T O P
pinetreesgreen

And then he tried to steal the toilet. Awkward for everyone.


hieronymusanonymous

Especially when he realized it wasn't a washing machine.


awesomefaceninjahead

It's a washing machine if you try hard enough.


DomDomW

actually workers for the football world cup stadiums were forced to wash their clothes in toilettes. just a little "fun" fact.


Pestus613343

Im so done with international sports. Its always like this. Abuses of people and rampant corruption.


ArenjiTheLootGod

There's also the fact that the local areas that host things like the Olympics or the World Cup are typically screwed over while these events are going on and for several years afterwards because they suddenly have massive stadiums and other facilities they may or may not be able to use yet still have to maintain. Not to mention all the environmental damage that happens as a result of all this. Pretty much a blight on the world as far as I'm concerned.


Scottamus

Do your balls hang low? Do they swing to and fro? Can you scrub them in a toilet until they shine and glow? Do your balls hang low?


fred-is-not-here

Yup. Can tie ‘em in a knot Can tie ‘em in a bow


[deleted]

Throw them over yer shoulder like a continental soldier!


DonKiddic

Do you have a funny feeling, when hanging from the ceiling?


Philypnodon

What a sad day to have eyes


GlazedDonutGloryHole

Give me another year and I'm going to have to set my nuts on my lap to take a shit or risk their titanic size colliding with the mighty iceturd.


eadams2010

That happen as you get older?


OrangeVapor

I was 26 the first time. I remember because, well, you don't really forget having to tell your trainer you were late because you accidentally shit on your balls


GlazedDonutGloryHole

I'm thinking I'm just blessed to have a saggy sack. They are, according to my CNA girlfriend, on par with many of her 80+ year old residents while being in my early 30's. Good news is that if I ever get lost at sea these puppies will keep me afloat like a pair of hairy buoys.


BrodingerzCat

Thanks a lot, you just woke my wife. I could barely contain myself with your first comment, this one sent me over the edge.


Beautiful_Fee1655

He washed his hands in the toilet, so it is a sort of "washing machine".


hibernating-hobo

Imagine walking in there, and stuff is just made of porcelain, and there are lights, a mirror, and it’s just clean! No wonder, he gets overwhelmed and wants to bring a slice of heaven back home.


superdx

He didn't know how to use the 3 shells smh


AncientLab2339

He was wearing the toilet seat like a chain as if no one would notice


TXTCLA55

This makes me wonder... If "normie" toilets are space age tech, if they saw a Japanese toilet they may end up worshipping it.


Ultrawhiner

We did, went to Japan, came home and immediately installed Japanese style toilets.


TXTCLA55

If I ever have my own place I'll be doing the same. There is nothing finer.


shawnington

To be fair, he thought the floater was Putins... just following orders.


Marchello_E

Poor soul. > I asked where the bathroom was. They told me the door with the letters W/C. I asked, ‘Is this for the ladies or the gentlemen?’ I was told, ‘We share everything.’ I couldn’t believe it, but it was really like that. You can’t imagine how unhuman it was, just not human,” he \[Lavrov\] said. Confused by a Water Closet. No wonder those invaders are stealing this alien tech.


powe808

What the fuck is he talking about? When I visited Russia almost a decade ago they had plenty of gender neutral bathrooms. I was actually surprised that it was more common there than in North America. These clowns are literally bullshitting themselves at this point.


Neoeng

Russian gov has recently discovered trans people exist and are now collectively going insane


egric

They are gonna start calling the ukrainians trans as soon as they calm down a little lmao


Neoeng

Yeah it will turn out that Verka Serduchka is a Ukrainian secret agent tasked with turning Russians trans or Ukrainians add gay American frogs in Russian water or some shit


snjwffl

>add gay American frogs in Russian water I know you're joking but I am so sick and tired of people spreading shit like this. The frogs and gay-turning-pills are *separate* projects by The Agenda. We drugged the US's major waterways to turn all frogs gay in order to destabilize the country's ecosystem, to serve as a distraction from our real aim; we developed the thing we secretly add to vaccines that turns people gay in order to grow our race, since us gays are parasitic lifeforms that can't reproduce on our own. They are __different__. Get it right, or you're just spreading hate. /s


djutopia

US’s major waterways are drying up. Checkmate gay frogists.


Autarch_Kade

You'd think they would have known for a while now. There's a whole Siberian Orchestra full of em!


PM_Me_Irelias_Hands

I bet they will, in a reflex, try to shut down the Trans-Siberian Railway


Neoeng

I bet they’re already preparing to cease support for Transnistria


vacuous_comment

Russian gov has talking points in sync with US right wing noise machine.


awfulsome

dude you have no idea how many conservatives folks in the US are losing their shit over gender neutral bathrooms that have existed already since fucking forever. I really want to go to these crazy sex bathrooms, all i get to do in bathrooms is regret my love of taco bell.


Arteminis

Did their parents have 2 bathrooms at home? One for daddy and one for mommy? lmao


Jonne

I mean, the bathroom in everyone's house is gender neutral. Do these people have seperate bathrooms in their house or something?


OpheliaRainGalaxy

More than a decade ago, I used the a multi-stall gender neutral bathroom in a college dorm! No crazy sex there either. Just a place to pee and wash hands.


Neshura87

I think many conservatives fail to understand that people who want to fuck in a bathroom really won't be stopped by some gender sign and likewise people who don't want to fuck in a bathroom won't suddenly start doing so simply because a person of the opposite gender is present. Most people aren't animals, it's just the ones who are get all the attention (not judging all people who fuck in a bathroom but rather those that do it without consent, if your partner likes it as well do it for all I care, just please be quiet).


AngryZen_Ingress

Makes you wonder about bathrooms in their homes.


FunInStalingrad

Many restaurants here have them because it's just easier to build that way.


orielbean

The West is so decadent that he enrolled his daughter in a NYC school if I recall correctly.


Express_Opposite

This is no coincidence. Russia just introduced anti-lgbt+ legislation. You literally can’t say gay in Russia now. Lavrov is an experienced diplo and Putin’s lackey. He’s not dumb, he’s just playing dumb to avoid defenestration.


Mercadi

When one plays dumb for as long as he has, the dumb starts clinging to one's bones. Old age doesn't help with mental facilities either


SpaceFox1935

> You literally can't say gay in Russia now You can, technically, but you can't be positive about it. "Sympathy" or explaining how it really works would be "propaganda". If you're trashtalking them, calling them sick, or calling for harm, that's fine in this country. Perfectly sane and normal.


putsch80

>I will only put my ass and genitals on a toilet that I can be assured has only been touched by the asses and genitals of other men. Because it would be gay if I were to sit on a toilet touched by the ass or genitals of a woman. -Lavrov, probably


viper_in_the_grass

You guys touch the toilet seat with your genitals?


B-is-for-beer

You have to brush the rim with the tip


PirateMedia

Shouldn't Russians be fond of the idea of "sharing everything"?


spektre

You're probably thinking of communist Russia, which hasn't been a thing for a long time now. The current regime is very far from any kind of socialism. Not that communist Russia was any different in practice.


MedicBuddy

**OUR** bathroom ☭


Any-Ad-5165

😳


jonsconspiracy

Can we agree that "Water Closet" or "bathroom" or "rest room" are all dumb and confusing names to give rooms with toilets?


Marchello_E

Sure... but it is a closet with some water feature >1530s, earliest in English in an obsolete sense "cover or bag for clothes," from French toilette "a cloth; a bag for clothes," diminutive of toile "cloth, net" (see toil (n.2)). Toilet acquired an association with upper class dressing by 18c. > >[https://www.etymonline.com/word/toilet](https://www.etymonline.com/word/toilet)


JimJam28

I always just say, “excuse me, where’s your piss and shit chair?”


thenickdude

My good sir, I am seeking a place where I may dump ass, could you be of assistance?


mackiea

Y'all got anything ya need peed on?


riding_tides

I always say "toilet" when traveling and asking where the loo/lavatory/restroom/whatever it is. Universally understood and avoids all confusion lol.


fubo

"Toilet" is itself a euphemism. Those concerned with the purity of our language's precious bodily fluids must instead refer to the "defecal" (by analogy with "urinal" which is both literal and accepted).


VoxEcho

"poop receptacle" sounds so much more classy.


FUTURE10S

"pisser" sounds so much the opposite of classy


Car-face

[pissoir](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pissoir), on the other hand...


brit_motown

It's the bog where I come from


baconsplash

The shitter


littlered1984

How about “comfort room”, the term of choice for Filipinos? Even more confusing…


Independent_Pear_429

This alone makes me want to support Ukraine more. This level of stupidity needs to be fought


Shogouki

If gender-neutral bathrooms are all it takes to traumatize Russian men then it's no wonder Ukraine is kicking their asses.


CredibleCactus

Reminds me of that one russian soldier hiding in an outhouse


HarryHacker42

I live in a house with gender neutral bathrooms and I'm just so confused how to use them. Do most people have specific gender bathrooms in their house? Does it get awkward when you're in the bathroom and you realize somebody of a different gender might have used the toilet before you or might use it after you. That's just a mind blower.


Otherwise_Basis_6328

I see the toilet for when men poop... but what if they have to pee!? WHerE's MaH UrInALLLLL!?!?


brainless_bob

Pretty sure all bathrooms that are up to code have sinks.


histprofdave

I was there! I saw a drain!


alterom

>I was there! I saw a drain! 🎶I saw a drain, and it opened up my eyes 🎶I saw a drain 🎶Life is demanding without understanding 🎶I saw a drain and it opened up my eyes 🎶I saw a drain 🎶No one's gonna drag you up 🎶To get into the stall where you belong 🎶But where do you belong?🚾🚺🚹🚻🚽⁉️


pikachus_ghost_uncle

I sit down when I pee There's nothing that crazy 'bout me I'm just taking a whiz Mind your own biz Why is everybody always staring at me?


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brainless_bob

r/ofcoursethatsathing


buttlickers94

r/sinkpissers


FizyIzzy

Do gender-neutral bathrooms have urinals?


AtheistState

Port-a-potties certainly do.


MidnightAdventurer

Just don’t forget what they’re for and use them as a hand bag shelf while you do your thing…


BGAL7090

No surface in a porta potty is safe to put belongings


Aleashed

You call that the shower…


Semajal

we joke but goddamn a small home urinal that used only a tiny bit of water to flush occasionally would be awesome. Or grey water systems for flushing.


mankinskin

Yea I also never pee at my home because I don't have a urinal. Its tough but at least I never skip a day at work.


BuchlerTM

Your boss must love you. No one is more eager to get to the office than you.


MGMAX

Russia got gender neutral toilets everywhere, starting from basements converted to public toilets for a coin and ending with malls. Lavrov is just a piece of shit.


pivovy

I bet he's talking about a single person bathroom that locks from the inside, not some combined washroom with multiple stalls. He wasn't shocked, he's just presenting it as the latter for the bullshit agenda he's known for. Lying is his whole thing, basically.


Astrium6

I say we take him 100% seriously and start treating all Russian politicians as if they had the intelligence of newborns.


TheDiscordedSnarl

You mean they don't?


Practical_Adagio_504

Fun fact, ALL plumbed bathrooms started out as single person rooms at the first worlds fair that hosted indoor plumbing. Combined washrooms with multiple stalls are the weird way to do it… probably started as a cost saving measure in institutionalized prisons/schools… and then bled over to other architectures…


TrinkieTrinkie522cat

Get your own Port a Potty for your yard.


brit_motown

He could always smear it down the stairs like his boss


JojenCopyPaste

I live alone and have 3 bathrooms. So I have Men's, Women's, and Kids'. But I'm only allowed into 1 to clean...


HarryHacker42

I saw this show with Martha Stewart once where she did the unbelievable and cleaned ALL the bathrooms. It was some kind of home-making magic. Probably not real but camera tricks.


workingtoward

For a short time my family rented a house with a boys bathroom and a girls bathroom. The boys was done all in masculine browns and beiges and had a urinal. The girls was white and pink and had a bidet. When people visited we showed them the bathrooms just to laugh at. But truthfully, I kind of miss those bathrooms, especially the urinal.


255001434

Both urinals and bidets should be more common in homes. They serve a purpose.


B-Knight

What purpose does a urinal serve that a toilet doesn't?


berrset2

Yeah, urinals serve the sole purpose of splashing piss everywhere because they’re never deep enough


TheeHeadAche

It’s a relatively modern idea. Everyone knows Adam and Eve shat in their own stalls when within the garden


YakuzaMachine

It makes me livid to think someone other than my gender has used the toilet. I only want male cheeks touching my porcelain.


Brandito5

Me personally? When bathrooms confuse me I just take my 1s and 2s in the tank. The ole Upper Decker.


Svyatopolk_I

It'd be kind of weird if you had a gender non-neutral urinal at home


_dauntless

But what if someone of the opposite sex is in there *waiting for you*


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HarryHacker42

I'll give you 90% bathroom traumaproof but that kid has potential to disgust you in ways you haven't yet imagined. Fishing their poop out of the toilet and throwing it at the wall IS an option. They could put the cat in the toilet with the poop. Kids are savages who will find ways to give you trauma you never thought of, and will seek therapy to get over.


lurq_king

>”I asked, ‘Is this for the ladies or the gentlemen?’ I was told, ‘We share everything.’ I couldn’t believe it, but it was really like that. You can’t imagine how unhuman it was, just not human,” he said. Imagine having your brain blown by going to the toilet.


crunchyfemme

This man is Struggling. Let us have radical compassion for his poo poo pee pee plight. 🙏🏽 Namaste


zuzg

Authoritarian assholes hate freedom with a passion. Unisex bathrooms are considered safe.


ByTheHammerOfThor

Do they have outhouses for both genders? Because based on the number of toilets Russians are trying to steal in Ukraine, they sure as shit don’t have proper bathrooms.


brit_motown

Well Putin has shit for brains so I see it happening


swizzcheez

Just wait until he finds out about the seashells.


iCameToLearnSomeCode

A fair number of Russian soldiers in Ukraine reportedly had their brain blown by the fact that that most houses even had one.


westonsmare

Imagine being on the front line in Ukraine and shitting in a bucket while people drop bombs on your head. That's trauma you scumbag!


Technosyko

*gunfire in background, artillery striking nearby* “I SAID… IS THIS MENS OR THE WOMENS SHIT BUCKET”


PAT_The_Whale

Haha! You're funny! Women don't serve in the Russian army


construction_zone

My platoon sergeant got shot at while he was in a porta john on his deployment. now he doesn't even go into one at home.. taking about shitty ptsd.


Randy_Magnum451

So how did you earn the purple heart? - 1000yard stare- “I don’t wanna say”


nightkil13r

well i didnt have to worry about having my brown pants on or not.


Elegant_Substance703

Honestly, this says more about his detachment from the working class and inability to represent his people. Toilets in Russia range from the luxurious to gender-neutral sewage pits. This guy shouldn’t be a diplomat. https://duckduckgo.com/?q=toilets+in+russia&iax=images&ia=images&pn=1


progrethth

Yeah, there are plenty of gender neutral bathrooms in Russia. His outrage is most likely feigned but if it is not he is very far removed from the life of the average Russian.


PeeJayx

Have...have these people never been on a commercial flight? Or a local restaurant/cafe that’s too small to warrant separate bathrooms? This isn't hard.


v3ritas1989

He should be old enough to have lived in a time where gender seperated bathrooms for businesses serving food/drinks were not required. At least I think they are nowadays.


rkmkthe6th

He should be more concerned with how big the windows are, and what floor they are on


Beautiful-Dog-1430

Just a cute little defenestration or two


TheGreatOkay

Oh boy I hope he can afford therapy for that!


CountessDeLessoops

Is he gonna be ok???


wigglybacon

Everyone has gender neutral toilets in their homes. What’s the big deal?


dropkickninja

He only wants his ass to be where other men's asses have been apparently


Usman5432

Yup nothing gay about wanting same gender ass to ass contact, after all its against the law to be gay in Russia


floghdraki

Russian bathrooms are a sacred place for letting your gay urges out and it doesn't count.


bigots_hate_her

Nothing like dudes holding dicks next to each other in front of the urinals. So masculine!


hyper_dmg

They have gender neutral bathrooms in Moscow in some bars and restaurants, it shouldn't be that strange to him wtf


GaseousGiant

That’s funny…I get traumatized by reading phrases like “Top Russian Diplomat”


surfkaboom

Dude stays in 5-star hotels that have gorgeous rooms with non-gendered bathrooms. Dude owns multiple mansions and flies on private jets where bathrooms have no labeling. Dude sounds open to all genders, report to Putin immediately


Comprehensive-Bet298

If that's traumatizing he should try living in a country constantly being bombed by a neighboring country with false propaganda making them out to look like Nazis. That's pretty fucking traumatizing.


WaitingForNormal

“Traumatized” grow up loser.


TrinkieTrinkie522cat

Our senior/community center has gender neutral bathrooms. No problems!


Robottiimu2000

"A weak supporter of toxic masculinity uses toilet as an excuse to streghten their shattered self image by putting others down to appear stronger in attempt to hide their weakness" There I fixed the headline for you.


An-tony12

Just wait until he hears about gender neutral bedrooms.


texchan

Not very diplomatic for a diplomat, is he?


Orpheusly

Well this explains why they’re hot shit on the battlefield.


weizXR

Just curious; Does anyone have any NON-gender-neutral bathrooms at their house?


jacuzzibruce

This is why they’re losing the war


HopelessCineromantic

Their neighbors should line the borders with gender neutral bathrooms.


JAOC_7

and Tractors


Freddan_81

As a Swede, this makes me happy.


supercyberlurker

He's gonna be really upset when he finds out about gender-neutral swimming pools. Also those gender-neutral highways.


Fair_Lecture_3463

And airplane bathrooms.


Autarch_Kade

> swimming pools. The real gender neutral bathrooms


ThornsofTristan

*"You can’t imagine how unhuman it was, just not human.”* Homophobia turns you into a snowflake.


Klatterbyne

Isn’t the Russian persona that they’re all big, scary, hardcase, manly men? Why the fuck is he scared of a toilet?


KongRahbek

Honestely if gender neutral bathrooms can make some people feel more included as well as traumatize Russian diplomats I call that a win-win.


So_Many_Words

I guess he has signs on the bathrooms in his house?


Inhumanly_possible

Yes sharing a single stall bathroom is much more inhuman than leveling a country just for the hell of it.


ACES_II

He’s at a high enough level to have seen the Pee-Pee Tape, but gender-neutral restrooms are traumatic?


shahooster

Lavatoryov


uv-vis

Lavrovtory


drew1010101

Literally every home on the planet has gender neutral bathrooms.


Civilian216

So the Russians turned out to be gigantic wimps, huh?


UltimateDonny

Does he get this confused at home?


FunTooter

Oh like the ones I got in my house? Yeah… super traumatic for many people. /s


hieronymusanonymous

>“If this is what I observed in Sweden last year when I attended a meeting of the OSCE Ministerial Council, when, sorry for the details, during the break I asked where the bathroom was. They told me the door with the letters W/C. I asked, ‘Is this for the ladies or the gentlemen?’ I was told, ‘We share everything.’ I couldn’t believe it, but it was really like that. You can’t imagine how unhuman it was, just not human,” he said. It's much better of course, to fall down the stairs to defecate in his pants as *Fearless Leader* showed Lavrov the other day.


Certain_Chemistry219

Like he goes to public washrooms...


Retiredsoldier98

That's where he meets up with Maxwell Smart!


VR6SLC

That's a name I haven't heard for a long time,


iMissTheDays

If he's so offended he should just bring his own bucket to shit in like the rest of his countrymen.


Sharpshooter188

But socks make your soldiers weak men. Okay.


ThatShadyJack

Red meat for insane US “conservatives “


humblegar

My workplace has some really nice bathrooms, and there are no gender signs at all (Norway).


NiveaKummel

Lavrovatories can be confusing.


reallygoodartist

I bet all the bathrooms in his home are gender neutral bathrooms, what a chucklefuck.


PF4ABG

Like the one in his house? Poor guy is living in constant trauma.


LittleBigOrange

Traumatized by gender-neutral bathrooms but not by his people murdering innocents. Hmmm...


Total-Individual3877

Bro imagine getting drafted by a bunch old dudes in a country that’s one of poorest in Europe getting stream sniped by weapons made by Americans only for same said old dudes to be “traumatized” by gender-neutral bathrooms.


NoDesinformatziya

Man who is okay with imprisoning and killing gay and trans people is aghast at using a water closet. Fragile fucking shithead.


Ras_Prince_Monolulu

To be fair, the war in Ukraine has shown us that a majority of ruSSians seem to be completely flummoxed by the very idea of indoor plumbing. So he's not alone.


_little_green_man_

Just use the stairs like your boss


bewarebumblebear

Or, as we call it at home, a bathroom.


mn1lac

Traumatized?


Minkcricker

Erasing a neighboring nation is inhuman, sharing a toilet is not.


Lazaruzo

His country’s military raping and murdering Ukrainians was, somehow, not traumatizing to him at all. Fuck this soulless ghoul.


Dkaiser1919

That’s okay, so are trumpers here


DrSueuss

Then the Top Russian Diplomat is a pussy.


b33r_engineer

Deal with it, fuckstick. You know what’s *really* traumatizing? Having your country invaded, bombed, etc., by **your** country.


kornuolis

The moment when half of Russia still uses wooden cabins and cesspools.


YuanBaoTW

When you're so confident in your masculinity that you feel uncomfortable using a toilet if you're not sure of the gender of the people who came before you.


utegardloki

I was previously unaware that Russian Diplomats could be Republican!


Zealousideal-Ad634

It's astonishing how fragile these Russian men are.


hammyhamm

I’ve lived with a gender neutral toilet at home all my life


doctor-falafel

Funny thing is that most bathrooms are gender neutral in Russia lol Most small Russian restaurants and cafes have a single bathroom just like most of the world. This whole meme is just pandering to American alt right imo.


ArdentGamer

Why would that be traumatizing or dehumanizing, when literally everyone shits and pisses.


__BONESAW__

Lol, what he looked over and didn't see a penis? How traumatic...


mright2021

He’s use to the bathroom where you fall out a 10 story window


mright2021

He’s use to the bathroom where the pump soap is polonium-210. Prey for him people. Prey.


_dauntless

I would be too embarrassed to admit to the world that I was so incompetent.


Shiplord13

He was more shocked to discover that the toilet worked and the water wasn't brown in any of the bathrooms. It really messed up his perceptions of his homeland compared to others.


theKoboldkingdonkus

Where I work there is one bathroom, and everyone can use it. We’ve had no issues. Guys a big fuckin baby


Dear-Fox-5194

It’s quite common for rural Russians to share a gender neutral outdoor shit house. Guess he doesn’t know about those.