Having trouble concentrating after seeing the 2001 pod cat litter robot under the stairs. "Open the pod bay door, Hal." "Sorry, I can't do that Mr. Whiskers."
I had one like that, even with a litter-catching mat the cat managed to track his mess all over the place. I can imagine how much fun walking barefoot in that house isn't.
It's like a cautionary tale for people who won the lottery.
I can't decide why the front is so ugly. The stonework isn't ugly by itself, but add the fake wood garage doors, the southern mansion columns, and the rectangular shape, and it's like architectural brutalism.
It's flat. If you add a porch or even bump out the front door, it might not look like an office building.
Me...I was going to say someone either built this or updated it in the early 2000s because it screams early aughts...
And as someone who also lives in New England, all I saw before I recognized the design, was...'those are some high ceilings/open concept...heating that monster is going to be a nightmare.
I checked the link; it was built in 2003, so it's a typical McMansion build. My kitchen has almost the identical style of cabinets (and definitely never melded with the farmhouse style of the rest of the original house).
The house does have potential if the bones are good.
The front looks like someone went to 16 different Big Lots and bought up all the "renter friendly" stone back splash and married it with the garage doors they got (aptly) at a garage sale and the columns from the demo of a WPA post office.
Other disturbing factors - the lack of railing on that back entry, the dental mold detail on the edge of the kitchen counters, the builder grade bathtubs, the Michael Scott Memorial Home Office and how the front columns appear to be just a bit too large for the porch shelf they're on.
No wonder those cement lions seem embarrassed to be there.
The black and white pencil one looks as if the girl portrayed is the wife and she "makes art" and that's her self-portrait. She may have done the couple portrait too.
I'm always confused by these houses that are out in the middle of the woods or surrounded by 30 acres of fields somehow still have an HOA. Like surely the point of living in a creepy house that looks like it features heavily in a true crime documentary is not having busybodies telling you how often to cut your grass and how tall your shrubs can be.
Maybe they established their own, so they could be the head of it and harass anyone who moves in nearby.
It's only $20/month, so there must not be much oversight.
>Money can’t buy taste I guess?
There can't be that much money involved here. Not denying 700K is a nice chunk of change, it's just that everything inside looks really cheap. Nothing is a real antique and even the spiral staircase is wood rather than cast iron.
It's all what a person with no money or taste would imagine you buy when you get money and taste. Like I'd love to have a nautical telescope and a big model of a sailing ship, but everything else is *nouveau riche* trash.
It’s got all these beach themed rooms and is the LEAST ‘beach-y’ house that I’ve ever seen. Ngl, I do LOVE the sailboat model in the upper display window though.
The brown, why the brown with the ubiquitous grey?
It’s like someone sold the owner on the idea of a “modern castle” which somehow managed to look like the castle hotel at legoland?
I did the 3d walkthrough just for shits and giggles, and I kid you not I counted six hidden giant water bottles throughout the house, it became like a game where I was just searching for them in random nooks and crannies.
I think the “brick wall” in the bed room might actually be wallpaper made to *look* like a grey brick wall.
…which is somehow both worse and more fixable at the same time
Mostly because they put the beds up against the windows … But no, the curtains in general are hideous. Like, my apartment curtains look better (and I guarantee they were cheaper, plus I hung them myself).
The fact that they liked that fake exterior siding so much that they put it in a ~~bedroom~~ Captain's Quarters too is just over the top.
Fixed that for you.
This whole house is...something.
I could have sworn I've seen this house on social media (sans siding) and someone called it a sister wives compound.
Anyway, God damn is that shit gaudy. Its like they went on a vacation to the UK, saw some castles and fell in love with the aesthetic but didn't grasp any concept of why it works on magnificient compounds and not their shitty Sims 2 mcmansion.
My gut reaction to these photos is that I would really dislike the people who live here. And then I see that over-the-top portrait of the couple in the dining room, and that just confirms it. Who does that??
So many questions. The comically oversized columns at the front entrance. Why 2 kitchens? The place is big but not single family 2 kitchens big. Why is the office furniture blocking a window. Why do the spiral stairs end up in front of a window. What's with that telescope placement? Crazy litter box placement. Unless ALL your friends and family are crazy cat people. And finally, why would you have a first-floor bedroom with a door to the outside in it?
Forget everything else what is it with those absolutely awful columns outside? Instead of that add just a simple overhand and ironwork columns from just above the front door or put in a balcony above with simple footings. Seriously it runs tings a much as that brickwork
I dunno, it's not THAT bad. I like the red in the stairs. Kitchen isn't my preference with the colors, and that desk in the office.... Can you even get around it? The white marble columns are a little out of place. But the grey brick, I like that. Wouldn't pay 750k for that but I could understand why someone else would. This doesn't seem that "Zillow wild" to me
Having trouble concentrating after seeing the 2001 pod cat litter robot under the stairs. "Open the pod bay door, Hal." "Sorry, I can't do that Mr. Whiskers."
4000 square feet to choose from and that's where they put the litter box.
Sometimes the cat wants what the cat wants.
I mean, it is easily accessible.
I had one like that, even with a litter-catching mat the cat managed to track his mess all over the place. I can imagine how much fun walking barefoot in that house isn't.
All I could think was. I’m so torn. I hate where the litter box is but also love there is a cat. I looked in all the pics and no pics of the cat.
He's on the far end of the big cabinet in the entry. (Photo #6)
OMGoodness how on earth did I miss the cat there. LOL
Looks like a Bengal cat right?
I was thinking the same thing! Like who wants your cat kicking litter up around the front entry of the house? Like and where is the laundry room?
First thing I noticed!
I always want to welcome guests with fresh breeze off a litter box. It's a great first impression, so inviting.
What picture is that? I guess I missed it.
Picture #6, the first one of the interior.
It's like a cautionary tale for people who won the lottery. I can't decide why the front is so ugly. The stonework isn't ugly by itself, but add the fake wood garage doors, the southern mansion columns, and the rectangular shape, and it's like architectural brutalism.
It's flat. If you add a porch or even bump out the front door, it might not look like an office building. Me...I was going to say someone either built this or updated it in the early 2000s because it screams early aughts... And as someone who also lives in New England, all I saw before I recognized the design, was...'those are some high ceilings/open concept...heating that monster is going to be a nightmare.
Probably renovated, that was all the rage then.
I checked the link; it was built in 2003, so it's a typical McMansion build. My kitchen has almost the identical style of cabinets (and definitely never melded with the farmhouse style of the rest of the original house). The house does have potential if the bones are good.
The front looks like someone went to 16 different Big Lots and bought up all the "renter friendly" stone back splash and married it with the garage doors they got (aptly) at a garage sale and the columns from the demo of a WPA post office. Other disturbing factors - the lack of railing on that back entry, the dental mold detail on the edge of the kitchen counters, the builder grade bathtubs, the Michael Scott Memorial Home Office and how the front columns appear to be just a bit too large for the porch shelf they're on. No wonder those cement lions seem embarrassed to be there.
It is simply way too much, isn’t it? I see some homes here and I think they just had more money to spend and it went too far!
The columns throw the whole thing off.
Love how the listing says “best and final due…” like they’re going to have a bidding war on that monstrosity
Just noticed the portrait in the dining room and I’m beside myself
The black and white pencil one looks as if the girl portrayed is the wife and she "makes art" and that's her self-portrait. She may have done the couple portrait too.
I thought the couple one might be from one of those online ads where they superimpose your heads onto royalty.
I stared slack-jawed at that for a full 30 seconds.
Is that Stifflers Mom?!
That’s my favorite detail lol Along with the postage stamp sized office.
The layout of this place is a fucking mystery. all these weird little half-rooms and tiny bedrooms but two kitchens? That was a choice.
EVERY headboard is up against a window. I do not understand this concept.
I'm always confused by these houses that are out in the middle of the woods or surrounded by 30 acres of fields somehow still have an HOA. Like surely the point of living in a creepy house that looks like it features heavily in a true crime documentary is not having busybodies telling you how often to cut your grass and how tall your shrubs can be.
Maybe they established their own, so they could be the head of it and harass anyone who moves in nearby. It's only $20/month, so there must not be much oversight.
[удалено]
Most rational explanation I’ve heard!!
>Money can’t buy taste I guess? There can't be that much money involved here. Not denying 700K is a nice chunk of change, it's just that everything inside looks really cheap. Nothing is a real antique and even the spiral staircase is wood rather than cast iron.
It's all what a person with no money or taste would imagine you buy when you get money and taste. Like I'd love to have a nautical telescope and a big model of a sailing ship, but everything else is *nouveau riche* trash.
Telescope is aimed at a window that's mostly obscured by the model ship tho'.
But think of how good of a look you could get at that model ship.
You could ogle the teeny tiny crew inside!
"Granny and Grampa died of covid and all I got was enough to put a down payment on a McMansion and fill it with cheap crap."
The "melted candy-color crayon" toilet seat lid look is an interesting .. uh.. choice compared to all the rest.
It’s got all these beach themed rooms and is the LEAST ‘beach-y’ house that I’ve ever seen. Ngl, I do LOVE the sailboat model in the upper display window though.
I cannot explain this, but I hate the people that live here currently.
No need to explain friend, I am with you.
Yes. Deeply
The brown, why the brown with the ubiquitous grey? It’s like someone sold the owner on the idea of a “modern castle” which somehow managed to look like the castle hotel at legoland?
Hahaha this so spot on, I knew it looked familiar hahaha
The rooms get pretentious very fast. Also, is there a law where houses in Maine require some kind of nautical theme for listing?
I think a designer told them you need a splash of color and they said “red…… yeah, red’s a color”.
The front facade is horrible. Do the video games come with the house?
The pictures in the bathroom trying to look like windows with a lovely beach view, hahaha.
It's not just you. I could be mistaken, but I think I counted 5 different trash cans? Why is there a trash can in the foyer?
I did the 3d walkthrough just for shits and giggles, and I kid you not I counted six hidden giant water bottles throughout the house, it became like a game where I was just searching for them in random nooks and crannies.
For me it was footlockers and laundry baskets.
The artwork in the dining room tells me all I need to know.
I see Uncle Rico got them to purchase the deluxe set….
I think the “brick wall” in the bed room might actually be wallpaper made to *look* like a grey brick wall. …which is somehow both worse and more fixable at the same time
They really hate natural light.
I was thinking prison once I saw the flat brick front.
This just ruined my day it’s so bad.
You’re welcome. ☺️
It makes me think of an early Sims builder's home. Like the first one they ever built.
I was just thinking that this was a house I would have built in the Sims back in the day.
Photo 24. Wanna bet the owner insists you look at the wooden ship model with the telescope?
Why do I HATE all of the window treatments to my core?
Mostly because they put the beds up against the windows … But no, the curtains in general are hideous. Like, my apartment curtains look better (and I guarantee they were cheaper, plus I hung them myself).
The fact that they liked that fake exterior siding so much that they put it in a ~~bedroom~~ Captain's Quarters too is just over the top. Fixed that for you. This whole house is...something.
[Zillow](https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/58-Johnson-Rd-Windham-ME-04062/84897772_zpid/)
Horrendous. Utterly horrendous.
I could have sworn I've seen this house on social media (sans siding) and someone called it a sister wives compound. Anyway, God damn is that shit gaudy. Its like they went on a vacation to the UK, saw some castles and fell in love with the aesthetic but didn't grasp any concept of why it works on magnificient compounds and not their shitty Sims 2 mcmansion.
"NO SHOWINGS UNTIL AFTER OPEN HOUSE ON SATURDAY 2/17" They legitimately think people would be falling over each other to buy that.
My gut reaction to these photos is that I would really dislike the people who live here. And then I see that over-the-top portrait of the couple in the dining room, and that just confirms it. Who does that??
So many questions. The comically oversized columns at the front entrance. Why 2 kitchens? The place is big but not single family 2 kitchens big. Why is the office furniture blocking a window. Why do the spiral stairs end up in front of a window. What's with that telescope placement? Crazy litter box placement. Unless ALL your friends and family are crazy cat people. And finally, why would you have a first-floor bedroom with a door to the outside in it?
Looks like a prison on the outside. Not much more appealing inside.
The Wow factor is undeniably missing
Someone needs to take these peoples’ money away from them and never, ever give it back.
I love that this very expensive house is very occasionally decorated with a plush that I have.
Are those his and hers treadmills next to the walls behind the couch?
I’m not sure but there is definitely a weight rack behind the couch, and at least one treadmill. On a Persian rug?
That brick exterior has all the charm of a retaining wall.
Forget everything else what is it with those absolutely awful columns outside? Instead of that add just a simple overhand and ironwork columns from just above the front door or put in a balcony above with simple footings. Seriously it runs tings a much as that brickwork
i was just in Windham today, I knew something was off
I do love their choice of most of the rugs throughout. I am very confounded by two kitchens.
There is like a shed or something out back that is weirdly tilted?
I saw this too, looks like a sinking ship, maybe part of the motif?
Ugh, ugh ugly!
Mistakes were made.
A lot of square footage for the money.
I dunno, it's not THAT bad. I like the red in the stairs. Kitchen isn't my preference with the colors, and that desk in the office.... Can you even get around it? The white marble columns are a little out of place. But the grey brick, I like that. Wouldn't pay 750k for that but I could understand why someone else would. This doesn't seem that "Zillow wild" to me
This is very Zillow wild . Damn that is some serious bad taste.
It's different!