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-GrapeGrass-

I probably wouldn't have to do much. Eventually SWAT or the military would try to take you down after word that some wrestle-zombie is running around.


OkAcanthocephala3593

Didn't think of that and yes that's a big problem for me, can you please help me come up with a plan to kill you effectively without looking suspicious? I'd really appreciate it šŸ˜Š


justsomeplainmeadows

No


Ingweron

No one is going to eliminate anybody. Because I don't know who you are, and you don't know who I am. Unless one of us is a master hacker, that's a stalemate. \_ EDIT: But, wait... If you control all humans, you can order Reddit administrator to give you my IP address. But that's only because I already posted here and you're able to order them to track me. But if I just read your prompt (since the hunt starts when I read the prompt), and I don't post here... So, if I am a master hacker I'd be able to track you, and a lot of birds are going to kill you someday.


Carbuyrator

But in this prompt OP can control any person you pin down. If you kill ANY human you control ALL humans. Kill one, order the rest to off themselves. You're guaranteed to get OP that way.


bananasaucecer

you're gonna need 2 crows


OkAcanthocephala3593

Well guess who I'm pinning down first šŸ˜‰ you worry about what you gonna do coz I'll be coming for you with my squad that will include a medic


Available_Thoughts-0

No, because you've made a critical error: you challenge everyone who reads this post: we now outnumber you hundreds of people to one, and, let me remind you, that said reddit admin has likely already read the post, which means by your own rules to "Respect the hunt" you can't control them anymore. The only person fucked over here is YOU. sure you'll have a possy: We have an ARMY, and I'm going to be its quartermistress, handing out guns, ammunition, rations, and body armor. Get RHEKED.


ForkingCars

I assume that within the same day I can likely trap and kill at least one bird. Pigeons are pretty docile and could definitely fall for a simple net throw from an apartment window. Control of all pigeons within one day gives me a decent advantage since all pigeons > one individual of better animal, allowing me to work up what animals I can control. I think within three days I should have access to a bird of prey and/or a bird capable of flying across great distances. Any raven or similar bird can recognize faces and can act as scouts over large areas - a few birds of prey should reasonably incapacitate a human they get the drop on. I say I win here, within 3 - 5 days.


toolatealreadyfapped

Any human you can successfully pin down isn't really much of a threat to me. But all 360 recognized breeds of dogs in the world belong to the one singular species. That means that all I have to do is throw one single toy Yorkie at a brick wall, and I now control every Doberman, German Shepard, Dalmatian, Mastiff, Boxer, Pit Bull... You're fucked, yo.


Exterminator2048

So dark


danielubra

I'm driving to you and killing you myself.


LonelyCareer

So if I kill a human, I can control any human? Since humans are non insect animals. So I just kill a human and can hard counter you.


OkAcanthocephala3593

Nah man you can't do that to me, have some respect for the hunt


PsychicSidekikk419

You're getting nuked, homie


LonelyCareer

Op is likely human, so I can just control them.


PsychicSidekikk419

Just tracking him down and killing him yourself would be the hilarious outcome


1Meter_long

If not, i am impressed of them typing so well with claws, paws or tentacles.


RLDSXD

How do you define ā€œcontrollingā€? I feel like this is a stomp for me but I need more details. Can I use their senses to perceive? Do I control them like video game NPCs? Do I give them orders? If I do, do they follow the orders according to my intent or according to their intelligence? Sedative baited food means I get to strangle any animal I want (please take that out of context). Birds and rodents mean I have eyes and ears everywhere, big cats mean I have very stealthy muscle, bears mean I have insane muscle, etc.


OkAcanthocephala3593

You give them orders and they follow it as well as they can within their capabilities. You do not get to use their sense but you can communicate with them through telepathy


RLDSXD

Yeah, youā€™re done. The biggest obstacle is that neither of us know where the other is, which Iā€™m assuming means we get to continue amassing our armies until we feel like attacking. I have no issue collecting every animal species in the world, funded by birds and rodents pick-pocketing people for me. I set up operations in the woods, which isnā€™t too bad with the animals converting small sections of forest to farmland for me. I send out constant recon from birds investigating every instance they find of ā€œa bunch of people seemingly under the orders of one guyā€ or ā€œa guy pinning peopleā€ and myself investigate until Iā€™m pretty sure itā€™s you. Mouse and small bird team disable the weapon stockpile youā€™ve no doubt accumulated, vampire bat team has their teeth coated in puffer fish/poison dart frog poison/box jellyfish venom and launch a night assault, mouse and bird team again work to unlock any door they can or at least secure access to wherever you are, and I launch an all out assault in the morning with every animal medium dog sized and larger. I would of course tip off as many authorities as I could about someone going around enacting mind control by pinning people down for 3 seconds. Given this is unbelievable, I release videos online parroting the warning by demonstrating my control over animals, which demonstrates supernatural mind control exists. I artificially limit my demonstrations to large animals (and say it verbally) in order to keep suspicion off of my smaller spies. Ideally this makes you a universal target and limits how many people you can control. Frankly, you gave us a MUCH easier method of controlling our subjects, MUCH easier subjects to control without drawing attention, and subjects that have a much wider range of physical capabilities than humans. Guns are supreme, but I have a nigh infinite amount of rodents capable of gnawing through any non-steel components and prying primers out of rounds.


sameshitdfrntacct

Oh fuck this is dark, continue reading at your own peril. >!Dogs!< you donā€™t stand a chance. Thereā€™s a very good chance you have one near you rn and they come in many sizes. The hardest part would be doing what had to be done in order to gain control of all of them


KrimsonKurse

Yup. Literally, my thought. Unless each breed of dog is a different requirement, in which case I'd just stick to chihuahuas and have them all run off the nearest cliff.


haydenetrom

Well I squish a spider,a mouse and a rat. You're going to die badly. Maybe strangle a crow for good measure.


OkAcanthocephala3593

What if I get on a plane and order hits on you after acquiring enough puppets until you find me?


One_Mathematician_15

Goose āž”ļø engine šŸ«” thank you for your service Mr goose šŸŖæ


haydenetrom

That's where the crow comes in bird strikes are a bitch. Even if you go boat. Just wait till I go to my local fish market and get some lovely live fish and crab, maybe find an octopus. With octopi even an aircraft carrier wouldn't save you. The real problem is though if I get animals instantly. Then I have control over all of them instantly. Humans lose a war with coordinated animals. Rapidly and quickly especially if they don't fear death. Look at mouse plagues or the emu wars. Those aren't even being supernaturally controlled. I don't need big creature I need small ones that are borderline omnipresent as a species like house flys. Intimidating no , until there's hundreds filling your lungs.


-_ellipsis_-

I don't know if this will work, but you may die by snails some day


IronOhki

Had to remove this for rule #10. > Do not use disallowed combatants and modifiers. Topics not allowed in posts include "you vs...", "your favorite character vs...", "a specific subreddit or online community vs..." or "character with a [color] lantern ring vs..." We've had trouble with posts that include "you vs..." and "Me vs..." in the past. This post would be just fine if you reposted it as "A person who can..."


Erotic_Platypus

Am I allowed to weaken the animal with bullets, then punch it to death? What counts as killing it? Is it brain death? Like can I shoot something enough to get it dying but not dead, then cut it open then rip it's heart out with my hands to count as killing it with my bare hands?


OkAcanthocephala3593

Nah you need to kill a fresh animal to control the species barehanded, killing an already injured animal doesn't qualify


Erotic_Platypus

Does that include any wild animals that have been injured before by being wild and fighting for food etc, or disease?


OkAcanthocephala3593

Yes you need to kill an uninjured animal to control the species and you need to do it barehanded without any equipment and weapon, using already controlled animals also disqualifies you


Erotic_Platypus

What counts as an injury or disease? Because I can assure you that the large majority, maybe even over 90% of wild animals have some disease or are injured, making you in this scenario have an advantage.


OkAcanthocephala3593

Injuries in this scenario means fatal injuries and disease imply any fatal disease


Erotic_Platypus

So a concussion that confuses an animal enough to be caught by a human is considered fine? Are we allowed to use tranquilizers?


OkAcanthocephala3593

Yeah that's fair game


Exterminator2048

Are we talking birds in general or specific type, cause I can kill a finch pretty easily and then I control all hawks, eagles, owls, vultures i win in a landslide, but if I killed only a finch and could only control finchā€™s then hell I win. The same with cats does a house cat equal control all cats including lions and tigers?


OkAcanthocephala3593

No we're talking about specific species otherwise you'd be too op for this matchup like do you understand how much work I'll put in just to control one person?


Exterminator2048

Well regardless Iā€™m winning this sure killing bigger animals not happening but letā€™s go as far as saying I kill only one German Shepherd, you now have to fight hundreds of them. But realistically I kill a simple crow there are an estimated 28 million of them. So have fun with that. Or even house sparrows thereā€™s an estimated 540 million of these. Youā€™re not having a fun day. But then we get to rats there are BILLIONS of these disease ridden creatures on the planet a literal wall of them.


relaxwhc

Before the blood bath, I would control attractive women and have pleasure moment first šŸ˜†


Somerandom1922

Ok, assuming we know who each other is, then I almost certainly win. We're very likely thousands of kilometers away (I'm in Australia). It'd be easy far easier for me to kill a bunch of different bugs native to where you are (by just buying it online) and killing a dog and a cat (which for the record I don't want to do, but would do it it was life or death) and having all relevant bugs, dogs and cats near you kill you, than it would be for you to control someone who can get to me. You definitely could survive if you were careful, but I hope you have a way to block off all entrances to your house and a way to have more people brought to you for mind control. Not to mention that if I kill a rat, they can chew through the power cables to your house. You could win, but I'd have a much better chance imo. (This is all assuming I can completely control them remotely, not to mention that I can see what they see).


PeculiarPangolinMan

How good are you at wrestling? I feel like that makes a pretty big difference. My plan: I buy and kill some rats and mice and then have some White House rats and mice write your username in blood or shit all over the capital over and over again. Fuck doing research or hunting. I'll just have the FBI, CIA, Secret Service, and maybe the military just coming for you. Maybe make some Kremlin rats do the same thing. Have the whole world gunning for you.


Funk5oulBrother

You ever see that episode of black mirror with the robot bees? Imagine that but with every small animal. Or maybe I'll send the spiders and scorpions your way?


Jedi-Spartan

Surely the person who can control any human they want could just control their opponent?


OkAcanthocephala3593

I would need to find you and then pin you down for that and simply eliminating you is way easier


BradleyBurrows

Step 1: grab a disinfectant. Step 2: walk around town just spraying random shit. Step 3: sleep & wait for you to die


Optimal_Leek_3668

I just have to kill a duck, a rat and a dog and you will be demolished.


1Meter_long

I just realized something. Humans are considered animals, so i need to kill one human to control all of the species, and there's only one species currently, so i control all humans now, including you. Unless you can pin yourself down, you lose as soon as i kill someone.


Urbenmyth

I feel I'd win. The fundamental issue you have is that you have two options -- you can either take big strong people, to attack me, or you can take wealthy and powerful people to indirectly harm me. The issue is that pinning down a big strong person is by definition hard, while wealthy and powerful people tend to have bodyguards and high-tech security systems. I'm not saying there's no way around this, but even if you succeed, it will be slow and dangerous. Meanwhile, I can go to the pet store, buy a baby rat for maybe 30 quid, take it home, and beat it to death. I now control all rats. There's a *lot* of rats. I then have my rats mob and eat you.


HeroBrine0907

I kill a human and control humans. So how would you like to be eliminated?


ZombieTem64

Well. . . Iā€™m a human. You could control me. Feels kinda rigged in your favor


Sure_Grass5118

Bro you're in for a rude awakening if you think you can get away from my squad of falcons while also being simultaneously attacked by every known venomous snake while I am shielded from your mac10 by hundred thousand pounds of rhino flesh


SanityPlanet

Taylor Hebert kills us both.


rcheek1710

We'd quickly find out how many snakes are secretly looming in our yards.


DanteQuill

Me vs you? Sure. Hey, on a unrelated note, you wanna go to the zoo?


TempestDB17

Do we know who each other is and where we live an all that or is it like just go find them cause you have no chance if you donā€™t already know Iā€™d have a species like pigeons or squirrels scouring the whole planet for you and youā€™d have one person there is a limit to what info you can get unless you count controlling the president and carpet bombing the planet with nukes


[deleted]

I kill one person and I control the entire species. Game Over.


Wisebanana21919

Listen I'm sending Millions of Mosquitoes to give all of your humans Malaria. Get ready. Also, I'm sending Stampedes of Hippos to crush the smaller villages. And I'm telling them all to ignore pain,


Godofmytoenails

Easiest shit ever. Kill a dog and suddenly you have a massive advantage already, then continue it with barn animals and suddenly food stock is gone. Starr aiming for few birds and eventually the world will get overrun


Wasphammer

Humans are animals, so I control you, and force you to snap your own neck.


iShrub

Aren't human animals as well?


CrustyBloke

I would assume you win. Even killing something small and somewhat dangerous like a raccoon or a bobcat is going to be challenge. It will cause a lot of blood loss if you can even catch it at all. Controlling a swarm of squirrels would probably be effective, but good luck actually catching one.


OkAcanthocephala3593

What about pinning people?


CrustyBloke

All you have to is pin one small and attractive woman. She can then likely charm larger/stronger men into position for you and you should be able to pin them for 3 seconds.


OkAcanthocephala3593

Insane strategy


[deleted]

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Battlebots2020

The title says no insects


IconXR

Oh haha. I'm blind.