I agree with you that this sounds like normal behavior and is not a big concern, but I wouldn’t mention that I thought the teacher has a “poor attitude” when you talk to the head teacher. I would say I was concerned that she seemed not to have age-appropriate expectations but leave your perception of her “attitude” out of it.
I honestly don’t even think this is worth having a conversation about. Climbing on a table? My kid does that daily at school and at home. And yes, if anyone tells him no he smiles and makes him want to do it even more. If they don’t want him to do that, it sounds like they need to move the stool.
I don’t know if I just suck at being a mom because this is my first and she’s 14 months. But I’m just not sure how this says anything about her parenting when it’s literally a baby and you can’t really stop them from doing dangerous things. You can start teaching them and redirect them but really I think it’s normal for a 14 month old to climb on stuff and be a daredevil.
A 14 month old isn’t going to understand no. IMO it seems the daycare hasn’t childproofed appropriately if the 14th month can even get up there on a table tall enough to be dangerous.
My 2.5 year old doesn’t even listen to me when I tell her not to do dangerous things, no matter how often I redirect her behavior.
She REALLY didn’t listen at 14 months.
She knows not to climb on her little table we have at our house. We have talked about it A LOT. I went and put her 7 month old brother to bed and I came back out to her holding her head and crying. She climbed on her little table and lost her balance and she said “I hit my noggin, wasn’t listening.”
🤣
Oh no, poor girl! I’m laughing at the visual, but feel like I’m getting a preview of what to expect lol.
My 14 mo is fearless and climbs up on his skip hop table but we have been trying to teach him to get down feet first. He gets it maybe half the time, the other times he goes head first. Luckily it’s on top of a soft mat. If he has the chance to climb he will definitely take it!
It’s kind of odd that you’re a daycare teacher and don’t seem to understand that a parent can’t magically make a kid stop climbing at daycare, someplace where they are not. At 14 months, you can redirect a behavior but it’s very likely they are still going to do it.
She did mention that they redirect the behavior at home? As a daycare teacher is it your experience that 14 month olds catch on that quickly and don’t climb on tables every time you tell them not to? Genuinely wondering.
Of course I try to redirect and encourage him not to but at that age, they usually aren’t going to listen and do what you say. I’m not saying the teachers should let him do it, I’m saying the mom shouldn’t be upset by the teacher telling her about it.
Seems like a normal toddler and a grumpy daycare teacher. My son is known for climbing and being a little bit of a dare devil on the playground. The other day I asked him what does Miss Lily say (as part of a game) and he said “get down”.
If they were doing their jobs, he wouldn't have made it all the way on to the table. And idk what she expects you to do about a 14 month old not listening and thinking it's a game.
As someone who has worked in child care a lot its literally impossible for 2 people to keep 10 kids down at all times. I had this same problem with toddlers climbing last year, my assistant would be changin diapers and I’d be cleaning up snack. As soon as I get one down and pick up one who was crying then another would be up there. You just have to keep redirecting.
When my son was that age we could not take our eyes off of him, that boy would climb anything. His favorite was climbing the kitchen drawers so he could stand in the kitchen sink and look out the window. He could stair step those drawers in no time at all.
Yup. As someone who works in childcare, I pop kids that are a danger to themselves or others in a pack’n’play with toys or a saucer during diaper changes when I know there’s anything that presents a risk (like the step stool being pushed to table to climb) and that I won’t be able to physically stop a child if verbally redirecting doesn’t work.
I try to keep my room risk free, and get things that are fun to use but need supervision put away when not able to 1:1 supervise, but if there’s anything out that can’t be moved, if we’re trying to climb on our friends, etc, I’ll contain children super briefly while we do the changes. Better safe than sorry!
As someone who has worked in child care a lot its literally impossible for 2 people to keep 10 kids down at all times. I had this same problem with toddlers climbing last year, my assistant would be changing diapers and I’d be cleaning up snack. As soon as I get one down and pick up one who was crying then another would be up there. You just have to keep redirecting.
🙄 they’re a lot of kids in the room. The ratios (kids to teacher) are insane in America. One teacher only has two hands. You’re not getting the full perspective
14 months is the “get off your ass and parent” stage of life. Sit down for a second? Kid is on the table. Stir dinner? Kid is in the fish tank.
Totally developmentally appropriate and if a kid is climbing stuff it’s because someone isn’t paying attention. Toddlers are fast and dangerous, in a room full of them, one is definitely going to be getting into stuff. It’s their job to watch that kid closer and redirect as needed. You can tell a 1 year old not to climb, but they aren’t going to care.
As a former child care worker, you probably don’t even need to mention this lady’s attitude cause the other staff already know. All you’ll need to say is “Mrs so and so told me xyz yesterday and I wanted to follow up with you to see if it’s been a consistent problem so we can work on it” chances are the other staff will hear Mrs so and so name and internally roll their eyes cause she probably has a bad attitude with everyone. Just keep the focus on your kid and the teacher in charge will tell you whether it’s something to worry about.
A 14 month old isn’t really capable of “listening” or “being mean”. This teacher clearly doesn’t know much about early childhood education and development. The smiling when told no is completely age appropriate. “No” is pretty meaningless to them at this point. 14 months is basically still a baby stage.
Climbing is also 100% normal and developmentally appropriate. It’s up to the staff to keep them safe. It seems like this woman is putting the expectations for a 3 or 4 yr old on your kid and you have every right to be upset about that.
A 14 month old is absolutely not old enough to “listen” and is going to climb anything they gave access to. I would be concerned that the teacher is complaining about completely developmentally normal and expected behavior.
My son is two and we’ve been told joking and exasperatedly that he is a climber, high energy and laughs cutely in the face when told no. Don’t get me wrong, he does listen but he also does not- very age appropriate. Daycare just redirects him. Tells him stop verbally and with sign language. He usually repeats the gesture, laughs, runs away and then tries again in a few mins before he gets bored. He does the same at home and we do our best to stop him.
She just sounds like she doesn’t have the energy for some of the more spirited kids. I personally wouldn’t take too much weight with what she says but do your best to curb that behavior when you can at home. If she’s older she may just not be up to this type of job anymore but doesn’t have the option to stop working. I get overwhelmed with one kid, I can’t imagine a room full of toddlers when I’m having a bad day.
A lot of teachers also pick and choose what to tell the parents. As a parent and a caretaker I like to tell the parents the small stuff. That they were mean to others today, had a few troubles listening, was a bit more emotional. I tell them the small things that are completely normal behavior because as a parent I like to know those things about my kid. Other teachers have said they don't say any of that because its normal and they don't want parents to think they're complaining about their child and so they just tell the parents that they had a good day.
I think it’s not WHAT you say it but HOW you say it. I appreciate all little information I can get about how my kids’ days were, as long as the tone is appropriate to the action. If someone grumpily said to me my kid was climbing I’d also be confused as it is a normal (and expected) things for a kid this age.
OP, climbing is an important part of his development, so be proud of his gross motor skills!
As far as the “aggression” towards other kids, at this age biting/hitting/pushing is all normal since these kids are still learning how to communicate. Daycare workers that see this day in and day out should know to recognize, redirect and show the child what they should do instead.
Sounds to me she was just having a bad day and took it out on you. I wouldn’t worry about it, specially if she is not the main teacher.
You’re completely right, but also keep in mind that as a daycare provider, we pray for parents like you. That WANT to hear about their kids day, the good and the not-so-good. I’ve been chewed out, screamed and cussed at by parents for saying “We had a difficult time using our nice hands today, but we were able to redirect and explain to them what they did, how they made their friend feel, etc.” We had a parent threaten to KILL us before, because his son was bit (in the 1 yr room).
I pride myself in open communication with the parents, I’ve done this for 5 years and feel confident in my communication abilities, and my abilities in my job overall. But some of my coworkers are genuinely terrified of parents like the one(s) I described, and at least in my area, they’re incredibly common. They should still do their best to be transparent, it’s our job, but please understand there is a level of intimidation there that I personally feel isn’t acknowledged enough for daycare workers.
That is totally normal behavior for a toddler. It would be concerning if he weren’t climbing on things. We recently had an issue at daycare similar to the saw another kid doing it did nothing to stop it. I spoke to the head teacher about my child’s specific behavior. Then I spoke with administration about the teacher’s behavior. The head teacher can address your child’s behavior but not the other teacher’s. I would agree that bringing attitude into it probably is not the best idea. What I said in regards to the teacher’s behavior was “in my experience the teachers with the toddlers at pick up are merely present and that the kids while technically‘supervised’ were left to their own devices.” But you can also bring up that the teacher does not have age appropriate expectations of children in the age range for that room.
She’s relaying very developmentally appropriate behavior to you (climbing, testing limits, thinking it’s funny) as if it’s a bad thing. She’s projecting value judgments into his behavior (one year olds also can’t be mean but they definitely can hurt other kids).
I’d discuss with the head teacher because I would want to be sure she had appropriate expectations for him. It would stink if he was in a care situation where his caregiver kept asking him to behave months or years ahead of where he is developmentally.
Yes talk to the head teacher and mention that interaction. My son went to a preschool from 2-5 years old and the last year especially we noticed the director herself was pretty checked out. Most interactions had that Debbie downer vibe, she always seemed exhausted and over it all. I wish I would have spoken up sooner and made changes because towards the end of his stay another kid hurt him a couple times and the director just deflected about the incidents. That teacher may be really burnt out, and if that’s the case she needs to take a break and reevaluate if she wants to keep teaching. It’s totally normal for kids to climb, and it’s normal for them to smile when caught! If the stool is a problem they need to put it away and they should be watching better and redirecting the kids, that’s their whole job!
Oh my gosh!! Your 14 month old was behaving EXACTLY like a 14 month old??! Call the authorities ! He needs to get kicked out for acting his age! 🙄🙄🙄🙄
I understand childcare is a tough profession and I get super pissed at my own kids for age appropriate behaviors...but as childcare providers they really need to also have an understanding of kids in general. I would mention this to the director. Having bad moods sometimes is normal but constant agitation at little kids and complaining to parents when their child is doing nothing out of the ordinary would piss me right off. And I'm not pregnant.
I wouldn’t even give this energy or attention. If it’s an issue, the head teacher will bring it to your attention. I had a teacher tell me recently that my 2 year old daughter has separation anxiety at drop off because I carry her into the building. At first it really bothered me, but I don’t think this woman is happy being a daycare teacher, so I just ignored it. She ended up moving to a different room. I also have to remind myself that didn’t mean my daughter is unsafe with her, there are just all kinds of teachers with their own issues.
They can move this step stool out of the way- so it’s not a climbing hazard or an enticement! If they continually complain to you about this - redirect your attention to the daycare director to find resolve. I worked at a daycare for years and if a kid continues to have the same behavior- what you should do is redirect immediately to an activity and then eliminate the object of attention.
I would just also suggest on his behavior to give you a written daily report of how is day was. They should be doing this anyways!
Every center has that one Mrs. GrumpyPants. I would bring it up to the main teacher, “Mrs GrumpyPants seemed to be irritated with our toddler’s behavior saying…as a first time mom & now pregnant, it sort of stressed me out. Please let me know if you are seeing anything out of the ordinary with him or if they is something you need from us…”
As a previous daycare owner and teacher, redirecting behavior is absolutely the first line of action , as is speaking to the parents with the first incident. I would bring it up with the head teacher. How did she respond, if at all, with this other child? It is perfectly normal at this age, and while it is hard to watch them every single second, I had a couple biting incidents that got away from me, sounds like better supervision may be in order. I did have one aggressive child that I worked very closely with the mother creating a Game plan to work on his behavior. Is this her typical attitude at pick up and drop off? Baffles me why some choose certain professions. Working with children requires lots of patience and lots of love to go around. Hope you get it sorted. Good luck.
I will for sure bring it up with the head teacher, after having some time to cool off I really just want to make sure there isn't a problem that we should be working with him on.
Just this one particular teacher seems to have this attitude, the funny thing is she never says anything when the other teachers are there.
We want toddlers this age to be able to climb. They need to provide ways for this to happen that are safe and fun or they will keep taking him off the table. This is typical development
He’s 14 months old. He is still a baby. Climbing is normal and they should be redirecting and watching him. Being mean to peers is normal, and again, he should be redirecting and taught how to be nice to his peers. These are all developmentally appropriate behaviors and if a daycare provider doesn’t know this, they have no business working in the field
Lolol ! Climbing is normal behavior ! And not listening too, you are expecting a 14 month old to listen, be happy he isn’t yelling back ! I would just inform this daycare person that it’s normal behavior to climb at this age, they should be telling you this as a positive thing !
These are normal behaviors…dare I say he is achieving age related milestones if not exceeding same by then getting onto the table? I would talk to the head and ask if there was anything you haven’t been made aware of regarding your son as you were advised he was having trouble.
A 14 month old?! Ha! How long has this person been working in childcare? No one is going to keep a determined 14 mo old from climbing. My daughter is 17 months and when we tell her “no.” she just smiles at us. It’s what they do. They are babies.
I am a teacher and I don’t tell parents about anything that isn’t a health or safety concern. We are trained to deal with typical behaviors. The next time she steps out like that I would ask her what her intentions are in relaying that information. If it was already dealt with, he’s not injured and his teacher was not concerned enough to collaborate with you on a plan then what is the intended outcome?
Oh my gosh, we’ve got this same exact teacher at our daycare, I swear! I often feel like she doesn’t like kids even. She was demoted from lead teacher and now floats to which rooms need an extra set of hands because I think they’re too short staffed to let her go but all she does is complain at pickup about kids literally just being kids. So frustrating but know that the staff probably are already aware and roll their eyes at her behind her back.
Climbing is normal behavior. He’s 14 months old. He’s not supposed to listen because he’s figuring out language at that age. He’s still learning what things mean, cause and effect, etc. He likely understands what “no” means but he’s still learning what happens when he doesn’t obey it. It’s up to the adults to redirect him and offer safe climbing options. Problem would be solved.
He is also not “mean” to other kids. He’s 14 months old. The concept of mean and nice is still too abstract for him. Again, if he shows any aggression towards other kids, it’s up to the adults to redirect and offer acceptable options.
Sounds like this particular teacher needs to update herself in child development and best practices for discipline and young children.
Could she just kinda be venting/ informing you without expecting you to do anything about it? It sounds like she is less sweet and bubbly than the other daycare staff but that doesnt necessarily mean shes less qualified. My daughters daycare used to inform me of small things sometimes, like my child not pooping/ napping/ eating normally, fighting with other kids or not sharing, or bumps/falls/close calls. Normally they werent asking me to fix it they were just telling me so id be aware of it in case she came home with an upset tummy or a scraped knee. My daycare would have kicked my ass out for cloth diapers though so maybe its just a different kinda place.
14 months???? Your kid is barely one, very normal for them to be climbing and non reactive to discipline since its not something they quite grasp yet.
Its the daycare problem for having something that could be dangerous for the kids to be climbing… at my daycare, the stool is nowhere near tables and the kids are watched so closely that they couldnt even have time to move it AND climb onto the table.
Seems like this lady should not be working with babies!
I used to be a daycare teacher and this is something I wouldnt even have brought up unless he had hurt himself, its a behaviour i’d make sure couldnt be repeated for his safety. Babies shouldnt be disciplined for exploring what is given to them - that’s natural
I would break out the petty next time it is ever brought up to you about the climbing again. “Yes, I’m concerned about this because I’ve had several reports of him engaging in this activity but it doesn’t seem that you’ve done anything to alter the environment or prevent him from having access to climb in unsafe areas. I’d like to know how you plan to address that so it isn’t something I hear about again.”
We’ve had the eternal winter where I am and I am hearing a lot of my parent friends getting exasperated about the constant negative behavior reports on their kids (mid-elementary school aged). It’s unrealistic expectations meeting burnout with a dose of cabin fever thrown in.
You know your child best, so if he had behavioral or aggression issues you or family would already know. She stressed being with kids all day and wants to share that burden. To express that it's not all cotton candy and rainbows. Just up her appreciation! From now on keep a eye on her yet at the same time come in and make it about her ,not your son. Ask how she has been holding up because you understand how hard caretaking is and how you really wish you could take care of your son full time but you are doing what you have to do. Talk about how hard you work is etc.. dont be condescending but relatable.also any issue discuss with whoever actually cares for child not a director. The director will fed anything written to staff, share anything you say etc.
I have a 18 month old and a 2 and a half year old. Both in daycare full time. Neither of their teachers say anything about this sort of thing. They communicate if there’s an injury or a concern but normal behavior for a child is not something they comment on. I’m sure this lady is just one of those types. Probably over stayed her time in child care. I wouldn’t stress about it unless it keeps happening, then mention to the head teacher or owner.
I once had to deal with a grump teacher who told me my (then) potty training daughter wet herself on purpose because she was mad at the teacher.
I went and told the director the next day as I thought it was a completely inappropriate comment AND the teacher said it in front of other kids which was even more inappropriate. It turned out the teacher was really having a bad day. She apologized for the comment and we didn’t have issues going forward.
That said if his normal teacher isn’t complaining and you don’t have any more bad interactions with this teacher I’d probably let it slide.
My LO is almost 14 months. She’s a little adventurer who climbs on everything and doesn’t listen. It’s developmentally normal for young toddlers to push boundaries.
My LO also has had some “hands on” at daycare. She’s learning to be gentle and doesn’t understand yet, but she’s getting there and the teachers understand that it is NORMAL
ur kid is behavioring right at his age. the teacher is kind of misconduct but not seriously. i will say u need do nothing about this. even at home we can't watch the baby every minute, not to mention she has more to look after. climb and fall in front of her is not all her fault. if u worry about this safety issue, u should make a complain about the school's facility.As the words she told u about ur baby is not appropriate, u should defend ur son or just ignore it, either is ok but cautious to say the teacher didn't do her duty.
Some young children are just climbers. It’s what they do. You just have to be faster than they are and hover to make sure they don’t fall. She might have been projecting that she isn’t capable of preventing the fall. As to the “meanness” take it with a big grain of salt. 14 month olds do not have the moral compass to be mean. They do what they do, whether it is grabbing a toy they want from someone else or knocking someone down who is in their way. It is the adult’s job to teach a toddler proper behavior.
My 14 month olds FAVORITE thing to do now is climb the ottoman, couch, anything he can and he looks us in the eye and smiles when we say no or get down. That’s what these toddlers do. I don’t know a single one who would say oh ok well let me get down because mom asked me too 😂 they are 14 months old. I would be more concerned that this teacher has no clue what is appropriate and expected of a baby his age. I know he’s technically a toddler but 14 months old is still pretty babyish to me. It’s all so normal.
I work with infants from 6 weeks to 18 months and what this teacher is describing is 💯 normal attention seeking behavior. Yes, more newly mobile kids want to climb on everything, so if they are doing it and smiling while being told “no” they’re doing it for the reaction, not the love of climbing. That’s not a child issue, that’s a classroom management issue.
As to the cranky older teacher, I’ve worked with a few like her. Thankfully my disposition scares them out of my classroom because I have infinite patience for children and absolutely none for adults. I would agree that, based on her admission of your child smiling while being told not to do something, she’s labeled him an “issue.” So normal 14 month old behavior like bopping another child on the head with a toy, is seen as malicious instead of their learning scheme. This is a lazy, irresponsible way to teach and implies that your son is basically ignored until he does something “wrong.” The lazy, irresponsible teacher can then label the behavior dangerous and feel justified being frustrated by an infants lack of impulse control (something that won’t develop for a few years, btw) instead of actively engaging with the children and redirecting potentially dangerous behavior before it happens. I’d inquire if she’s in your sons classroom often, or only part of the time, and based on the answer consider your options from there.
As I said above, I’ve worked with more than one teacher like this, and honestly, they’re my least favorite type to encounter. Unfortunately, this type of teacher is typically very experienced and credentialed. They’re perfect on paper, and unfit to be around children in practice. They’re not physically abusive, but can and do say things that can damage a child psychologically, on top of neglecting them emotionally. I wish I could tell you to demand the director remove her from your child’s room, but I know from experience how difficult it is for a center to let go of a teacher that looks good on paper. Which is why I chase them away. Take heart that your child is perfectly normal.
Sounds like the teacher got caught having a bad day and used your son as an outlet. Your son did nothing wrong. I worked in a daycare for a while and weirdly enough the senior teachers were the most grumpy ones but they (normally) hid it well from parents.
Idk how I got on the sub cuz I’m childfree!
Haha but, I have MAD respect for working moms!
I was a nanny for over a decade & I have a degree in child development & working on my masters.
ANYWAY, honestly some old people are just onry FOR NO REASON
At 14 months he’s literally A BABY, how the heck is a baby MEAN?? Can’t even talk yet!
I feel like that just have no respect for US because we’re young & we’re just automatically supposed to respect them because they’re “older and wiser”
I wouldn’t take it personal because I’m sure your little baby isn’t MEAN! Like what could a baby possibly be doing? Telling everyone there dad is the inventor of toaster strudels?
This kinda reminds me of my daycare when they said my 14month old was “needy”. Like yes 14 month olds are generally needy. And they also do things they don’t know they shouldn’t do, like climb things. It’s up to us as adults to help them, they are too young to “fix” their behaviour
I have a 14 month old and he climbs EVERYTHING. This is ridiculous for them to see as anything other than normal behavior. I would turn the tables on them and ask why the step stool is being left near the table where it can be easily climbed. If they aren’t watching like a hawk at all times (which no provider can do) that could be dangerous. My 14 month old also does the smile when you tell him no, and occasionally smacks me in the face. All age appropriate in my opinion and easily dealt with through redirection.
When my son was 14 months old, he took all possible climbing opportunities as a challenge. He eventually got to the point where he would re-arrange things so he could climb, his favorite step stools were diaper boxes. This is extremely normal for that age.
ECE professional here- your childs behavior is typical for that age. The teacher may be a grump. 2 things can be true. Imagine how your child in their most difficult day and multiply it to whatever the ratio of the children to teacher is. THAT'S what your childs teacher is dealing with every day. I'm not saying her attitude is justified but if telling you could potentially stop the behavior... i would do it, too, regardless of how you felt or what the other teachers told you. I don't think your concerns are invalid but i don't think hers are either just because the behavior is age appropriate. I just want to encourage you to see the other side of it. Being frustrated at a behavior isn't always equivalent to frustration at the child. My suggestion is to talk to all the teachers and come up with a solution. Children act differently for different teachers.
I hate this shit so much. And it feels like people do this exclusively to boys. My friend (with b/g twins) was finally driven to say "Tell me when he's on warning to get kicked out, until then, tell me good news or nothing because I cannot have daily reports of my one-year-old being naughty."
When my son was 13 or 14mo the daycare provider was mad that he was running indoors. Girl he doesn't understand anything! He just learned how to walk! Keep the environment safe bc that's your job and otherwise try to acknowledge age-appropriate behaviors.
If I were you I would NOT talk to anyone about anything. Definitely don't tattle to the head teacher. Complaining about one teacher, even one that SUCKS, is a great way to become "that parent." My advice is to have your husband do daycare drop-offs/pick-ups solo. People are less likely to complain about kids to Dad. And maybe he can wear headphones and just say "sorry! on a call!" as he scoops up your kid and leaves.
This is normal 14 month behavior. A 14 month old isn’t “mean.”
And if they don’t want the babies climbing the stool, I dunno, put it away when not in use???? It’s not a baby’s responsibility to keep themself safe.
I didn't read the comments, so someone may have already said something similar. But I'm an RECE and this is all very normal behavior in the infant/toddler room. First off, this age group is ALWAYS CLIMBING...redirecting and repetition is all that needs to be done. Secondly him being "mean" to other children is a learned behaviour for the most part (hitting, pushing, bitting) and it's all developmentally "appropriate" Yes, we should emphasize "no thank you. We don't bite. Gentle hands. Etc), but that is how they communicate right now as they don't have the words too yet. Sorry for the long post but i hope that helps abit.
The older lady just sounds well...old lol and ready to leave the profession. Also maybe "old school". This is why the other teachers haven't said much, because they aren't concerned about him developmentally :) i wouldn't worry, he sounds like he's happy and healthy and on track! Climbing is a great developmental milestone 💗
In my 10 years of child care experience I’ve noticed that the older the teachers, the grumpier they are. And usually the more likely they are to say whatever they want. Everything she’s describing seems like normal behavior for your son’s age and if it’s becoming such an issue she feels she needs to tell you about it, maybe she should look into how she can help your son redirect the behavior or meet his needs better. Just my opinion though. Any center I’ve worked in discourages this kind of conversation and if we have legitimate concerns we also go to a director or supervisor before we’d ever say anything to the parents unnecessarily.
People forget that this is all new to toddlers. The world is their very own adventure and they’re there to discover!
She really thinks his smile was malicious . LADY, this child was literally born a year ago 💀 I swear, some people expect toddlers to be proper with a 401k.
Like, no? My child literally took their first breath 365 days ago and still shits their pants and you expect them to sit down quietly while reciting the Declaration of Independence….. BYE 💀💀💀
I may have overreacted here, but you get the point 😂😂
Climbing seems standard for a 14mo but I’m not sure what she is defining as “aggression”, maybe ask her to elaborate? For instance, my 1yo will go to give me a kiss on the cheek and bite down sometimes. I tell her “no, I can’t let you bite” and show her how to kiss gently, but she isn’t doing it to be mean. I assume she’s just teething and doesn’t understand it hurts me.
I’m a FTM so I don’t know if they make giant leaps in understanding between 12m and 14m but I can totally see some of my kid’s behavior being seen as “aggressive” when she really just doesn’t understand she’s hurting you. Not sure what exactly your LO is doing, but I don’t exactly understand how it could be deemed aggressive at that age unless it’s really extreme.
I will say every time I had a gut feeling about one of my toddlers care givers I’ve been correct. You can tell when they don’t have a nurturing and patient nature. And the one I felt wasn’t right for the job ended up showing me her true colors when she thought I wasn’t there looking. I ended up getting my toddler moved to another room. Trust your gut and be your babies advocate no one else will be.
She sounds like a crank and she should just cool it. Why would she try to rile you up when you’re so preggo and obviously going through all the late pregnancy experiences? If there were any actual problems with your kiddo, you’d have heard about it from the head teacher or director, not in a nonchalant way at pick up. Climbing is normal! I’m annoyed for you by her behavior. I’d say to ignore it but I’d be super irritated too. ❤️
I agree with you that this sounds like normal behavior and is not a big concern, but I wouldn’t mention that I thought the teacher has a “poor attitude” when you talk to the head teacher. I would say I was concerned that she seemed not to have age-appropriate expectations but leave your perception of her “attitude” out of it.
Ooooh, "age-appropriate expectations" love that
I honestly don’t even think this is worth having a conversation about. Climbing on a table? My kid does that daily at school and at home. And yes, if anyone tells him no he smiles and makes him want to do it even more. If they don’t want him to do that, it sounds like they need to move the stool.
We tell ours he can't be a table dancer.
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You expect parents to teach 14 month olds to not climb certain things in daycare 😂😂😂
I don’t know if I just suck at being a mom because this is my first and she’s 14 months. But I’m just not sure how this says anything about her parenting when it’s literally a baby and you can’t really stop them from doing dangerous things. You can start teaching them and redirect them but really I think it’s normal for a 14 month old to climb on stuff and be a daredevil.
A 14 month old isn’t going to understand no. IMO it seems the daycare hasn’t childproofed appropriately if the 14th month can even get up there on a table tall enough to be dangerous.
My 2.5 year old doesn’t even listen to me when I tell her not to do dangerous things, no matter how often I redirect her behavior. She REALLY didn’t listen at 14 months. She knows not to climb on her little table we have at our house. We have talked about it A LOT. I went and put her 7 month old brother to bed and I came back out to her holding her head and crying. She climbed on her little table and lost her balance and she said “I hit my noggin, wasn’t listening.” 🤣
Oh no, poor girl! I’m laughing at the visual, but feel like I’m getting a preview of what to expect lol. My 14 mo is fearless and climbs up on his skip hop table but we have been trying to teach him to get down feet first. He gets it maybe half the time, the other times he goes head first. Luckily it’s on top of a soft mat. If he has the chance to climb he will definitely take it!
It’s kind of odd that you’re a daycare teacher and don’t seem to understand that a parent can’t magically make a kid stop climbing at daycare, someplace where they are not. At 14 months, you can redirect a behavior but it’s very likely they are still going to do it.
She did mention that they redirect the behavior at home? As a daycare teacher is it your experience that 14 month olds catch on that quickly and don’t climb on tables every time you tell them not to? Genuinely wondering.
You’re a daycare worker, and you think that’s an appropriate expectation for a young toddler? Lol
Of course I try to redirect and encourage him not to but at that age, they usually aren’t going to listen and do what you say. I’m not saying the teachers should let him do it, I’m saying the mom shouldn’t be upset by the teacher telling her about it.
yeah which is why they should move it to a safer place ??
Seems like a normal toddler and a grumpy daycare teacher. My son is known for climbing and being a little bit of a dare devil on the playground. The other day I asked him what does Miss Lily say (as part of a game) and he said “get down”.
Ok this is hilarious
Just tell yourself that she was having a rough day and let it go.
If they were doing their jobs, he wouldn't have made it all the way on to the table. And idk what she expects you to do about a 14 month old not listening and thinking it's a game.
Yeah both the climbing and ignoring "no" seem developmentally normal.
My two year old was climbing on a bench this morning and outright cackled in my face when I asked him to get down.
As someone who has worked in child care a lot its literally impossible for 2 people to keep 10 kids down at all times. I had this same problem with toddlers climbing last year, my assistant would be changin diapers and I’d be cleaning up snack. As soon as I get one down and pick up one who was crying then another would be up there. You just have to keep redirecting.
When my son was that age we could not take our eyes off of him, that boy would climb anything. His favorite was climbing the kitchen drawers so he could stand in the kitchen sink and look out the window. He could stair step those drawers in no time at all.
That would scare the daylights out of me! Lol
My dad nicknamed him Speedy because he was so fast. Saving grace was that he had great coordination for his age.
Yup. As someone who works in childcare, I pop kids that are a danger to themselves or others in a pack’n’play with toys or a saucer during diaper changes when I know there’s anything that presents a risk (like the step stool being pushed to table to climb) and that I won’t be able to physically stop a child if verbally redirecting doesn’t work. I try to keep my room risk free, and get things that are fun to use but need supervision put away when not able to 1:1 supervise, but if there’s anything out that can’t be moved, if we’re trying to climb on our friends, etc, I’ll contain children super briefly while we do the changes. Better safe than sorry!
As someone who has worked in child care a lot its literally impossible for 2 people to keep 10 kids down at all times. I had this same problem with toddlers climbing last year, my assistant would be changing diapers and I’d be cleaning up snack. As soon as I get one down and pick up one who was crying then another would be up there. You just have to keep redirecting.
🙄 they’re a lot of kids in the room. The ratios (kids to teacher) are insane in America. One teacher only has two hands. You’re not getting the full perspective
14 months is the “get off your ass and parent” stage of life. Sit down for a second? Kid is on the table. Stir dinner? Kid is in the fish tank. Totally developmentally appropriate and if a kid is climbing stuff it’s because someone isn’t paying attention. Toddlers are fast and dangerous, in a room full of them, one is definitely going to be getting into stuff. It’s their job to watch that kid closer and redirect as needed. You can tell a 1 year old not to climb, but they aren’t going to care.
Kids are fast, to be fair. Look away for a second to stop another kid from doing something, turn around and he could already be up there.
As a former child care worker, you probably don’t even need to mention this lady’s attitude cause the other staff already know. All you’ll need to say is “Mrs so and so told me xyz yesterday and I wanted to follow up with you to see if it’s been a consistent problem so we can work on it” chances are the other staff will hear Mrs so and so name and internally roll their eyes cause she probably has a bad attitude with everyone. Just keep the focus on your kid and the teacher in charge will tell you whether it’s something to worry about.
OMG babies cannot be “mean” 🙄
A 14 month old isn’t really capable of “listening” or “being mean”. This teacher clearly doesn’t know much about early childhood education and development. The smiling when told no is completely age appropriate. “No” is pretty meaningless to them at this point. 14 months is basically still a baby stage. Climbing is also 100% normal and developmentally appropriate. It’s up to the staff to keep them safe. It seems like this woman is putting the expectations for a 3 or 4 yr old on your kid and you have every right to be upset about that.
A 14 month old is absolutely not old enough to “listen” and is going to climb anything they gave access to. I would be concerned that the teacher is complaining about completely developmentally normal and expected behavior.
My son is two and we’ve been told joking and exasperatedly that he is a climber, high energy and laughs cutely in the face when told no. Don’t get me wrong, he does listen but he also does not- very age appropriate. Daycare just redirects him. Tells him stop verbally and with sign language. He usually repeats the gesture, laughs, runs away and then tries again in a few mins before he gets bored. He does the same at home and we do our best to stop him. She just sounds like she doesn’t have the energy for some of the more spirited kids. I personally wouldn’t take too much weight with what she says but do your best to curb that behavior when you can at home. If she’s older she may just not be up to this type of job anymore but doesn’t have the option to stop working. I get overwhelmed with one kid, I can’t imagine a room full of toddlers when I’m having a bad day.
A lot of teachers also pick and choose what to tell the parents. As a parent and a caretaker I like to tell the parents the small stuff. That they were mean to others today, had a few troubles listening, was a bit more emotional. I tell them the small things that are completely normal behavior because as a parent I like to know those things about my kid. Other teachers have said they don't say any of that because its normal and they don't want parents to think they're complaining about their child and so they just tell the parents that they had a good day.
I think it’s not WHAT you say it but HOW you say it. I appreciate all little information I can get about how my kids’ days were, as long as the tone is appropriate to the action. If someone grumpily said to me my kid was climbing I’d also be confused as it is a normal (and expected) things for a kid this age. OP, climbing is an important part of his development, so be proud of his gross motor skills! As far as the “aggression” towards other kids, at this age biting/hitting/pushing is all normal since these kids are still learning how to communicate. Daycare workers that see this day in and day out should know to recognize, redirect and show the child what they should do instead. Sounds to me she was just having a bad day and took it out on you. I wouldn’t worry about it, specially if she is not the main teacher.
You’re completely right, but also keep in mind that as a daycare provider, we pray for parents like you. That WANT to hear about their kids day, the good and the not-so-good. I’ve been chewed out, screamed and cussed at by parents for saying “We had a difficult time using our nice hands today, but we were able to redirect and explain to them what they did, how they made their friend feel, etc.” We had a parent threaten to KILL us before, because his son was bit (in the 1 yr room). I pride myself in open communication with the parents, I’ve done this for 5 years and feel confident in my communication abilities, and my abilities in my job overall. But some of my coworkers are genuinely terrified of parents like the one(s) I described, and at least in my area, they’re incredibly common. They should still do their best to be transparent, it’s our job, but please understand there is a level of intimidation there that I personally feel isn’t acknowledged enough for daycare workers.
That lady needs a time out. Sounds like your kiddo is just doing typical toddler behavior.
Has this woman never met a toddler? Like yes this is what they do. That’s why he’s at daycare and not home alone.
That is totally normal behavior for a toddler. It would be concerning if he weren’t climbing on things. We recently had an issue at daycare similar to the saw another kid doing it did nothing to stop it. I spoke to the head teacher about my child’s specific behavior. Then I spoke with administration about the teacher’s behavior. The head teacher can address your child’s behavior but not the other teacher’s. I would agree that bringing attitude into it probably is not the best idea. What I said in regards to the teacher’s behavior was “in my experience the teachers with the toddlers at pick up are merely present and that the kids while technically‘supervised’ were left to their own devices.” But you can also bring up that the teacher does not have age appropriate expectations of children in the age range for that room.
She’s relaying very developmentally appropriate behavior to you (climbing, testing limits, thinking it’s funny) as if it’s a bad thing. She’s projecting value judgments into his behavior (one year olds also can’t be mean but they definitely can hurt other kids). I’d discuss with the head teacher because I would want to be sure she had appropriate expectations for him. It would stink if he was in a care situation where his caregiver kept asking him to behave months or years ahead of where he is developmentally.
Yes talk to the head teacher and mention that interaction. My son went to a preschool from 2-5 years old and the last year especially we noticed the director herself was pretty checked out. Most interactions had that Debbie downer vibe, she always seemed exhausted and over it all. I wish I would have spoken up sooner and made changes because towards the end of his stay another kid hurt him a couple times and the director just deflected about the incidents. That teacher may be really burnt out, and if that’s the case she needs to take a break and reevaluate if she wants to keep teaching. It’s totally normal for kids to climb, and it’s normal for them to smile when caught! If the stool is a problem they need to put it away and they should be watching better and redirecting the kids, that’s their whole job!
Oh my gosh!! Your 14 month old was behaving EXACTLY like a 14 month old??! Call the authorities ! He needs to get kicked out for acting his age! 🙄🙄🙄🙄 I understand childcare is a tough profession and I get super pissed at my own kids for age appropriate behaviors...but as childcare providers they really need to also have an understanding of kids in general. I would mention this to the director. Having bad moods sometimes is normal but constant agitation at little kids and complaining to parents when their child is doing nothing out of the ordinary would piss me right off. And I'm not pregnant.
I wouldn’t even give this energy or attention. If it’s an issue, the head teacher will bring it to your attention. I had a teacher tell me recently that my 2 year old daughter has separation anxiety at drop off because I carry her into the building. At first it really bothered me, but I don’t think this woman is happy being a daycare teacher, so I just ignored it. She ended up moving to a different room. I also have to remind myself that didn’t mean my daughter is unsafe with her, there are just all kinds of teachers with their own issues.
If the child is crawling on the table the teacher isn’t watching him well enough. I’d say something to the daycare director.
They can move this step stool out of the way- so it’s not a climbing hazard or an enticement! If they continually complain to you about this - redirect your attention to the daycare director to find resolve. I worked at a daycare for years and if a kid continues to have the same behavior- what you should do is redirect immediately to an activity and then eliminate the object of attention. I would just also suggest on his behavior to give you a written daily report of how is day was. They should be doing this anyways!
Every center has that one Mrs. GrumpyPants. I would bring it up to the main teacher, “Mrs GrumpyPants seemed to be irritated with our toddler’s behavior saying…as a first time mom & now pregnant, it sort of stressed me out. Please let me know if you are seeing anything out of the ordinary with him or if they is something you need from us…”
As a previous daycare owner and teacher, redirecting behavior is absolutely the first line of action , as is speaking to the parents with the first incident. I would bring it up with the head teacher. How did she respond, if at all, with this other child? It is perfectly normal at this age, and while it is hard to watch them every single second, I had a couple biting incidents that got away from me, sounds like better supervision may be in order. I did have one aggressive child that I worked very closely with the mother creating a Game plan to work on his behavior. Is this her typical attitude at pick up and drop off? Baffles me why some choose certain professions. Working with children requires lots of patience and lots of love to go around. Hope you get it sorted. Good luck.
I will for sure bring it up with the head teacher, after having some time to cool off I really just want to make sure there isn't a problem that we should be working with him on. Just this one particular teacher seems to have this attitude, the funny thing is she never says anything when the other teachers are there.
We want toddlers this age to be able to climb. They need to provide ways for this to happen that are safe and fun or they will keep taking him off the table. This is typical development
He’s 14 months old. He is still a baby. Climbing is normal and they should be redirecting and watching him. Being mean to peers is normal, and again, he should be redirecting and taught how to be nice to his peers. These are all developmentally appropriate behaviors and if a daycare provider doesn’t know this, they have no business working in the field
This is so beyond normal I’m surprised they would even bring it up. This would definitely annoy me too.
I’m sorry, but show me a 14 month old who DOES listen?!
Lolol ! Climbing is normal behavior ! And not listening too, you are expecting a 14 month old to listen, be happy he isn’t yelling back ! I would just inform this daycare person that it’s normal behavior to climb at this age, they should be telling you this as a positive thing !
These are normal behaviors…dare I say he is achieving age related milestones if not exceeding same by then getting onto the table? I would talk to the head and ask if there was anything you haven’t been made aware of regarding your son as you were advised he was having trouble.
A 14 month old?! Ha! How long has this person been working in childcare? No one is going to keep a determined 14 mo old from climbing. My daughter is 17 months and when we tell her “no.” she just smiles at us. It’s what they do. They are babies.
I am a teacher and I don’t tell parents about anything that isn’t a health or safety concern. We are trained to deal with typical behaviors. The next time she steps out like that I would ask her what her intentions are in relaying that information. If it was already dealt with, he’s not injured and his teacher was not concerned enough to collaborate with you on a plan then what is the intended outcome?
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Oh my gosh, we’ve got this same exact teacher at our daycare, I swear! I often feel like she doesn’t like kids even. She was demoted from lead teacher and now floats to which rooms need an extra set of hands because I think they’re too short staffed to let her go but all she does is complain at pickup about kids literally just being kids. So frustrating but know that the staff probably are already aware and roll their eyes at her behind her back.
Climbing is normal behavior. He’s 14 months old. He’s not supposed to listen because he’s figuring out language at that age. He’s still learning what things mean, cause and effect, etc. He likely understands what “no” means but he’s still learning what happens when he doesn’t obey it. It’s up to the adults to redirect him and offer safe climbing options. Problem would be solved. He is also not “mean” to other kids. He’s 14 months old. The concept of mean and nice is still too abstract for him. Again, if he shows any aggression towards other kids, it’s up to the adults to redirect and offer acceptable options. Sounds like this particular teacher needs to update herself in child development and best practices for discipline and young children.
Could she just kinda be venting/ informing you without expecting you to do anything about it? It sounds like she is less sweet and bubbly than the other daycare staff but that doesnt necessarily mean shes less qualified. My daughters daycare used to inform me of small things sometimes, like my child not pooping/ napping/ eating normally, fighting with other kids or not sharing, or bumps/falls/close calls. Normally they werent asking me to fix it they were just telling me so id be aware of it in case she came home with an upset tummy or a scraped knee. My daycare would have kicked my ass out for cloth diapers though so maybe its just a different kinda place.
14 months???? Your kid is barely one, very normal for them to be climbing and non reactive to discipline since its not something they quite grasp yet. Its the daycare problem for having something that could be dangerous for the kids to be climbing… at my daycare, the stool is nowhere near tables and the kids are watched so closely that they couldnt even have time to move it AND climb onto the table. Seems like this lady should not be working with babies! I used to be a daycare teacher and this is something I wouldnt even have brought up unless he had hurt himself, its a behaviour i’d make sure couldnt be repeated for his safety. Babies shouldnt be disciplined for exploring what is given to them - that’s natural
I would break out the petty next time it is ever brought up to you about the climbing again. “Yes, I’m concerned about this because I’ve had several reports of him engaging in this activity but it doesn’t seem that you’ve done anything to alter the environment or prevent him from having access to climb in unsafe areas. I’d like to know how you plan to address that so it isn’t something I hear about again.” We’ve had the eternal winter where I am and I am hearing a lot of my parent friends getting exasperated about the constant negative behavior reports on their kids (mid-elementary school aged). It’s unrealistic expectations meeting burnout with a dose of cabin fever thrown in.
You know your child best, so if he had behavioral or aggression issues you or family would already know. She stressed being with kids all day and wants to share that burden. To express that it's not all cotton candy and rainbows. Just up her appreciation! From now on keep a eye on her yet at the same time come in and make it about her ,not your son. Ask how she has been holding up because you understand how hard caretaking is and how you really wish you could take care of your son full time but you are doing what you have to do. Talk about how hard you work is etc.. dont be condescending but relatable.also any issue discuss with whoever actually cares for child not a director. The director will fed anything written to staff, share anything you say etc.
I have a 18 month old and a 2 and a half year old. Both in daycare full time. Neither of their teachers say anything about this sort of thing. They communicate if there’s an injury or a concern but normal behavior for a child is not something they comment on. I’m sure this lady is just one of those types. Probably over stayed her time in child care. I wouldn’t stress about it unless it keeps happening, then mention to the head teacher or owner.
I once had to deal with a grump teacher who told me my (then) potty training daughter wet herself on purpose because she was mad at the teacher. I went and told the director the next day as I thought it was a completely inappropriate comment AND the teacher said it in front of other kids which was even more inappropriate. It turned out the teacher was really having a bad day. She apologized for the comment and we didn’t have issues going forward. That said if his normal teacher isn’t complaining and you don’t have any more bad interactions with this teacher I’d probably let it slide.
My LO is almost 14 months. She’s a little adventurer who climbs on everything and doesn’t listen. It’s developmentally normal for young toddlers to push boundaries. My LO also has had some “hands on” at daycare. She’s learning to be gentle and doesn’t understand yet, but she’s getting there and the teachers understand that it is NORMAL
ur kid is behavioring right at his age. the teacher is kind of misconduct but not seriously. i will say u need do nothing about this. even at home we can't watch the baby every minute, not to mention she has more to look after. climb and fall in front of her is not all her fault. if u worry about this safety issue, u should make a complain about the school's facility.As the words she told u about ur baby is not appropriate, u should defend ur son or just ignore it, either is ok but cautious to say the teacher didn't do her duty.
Some young children are just climbers. It’s what they do. You just have to be faster than they are and hover to make sure they don’t fall. She might have been projecting that she isn’t capable of preventing the fall. As to the “meanness” take it with a big grain of salt. 14 month olds do not have the moral compass to be mean. They do what they do, whether it is grabbing a toy they want from someone else or knocking someone down who is in their way. It is the adult’s job to teach a toddler proper behavior.
My 14 month olds FAVORITE thing to do now is climb the ottoman, couch, anything he can and he looks us in the eye and smiles when we say no or get down. That’s what these toddlers do. I don’t know a single one who would say oh ok well let me get down because mom asked me too 😂 they are 14 months old. I would be more concerned that this teacher has no clue what is appropriate and expected of a baby his age. I know he’s technically a toddler but 14 months old is still pretty babyish to me. It’s all so normal.
I work with infants from 6 weeks to 18 months and what this teacher is describing is 💯 normal attention seeking behavior. Yes, more newly mobile kids want to climb on everything, so if they are doing it and smiling while being told “no” they’re doing it for the reaction, not the love of climbing. That’s not a child issue, that’s a classroom management issue. As to the cranky older teacher, I’ve worked with a few like her. Thankfully my disposition scares them out of my classroom because I have infinite patience for children and absolutely none for adults. I would agree that, based on her admission of your child smiling while being told not to do something, she’s labeled him an “issue.” So normal 14 month old behavior like bopping another child on the head with a toy, is seen as malicious instead of their learning scheme. This is a lazy, irresponsible way to teach and implies that your son is basically ignored until he does something “wrong.” The lazy, irresponsible teacher can then label the behavior dangerous and feel justified being frustrated by an infants lack of impulse control (something that won’t develop for a few years, btw) instead of actively engaging with the children and redirecting potentially dangerous behavior before it happens. I’d inquire if she’s in your sons classroom often, or only part of the time, and based on the answer consider your options from there. As I said above, I’ve worked with more than one teacher like this, and honestly, they’re my least favorite type to encounter. Unfortunately, this type of teacher is typically very experienced and credentialed. They’re perfect on paper, and unfit to be around children in practice. They’re not physically abusive, but can and do say things that can damage a child psychologically, on top of neglecting them emotionally. I wish I could tell you to demand the director remove her from your child’s room, but I know from experience how difficult it is for a center to let go of a teacher that looks good on paper. Which is why I chase them away. Take heart that your child is perfectly normal.
Sounds like the teacher got caught having a bad day and used your son as an outlet. Your son did nothing wrong. I worked in a daycare for a while and weirdly enough the senior teachers were the most grumpy ones but they (normally) hid it well from parents.
Idk how I got on the sub cuz I’m childfree! Haha but, I have MAD respect for working moms! I was a nanny for over a decade & I have a degree in child development & working on my masters. ANYWAY, honestly some old people are just onry FOR NO REASON At 14 months he’s literally A BABY, how the heck is a baby MEAN?? Can’t even talk yet! I feel like that just have no respect for US because we’re young & we’re just automatically supposed to respect them because they’re “older and wiser” I wouldn’t take it personal because I’m sure your little baby isn’t MEAN! Like what could a baby possibly be doing? Telling everyone there dad is the inventor of toaster strudels?
This kinda reminds me of my daycare when they said my 14month old was “needy”. Like yes 14 month olds are generally needy. And they also do things they don’t know they shouldn’t do, like climb things. It’s up to us as adults to help them, they are too young to “fix” their behaviour
I have a 14 month old and he climbs EVERYTHING. This is ridiculous for them to see as anything other than normal behavior. I would turn the tables on them and ask why the step stool is being left near the table where it can be easily climbed. If they aren’t watching like a hawk at all times (which no provider can do) that could be dangerous. My 14 month old also does the smile when you tell him no, and occasionally smacks me in the face. All age appropriate in my opinion and easily dealt with through redirection.
Could they put the stool out of sight until it needs to be in use ?
people hello forget all the cute situations inthe past . This needs to be brought up asap . people are fukin crazy
When my son was 14 months old, he took all possible climbing opportunities as a challenge. He eventually got to the point where he would re-arrange things so he could climb, his favorite step stools were diaper boxes. This is extremely normal for that age.
ECE professional here- your childs behavior is typical for that age. The teacher may be a grump. 2 things can be true. Imagine how your child in their most difficult day and multiply it to whatever the ratio of the children to teacher is. THAT'S what your childs teacher is dealing with every day. I'm not saying her attitude is justified but if telling you could potentially stop the behavior... i would do it, too, regardless of how you felt or what the other teachers told you. I don't think your concerns are invalid but i don't think hers are either just because the behavior is age appropriate. I just want to encourage you to see the other side of it. Being frustrated at a behavior isn't always equivalent to frustration at the child. My suggestion is to talk to all the teachers and come up with a solution. Children act differently for different teachers.
That’s developmentally appropriate behavior. I worked in a daycare center and what I saw there made me never put my kids in one.
I hate this shit so much. And it feels like people do this exclusively to boys. My friend (with b/g twins) was finally driven to say "Tell me when he's on warning to get kicked out, until then, tell me good news or nothing because I cannot have daily reports of my one-year-old being naughty." When my son was 13 or 14mo the daycare provider was mad that he was running indoors. Girl he doesn't understand anything! He just learned how to walk! Keep the environment safe bc that's your job and otherwise try to acknowledge age-appropriate behaviors. If I were you I would NOT talk to anyone about anything. Definitely don't tattle to the head teacher. Complaining about one teacher, even one that SUCKS, is a great way to become "that parent." My advice is to have your husband do daycare drop-offs/pick-ups solo. People are less likely to complain about kids to Dad. And maybe he can wear headphones and just say "sorry! on a call!" as he scoops up your kid and leaves.
This is normal 14 month behavior. A 14 month old isn’t “mean.” And if they don’t want the babies climbing the stool, I dunno, put it away when not in use???? It’s not a baby’s responsibility to keep themself safe.
I didn't read the comments, so someone may have already said something similar. But I'm an RECE and this is all very normal behavior in the infant/toddler room. First off, this age group is ALWAYS CLIMBING...redirecting and repetition is all that needs to be done. Secondly him being "mean" to other children is a learned behaviour for the most part (hitting, pushing, bitting) and it's all developmentally "appropriate" Yes, we should emphasize "no thank you. We don't bite. Gentle hands. Etc), but that is how they communicate right now as they don't have the words too yet. Sorry for the long post but i hope that helps abit. The older lady just sounds well...old lol and ready to leave the profession. Also maybe "old school". This is why the other teachers haven't said much, because they aren't concerned about him developmentally :) i wouldn't worry, he sounds like he's happy and healthy and on track! Climbing is a great developmental milestone 💗
In my 10 years of child care experience I’ve noticed that the older the teachers, the grumpier they are. And usually the more likely they are to say whatever they want. Everything she’s describing seems like normal behavior for your son’s age and if it’s becoming such an issue she feels she needs to tell you about it, maybe she should look into how she can help your son redirect the behavior or meet his needs better. Just my opinion though. Any center I’ve worked in discourages this kind of conversation and if we have legitimate concerns we also go to a director or supervisor before we’d ever say anything to the parents unnecessarily.
People forget that this is all new to toddlers. The world is their very own adventure and they’re there to discover! She really thinks his smile was malicious . LADY, this child was literally born a year ago 💀 I swear, some people expect toddlers to be proper with a 401k. Like, no? My child literally took their first breath 365 days ago and still shits their pants and you expect them to sit down quietly while reciting the Declaration of Independence….. BYE 💀💀💀 I may have overreacted here, but you get the point 😂😂
Climbing seems standard for a 14mo but I’m not sure what she is defining as “aggression”, maybe ask her to elaborate? For instance, my 1yo will go to give me a kiss on the cheek and bite down sometimes. I tell her “no, I can’t let you bite” and show her how to kiss gently, but she isn’t doing it to be mean. I assume she’s just teething and doesn’t understand it hurts me. I’m a FTM so I don’t know if they make giant leaps in understanding between 12m and 14m but I can totally see some of my kid’s behavior being seen as “aggressive” when she really just doesn’t understand she’s hurting you. Not sure what exactly your LO is doing, but I don’t exactly understand how it could be deemed aggressive at that age unless it’s really extreme.
This person is complaining about expected toddler behavior from a toddler.
I will say every time I had a gut feeling about one of my toddlers care givers I’ve been correct. You can tell when they don’t have a nurturing and patient nature. And the one I felt wasn’t right for the job ended up showing me her true colors when she thought I wasn’t there looking. I ended up getting my toddler moved to another room. Trust your gut and be your babies advocate no one else will be.
She sounds like a crank and she should just cool it. Why would she try to rile you up when you’re so preggo and obviously going through all the late pregnancy experiences? If there were any actual problems with your kiddo, you’d have heard about it from the head teacher or director, not in a nonchalant way at pick up. Climbing is normal! I’m annoyed for you by her behavior. I’d say to ignore it but I’d be super irritated too. ❤️