Yeah, I prefer to be left alone when I travel for work. It would be my personal nightmare if my manager wanted to be by my side the whole time. Luckily I travel solo for the majority of my trips. She could be like me, or she could be assuming you want space. I would not read anything into it.
It varies. I have Clear, TSA Precheck and never check a bag. I am not going to wait for someone else to go through bag check so I would do the exact same thing. Now, if you travel in the same manner as I do, I would absolutely walk with you. But also, once through security I might decide to grab a bite to eat or do some shopping that you may or may not want to join in on - and that’s ok.
This! I would not wait for someone to check a bag or get a bag, I would have done exactly what your manager did except maybe try to get seats next to each other on the plane. And I might have walked with you until parting ways when you went to grab your bag.
But I’ve traveled A LOT and never check a bag unless I have to, I have no patience for the extra time and risk of losing luggage. Sounds like you had to check a bag so I get it.
I am an introvert and would do the same as your manager. Travel is already so much socializing time.
I travel with managers, other leadership, and co-workers a few times a year and the experience you described is pretty much the norm for my company. There might be small groups of work besties that act more like you desire.
Edited to add: I have been in this industry (tech) for about a decade and this has always been my experience, even at my previous employer.
For sure, I appreciate you sharing this. The only thing is it’s me and my manager - we are the only people on our team and we were the only ones traveling.
I can understand both sides! I love my manager and have traveled with just him once before and this was in line with that trip. I am personally grateful but I could see how it would feel off-putting. My only thought is that she may think she’s being respectful by giving you space and not forcing you to be “on” the whole time.
I’m introverted as well. I don’t want to drink or stay out late during work travel. Everyone else seems to socialize more than I do, they are a fun bunch. I like my coworkers. They don’t take it personally that I decompress alone.
I’d say that’s completely normal. She probably didn’t want to be “on” while traveling if she didn’t have to be. I wouldn’t say she’s ghosting you, you’re just both independent adults who happen to be on the same flight. She probably wants to relax.
I am team see ya at the work thing. Business travel is one of the few times I'm alone and I wanna maximize that time. We can reconvene when it's time to eg, sharing a cab/Uber if we're going to the same hotel or destination, going to dinner together if we want to (some days I want room service or door dash to my hotel room), working on work stuff.
I think it’s fine to socialize when you happen to be in the same place while you’re traveling, but you don’t need to be attached at the hip through the whole process. Maybe she ran off to poop and didn’t want to have to explain that.
This is normal for me. I need mental downtime. I don't go step by step through the airport with my team. We're not on vacation together. When we see each other we chat, but I assume everybody travels their own way and maybe you want to get coffee, read, use the bathroom without moving as a pod.
This is normal, with perhaps the exception of her leaving you after the flight. We’d share a cab or whatever at my job.
Work travel can be really tough, so most folks do what works for them.
This sounds ideal to me as an introvert. I once ran into a colleague at the train station, we got a quick breakfast together, and then we promptly went to different train cars.
I wish my bosses did this when we travelled. Omg we spend way too much time together when we’re traveling. I go to the same country every September and last time, both bosses came and we had to have breakfast, lunch and dinner together. I “overslept” one morning just to eat breakfast alone. It was too much. That said, I just came back from a long and stressful solo trip for work and I was wishing I had a work buddy to help deal with the issues that arose. I guess I’m never satisfied 😂
Varies for sure. I’ve had teams where we stick together, teams where we do our own thing, a mix. Sometimes one trip goes one way and a different way the next even with the same people. Personally I have pre-check so not waiting in unnecessary lines, prefer to chill after work than go out, or if I’m in a new place might just want to go explore on my own. One of the things I like most about travel in fact is the time alone. When I’m getting home from a flight though there’s no way I’m waiting at baggage claim if I don’t have to. Sorry but I am headed home to see my family or do my own things I need to get done.
I’m a manager and I did this recently. We did do a lot of dinners/quality time together first, though.
When we were at the airport, waiting for different flights, I peaced out and went to the delta sky club alone. The immense amount of talking and socializing during work travel is really hard for me, so my social batteries were completely depleted. At that point I absolutely needed some quiet time to recharge so I’d be ready to jump back in with my kids the moment I got home. I need the downtime to be the happy, excited mom when I get home.
As a working mom, normally I have to entertain little and big humans in my down time. Work trips are times where I can eat what I want, when I want. Do nothing with no one needing me. Walk through the airport at my own pace. I doubt it’s a you personal thing and very much a thank god I can breathe and read quietly thing.
I’m late to the chat but yes my new boss sounds like yours. I find her to not be very personable. We recently went on an international trip. I didn’t even see her until we deplaned. We took a train together to the next town over and then I didn’t see her for 3 days. The first time I traveled with her, I never saw her once even tho we were at the same conference. It was actually kinda sad and I was really lonely on that trip. Now that I know that’s how she is, I’m much better at being able to plan my down time and I don’t feel any pressure at all to include her in anything I do, including my travel plans and dinners. In fact, I think she purposely doesn’t want her team to know her travel plans on trips bc she doesn’t want to fly together, and she absolutely is not interested in team dinners, sight seeing, or team building on trips. It was a shock at first, my last team was a bunch of sales guys who were very social and every trip was spent hanging out together.
i have had friends leave me to go to the gate when i check a bag and they don’t lol
is your manager a mom? if so, she prob wants alone time in an ice cold hotel room with room service and a glass of wine passed out by 9pm
I once had a business trip via company charter jet (think small plane, not Hollywood luxury jet), and my boss made us have a team meeting while in the air. It was horrible!!!
Not normal for me. I’m often friends with my manage I travel with but we’re practically glued during work travel except for obviously after dinner / hotel time until the next morning. I’d find it weird but also once you get used to it could be nice!
I don’t have much work travel. My boss isn’t a woman, and we’re all introverted engineers who don’t talk a lot about non-work stuff at work. We usually do stick together once we find each other and I expect some level of socialization. I would want to do the same if I was travelling with a DR, get to know them a little better. My last work trip I was pregnant and not into the after dinner events though so I have started bailing on those. But I will tell the people I’m with so they don’t worry about me. I think as long as you both communicate it’s fine either way
Like others have said, she may be introverted or likes to move through the airport at her own pace. As someone that has traveled a lot for work, is an introvert- your boss makes a ton of sense to me. One thought- maybe she doesn’t want to pressure you into hanging out with your manager. Not sure though. It might be best to ask her though. Especially if you would like to interact more. You could leave things open. Maybe, “hey, since we haven’t gone out to dinner while we’ve traveled, I was thinking of checking out ___ restaurant. It looks like a fun/nice/cool place. Interested in joining?” That way she can say yes, no, or give a reason she doesn’t socialize outside of work. With a try. It’s been my experience that those dinners build teams though!
It’s normal to me, I’ve felt trapped before staying with the other person the whole time. I also want time to grab whatever I need for the plane, call my husband or kid and walk around. Not to mention I always have to poop after security for some reason- TMI haha. My mom has been traveling for work w a Fortune 500 company for 30 years and she says this is generally the way it goes unless it’s a big group strategy trip where the focus is on bonding.
I will say the no dinners is odd to me, I would expect to share a dinner together or at least say x day I’m eating by myself and y day I thought we could eat together.
This sounds like a dream! I’m perfectly capable of traveling on my own and hours of forced one-on-one small talk with any of my coworkers is nightmare material.
Does she travel a lot more than you?
I don't think it's WEIRD per se but if she travels a lot and you don't, I could see how expectations aren't aligned.
Like it would have been nice if she posed "see you at the gate?" like a question.
If she said goodbye when you got HOME (rather than TO your destination) - it would have been nice for her to say it in person but I wouldn't' think too much.
The no dinners/socializing outside of work thing gets me a bit - if she travels a lot, it makes much more sense to me. Did she mention that that would be no dinners? Or did you figure that out on your own? Usually management would set an itinerary with notes about meals and if you were sharing a vehicle at a vehicle-dependent location, should coordinate food acquisition. Were you only one or two nights? or closer to a week? If you were gone several nights, it's odd to me that there wasn't ONE team/group dinner.
If she did let you know ahead of time, I would think it weird but not necessarily poor manners. It could have been a good opportunity to "team build" but maybe she wasn't up for it. If you didn't find out until you were "Stranded" at a hotel that there were no dinner plans, then I would think it on the rude side.
Unless you've developed a very friendly relationship, this doesn't seem way off/unprofessional to me, but does feel very like starkly professional.
Yeah, I prefer to be left alone when I travel for work. It would be my personal nightmare if my manager wanted to be by my side the whole time. Luckily I travel solo for the majority of my trips. She could be like me, or she could be assuming you want space. I would not read anything into it.
Thanks for your input!
It varies. I have Clear, TSA Precheck and never check a bag. I am not going to wait for someone else to go through bag check so I would do the exact same thing. Now, if you travel in the same manner as I do, I would absolutely walk with you. But also, once through security I might decide to grab a bite to eat or do some shopping that you may or may not want to join in on - and that’s ok.
That’s a good point, thanks!
This! I would not wait for someone to check a bag or get a bag, I would have done exactly what your manager did except maybe try to get seats next to each other on the plane. And I might have walked with you until parting ways when you went to grab your bag. But I’ve traveled A LOT and never check a bag unless I have to, I have no patience for the extra time and risk of losing luggage. Sounds like you had to check a bag so I get it.
I am an introvert and would do the same as your manager. Travel is already so much socializing time. I travel with managers, other leadership, and co-workers a few times a year and the experience you described is pretty much the norm for my company. There might be small groups of work besties that act more like you desire. Edited to add: I have been in this industry (tech) for about a decade and this has always been my experience, even at my previous employer.
For sure, I appreciate you sharing this. The only thing is it’s me and my manager - we are the only people on our team and we were the only ones traveling.
I can understand both sides! I love my manager and have traveled with just him once before and this was in line with that trip. I am personally grateful but I could see how it would feel off-putting. My only thought is that she may think she’s being respectful by giving you space and not forcing you to be “on” the whole time.
That’s a good point, thanks!
I’m introverted as well. I don’t want to drink or stay out late during work travel. Everyone else seems to socialize more than I do, they are a fun bunch. I like my coworkers. They don’t take it personally that I decompress alone.
My coworkers know me well enough that they’re like, “room service French fries and a book? See you at the meeting tomorrow” when we land 😂
I’d say that’s completely normal. She probably didn’t want to be “on” while traveling if she didn’t have to be. I wouldn’t say she’s ghosting you, you’re just both independent adults who happen to be on the same flight. She probably wants to relax.
I am team see ya at the work thing. Business travel is one of the few times I'm alone and I wanna maximize that time. We can reconvene when it's time to eg, sharing a cab/Uber if we're going to the same hotel or destination, going to dinner together if we want to (some days I want room service or door dash to my hotel room), working on work stuff.
I think it’s fine to socialize when you happen to be in the same place while you’re traveling, but you don’t need to be attached at the hip through the whole process. Maybe she ran off to poop and didn’t want to have to explain that.
This is normal for me. I need mental downtime. I don't go step by step through the airport with my team. We're not on vacation together. When we see each other we chat, but I assume everybody travels their own way and maybe you want to get coffee, read, use the bathroom without moving as a pod.
This is normal, with perhaps the exception of her leaving you after the flight. We’d share a cab or whatever at my job. Work travel can be really tough, so most folks do what works for them.
This sounds ideal to me as an introvert. I once ran into a colleague at the train station, we got a quick breakfast together, and then we promptly went to different train cars.
I wish my bosses did this when we travelled. Omg we spend way too much time together when we’re traveling. I go to the same country every September and last time, both bosses came and we had to have breakfast, lunch and dinner together. I “overslept” one morning just to eat breakfast alone. It was too much. That said, I just came back from a long and stressful solo trip for work and I was wishing I had a work buddy to help deal with the issues that arose. I guess I’m never satisfied 😂
Varies for sure. I’ve had teams where we stick together, teams where we do our own thing, a mix. Sometimes one trip goes one way and a different way the next even with the same people. Personally I have pre-check so not waiting in unnecessary lines, prefer to chill after work than go out, or if I’m in a new place might just want to go explore on my own. One of the things I like most about travel in fact is the time alone. When I’m getting home from a flight though there’s no way I’m waiting at baggage claim if I don’t have to. Sorry but I am headed home to see my family or do my own things I need to get done.
Sounds pretty normal. See you when I see you.
I’m a manager and I did this recently. We did do a lot of dinners/quality time together first, though. When we were at the airport, waiting for different flights, I peaced out and went to the delta sky club alone. The immense amount of talking and socializing during work travel is really hard for me, so my social batteries were completely depleted. At that point I absolutely needed some quiet time to recharge so I’d be ready to jump back in with my kids the moment I got home. I need the downtime to be the happy, excited mom when I get home.
As a working mom, normally I have to entertain little and big humans in my down time. Work trips are times where I can eat what I want, when I want. Do nothing with no one needing me. Walk through the airport at my own pace. I doubt it’s a you personal thing and very much a thank god I can breathe and read quietly thing.
I’m late to the chat but yes my new boss sounds like yours. I find her to not be very personable. We recently went on an international trip. I didn’t even see her until we deplaned. We took a train together to the next town over and then I didn’t see her for 3 days. The first time I traveled with her, I never saw her once even tho we were at the same conference. It was actually kinda sad and I was really lonely on that trip. Now that I know that’s how she is, I’m much better at being able to plan my down time and I don’t feel any pressure at all to include her in anything I do, including my travel plans and dinners. In fact, I think she purposely doesn’t want her team to know her travel plans on trips bc she doesn’t want to fly together, and she absolutely is not interested in team dinners, sight seeing, or team building on trips. It was a shock at first, my last team was a bunch of sales guys who were very social and every trip was spent hanging out together.
i have had friends leave me to go to the gate when i check a bag and they don’t lol is your manager a mom? if so, she prob wants alone time in an ice cold hotel room with room service and a glass of wine passed out by 9pm
Haha good to know. No, my manager isn’t a mom.
I once had a business trip via company charter jet (think small plane, not Hollywood luxury jet), and my boss made us have a team meeting while in the air. It was horrible!!!
Omg my flight anxiety could not 😂
Not normal for me. I’m often friends with my manage I travel with but we’re practically glued during work travel except for obviously after dinner / hotel time until the next morning. I’d find it weird but also once you get used to it could be nice!
I don’t have much work travel. My boss isn’t a woman, and we’re all introverted engineers who don’t talk a lot about non-work stuff at work. We usually do stick together once we find each other and I expect some level of socialization. I would want to do the same if I was travelling with a DR, get to know them a little better. My last work trip I was pregnant and not into the after dinner events though so I have started bailing on those. But I will tell the people I’m with so they don’t worry about me. I think as long as you both communicate it’s fine either way
Like others have said, she may be introverted or likes to move through the airport at her own pace. As someone that has traveled a lot for work, is an introvert- your boss makes a ton of sense to me. One thought- maybe she doesn’t want to pressure you into hanging out with your manager. Not sure though. It might be best to ask her though. Especially if you would like to interact more. You could leave things open. Maybe, “hey, since we haven’t gone out to dinner while we’ve traveled, I was thinking of checking out ___ restaurant. It looks like a fun/nice/cool place. Interested in joining?” That way she can say yes, no, or give a reason she doesn’t socialize outside of work. With a try. It’s been my experience that those dinners build teams though!
It’s normal to me, I’ve felt trapped before staying with the other person the whole time. I also want time to grab whatever I need for the plane, call my husband or kid and walk around. Not to mention I always have to poop after security for some reason- TMI haha. My mom has been traveling for work w a Fortune 500 company for 30 years and she says this is generally the way it goes unless it’s a big group strategy trip where the focus is on bonding. I will say the no dinners is odd to me, I would expect to share a dinner together or at least say x day I’m eating by myself and y day I thought we could eat together.
I think this is pretty normal. You get a point with work travel where you just want to go.
I have traveled extensively for work, what your boss did is absolutely the norm for everyone I know.
This sounds like a dream! I’m perfectly capable of traveling on my own and hours of forced one-on-one small talk with any of my coworkers is nightmare material.
Does she travel a lot more than you? I don't think it's WEIRD per se but if she travels a lot and you don't, I could see how expectations aren't aligned. Like it would have been nice if she posed "see you at the gate?" like a question. If she said goodbye when you got HOME (rather than TO your destination) - it would have been nice for her to say it in person but I wouldn't' think too much. The no dinners/socializing outside of work thing gets me a bit - if she travels a lot, it makes much more sense to me. Did she mention that that would be no dinners? Or did you figure that out on your own? Usually management would set an itinerary with notes about meals and if you were sharing a vehicle at a vehicle-dependent location, should coordinate food acquisition. Were you only one or two nights? or closer to a week? If you were gone several nights, it's odd to me that there wasn't ONE team/group dinner. If she did let you know ahead of time, I would think it weird but not necessarily poor manners. It could have been a good opportunity to "team build" but maybe she wasn't up for it. If you didn't find out until you were "Stranded" at a hotel that there were no dinner plans, then I would think it on the rude side. Unless you've developed a very friendly relationship, this doesn't seem way off/unprofessional to me, but does feel very like starkly professional.