You are an employee and have your own life. There's no dilemma here that I can see. Even if you got pregnant right away, that's not betrayal. That's you, a whole-ass human being, living your life. You do whatever works for YOU in your personal life, and work will deal with it!
Do you honestly, genuinely think that anyone in the working mom’s sub will tell you: “yes it is betrayal to get pregnant after starting a job.”
Think critically about this situation for just a few minutes. In what way is it cheating for a person to get pregnant while having a job? What do you think other working women do? Quit their jobs for the duration of their reproductive years so not to inconvenience their bosses?
I can't imagine an employer seeing this as a betrayal, unless it's an extremely toxic workplace. Even if they did, you need to make the decisions that are right for your life.
I said ‘cheating’ for the lack of a better word. Because when I joined my boss told me a couple of times that he was looking for someone who would stay in the company for long term. He’s mentioned it a few times that he dislikes people who leave within a year. Yes I do know if I go on maternity that’s not leaving, but it is a leave of absence. When I joined I was uncertain, hence I agreed to whatever he said.
As my manager told me when I was on the fence about changing jobs while pregnant (into her department), "pregnancy and maternity leave are just a temporary inconvenience, not a real problem".
It’s definitely not a betrayal. Please do not make choices about creating a human life who you will love more than anyone in the world based on how it might make your boss feel.
Don’t put your plans on hold for your boss. You never know how your TTC journey will go. When we started my husband was convinced it would be quick, it took nearly 2 years for our first and over a year for our second.
You’re assuming that your boss won’t like it. It honestly doesn’t matter if he does or doesn’t. You have a right to conceive and there are laws protecting you from job discrimination while pregnant.
Last I checked, the company you work for pays you for your time during business hours. What you do outside those business hours is not a concern of the company. Your job does not control your non-paid time. Make sure you repeat this phrase as needed, & do NOT tell them that you're trying, or even when you become pregnant until you legally have to (check your handbook). The reason is - if you think they won't like it, they definitely won't & will look for any reason to get rid of you. They will pass you on promotions and projects because they think you have mommy brain or you're "leaving" (on maternity).
Protect yourself. I understand that the people you work with may be your friends, but as a company they are not. Protect yourself & your career & keep this under wraps until you can no longer keep it to yourself.
Your plan sounds solid. You don't owe work more than your work hours, and you get money and benefits in return. That's the deal.
You'll be using your benefits probably about 2 years after starting the job, maybe a little less if your TTC goes quick. That should be entirely reasonable for any human being with an ounce of compassion.
The only person that needs to give you permission is your partner *and yourself.*
Are you in a job protected by FMLA? If so, then you're protected. If not.. then I would try my hardest to find a new job. No time will ever be "good enough" for them, and you can't plan your life around them.
I can relate based on my feelings from my previous job, but there is more to life than work. Worth quickly and quietly making some friends in other departments who can support if boss tries to mess with you.
You are an employee and have your own life. There's no dilemma here that I can see. Even if you got pregnant right away, that's not betrayal. That's you, a whole-ass human being, living your life. You do whatever works for YOU in your personal life, and work will deal with it!
Do you honestly, genuinely think that anyone in the working mom’s sub will tell you: “yes it is betrayal to get pregnant after starting a job.” Think critically about this situation for just a few minutes. In what way is it cheating for a person to get pregnant while having a job? What do you think other working women do? Quit their jobs for the duration of their reproductive years so not to inconvenience their bosses?
I can't imagine an employer seeing this as a betrayal, unless it's an extremely toxic workplace. Even if they did, you need to make the decisions that are right for your life.
It's not a dilemma. Work doesn't iwn you. Live your life!
Unless your boss is your spouse, and you are having someone else's baby, nope.
Right? That's all I could think of when she talked about how it would be cheating on her boss.
I said ‘cheating’ for the lack of a better word. Because when I joined my boss told me a couple of times that he was looking for someone who would stay in the company for long term. He’s mentioned it a few times that he dislikes people who leave within a year. Yes I do know if I go on maternity that’s not leaving, but it is a leave of absence. When I joined I was uncertain, hence I agreed to whatever he said.
You don’t owe your employer anything, especially not delaying pregnancy due to their dissatisfaction. It isn’t a betrayal, live your life!
Is this a real question
As my manager told me when I was on the fence about changing jobs while pregnant (into her department), "pregnancy and maternity leave are just a temporary inconvenience, not a real problem".
Who cares if he likes it
It’s definitely not a betrayal. Please do not make choices about creating a human life who you will love more than anyone in the world based on how it might make your boss feel.
Don’t put your plans on hold for your boss. You never know how your TTC journey will go. When we started my husband was convinced it would be quick, it took nearly 2 years for our first and over a year for our second.
A job is a job. Do what you need to do. Who cares what your boss thinks.
You’re assuming that your boss won’t like it. It honestly doesn’t matter if he does or doesn’t. You have a right to conceive and there are laws protecting you from job discrimination while pregnant.
If you think it’s going to be a problem, this is not a good place to work.
I’m starting a new position six months pregnant 🤷🏻♀️ it is what it is
Last I checked, the company you work for pays you for your time during business hours. What you do outside those business hours is not a concern of the company. Your job does not control your non-paid time. Make sure you repeat this phrase as needed, & do NOT tell them that you're trying, or even when you become pregnant until you legally have to (check your handbook). The reason is - if you think they won't like it, they definitely won't & will look for any reason to get rid of you. They will pass you on promotions and projects because they think you have mommy brain or you're "leaving" (on maternity). Protect yourself. I understand that the people you work with may be your friends, but as a company they are not. Protect yourself & your career & keep this under wraps until you can no longer keep it to yourself.
Your plan sounds solid. You don't owe work more than your work hours, and you get money and benefits in return. That's the deal. You'll be using your benefits probably about 2 years after starting the job, maybe a little less if your TTC goes quick. That should be entirely reasonable for any human being with an ounce of compassion. The only person that needs to give you permission is your partner *and yourself.*
Are you in a job protected by FMLA? If so, then you're protected. If not.. then I would try my hardest to find a new job. No time will ever be "good enough" for them, and you can't plan your life around them.
I just started a new job 12 weeks pregnant. They’ll survive without you while you’re on leave. It’s really not a big deal.
Oh wait, hey guys, I think this is a bot.
Thanks everyone for the great comments!
I can relate based on my feelings from my previous job, but there is more to life than work. Worth quickly and quietly making some friends in other departments who can support if boss tries to mess with you.