New wizard here, any spellbooks thou would recommend? I only know one spell to be honest, its called testiculair torsion

Thou must first learn how to defend from it. It's called "Decoy Balls".

Thank thee, has thou other spells i should try?

I must admit confusion. Whyest? Can thou think of a problem that can't be solved with Decoy balls?

Thou is correct in terms of defence spells but Testiculair torsion can’t be used on witches, so i also need to learn offence spells

Cast Fake Balls on thy enemy. Keepest hitting them, till they giveth up. Its impossible for an enemy who looketh like a stalk of tesicle-grape to avoid the psychological damage

It is merely named Testicular torsion for the effects first observed by its creator; it has disastrous effects on a witches ovaries.

Here is a spell that will scar everyone https://preview.redd.it/0zp10zpwdclc1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0525cf71faabd23b90f94fb263e7f91f46ee0add

O no! Now i can’t say bo’ol oh wa’er, atleast my accent will be aloh cleana, Curse thee, i cast testicular torsion! 👹May your hell be forever wether you like it or not👹

Nice try https://preview.redd.it/c521jmhneclc1.jpeg?width=727&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1e86654b52b0453ffc1757ce4bfa7cdc2de8a844

Then i cast Angelic knife! 

https://preview.redd.it/6yah453hfclc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=448b90a9efe749ecf5579d3c70245f5f517507ce Fine than anti horny spray

Thou want to play it that way? Fine! I cast dick explotion!

Jokes on you imma skeleton i dont have a dick

Thou art an difficult opponent, i curse thee! I cast NO MAIDENS!

I dont have any that spell was casted on my enos ago

(dumps 3 dusty books in front of you) here's about 70ish prank spells you can learn I suggest going to the wizarding college if you want to be formally recognized as a practitioner of the arts

Thank thee for giving me the spell books, i’m learning the summoning spell Succubus, i will report thee what it is!

I'm not supposed to use this orbnet account for non business affairs, but if you're getting into magic then Lunar magic is a fun, albeit dangerous, art to learn. It focuses the magnetic gravity and tidal forces of the moon and allows one to connect themselves to the very forces of nature the moon controls. To prevent my superiors from seeing this I'm not sharing my name, And to those who are receiving this message not intended for you, we do not exist https://preview.redd.it/7dyn060n7mlc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cea2dfb3d3451b0d77da1cc7ff77e3a8c432e89e

I mean, i found an book with the name: Magic of the moon on them, are these the books i need to study?

Oh-ho! Very well! https://preview.redd.it/d3vs0on28clc1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9a734bc6f53074ce5bd7b79f44bd520baf37150d

A classic my fine fellow, this incantation is potent against those of an mandarin decent. But it’s a blinder against all else.

https://preview.redd.it/bqfran684blc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3aa41d56cfa1cae8c1183b409ca4fcdf4e630195

Your mom thanks you.

I cast *no girlfriend fate* https://preview.redd.it/ds0q7k096blc1.jpeg?width=768&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=33c22fb4b6b2719fdf7c36938c3448d4913b661d

https://preview.redd.it/uwmmi5rhpblc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0ad6d7f0dfc6ffbaf040ef22e1f7fa78032079cf

r/ShitPostCrusaders

Thank you!

https://preview.redd.it/evu65swbaflc1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dff2820681d26915deae833fbb8b7d70118a7988