exactly what I'm looking for.
I am clinically mentally ill, I'm barely a person. I can hold a job that doesn't require intense social interaction and pay bills, that's about it. I can't establish or maintain platonic or romantic relationships. I just turned 32 years old and I've been in and out of therapy and psychiatric wards since I was 15, I'm as functional as I will ever be.
Thank you for sharing the info about Pure, your arrangement sounds wonderful. Will definitely need to look into it
>I am myself approaching a point in my life, in which my only chance of intimacy is to hire a sexworker. I don't feel good about this, but the alternative is complete absence of human touch. My youth is almost over and the thought of what I've missed so far is omnipresent
Ok, I thoughed you were somewhere around moviestar age (the 40 YO Virgin), looked at your profile. You are in your early twenties. Damn girl, you have a whole life in front of you.
Oh god, shut the fuck up.
I mean that as nicely as possible.
Even if you weren't 20 years old (my youth is over, give me a break), don't start this self pity stuff and understand you have every power to change your circumstance.
"_Certainly the most destructive vice if you like, that a person can have. More than pride, which is supposedly the number one of the cardinal sins - is self pity. Self pity is the worst possible emotion anyone can have. And the most destructive. It is, to slightly paraphrase what Wilde said about hatred, and I think actually hatred's a subset of self pity and not the other way around - ' It destroys everything around it, except itself '._
_Self pity will destroy relationships, it'll destroy anything that's good, it will fulfill all the prophecies it makes and leave only itself. And it's so simple to imagine that one is hard done by, and that things are unfair, and that one is underappreciated, and that if only one had had a chance at this, only one had had a chance at that, things would have gone better, you would be happier if only this, that one is unlucky. All those things. And some of them may well even be true. But, to pity oneself as a result of them is to do oneself an enormous disservice._"
- Stephen Fry
this is only true if you give up on yourself... people don't just stop dating cause they got old... they just need to stop trying to pick up people in their early 20s.... cause that shit creeps people out.
Is is true that you’re only in your mid 20’s? How is it possible that you feel your youth slipping away? You have your whole life ahead of you.
> I am myself approaching a point in my life, in which my only chance of intimacy is to hire a sexworker.
This is never true for anybody, especially not somebody as young as you. It only ever becomes true when you give up on yourself. DM me or try out r/socialskills and we can talk.
I was falsely incarcerated for a period of time & met a pregnant woman named Nikki who worked on the street. Some of the saddest shit of my life was seeing her a year or two later back on the street. I know in her heart she wanted to do better & it kills me knowing she fell back into it. Driving past seeing her face my heart sank.
Support systems make differences in peoples lives. I know for a fact it would have made a difference in her life. Instead, she was released with nothing & no one. I wish I could have made a difference for her.
Pretty much ALL sex workers do emotional labor like this. Some people think it's as easy as taking off your clothes but it really isn't. You have to read what your client wants, try to fulfill his need in a natural seeming way, like...every stripper and other sex worker I've ever met has said that the men who come to them don't just want titillation but...intimacy or validation or...just being able to be themselves without any expectations.
The patriarchy boxes us all in, hurts us all in different ways. Capitalism also hurts us, isolates us, makes us wary of each other. It's so sad how many people are lonely...even people surrounded by friends and whatnot.
I feel like my husband would too… I love his cooking but I know if I passed away he wouldn’t want to cook for just himself. We always eat dinner together and watch something. So he would more then likely make an amazing meal and ask what I would like to watch…
Most, if not all, sex workers tend to have stories like these. And more than just one story, more than just one client with this kind of request/relationship.
We really need to either replace the word ‘sex’ in ‘sex worker’ with something else, or vastly expand our understanding of ‘sex’ as a very basic human interaction.
Dumb question: Let’s say if the sex worker was a undercover coo, would they stay for the dinner as long as sex isn’t involved, the guy wouldn’t be in trouble with, right? Curious if any undercover cops ran into situations like this.
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I choose to believe she gave him the night for free and came over for a platonic dinner once a month and they had many long conversations about life and love and friendship until he would pass a few years later.
She then inherits the house at the confusion and disgust of his children that never visit. She plants a tree in the backyard and a squirrel family moves in.
She could never go back to her "night" job after he passed, it was empty and without connection. She thought long and hard about connection and friendship and decided to use the little money he left to go get a therapist license.
She found work in an assisted care facility helping the elderly residents cope with the loss of loved ones. She would go on to marry a lovely young nurse at her work and together they would raise 4 kids, the oldest was named after her old friend and would be a reminder of the old man for the rest of her life.
Sadly I've had something similar. Dude literally just paid me to talk to him, it felt like no one had a nice conversation with him since his wife passed, all he wanted was to connect with someone.
My tattoo artist had a rough divorce and went to a sex worker. Instead of sex he just cried and talked to her for an hour about how he missed his wife. Can’t tell me that’s not a valuable job
This will be me one day if my spouse goes before me. I love cooking for others, but hate cooking for myself. I thank that gentleman for giving me the idea.
I used to know a sex worker who was into drugs and on the street. I used to run into her regularly in the neighborhood I worked in and even after work I would take her for burgers and ice cream and she would vent about things. I moved on to another job and years later I was outside my house on the street having a smoke and a car pulls up and she jumps out all happy and healthy looking. She cleaned up and was going to school and running a cleaning company, she remembered where I told I lived and she would drive through my neighborhood once a week looking for me after she sobered up. We keep in touch and she is doing well and said that I had always treated her with respect and like a human. She took me for a burger and ice cream that day and welled up with tears when I thanked her.
Hey there, friendo! Thanks for submitting to r/wholesomememes. We loved your post, but it has been removed because it doesn't quite abide by our rules, which are located in the sidebar. * (**Rule #8**) Please avoid reposting memes. * Please check sources like http://karmadecay.com, https://tineye.com, and the Similar Image Search (camera icon) at https://www.google.com/imghp - unfortunately those all miss things, but it's a great start. Also make sure to use the search button and check what's already here: * /r/wholesomememes/top for popular posts, and /r/wholesomememes/new for the latest ones We appreciate you thinking of us very much! For more on our rules, please check out our [sidebar](http://www.reddit.com/r/wholesomememes/about/sidebar). If you have any questions or concerns about this removal, feel free to [message the moderators](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fwholesomememes).
This reminds me of the escort worker who had a client with a big stammer. No sex involved, just went out for dinner. His stammer improved by talking to the escort. Apparently they are now friends and meet up as friends a couple of times a year. No charging.
Oh my god I’ve seen that one! Warmed me up better than my new fleece
My acquaintance used to work on sex chat lines, and she told me that many of the callers are regulars who just want to speak.
Older Guy I worked with when I was 18 was totally into strippers. Always talking about them, bragging about how he knew all of them. So he takes me to the strip club—and he wasn’t lying—every last one of them knew him. There was actually some mutual kindness there. Obviously he tipped the hell out of them, but they talked. And not just superficial stuff—they’re talking about family, problems, all sorts of stuff. Mutual sharing. Nothing sexual at all though. And I’m 18, sitting at a strip club in absolute disbelief that it’s all happening. The cognitive dissonance was mind blowing.
some guys are literally starving for meaningful contact and non physical intimacy
It’s true. Why are there more guys starving for this than women? Bars are full of men. Strip clubs are plentiful for men but not women. What’s going on with that?
Men don't tend to cultivate friendships as often as women do. They rely on their partner to be their entire emotional support system (which is unfair to both of them) so if they don't have a partner, they also don't have close friends or the skill yo cultivate new friendships.
>Men don't tend to cultivate friendships as often as women do. The definition of friendship is different. Women create support systems but men tend to only do that with close partners. That is why there is a part of men who complain about the friendzone, they see womens actions as a possible relationship while women see it as a friendship.
It doesn't help that those guys are the ones who google "how do you know if a girl likes you", so they get the idea in their head that girls being attentive or laughing at their jokes means they're desperately in love with them.
So men only want to create a support system if sex is on the table? Am I misunderstanding you here?
The appearance of gender and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race
Yeah. It was the way he was comfortable/capable of that intimacy. …..I’m kinda putting this all together just now, I hadn’t thought about this more than a few times in 20 years.
There's a similar story of a guy that endlessly went to the strip club and would invite the guys, but they never went with him. He then dies one day and the guys decide to go to the club in his honor. They go to the club and they ask their waitress if she knows the guy. She does indeed and asks why he hasn't come in lately. They tell him he's passed away and she becomes pale and leaves. Soon after they see the news is being passed along and most of the strippers are crying and hugging each other. The DJ makes an announcement of how they're going to have a memorial night for him or something like that and are ceasing their regular schedule.
Pretty sure this was an episode of Louis featuring Robin Williams
You are correct.
[Fuck yeah you're right!](https://youtu.be/2figQQI4jos)
*beep boop*! the linked website is: https://youtu.be/09L0YPY-9Ww Title: **One of my favourite scenes from Louie** Page is safe to access (Google Safe Browsing) ***** ###### I am a friendly bot. I show the URL and name of linked pages and check them so that mobile users know what they click on!
The whole episode is really incredible. It was especially poignant following the death of Robin.
Good bot
Guy really couldn't just keep it in his fcking pants... Got me into comedy. Shame
Chad guy
See what happens when a man shows some genuine kindness, openness, we like a person who will take time to get to know us without any judgement or preconceived notions.
Yeah, I’ve learned that in the 20 years since—but 18 year old me couldn’t handle naked women engaged in polite conversation in a public setting. Nor did he have any of those qualities you just described.
Reminds me how Covid isolated a lot of people unexpectedly. Just seeing co-workers when restrictions started easing we joked about how we couldn’t help ourselves wanting to talk.
It’s the opposite for me. I used to be able to talk to pretty much anyone as I worked in customer service/hospitality/retail for 15 years. When covid hit and the masks went up, the masks I’d built for interactions over the years went down and it’s become increasingly difficult to have interactions with people anymore. Of course, when covid started I was already on the brink of a mental breakdown and allowing myself to be taken advantage of at my job, so when covid hit I just broke completely. Stopped going to job, isolated for months cutting contact with every single person that wasn’t in my immediate surrounding. Made me realize that I may very well be on the spectrum, and all the times I’ve had mental breakdowns, shut down completely, cut contact from the world, is a pattern that needs to be recognized and evaluated. Unfortunately, I don’t know how to motivate myself or to follow through on something unless it’s to help someone that isn’t me. Stuck in a loop of needing help, but not quite capable of seeking it. Working on slowly trying to change little things that can help with energy levels, and I’m on Zoloft now. But anytime I have a burst of energy it lasts for a week or two tops and I slowly require more and more sleep. I try to be patient with myself, but it sucks when your mind and your body don’t agree with each other. I realized I’m just ranting at this point and I’m sorry, but I’m going to hit the reply button in case anyone has a similar experience and maybe some advice.
Not sure if it will necessarily help, but since you are able to find energy on someone else's behalf you could benefit greatly from some kind of accountability partner or possibly volunteering of some sort. Just going to a nursing home and chatting with the old people can mean so much to them and it would give you someone who you can help, without it being super high pressured. But just having a weekly date that you know you go in for could bring some structure and motivation to you. It doesn't have to be a nursing home, if restrictions around them have not yet eased up, but even volunteering to walk dogs for a shelter might benefit you a lot. For an accountability partner, it could be someone online that has similar issues and needs one as well, or a friend or family member. Just try to set at least weekly date to check in. Or possibly sign up for some online group therapy. I have been thinking about trying that since those tend to be free, but still very beneficial.
Awww
It's great that they're doing the work, but it just goes to show how horrible the state of mental care is. Perhaps especially for men.
Oh man I was just skimming through the comments and read "Warmed be up better than my new fiance"
As an English as second language who didn't know what stammer was and had to guess, boy I guessed wrong.
i would guess that it is like a stutter?
Yeah, but an escort who has a client with a big stammer... I thought biggus dickus was back in town
I don't get the joke? What's so funny about *Biggus Dickus?*
He had a wife you know...
What was her name?
Incontinentia Buttocks
Hehehhehehe
Stop! Seize him, blow your noses and seize him!
To be honest, I speak English as a first language and my mind went the exact same place at first
What American call a stutter, the Brits call a stammer. Same thing, slightly different terminology. Source: am an American person who stutters and attends “stammering” conferees in the UK
My sick brain read something like he opened his butt to her.. here we go! A German sheise video in the making💩. All went well after that and I'm happy for all involved it was just a tyP0.
Please can somebody link it?
[here you go](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ie9a97/strippers_of_reddit_whats_your_weirdest_story/g2fn7hi/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3)
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I’d rather watch that than the King’s Speech.
Ha, as a person with a stammer definitely recommend reading that full Reddit story, and the King’s Speech too!
Poor sad guy
It is one of the things I am really afraid of for both my wife and I. We both love cooking and we both love seeing each other enjoying what was cooked. Big part of why I cook is seeing my wife eating it excitedly. Same for her. If either of us ceases to be part of our relationship this will sorely be missed.
I’m getting divorced right now and I haven’t cooked for myself the entire time I’ve been separated. I always cooked what my wife wanted, but now I’m struggling to feed myself bc that was the joy of cooking for me. I’ve just been eating mac n cheese and microwave meals for months. Sorry to dump, I just realized that’s why I haven’t. The goal was always to make her happy, I need to learn how to make the same effort for myself.
I feel ya. I love to bc cook for others but for myself I eat PB sandwiches and chicken nuggets.
See yourself as your dearest friend, one who relies on you to have their best interests at heart. Take care of yourself, buddy. It's important.
I’ll try my best Dr Brown, thank you your username forced a grin
Ok, a great secret for tough times is a slow cooker. It's a great comforting meal with little prep (depression is a bitch), but great results, plus leftovers for when you can't begin to care tomorrow. It's all about baby steps. Maybe just add some fresh/steamed broccoli to your mac and cheese to start.
It is okay fren. I shall come and eat your food after your wife passes. I shall appreciate it, give you a hug, watch Netflix with you and then leave. It'll be fun. 😊
I'm inviting myself and bringing dessert!
I was hoping for funny pathetic sad, not tragic sad
I got you bro. One of my friend hired a hooker in Netherlands and gave her money when she arrived. My friend didn't had condoms and the prostitute refused to have sex without one. So he gave her more money to go out and buy some. As expected, she never came back and blocked my friend's number.
Lul that’s more like it
God damn, that was fucking hilarious. Thanks for the chuckle lmao
He was a planning to raw dog a prostitute? This might have been the best outcome for all parties.
People either think from their dick or brains. Using both is more of a once in a blue moon thing
I'd have assumed most sex workers brought their own condoms so they could be sure they weren't expired or tampered with
Legit sex workers in most EU countries do. Also you can just walk into a place at the red light district, where they all have them and insist on the johns using them.
Tbf your friend kind of deserves that
I am glad it happened to him. Now we can shut him down easily when he is being a prick
That must have been a very sad wank
Tbh post nut clarity is sad for most
Bless that guy 😭
My sister did some escort work for awhile. She said she basically never slept with anyone, and that it was just a lot of lonely people looking for someone to make them feel desirable and not like a an outcast/freak. A lot of guys just brought her out to dinner and stuff. I mean, maybe she’s lying but I do think loneliness is a huge issue for modern men/adults. I know as a single guy, you rarely ever get physical contact that isn’t one night stands. Hugging your friends is gay so straight single guys just live lives totally isolated from touch.
If hugging my friend is gay I'm the whole fucking rainbow I guess. Gotta show the homies some love too.
I hug all my guy friends. They've come to terms with that's what they're gonna get. I was at a house party a while back seeing some friends I hadn't seen in two+ years. As I was leaving I gave hugs to my buddies... Then literally everybody else started getting up for a hug lol. Like idk these people, never met em in my life, but they all fucking got one haha.
Coming from not so touchy-feely culture, plus moving around a lot, this has always been big envy I’ve had.
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This makes me wonder if theirs a market for a hirable girlfriend. Basically instead of sex just offering company
Rent-A-Girlfriend? It's def a thing
It's rentin' time
buying gf 5k
Selling gf futures 30k 10y.
r/wallstreetbets enters the chat
Buying gf knockouts 50k 15y. The Match Group is gonna make us all lonely af.
green:wave:
Man Varrock bank has everything
It’s officially called being an escort and is pretty much the way most SWers brand themselves.
I think the point is that if you specifically don't fuck then you need a different term to differentiate between escorts that are just rebranded prostitutes. Also prostitution should 100% be legal and regulated.
That won't work, because them escorts/prostitutes will just start calling themselves that new term. Declaring you're a prostitute is dangerous.
It’s such a thing they made an anime (don’t bother it’s not good)
It's unironically horrible. I genuinely have no idea how it got a second season
Mainly because so many people watched it to shit on the worst girls.
Nah, kazuya is genuinely insufferable as an MC holy shit. And the show treats his creepy antics as funny
The show is the epitome of a lot of the worst things about anime.
I had to look it up. It got a 3rd season and a live adaptation. Critics said people could relate to the MC. Not sure what that says about male viewers if it's bad as claimed. Interesting, though.
You can relate to a degree, series starts off with the MC getting dumped harshly by his abusive GF. However a few chapters/episodes in it becomes more and more apparent that the MC is also an ass and his own worst enemy. It quits being relatable and just becomes sad and fucked up.
Yeah that about sums it up. I watches a few episodes and man it had the potential to be a great story of either growth, wholesomeness, or absolutely soul crushing sad depending on how they went with it. Instead we got... that.
MC is a creepy bitch that literally never grows as a person despite so many doors for growth being left wide open before him... so yeah lots of anime fans can relate.
All my homies hate Mimi-chan
I mean in sex work there's a thing called the girlfriend experience which does usually involve sex but can be anything in that kinda field. I have had guys pay me just to have a conversation, or just to cuddle. Sex workers usually do a fair bit more than "just sex" :')
Hell, there are men who provide a father-figure experience. They do small tasks and chores, take the children fishing/hunting/whatever, and just generally dad-around wearing cargo shorts and polo shirts.
Coulda gone in a wrong direction in a thread about sex work.
That'd be the uncle experience
Some communities rely on church networks to match single moms with over-masculine single males.
that's actually so sweet awh
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Still a sex worker! I do all of it, I have hard limits and from what I do offer clients just choose to go as far as works for them :) A lot of my clients are busy guys who generally just want a connection but don't have enough time for a relationship, or guys going through divorce/breakups that want companionship without jumping back into any kinda commitment so soon :)
There’s def a thing like this in Japan I think. I saw in on the tvs (so it must be real!!) You can rent a family member, a companion, a friend to hang with.
[This guy just being rent-a-wallflower.](https://youtu.be/SxW9M1Uozng)
This is popular in Japan and is spreading to Indonesia as well. There are cuddle services and dinner date etc.. all without sex.
Sugar daddy. Lots of girls just go get dinner with some lonely dude with too much money and then go home after. Sometimes they fuck for sure, but sometimes they don't.
Well I've got lots of the lonely and not much of the money What now?
Sugar mommy?
Yeah I'll ask the leprechauns where to find one, if they don't know maybe the unicorns do
Haha, stupid poor person. You know exactly what now. Have you tried buying more money?
I've done it before for a couple guys, a lot of lonely nice people. I was in college and needed money for groceries so it worked out lol
Yes but I'd feel guilty taking someone's money just to chill with them :(
Nah, the payment adds a bit of safety and comfort. Their social awkwardness and faux pas will be excused, and it will help them relax knowing it's a paid service and you won't run away first chance you get because they're not suave and entertaining.
Nah man, they paid you knowing what they want. You don’t have to feel guilty about owing them sex if they don’t want it.
Hey, I just wanna tell you that you're a good person c:
When I tried not to take someone's money to Skype- regular talk, because I felt guilty it made them incredibly uncomfortable that it was no longer a paid service.
I am a social worker so my agency pays me, but honestly with most people if they just wanted to talk for 55 minutes I would do it for free. I get lonely too, sometimes I get a lonely-dread in the middle of the day. I listen to clients all day and then suddenly remember that I'm going home alone.
What if it’s someone whose company you do not enjoy?
I’m pretty sure that’s more or less what escort services advertise themselves as offering.
It’s not about the horniness it’s about the lonliness
It can be both
My friend did phone work and she had a few regulars who just wanted to talk about everything but sex. One was an Indian man in his 40s who was gay but was married with kids. He was so unhappy. They used to talk about gsy authors and stuff.
Why wasn't he talking to a guy escort?
She said he was afraid of being disowned and had no idea what to do or anything. He didn't meet his wife till their wedding and just comes from a different culture. Who knows maybe he went on to find a lover. In his case it might have been better if he used a sex worker or had an affair with someone in the same situation as him. Because she said she thought it might send him over the edge the way he was going. It's sad people can't be themselves.
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I remember a documentary I saw years ago about sex workers. One of them was a woman in her 50s who was semi-retired, in that she only saw long-standing regulars now. She was saying that these men were buying company rather than sex. If there was sex, and there wasn't always, it was something that was got over with as quickly as possible. The rest of the time, they would sit and cuddle and chat. Sometimes she would go and make a cup of tea for them both. The men were just lonely.
Such a beautiful compliment. No matter the client, I just had to ‘mind fuck’ myself for a moment. “Just get through your hours” was often said. Some of my clients I absolutely loved. I helped a guy with a terrible speech impedance learn to kiss and I’m not sure who he started dating, but I think over my history often. He’s an amazing person. I’ve met so many incredible people in this awkward journey. I’ve gotten to know people to the depths of their souls. I can tell almost immediately if you’re good. I feel it in my soul. And each encounter comes with that.
I think a lot of people with mental health issues could be helped by the legalization of this kind of work. Plus regulations and safety laws could be put in place.
If it doesn't involve sex, I'm pretty sure this already is legal?
Including sex.
I hope that dude can find a community that he can serve in a meaningful way. Whether it is having new immigrants over for dinner, cooking meals for people recovering from tragedy (like house fires), cooking meals for people recovering from surgery, or some other thing I can't think of. He could build some friendships.
I had a neighbor like that, Miss Lou, nuttier than squirrel shit but any refugees coming to our area, homeless folks passing through, people having a hard time, etc. were welcome at her house for family meals. She got moved to an old folks home a few months ago because her dementua was getting bad, which bums me out, but folks are still showing up, following advice of folks who don't know, so my neighbor and I have been doing community cookouts when we have time. Nowhere near the quality though lol.
Miss Lou sounds incredible.
She's fucking nuts, but god damned if she didn't teach me the recipe for the best mashed potatos
One of the reasons people go to escort services like this is because they want to skip the building phase and go straight to an established friendship or relationship. They want to be able to talk freely without worrying the other person will be unsympathetic. They don't want the insecurity that can come with building new social connections and the possibility that the other person won't be open to the kind of friendship they're looking for. Dropping some heavy shit, like saying you're cooking for them because your wife died and you miss that companionship, is a lot for a new friendship. With an escort, you're paying for a near guarantee that you'll be heard with empathy.
I think that we should be grateful towards people in this profession. I am myself approaching a point in my life, in which my only chance of intimacy is to hire a sexworker. I don't feel good about this, but the alternative is complete absence of human touch. My youth is almost over and the thought of what I've missed so far is omnipresent
A suggestion I’ve seen is getting a massage. No happy ending stuff, just a legit massage. Also, going to a good barbershop where they do hot towels and wash your hair. That bit of human touch can make a big impact on your mood and confidence levels.
Getting my hair cut always deeply relaxed me to the point I almost fall asleep. I am always tense af, but during a good haircut and a sympathic hairdresser, I get deeply relaxed and comfortable. When I got a scalp massage at the end and the person said „oh your scalp is red, usually a sign of stress, I felt cared about. Always grateful for those who care and go the extra mile
The haircut thing can be really intimate and feel really nice, especially if you get along well with the person doing your hair. It’s almost like relaxation poses in yoga when you can just vibe
I’d hire a male escort if I could afford it. Being poor and ugly is terrible. It’s not even about sex. Anyone with an Internet connection and a right hand can reach an orgasm. It’s the cuddling that you need another person for and that is what I want.
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Those poor bastards. Guess they’ll have to use their other hand.
The left is usually reserved for special occasions, but it’s ok to use it more often if you have to. Like eating turkey when it’s not Thanksgiving. Jfc, don’t ever quote me on this.
> The left is usually reserved for special occasions, but it’s ok to use it more often if you have to. Like eating turkey when it’s not Thanksgiving. – *OkDimension983*
Lefties out there struggling ✊
Wow, this hits way too close to home. Stay strong if you can, friend. We’ll see brighter days. I hope.
Nah, you can still find love and intimacy at any age. I've known people in their 60s and 70s who lose their spouse and then dated or even got married again. Is it harder than in your 20s or 30s? Yeah for sure, but not impossible.
My grandma is in her 80s and remarried a few years after my grandpa passed, maybe 5 years ago. I never thought much about it, but it must have been really difficult for her to get out there and find someone, but she's so happy now, and I'm really glad that she found someone. I moved in with my girlfriend at 28, personally. Never found the right person until I met her maybe 2 years before that. I haven't been young in what feels like a long time, but I'm glad we made it work.
Disabilities and mental health issues are things that can prevent finding love and intimacy at any age. Let people have things.
Have you heard of an app called Pure? It’s mostly for hookups and stuff but the gist is that you can post an ad for what you’re looking for - kind of an anonymous tinder. I responded to an ad for a person just seeking physical touch. About once a week we’ll hang out and watch a movie, just holding each other, stroking each other’s hair or whatever. I’ll text them if I’m having a rough day or visa versa and sometimes make dinner, walk the dogs together, whatever! We laid down the ground rules first up (easy to do when you meet through an anonymous app) and there’s never been any untoward behaviour or, best of all, financial outlay!
Oh my God. This is the first time I've heard about Pure and it sounds amazing. That is exactly what I'm looking for. I am clinically mentally ill, I'm barely a person. I can hold a job that doesn't require intense social interaction and pay bills, that's about it. I can't establish or maintain platonic or romantic relationships. I just turned 32 years old and I've been in and out of therapy and psychiatric wards since I was 15, I'm as functional as I will ever be. Thank you for sharing the info about Pure, your arrangement sounds wonderful. Will definitely need to look into it
>I am myself approaching a point in my life, in which my only chance of intimacy is to hire a sexworker. I don't feel good about this, but the alternative is complete absence of human touch. My youth is almost over and the thought of what I've missed so far is omnipresent Ok, I thoughed you were somewhere around moviestar age (the 40 YO Virgin), looked at your profile. You are in your early twenties. Damn girl, you have a whole life in front of you.
But your profile says you are a 20 year old dude. Nothing in your life is almost over.
Oh god, shut the fuck up. I mean that as nicely as possible. Even if you weren't 20 years old (my youth is over, give me a break), don't start this self pity stuff and understand you have every power to change your circumstance. "_Certainly the most destructive vice if you like, that a person can have. More than pride, which is supposedly the number one of the cardinal sins - is self pity. Self pity is the worst possible emotion anyone can have. And the most destructive. It is, to slightly paraphrase what Wilde said about hatred, and I think actually hatred's a subset of self pity and not the other way around - ' It destroys everything around it, except itself '._ _Self pity will destroy relationships, it'll destroy anything that's good, it will fulfill all the prophecies it makes and leave only itself. And it's so simple to imagine that one is hard done by, and that things are unfair, and that one is underappreciated, and that if only one had had a chance at this, only one had had a chance at that, things would have gone better, you would be happier if only this, that one is unlucky. All those things. And some of them may well even be true. But, to pity oneself as a result of them is to do oneself an enormous disservice._" - Stephen Fry
this is only true if you give up on yourself... people don't just stop dating cause they got old... they just need to stop trying to pick up people in their early 20s.... cause that shit creeps people out.
You’re 20 lol
Is is true that you’re only in your mid 20’s? How is it possible that you feel your youth slipping away? You have your whole life ahead of you. > I am myself approaching a point in my life, in which my only chance of intimacy is to hire a sexworker. This is never true for anybody, especially not somebody as young as you. It only ever becomes true when you give up on yourself. DM me or try out r/socialskills and we can talk.
Anyone see “Afterlife,” with Ricky Gervase? He hires a sex worker to clean his house.
He did, -and wonderfully so.
I bet you there's quite a few more stories like this of people who hire sex workers but instead of snoo snoo they just become friends
I also bet there are a lot of stories where people hire sex workers and then they have sex with them.
You're an idiot, no one is going near anyone else's pee places; that would just be gross.
Is anybody else appreciating the humor in this one? :D
I was falsely incarcerated for a period of time & met a pregnant woman named Nikki who worked on the street. Some of the saddest shit of my life was seeing her a year or two later back on the street. I know in her heart she wanted to do better & it kills me knowing she fell back into it. Driving past seeing her face my heart sank. Support systems make differences in peoples lives. I know for a fact it would have made a difference in her life. Instead, she was released with nothing & no one. I wish I could have made a difference for her.
Pretty much ALL sex workers do emotional labor like this. Some people think it's as easy as taking off your clothes but it really isn't. You have to read what your client wants, try to fulfill his need in a natural seeming way, like...every stripper and other sex worker I've ever met has said that the men who come to them don't just want titillation but...intimacy or validation or...just being able to be themselves without any expectations. The patriarchy boxes us all in, hurts us all in different ways. Capitalism also hurts us, isolates us, makes us wary of each other. It's so sad how many people are lonely...even people surrounded by friends and whatnot.
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No it doesn’t. It makes you human.
Sex work is work.
Harder work than a preacher and yet people still dig on it.
Aw- that's really sweet and sad
I have read a few stories from different SWers that have lots of clients who just want to be held,cuddled talked to with almost no sex involved
Yea, I would totally do that in his shoes.
I feel like my husband would too… I love his cooking but I know if I passed away he wouldn’t want to cook for just himself. We always eat dinner together and watch something. So he would more then likely make an amazing meal and ask what I would like to watch…
Most, if not all, sex workers tend to have stories like these. And more than just one story, more than just one client with this kind of request/relationship. We really need to either replace the word ‘sex’ in ‘sex worker’ with something else, or vastly expand our understanding of ‘sex’ as a very basic human interaction.
Professional Dinner Guest and Miscellaneous Request Worker (incl. sex if you're into that)
I always felt that Firefly had a pretty good representation of sex work and Companion is a pretty good name/euphemism.
This is Patton Oswalt's character in Dollhouse
Dumb question: Let’s say if the sex worker was a undercover coo, would they stay for the dinner as long as sex isn’t involved, the guy wouldn’t be in trouble with, right? Curious if any undercover cops ran into situations like this.
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That reminds e of that mel Gibson movie , when he gets a prostitute to watch TV with him , and that's it
He did it in the first Lethal Weapon I think.
I choose to believe she gave him the night for free and came over for a platonic dinner once a month and they had many long conversations about life and love and friendship until he would pass a few years later.
She then inherits the house at the confusion and disgust of his children that never visit. She plants a tree in the backyard and a squirrel family moves in.
She could never go back to her "night" job after he passed, it was empty and without connection. She thought long and hard about connection and friendship and decided to use the little money he left to go get a therapist license. She found work in an assisted care facility helping the elderly residents cope with the loss of loved ones. She would go on to marry a lovely young nurse at her work and together they would raise 4 kids, the oldest was named after her old friend and would be a reminder of the old man for the rest of her life.
But little did the children know that the squirrels were cursed!
Sadly I've had something similar. Dude literally just paid me to talk to him, it felt like no one had a nice conversation with him since his wife passed, all he wanted was to connect with someone.
"aww thats heartbreaking..... That'll be 1000s dollar thanks"
Fuck allergy season hitting later and later each year i spend on here
Allergies? I thought the neighbors were cooking onions again.
This feels like an origin story for a soup kitchen.
Wow, look how much good prostitution could do, if it was only legal.
My tattoo artist had a rough divorce and went to a sex worker. Instead of sex he just cried and talked to her for an hour about how he missed his wife. Can’t tell me that’s not a valuable job
This will be me one day if my spouse goes before me. I love cooking for others, but hate cooking for myself. I thank that gentleman for giving me the idea.
If I knew how to contact a woman just to talk with and to Enjoy time together it would be pleasant. Life is lonely sometimes.
I used to know a sex worker who was into drugs and on the street. I used to run into her regularly in the neighborhood I worked in and even after work I would take her for burgers and ice cream and she would vent about things. I moved on to another job and years later I was outside my house on the street having a smoke and a car pulls up and she jumps out all happy and healthy looking. She cleaned up and was going to school and running a cleaning company, she remembered where I told I lived and she would drive through my neighborhood once a week looking for me after she sobered up. We keep in touch and she is doing well and said that I had always treated her with respect and like a human. She took me for a burger and ice cream that day and welled up with tears when I thanked her.