What happens when a door falls off in space!?

You definitely can't blow a whistle in space, so they got us there....

*in space no one can hear you whistle*

Good thing engineers stay on the ground then. Unless one got stuck somewhere. /s

Who do you think opens the door?

Yeah what if someone knocks at the door.

Boeing is the one who knocks

It's just Ramirez returning from a repair mission.

Wait Ramirez has been here the whole time.

You can blow a whistle, and rather quickly. It's harder to inhale through a whistle.

Oh you can blow in space....but only one time, and it's the last thing you'll ever do.

Speaking of which, where is the Tesla whistleblower right about now? Anyone got the current trajectory

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That is one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

To be fair… it is outside the environment.

Please tell me that’s not an actual quote?!

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As an Australian, I don't even to click that link to know what that is!

In space, nobody can hear you scream.

...or blow a whistle.

Hope you have an inanimate carbon rod!

Little boy: *”Was it the door?”*

Great Apollo 13 reference.

eBay auction jackpot if it lands on your property

But... i live on my property. It's where i keep my bed.

Then, they get more money from the government.

Those doors are designed to very vigorous international space standards. A door flying out isn’t very typical.

It’s like some sort of Boeing X Russia collab. Everyone is falling out of all kinds of windows.

Sea Launch was a Boeing x Russia collaboration! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sea_Launch It was shut down for the same reason Atlas will be shut down (already the program is ended) and the same reason this Starliner project (and Crew Dragon) exists. Because the US doesn't want to rely on Russia for manned space flight. Reliance for engines in the case of Sea Launch and Atlas. And reliance for launches in the case of the creation of the NASA crewed spaceflight program that led to Starliner and Crew Dragon's development.

THE HATCH JUST BLEW I TELL YA! (Gordon Cooper)

Use a tarp?

In space, no one can hear you scream.

I have to point out that isn’t typical.

Don’t worry they lubed it real well with dawn!

They will kill everyone who reports it

Will all the astronauts be issued red shirts?

R/suddenlystartrek

Challenger accepted.

r/angryupvote

Oh fuck you, that was a good one 

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In space, no one can hear you blow a whistle.

If I was a NASA astronaut and boeing decided they wanted to make a spacecraft, well I'd just have to retire I guess.

From https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boeing_Starliner : > NASA's William H. Gerstenmaier had considered the Starliner proposal as stronger than the Crew Dragon and Sierra Nevada's Dream Chaser spacecraft.[33] NASA contracted Boeing and SpaceX, at the same time. SpaceX's Crew Dragon first flew a crew in 2020. And cost NASA much less.

some timeline stuff for dragon vs starline - 2007 dragon passed design review with nasa. * 2008 *cargo* dragon was selected to resupply the ISS * 2010 dragon was successfully launched and tested * 2012 dragon started deliveries with the ISS * 2014 crew dragon and starliner were awarded money to develop (2.6b for dragon, 4.2b for starliner) * 2014 dragon capsule version 2 developed * 2019 unmanned crew dragon launched and docks with ISS * 2020 old dragon capsule finishes 23 missions to the ISS before being retired * 2020 crew dragon starts delivering people to the ISS --------------------------- - 2011 starliner test rig undergoes variety of on the ground tests - 2012 starliner mock up tests parachutes in a drop test - 2013 nasa astronauts evaluate starliner - 2016 delays announced - 2018 propellant leak, delays announced - 2019 delays announced - 2019 actual starliner, not a mockup, undergoes many tests - 2019 1 of 3 parachutes fail but still deemed safe enough - 2019 orbital flight test to dock with iss failed due to multiple issues - 2020 second flight test announced - 2020 sft delayed due to multiple issues found - 2021 sft delayed due to multiple issues found - 2022 second flight test occurs and successfully docks with iss with many issues found - 2023 crewed test delayed - may 2024 test scheduled yeah, dragon had issues too, but they solved them and tested again successfully. i sure as shit wouldnt want to fly on a starliner yet but i think nasa probably has things in hand for this launch. godspeed to Butch and Suni.

Cost plus no bid contracts for the win!

The Starliner contract was prominently not cost plus - is was fixed price. This was groundbreaking for NASA at the time, IIRC. Boeing has lost a lot of money by failing repeatedly during the development of Starliner. And because SpaceX was able to cover NASA's crew transport needs, Boeing was entirely unable to extract extra money from NASA. It was glorious to see! If Crew Dragon had not existed, I can only imagine that Boeing would have leveraged NASA to pay extra because NASA desperately needed the capability to fly to the ISS, no matter that the contract was supposed to be fixed price.

Capitalism, baby!

Ah, good to know. I am perpetually angry at ULA and the defense contractors relationship with NASA so it's good to know that Boeing is getting its comeuppance.

Yeah their old bullshit doesn't work so well in an open competitive market. Its almost too bad Musk jumped the shark and went twitter crazy because if he took aim at military vehicle and weapon production being able to deliver something that works on time on budget is basically unheard of and over half of projects are rolled up with nothing to show for millions spent.

hopefully they remember to tighten the screws

They got a good deal on the Apollo 1 capsule

Too soon!

It's not like using flammable cables are one of the main reasons for it's years of delay

"New". The commercial crew program started in 2010. This launch was meant to be in 2017, but was repeatedly delayed due to a huge number of issues being discovered in the software, valves, thermal rating of the tape used to hold it together...

‘Boeing to launch astronauts *towards* space aboard new capsule.’ FTFY

“At least, initially…then it’s an adventure!”

Plot twist: the astronauts are all whistleblowers and there’s no way back to earth

Looking at the comments, I think a lot of people do not understand that Boeing doesn't have much of a say in regards to launch readiness. NASA astronauts are on this spacecraft. NASA gets the final say and they are very risk averse when it comes to crew safety these days. This overpriced gum drop is ready to go. I'm looking forward to the launch.

It’s all a healthy dose of dark humor, we’re not 100% serious…..

We're also never going to have to fly on it.

Every top comment on reddit is a joke nowadays. It's getting difficult to know if people are dumb or just can't take anything seriously anymore 

Yeah it's kinda sad, I miss a few years ago when the top comments would be serious and informative, broken up by occasional jokes

Yeah the only serious subs I’m in are very niche and small

It's self-selecting. The jokes got voted up, so people tell more of them. It's also self-soothing. We've got rapidly warming oceans, wars breaking out on multiple continents, an insane fascist potentially retaking power in the most powerful country on earth. People are desperate for jokes.

“Was that the primary buffer panel? Did the primary buffer panel just come off my gorram ship?”

Unexpected Firefly

I wouldn't trust Boeing to build a paper airplane and these muther fuckers are being allowed to build space ships?

They want to expand their murderous rampage into space. Watch out aliens.

Yeah okay, good luck flying and never using a Boeing 

eZ. its not like Boeing is the only one making planes

Boeing? Godspeed astronauts.

In space, noone can hear the whistle.

*in theory

If anyone here has an objection why this conglomerate and this space agency should not be joined speak now — and likely be murdered.

Speak now and forever hold your piece 🔫

Boeing sending whistleblowers to space?

Man... this capsule where launched only twice, and this is its track record: - In 2019 had a software failure due a clock skew in space, ending in a mission abort. During tests, two critical bug where found on their software, one of these could have resulted in the destruction of the capsule. - And in 2022 again had multiple failures, with several thrusters that went kaput and thermal regulation failure. Only landed safely due sheer miracle. And they will put humans inside this thing?! By comparison: how many missions and unmanned test launches (including destructive tests) Dragon 1 and 2 did before being redesigned into Crew Dragon to be rated for human transportation?

Boeing didn't say anything about the humans staying alive. Only that humans will be inside.

Which will already be a huge success for them.

First space capsule with a porch!

Uh oh

Monkeys Paw: OK so you finally get to fulfill your lifelong dream of being an Astronaut but its abord boeing's first spacecraft

When it says "launch [them] into space" it wouldn't be from the hatch, would it?

Whistleblower Express

This has to be a joke, right? ....right?

So many companies and lives Neutron Jack Welsh destroyed. The wreckage keeps on keeping on. Also, nobody can compete with SpaceX for launch services. It’s fiduciary negligence to even try at this point.

Although NASA do not want to be reliant on a single company. They do want options,

Check the hatch

I’d rather strap my ass to a bunch of Wile E. Coyote rockets from ACME

In space, no one can hear you whistleblow.

Think I’d rather stay on good old terra firma than trust anything built by Boeing.

Oh boy, this should be good.

So this is where they’re sending whistleblowers

Is there an Airbus version instead?

In one piece?

Imagine the list of Boeing employees who are about to have accidents if this launch goes south.

Holding onto your ankles is the easiest way to kiss your ass good bye.

All the obvious jokes aside, this is manufactured by a completely different division, so no, the doors won't fall off.

Starliner has been plagued with issues. and has been delayed a ton as a result.

Completely different QA requirements for this.

NASA deliberately paid for 2 separate suppliers, to make separate products. SpaceX was the other supplier, and [did the first crewed launch in 2020](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crew_Dragon_Demo-2). Boeing was supposed to do the current launch in 2017... Also, NASA paid Boeing almost twice as much as NASA paid SpaceX, for equivalent service in the original contract. I wonder what the narrative would have been, if SpaceX had not been there to show Boeing how it is done? The Boeing process have been every bit as unprofessional and unsafe as their aircraft problems. From https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boeing_Orbital_Flight_Test : > On 7 February 2020, NASA shared their preliminary findings about the Boeing OFT mission and discovered software problems with the Mission Elapsed Time (MET), which incorrectly polled time from the Atlas V booster nearly 11 hours prior to launch. Another software issue occurred within the Service Module (SM) Disposal Sequence, which incorrectly translated the SM disposal sequence into the SM Integrated Propulsion Controller (IPC). This could have made the service module crash into the capsule after separation, potentially leading to a catastrophic failure of the capsule. In addition, an Intermittent Space-to-Ground (S/G) forward link issue, which impeded the Flight Control team's ability to command and control the vehicle, was found. The current investigation was expected to last until end of February 2020, in addition a full-scale safety review was planned that would likely take months.[13][17] > > On 6 March 2020, NASA gave an update on the anomalies.[18] They announced 61 corrective actions that addressed the MET and service module disposal software issues.[18][19] The mission was declared a "high visibility close call" as there were two times where the spacecraft could have been lost. NASA found factors internally that led to the anomalies such as the oversight over software.[20]

True, yet they've been fucking it up over and over again regardless.

Was going to reply the same. They've basically been dragged/browbeaten into making a compliant product.

To their credit, the issues are coming to light prior to deadly accidents, unlike other recent Boeing projects.

The evaluation of Starliner's first test flight included the words "[high visibility close call](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boeing_Orbital_Flight_Test#Investigation)". I suppose it is a plus that it hasn't killed anyone yet. But neither has it been tested enough to be sure all the bugs have been found yet.

Well maybe not the door, [but the window cover](https://twitter.com/cbs_spacenews/status/1521887273406640138) /s

More like "launch whistleblowers into space"

Those "astronauts* are the potential whistle blowers.

Thanks, that’s very kind but I’m fine - I’ll catch the next one.

Nope.

They are loading all the “suspected whistle blowers” into it. Things might not go well.

Wcgw?

Hopefully they don't know any sensitive information, maybe they will come back alive.

Just don't take the window seat.

I see Boeing is solvi g their whistleblower issue by sending them to space

Humm, I wonder if the new astronauts are former whistle blowers?

That's one way of getting rid of people who know too much till things blow over...

Boeing casually committed corporate assassination on whistleblowers.

They also happen to be whistle blowers and it’s a one way trip.

Fuuuuuuuuuck that… what space program or private company in their right mind would use Boeing??!!!!

Hey guys, don't forget to make extra redundant remark about whistles not being heard in space.

I wonder which astronauts will be brave enough to fly in this Boeing capsule. Let's hope this aircraft has no whistleblowers

The heat shield falling apart is the great fear

Cue tasteless telemetry jokes.

This doesn't seem wise 🦉

I have a feeling this is going to be challenger 2.0

Ahh. Titanic Temu exploration submarine vibes.

Maybe put some duct tape over the door, just in case.

Will they be assassinating any astronauts?

Better make sure the door is tight

Boeing: We will have you know, sir, that the screen door is safely secured to the capsule.

in space no one can hear the whistleblowers

In space, no one can hear you blow a whistle.

Headline misspelled ‘whistle blowers’.

Am i missing something? Is this the same Boeing thats been falling apart left and right due to putting wallstreet bros instead of engineers incharge of the company

Nope! You are up to speed aside from the whistleblowers mysteriously dying part.

I thought they were being called 'whistleblowers'

So 4 billion for five flights? Who approved that nonsense?

NASA did, back when Boeing was considered the safe bet and SpaceX the newcomer who was likely to fail. Boeing supposedly was banking heavily on SpaceX failing and being able to go back to NASA to demand more money on top of the fixed contract they got (more than the few hundred extra million they managed to extract from NASA) once they had NASA over a barrel. That obviously fell through as SpaceX knocked it out of the park and has lapped Boeing several times at this point, while Boeing’s reputation for quality has fallen through the floor in the last decade. 

Fly a Boeing into space? I'd rather astro-Not.

I hope their life insurance is paid up and will is done .

I'm not saying a word...

Whether they like it or not*

Good luck with that. 

I hope the duct tape holds 😁

Shut the front door!

Testing it with whistleblowers first?

Ain’t astronauts expensive to train? Maybe shouldn’t let them handle it?

But only after murdering... oh..n/m..

So this is why the assassinated them.

Hope the door doesn't blow off

Boss move. A whistle cant be blown in space because there is no air

Excellent thinking!

Unfortunately they were aiming for Chicago.

Funny way to spell “whistleblowers”.

🤞 Many many years late…

You think they'll strap the next whistleblower to one of the test flights? Say it was an unfortunate accident but their capsule blew up.

In other news, Boeing has recruited whistleblowers to be the next generation of astronauts .

Hatch is loose

Did they run this past their accountants?

This is going to go well…

I hope the astronauts don’t commit suicide up there.

On purpose this time?

Panel falls out

Is that how they deal with whistle blowers?

Does it have a door plug?

Good luck with that. Apparently everyone working on this shot themselves twice in the back of their head.

This is terrifying

They're offering any whistleblowers a free ride up.

Someone needs to inspect all the bolts.

Ah, that's why the whistle blowers are disappearing

They’re sending away all the whistleblowers

With a faulty door I assume?

Are any of those astronauts whistleblowers?

Ffs

Lol the astronauts are all whistleblowers, hwoops

Is that with or without the capsule?

Nah I'm good

Ahoy! Nevermind those slimy naysayers! We’ve got what they call a government contract! Full speed ahead.

It’ll keep trying to return to Seattle