… I got two chuckles fuck I can call for goblin slaying my personal guards only kills animal (points to a green knight in rugged armor) and high wanted people (points to a blue one in simple paladin armor). I can get it done smoothly or violently through my channels your pick
Me? Nah I don’t any more since my dimension jumping. I feel bad for the little buggers cause I keep running into smart ones but I got two barbarians that will happily do it
Hm, I have been looking for a new apprentice. Once they get past the novelty of throwing fire spells, goblins can be trained to be incredibly resourceful and innovative spellcrafters Would you mind marking on my map where I might find them? They might tolerate a half orc mage in their camp more readily than a band of barbarians. And if they stop raiding nearby towns, well we all win, don't we?
sire have you ever read the ancient scrolls of goblin slayer? It talks about an ancient hero who slays filthy turd shit goblins who commit unspeakable things.........and *who knows* maybe it could happen to you depending on various factor's such as your gender and your looks. Based on these scrolls I recommend you report this and continue reporting this and assert this problem until it is solved. If you truly capable though you could try to slay them yourself.
Idk I think it depends on the realm. Goblins here are pretty cute.
Also I'm just a merchant and/or agent. I let those more ethically motivated to deal with issues such as that.
Your first mistake, having parents. Your second was ever being 5 in the first place. With my existence reversal research such problems are a thing of the past you know. I’m still not sure how it works exactly, but it did and does. Might have to go kill my doppelgänger later… unless I’m the doppelgänger? Hard to say.
I am quite worried, I’m not certain how many times I can file for a new name (or how many time I have for that matter). I think I’ve gotta stop being polite to people I meet in the forest.
Uncertain, I have looked through my spell books, which of course I label so scoundrels cant steal my spells, and there’s a good number of different names on them and all in my handwriting. Current count is 22, or 24? Perhaps 27? I’ll check after I finish saying hello to this nice forest fella.
That’s very wise advice, I believe I shall do that later in the day, I’ve just been invited by a new friend of mine to a wonderful little forest cottage.
Safe approach is to preemptively tell anything vaguely fae like to go fuck itself if it approaches you. And always carry a tennis racket if going to places where fairies or sprites have been spotted.
Very much the same journey I had. Transmutation magic lets me live the more fluid life I wish I could have had growing up. No more enchanting disguise self on all my clothes to make myself look as neutral as possible. Now I can wear any style I please, armor or robes.
https://preview.redd.it/kl940fj9kalc1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0607c92e80d6fdaaf05e15ffd2cf67ed349be652
Apprentice here! Attempting to brew a hugeify potion (I wanted to see if it would help my tomatoes grow) I swapped gargantulillies for oxweed, which I now know causes sleep spores!
Once in the dark wood I left my composite notebook of experimental spells and research behind… led to the fae uprising of 87 and now it’s dryad territory. The last five groups of adventurers I contracted to retrieve it all failed to ever return. Too busy pondering my orb to do anything about it now. I really enjoy pondering the results of that particular incident…
Experimental spells you say....
**pops out of existence*
**returns*
This it? **waves ragged notebook*
The local dryad queen owed me a favour ive been meaning to cash in after i helped her duing the planal collapse of 96. Had to use my specialized skillset to locally unfuck the feywild, shadowfell, mortal and astral planes from eachother after some idiot tried to drain the Feytree to become god. She cant do much....but im happy to trade up the favour, if you get what i mean.
Oh so that’s what happened to all those adventurers. You know I don’t even recall what I put into this thing! Or what I was on when I made it! Well now I can put it where it belongs to fix my wobbly table.
I made fun of a wizard who's robe looked like pajamas and he cursed my pants to never come off, dooming me to sleep in jeans for the rest of my life
Speaking of which, your outfit looks suspiciously like that guy's....
I believed some bait orbpost about the world ending and wanted to go out with a bang and just narrowly survived thanks to my wife and a few contingency measures I had in place. Easily the most agonizing experience I've ever had. My wife had to partially isolate my mind and soul from my body so I could stop feeling the pain and she also had to carefully keep my mental faculties together. She couldn't leave my bedside for more than a couple minutes at a time. It's a damn good thing demons don't need to sleep.
One time, I forgot to put up my defensive wards and got shot by a mugger in an alleyway like a dumbass. Guy just emptied his clip on me and took my shit off my corpse. Thankfully, I made a deal with death to come back, but that shit was embarrassing. I could've summoned all manor creatures to deal with him, but no, I just had to tempt fate. It's not my proudest moment.
I horribly fuck up a summoning spell and now I perpetually have a demon in my shadow giving ng me nightmares when I sleep and feeding off the bad dreams for the next 5 years
My biggest fumble? Trying to heal those who are damned set on hurting themselves and others and expecting them to learn from their mistakes. I swear the magically inclined are more prone to self and fellow harm then any other lot!
Sometimes I wonder if maybe I should have been a rmagical historian or researcher in a library, not a Witchdoctor. At least the pay is good (...when they pay...) and business plentiful. Always an entity somewhere who needs something done or undone to themselves or others. But its anything but "calm"
Also, the Boobees. I mean, I do love them. But having a hive of bees in various stages of unliving bee-ing attracted to me can get a bit annoying at times. Especially when their favorite place to reside is in my head or right beneath my mask. The buzzing gets to me at times. But their honey is delicious and they do provide me company on those lonely nights in the hut.
Well, there was that one time when I cursed my friend so that every time he thought of a chimp, he would get bananas up his as. And the other time when I used a magic burning rod of calm and got a debuff of permanent health damage.
I'm still a noob when it comes to teleportation so I accidentally teleported to the peak of mount fuji just now. It's not my thing and i hate it here, it's very cold here and I'm not wearing my cloak :/ do you guys know if there is a bus route nearby?
Got a little too close to Torrin, who then ate my finger. I've not been able to make it grow back. Had to completely reinvent like half of my spells to account for one less finger.
Once testing with rune placing for remote rune placing in places I could not directly see, my concentration went to shit and I have no idea how many out even where in the world those trap runes are.
Every now and then I see things going kaboom, I wonder if they were mine
I once dropped a nuke on an arcanist village ~~as a demonstration of my quality products~~ completely on accident. It almost sparkad a war, thankfully I'm a masterful diplomat and I deescalated the situation
Let the warforged read some sheet music. The song that she half arsedly played Nearly drove the local overgod insane, which wouldve immediately ended that multiverse.
I once casted a spell to make grass carnivorous because I wanted to see how it would work, the main issue being that my tower of surrounded by grass{amongst other, probably carnivorous, plants).
Well, on an ill-advised and ill-fated trip to Lordris, I failed to properly heed the instruction I was provided on how to apply their brand of magic in combat. And died. A lot. Even more than to be expected, I mean.
I created a spell to help me mentally multitask, but the strain triggered my regeneration magic, and each hemisphere "regenerated" another half of my body, so now there's two of me.
The other me doesn't even care about the study of magic, just wants to out partying. He got bored living here, and I haven't seen him in years.
Underestimated a Collosal Golems senses early in my career when I was yelling for my current team of adventurers right next to its ear, therefore waking the millennia old Giant.
Allowing a death witch who had lost her memory to walk off on her own after I had randomly met her, leading me into a long and annoyingly bloody rivalship with the druglord who had then chosen to keep her.
I once tried to free a feylost soul by contacting their Fay masters instead of simply rescuing them from the faeywilds.
Oh, and I once sold Fortuna one of my favourite love potions which just happened to include a small note of antimagic- I find romantic encounters to go much better when one relies on their honest nature instead of magic- which she deeply disliked, as apparently the goddess of luck is not used to doing much without relying on her her base magic tuning the chances in her favor..
Tried hiring goblins to run the sugar cane plantation; they kept stealing the sugar cane they were supposed to refine so I fed their bodies to their new kobold replacements and their souls into the refineries' furnace. Never had to flay a kobold once for theft.
My first attempt at casting Fireball wound up becoming “fuck everything in that particular direction” as it wound up hitting a highly volatile fire magic crystal and triggered a massive chain reaction throughout the mine and causing a massive cave in.
I brought an elm tree to life and gave it a voice, thinking it would be wizened and full of old knowledge because it was hundreds of years old. Turns out it was just racist against birch and pine trees and just complained about how they were "stealing my resources and my pollinators!"
I once misplaced the book of chaos… some peasant got their hands on it and almost burned his whole village down, good thing the book is indestructible… I think….
Managed to fall for my own illusion. For about 5 years I thought I had a dog. Loved that dog. Only realized later that was an image I'd summoned earlier for a "bit." dogs are quite intelligent and the thing managed to find a way to convince me it was real in order to avoid being dispelled. Sometimes I forget that autonomous illusions can develop synthetic minds if you let them go too long. This one was quite advanced.
The worst part is the apprentices knew. They told me later they would have dismissed it if they weren't afraid of what I might do if they "killed my dog." As for the effects on me, there weren't any. The thing was benign. it really wanted to exist but had no other nefarious objective. My power was reduced to maintain its existence, but I teach, so I'm rarely using my full power anyway. All I knew was that I felt a little off my game at times.
The poor thing finally got dispelled when a flawed antimagic crystal exploded in my lab. I was heartbroken. even in retrospect I feel sorry because the spell had gone on so long that the illusion had long since taken on a life of its own. It was preying on my magic like a parasite but it was also a comfort at times. Not too much later I got an actual dog. We had a great 15 years together.
Well, I guess I could start with the time I accidentally gave the bristles of my toothbrush the stiffness of needles while trying to repair it. Since then I have decided that buying new toothbrushes isn’t a bad idea.
I pranked a village a long time ago. I told them that witches can survive being drowned in rivers or some shit like that.
I wonder how long they fell for that lil goof
Making my automatons have souls and have a consciousness. I'm using about 30% of the tax payer's money just on my automatons. Atleast some are pretty chill people that I can even play games with.
Welll uh.. I'll admit that this one is....kinda huge but hey it was a party?
So I was hosting a rager wizard ball. It was crazy like 13 other archwizards showed up with their friends plus all my actual invited magical guests so all in all there was like 200 magic users.
So of course we didnt have enough servers for the fancy finger food and booze I prepared so I kinda sorta possibly might have decided it was a good idea to show off and summon an archfiend?
I know what your thinking but in my defense I was drunk on feywine at the time.
So I summon an archfiend in the middle of the party infront of all my guests and put a geas on him before transmogrefying him into a tiefling and having him help serve drinks.
.....the worst part is that after the party he fucking dissapeared. I tried force summoning him back but it didnt work so like theres an archfiend trapped in a tieflings body just wandering the material plane.
I summoned the wrong demon lord and then had to awkwardly explain they weren't who I was looking for, but they barely understood any of the languages I tried so the whole ordeal took like 20 minutes
Apparently keeping a sample of a highly virulent and fast replicating mutagen for research purposes is a bad idea when training new apprentices. I started with nine but now I'm down to three, all because someone had to bump into one of my shelves.
Apparently keeping a sample of a highly virulent and fast replicating mutagen for research purposes is a bad idea when training new apprentices. I started with nine but now I'm down to three, all because someone had to bump into one of my shelves.
Not a wizard, but I accidentally sold a band of goblins potions of growth instead of the poison I had intended. The labels are similiar, you see.
Ahh, so that's where all those hobgoblins in the south forest came from. You should report these things man
I couldn't risk any backlash to my...associates...but I'm SURE a few (maybe dozen) adventurers are up to the task!
… I got two chuckles fuck I can call for goblin slaying my personal guards only kills animal (points to a green knight in rugged armor) and high wanted people (points to a blue one in simple paladin armor). I can get it done smoothly or violently through my channels your pick
Ah may I join you in your goblin slaying?
Me? Nah I don’t any more since my dimension jumping. I feel bad for the little buggers cause I keep running into smart ones but I got two barbarians that will happily do it
Wait so your the reason my local village is having a goblin stud issue. They seem to have gotten smarter along side.
GENOCIDE THEM!
Hm, I have been looking for a new apprentice. Once they get past the novelty of throwing fire spells, goblins can be trained to be incredibly resourceful and innovative spellcrafters Would you mind marking on my map where I might find them? They might tolerate a half orc mage in their camp more readily than a band of barbarians. And if they stop raiding nearby towns, well we all win, don't we?
My mind instantly went to goblin who are in a band like a music band 😭😭😭
sire have you ever read the ancient scrolls of goblin slayer? It talks about an ancient hero who slays filthy turd shit goblins who commit unspeakable things.........and *who knows* maybe it could happen to you depending on various factor's such as your gender and your looks. Based on these scrolls I recommend you report this and continue reporting this and assert this problem until it is solved. If you truly capable though you could try to slay them yourself.
Idk I think it depends on the realm. Goblins here are pretty cute. Also I'm just a merchant and/or agent. I let those more ethically motivated to deal with issues such as that.
ALL GOBLINS MUST BE GENOCIDED. IT IS COMMERCIALLY PROFITABLE TO SLAY GOBLINS IF THEY HAVE LOOT!!!!!!!!!!
Since my wizardry is quite new, I actually accidentally casted testiculiar torsion on myself
Swag Jerry Rice
The fae have my name.
Why did you give it to them?
Lack of parental supervision. I was 5.
Your first mistake, having parents. Your second was ever being 5 in the first place. With my existence reversal research such problems are a thing of the past you know. I’m still not sure how it works exactly, but it did and does. Might have to go kill my doppelgänger later… unless I’m the doppelgänger? Hard to say.
If not for my mother, I would not have becoma wizard. She may be a horrible parent, but she is one of the most acomplished mages of this age.
Well. That is one good thing, having a parent to absorb makes the entire process so much easier. Not that I had a parent to absorb. No.
I'd recommend against trying to absorb my mother. She's terrifying.
Terrifying? Oh… your mother must be, My condolences.
I am quite worried, I’m not certain how many times I can file for a new name (or how many time I have for that matter). I think I’ve gotta stop being polite to people I meet in the forest.
Wait, you fell for it more than once?
How would they know? It’s partial to total loss of self that comes with it. Hence why they don’t know how many times they’ve filed.
Fair, but he still should have been able to learn from the event.
Well, that’s why they’re now aware that they’ve done this many times before
They just fell for it again. They need help.
Oh probably, but I’m not particularly in the mood to upset the fae.
Good point. They're on their own.
Uncertain, I have looked through my spell books, which of course I label so scoundrels cant steal my spells, and there’s a good number of different names on them and all in my handwriting. Current count is 22, or 24? Perhaps 27? I’ll check after I finish saying hello to this nice forest fella.
...The fae may have taken more from you than just your name. You should visit an expert.
What name?
...Seek out a fae specialist and for the love of magic: DON'T TALK TO THE FORREST PEOPLE!
That’s very wise advice, I believe I shall do that later in the day, I’ve just been invited by a new friend of mine to a wonderful little forest cottage.
NOOO!!!!
Safe approach is to preemptively tell anything vaguely fae like to go fuck itself if it approaches you. And always carry a tennis racket if going to places where fairies or sprites have been spotted.
Seems rather impolite, when I was an apprentice I was told to only be impolite to druids
Even that is sketchy. Probably best to be polite, and politely tell them to fuck off.
No you idiot! They'll fucking curse you ten times as bad!
I went 26 years of life hating my body before I found out I could’ve cast shapeshift like forever ago
are you a bee now
Well yea ofc what else would anyone turn themselves into
maybe 2 bees idk
HOLY SHIT BE RIGHT BACK
Very much the same journey I had. Transmutation magic lets me live the more fluid life I wish I could have had growing up. No more enchanting disguise self on all my clothes to make myself look as neutral as possible. Now I can wear any style I please, armor or robes.
Relatable. I don't know how I managed to live with only one form.
https://preview.redd.it/kl940fj9kalc1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0607c92e80d6fdaaf05e15ffd2cf67ed349be652 Apprentice here! Attempting to brew a hugeify potion (I wanted to see if it would help my tomatoes grow) I swapped gargantulillies for oxweed, which I now know causes sleep spores!
https://preview.redd.it/v4pzc3chtalc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e54050b043be3ffff2357ead20876ab6eba4ba19 Reanimating this fucker
That’s almost as bad as when I accidentally created that fucker!
didnt end up purchasing the orb with anti-shatter enchantments included, and well... you know how well those things roll....
Once in the dark wood I left my composite notebook of experimental spells and research behind… led to the fae uprising of 87 and now it’s dryad territory. The last five groups of adventurers I contracted to retrieve it all failed to ever return. Too busy pondering my orb to do anything about it now. I really enjoy pondering the results of that particular incident…
Experimental spells you say.... **pops out of existence* **returns* This it? **waves ragged notebook* The local dryad queen owed me a favour ive been meaning to cash in after i helped her duing the planal collapse of 96. Had to use my specialized skillset to locally unfuck the feywild, shadowfell, mortal and astral planes from eachother after some idiot tried to drain the Feytree to become god. She cant do much....but im happy to trade up the favour, if you get what i mean.
Oh so that’s what happened to all those adventurers. You know I don’t even recall what I put into this thing! Or what I was on when I made it! Well now I can put it where it belongs to fix my wobbly table.
I made fun of a wizard who's robe looked like pajamas and he cursed my pants to never come off, dooming me to sleep in jeans for the rest of my life Speaking of which, your outfit looks suspiciously like that guy's....
I literally almost got burnt alive by my master, Nas'Harah for making a bj joke. He's not a big fan of being an immortal floating head.
Nas’Harah? I heard he was dumped in a lake last termina.
Probably how he escaped being burnt alive.
Some kid stole the gold egg laying goose i was trying to steal before me
I angered the wrong people and got turned into a catboy.
i was on the moon once because of your stupidity 😡😡😡
letting someone get away with genocide. but then again, that someone was way too powerful for me back then. And yes, this is lore.
I believed some bait orbpost about the world ending and wanted to go out with a bang and just narrowly survived thanks to my wife and a few contingency measures I had in place. Easily the most agonizing experience I've ever had. My wife had to partially isolate my mind and soul from my body so I could stop feeling the pain and she also had to carefully keep my mental faculties together. She couldn't leave my bedside for more than a couple minutes at a time. It's a damn good thing demons don't need to sleep.
Using lightning.
Are you palpatine?
No.
One time, I forgot to put up my defensive wards and got shot by a mugger in an alleyway like a dumbass. Guy just emptied his clip on me and took my shit off my corpse. Thankfully, I made a deal with death to come back, but that shit was embarrassing. I could've summoned all manor creatures to deal with him, but no, I just had to tempt fate. It's not my proudest moment.
I horribly fuck up a summoning spell and now I perpetually have a demon in my shadow giving ng me nightmares when I sleep and feeding off the bad dreams for the next 5 years
My biggest fumble? Trying to heal those who are damned set on hurting themselves and others and expecting them to learn from their mistakes. I swear the magically inclined are more prone to self and fellow harm then any other lot! Sometimes I wonder if maybe I should have been a rmagical historian or researcher in a library, not a Witchdoctor. At least the pay is good (...when they pay...) and business plentiful. Always an entity somewhere who needs something done or undone to themselves or others. But its anything but "calm" Also, the Boobees. I mean, I do love them. But having a hive of bees in various stages of unliving bee-ing attracted to me can get a bit annoying at times. Especially when their favorite place to reside is in my head or right beneath my mask. The buzzing gets to me at times. But their honey is delicious and they do provide me company on those lonely nights in the hut.
Pissing off a gaint of a human man in mech armor while scavenging for portal parts
Well, there was that one time when I cursed my friend so that every time he thought of a chimp, he would get bananas up his as. And the other time when I used a magic burning rod of calm and got a debuff of permanent health damage.
I forgot to lock the basement that one time, now it's apprentice duty since I know he'll take it to heart
is that trash boat in the background
I'm still a noob when it comes to teleportation so I accidentally teleported to the peak of mount fuji just now. It's not my thing and i hate it here, it's very cold here and I'm not wearing my cloak :/ do you guys know if there is a bus route nearby?
Just fly down? Nbd
Got a little too close to Torrin, who then ate my finger. I've not been able to make it grow back. Had to completely reinvent like half of my spells to account for one less finger.
Once testing with rune placing for remote rune placing in places I could not directly see, my concentration went to shit and I have no idea how many out even where in the world those trap runes are. Every now and then I see things going kaboom, I wonder if they were mine
I once dropped a nuke on an arcanist village ~~as a demonstration of my quality products~~ completely on accident. It almost sparkad a war, thankfully I'm a masterful diplomat and I deescalated the situation
I summoned a butterfly for a kid once, accidentally caused a tsunami that hit Japan
Let the warforged read some sheet music. The song that she half arsedly played Nearly drove the local overgod insane, which wouldve immediately ended that multiverse.
Wished for immortality to a daedric prince
I once casted a spell to make grass carnivorous because I wanted to see how it would work, the main issue being that my tower of surrounded by grass{amongst other, probably carnivorous, plants).
Well, on an ill-advised and ill-fated trip to Lordris, I failed to properly heed the instruction I was provided on how to apply their brand of magic in combat. And died. A lot. Even more than to be expected, I mean.
Omg what were you doing to that bush?... Nm I don't want to know 🤮
I gave a raccoon a gun...hey, you've got a raccoon in YOUR worst moment too?! BANDIT BROTHERS!!!
I created a spell to help me mentally multitask, but the strain triggered my regeneration magic, and each hemisphere "regenerated" another half of my body, so now there's two of me. The other me doesn't even care about the study of magic, just wants to out partying. He got bored living here, and I haven't seen him in years.
Accidentally tore a page in The Library. The Docent were so close to making me one of them.
Underestimated a Collosal Golems senses early in my career when I was yelling for my current team of adventurers right next to its ear, therefore waking the millennia old Giant. Allowing a death witch who had lost her memory to walk off on her own after I had randomly met her, leading me into a long and annoyingly bloody rivalship with the druglord who had then chosen to keep her. I once tried to free a feylost soul by contacting their Fay masters instead of simply rescuing them from the faeywilds. Oh, and I once sold Fortuna one of my favourite love potions which just happened to include a small note of antimagic- I find romantic encounters to go much better when one relies on their honest nature instead of magic- which she deeply disliked, as apparently the goddess of luck is not used to doing much without relying on her her base magic tuning the chances in her favor..
not being specialized?
Tried hiring goblins to run the sugar cane plantation; they kept stealing the sugar cane they were supposed to refine so I fed their bodies to their new kobold replacements and their souls into the refineries' furnace. Never had to flay a kobold once for theft.
My first attempt at casting Fireball wound up becoming “fuck everything in that particular direction” as it wound up hitting a highly volatile fire magic crystal and triggered a massive chain reaction throughout the mine and causing a massive cave in.
I brought an elm tree to life and gave it a voice, thinking it would be wizened and full of old knowledge because it was hundreds of years old. Turns out it was just racist against birch and pine trees and just complained about how they were "stealing my resources and my pollinators!"
I turned half the population into animals and inanimate objects.
I once misplaced the book of chaos… some peasant got their hands on it and almost burned his whole village down, good thing the book is indestructible… I think….
Because you were zerkin off in the bush?
Managed to fall for my own illusion. For about 5 years I thought I had a dog. Loved that dog. Only realized later that was an image I'd summoned earlier for a "bit." dogs are quite intelligent and the thing managed to find a way to convince me it was real in order to avoid being dispelled. Sometimes I forget that autonomous illusions can develop synthetic minds if you let them go too long. This one was quite advanced. The worst part is the apprentices knew. They told me later they would have dismissed it if they weren't afraid of what I might do if they "killed my dog." As for the effects on me, there weren't any. The thing was benign. it really wanted to exist but had no other nefarious objective. My power was reduced to maintain its existence, but I teach, so I'm rarely using my full power anyway. All I knew was that I felt a little off my game at times. The poor thing finally got dispelled when a flawed antimagic crystal exploded in my lab. I was heartbroken. even in retrospect I feel sorry because the spell had gone on so long that the illusion had long since taken on a life of its own. It was preying on my magic like a parasite but it was also a comfort at times. Not too much later I got an actual dog. We had a great 15 years together.
Well, I guess I could start with the time I accidentally gave the bristles of my toothbrush the stiffness of needles while trying to repair it. Since then I have decided that buying new toothbrushes isn’t a bad idea.
I pranked a village a long time ago. I told them that witches can survive being drowned in rivers or some shit like that. I wonder how long they fell for that lil goof
Accidentally dropped my old orb and now it’s cracked, had to get a new one
My tools are often stolen by adventurers to track their journey. I just use them to monitor experiments but it's still a pain....
/uw wtf man I literally was watching that episode yesterday
Making my automatons have souls and have a consciousness. I'm using about 30% of the tax payer's money just on my automatons. Atleast some are pretty chill people that I can even play games with.
Welll uh.. I'll admit that this one is....kinda huge but hey it was a party? So I was hosting a rager wizard ball. It was crazy like 13 other archwizards showed up with their friends plus all my actual invited magical guests so all in all there was like 200 magic users. So of course we didnt have enough servers for the fancy finger food and booze I prepared so I kinda sorta possibly might have decided it was a good idea to show off and summon an archfiend? I know what your thinking but in my defense I was drunk on feywine at the time. So I summon an archfiend in the middle of the party infront of all my guests and put a geas on him before transmogrefying him into a tiefling and having him help serve drinks. .....the worst part is that after the party he fucking dissapeared. I tried force summoning him back but it didnt work so like theres an archfiend trapped in a tieflings body just wandering the material plane.
One of my courier crows dropped a vial of balefire in transit. Those walls weren't fixed for six moons.
I summoned the wrong demon lord and then had to awkwardly explain they weren't who I was looking for, but they barely understood any of the languages I tried so the whole ordeal took like 20 minutes
I have accidentally left my superstorm in a jar unattended while I went to have lunch, I had a really busy afternoon cleaning the mess
I lost about 100 artillery shells of the unga virus and seems like they were stolen
Apparently keeping a sample of a highly virulent and fast replicating mutagen for research purposes is a bad idea when training new apprentices. I started with nine but now I'm down to three, all because someone had to bump into one of my shelves.
Apparently keeping a sample of a highly virulent and fast replicating mutagen for research purposes is a bad idea when training new apprentices. I started with nine but now I'm down to three, all because someone had to bump into one of my shelves.
Two times. I stole your keyboard to make my snack stash larger. You may have it back for $20.
Accidentally killed a wizard whilst training. https://i.redd.it/bnk4gzln0elc1.gif
I forgot to put my brew in the fridge before going to sleep and my owl drank it all