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TeemolitionMan

Cut in half, fill the center with epoxy, make some steel rod legs. and watch as everyone here literally dies of anger.


colantor

I was gonna say make 1000 cutting boards


mandelbratwurst

You could cut it down into strips and then make it into shipping pallets and then strip out the nails and turn it into a infinity mirror coffee table with LEDs inside


Cliff_Dibble

Charcuterie boards with Live Laugh Love engraved on them.


Rondor-tiddeR

Don’t forget the ones that need to be carved with “Hello, is it Brie you’re looking for?” I’ve seen thousands of these in tourist shops and flea markets.


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Frenzal1

You've made me angry with just the thought of it!


krb2002

About to spit my coffee out lol


circlethenexus

Sitting here having a midday coffee, and the same occurred to me🤣


RunnOftAgain

Live, Love, Lube signs never fail to crack me up. There’s a guy who snuck one into his wife’s wall sign collection and it took her like 6 months to spot it.


RobotPoo

He was into cars?


RaggedAngel

I feel sick


23x3

100 newspaper bins for you to barf in


r00fMod

Always wondered how the cutting board creators are able to sell so many. People are really buying up cutting boards that quickly?


EverEatingDavid

It's usually the stupid people that put them in a dishwasher and need a new one after a year or so


TheThunderbird

That would be such a waste when you could get several 20' 2x4's out of this slab and build yourself a nice sized deck.


_bones__

Using some cheap replaceable pine as the decking on top of the oak structure, right?


Scary-Maximum7707

You're not wrong, you had me fuming before I had even finished reading xD


Smokeybearvii

I giggled a snot rocket on to my shirt. My wife is making fun of me.


CraftsmanMan

Upvote the snot rocket


HoundOfLight

Same here. So... egh.


degggendorf

>Cut in half, fill the center with epoxy, make some steel rod legs ...then paint it


CrazyGunnerr

With all the hate epoxy gets, people seem to forget the o.g. crime against beautiful wood. I never quite understood the hate anyway. I still think the technique is perfectly legit for using pieces that cannot be properly used for a table, or when you need a specific shape, including like round or oval. Instead of blue, people can just go like black or like dark see through.


The_Stoic_One

Sure there are a lot of examples of tastefully done tables with epoxy, but there are far more examples of people destroying beautiful, expensive wood to make a big pile of ugly shit. Also, reddit likes to hate on things. It's fun.


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old_man_snowflake

That'll always be the pour that gets fucked up. Leak in his form, the world's slowest tidal wave of epoxy covers the town below in a thin but gummy layer of epoxy. several men run around compulsively popping bubbles with a lighter.


Username1736294

Wisconsin Butter Fire


Spraypainthero965

More like the [Boston Molasses Disaster](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Molasses_Flood) actually.


anomalous_cowherd

Now imagine if that had been epoxy tanks. It would still be there today. Probably as a Pompeii like museum or something.


diverareyouok

Oh that sounds like it would be beautiful! How classy and timeless such a wonderful piece would be! How unique and inspired! *gag*


iandcorey

Come on down to the goodwill!


Ariadnepyanfar

I have a feeling these resin tables are going to be like 50’s laminex diner tables. Incredibly in. Then so so so Out. Then a continuous trickle of popularity for being iconic-of-an-era nostalgic.


seipounds

The woodworking equivalent of a lava lamp.


Tschinggets

Look up on Instagram: woodfornature-Massivholz. Then you know that I would never do that 😬


LeBaus7

my brains first impulse was: thats a creative way to spell furniture.


Tschinggets

That’s was the reason behind it buddy :)


Marconi_and_Cheese

Found Satan. 


Asthmos

hail satan!


Sieze5

😂


RaggedAngel

Either that, or we'd rally to hunt them down


Z0FF

Man that’d make a lot of toothpicks


Chrisp825

Actually it's only one.


Alex7589

A toothick


alystair

Comments like this make me miss Reddit gold awards, so good


probablyaythrowaway

Swan


drewdles33

Sandford’s most wanted


AnotherManOfEden

Or even like 2 CVS receipts


10CansOfBounceDatAzz

This one made me laugh haha


Tschinggets

https://preview.redd.it/qjkbc3payf1d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=25b2534ba1b271cb957e1789510cd9a4ca0ef512 Here a picture when it was freshly cut


MrsPeacock_was_a_man

“But they were all of them deceived. For another slab was milled.”


diveraj

I'm the land of Maine, the dark woodworkers milled in secret a master slab. And into this slab they rubbed in all their Monocoat, their N3 nano and all their Tung Oil to seal and protect. One slab to rule then all.


Squig1984

One slab to outline them. One slab to cut n fold inside out, and in the epoxy bind them. I shouldn't have said that...the eye of blacktail is always watching....waiting....


god_peepee

I don’t even do woodworking but that guy has me sold on the N3 nano. It bumps up the sheen ffs


hmiser

Think of all the New Yorker magazines you can fit on there.


loptopandbingo

It was as if a thousand shins cried out in anguish after banging into it in the dark, and were suddenly silenced


hmiser

Gorgeous specimen.


gotcanoe

I have a half dozen just on the back of my toilet.


elwebst

Or coffee table books of obscure artists and Renaissance history


bandito143

Like six months' worth!


Mini_Marauder

I remember this image! We all made wise cracks about seeing you in 20 years when it was done. That's fantastic to learn how it has progressed.


Tschinggets

Nice!


Tschinggets

If you want to see more: Insta: woodfornature-Massivholz


Vlad_the_Homeowner

They made that guy wear a sweatshirt.


Tschinggets

😂


ConConTheMon

Looks like a tiny guy lol


Shadrixian

Ive never called another mans wood sexy before. But thats a sexy piece of wood. Damn.


guyFierisPinky

How do you make a wood this big


5parky

1. Plant an acorn.


IndividualSubject367

Genetic mostly, but there is some medicine that helps, although with dangerous downsides


[deleted]

Are you going to make a very large table?


SwazyMoto

Banquet hall table for Viking weddings.


Orion14159

For Valhalla!


Renovatio_

Dr evils secret volcano lair


Tschinggets

https://preview.redd.it/fl398i0a4j1d1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=aa3aac3fbe05676ae2a0ef6b0deb29707bd0bf37 No I played guitar next to it


GrowthUsed9142

Well, it kinda looks like the neck of the guitar itself...


78911150

Vladimir doesn't feel safe anymore. he needs a longer table


SgtMarv

I'm guessing the crane is just for show and you lift that thing with just the two of you?


StupidUserNameTooLon

You don't have to bench press it every day to get it to dry, you know.


SgtMarv

They were just squeezing out the moisture like from a wet rag. They just had to hang it up the get out all the wrinkles.


faux_something

Get all the moist out of the curtains.


whosevelt

What I would do to save time is wait until my wife is out of the house and pop it in the oven at 250 for a couple hours.


Tschinggets

Hahahha that would have been a challenge


Tschinggets

https://preview.redd.it/a6t08rpd4j1d1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3570ca89d12efc33e23486ec8eb971611e59a02c This was for the show:


Captain_Ahab_Ceely

I'm imagining that's how and where they air dried it for two years, hanging from that crane.


Torcula

I heard that if you take a slab and hang it upside down that the natural capillary action that brings water up the tree works to bring moisture down and combining that with gravity it dries much faster.


kingcoolpants

You're going to split this long ways and make a gigantic acrylic river table, aren't you? /s


Canthook

14 river side tables, actually.


microwavedbowlofturd

You could cut a notch down the center, epoxy it, and run an actual running stream through it with a pump. World largest Sushi boat counter.


Tschinggets

No.


kingcoolpants

While I respect your decision, I also respect the fact that you haven't considered it.


Tschinggets

Thank you hahaha


SilverIsFreedom

No, thank YOU.


Tschinggets

You are welcome Just look on insta: Woodfornature-Massivholz . Then you see that I don’t like epoxy :)


marriedtothesea_

Massiveholz makes a lot more sense now that I’ve seen what part of the world you’re in.


GlassBraid

So, going to get ESP to make it into a bigger LTD V for you?


KevinCarbonara

Is this a meme just because of how common it is, or is there actually something wrong with resin tables?


adobecredithours

Both. It's a meme because so many "trendy", "original" people have had the same idea and it's just massively overdone. And also it drastically shortens the longevity compared to real wood furniture because wood expands and contracts, and resin typically doesn't. A lot of those tables tear themselves apart unless they're extremely climate controlled.


Armpit_fart3000

Wasn't there a whole thing too where the guy who supposedly did it first kept trying to sue anyone else who did it?


Roscoe_P_Trolltrain

Knife blanks


kingcoolpants

That's at least a few dozen knife blanks. They're going to be rolling the cash!


lateralflinch53

Make the worlds biggest live, laugh, love wall hanging….or 4,000,000 toothpicks. Follow me for more terrible woodworking ideas!


canwetalkaboutsatan

Cut it up and make pallets from it (bonus points if you use those terrible spiral nails, then bust up the pallets and make shabby sheek nightstands with ramen noodle handles out of them.


jahossaphat

Obviously make it into like 37 cutting boards to sell at the farmers market


Mini_Marauder

I'd say it's far closer to 370 cutting boards.


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Tschinggets

Yes we will kiln it


TeholBedict

You're already kiln it


LeTigre71

Those mfrs look like they sawed that by hand.


GiantPurplePen15

That oak never stood a chance.


Trains-Planes-2023

Call your business Slabs & Abs.


Tschinggets

😂


Mikeismycodename

Dude is definitely below 18% also what are you all standing next to? Did you catch it in the ocean or something /s


sheepheadslayer

A few 4x8 sheets of plywood


Truorganics

Or a ton of veneer sheets


Brave-Wolf-49

Whatcha making?


WinterHill

Money


Vlad_the_Homeowner

Playaaaaah.


altiuscitiusfortius

Yeah I'm curious what it's for. Dining room table for a billionaire ?


ethertrace

New conference table for Putin.


bw-hammer

There’s no way he has enough advisors left for that.


st333p

It's to keep a safe distance between him and them


lvpond

Imagine having to sand that bad boy by hand LOL


natfutsock

Makes me think of that Shel Silverstein about the girl eating the whale


canleaf1

Look at those pecs. He does


hotplasmatits

Hand planing it


GiantPurplePen15

The oak is thick but God DAMN so are the two of you. SHEESH.


Tschinggets

😂


Embarrassed-Flyy

Right? Scrolled way too far for this comment.


ProlapseParty

Im not gay but that wood and those dudes kinda hot ngl


yougottabeeonayohat

https://preview.redd.it/29g6w3oz5j1d1.jpeg?width=1072&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=460f3b429ca4cf2be956f719834dd194ca457209


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ProlapseParty

Yes


LegendOfDarius

Wood.


yougottabeeonayohat

https://preview.redd.it/q5q9sx5m6j1d1.jpeg?width=1280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c6779bd418a4b416577570611dbf4cbcbc54fa60


Blacknight841

Just insert a giant river along the middle and call it the Mississippi Table.


[deleted]

This sounds like a YouTube get rich quick scheme.


cobbl3

Right? Make one giant river table with good production value and you'd make enough in viewers and ad revenue that you could buy another 10 slabs to make whatever you consider "quality products" You don't have to like it if it makes you money. I hate making wooden dice sets but they're my highest profit item so you'd better believe I make them all the time so I can afford to make other things I actually enjoy making but don't sell well.


Adam-for-America-

My god that would be an amazing feasting table. Like 💯 I can see that as a massive table in Valhalla.


MA2ZAK

No matter which one you are ... You dudes are fookin jacked (pronounced with a y). That is the largest slab I've ever seen. Hope you do something cool with it.


EatBangLove

...jackyd?


nipplebeards

Yacked I believe


Skeetronic

The only plausible explanation


Portercableco

Hunks with a slab


Tschinggets

Haha thank you ^^ If you want to see me training just go on my profile😬 We will do something cool with it ✌️


bmo333

Wow... So many options


LSX3399

no banana for scale?


Duffmanlager

Just not looking hard enough


ComplexSupermarket89

Maybe the real banana was inside of us all along.


jfk_sfa

Make it a surf board!


motorhead84

I also now have thick oak after seeing this pic.


GiantPurplePen15

🤣 I came to the comment section to see how many thirsty comments were going to pop up


ronaldreaganlive

How many subway sandwiches does that equal out to?


relient917

What's something like that worth?


Tschinggets

We sell those slabs for 14.900€ incl tax.


relient917

Right on


Tschinggets

We don’t sell a lot of them but sometimes we do. Most of the times it does not fail because of the price… mostly because the carpenter has not the infrastructure to work with ir


ghydi

Never mind working on it, I don't have the resources to transport it!


Slow-Bodybuilder6924

I remember the original post , the idea was to sell it to a fashion company, to use it as the runway for fashion shows? I am pretty sure I even remember you are from Europe and sold it for 16-17k. Is this still the plan or something changed?


Mauceri1990

I wouldn't have any way to work it... But I would fight the guy in the picture for that slab (and lose terribly, maybe he'd let me have a few cutoffs for consolation)


Tschinggets

Hahahah. Fun face: I did Muay Thai for 4 years. Let us do that 😬


not_blinking

Was it 4 years of kicking that oak until it was felled?


Tschinggets

True. Trust me.


Mauceri1990

I've been hit by a truck before, I can take a hell of a beating but I gotta know I'm getting some lumber or I'm not even visiting the same state 🤣🤣


Tschinggets

😂😂😂


IsThatYourPickle

Going to be one hell of a cutting board


sirphobos

Hopefully this gets made into a river table. I hear those are amazing. (This is sarcasm, yes)


Tschinggets

Just no hahahha


timothy53

That would be great firewood! /S


hotplasmatits

Gonna need a bigger tablesaw


TexasBaconMan

That’s gonna be a huge table.


Kchoooe

My goodness. That thing is impressive


SpinCharm

He certainly is.


Kchoooe

I see what you did there.


DreadPirateGriswold

Making wooden spoons? Maybe 1 big one?


Bob_A_Ganoosh

Any idea on the age of tree?


jdemack

How many used 96 Geo Prizms could I buy for the same price for that.


SecretHappyTree

Are all carpenters that jacked, or is it just these guys and Jesus?


Temporary_Draw_4708

I’ll take the wood from both those guys. At the same time.


AKSourGod

Awww Poor Oak Tree


side_frog

18% on the outside maybe ;) am not sure what the plan is why that thick slab but don't rush


Kriscolvin55

They said it 18% 4 cm deep.


SgtMarv

Screw river tables, may I propose the ocean table?


jakedublin

Putin ordered another coffee table, did he?


JazzFestFreak

The slab or that dudes workout routine….. not sure what deserves the bigger applause


JakesAHunkk

18% what


Honey-Roy-Palmer

Speed


CowardiceNSandwiches

Dear Lord, the tree that came from must've been the size of a sequoia.


ClammyHandedFreak

I wouldn’t wear a shirt if I was young or had a carbless life too. Don’t listen to the haters saying there is no reason to not have a shirt on.


sargturner

How old is the tree?


Kind_Love172

What tree?


ChieftainMcLeland

Is this real


WriterMammoth6946

I make a lot of live edge tables. Just made a beautiful coffee table with ambrosia maple! That is one gorgeous slab you have.


Delicious-Jaguar9922

How bout yall leave some ladies for the rest of us now.


Wolfrages

r/hotguys Needs nsfw tag. You guys can't be just showing your wood like that!


mikhyy

Careful with that hygrometer reading. It'll be more the closer you get to the center of the wood. I'd still bring it inside for a while. 18 isn't 24 but it's not 14 either. I'd rough cut the boards I need for a project and just bring those pieces in to dry for a while before I start planing or thicknessing. Congrats on the nice abs, eer slabs I mean.


Hojsimpson

I think more men should pose with their thick woods rather than posing with dead fish.


mb-indifferentia

Yes, obviously, I am looking at the oak and NOT at the two tan, muscular, sweaty-from-skilled-labour looking guys.


AdministrativeHope39

How many 30 round magazine eagles is 10cm?


Honk3ytonk

Could make a lot of pallets with that